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Klyith
Aug 3, 2007

GBS Pledge Week
my first car was a toyota corolla that my family had owned since just after I was born and I drove until I was about 25

I finally scrapped it because some rear end in a top hat threw a beer bottle through the back window. Getting new glass was near-impossible, and one of my mom's co-workers was offering a nice deal on a used car that had all its glass. And airbags. And wasn't RWD in a state with snow.


I drat near cried for real when I put that trusty old car on the truck to be taken away.

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Arrhythmia
Jul 22, 2011

Klyith posted:

my first car was a toyota corolla that my family had owned since just after I was born and I drove until I was about 25

I finally scrapped it because some rear end in a top hat threw a beer bottle through the back window. Getting new glass was near-impossible, and one of my mom's co-workers was offering a nice deal on a used car that had all its glass. And airbags. And wasn't RWD in a state with snow.


I drat near cried for real when I put that trusty old car on the truck to be taken away.

Threw away a corolla halfway through its natural life span. Tragic.

The Cubelodyte
Sep 1, 2006

Practicing Hypnolaw since 1990
Grimey Drawer
I couldn’t afford to fix you and there was no way you’d pass the smog test with your guts corroded out like that, but you ran anyway; you wouldn’t quit, and I still admire you for that. We had some good times together and I still think about the little pitchfork you wore on the end of your antenna. Hopefully you weren’t crushed into a cube but honestly I haven’t seen any 1980 Chevettes anywhere for decades. Are you a ghost? Godspeed, my li’l blue devil.

ScRoTo TuRbOtUrD
Jan 21, 2007

난 당신이 너무 싫어. 당신의 사정을 기억합니다. 나는 아무런 후회가 없다. 당신은 나에게 엄청난 부담이었습니다. 맥아더는 한국에서 퇴각 했어야했다, 따라서 당신은 결코 건설되지 않았을 것입니다

Cerebral Mayhem
Jul 18, 2000

Very useful on the planet Delphon, where they communicate with their eyebrows
My Dad named you "Dummy" because it was a dumb thing to do, saving you from the junkyard for $25. He rebuilt your engine and got you running anyway, and you were actually reliable. I took my driving test with you, and you were my main transportation while I was in high school. You were so ugly and lovely looking, that you ended up being cool in a perverse sort of way. I could actually turn the key in the ignition, start you, and pull the key back out and you would keep running. But god, you were a deathtrap, I'm so lucky to have never been in an accident. You were so old, you didn't have seatbelts or headrests. You were underpowered, and had a 6 volt electrical system so I couldn't put a proper car stereo into you. Nevertheless, it was fun driving you, Dummy. I know you must have ended up being junked a long time ago, though.

1965 mostly blue Volkswagen Beetle

Dr. Quarex
Apr 18, 2003

I'M A BIG DORK WHO POSTS TOO MUCH ABOUT CONVENTIONS LOOK AT THIS

TOVA TOVA TOVA
Hey buddy! I know, am sorry, I had no idea that lock de-icer was going to break off in your door. Yes, even then I appreciated the irony of a de-icer removing ice but leaving the lock disabled. Yes I am pretty sure that really is irony

Yeah, you heard right; they did indeed stop making the Crown Victoria not long afterward. Yeah, I started driving a Grand Marquis after you. Yeah, those were gone before long too. Then it was an Impala and a Taurus and...

My...

My god... It has been you all along. YOU ended the production of every other car model I have driven, out of jealousy!!! I NEVER WANTED TO STOP DRIVING YOU, MY PARENTS THOUGHT YOU WERE TRYING TO KILL ME

hot cocoa on the couch
Dec 8, 2009

I'm sorry I let my exwife crash you, 2007 base model blue Honda Civic DX. Despite being an underpowered econobox, you were loads of fun to drive, taught me the joys of manual, racing, breaking and fixing cars. I'm sorry you had to go so early and young, a scant 327,000km on the clock :(

Hatsune Mike
Oct 9, 2013

Remember when we’d go out on the iced over college parking lot and do hard turns, spinning around like crazy? Yeah fun times

Anyway see you in the morning I got work at 9

Mirage
Oct 27, 2000

All is for the best, in this, the best of all possible worlds
I am honestly amazed you're not a cube of steel right now, my old powder blue 1979 Ford Pinto, considering how disappointed the guy at the used car lot looked when I brought you in for a trade-in.

Inexplicable Humblebrag
Sep 20, 2003

lol if you answer your phone to unknown numbers

Beachcomber
May 21, 2007

Another day in paradise.


Slippery Tilde
You're literally 20 feet from me, you could have just honked.

Beach Bum
Jan 13, 2010
"It's been eight goddamn years, replace the loving flywheel already and get me out of the backyard." [1980 F250]

Julius CSAR
Oct 3, 2007

by sebmojo
Sorry I forgot to put the oil cap back on :(

The Breakfast Sampler
Jan 1, 2006


sorry I murdered you, you glorious little bastard. sorry I got in all those accidents and used the insurance money to buy computers and drugs and just taped you up and fixed you with rope. sorry I killed your engine when I revved and rocked you out of a snow bank I drove off the road into because I was afraid to ask my parents to help me get you out. RIP little toyota.

schmuckfeatures
Oct 27, 2003
Hair Elf
:phone: car:
I'm the Gerneral Lee,
A pistol pumpin', steel belted cavalry.
I'll never let you down when you're riding with me;
Buckle up and I'll show you what I mean.
Take a look back there:
Sirens blownin', red lights flashin' everywhere;
We'll cross the fields and we'll be running free,
They'll eat dust compliments of me:
The General Lee
I'm a hero, and that's how I'll make you feel
When you're riding shotgun with me and the law is at your heels.
I'm glory bound, but when the chase is done,
I'll take off through the mountains and have fun, fun, fun.
I've got style, tearing through the curves;
Let my flag wave proudly to the people that I serve.
I'm number one, and I will always be
The pride of the South they call the General Lee.
I'm the Gerneral Lee,
A pistol pumpin', steel belted cavalry.
I'll never let you down when you're riding with me;
Buckle up and I'll show you what I mean.
Take a look back there:
Sirens blownin', red lights flashin' everywhere;
I'll jump that pond and we'll be running free,
And they'll go swimmin', compliments of me:
The General Lee

:phoneb: me:
sir, i never owned a chrysler product. you have the wrong number

reignofevil
Nov 7, 2008
"Why did you drive me down streets so flooded that it was basically boating and then smash me into a radio dj's event trailer outside of a walmart and total my front end?"

"I wanted to have sex OP"

The Zack
Jan 1, 2005

Pillbug

Beach Bum posted:

"It's been eight goddamn years, replace the loving flywheel already and get me out of the backyard." [1980 F250]
1980 F150 :hfive:

I'm sorry for abandoning you after going to college. Still, is that any reason for you to join ISIS?

AFewBricksShy
Jun 19, 2003

of a full load.



Hi Granny, I'm sorry I put you into the intersection where you got t-boned by someone speeding. I thought the coast was clear, luckily you kept me safe and no one was hurt.
I had lots of fun with you and remember you fondly to this day, unlike the big stupid piece of poo poo buick I replaced you with, that car was a cheap impostor to your magnificence.

Seriously, if you see Granny 2 in the same junk yard, tell her she was a loving piece of poo poo.

If I ever get stupid rich, I'm buying another one of you and I'll put some stupid fast engine in it and it will be awesome.


RIP, Granny Mobile.


1986 Chevy Celebrity, it looked exactly like this one.

The lovely Granny 2 -

1989 Buick LeSabre

chibi luda
Apr 17, 2013

I’m sorry you were killed by a drunk driver when you were parked on the street, 2000 Ford Taurus. I never really took care of you because I was an idiot in both high school and college, but you were a reliable sedan that was roomy enough to fit in lots of people for dumb rear end adventures.

I did not press charges against the kid who did it, so I guess I did not get justice for your death. But you weren’t worth much to begin with and I felt like a 19 year old might benefit from a second chance at not completely loving up his life, especially since no humans were hurt.

I read in the paper that he died of sickle cell a year later. Life is fleeting, nothing matters, etc

Olympic Mathlete
Feb 25, 2011

:h:


"Yeah I know you're in the workshop half finished, I'll get to you eventually, I've got you a new engine and everything, just chill. I need to fix up the Civic first..."

Honky Dong Country
Feb 11, 2015

It's just that screaming hell recording from Event Horizon because I totalled the poor thing.

peanut
Sep 9, 2007


No, you're not the only one. My dad ground and destroyed the transmissions of all his manual cars. I'm sorry. Thank you for the driving practice, it was very educational to slip into neutral while driving in 2nd gear.

Residency Evil
Jul 28, 2003

4/5 godo... Schumi
I’m sorry you had to listen to “Mr Roboto” so many times buddy. :(

meatpimp
May 15, 2004

Psst -- Wanna buy

:) EVERYWHERE :)
some high-quality thread's DESTROYED!

:kheldragar:



I never should have replaced you with the Camaro. You were much better in every way. Especially fishtails and burnouts.

meatpimp fucked around with this message at 17:45 on Feb 25, 2020

Wilkins Micawber
Jan 27, 2005

as we leave this existence
looking for another
Fallen Rib
Sorry I sped and hit black ice and then jumped you over a stump and you skid a million feet into a farmers field and my GameCube hit Sam on the head, then you caught on fire. Sorry afterward I robotripped at Kyle's house while you were rotting at the impound. Thank you for taking care of my Donald Glaude and Tool and pink floyd CDs before I could see you again to clean you out. Sorry I didn't appreciate your sunroof and power everything. I never had a car like you again. :iiaca:

SHISHKABOB
Nov 30, 2012

Fun Shoe
im sorry i forgot to put you in park and caused you to roll down my backyard and crash into a tree, totaling you

A CRAB IRL
May 6, 2009

If you're looking for me, you better check under the sea

Hey, it was pretty annoying and frankly loving terrifying when you decided that a catastrophic engine intake explosion at 30mph was a good idea, could you maybe have not done that

Hector Delgado
Sep 23, 2007

Time for shore leave!!
I apologize for all the shopping cart ramming I did. I was a stupid teen and it was fun at the time (still is).

Somewhat Heroic
Oct 11, 2007

(Insert Mad Max related text)





Bonnie. You taught me SO MUCH. I learned car control in the winter with your rear drive and gigantic wheelbase. I could oppo lock counter steer for blocks at a time during winter for funsies. You were so immediately recognizable that you made me popular by association, thanks for letting me ride your coat tails. You were five years older than me and out of my league. You were thirsty and had a bad drinking habit that I have never been able to match in any of the cars that have followed including ones much faster. Sorry about the neutral drops, but at least I made sure the tires were wet before hand. Not sorry about the jumps. I wish I put a glass pack on just to hear that four barrel eat. If I had you today I would put a lift on you, and some rally tires and armor and blast you through the desert.

BigBadSteve
Apr 29, 2009

I've never owned a car, so gently caress YOU, SCAMMER CAR.

Kharnifex
Sep 11, 2001

The Banter is better in AusGBS
Eat more roasted vegetables and onions? Ok sure, but it gives me wicked gas.

Best Bi Geek Squid
Mar 25, 2016
dear 1985 volvo 240 dl sedan. You were falling apart when I got you, and never really stopped. I guess that is our fault cause we never really took care of you - my parents didn't really give a poo poo and me and my sisters were broke idiots.

remember when I accidentally pulled down the ceiling light and then your turn signals stopped working? i used hand signals that whole winter until the blinkers just...started working again.

you were a good car. remember the two sun-warped tapes I had? dire straits' greatest hits and a mixed tape that my oldest sister's boyfriend made her? in retrospect, he clearly picked some of those songs to get in her pants lmao

did I ever get frisky with the ladies inside of you? probably not. it really would have only been that one girl and her car was much better for that. I don't think she felt safe riding in you. or maybe she just really wanted to be in a car with ac.

anywho, hope things are good in car hell or wherever you are

Pick
Jul 19, 2009
Nap Ghost

Beachcomber posted:

You're literally 20 feet from me, you could have just honked.

Same, also sorry I moved the new car to your spot. Poly relationships are hard.

Chinatown
Sep 11, 2001

by Fluffdaddy
Fun Shoe
sorry for farting in you like everyday

love u

ShortyMR.CAT
Sep 25, 2008

:blastu::dogcited:
Lipstick Apathy
Prob be upset i replaced those takakakatata airbag bombs in the glove box. Don't be bustin in my face honda civic!

Wicker Man
Sep 5, 2007

Just like Columbus...


Clapping Larry
"No, I'm not going to be answering the random calls about car warrantys, you and I don't need that. I know what's best for you."

SeXReX
Jan 9, 2009

I drink, mostly.
And get mad at people on the internet


:emptyquote:
Sorry about that bag of leaves that never got to the compost site in Fall and sat inside you for the whole winter you spent parked to save on insurance.

GnarlyCharlie4u
Sep 23, 2007

I have an unhealthy obsession with motorcycles.

Proof
"DUDE! Remember that time we got pulled over for doing 100 in a 45? I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW I COULD GO THAT FAST!"

There would be a lot or reminiscing about that "Wineberry" Dodge Caravan high-top conversion with a TV and VCR, and of course removable seats.
God what a perfect vehicle for a high-schooler.

Hector Delgado posted:

I apologize for all the shopping cart ramming I did. I was a stupid teen and it was fun at the time (still is).

2000 Ranger. Steel bumpers.
It was totally consensual and nobody was hurt.

HugeGrossBurrito
Mar 20, 2018
My first car was a Ford Taurus mostly used for delivering pizzas, I smoked weed in it constantly and hauled rear end everywhere. One day I was hitting the gas and it burst into flames lmao. God I miss that fucker.

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Literally A Person
Jan 1, 1970

Smugworth Wuz Here
I answer the phone and am immediately greeted by screaming. "YOU JUST LEFT ME THERE!!! LEFT ME THERE TO DIE!!! WELL I'M NOT DEAD MOTHER FUCKER AND I'M COMING FOR YOU!!!!

Me: :ohdear:

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