|
Oh Flashy.
|
# ? Feb 7, 2020 01:06 |
|
|
# ? Jun 10, 2024 11:53 |
|
Young Bismarck did quite a bit of his own carousing iirc.
|
# ? Feb 7, 2020 11:45 |
I might have to track down a Flashman book or two now.
|
|
# ? Feb 7, 2020 21:56 |
|
TheGreatEvilKing posted:I might have to track down a Flashman book or two now. They're written nonsequentially, and half of the adventures he references are never included in any of them, so you can really jump in anywhere. Pick a historical period you're interested in and go for it - I particularly thought the ones about the Lucknow mutiny (Flashman and the Great Game) and the Charge of the Light Brigade (Flashman at the Charge) were both really fascinating.
|
# ? Feb 7, 2020 22:49 |
|
Flashman does his best to be friendly with Bismarck, to not much effect. Bismarck does comment that he thinks he might have seen Flashman somewhere in Germany before, but Flashman says he's never been to Germany. At dinner, Bismarck dominates the conversation with one tedious lecture after another until everyone in the house is thoroughly sick of him. Flashman decides the best thing is to just avoid him. quote:He unsettled me; he was so damned superior. Tom was wrong in one thing: Bismarck wasn't an rear end, whatever else he might be. In some ways he was like that outstanding idiot Cardigan, under whom I had served in the 11th Hussars, but only on the surface. He had the same splendid certainty in everything he said and did; he looked on the world as created for him alone; he was right, and that was that. But where Cardigan's arrogant eye had the shallow stare of the born fool, Bismarck's didn't. You could see the brain at work behind it, and those who listened only to his rather monotonous sermonisings and noticed only his lack of humour—of our kind of humour, anyway—and put him down as a pompous dullard were well wide of the mark. Relations become even more strained when Bismarck manages to insult Flashman's two main talents – languages and horsemanship. At breakfast one day, Bismarck overhears someone mention Flashy's skill at acquiring languages, and sneers that it's a useful talent for a headwaiter. The second, and more serious, incident comes after a trip out into the country to hunt turns into an impromptu steeplechase race back home. Flashman holds back at first, not wanting to charge ahead and risk a fall, but as the race moves into more open land, he pushes forward. quote:There is a moment every jockey knows, when he feels his mount surge forward, and he lies with his head down being brushed by the mane, and sees the gap narrowing ahead of him, and knows he has the legs of the field. I felt it then as I thundered past the ruck, hearing the thud of the hooves and seeing the clods thrown up from the wet turf, feeling the wind in my face as the trees flew past; even now I see the scarlet coats in the fading light, and smell the rain-sodden country, and hear the yelps of the fellows as they cheered each other on and laughed and cursed. God, it was good to be young and English then!
|
# ? Feb 8, 2020 00:23 |
I love any Flashman with riding because it's one of the only things he is really genuinely into
|
|
# ? Feb 8, 2020 10:07 |
|
"Bismarck" posted:"I won, did I not? ", says he.
|
# ? Feb 8, 2020 13:09 |
|
Flashman gets his revenge, however (was there any doubt?). A few days later, after watching the prizefight, Flashman, Bismarck, and the other guests are listening to the referee, retired boxer Jack Gully, tell stories about his career and boxing in general. Bismarck has to give his opinion of boxing: quote:"You make very much of this boxing, I see. Now, it is an interesting enough spectacle, two of the lower orders thrashing each other with their fists, but does it not become boring after a while? Once, or even twice, perhaps, one might go to watch, but surely men of education and breeding must despise it." He goes on to compare boxing unfavorably to German schlager dueling, which he claims requires real martial skill. This, of course, doesn't win him many fans among the English crowd. Flashman, seeing his chance, jumps in to ask Bismarck if he thinks he could handle himself in a boxing match (or “mill,” as it was called back then). Bismarck asks if he's offering a challenge, but Flashman says he just wants Bismarck to learn something about boxing and points out they have the best teacher possible here – Gully. John Gully's actual boxing career lasted only three years; he took it up while imprisoned for debts when he failed as a butcher, and was successful enough to pay off his debts and make a decent bankroll. After retiring, he became a bookie, a pub owner, a racehorse owner, and a Member of Parliament. If you're curious, you can read more about some of Gully's fights from a contemporary sportswriter here. Please note that in these descriptions, "bottom" is used to mean a combination of courage and toughness -- so try not to snort too much at lines like "The bottom displayed on both sides excited universal astonishment." Gully waves Flashman's suggestion off at first, but everyone is excited at the prospect of seeing him in action – not to mention seeing the snotty German taken down a peg. He finally agrees when one of the guests offers to sell him a racehorse he has his eye on. Bismarck is laced into boxing gloves – this is still the pre-Marquis of Queensberry, bare-knuckle era, but padded gloves for training and sparring had been introduced a couple of decades ago. Then he and Gully face off. And while Bismarck may be half Gully's age, big, strong, and athletic, Gully is still a professional. quote:"Time!" cries Spottswood, and Bismarck swung his right fist. Jack swayed a little and it went past his face. Bismarck stumbled, someone laughed, and then he struck again, right and left. The right went past Jack's head, the left he stopped with his palm. Bismarck stepped back, looking at him, and then came boring in, driving at Jack's midriff, but he just turned his body sideways, lazily almost, and the German went blundering by, thumping the air. Bismarck reluctantly admits that yes, there's skill in boxing, and then says he wants to keep going – and this time he'll let Gully hit him back. Gully admires his spirit, and says he'll just spar with him. They go around again, with Bismarck flailing away and unable to land a punch, while Gully taps Bismarck with his gloves again and again – and Flashman is sure to laugh loudly every time Bismarck whiffs on a punch. Finally, just as time is called, Bismarck charges in and Gully accidentally pops him on the nose, drawing blood. He starts to apologize, and Bismarck grabs him around the waist and bodyslams him to the floor. Gully gets up furious but trying to keep his temper under control. quote:"Best stop now, I think," says he at last. Perceval, the host, tries to calm things down, but Gully can't take the idea of someone, especially not an arrogant foreigner, claiming he asked for a fight to stop. Bismarck says he's willing to continue, and they go at it in earnest, much to Flashy's joy. quote:I don't know what Bismarck hoped for. He wasn't a fool, and Gully had demonstrated already that the German was a child in his hands. I can only suppose that he thought he had a chance of throwing Gully again, and was too damned conceited to escape gratefully. At any rate, he went in swinging both arms, and Jack rapped him over the heart and then cracked him a neat left on the head when he was off balance, which knocked him down.
|
# ? Feb 8, 2020 22:53 |
|
Feels a bit weird to use a guy who actually existed as a character like this. e: guess using the queen and Elphy didn't strike me as much as this but the depiction of the queen was a lot more perfunctory and bland and Elphy was being depicted doing stuff he roughly actually did and poor Otto is fully being turned into a character in the novel doing fully made up stuff?
|
# ? Feb 9, 2020 13:20 |
aphid_licker posted:Feels a bit weird to use a guy who actually existed as a character like this. Yeah that happens sometimes in historical fiction.
|
|
# ? Feb 9, 2020 14:03 |
|
Hieronymous Alloy posted:Yeah that happens sometimes in historical fiction. Has there been a famous case where there was a big discussion regarding what you should or should not be doing as a writer with people who actually existed? Not asking because I'm mad about Bismarck, just curious.
|
# ? Feb 9, 2020 14:17 |
|
Ah, rpf discourse.
|
# ? Feb 9, 2020 15:17 |
|
Also, frankly, if you look at Bismarck's youth, this is definitely the sort of stupid bullshit he would have gotten into.
|
# ? Feb 9, 2020 20:39 |
|
aphid_licker posted:Feels a bit weird to use a guy who actually existed as a character like this. Strap yourself in, it's kind of a Thing in the series. The woman in the carriage also actually existed btw.
|
# ? Feb 9, 2020 23:45 |
|
aphid_licker posted:Feels a bit weird to use a guy who actually existed as a character like this. ...what's your view on Abraham Lincoln?
|
# ? Feb 10, 2020 01:07 |
|
Krazyface posted:...what's your view on Abraham Lincoln? I think his fame as a vampire hunter is overrated.
|
# ? Feb 10, 2020 01:32 |
|
Okay ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
|
# ? Feb 10, 2020 13:03 |
Aren't these all Flashy's memoirs anyway? No reason to assume he's being one hundred percent honest.
|
|
# ? Feb 10, 2020 13:46 |
|
Royal Flash posted:It has never been the same since; they tell me that young King Edward does what he can nowadays to lower the moral tone of the nation, but I doubt if he has the style for it. The man looks like a butcher. Having now got to this point in my re-read I think it should have been pointed out at the time that Flashy and Speedicut's stylish lowering of the national moral tone that night involved trying to get a bus conductor to swear at them. It wasn't until they failed at that they went for cards, booze and ladies of negotiable virtue.
|
# ? Feb 10, 2020 23:18 |
|
TheGreatEvilKing posted:Aren't these all Flashy's memoirs anyway? No reason to assume he's being one hundred percent honest. That's a reading that goes at odds with the meta-text from Fraser. It hasn't been commented on in the read through, but these books have quite discursive footnotes. These are an avenue to get into more detail on historical snippets, and to assure the reader that the more outlandish stuff has some manner of factual grounding. It also has several comments per book where Fraser essentially says, from the authorial voice, "He's a real rotter, but you can trust that he's telling the truth as he perceived it."
|
# ? Feb 11, 2020 00:51 |
|
Undead Hippo posted:That's a reading that goes at odds with the meta-text from Fraser. At the start of Flashman, Flashy writes something to the effect he's going to "break the habit of eighty years" and be absolutely truthful. Of course, it's still Flashman we're talking about here... After the boxing, he guests turn back to serious drinking, but Bismarck is well aware of who steered him into the fight in the first place and says as much to Flashy: quote:"Still I cannot place you, Captain. It is most intriguing; but it will come back, no doubt. However, I trust you were not disappointed with your evening's entertainment." -- We skip ahead to the next year, May 1843. Flashman is still idling in London waiting for Uncle Bindley to find him a military posting. In the meantime, the bloom is starting to wear off his Afghan heroics: quote:Yesterday's hero is soon forgotten, and while Elspeth and I had no lack of invitations during the season, it seemed to me that I wasn't quite so warmly feted as I had been. I wasn't invariably the centre of attraction any longer; some chaps even seemed to get testy if I mentioned Afghanistan, and at one assembly I heard a fellow say that he personally knew every damned stone of Piper's Fort by now, and could have conducted sightseers over the ruins. Flashy is hanging around backstage in a Haymarket theater during rehearsal with some acquaintances and he spots a dancer who looks familiar – and then realizes it's Rosanna. One of the other idlers sees him looking and explains who she is: quote:"Why, she's his new danseuse, don't you know," says he. "It seems that opera hasn't been bringing in the tin lately, so Lumley imported her specially to dance between the acts. Thinks she'll make a great hit, and with those legs I'll be bound she will. See here." And he pushed a printed bill into my hand. It read: She was born Eliza Rosanna Gilbert in Ireland, and even as a child was notorious for her strong-willed and unpredictable nature. After growing up in India when her soldier father was sent there, Eliza returned to England to complete her education and ended up eloping with a Lieutenant Thomas James at the age of 16. The marriage fell apart after a few years, and in 1843 Eliza decided to reinvent herself as "Lola Montez" and embarked on a career as a professional dancer. Flashman's further investigation reveals that the theater owner has been heavily advertising his new “Spanish” dancer, and the critics are falling over themselves to praise her. And Flashman, of course, sees an opportunity for revenge. quote:At first I was just amused, but then it occurred to me that here was a heaven-sent opportunity to have my own back on her. If she was exposed, denounced for what she really was, that would put paid to her making a hit. It would also teach her not to throw piss-pots at me. Flashman remembers that when he'd had his affair with Lola/Rosanna, she'd often talked about her other admirers, including one Lord Ranelagh, who had pursued her but gotten shot down. That, Flashman figures, makes Ranelagh a natural vehicle for his plan. quote:But all I'd heard suggested that he was a first-class swine, and just the man for me. The Something Awful Forums > The Book Barn > Let's Read Flashman: “You're a singularly unpleasant creature.” Thomas Jones, Viscount Ranelagh, was indeed a notorious womanizer despite looking like this, which only goes to show what money and a title can get you. Selachian fucked around with this message at 07:02 on Feb 11, 2020 |
# ? Feb 11, 2020 01:04 |
|
Selachian posted:
So that's what happened to Cameron from Ferris Bueller after the car incident.
|
# ? Feb 11, 2020 01:26 |
|
Poor Gilbert died of tertiary syphilis at 39 years old so Flashy seems to have dodged yet another bullet
|
# ? Feb 11, 2020 12:06 |
|
At the theater Monday night, Ranelagh and his hangers-on show up and take their box next to the stage, and Flashman snags a seat in the back of the box, remaining unobtrusive. The crowd is full of London's famous and powerful, most of them talking eagerly about Lola Montez. The main show is “The Barber of Seville,” which Flashman, no connoisseur of the arts, finds boring; he spends most of the time thumbing through the ads in the back of the program. Finally, though, the first act ends and Lola comes out on stage. quote:I'm no authority on the dance; the performer, not the performance, is what I pay to see. But it seemed to me that she was damned good. Her striking beauty brought the pit up with a gasp: she was in a black bodice, cut so low that her breasts seemed to be in continual danger of popping out, and her tiny pink skirt showed off her legs to tremendous advantage. The slim white neck and shoulders, the coal-black hair, the gleaming eyes, the scarlet lips curled almost in contempt—the whole effect was startling and exotic. You know these throbbing, Spanish rhythms; well, she swayed and shook and stamped her way through them in splendid passion, and the audience sat spellbound. She was at once inviting and challenging; I doubt if there was any gesture or movement in the whole dance that a magistrate could have taken exception to, and yet the whole effect of it was sensual. It seemed to say "Bed me—if you dare", and every man in the place was taking her clothes off as he watched. What the women thought I can't imagine, but I guess they admired her almost as much as they disliked her. Lola performs again after the second act, and Ranelagh puts on a show of examining her closely through his opera glasses and looking puzzled. As she comes out for another dance after the third act, Ranelagh signals to his entourage to back him up. quote:She swirled through the dance, showing splendid amounts of her thighs, and gliding about sinuously while peeping over her fan, and at the finish there was a perfect torrent of clapping and shouting, with bouquets plopping down on to the stage and chaps standing up and clapping wildly. She smiled now, for the first time, bowing and blowing kisses before the curtain, and then suddenly, from our box there was a great hissing in unison, at which the applause faltered and died away. She turned to stare furiously in our direction, and as the hissing rose louder than ever there were angry shouts and cries from the rest of the theatre. People craned to see what the row was about, and then Ranelagh climbs to his feet, an imposing figure with his black beard and elegant togs, and cries out, very distinctly: Being exposed by Ranelagh ended Lola's career as a dancer in London, although she claims in her autobiography (see below) that she had a difference of opinion with the director. She eventually departed for the Continent, where she seemed to naturally attract scandal. As Flashman writes: quote:First there was a report of her horse-whipping a policeman in Berlin; next she was dancing on the tables during a civic banquet in Bonn, to the outrage of Prince Albert and our Queen, who were on a State visit at the time. Then she was performing in Paris, and when the audience didn't take to her she stripped off her garters and drawers and flung them at the gallery; she started a riot in the streets of Warsaw, and when they tried to arrest her she held the peelers off with pistols. And of course there were scores of lovers, most of them highly-placed: the Viceroy of Poland, the Tsar of Russia (although I doubt if that's true), and Liszt the musician. She took up with him two or three times, and once to get rid of her he locked her in a hotel room and sneaked out by the back door. Lola wrote her autobiography about 15 years later, a peculiar little book where she writes about herself in the third person and which, sadly, is rather evasive about the more lurid details of her tour of Europe.
|
# ? Feb 12, 2020 00:33 |
|
aphid_licker posted:Feels a bit weird to use a guy who actually existed as a character like this. Flashman is the Forrest Gump for the Trump Era.
|
# ? Feb 12, 2020 03:02 |
|
joat mon posted:Flashman is the Forrest Gump for the Trump Era. Forrest Gump, but also evil and horny.
|
# ? Feb 12, 2020 03:18 |
|
I was gonna ask what kind of turd doesn't like Barber of Seville but on reflection my affection for it is almost entirely due to Bugs Bunny and I've never seen the whole thing...
|
# ? Feb 12, 2020 03:29 |
|
We now skip ahead a few years to 1847 (and, for now, skip over the events of two later novels, Flashman's Lady and Flashman and the Mountain of Light). Flashman is returning to London again, this time with some of his own money in hand and a pistol ball in his back, although he doesn't go into detail about how he got either. And when he returns home, he discovers to his horror that his in-laws, the Morrisons, have moved into his house. Flashman's father, who has been hitting the booze harder and harder as he grows older, is away in the country drying out. The Morrisons are in London to hunt for husbands for Elspeth's other, less attractive, sisters, and Flashman dreads the prospect of having to help out. So when a strange letter arrives in the mail, he's thrilled for a chance to get away. quote:It was a fine, imposing cover—best quality paper, with a coat-of-arms on the back, which I have before me now. There was a shield, quartered red, blue, blue, and white, and in the quarters were a sword, a crowned lion, what looked like a fat whale, and a pink rose. Plainly it was either from someone of tremendous rank or the manufacturers of a new brand of treacle. (In Zenda, Lauengram is one of “The Six,” henchmen of the main villain, Black Michael.) Flashman assumes it's a joke at first, and then, after studying the letter further, concludes that it's far too elaborate for a joke. Out of curiosity, he goes to the lawyer's office and discovers that, yes, there is indeed £500 waiting for him if he agrees to go to Munich. He asks for more detail on who this Countess de Landsfeld is, and can you guess? quote:"Well," says he, giving me an odd look. "This is dam— most odd, you know. My dear sir, are you sure? Quite apart from this letter, which seems to suggest a most, ah … cordial regard, well, I had not thought there was a man in England who had not heard of the beauteous Countess of Landsfeld." The lawyer has no idea what Lola might want, and Flashy isn't quite vain enough to believe that she just wants to renew acquaintances when she's the mistress of a king (and, according to the lawyer, has a “picked bodyguard of splendid young men”). But there's the money, and the chance to get away from the Morrisons … Flashman decides to accept the offer, figuring he can always run if there's any sign of a catch. In the real world, Lola did become the mistress of King Ludwig I of Bavaria in 1846 (supposedly, when they met he asked her if her breasts were real, and she ripped off her top to show him). Ludwig was 61 and Lola was 28 at the time. He installed her in a palace and gave her the title of the Countess of Landsfeld and a 20,000-florin pension, and she lived a lavish lifestyle and was extremely influential in Ludwig's decisions – which didn't endear her much to the people of Bavaria. All of Ludwig's ministers resigned in protest at her meddling in politics and her outrageous demands, but he just installed new ones – possibly chosen by Lola herself. (And no, he wasn't the famous "Mad King Ludwig" -- that was his grandson, Ludwig II.)
|
# ? Feb 13, 2020 00:44 |
|
Flashman prepares for his trip to Germany, over the Morrisons' objections. quote:Campaigning teaches you to travel light, and a couple of valises did my turn. I took my old Cherrypicker uniform—the smartest turnout any soldier ever had anywhere—because I felt it would be useful to cut a dash, but for the rest I stuck to necessaries. Among these, after some deliberation, I included the duelling pistols that a gunsmith had presented to me after the Bernier affair. They were beautiful weapons, accurate enough for the most fastidious marksman, and in those days when revolving pistols were still crude experimental toys, the last word in hand guns. The 11th Hussars' "Cherrypicker" uniform, with bright red pants and tons of gold braid, was definitely designed more for the parade ground than the battlefield. Along with the pistols, Flashman also packs a sailor's knife. He also finds a German waiter who wants to go home, and offers to pay his way if he'll teach Flashman German on the trip. So they travel to Munich via Paris, and would you like to hear Harry Flashman's opinion of Europe? quote:We did not hurry on the journey, which was by way of Paris, a city I had often wanted to visit, having heard that debauchery there was a fine art. I was disappointed: whores are whores the world over, and the Parisian ones are no different from any other. And French men make me sick; always have done. I'm degenerate, but they are dirty with it. Not only in the physical sense, either; they have greasy minds. Other foreigners may have garlic on their breaths, but the Frogs have it on their thoughts as well. Yes, well. Rather than go straight to Lola's palace, Flashman decides to wander around Munich's cafes and beer gardens for a while and hear what people are saying about her. Lola, it seems, has Bavaria's political establishment under her thumb. Some of the citizens disapprove of her, others are firmly supportive, but in the end, Ludwig is crazy about her and that's what counts. After a few days, Flashman finally sends a note to Lauengram saying he's in the city and ready to meet with Lola. quote:Then I wandered over to the Residenz Palace, and looked at Lola's portrait in the public gallery—that "Gallery of Beauties" in which Ludwig had assembled pictures of the loveliest women of his day. There were princesses, countesses, actresses, and the daughter of the Munich town-crier, among others, and Lola looking unusually nun-like in a black dress and wearing a come-to-Jesus expression. Here's the portrait in question. The “Gallery of Beauties” is still there, by the way, in case you ever want to check out the royal spank bank. After a few days of cooling his heels, Flashman is starting to get impatient, until he finally gets a response to his note: quote:I was finishing breakfast in my room, still in my dressing-gown, when there was a great flurry in the passage, and a lackey came to announce the arrival of the Freiherr von Starnberg, whoever he might be. There was much clashing and stamping, two cuirassiers in full fig appeared behind the lackey and stationed themselves like statues on either side of my doorway, and then in between them strolled the man himself, a gay young spark who greeted me with a flashing smile and outstretched hand. (In the context of military uniforms, a dolman is a short, usually about hip-length, cape worn slung over one shoulder.) Selachian fucked around with this message at 06:52 on Feb 14, 2020 |
# ? Feb 14, 2020 06:46 |
|
Selachian posted:The “Gallery of Beauties” is still there, by the way, in case you ever want to check out the royal spank bank. I like how nearly every one of them looks irritated at having to have their portrait done.
|
# ? Feb 14, 2020 13:33 |
|
PoptartsNinja posted:I like how nearly every one of them looks irritated at having to have their portrait done. Lady Digby is absolutely done with this poo poo.
|
# ? Feb 14, 2020 13:37 |
|
Did ze Freiherr just call Flashy fat?
|
# ? Feb 14, 2020 13:52 |
|
aphid_licker posted:Did ze Freiherr just call Flashy fat? Just big, I think. Because he is. It's his biggest advantage when he can't avoid a fight.
|
# ? Feb 14, 2020 16:28 |
|
PoptartsNinja posted:I like how nearly every one of them looks irritated at having to have their portrait done. Skimming through them, it's also fairly obvious that Ludwig had a thing for brunettes with long noses and bare shoulders.
|
# ? Feb 14, 2020 18:45 |
|
Krazyface posted:...what's your view on Abraham Lincoln? I like how Lincoln instantly sees through Flash’s bullshit
|
# ? Feb 14, 2020 20:31 |
|
Nckdictator posted:I like how Lincoln instantly sees through Flash’s bullshit It's always a little awkward when historical fiction puts real people into it, but Fraser's enough of a historian that his characterization of them usually seems to just amplify whatever the general judgment of history is.
|
# ? Feb 14, 2020 23:41 |
|
Flashman dresses in his “Cherrypicker” uniform and joins Starnberg for the trip to Lola's palace. He notes as he does so that Starnberg, for all his youth and cockiness, has an air of being genuinely tough. Lola's palace is small, as palaces go, but richly furnished. There's a crowd of dignitaries waiting for a chance to see her as Starnberg escorts Flashman in, and it's clear that Lola is doing quite well for herself. As they arrive, they see Lola ejecting a priest from her room (with the help of some thrown crockery) for telling her that the local Catholic hierarchy won't provide her with a private chapel and confessor – if nothing else, she's not actually Catholic, which Lola dismisses as a trivial detail. quote:"Please, madame, oh, please!" The little fellow was on the verge of tears. "Why do you abuse me so? It is not my fault. Dr Windischmann objects only to the suggestion of a private chapel and confessor. He says… ." Hearing Flashman's voice, Lola greets him warmly and tells the gathering that he was her friend when she was a “poor little nobody” in England, and praises Flashman's military heroism, at which Flashman goes into his familiar aw-shucks-no-big-deal act. quote:"What's this very delicate matter that your chamberlain talked about?" Lola's entourage, including Starnberg and Flashy, trails after her to see a troop of cuirassiers on parade, then to walk her dogs, and then for a music and poetry recital: quote:The centre of it was a long-jawed, tough-looking fellow whose name meant nothing to me at the time; he talked interminably, about music and liberal politics, and everyone lionised him sickeningly, even Lola. When we went into an adjoining room for a buffet— "erfrischung" as the Germans call it—she introduced him to me as Herr Wagner, but the only conversation we had was when I passed him the ginger and he said "danke". (I've dined out on that incident since, by the way, which shows how ridiculous people can be where celebrities are concerned. Of course, I usually expand the story, and let on that I told him that "Drink, puppy, drink" and "The British Grenadiers" were better music than any damned opera, but only because that is the sort of exaggeration that goes well at dinner parties, and suits my popular character.) And all through this, Flashman is suffering terrible boredom and increasingly desperate to get Lola alone. As dinner is called, Flashy, despite his initial impulse to be cautious, starts drinking heavily, until he's completely blasted on top of being horny. Late in the evening, he approaches Lola to drunkenly suggest they just go to bed. And wonder of wonders, she agrees and leads him into a darkened chamber where he flops on a couch. She tells him to wait a moment, and the next thing Flashy knows a woman is climbing all over him. Flashman's exploring hands tell him, however, this isn't Lola, and he realizes it's one of her followers, a chubby baroness who's been lustfully eyeing him all day. quote:I tried to shove her off, but she was too heavy; she clung to me like a leech, murmuring endearments in German, and pushing me back on the couch. (Eine Hammelkeule = a leg of mutton. This is one of a few occasional hints that our hero is generously endowed.)
|
# ? Feb 15, 2020 00:47 |
Flashy never learns, does he?
|
|
# ? Feb 15, 2020 17:01 |
|
It's probably not what happened (?) but if turns out that all that was going on is that Lola spent 500 poonds of her noble lover's money to set up Flashy to look like a buffoon in front of all of Bavaria to get back at him that would be kinda awesome.
|
# ? Feb 15, 2020 18:58 |
|
|
# ? Jun 10, 2024 11:53 |
|
If only it was that lol.
|
# ? Feb 15, 2020 20:14 |