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ili
Jul 26, 2003


Blow is the guy at the pub everyone calls a loving oval office. When he arrives the bar staff and regulars all say fairly loudly "gently caress, ankles is back." Blow chuckles.

Nobody else does.

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Jestery
Aug 2, 2016


Not a Dickman, just a shape
Blow leaves his phone at the party and comes back the next day to pick it up and is upset when they don't kick on

Jestery
Aug 2, 2016


Not a Dickman, just a shape
Hahahaha guys lol as if I'd do that u cutns something something sexist and racist

You guys r dum

The Party Fouls are an American rock band that formed in Berkeley, California in 2006. Originally a duo, the group was formed by singer-songwriters Jorge Garibaldi and Oscar Alulema. Their rising popularity lead them to a series of support tours and spots in several music festivals. In late 2008, the band was signed on a 360 deal with Capitol Records. Currently, the band continues to play shows throughout California while working on their full-length album due in early 2010. Their latest release is Twilight.

The Party Fouls

OriginCalifornia, USAGenresRock, pop rock, power pop, hardcore punkYears active2006–presentLabelsCapitolMembersJorge Garibaldi
Oscar Alulema

:350:
:weed:

Jezza of OZPOS
Mar 21, 2018

GET LOSE❌🗺️, YOUS CAN'T COMPARE😤 WITH ME 💪POWERS🇦🇺
I just did half an acre on a slope for the first time in 6 months with a two stroke pushie and I’m hosed boys and girls

Jezza of OZPOS
Mar 21, 2018

GET LOSE❌🗺️, YOUS CAN'T COMPARE😤 WITH ME 💪POWERS🇦🇺
I’m still incredulous that I bought a second hand mower off an old oval office and it didn’t already have a home made ‘safe enough’ jury rig on the catchment door so you can just spray mulch at your legs while you mow

I emptied that thing more than a hundred times I swear and I started at 2 pm

Dr. Garbanzo
Sep 14, 2010

Malcolm Turnbeug posted:

I’m still incredulous that I bought a second hand mower off an old oval office and it didn’t already have a home made ‘safe enough’ jury rig on the catchment door so you can just spray mulch at your legs while you mow

I emptied that thing more than a hundred times I swear and I started at 2 pm

Part of a wire coat hanger does the trick for me. As long as the hook is still attached it's all good

Korgan
Feb 14, 2012


Malcolm Turnbeug posted:

I finally found a second hand push mower that wasn't complete poo poo or priced like a new mower. Thinking about starting up a patreon where you can donate money and I'll hand-mow a bespoke curse word into my 1.5 acre block and take a drone picture of it for you.

bear in mind I am right next door to a private airfield so this is prime curse world real estate

WELCOME
TO PERTH

ili
Jul 26, 2003


Malcolm Turnbeug posted:

I just did half an acre on a slope for the first time in 6 months with a two stroke pushie and I’m hosed boys and girls

Top work, but did you mow #freenvj into it first?

Isaac
Aug 3, 2006

Fun Shoe

I would blow Dane Cook posted:

Blow is the guy at the party that goes table to table, finishing off the dregs in people's empties.

I did this and my next memory was being in jail

I would blow Dane Cook
Dec 26, 2008
Blow is the guy at the party wearing Crocs unironically.

Kharnifex
Sep 11, 2001

The Banter is better in AusGBS

Isaac posted:

I did this and my next memory was being in jail

My brother found me wandering about 1KM from home, in the right direction though!

Jezza of OZPOS
Mar 21, 2018

GET LOSE❌🗺️, YOUS CAN'T COMPARE😤 WITH ME 💪POWERS🇦🇺
I’ve never been to jail but I remember doing that at the RE toga party and I blacked out and woke up in a blackberry thicket

McSpergin
Sep 10, 2013

I would blow Dane Cook posted:

Blow is the guy at the party who brings the Bird Bath from the garden into the living room.

I broke a bird bath at an engagement party once. Had this bloke I knew from school that moved to Toowoomba with his partner at the time, long story short they were house sitting this gorgeous place that overlooks the dividing range on the eastern side of Toowoomba.

Basically the party devolved into hitting on the bride to be's best friend all night and being suuuuper seedy about it, getting the cheap champagne they had (after the couple had a fight about some poo poo and one stormed off) and doing a "race finish" with it aka shaking the gently caress out of it and spraying it, and then we started trying to get our empty tins into the bird bath. Basically, it was a cheap lovely bird bath, I threw a champagne bottle thinking it'd be hilarious and broke the rim off the bird bath

Single me is a menace esp when I drink with a certain pair of mates ( names Maca and Clargo)

Maximum Sexy Pigeon
Jun 5, 2008

We must never speak of this!

Malcolm Turnbeug posted:

i've only had two jobs that would classify as "dirty" and most people wouldn't argue with, one was the saturday/sunday yardie at the victory hotel and you'd spend your first 4 hours between cleaning jobs the cleaners outright refused to do for safety reasons, and replacing toilet seats. The other one was the blood sweep at the slaughterhouse. You just wandered around the drainage floor sweeping blood into drains placed around the room. I think the second one is objectively worse in every metric but those are the two jobs I leave off my resume bc the skillset was basically a willingness to tolerate awful working conditions and not much else apart from reasonably working hands and legs and major vital organs.

The random poo poo and blood cleaning at the vic was really truely insane though, way worse than anything I saw in any other place in hospitality. Absolute war zone stuff. I cleaned pubs and restaurants for years under contract, and on payroll and I never saw anything to that extent. I did the cleaning for a 200 seat fine dining restaurant that had a huge space and it took me maybe 2 hours max to do the whole thing solo, but that pub had a 6 person cleaning crew, a full wet-vac system that plugged into our cleaning chemical cupboard, and I'd still have to do at least 2-3 hours worth of cleaning those days if you count all the times I took a break to throw up and blast a cigarette.

Time intensive issues that cropped up a lot were

vomit in rental plants
poo poo in rental plants
used condoms broken in a rental plant


really just the amount of abuse I saw rental plants cop there was incredible now that I think about it. there were other things but those poor plants really did cop it.

I feel a sort of kinship here, both of these throw flashbacks of my own previous employments.

For one, in a brief stint in Brisbane, I ended up in a hide processing plant in Hemmant, my job included dragging saturated (and newly cured with 97% salt solution) cowhides of varying sizes from giant vats that promised the potential of a pitiful, stinging death if you happen to fall headfirst into it which wasn't unlikely since they were lower than you were on the platform and were incredibly heavy at that stage.
From there they would be impaled onto a production line of hooks which were moving fast enough to really make it difficult for a rookie to puncture, then they went along the line, doubled back and if the order called for it then certain parts were trimmed (Legs, horns, tails anything the abattoir missed). Then the mechanised 'kicker' would boot the soppy cloak of flesh off the hook (Maybe 3/4 times, manual assistance required otherwise) on a stainless steel scale onto which one would have to quickly folk the skin, inside out, onto so it could be sorted onto weight designated pallets.
The inside-out skins were then moved by hand to a pallet, requiring the worker to hug it tightly otherwise the wet blubber and flesh would slip out from between the elbow-length rubber gloves and apron much to the disapproval of the managers, the larger skins requiring two people.
The whole factory was encrusted with salt, everything non-stainless would need to be replaced every few years and the racking at the time was easily an inch thicker at the base than at the top, you would be covered in salt and fat, black clothes would be white at the end of a shift, you would always get your own seat on a train.
Every once in a while the Islanders on the vats would start a fight with the workers at the weigh table by throwing a lump of fat which will make a shocking sound when hit in the face with unexpectedly but never really hurt, then for about 5 minutes there would be handfuls of fat flying around the factory until a manager came in. One time a testicle was kicked around like a soccer ball for an afternoon while work happened.
One time while trimming skins, I sliced through the middle of an abscess. What looked like egg yolk pouring over my gloves and boots and the noise I made when the smell hit me had me backing off like I had been king hit in the face, an Aboriginal bloke with one eye was working beside me and expressed deep, knowing sympathy when I told him what it was.

The other job was many experiences working in events/entertainment. Things like dragging looms through an underground pit maybe a foot wide after a season of stagnant water and dead rats, which would be pulled up with it.
Bumping out Mardi Gras afterparties and trying not to think about what that conspicuous fluid all over the cables could be, or picking up subs covered in vomit, but at least I always found good money (like $20's and $50's) packs of cigarettes everywhere.
Pulling the floating platforms and cabling from sitting in Darling Harbour for weeks after Vivid, covered in Sydney harbour scum and seagull poo poo...

I'd attempt to remember more messed up stuff but it is almost 10pm and I have to be at the Metro in an hour to bump out some guy who sang in Spandau Ballet and I think I should have gone easier on the beers this arvo...

Maximum Sexy Pigeon fucked around with this message at 11:54 on Feb 28, 2020

hambeet
Sep 13, 2002

uhh. i did dial up internet technical support in the early 2000's.

Dr. Garbanzo
Sep 14, 2010
I once had to head back to a party the following day to retreive my backpack cause I'd left it behind after passing out on a bench and waking up in my bed some time later on. It's one of the bigger scene missing moments I've ever had tbh but the party holder was a nice person who held onto my bag which had nothing of any value in it.

I would blow Dane Cook
Dec 26, 2008
I had to use siebel once.

naeka
Sep 1, 2008

as a teenager i did cleaning at a seedy motel which was awful. i can still remember how hosed the cleaning chemicals smelled and every sunday morning after the junkies left there was always scraps of weed/heroin/ice residue all over stuff along with used condoms. i think the job i had talking people down from suicide over the phone was less mentally scarring.

Tirade
Jul 17, 2001

Cybertron must act decisively to prevent and oppose acts of genocide and violations of international robot rights law and to bring perpetrators before the Decepticon Justice Division
Pillbug
loving hell, those jobs sound incredibly bad. Worst I had was during a run of hospitality jobs in Brisbane where I worked at the Beat in the Valley for about six weeks during the early aughts. Never come across such an "oh this is an actual criminal enterprise" vibe as that joint.

Caesar Saladin
Aug 15, 2004

welcome to february 29th, the leap day of leap year 2020, i don't know about you guys but i feel the leap day vibes and Feb 29th energy

Tokamak
Dec 22, 2004

it is a queer day this year

Isaac
Aug 3, 2006

Fun Shoe
I hope the normal calendar comes back tommorow

Caesar Saladin
Aug 15, 2004

My uncle is visiting and he brought his new sixth wife, I didn't realise it was a new one and talked to her as though she was number 5

Isaac
Aug 3, 2006

Fun Shoe
I think after like 3 you dont have a responsibility to keep track anymore

Drint Blasters
Jul 1, 2007

Friend of mine worked at an slaughter house and also told a story about an abscess, happened to a co-worker of his. Dude had been there a few months amd cut into a carcass with more vigor then usual and hit an abscess. Said it basically exploded and sprayed the guy in the face, who immediately started vomiting. After he was done he took off the apron etc, grabbed his stuff and left. Never came back

McSpergin
Sep 10, 2013

I think the worst I ever had was the woolies seafood clean down on a saturday. mostly tame but the display case was poorly drained and the drains inevitably ended up full of some prawn bits and stuff which would start to loving reek by the time it was a deep clean on a Saturday night. Almost vomited a few times but that's pretty tame

I worked for a start up that was more toxic working environment than anything else and has taught me how to spot cunts to avoid upsetting. Egomaniac sales manager who didn't appreciate me telling him that his writing was dogshit (it was, massively so) so figuring out a way to be more tactful with it. All great fun and real challenges

Carlos Lantana
Oct 2, 2003

I'm really sorry, your avatar is giving me a boner and while that is perfectly OK and I don't want to kink shame anyone, its making me feel really weird getting a boner in a Trump thread.

Sincerely,

Jailbrekr
If these forums had lower posting standards we'd know exactly what NVJ is doing today

Isaac
Aug 3, 2006

Fun Shoe
I think NVJ has my phone number but i dont think I have his

Rozzbot
Nov 4, 2009

Pork, lamb, chicken and ham
Best job I ever had was in the ourdoor furniture section of Bunnings and nothing has ever come close to topping that sweet time in my life

well why not
Feb 10, 2009




reminder that as today is the leap day any fights you have with the mrs today are automatically void at midnight. time to crack that special bottle of Bundy lads

Carlos Lantana
Oct 2, 2003

I'm really sorry, your avatar is giving me a boner and while that is perfectly OK and I don't want to kink shame anyone, its making me feel really weird getting a boner in a Trump thread.

Sincerely,

Jailbrekr
NVJ deadnamed Gail down at the 24hr and now he cant get a hot pie in Macksville after 7.30

Jezza of OZPOS
Mar 21, 2018

GET LOSE❌🗺️, YOUS CAN'T COMPARE😤 WITH ME 💪POWERS🇦🇺

Isaac posted:

I think NVJ has my phone number but i dont think I have his

i thought I had you in my phone but it might be another isaac

Isaac
Aug 3, 2006

Fun Shoe
Once I got a call from someone asking if I can cover a shift at a telstra store somewhere and it turned out they were trying to call some other Isaac. Maybe NVJ is the manager of a telstra store and he gave someone else the wrong isaac’s number

Big Willy Style
Feb 11, 2007

How many Astartes do you know that roll like this?
I worked in the worst pub in Rockhampton in 2007 - The Swan Hotel. My first shift one of the pensioners that lived there passed out and shat his pants in the mens room. i found him when i was closing up for the night. He only had two pots of VB. My manager asked me to hose him down with the fire hose and i told him to get hosed so he did it instead. I also had a 5'2” Maori woman hold a katana to my throat abd met Kathy Freeman there.


Mowed for the first time since the big rain a few weeks ago in Sydney. Strapped the hatch open and had at it. oval office in the jeep who parks like an arsehole in front of my place has lots of grass on their car.

Jezza of OZPOS
Mar 21, 2018

GET LOSE❌🗺️, YOUS CAN'T COMPARE😤 WITH ME 💪POWERS🇦🇺
Planted 2 silky oaks, 2 red cedars, a tuckeroo shrub, a weeping lily pilly and a drunken parrot tree. Time to drink tea and watch drag race in my underpants while I wait for it to cool off for round 2 this arvo. Might mow some poo poo grass but I also want to wait until someone with a ride on can see me doing it bc I’m too much of a dumb gently caress to ask to borrow a ride on and I rely mostly on pity

02-6611-0142-1
Sep 30, 2004

I used to do cleaning at events for awhile. Probably one of the chillest jobs I’ve had, actually. Oktoberfest at the RNA showgrounds was usually the grossest thing of the year, but one year I got to choke a guy out who was attacking a security guard with no repercussions? Definitely had to deal with gross stuff from time to time but the job was so relaxing and low stakes that I remember it more fondly than the toxic office jobs that preceded it.

Rozzbot
Nov 4, 2009

Pork, lamb, chicken and ham
I'm in the US in a legal weed state but apparently all the dispensaries sell out as soon as they open and I have very mixed emotions about this

Big Willy Style
Feb 11, 2007

How many Astartes do you know that roll like this?
It was very easy to get weed when i was LA

McSpergin
Sep 10, 2013

Malcolm Turnbeug posted:

Planted 2 silky oaks, 2 red cedars, a tuckeroo shrub, a weeping lily pilly and a drunken parrot tree. Time to drink tea and watch drag race in my underpants while I wait for it to cool off for round 2 this arvo. Might mow some poo poo grass but I also want to wait until someone with a ride on can see me doing it bc I’m too much of a dumb gently caress to ask to borrow a ride on and I rely mostly on pity

Harvest me some of the first two timbers thanks in advance

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McSpergin
Sep 10, 2013

Moved into the new place in under two hours. Shows how much poo poo I actually own

Laserface is kindly donating a fridge, which I was 90% certain would fit the fridge hutch thing and am now 100% certain.

Some other goon (not sure who but they're on the discord) is kindly donating 2 TV's that they have handy

Garage is way bigger than originally thought, which is grouse. I reckon it's 6m deep which is great with a 4m long Tiguan, leaves me space for toolbox and work bench. there's even power

Going to Momofuku tonight :D

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