Coronavirus 2021: I Threw Up On My Sheep

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Im Ready for DEATH: Oct 5, 2016

The powerful goon constitution cant be defeated by some lame rear end virus.

# ? Mar 12, 2020 04:05

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# ? May 25, 2024 18:22

CJacobs: Apr 17, 2011; Reach for the moon!

I just got over the normal-rear end flu, so I'm probably super duper susceptible to the virus. My idiot grandma doesn't cover her mouth when she coughs no matter how many times my grandpa and I demand she does, so if she gets it I'm as good as dead.

# ? Mar 12, 2020 04:06

zer0spunk: Nov 6, 2000; devil never even lived

Disgusting Coward posted:

I have/had the roni. Got my official Yep, You A Plaguebearer talk from a doc on the phone today - drat near a month after my poo poo got hosed up. My little plague dot should be appearing in the UK tomorrow.

First symptom I noticed was fairly severe muscular and joint pain. Went to the gym, felt like someone had worked me over after s fairly light weight session. Woke up the next day, headache - mostly caused by fatigue and how stiff my neck was, super sore, feeling pretty damned cozy. Mild nose dribblin', light chesty cough. Over the next couple days got hotter and hotter and coughier and coughier and sorer, with my kidneys in particular hurting like an absolute motherfucker. Went to my bed on the Friday, woke up very confused on the Sunday, havingnhad a couple days of weird nightmare and the occasional "oh poo poo I'm drowning" panicky wake up. Fever sweats a bitch, tightness of chest a weird and unfamiliar feeling, absolutely gently caress that poo poo. Started to feel better, had a couple days of "aigt, just a cold, business resumes" and then BAM, back to fever and coughing and sissy bitch breaths. Repeat a few times, woo woo.

The roni seems to jam the door open for any old poo poo to come in and party with it, cause I also got some weird joint swelling, a bad batch of pinkeye and some kinda weird eczema looking poo poo that I am having good fun itching. Lower back feels stiff and achey, and getting weird electric shock feelings in my left leg when I cough - which is fun with a persistent cough. Assume this is a trapped nerve or some poo poo?

Eventually a friend called NHS 24 or whatever it's called now, went to see a veeeeeery well protected doc in a spacesuit who swabbed and took blood and scraped my throat. Few days later which I guess was today, got the Big Speech. Self isolate, warn every motherfucker you know, don't loving go anywhere. Had already self isolated, bored as poo poo, mostly flopping around coughing and being tired. Found out if I sit in a hot bath it eases the ol' chest. Have no idea whatcday/time suits happened on, since the days are merging and my sleeps an bit jacked. Got a buddy bringing me groceries. Feeling betterish now - less about to die, but still weak and fragile. Went for a walk (I live in a rural area, I wasn't gonna meet anyone to infect don't worry) and was aghast at the ding my staminas taken. Walked a mile, slept like some fucker had tranquilized me. Still feel warm, and the cough randomly comes back, but feeling better. Bless you Papa Nurgle.

The contract you signed by registering here means that the nearest member to you geographically is bound by law to come erase your browser history upon your death

# ? Mar 12, 2020 04:06

a mysterious cloak: Apr 5, 2003; Leave me alone, dad, I'm with my friends!

friendly 2 da void posted:

speaking as a current covid sufferer: you're a hero and when this is over i will personally shower you with gold

Aww, that sucks - take care of yourself and hope you feel better!

And I'm no hero, but I'll pm you about the shower thing :wink:

# ? Mar 12, 2020 04:07

Rad-daddio: Apr 25, 2017

Disgusting Coward posted:

I have/had the roni. Got my official Yep, You A Plaguebearer talk from a doc on the phone today - drat near a month after my poo poo got hosed up. My little plague dot should be appearing in the UK tomorrow.

First symptom I noticed was fairly severe muscular and joint pain. Went to the gym, felt like someone had worked me over after s fairly light weight session. Woke up the next day, headache - mostly caused by fatigue and how stiff my neck was, super sore, feeling pretty damned cozy. Mild nose dribblin', light chesty cough. Over the next couple days got hotter and hotter and coughier and coughier and sorer, with my kidneys in particular hurting like an absolute motherfucker. Went to my bed on the Friday, woke up very confused on the Sunday, havingnhad a couple days of weird nightmare and the occasional "oh poo poo I'm drowning" panicky wake up. Fever sweats a bitch, tightness of chest a weird and unfamiliar feeling, absolutely gently caress that poo poo. Started to feel better, had a couple days of "aigt, just a cold, business resumes" and then BAM, back to fever and coughing and sissy bitch breaths. Repeat a few times, woo woo.

The roni seems to jam the door open for any old poo poo to come in and party with it, cause I also got some weird joint swelling, a bad batch of pinkeye and some kinda weird eczema looking poo poo that I am having good fun itching. Lower back feels stiff and achey, and getting weird electric shock feelings in my left leg when I cough - which is fun with a persistent cough. Assume this is a trapped nerve or some poo poo?

Eventually a friend called NHS 24 or whatever it's called now, went to see a veeeeeery well protected doc in a spacesuit who swabbed and took blood and scraped my throat. Few days later which I guess was today, got the Big Speech. Self isolate, warn every motherfucker you know, don't loving go anywhere. Had already self isolated, bored as poo poo, mostly flopping around coughing and being tired. Found out if I sit in a hot bath it eases the ol' chest. Have no idea whatcday/time suits happened on, since the days are merging and my sleeps an bit jacked. Got a buddy bringing me groceries. Feeling betterish now - less about to die, but still weak and fragile. Went for a walk (I live in a rural area, I wasn't gonna meet anyone to infect don't worry) and was aghast at the ding my staminas taken. Walked a mile, slept like some fucker had tranquilized me. Still feel warm, and the cough randomly comes back, but feeling better. Bless you Papa Nurgle.

poo poo, I just started getting a runny nose, joint pains and this weird pain in my neck. I'm also might be getting a fever. Fingers crossed it's just a regular cold and not Corona plague.

# ? Mar 12, 2020 04:07

Rinkles: Oct 24, 2010; What I'm getting at is...
Do you feel the same way?

CJacobs posted:

if she gets it I'm as good as dead.

Well no, but she is

# ? Mar 12, 2020 04:07

Fojar38: Sep 2, 2011; Sorry I meant to say I hope that the police use maximum force and kill or maim a bunch of innocent people, thus paving a way for a proletarian uprising and socialist utopia

also here's a stupid take
---------------------------->

Rad-daddio posted:

poo poo, I just started getting a runny nose, joint pains and this weird pain in my neck. I'm also might be getting a fever. Fingers crossed it's just a regular cold and not Corona plague.

Phlegmy coughing and shortness of breath are the big tells and if they develop you'll probably be eligible for getting tested

# ? Mar 12, 2020 04:08

CJacobs: Apr 17, 2011; Reach for the moon!

Rinkles posted:

Well no, but she is

Good, she can have eternity to learn some human decency in the afterlife then

# ? Mar 12, 2020 04:09

Fojar38: Sep 2, 2011; Sorry I meant to say I hope that the police use maximum force and kill or maim a bunch of innocent people, thus paving a way for a proletarian uprising and socialist utopia

also here's a stupid take
---------------------------->

CJacobs posted:

Good, she can have eternity to learn some human decency in the afterlife then

And goons are worried they'll have trouble with social distancing

# ? Mar 12, 2020 04:11

Illuminti: Dec 3, 2005; Praise be to China's Covid-Zero Policy

Lambert posted:

Live on like normal because who cares about entertainment personalities?

Super harsh dose of reality you just dished out there dude. I cut myself on that edge

# ? Mar 12, 2020 04:11

MorrisBae: Jan 18, 2020; by Athanatos

Fojar38 posted:

Phlegmy coughing and shortness of breath are the big tells and if they develop you'll probably be eligible for getting tested

What color is the phlegm

# ? Mar 12, 2020 04:12

Doc Walrus: Jan 2, 2014; Cryin' Chris is a WASTE.; Nap Ghost

Disgusting Coward posted:

I have/had the roni. Got my official Yep, You A Plaguebearer talk from a doc on the phone today - drat near a month after my poo poo got hosed up. My little plague dot should be appearing in the UK tomorrow.

First symptom I noticed was fairly severe muscular and joint pain. Went to the gym, felt like someone had worked me over after s fairly light weight session. Woke up the next day, headache - mostly caused by fatigue and how stiff my neck was, super sore, feeling pretty damned cozy. Mild nose dribblin', light chesty cough. Over the next couple days got hotter and hotter and coughier and coughier and sorer, with my kidneys in particular hurting like an absolute motherfucker. Went to my bed on the Friday, woke up very confused on the Sunday, havingnhad a couple days of weird nightmare and the occasional "oh poo poo I'm drowning" panicky wake up. Fever sweats a bitch, tightness of chest a weird and unfamiliar feeling, absolutely gently caress that poo poo. Started to feel better, had a couple days of "aigt, just a cold, business resumes" and then BAM, back to fever and coughing and sissy bitch breaths. Repeat a few times, woo woo.

The roni seems to jam the door open for any old poo poo to come in and party with it, cause I also got some weird joint swelling, a bad batch of pinkeye and some kinda weird eczema looking poo poo that I am having good fun itching. Lower back feels stiff and achey, and getting weird electric shock feelings in my left leg when I cough - which is fun with a persistent cough. Assume this is a trapped nerve or some poo poo?

Eventually a friend called NHS 24 or whatever it's called now, went to see a veeeeeery well protected doc in a spacesuit who swabbed and took blood and scraped my throat. Few days later which I guess was today, got the Big Speech. Self isolate, warn every motherfucker you know, don't loving go anywhere. Had already self isolated, bored as poo poo, mostly flopping around coughing and being tired. Found out if I sit in a hot bath it eases the ol' chest. Have no idea whatcday/time suits happened on, since the days are merging and my sleeps an bit jacked. Got a buddy bringing me groceries. Feeling betterish now - less about to die, but still weak and fragile. Went for a walk (I live in a rural area, I wasn't gonna meet anyone to infect don't worry) and was aghast at the ding my staminas taken. Walked a mile, slept like some fucker had tranquilized me. Still feel warm, and the cough randomly comes back, but feeling better. Bless you Papa Nurgle.

stay strong coronagoon, please meet boris johnson too

# ? Mar 12, 2020 04:13

Lil Swamp Booger Baby: Aug 1, 1981

MorrisBae posted:

What color is the phlegm

Rainbow

# ? Mar 12, 2020 04:16

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

QuoProQuid posted:

https://twitter.com/davidmackau/status/1237923677917904898

the last hour has felt like a fever dream

ive been dead for a thousand years

# ? Mar 12, 2020 04:16

sweet thursday: Sep 16, 2012

What is Social Distancing to a goon

# ? Mar 12, 2020 04:17

Disgusting Coward: Feb 17, 2014

Crazyweasel posted:

Do you mind sharing age and general health prior to? My last thread to reality is that it �might not be that bad for my age range (under 30)� but wondering how true that is

Mid 30s, generally keep pretty well. Underactive thyroid, that's about it. Am a fairly healthy guy, eat right and get a lot of exercise - mostly weights and swimming. Was in training for a triathlon prior to this. Oh, low blood pressure and occasional anaemia, which is apparently a family thing.

It wasn't the illest I've ever felt, tbh? Even when down with the sickness (oooah ah ah ah) i wasnt like hosed hosed. I've had gastric flus that were worse. But the rollercoaster you're fine now you're sick again now youre fine now you're sick again nature of it, plus the other illnesses coming along for the ride, THAT could eat a dick. And the shortness of breath was a bit spooky - I'm a barrel chested dude with lungs like a pair of garbage bags, I'm not used to struggling for breath. If I had a respiratory illness, I could seethat getting problematic very fast.

Think I got it off my buddy who's Chinese and was there. He was apparently someplace near Wuhan for new year. His wife had some roni style fever and coughing, but said she felt better after a week. Suspect this poo poo is everywhere, and most folk are sailing througb without noticing.

# ? Mar 12, 2020 04:17

Traxis: Jul 2, 2006

sweet thursday posted:

What is Social Distancing to a goon

Tipping the pizza guy thru the mail slot

# ? Mar 12, 2020 04:18

sweet thursday: Sep 16, 2012

I'm afraid we are all going to get it. For what... some tasty soup? I wish I could have some of that soup and see what the fuss is about

# ? Mar 12, 2020 04:18

zer0spunk: Nov 6, 2000; devil never even lived

Disgusting Coward posted:

Think I got it off my buddy who's Chinese and was there. He was apparently someplace near Wuhan for new year.

nice, you got the OG strain before it became hipster

# ? Mar 12, 2020 04:20

schmuckfeatures: Oct 27, 2003; Hair Elf

QuoProQuid posted:

https://twitter.com/davidmackau/status/1237923677917904898

the last hour has felt like a fever dream

this moment in world history is like that season of Lost where you could really tell the writers had run out of ideas and were just throwing random poo poo on the screen to keep everyone watching

# ? Mar 12, 2020 04:21

barkbell: Apr 14, 2006; woof

i had orange chicken for lunch help

# ? Mar 12, 2020 04:21

KakerMix: Apr 8, 2004; 8.2 M.P.G.

Disgusting Coward posted:

Suspect this poo poo is everywhere, and most folk are sailing througb without noticing.

This is quickly becoming the only thing that makes sense to me with just how many people from all the gently caress over are getting it. The only real way that's possible if a bunch of people are Typhoid-Mary-ing their way around dumping it on people that are actually affected.

# ? Mar 12, 2020 04:21

Lil Swamp Booger Baby: Aug 1, 1981

sweet thursday posted:

I'm afraid we are all going to get it. For what... some tasty soup? I wish I could have some of that soup and see what the fuss is about

It was the pangolin who offered the disease to a Chinese man in the woods, he held the man at gunpoint and told him to swallow the liquid from a large steaming goblet with smoke coming out of it. The pangolin then let the man go. This is their revenge.

# ? Mar 12, 2020 04:21

Anime Schoolgirl: Nov 28, 2002

Disgusting Coward posted:

I have/had the roni. Got my official Yep, You A Plaguebearer talk from a doc on the phone today - drat near a month after my poo poo got hosed up. My little plague dot should be appearing in the UK tomorrow.

First symptom I noticed was fairly severe muscular and joint pain. Went to the gym, felt like someone had worked me over after s fairly light weight session. Woke up the next day, headache - mostly caused by fatigue and how stiff my neck was, super sore, feeling pretty damned cozy. Mild nose dribblin', light chesty cough. Over the next couple days got hotter and hotter and coughier and coughier and sorer, with my kidneys in particular hurting like an absolute motherfucker. Went to my bed on the Friday, woke up very confused on the Sunday, havingnhad a couple days of weird nightmare and the occasional "oh poo poo I'm drowning" panicky wake up. Fever sweats a bitch, tightness of chest a weird and unfamiliar feeling, absolutely gently caress that poo poo. Started to feel better, had a couple days of "aigt, just a cold, business resumes" and then BAM, back to fever and coughing and sissy bitch breaths. Repeat a few times, woo woo.

The roni seems to jam the door open for any old poo poo to come in and party with it, cause I also got some weird joint swelling, a bad batch of pinkeye and some kinda weird eczema looking poo poo that I am having good fun itching. Lower back feels stiff and achey, and getting weird electric shock feelings in my left leg when I cough - which is fun with a persistent cough. Assume this is a trapped nerve or some poo poo?

Eventually a friend called NHS 24 or whatever it's called now, went to see a veeeeeery well protected doc in a spacesuit who swabbed and took blood and scraped my throat. Few days later which I guess was today, got the Big Speech. Self isolate, warn every motherfucker you know, don't loving go anywhere. Had already self isolated, bored as poo poo, mostly flopping around coughing and being tired. Found out if I sit in a hot bath it eases the ol' chest. Have no idea whatcday/time suits happened on, since the days are merging and my sleeps an bit jacked. Got a buddy bringing me groceries. Feeling betterish now - less about to die, but still weak and fragile. Went for a walk (I live in a rural area, I wasn't gonna meet anyone to infect don't worry) and was aghast at the ding my staminas taken. Walked a mile, slept like some fucker had tranquilized me. Still feel warm, and the cough randomly comes back, but feeling better. Bless you Papa Nurgle.

someone give this man this tag

also this tag

Anime Schoolgirl fucked around with this message at 04:25 on Mar 12, 2020

# ? Mar 12, 2020 04:23

dr_rat: Jun 4, 2001

Lil Swamp Booger Baby posted:

It was the pangolin who offered the disease to a Chinese man in the woods, he held the man at gunpoint and told him to swallow the liquid from a large steaming goblet with smoke coming out of it. The pangolin then let the man go. This is their revenge.

Pangolin justice, harsh but fair.

# ? Mar 12, 2020 04:26

DonJNavarro: Aug 16, 2000; I am so smart!....S-M-R-T!

Disgusting Coward posted:

Mid 30s, generally keep pretty well. Underactive thyroid, that's about it. Am a fairly healthy guy, eat right and get a lot of exercise - mostly weights and swimming. Was in training for a triathlon prior to this. Oh, low blood pressure and occasional anaemia, which is apparently a family thing.

It wasn't the illest I've ever felt, tbh? Even when down with the sickness (oooah ah ah ah) i wasnt like hosed hosed. I've had gastric flus that were worse. But the rollercoaster you're fine now you're sick again now youre fine now you're sick again nature of it, plus the other illnesses coming along for the ride, THAT could eat a dick. And the shortness of breath was a bit spooky - I'm a barrel chested dude with lungs like a pair of garbage bags, I'm not used to struggling for breath. If I had a respiratory illness, I could seethat getting problematic very fast.

Think I got it off my buddy who's Chinese and was there. He was apparently someplace near Wuhan for new year. His wife had some roni style fever and coughing, but said she felt better after a week. Suspect this poo poo is everywhere, and most folk are sailing througb without noticing.

do you smoke and or vape regularly?

# ? Mar 12, 2020 04:28

MorrisBae: Jan 18, 2020; by Athanatos

Disgusting Coward posted:

Mid 30s, generally keep pretty well. Underactive thyroid, that's about it. Am a fairly healthy guy, eat right and get a lot of exercise - mostly weights and swimming. Was in training for a triathlon prior to this. Oh, low blood pressure and occasional anaemia, which is apparently a family thing.

It wasn't the illest I've ever felt, tbh? Even when down with the sickness (oooah ah ah ah) i wasnt like hosed hosed. I've had gastric flus that were worse. But the rollercoaster you're fine now you're sick again now youre fine now you're sick again nature of it, plus the other illnesses coming along for the ride, THAT could eat a dick. And the shortness of breath was a bit spooky - I'm a barrel chested dude with lungs like a pair of garbage bags, I'm not used to struggling for breath. If I had a respiratory illness, I could seethat getting problematic very fast.

Think I got it off my buddy who's Chinese and was there. He was apparently someplace near Wuhan for new year. His wife had some roni style fever and coughing, but said she felt better after a week. Suspect this poo poo is everywhere, and most folk are sailing througb without noticing.

Did you take any OTC meds (Tylenol/Nyquil/Mucinex/etc.)?

Did they help?

# ? Mar 12, 2020 04:30

sweet thursday: Sep 16, 2012

Everyone kept saying this was going to happen. And apparently it's happening now?

drat. Was the Internet of Things worth it?

# ? Mar 12, 2020 04:33

zer0spunk: Nov 6, 2000; devil never even lived

dr_rat posted:

Pangolin justice, harsh but fair.

y'all got any bats

# ? Mar 12, 2020 04:33

Rad-daddio: Apr 25, 2017

Fojar38 posted:

Phlegmy coughing and shortness of breath are the big tells and if they develop you'll probably be eligible for getting tested

I had Valley Fever a few years back, so I'm already versed in coughing up blood tinged phlegm. Corona should have a lot of fun with my lungs.

# ? Mar 12, 2020 04:38

gary oldmans diary: Sep 26, 2005

Chef Boyardeez Nuts posted:

Out of respect, we should pay tribute to some of his more famous roles.

Like the Captain in Saving Private Ryan
and Trips Baxter from Radio Flyer.

captain trips is already taken by the virus from the stand im afraid

# ? Mar 12, 2020 04:38

Metis of the Chat Thread: Aug 1, 2014

Anime Schoolgirl posted:

someone give this man this tag

also this tag

wait a week or so before giving him the second one

# ? Mar 12, 2020 04:40

sweet thursday: Sep 16, 2012

Someone give it to me straight. Cut it right down to size. How does this rank on a scale from 1 to Spanish Flu?

# ? Mar 12, 2020 04:42

Day Man: Jul 30, 2007; Champion of the Sun!

Master of karate and friendship...
for everyone!

sweet thursday posted:

Someone give it to me straight. Cut it right down to size. How does this rank on a scale from 1 to Spanish Flu?

Spanish flu

# ? Mar 12, 2020 04:44

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

sweet thursday posted:

Someone give it to me straight. Cut it right down to size. How does this rank on a scale from 1 to Spanish Flu?

Like halfway. it's a baddie.

# ? Mar 12, 2020 04:44

Fojar38: Sep 2, 2011; Sorry I meant to say I hope that the police use maximum force and kill or maim a bunch of innocent people, thus paving a way for a proletarian uprising and socialist utopia

also here's a stupid take
---------------------------->

sweet thursday posted:

Someone give it to me straight. Cut it right down to size. How does this rank on a scale from 1 to Spanish Flu?

Maybe like, a 4 or 5? The Spanish Flu was insanely bad and extremely deadly and there was a war and doctors had no idea how to treat it, and it attacked healthy adults.

# ? Mar 12, 2020 04:45

Hadlock: Nov 9, 2004

I had to check your reg date, Disgusting Coward would have been a brilliant throwaway annon account name

# ? Mar 12, 2020 04:47

gary oldmans diary: Sep 26, 2005

i feel pretty safe from all of this except for going to work where i clean doorknobs with my mouth

# ? Mar 12, 2020 04:47

Moey: Oct 22, 2010; I LIKE TO MOVE IT

gary oldmans diary posted:

i feel pretty safe from all of this except for going to work where i clean doorknobs with my mouth

You can get paid for this???

# ? Mar 12, 2020 04:49

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 25, 2024 18:22

The Glumslinger: Sep 24, 2008; Coach Nagy, you want me to throw to WHAT side of the field?; Hair Elf

sweet thursday posted:

Someone give it to me straight. Cut it right down to size. How does this rank on a scale from 1 to Spanish Flu?

Probably a 6.5

# ? Mar 12, 2020 04:50

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > Coronavirus 2021: I Threw Up On My Sheep

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