Zil posted:

Like this?

BOOTY-ADE posted:

ALLAHU SNAKBARS

BOOTY-ADE posted:

ALLAHU SNAKBARS

mrfart posted:

Very mildly
https://i.imgur.com/0L8Jkuy.gif

JacquelineDempsey posted:

Anyone got that one for mashed potatoes that's a parody of this? Story goes on and on and then it's just "boil a potato. mash. maybe add a salt" or something like that.

JacquelineDempsey posted:

Anyone got that one for mashed potatoes that's a parody of this? Story goes on and on and then it's just "boil a potato. mash. maybe add a salt" or something like that.

JacquelineDempsey posted:

Anyone got that one for mashed potatoes that's a parody of this? Story goes on and on and then it's just "boil a potato. mash. maybe add a salt" or something like that.

Platystemon posted:

anatomi posted:

I don't get it.

biracial bear for uncut posted:

This isn't a yellow highlighter?!

Lodin posted:

Well I for one am now trying to figure out how to hollow out an apple. An apple with mashed taters would be awesome with some grilled meat and various veggies.

jojoinnit posted:

They make an apple corer that you should be able to find anywhere. And yes, an apple can be baked into a main dish that pairs well with most meats.

jojoinnit posted:

They make an apple corer that you should be able to find anywhere. And yes, an apple can be baked into a main dish that pairs well with most meats.

RareAcumen posted:

Yes. and also a dumb one

quote:

CREAMY PISTACHIO CARDAMOM HORCHATA & A LETTER TO GRADS
June 19, 2018 By Asha Shivakumar

Insanely rich and creamy. This is the best creamy pistachio cardamom horchata you’ll ever make. Spiked with some rum or served on some ice, it’s the perfect summer dessert or drink for parties.

The Best Creamy Pistachio Cardamom Horchata |foodfashionparty| #horchata #mexicanhorchataWe reached a milestone last week. My teen graduated from high school!

It is jarring to find out that he is an adult. A few of our friends’ kids, who we cradled in our arms, are now beautiful grown men and women, graduating high school. Gone are the days of Wii games and children’s books, and now comes the time where we ask them what they’d like to take to their dorm. A toaster maybe, or an instant pot.

As much as it is a jolt for parents, it must be even more so for the kids to realize that they will be on their own from now on.

‘Tis the day! He wakes up with butterflies in his stomach, taking more than normal to clean up for the big day. Clean shaven, gelled hair, a beautiful blue tie, shiny shoes. He walks down with a proud and relieved look. Draped in his polyester white gown and the tasseled hat ready to be tossed into the air…

We sit in the podium, looking at blue and white hats, and rows and rows of kids who look like mini dice. Not knowing what their future holds for them, but glad that they are here. Names are being called, and it goes on. After an hour, we get to hug the proud young man. Smiles are flying everywhere.

While I’ll never be able to understand what it felt like to sit there and how they felt when they went up the podium, I do know one thing. I’ll pen my thoughts for the new generation.

My dear boy and other high school graduates,

You’ll hear this often. This is the commencement, a changing point in your life.

Life started when you flipped for the first time, you thought your life was suddenly upside down. When you started walking, you learned that there was a faster way to approach things. One day you were dropped off with strangers, some you liked and some whom you were scared of. You learned to adjust, making friends with ones you liked. Like blooming flowers, you were suddenly on your own, working harder than ever, in middle school. You had to juggle drama, speech and debate, math competitions and school work. Life felt very tough, but fun. You loved it, you enjoyed. High school felt like a whole other ball game. There was so much to think, worry, finish, focus, and stay sane. You stood tall in situations that made you uncomfortable. You survived when you were ready to give up.

So, it’s not your beginning. You began your life’s journey long back.

You cried when your first fish “Matt” left us. Crying yourself to sleep. You learned life’s tough lesson.

When you had to share your mom and dad with another human, you were the best. You carried your brother, loved him like no other. Caring had taken a new meaning. You had someone you would show off to your friends. Learning to share and learning to give. While the little brother would beat you in basketball and boast about it, you learned how to accept his positives and see what you were good at. The times when your brother takes center stage at your birthday party, you smile like a proud brother. You learned to love unconditionally.

When your best friend completely stopped any connection with you, you learned when to let go. When your family had many ups and downs, you supported all of us. When it all felt overwhelming, you shed tears and learned how to step back, and let other people learn to deal with their own issues.

You have learned a lot.

When you struggled, you had your best friend to listen to you, hug you, and love you for who you are. You believed in miracles. You have made choices, shed tears, laughed loudly. And turned a tomato red. You have hiccuped. Your eyes lit up when you thought you fell for someone.

And so, my prayers and hopes are that you grow more, experience more. Experience life’s miracles, and also its obnoxious ways of telling you how rude it can be.

I hope you learn how to make your bed, and get up on time for breakfast. I hope you don’t forget to eat dinner and wake up at midnight, only to warm some water for ramen. Hope you take care of your health. I hope you find good deals on a good futon instead of just deciding to sit on the floor. When it’s time for a haircut, I hope you go to a barber and get yourself to look decent. Find a nice girl for yourself . I hope you see more and more happiness than loss and sadness. May you work hard to achieve what you want. Have goals. I hope you can finish the book you started. May you read more, may you learn more. I hope your obsession for Mariah Carey and Beyonce doesn’t drive your roommates crazy . Go dance like there’s no tomorrow.

I’d love for you to travel with your friends. Bathe in the Iceland waterfalls, stay in an RV, go backpacking. I hope you travel the world and explore all the different cultures. I hope you realize that life’s about growing and learning, not only in college. I’d love to see pictures of you in the fields of Thailand, helping the needy in Nepal, hike the mountains of Peru (at least try>>).

Be kind to your family. Please call your grandparents. Try to answer in more than one syllable, please. I hope you stay humble and lovable always.

Most of all, lock your eyes on your future and never let go of where you came from. Don’t dare to be ordinary. And never blame or be hard on yourself. Forgive, and move on.

Remember life is a big lesson. You crawled, walked and learned to talk. That’s huge. Life is a miracle. Live it.

Congratulations!!

Be the person you are. Always.

The Best Creamy Pistachio Cardamom Horchata |foodfashionparty| #horchata #mexicanhorchata

Like this drink, life is not always what it seems.


[...]

anatomi posted:

I don't get it.

anatomi posted:

I don't get it.

morallyobjected posted:

CREAMY PISTACHIO CARDAMOM HORCHATA sounds like a wonderful way to loving ruin some horchata

jojoinnit posted:

quote:

There. The novelizer, Mr. David Bischoff, Esq., has been successfully waylaid and is now tied up in the bathroom of his Los Angeles apartment.Do not attempt to adjust your book.We have control of the programming.Please excuse the rudeness. You have previously known me as the "Gremlin that drank the brain fluid" - or, as Bischoff quaintly called me, Mr. Glasses. Believe it or not, in the screenplay, I am referred to as BRAIN GREMLIN.I want to take this opportunity to talk to you about our philosophy toward life, so that we will not be misunderstood and branded as "monsters."Yes, but faithful novel readers, I do not intend to cheat you. In the movie presentation, Gremlins take over the movie theater (ah, what a delicious conceit - excellent, Joe - was that you?) and Hulk Hogan comes to the rescue.I do believe that Kenneth Tobey of THE THING is somewhere in there.However, let us deal with more intellectual matters.In the great paradigm of anti-intellectualism that is the vast American untermenchen, there needs to be a seismic quake of thought, a veritable avalanche of anarchy, to wake you somnambulent beings from your couch-potato torpor.May I offer you the services of we Gremlins. You may hereafter refer to us as the New Capitalist Democratic Nice Folks.Already our numbers are spreading out from the heart of America to aid you in this endeavor and although you may be viewing this physically for the first time now (except for those lucky citizens of Kingston Falls who received a foreshadow some years ago) our intellectual forces have been at work for some time, albeit embodied in human form.According to my contacts with our crypto-CD's the Church of SubGenius it is generally not know, for instance, that the entirety of network television is programmed by proto-Capitalist Democrats.However, the past is merely prologue, introduction, forward, with some long footnotes thrown in.Our time is now!So, my dear readers (oh, the few, the chosen literate who have been intelligent enough to purchase this volume) prepare for a New Age of the New Capitalist Demo -Oh dear. Mr. Bischoff seems to have successfully axed his way out of the bathroom.Methinks I need to fly and return this temporarily liberated keyboard to his suburb, urbane and witty prose -Back I fly to the Clamp Cent...

chitoryu12 posted:

tight aspirations posted:

No better way to say you're over the tragic murder of your late husband than by wearing one of his progeny as a fashion accessory.

jojoinnit posted:

Who is she and was she married to a lobster or crawfish? (I don't know my seafoods)

Bloody Hedgehog posted:

It was the Summer of '76, Americans Bicentennial. I'd had my fist in so many vaginas that summer, I was starting to get a yeast infection under my fingernails. As I traveled this land, following the winds of change and freedom, I thought a life a loving and sucking was all I'd ever need. Little did I know all that was to change, when someone new strolled into my life. That person was Fred Doobie, one of the original Doobie Brothers. Fred showed me there was more to life than rimming a crusty b-hole, more than just deep-dicking coeds by dozen. There was art, and poetry, and responsibility, and of course... potatoes.


Mashed Doobie Spuds

- 1 to 37 potatoes
- Water

Combine water and potatoes, bring to a boil. Mash 'em, and then eat 'em, gently caress, I don't know.

Breetai posted:

That's impressive, but the crown goes to the equivalent of the gremlins-take-over-the-movie-and-are-scared-off-by-hulk-hogan scene in the Gremlins 2 novelisation.

chitoryu12 posted:

Pissed Ape Sexist posted:

Not WORM
Your GIRL

*what sins will she commit*