UKMT February 2020 - horny for shepherdess feet

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Debate & Discussion > UKMT February 2020 - horny for shepherdess feet

Ms Adequate: Oct 30, 2011; Baby even when I'm dead and gone
You will always be my only one, my only one
When the night is calling
No matter who I become
You will always be my only one, my only one, my only one
When the night is calling

Shafting is sharing

e; oh for gently caress's sake

In 1859 Edmond Modeste Lescarbault discovered Vulcan, a planet between the Sun and Mercury. The powers that be have since worked hard to ensure this discovery remains quashed and discredited, and to convince the world that Vulcan does not exist.

Ms Adequate fucked around with this message at 02:37 on Feb 13, 2020

# ? Feb 13, 2020 02:33

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 24, 2024 18:09

WhatEvil: Jun 6, 2004; Can't get no luck.

Ms Adequate posted:

Shafting is sharing

You sniped with this 10 pages too early.

# ? Feb 13, 2020 02:34

Azza Bamboo: Apr 7, 2018; THUNDERDOME LOSER 2021

Metal shafts to shaft my shaft.

# ? Feb 13, 2020 02:40

Fumble: Sep 4, 2006; Can't post for 16 days!

Azza Bamboo posted:

Metal shafts to shaft my shaft.

There was a story the other day about a lady that "rolled over in bed" and managed to get her vibrating necklace stuck horizontally in her bladder.

# ? Feb 13, 2020 03:23

OwlFancier: Aug 22, 2013

I have a great idea for an SCP article that is a weird anomaly that lodges objects in compromising places in the human body via an unknown process.

# ? Feb 13, 2020 03:25

FairyNuff: Jan 22, 2012

OwlFancier posted:

I have a great idea for an SCP article that is a weird anomaly that lodges objects in compromising places in the human body via an unknown process.

it has been described as "really fuckin horny, so horny you guys"

# ? Feb 13, 2020 03:38

goddamnedtwisto: Dec 31, 2004; If you ask me about the mole people in the London Underground, I WILL be forced to kill you; Fun Shoe

Guavanaut posted:

Andrew KG?

# ? Feb 13, 2020 08:13

Jippa: Feb 13, 2009

Had more high wind last night and my power got knocked out. Luckily it must have come back on in time for my storage heaters to charge again.

# ? Feb 13, 2020 08:16

Chucat: Apr 14, 2006

OwlFancier posted:

Well I think you've got to use their methods to a degree, at least right now, but when you go on the news (or make the news) you have to think about how you speak. Corbyn when he started didn't sound like a politician, he gave pretty straight answers to questions. But over time he started acting more and more like... well a politician. You can see it in the debates, when he tries to dodge questions or looks like he is, he gets booed. People shut up and even respect simple, direct answers, or at least answers that address things that actually matter.

State your intent, expand if pressed further, make the person asking the questions go on the back foot. Corbyn, as much as I like him, wasn't that good at that, and more to the point it wasn't how the rest of the party did it, or if they did they were going against the likes of starmer et al who faffed about with wishy washy bollocks.

I think it's what people like about trump. Yeah he sounds insane, but he doesn't sound like a politican, and what little he does articulate is simple. Foreigners bad, america great, democrats pissbabies. And the last one is even true! I also think it's what people like about sanders too, he's good at answering questions and controlling the flow of the conversation, much better than corbyn was. He sounds like he's winning, but I don't think corbyn has ever really argued with people he didn't respect, so he doesn't do that, he doesn't seek to dominate his opponent. I guess it's not something that comes with being an actually sensitive lefty.

You need, ultimately, to sound like a daily mail article. Cos if you look at that poo poo (possibly through tinted glass) it's written like a children's book. It tells you what to feel, it spells everything out in very simple language, it's like a series of triggers for your brain to elicit emotional responses and it's all framed around stuff you maybe sort of care about, or which tangentially connects to stuff you care about, or is stuff you care about because it's part of the narrative you've been consuming.

You can do that about actual good ideas too, most of us post that way quite a lot. But it's something that the political machine discourages, especailly on the lib/left, among the kind of nerd who ends up on the press team.

You get time on the media as the opposition party, and yes it will be hostile, but you won't get anywhere by being defensive, you can use that coverage to get people's attention. Labour did it really well in 2017 and I think there's room to do it again, but I think in 2019 the tories did it a lot better, and labour did it a lot less, and labour rarely did it directly attacking the tories.

They're going to have a lot of tory poo poo to attack over the next few years, and boris's blustering is gonna get real old real fast if labour can consistently reframe it as them, channeling the anger of the working people of the country at the inept government.

Maybe I'm sort of projecting on his question here, but I think he's getting at:

How do you get through to voters that are so badly informed and incurious they literally thought Labour was in government for the last 5 years, they think Brexit is going to massively improve their lives, and they voted Boris Johnson because they voted for "change"? Do you literally just get Momentum people to float around them like Jiminy Crickett for the better part of a decade going "No, that's bullshit, no, this guy is the prime minister, no, this is how an election works."

Like look at the guy who posted in this thread less than 24 hours ago, that guy was lucky enough to pay 10 dollars, come here and ask these questions, and even he's doubling down on his lack of information. And that's literally the most favorable scenario.

# ? Feb 13, 2020 08:35

ShaneMacGowansTeeth: May 22, 2007; I think this is it... I think this is how it ends

I have been fighting off a cold since last weekend and now, inevitably, I've given up and decided to take some time off to actually deal with it. It's not the worst I've had, but I think if I was to go into work today, I'd probably still be off work on Monday

# ? Feb 13, 2020 08:36

Ms Adequate: Oct 30, 2011; Baby even when I'm dead and gone
You will always be my only one, my only one
When the night is calling
No matter who I become
You will always be my only one, my only one, my only one
When the night is calling

ShaneMacGowansTeeth posted:

I have been fighting off a cold since last weekend and now, inevitably, I've given up and decided to take some time off to actually deal with it. It's not the worst I've had, but I think if I was to go into work today, I'd probably still be off work on Monday

Taking the time you need for your health is best! Stay warm and snug, drink plenty, relax with whatever you find fun and easy to do.

# ? Feb 13, 2020 08:44

ShaneMacGowansTeeth: May 22, 2007; I think this is it... I think this is how it ends

Ms Adequate posted:

Taking the time you need for your health is best! Stay warm and snug, drink plenty, relax with whatever you find fun and easy to do.

Right now I'm waiting for the pharmacy to open so I can get more lemsip and lockets. But this cold has been weird because it's been hovering since last Friday, settling in for a few hours then going away and usually with colds, I can feel it start and ramp up for 24 hours before I go "gently caress this, I'm taking two days off work" so I'd rather take today off and nip it in the bud so I'm not feeling miserable for the whole weekend

# ? Feb 13, 2020 09:08

His Divine Shadow: Aug 7, 2000; I'm not a fascist. I'm a priest. Fascists dress up in black and tell people what to do.

I see the question was answered pretty well already so I will just link to a youtube video.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dAqAqODmcj4&t=1461s

EDIT: Whoops! Meant to go in DIY :downs:

His Divine Shadow fucked around with this message at 10:22 on Feb 13, 2020

# ? Feb 13, 2020 09:24

Guavanaut: Nov 27, 2009; Looking At Them Tittys
1969 - 1998; Toilet Rascal

Not content with illegal deportations to states where people may at least have a claim to live, or making people stateless in extreme circumstances (like the Sun doesn't like them), the UK is just making people on holiday stateless now.

# ? Feb 13, 2020 10:05

forkboy84: Jun 13, 2012; Corgis love bread. And Puro

Boris has sacked the first NI Secretary not long after Stormont got back up & running. Because protecting British troops wot dun warcrimes is more important than getting justice for British citizens I guess.

# ? Feb 13, 2020 10:42

Debbie Does Dagon: Jul 8, 2005

Bundy posted:

Personally I was disappointed nothing was mentioned of the Welsh being so sick of Llewelyn's rule by the time Eddie First turned up that many surrendered immediately.

And lo the Cymry guard laid down their arms, and many hearts and minds were won that day. And the good people were heard to cry "We welcome you new feudal Lords as liberators!" Ushering in a thousand year of peace

# ? Feb 13, 2020 10:43

radmonger: Jun 6, 2011

Chucat posted:

How do you get through to voters that are so badly informed and incurious they literally thought Labour was in government for the last 5 years, they think Brexit is going to massively improve their lives, and they voted Boris Johnson because they voted for "change"? Do you literally just get Momentum people to float around them like Jiminy Crickett for the better part of a decade going "No, that's bullshit, no, this guy is the prime minister, no, this is how an election

Reaching those people is what you would need to do to get your vote share above 85% or so. Which is not the task at hand.

There are two groups of people that reality-based arguments work on. One is prosperous people with the energy and capability to properly evaluate arguments. These are your middle class leftists.

But the other one is people with reality-based problems. Everyone is a world-class expert in their own life. And if a world class expert is unable to see how your theory matches what they know, you need a better theory..

If instead you target prosperous people with bad solutions to imaginary problems, you don�t get that double effect, and in fact any reality based argument will only piss off one group of the other. This is called Liberalism.

# ? Feb 13, 2020 10:59

Microplastics: Jul 6, 2007; It's what's for dinner.

Guavanaut posted:

Not content with illegal deportations to states where people may at least have a claim to live, or making people stateless in extreme circumstances (like the Sun doesn't like them), the UK is just making people on holiday stateless now.

The Home Office is just the absolute worst.

# ? Feb 13, 2020 11:02

crispix: Mar 28, 2015; Grand-Maman m'a raconté
_{(Les éditions des amitiés franco-québécoises)}

Hello, dear

Fumble posted:

There was a story the other day about a lady that "rolled over in bed" and managed to get her vibrating necklace stuck horizontally in her bladder.

Was this in Take a Break?

Also just great to see Bojo sacking the first half competent Tory NI secretary in decades. He probably told Cummings to gently caress off or something.

# ? Feb 13, 2020 11:10

Flipswitch: Mar 30, 2010

Jaeluni Asjil posted:

I used to enjoy being a chambermaid - when I left school before starting uni and again while doing weekend jobs to boost my pathetic income from my office job in my 20s.
You go into a (sortable) mess, work alone and in your own way so long as you reach the agreed end point of the layout of the room, and 10-20 minutes later come out with a satisfyingly tidy room. Something very satisfying about a job where you do your time, don't, can't, take work home with you and can forget about it until the next day.

One thing I always stress to my staff is they should not take their work home with them or to worry about work immediately outside of their job role, that's my job as the boss to deal with that stuff - I haaaate the pressure lovely bosses put on people.

# ? Feb 13, 2020 11:12

Jaeluni Asjil: Apr 18, 2018; Sorry I thought you were a landlord when I gave you your old avatar!

Johnson doing a cabinet reshuffle today.
Remember when Corbyn did a Shadow Cabinet reshuffle and the headlines were all 'Corbyn and the left tighten iron grip on party by expelling all who disagree with him'?

Strangely, not seeing headlines like that about Johnson.

# ? Feb 13, 2020 11:39

thespaceinvader: Mar 30, 2011; The slightest touch from a Gol-Shogeg will result in Instant Death!

Chucat posted:

Maybe I'm sort of projecting on his question here, but I think he's getting at:

How do you get through to voters that are so badly informed and incurious they literally thought Labour was in government for the last 5 years, they think Brexit is going to massively improve their lives, and they voted Boris Johnson because they voted for "change"? Do you literally just get Momentum people to float around them like Jiminy Crickett for the better part of a decade going "No, that's bullshit, no, this guy is the prime minister, no, this is how an election works."

Like look at the guy who posted in this thread less than 24 hours ago, that guy was lucky enough to pay 10 dollars, come here and ask these questions, and even he's doubling down on his lack of information. And that's literally the most favorable scenario.

It's this, for the record.

The theory is all well and good, but unless we;re ltierally in their ears and eyes every second of every day, we don't have the time to change minds. Changing minds takes years of concerted effort, not the couple of hours we're likely to actually get during an election period.

We miss, as political wonk types, the fact that not everyone cares as much as we do. Not everyone THINKS as much as we do.

So unless one is prepared to spend every minute of every day aggressively proselytising in marginal constituencies, and can somehow do that without just annoying people, I'm not sure how that message reaches the minds of the people it needs to reach.

Because it would be nice to persuade the politically active centrists and conservatives that they're ultimately harming themselves, but the politically active centrists and conservatives aren't the ones who lost us the last four elections.

# ? Feb 13, 2020 12:07

Bobby Deluxe: May 9, 2004

Chucat posted:

Maybe I'm sort of projecting on his question here, but I think he's getting at:

How do you get through to voters that are so badly informed and incurious they literally thought Labour was in government for the last 5 years, they think Brexit is going to massively improve their lives, and they voted Boris Johnson because they voted for "change"?

Like Owl said, you write like a tabloid, you make your message accessable. And that's hard for middle class, university educated centrists and leftists to do.

We're trained to puff out ideas into 10k words of florid prose and impenetrable research to inflate our grades, whereas the pieces that make their way through to people like my dad (slipping into the wrong side of the class war day by day) are ones written in direct statements, short and concise, using emotive language.

We're taught not to use things like alliteration, but the other side got everyone talking (even ironically) about Bunging a Bob to Boris for Big Ben to Bong for Brexit.

This isn't about saying they're stupid, it's about saying they're normal. Their brains haven't been broken into writing explorations of the issues surrounding an idea, they just write the goddamn idea.

People's attention spans tend to last about 750 words for an internet article, which makes a Rod Liddle or Richard Littlejohn column far more likely to penetrate than a 2500 word medium.com piece carefully laying out all the issues and leaving the decision to you, [bane voice] the people.

Clarkson gets a huge readership not because he uses some kind of idiocy hoodoo to trick people, he does it by saying "I don't think climate change is real" where a hundred guardian columnists are writing meandering puff pieces about driving their kids to school which somehow come to absolutely no conclusion at all.

And again, this goes back to Corbyn's language becoming more evasive and rhetorical towards the election, being led away from the very thing that connected him to people. People are making a huge deal about Sanders in the US answering the question of if he told Warren a woman couldn't be president by straight up saying 'No.' Towards the end of the campaign, Corbyn's responses were slipping more and more into "Look, [brain instantly turns off after years of hearing this as politician for 'I'm going to fluff my way out of this]."

But I mean to directly answer your question of how? gently caress knows. It'd require a culture change in centre-left media. Start a lefty tabloid, start running guardian pieces through something like the Hemingway App, stop paying the various Corens by the word. Move Labour central office out of London and the influence of PR wankers.

# ? Feb 13, 2020 12:21

Gyro Zeppeli: Jul 19, 2012; sure hope no-one throws me off a bridge

I'd honestly like to be a chambermaid or a janitor. Cleaning is already my mental coping mechanism, so getting paid to do it would just be a bonus.

Plus, yeah, having a job that ends the moment your shift is done is excellent. No emails being sent home asking you to just finish this task off ASAP.

# ? Feb 13, 2020 12:29

ukle: Nov 28, 2005

Jaeluni Asjil posted:

Johnson doing a cabinet reshuffle today.
Remember when Corbyn did a Shadow Cabinet reshuffle and the headlines were all 'Corbyn and the left tighten iron grip on party by expelling all who disagree with him'?

Strangely, not seeing headlines like that about Johnson.

There has kind of been the same from less biased sources. E.g. Reuters - https://uk.reuters.com/article/uk-britain-politics-smith/johnson-sacks-minister-who-restored-northern-ireland-power-sharing-idUKKBN20713T

quote:

Prime Minister Boris Johnson sacks the minister who helped end three years of political stalemate in Northern Ireland, prompting criticism that Johnson is indifferent to the fate of the province.

Expect the tory rags to be praising his sacking though, given he was the first good Northern Irish Secretary for a long while.

ukle fucked around with this message at 12:35 on Feb 13, 2020

# ? Feb 13, 2020 12:31

sebzilla: Mar 17, 2009; Kid's blasting everything in sight with that new-fangled musket.

Apparently my CLP nominated Starmer and RAK last night. Bleh.

# ? Feb 13, 2020 12:32

Ratjaculation: Aug 3, 2007

Gyro Zeppeli posted:

I'd honestly like to be a chambermaid or a janitor. Cleaning is already my mental coping mechanism, so getting paid to do it would just be a bonus.

Plus, yeah, having a job that ends the moment your shift is done is excellent. No emails being sent home asking you to just finish this task off ASAP.

Become an independent cleaner, my friend does it with her sister and they make a massive amount

# ? Feb 13, 2020 12:33

Jedit: Dec 10, 2011; Proudly supporting vanilla legends 1994-2014

Darth Walrus posted:

https://twitter.com/alexwickham/status/1227646725147578368?s=21

lol

It will warm your heart to hear that Anglian Water have not only just lost the Scottish Local Authorities water account (which is worth an eight figure amount of money per annum) a year early, but were also told not to bother submitting a tender for the new round of procurement.

# ? Feb 13, 2020 12:37

sebzilla: Mar 17, 2009; Kid's blasting everything in sight with that new-fangled musket.

Ratjaculation posted:

Become an independent cleaner, my friend does it with her sister and they make a massive amount

I expect you can make even more if you do that Nude Cleaning Definitely Not A Sex Thing stuff

# ? Feb 13, 2020 12:39

Gyro Zeppeli: Jul 19, 2012; sure hope no-one throws me off a bridge

Trust me, if I were to do it, the more lucrative business would be Pay Me To Keep My Clothes On Cleaning.

# ? Feb 13, 2020 12:45

forkboy84: Jun 13, 2012; Corgis love bread. And Puro

Jedit posted:

It will warm your heart to hear that Anglian Water have not only just lost the Scottish Local Authorities water account (which is worth an eight figure amount of money per annum) a year early, but were also told not to bother submitting a tender for the new round of procurement.

PM Nandy will send in the troops to crush the rebellious Scots stopping good honest companies.

# ? Feb 13, 2020 12:46

Jaeluni Asjil: Apr 18, 2018; Sorry I thought you were a landlord when I gave you your old avatar!

sebzilla posted:

Apparently my CLP nominated Starmer and RAK last night. Bleh.

Same as mine a few days ago. I had quite honestly totally forgotten about RAK and the other chap. Murray?

# ? Feb 13, 2020 12:46

Chucat: Apr 14, 2006

Bobby Deluxe posted:

But I mean to directly answer your question of how? gently caress knows. It'd require a culture change in centre-left media. Start a lefty tabloid, start running guardian pieces through something like the Hemingway App, stop paying the various Corens by the word. Move Labour central office out of London and the influence of PR wankers.

There is a lefty tabloid, the morning star, no one loving buys it (and that's independent of it being a terf rag).

The entire point is you can't make people just read this stuff, they're incurious, that's the point. You're trying to break constant bombardment on a subliminal (glancing at tabloids) and a blatant (watching BBC News, watching This Morning) level by going "Yeah hope they read a lefty tabloid where we use the small words and they have a Damascene conversion"

# ? Feb 13, 2020 12:49

Microplastics: Jul 6, 2007; It's what's for dinner.

Gyro Zeppeli posted:

I'd honestly like to be a chambermaid or a janitor. Cleaning is already my mental coping mechanism, so getting paid to do it would just be a bonus.

Plus, yeah, having a job that ends the moment your shift is done is excellent. No emails being sent home asking you to just finish this task off ASAP.

There are times i miss having a job like this, like when i worked retail or managed a warehouse, and just did routine work. The job i have now is very much of the "creative thinking" kind, which is great when I'm in the mood for it, but if I'm not (and I'm not at the moment), i find myself unable to do the work and it fills me with anxiety.

I get paid a *lot* for my current role so i can't complain too much, but if there was a routine job going in my company and it paid less I'd be very very tempted. The thought of switching companies though is terrifying, so I feel a bit limited by what becomes available here

# ? Feb 13, 2020 12:51

Guavanaut: Nov 27, 2009; Looking At Them Tittys
1969 - 1998; Toilet Rascal

Bobby Deluxe posted:

People's attention spans tend to last about 750 words for an internet article, which makes a Rod Liddle or Richard Littlejohn column far more likely to penetrate than a 2500 word medium.com piece carefully laying out all the issues and leaving the decision to you, [bane voice] the people.

Clarkson gets a huge readership not because he uses some kind of idiocy hoodoo to trick people, he does it by saying "I don't think climate change is real" where a hundred guardian columnists are writing meandering puff pieces about driving their kids to school which somehow come to absolutely no conclusion at all.

And again, this goes back to Corbyn's language becoming more evasive and rhetorical towards the election, being led away from the very thing that connected him to people. People are making a huge deal about Sanders in the US answering the question of if he told Warren a woman couldn't be president by straight up saying 'No.' Towards the end of the campaign, Corbyn's responses were slipping more and more into "Look, [brain instantly turns off after years of hearing this as politician for 'I'm going to fluff my way out of this]."

But I mean to directly answer your question of how? gently caress knows. It'd require a culture change in centre-left media. Start a lefty tabloid, start running guardian pieces through something like the Hemingway App, stop paying the various Corens by the word. Move Labour central office out of London and the influence of PR wankers.

Corbyn definitely came off as more wooly and less angry in 2019 than 2017, which I think hurt him.

I like the lefty tabloid idea, but I think there's two big problems:
First, where the money comes from, but social media kinda helps that for folks like Another Angry Voice and Anniversary of the Miners' Strike.
Second, like that 10k words of florid prose and impenetrable research I linked earlier says, low effort thinking tends conservative.

That's not "conservatives are all stupid" but that it's a lot lot easier to get a regressive idea like "shouldn't have done the crime then if you didn't want deporting" into a simple article than to prove that systemic racism exists to someone who doesn't want to see it.

The only way I can think to shortcut that is outrage from the voices of the oppressed. Outrage is low effort thinking too. Which often happens by pure chance, like the Daily Mail editor's Black plasterer's cousin getting murdered. That tends to be highly individualistic in nature though, Stephen Lawrence was an individual tragedy by the Bad Racists but Mark Duggan was a thug. The only thing we can do is keep amplifying these individuals as simplistic 'bad thing happen' and hope people see the right pattern.

# ? Feb 13, 2020 12:51

The Question IRL: Jun 8, 2013; Only two contestants left! Here is Doom's chance for revenge...

ukle posted:

There has kind of been the same from less biased sources. E.g. Reuters - https://uk.reuters.com/article/uk-britain-politics-smith/johnson-sacks-minister-who-restored-northern-ireland-power-sharing-idUKKBN20713T

Expect the tory rags to be praising his sacking though, given he was the first good Northern Irish Secretary for a long while.

Seems fairly clear cut. Smith managed to help broker a deal to restore Stormont but because he wouldn't go down Borris preferred line that soldiers aren't prosecuted for historic offences* he gets fired.
I fully expect No. 10 will appoint someone who is most likely English and will say horribly offensive stuff about Ireland and Northern Ireland like many of the previous Tory NI ministers.

* = Boris seems to hate the idea of any people being prosecuted for any historic offenses of any sort. I wonder why?

https://www.theguardian.com/politics/video/2019/mar/13/boris-johnson-says-investigating-historic-child-abuse-a-waste-of-money-video

# ? Feb 13, 2020 12:53

stev: Jan 22, 2013; Please be excited.

Apparently Javid's gone. This is good for Corbyn.

# ? Feb 13, 2020 12:55

Jaeluni Asjil: Apr 18, 2018; Sorry I thought you were a landlord when I gave you your old avatar!

Lefty tabloid:

There's this

http://www.thewordmedia.co.uk/

which some folk in a pro-Corbyn FB group I used to be on started.

I've never read it.

There was a print version but seems like they've struggled with that so I'm not too sure if that's still available.
I just had a look a the content on the Media tab and two videos with Piers Corbyn on Climate Change (which I haven't watched, but I know he's a 'denier').

This is an 'about' http://www.thewordmedia.co.uk/news-of-the-word/4594584184

# ? Feb 13, 2020 12:55

moostaffa: Apr 2, 2008; People always ask me about Toad, It's fantastic. Let me tell you about Toad. I do very well with Toad. I love Toad. No one loves Toad more than me, BELIEVE ME. Toad loves me. I have the best Toad.

RIP eggman

# ? Feb 13, 2020 12:56

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# ? May 24, 2024 18:09

Chucat: Apr 14, 2006

I mean yeah you could go the Evangelical Christian route and run shelters and stuff and just preach a left-wing message to captive audiences, but then the odds of them just switching off and tuning out and then voting Tory again anyway is probably there, that and I'm 99% sure this is verging on criminal activity (in a boring way).

# ? Feb 13, 2020 12:57

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Debate & Discussion > UKMT February 2020 - horny for shepherdess feet

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