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MetaJew
Apr 14, 2006
Gather round, one and all, and thrill to my turgid tales of underwhelming misadventure!

oohhboy posted:

Load up on medical PPE. Masks, splash shield, goggles, hand sanitisers, antiseptic wash. Additional clothing to change out of and take care of cross contamination.

Twinkies so you don't have to eat the local food. Comedy option.

I have a coworker who had to go to Xian for about a week to work with one of the teams there. I believe he took a jumbo size container of JIF and a loaf of white bread.

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Porfiriato
Jan 4, 2016


Barudak posted:

Guyovitch wasnt perma'd just a ban. Regardless of whoever that poster is, dont break quarantine and lure people infected with C-spam into this thread.

Need some volunteers to stand around a half-assed barricade at the entrance of our village and smoke 红双喜 cigarettes while making sure no suspicious outsiders from other forums provinces come in or out.

BaconCopter
Feb 13, 2008

:coolfish:

:coolfish:

BrainDance posted:

I think you can get the plague from squirrels in Colorado or something, the others I'm not exactly sure. Get them all together, take the health check, get rid of them. I think this is a fool proof plan I cant really see what could go wrong with it.

Yeah, squirrels and chipmunks in Rocky Mountain National Park, as well as most other large parks, can rarely have the plague. Adorable lil plague bearers.

BrainDance
May 8, 2007

Disco all night long!

I've got a family member who had to work for a couple months in China and he didn't like the food, but he just ate it anyway and dealt with it because he doesn't have severe autism.

Booty Pageant
Apr 20, 2012
p sure ikea is across most of china and has imported scandinavian foods at decent prices

Mistle
Oct 11, 2005

Eckot's comic relief cousin from out of town
Grimey Drawer

Booty Pageant posted:

p sure ikea is across most of china and has imported scandinavian foods at decent prices

I seem to recall the horse meat incident from a while ago where "surprise, IKEA meatballs may contain horse meat!" was a thing that made people mad in the EU and US because eating cows was fine but murdering my little pony for Swedish deliciousness was verboten. China IKEA posted a response something along the lines of "We don't use imported horse meat, we use Chinese meat" and suddenly they were very unpopular with Chinese people because China doesn't have a problem with horse meat, but "Chinese meat" had that very bad connotation of "it was a living thing once, whatever it was"

Maybe they import it now, maybe not, but that was one very :lol: moment from a past China thread :china:

Fojar38
Sep 2, 2011


Sorry I meant to say I hope that the police use maximum force and kill or maim a bunch of innocent people, thus paving a way for a proletarian uprising and socialist utopia


also here's a stupid take
---------------------------->
Chinese meat has a very bad connotation basically everywhere and lol at the idea of a company admitting that they use it if they aren't also doing a pump and dump on their own stock

Ziv Zulander
Mar 24, 2017

ZZ for short


Mistle posted:

I seem to recall the horse meat incident from a while ago where "surprise, IKEA meatballs may contain horse meat!" was a thing that made people mad in the EU and US because eating cows was fine but murdering my little pony for Swedish deliciousness was verboten.

The scandal wasn’t just false advertising, it was that they were using race horses instead of horses farmed for meat. The difference is that race horses are pumped full of all sorts of performance enhancing drugs that aren’t meant to be consumed by people.

WarpedNaba
Feb 8, 2012

Being social makes me swell!
The drugs or the horses?

Also, I've just realised that I've never had a twinkie.

Ziv Zulander
Mar 24, 2017

ZZ for short


WarpedNaba posted:

The drugs or the horses?

Also, I've just realised that I've never had a twinkie.

Both

Twinkies are okay but they’re nothing too special

MarcusSA
Sep 23, 2007

Ziv Zulander posted:

Both

Twinkies are okay but they’re nothing too special

Yeah they are ok.

I mean definitely have one but they aren’t gonna blow your mind.

Ziv Zulander
Mar 24, 2017

ZZ for short


MarcusSA posted:

Yeah they are ok.

I mean definitely have one but they aren’t gonna blow your mind.

That thing about them lasting forever is just a myth too. They last longer than they should, but they’ve still got eggs in em, and anything with eggs has a definite shelf life

GotLag
Jul 17, 2005

食べちゃダメだよ

Ziv Zulander posted:

That thing about them lasting forever is just a myth too. They last longer than they should, but they’ve still got eggs in em, and anything with eggs has a definite shelf life

Sexist

Ailumao
Nov 4, 2004

poverty goat posted:

it's all for show because the money is contaminated, the cup is contaminated, and the person handling the cup and counting change is also sending the food down the ramp

no one in china has used cash in like 3 years. this is literally the only thing not an issue with that setup lol

related, my pizza today came with a chart of everyone who came near it and their temp at the time:

Kharnifex
Sep 11, 2001

The Banter is better in AusGBS
Horse meats my all time fave meat. Death to horses!

strange feelings re Daisy
Aug 2, 2000

If you're scared of the IKEA horse meat then you can just eat their imported crackers, tubes of fish paste, and weird foam candy.

BrainDance
May 8, 2007

Disco all night long!

how come the hotdogs at ikea are too big for the buns?

Kharnifex
Sep 11, 2001

The Banter is better in AusGBS
While sitting in prisoner produced chairs that dissolve in water

Power Khan
Aug 20, 2011

by Fritz the Horse

Mistle posted:

I seem to recall the horse meat incident from a while ago where "surprise, IKEA meatballs may contain horse meat!" was a thing that made people mad in the EU and US because eating cows was fine but murdering my little pony for Swedish deliciousness was verboten. China IKEA posted a response something along the lines of "We don't use imported horse meat, we use Chinese meat" and suddenly they were very unpopular with Chinese people because China doesn't have a problem with horse meat, but "Chinese meat" had that very bad connotation of "it was a living thing once, whatever it was"

Maybe they import it now, maybe not, but that was one very :lol: moment from a past China thread :china:

Trivia, there's a german thing called Pferdeleberkäse, which literally translates to "Horse liver cheese"

Have a nice day, my friends.

Potrzebie
Apr 6, 2010

I may not know what I'm talking about, but I sure love cops! ^^ Boy, but that boot is just yummy!
Lipstick Apathy
IKEA is not a publically (or gray market) traded company so a PnD would be pointless.

IIRC, the horses were not even old race horses but "What should we do with these diseased and or dead horses? Let's make IKEAballs!" :capitalism:

Son of Rodney
Feb 22, 2006

ohmygodohmygodohmygod

I have zero problem with eating horse, in fact, due to a vivid animosity towards them, I'd be more likely to eat horse than other animals.

Stupid rear end horses with their kicking and biting while being dumb as gently caress

Charlz Guybon
Nov 16, 2010

Magna Kaser posted:

no one in china has used cash in like 3 years. this is literally the only thing not an issue with that setup lol

related, my pizza today came with a chart of everyone who came near it and their temp at the time:



Wow. That's kind of amazing actually and I can't imagine it being legal in the states to require that.

Atlas Hugged
Mar 12, 2007


Put your arms around me,
fiddly digits, itchy britches
I love you all
My school issued thermometers to all students and we have to have them all take their temperatures midway through the day. There's been only a handful of cases in Bangkok and none at my school.

Shumagorath
Jun 6, 2001

Known Lecher posted:

Lol R "Genocide Explainer" Guyovich's parachute account got outed in the CSPAM Wuflu thread.
I read that as CSPAM Waifu Thread and didn't blink.

GoutPatrol
Oct 17, 2009

*Stupid Babby*

Shumagorath posted:

I read that as CSPAM Waifu Thread and didn't blink.

No the Bernie thread is over there

Booty Pageant
Apr 20, 2012
i like my horse meat raw with a light sear

also ikea herring in dill and onion is great, i could eat it everyday if i had to be quarantined

bob dobbs is dead
Oct 8, 2017

I love peeps
Nap Ghost

GoutPatrol posted:

No the Bernie thread is over there

Surely berns is a husbands

Atlas Hugged
Mar 12, 2007


Put your arms around me,
fiddly digits, itchy britches
I love you all

bob dobbs is dead posted:

Surely berns is a husbands

Bernie is all things to all people.

yaffle
Sep 15, 2002

Flapdoodle

Ziv Zulander posted:

That thing about them lasting forever is just a myth too. They last longer than they should, but they’ve still got eggs in em, and anything with eggs has a definite shelf life

I read this and I was thinking "bug eggs?" but then I realized you meant chicken eggs, which I didn't associate with Twinkies.

Grand Fromage
Jan 30, 2006

L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?


Charlz Guybon posted:

Wow. That's kind of amazing actually and I can't imagine it being legal in the states to require that.

There's an approximately 0.0% chance those numbers are real, anyway. And temperature has been demonstrated to not be in any way reliable for diagnosis.

WarpedNaba
Feb 8, 2012

Being social makes me swell!

BrainDance posted:

how come the hotdogs at ikea are too big for the buns?

It's the genuine Swedish experience :quagmire:

Shaocaholica
Oct 29, 2002

Fig. 5E
They have pizza in china? What a strange and novel new times we live in.

Play
Apr 25, 2006

Strong stroll for a mangy stray

Son of Rodney posted:

I have zero problem with eating horse, in fact, due to a vivid animosity towards them, I'd be more likely to eat horse than other animals.

Stupid rear end horses with their kicking and biting while being dumb as gently caress

not to mention that due to historians being horse fanatics, the role of the combat cow has been purposefully erased from history in favor of a false, horse-centric history. few people realize that horses were actually invented in the early 60s

CIGNX
May 7, 2006

You can trust me
Espionage pro-tips here

https://www.nytimes.com./2020/02/13/technology/huawei-racketeering-wire-fraud.html

quote:

The indictment portrays Huawei as orchestrating a steady, if not sophisticated, campaign to steal trade secrets. For instance, the indictment alleged that in 2004, a Huawei employee sneaked back to a Chicago trade show to steal a competitor’s technology. The employee “was discovered in the middle of the night after the show had closed for the day in the booth of a technology company” and was found “removing the cover from a networking device and taking photographs of the circuitry inside.” The individual wore a badge listing his employer as “Weihua” — an anagram of Huawei — according to the indictment.

Shaocaholica
Oct 29, 2002

Fig. 5E

Lol why would you wear your spy agencies badge while doing spy stuff. Even hollywood movies aren't that dumb. Hire a white person to do it.

Gargamel Gibson
Apr 24, 2014
- How did you know he was a SPECTRE agent?
- He was wearing a badge that said RESPECT.

Hopper
Dec 28, 2004

BOOING! BOOING!
Grimey Drawer

Mistle posted:

I seem to recall the horse meat incident from a while ago where "surprise, IKEA meatballs may contain horse meat!" was a thing that made people mad in the EU and US because eating cows was fine but murdering my little pony for Swedish deliciousness was verboten. China IKEA posted a response something along the lines of "We don't use imported horse meat, we use Chinese meat" and suddenly they were very unpopular with Chinese people because China doesn't have a problem with horse meat, but "Chinese meat" had that very bad connotation of "it was a living thing once, whatever it was"

Maybe they import it now, maybe not, but that was one very :lol: moment from a past China thread :china:

Actually this was because horse meat for human consumption is literally illegal in some us states (and EU countries iirc). Germany has no law against it but it is less common in the South and more in the north west.

I like horse. It is lean, has a distinct sweetish taste and is healthy as well.

Zushio
May 8, 2008
It is extremely hard to find in my area, but there is no law against eating it. If anyone has seen Mad Men there is an early episode specifically about the moral outrage over horse meat in general.

BrigadierSensible
Feb 16, 2012

I've got a pocket full of cheese🧀, and a garden full of trees🌴.

Maybe I am thinking of a different horse meat scandal. But as I remember it, it was a supermarket chain in the UK that had bought cheap Eastern European horse meat to put in it's "beef" lasagna. And one of the ways they found out, (or maybe it was a news program after they found out), was that they went all the way back to the factory and accused the owner of selling *gasp* horse meat instead of good honest beef. And the owner puffed out his chest and said "Yep, nothing but the finest horse meat from us!"

And to bring it back to recent China based events. All the stuff that China, (and other countries) are doing re: coronavirus all seems largely performative and theatrical to me. I haven't heard much about actual practical attempts to fight it/help the victims apart from the CSIRO people managing to synthesize it.

Everything else I hear seems to me mainly fear mongering, and stories of elaborate ways to shut yourself in, mask shortages, citywide lockdowns etc. None of which help protect yourself from the virus as much as washing your hands before and after touching filthy public surfaces

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Despera
Jun 6, 2011

BrainDance posted:

plague, cholera and yellow fever are all sections of the health check you gotta get before coming.

I think you can get the plague from squirrels in Colorado or something, the others I'm not exactly sure. Get them all together, take the health check, get rid of them. I think this is a fool proof plan I cant really see what could go wrong with it.

praire dogs carry it. but fleas are known for jumping

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