STAR TREK: Picard's Assimilated Balls

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Arc Hammer: Mar 4, 2013; Got any deathsticks?

infernal machines posted:

So it's you then?

Yes.

# ? Feb 24, 2020 00:57

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# ? Jun 5, 2024 05:51

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

Finally, we found the guy.

# ? Feb 24, 2020 00:59

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

infernal machines posted:

So it's you then?

# ? Feb 24, 2020 01:01

Ghostlight: Sep 25, 2009; maybe for one second you can pause; try to step into another person's perspective, and understand that a watermelon is cursing me

send in seal team six.

# ? Feb 24, 2020 01:25

piratepilates: Mar 28, 2004; So I will learn to live with it. Because I can live with it. I can live with it.

infernal machines posted:

So it's you then?

simply well done.

# ? Feb 24, 2020 01:35

Xenocides: Jan 14, 2008; This world looks very scary....

Mulaney Power Move posted:

A woman offers to blow Wesley in that episode and he says he's not ready so I am not buying Gene saw Wesley as a stand in for his younger self

Perhaps the original draft was....different?

# ? Feb 24, 2020 07:05

Xenocides: Jan 14, 2008; This world looks very scary....

infernal machines posted:

Finally, we found the guy.

I don't see Garak.

# ? Feb 24, 2020 07:06

Farmer Crack-Ass: Jan 2, 2001; this is me posting irl

Mulaney Power Move posted:

A woman offers to blow Wesley in that episode and he says he's not ready so I am not buying Gene saw Wesley as a stand in for his younger self

It's entirely possible that line got past when Gene was on a pill bender or something, dude was poppin' harder than Rush Limbaugh by that point.

# ? Feb 24, 2020 07:40

Erulisse: Feb 12, 2019; A bad poster trying to get better.

Mulaney Power Move posted:

A woman offers to blow Wesley in that episode and he says he's not ready so I am not buying Gene saw Wesley as a stand in for his younger self

Perhaps he saw himself as pure

# ? Feb 24, 2020 09:12

mediaphage: Mar 22, 2007; Excuse me, pardon me, sheer perfection coming through

Xenocides posted:

I don't see Garak.

And you never will, until it�s too late.

# ? Feb 24, 2020 12:52

Lord Ludikrous: Jun 7, 2008; Enjoy your tea...

1x18 - Home Soil

So the leader of this outpost is acting very evasive and suspicious, luckily we've got Counsellor Obvious to let us know that hes hiding something.
A man gets murdered and it turns out that the planet they thought was lifeless is actually populated by a race of sentient LEDs.
uGLy BaGS of MoSTly WAtEr
The LEDs are understandably annoyed at the terraformers not understanding their attempts to communicate and destroying their life form - the death of one of the researchers being a regrettable event in self defence. The terraforming is stopped immediately and the LEDs ask the Federation to gently caress off and come back within 300 years. This places them as one of the most reasonable aliens they've encountered so far to be honest.
As with a lot of things on the show so far its an interesting concept - a form of life that is totally unlike anything we can comprehend. The question is whether this can carry a plot for an entire episode?
No, it cannot. I feel this would've worked much better as the B plot to another story.

1x19 - Coming of Age

Well hello what have we here? The start of a story arc with actual continuity? Brave new territory and amazing that ol' Rick Berman didn't have an anuerysm.
Remmick goes about his duties by being a massive antagonistic rude prick. I can't help but think if you want people to open up and tell you things you'll do much better if they actually feel comfortable around you.
This story also makes use of the A plot/B plot format that would become the norm as the series goes on, and its clear to see why as it does work rather well.
The whole process of getting into Starfleet Academy just feels really off to me. In fact it makes the Federation as a whole seem really, really small.
Of the entire planet, only 4 people make it to the entrance exam for the academy and one of those wasn't even from the planet. Out of those 4, only one person actually makes it through the exam and to the Academy itself. The rest have to try again next year.
There's what, about 150 member worlds in the Federation? So each year Starfleet Academy gets an influx of 150 students. That...doesn't seem very much at all.
In fairness, throughout TOS and TNG Starfleet never comes across as being especially large given the size of the Federation. Especially when considering that the loss of 39 ships at Wolf 359 was a big loving deal.
TMP is arguably the worst offender for this kind of thing. An intruder is in Federation space on a direct course for Earth and you're honestly saying there is not one single starship anywhere along its path that can deal with it?
It wasn't really until DS9 where it was made clear that Starfleet has thousands upon thousands of ships and is only really spread thin on the frontier.
The tests they do are mostly incomprehensible. I get they're going for the "Starfleet is the best of the best" angle but aside from the last one it just feels like a lot of wooooooo rather than a realistic test of one's abilities.
Mordock is a neat alien and I dig the whole breathing apparatus. Makes aliens much more convincing than when they are just rude and have webbed fingers.
"Do you want this to get violent?" Go for it Wesley, you'll do just fine I'm sure.
Obviously there is nothing wrong on the Enterprise, but we are warned that something is out to destroy the Federation and their way of life. Ooooo I wonder what it could be? Whatever it is I hope it ends with a hilariously gruesome over the top death by phaser.

1x20 - Heart of Glory

Klingons!
We aren't going to use Jerry Goldsmith's klingon theme though, presumably due to some rights issues. But we will get very, very close at all times.
While they spend far too much time waffling over Geordi's vision while they're on a ship about to break apart, its neat to see exactly how Geordi sees and interprets things.
This must have been rather strange to watch when originally aired - klingons were still very much the antagonists at this point with the TOS movies.
We also get new insights into klingon culture, and the dissatisfaction amongst some klingons about losing their way is a theme that will continue all the way through DS9.
While Worf is obviously feeling a sense of conflict, it beggars loving belief that the klingons would admit that actually they destroyed a klingon cruiser sent to apprehend them, and Worf still shows them around key areas of the Enterprise.
I love how the first guard who engages the klingons once they escape the brig runs into the room so they can easily shoot him, instead of just staying behind cover until help arrives.
If the warp core is so fragile a single shot from a disruptor could destroy the entire ship in an instant then shouldn't it have some form of protection? Like a forcefield, or being behind a thick bulkhead that needs authorisation to open or something? Hell shouldn't somewhere as vital as engineering be a secured area rather than somewhere people can just wander into at will?
Fragility seems to be prevalent amongst Starfleet materials as when Korris falls forward after being shot he goes straight through the glass floor and falls to his death. Like he didnt fall from a great height and then went through the glass, he literally fell forward from the floor he was already standing on. I hope no one in engineering feels faint or blacks out on the glass.
There is a good story here but the episode is dragged down by characters doing really stupid things.
Also I�m really glad they went with Qo�Nos when ST6 came along. Kling is just...yeah.

# ? Feb 24, 2020 15:17

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

Please keep these up. I plan to use them to make a point sometime far in the future

# ? Feb 24, 2020 15:26

Neddy Seagoon: Oct 12, 2012; "Hi Everybody!"

Lord Ludikrous posted:

1x19 - Coming of Age

The whole process of getting into Starfleet Academy just feels really off to me. In fact it makes the Federation as a whole seem really, really small.

Of the entire planet, only 4 people make it to the entrance exam for the academy and one of those wasn't even from the planet. Out of those 4, only one person actually makes it through the exam and to the Academy itself. The rest have to try again next year.

I assumed the way to think of it was that that same process is currently playing out across dozens of planets, starships, and starbases across the Federation for probably about a few hundred slots in a class year on Earth. Relatively speaking, the odds of getting in on a galactic scale against hundreds of thousands (if not millions) of potential other candidates are slim.

# ? Feb 24, 2020 15:27

FlamingLiberal: Jan 18, 2009; Would you like to play a game?

Look, I�m just glad that Starfleet has decided that every cadet applicant needs to be horribly traumatized as a prerequisite to get into the Academy

# ? Feb 24, 2020 16:07

Danaru: Jun 5, 2012; 何 ??

FlamingLiberal posted:

Look, I’m just glad that Starfleet has decided that every cadet applicant needs to be horribly traumatized as a prerequisite to get into the Academy

Hell they dont stop there, remember when Troi had to murder a Geordi in order to become a command officer or whatever it was

# ? Feb 24, 2020 16:15

Arc Hammer: Mar 4, 2013; Got any deathsticks?

Speaking of Mordok, I watched A Matter of Honour last night where another Mordok alien is assigned to the Enterprise as an officer exchange. It's the one where Riker goes to pal around with the Klingons.

Not bad for a Season 2 episode, and the Klingons were fun. There's a hilarious shot when the Klingons are all sitting down to eat and talking with each other, then Riker tells a joke and it cuts to this wide show that shows about 15 people sitting at a couple tables in a giant fuckoff room like it's the Klingon version of The Last Meal.

# ? Feb 24, 2020 16:34

Gutcruncher: Apr 16, 2005; Go home and be a family man!

Danaru posted:

Hell they dont stop there, remember when Troi had to murder a Geordi in order to become a command officer or whatever it was

I like to imagine it�s the exact same simulation for every single commander in Starfleet. Everyone murdering geordie.

# ? Feb 24, 2020 16:51

GolfHole: Feb 26, 2004

*cheating on starfleet exam*

> computer launch commander test alpha

geordi, immediately launch yourself out the airlock. that's an order.

> computer end program

did i pass?

# ? Feb 24, 2020 16:54

Danaru: Jun 5, 2012; 何 ??

Now using something we call the Tube Skip, you can actually clip Geordi out of bounds and cause the holodeck to revert him back to coordinates 0,0,0 which is actually outside of the Enterprise, killing him instantly. The timing is really precise though and involves seamwalking through the door to the turbo lift so it's hard to do without a TAS

# ? Feb 24, 2020 16:58

Admiralty Flag: Jun 7, 2007; to ride eternal, shiny and chrome

THUNDERDOME LOSER 2022

FlamingLiberal posted:

Look, I�m just glad that Starfleet has decided that every cadet applicant needs to be horribly traumatized as a prerequisite to get into the Academy

It's never too early to start molding the admirals of tomorrow

# ? Feb 24, 2020 17:23

alexandriao: Jul 20, 2019

Ok so I finished watching 4x9 and I think there are only two Wesley Moments in there where he's an annoying little poo poo, they're both before The Cave. The shuttlecraft owner got on my nerves far more though.

# ? Feb 24, 2020 18:09

evilmiera: Dec 14, 2009; Status: Ravenously Rambunctious

Danaru posted:

Now using something we call the Tube Skip, you can actually clip Geordi out of bounds and cause the holodeck to revert him back to coordinates 0,0,0 which is actually outside of the Enterprise, killing him instantly. The timing is really precise though and involves seamwalking through the door to the turbo lift so it's hard to do without a TAS

Usually, when fighting a Borg cube boss, you need to gather up a party of at least 40 player ships, all with anti-borg weaponry and traits like "sense weakness". But here's an exploit I found: You can just confuse the boss AI with a single ship if you get your model to clip into two planes, while you fire off flares randomly.

That gives you just enough time to send in a pet shuttle, who pickpockets the boss (because it can no longer target you as an enemy and aggro). Because of a glitch in how loot is distributed, a pickpocket attempt always results in the loot table filling up with purple Picards or equivalent crewmembers. The moment you loot them and before they are healed of any damage, use their Sleep ability on the cube. That triggers an integer overflow in the cube's HP matrix and resets their health to zero or less, killing them instantly.

I know a lot of people claim this strat is bogus, but Sisko has seen me pull it off several times and he can assure you, it is real.

# ? Feb 24, 2020 18:10

alexandriao: Jul 20, 2019

Also I watched the Shut Up Wesley scene and I think that he's not as annoying there as people remember? Like his only mistake is not asking for a private audience with the captain to express his concerns, but to be fair as a Young Adult I wouldn't necessarily have known to do that either. I feel that the scene can be read two ways:

a) The captain is aware about Data and Wesley is loving up his plan

b) The captain isn't aware about Data but he's just pissed off with what he sees as insubordination

Wesley is right that the captain would have listened to any other crew member, but the other crew members would have expressed their concerns in private and followed proper protocol.

# ? Feb 24, 2020 18:15

Big Mean Jerk: Jan 27, 2009; Well, of course I know him.
He's me.

Arcsquad12 posted:

Speaking of Mordok, I watched A Matter of Honour last night where another Mordok alien is assigned to the Enterprise as an officer exchange. It's the one where Riker goes to pal around with the Klingons.

Not bad for a Season 2 episode, and the Klingons were fun. There's a hilarious shot when the Klingons are all sitting down to eat and talking with each other, then Riker tells a joke and it cuts to this wide show that shows about 15 people sitting at a couple tables in a giant fuckoff room like it's the Klingon version of The Last Meal.

A Matter of Honor owns, there�s lots of great character moments. That whole dinner scene is nice. You get some good jokes with Riker and the women, plus his talk with Brian Thompson afterward about his father�s dishonor.

# ? Feb 24, 2020 18:16

Admiralty Flag: Jun 7, 2007; to ride eternal, shiny and chrome

THUNDERDOME LOSER 2022

Big Mean Jerk posted:

A Matter of Honor owns, there�s lots of great character moments.

"You may test that assumption at your leisure."

# ? Feb 24, 2020 18:27

sweet geek swag: Mar 29, 2006; Adjust lasers to FUN!

GolfHole posted:

*cheating on starfleet exam*

> computer launch commander test alpha

geordi, immediately launch yourself out the airlock. that's an order.

> computer end program

did i pass?

This is the anti sexual harassment test.

So yes.

# ? Feb 24, 2020 19:06

McSpanky: Jan 16, 2005

infernal machines posted:

Please keep these up. I plan to use them to make a point sometime far in the future

You realize that by the very mention of it there's no way this incredible future post could possibly live up to the hype, might as well just come out with it.

# ? Feb 24, 2020 20:01

Eighties ZomCom: Sep 10, 2008

alexandriao posted:

Also I watched the Shut Up Wesley scene and I think that he's not as annoying there as people remember? Like his only mistake is not asking for a private audience with the captain to express his concerns, but to be fair as a Young Adult I wouldn't necessarily have known to do that either. I feel that the scene can be read two ways:

a) The captain is aware about Data and Wesley is loving up his plan

b) The captain isn't aware about Data but he's just pissed off with what he sees as insubordination

Wesley is right that the captain would have listened to any other crew member, but the other crew members would have expressed their concerns in private and followed proper protocol.

Picard becomes aware that Data and Lore did the ol' switcheroo when he gives him an order by saying Make It So and Lore is like :what:

# ? Feb 24, 2020 20:05

Fabulousity: Dec 29, 2008; Number One I order you to take a number two.

AntherUslessPoster posted:

Dukat's redemption was his death. Change my mind.

No, it was a few minutes before that when he killed Kai Winn. After that he was just a hollow prop to get Sisko out of his corporeal form.

# ? Feb 24, 2020 20:21

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

McSpanky posted:

You realize that by the very mention of it there's no way this incredible future post could possibly live up to the hype, might as well just come out with it.

I am going to quote a seven season long wall of text to demonstrate how nu-trek is absolute trash compared to the classics, as evidenced by the myriad stories and adventures of varying quality Lord Ludikrous experienced

# ? Feb 24, 2020 20:50

Xenocides: Jan 14, 2008; This world looks very scary....

FlamingLiberal posted:

Look, I�m just glad that Starfleet has decided that every cadet applicant needs to be horribly traumatized as a prerequisite to get into the Academy

Then realize that Reginald Barclay somehow passed that test.

# ? Feb 24, 2020 21:00

Admiralty Flag: Jun 7, 2007; to ride eternal, shiny and chrome

THUNDERDOME LOSER 2022

Xenocides posted:

Then realize that Reginald Barclay somehow passed that test.

I figure he�s got to be a legacy. There�s a high-ranking Admiral Barclay who�s a member of Space Skull & Bones around somewhere who knows his son is extraordinary but just can�t understand why

# ? Feb 24, 2020 21:36

Gutcruncher: Apr 16, 2005; Go home and be a family man!

I like when Lore accidentally using a contraction is what confirmed Wesleys suspicions and then after they beam Lore into space Data shows up and uses a contraction.

That�s right, they beamed the wrong android out.

# ? Feb 24, 2020 21:38

Bogus Adventure: Jan 11, 2017; More like "Bulges Adventure"

Home Soil rules, and it's an episode that is still loving timely given how much we're loving up the environment to build Starbucks and Chik-fil-As.

# ? Feb 24, 2020 21:42

Ralph Crammed In: May 11, 2007; Let's get clean and smart

Disappointed with Picard, I wanted a new to me Star Trek so I started Voyager - I've only ever seen TNG and TOS and some DS9 before this. I watched the episode last night where Paris makes out with a feather wigged femme fatal on planet Film Noir.

My husband and I couldn't stop laughing at this motherfucker right here.

I've lurked this thread on and off for a while and I get that Voyager isn't a favorite but coming hot off Picard it's a masterpiece of joy.

# ? Feb 24, 2020 21:48

Xenocides: Jan 14, 2008; This world looks very scary....

I like the Picard show.

# ? Feb 24, 2020 21:51

Bogus Adventure: Jan 11, 2017; More like "Bulges Adventure"

Ralph Crammed In posted:

Disappointed with Picard, I wanted a new to me Star Trek so I started Voyager - I've only ever seen TNG and TOS and some DS9 before this. I watched the episode last night where Paris makes out with a feather wigged femme fatal on planet Film Noir.

My husband and I couldn't stop laughing at this motherfucker right here.

I've lurked this thread on and off for a while and I get that Voyager isn't a favorite but coming hot off Picard it's a masterpiece of joy.

lmao, look at that dude's head

I'll grant this to Voyager: They did come up with some really cool alien designs. Species 8472, the Vidiians, and the one alien that could inflate it's nostrils/air sacs.

# ? Feb 24, 2020 22:11

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

Species 8472 look like something out of Babylon 5. At least they're not "guy with a forehead prosthetic", but I think they may have been a little to quick to jump on the all CGI train

# ? Feb 24, 2020 22:17

mediaphage: Mar 22, 2007; Excuse me, pardon me, sheer perfection coming through

One of the things that is noticeable about voyager that my SO and I discuss when it�s on: I�m pretty sure this is the first trek where they had access to big HDTVs to use as set design and it�s super obvious. Not that I can blame them; I can�t imagine how frustrating it would be to constantly have to make acrylic pieces to go over lights to make science.

# ? Feb 24, 2020 22:17

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# ? Jun 5, 2024 05:51

CaptainSkinny: Apr 22, 2011; You get it?
No.

Xenocides posted:

Then realize that Reginald Barclay somehow passed that test.

Maybe he was normal when applying and the test really hosed him up.

# ? Feb 24, 2020 22:21

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