UKMT March 2020 - Bojo got the Covo - The Something Awful Forums

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Debate & Discussion > UKMT March 2020 - Bojo got the Covo

Who is your first pick in the deputy leadership race? This poll is closed.
R. Allin-Khan	6	1.60%
R. Burgon	80	21.33%
D. Butler	72	19.20%
A. Rayner	35	9.33%
I. Murray	5	1.33%
P. Flaps	177	47.20%
Total:	375 votes

[Edit Poll (moderators only)]

baka kaba: Jul 19, 2003; PLEASE ASK ME, THE SELF-PROFESSED NO #1 PAUL CATTERMOLE FAN IN THE SOMETHING AWFUL S-CLUB 7 MEGATHREAD, TO NAME A SINGLE SONG BY HIS EXCELLENT NU-METAL SIDE PROJECT, SKUA, AND IF I CAN'T PLEASE TELL ME TO
EAT SHIT

OwlFancier posted:

It likely makes little difference to me if I get it but I'd rather not get it early and still have to go to work and then give everyone else it.

I hope nobody gets it because it sounds very bad, and even if you're young and healthy there's a chance it'll gently caress you right up

but yeah anyone with health conditions take care, and try and make sure you've got people who can help you out if it comes to that. Even if it's firing supplies into your home with a catapult

listen to your health professionals

baka kaba fucked around with this message at 23:09 on Mar 14, 2020

# ? Mar 14, 2020 23:02

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# ? May 25, 2024 21:38

Josef bugman: Nov 17, 2011; Pictured: Poster prepares to celebrate Holy Communion (probablY)

This avatar made possible by a gift from the Religionthread Posters Relief Fund

Guavanaut posted:

I'm sure they'd send some painkillers

Is that an Opium reference?

Also, went to a wedding up in Scotland yesterday. Everywhere seems a lot quieter, trains had not half as many people in, and all the shops are out of really odd things.

# ? Mar 14, 2020 23:04

Jippa: Feb 13, 2009

Nitrousoxide posted:

So I just heard the UK is trying to speedrun the coronavirus???

Is this right? You all can't seriously be actively trying to steepen the curve right?

Didn't you hear? Boris sees himself as the mayor from jaws.

# ? Mar 14, 2020 23:05

OwlFancier: Aug 22, 2013

Nitrousoxide posted:

So I just heard the UK is trying to speedrun the coronavirus???

Is this right? You all can't seriously be actively trying to steepen the curve right?

Engerluuuuuuuund!!! *pulls t shirt over head and coughs in it*

baka kaba posted:

I hope nobody gets it because it sounds very bad, and even if you're young and healthy there's a chance it'll gently caress you right up

but yeah anyone with health conditions take care, and try and make sure you've got people who can help you out if it comes to that. Even if it's firing supplies into your home with a catapult

I dunno I'm hearing I get free sterilization if I get it.

# ? Mar 14, 2020 23:05

namesake: Jun 19, 2006; "When I was a girl, around 12 or 13, I had a fantasy that I'd grow up to marry Captain Scarlet, but he'd be busy fighting the Mysterons so I'd cuckold him with the sexiest people I could think of - Nigel Mansell, Pat Sharp and Mr. Blobby."

Nitrousoxide posted:

So I just heard the UK is trying to speedrun the coronavirus???

Is this right? You all can't seriously be actively trying to steepen the curve right?

No the governments initial plan was to try and get the curve to peak just below but as close as possible to the critical failure point of the NHS.

Ignore the fact that number of infected is unknown, R0 is not really known, length of stay and mortality rate is vague, resillience of the NHS is unknown....

# ? Mar 14, 2020 23:09

thespaceinvader: Mar 30, 2011; The slightest touch from a Gol-Shogeg will result in Instant Death!

Gobbeldygook posted:

Here's some more recent and relevant numbers.

https://twitter.com/Robert_t_Orr/status/1238128189123239936

It strikes me to wonder whether critical care beds per capita isn't a slightly misleading/easily misinterpreted statistic in and of itself (ini the 'helmets cause head injuries' way). After all, whilst there are definitely possibilities that other places need beds they don't have, you don't tend to build large numbers of beds you don't need, which in turn implies that more critical care beds means more critical care *patients*.

Which potentially implies an aging population, or a population inclined to ignore minor problems until they become serious and need critical care, rather than a standard bed.

I know which strikes me as more likely for instance in Japan vs in the USA...

# ? Mar 14, 2020 23:10

baka kaba: Jul 19, 2003; PLEASE ASK ME, THE SELF-PROFESSED NO #1 PAUL CATTERMOLE FAN IN THE SOMETHING AWFUL S-CLUB 7 MEGATHREAD, TO NAME A SINGLE SONG BY HIS EXCELLENT NU-METAL SIDE PROJECT, SKUA, AND IF I CAN'T PLEASE TELL ME TO
EAT SHIT

OwlFancier posted:

I dunno I'm hearing I get free sterilization if I get it.

children of men: lucky ducky edition

# ? Mar 14, 2020 23:11

jabby: Oct 27, 2010

namesake posted:

Yeah the most obvious and stupid affect of only testing in secondary care is that it's going to look like the UK covid 19 strain is the new black death, slaughtering 5% or more of the people who get it.

Another effect I'm worried about is that the symptoms of mild covid-19 are remarkably similar to the flu, or a cold.

So without testing, you're going to have a bunch of people swanning around convinced they're immune because they isolated themselves when they've actually never had it in the first place.

# ? Mar 14, 2020 23:12

Doctor_Fruitbat: Jun 2, 2013

Slightly torn here, I've got minor surgery on Friday and my parents were going to drive me back to theirs to recover, but I'm wondering if we should call it off. It's only a day procedure so I won't be in need of much assistance, but I had a bit of a temperature and a bad chest this week, which probably wasn't coronavirus (and if it was I got off lightly, I'm 33), but even then, I'd be extremely bummed if I gave it to them just in time for the NHS to fall over.

# ? Mar 14, 2020 23:13

namesake: Jun 19, 2006; "When I was a girl, around 12 or 13, I had a fantasy that I'd grow up to marry Captain Scarlet, but he'd be busy fighting the Mysterons so I'd cuckold him with the sexiest people I could think of - Nigel Mansell, Pat Sharp and Mr. Blobby."

Doctor_Fruitbat posted:

Slightly torn here, I've got minor surgery on Friday and my parents were going to drive me back to theirs to recover, but I'm wondering if we should call it off. It's only a day procedure so I won't be in need of much assistance, but I had a bit of a temperature and a bad chest this week, which probably wasn't coronavirus (and if it was I got off lightly, I'm 33), but even then, I'd be extremely bummed if I gave it to them just in time for the NHS to fall over.

Ring the hospital and ask, their guidance will be at least as good as your feeling and if they give you the impression that it's not a good idea then they'll have time to rebook someone else into that slot.

# ? Mar 14, 2020 23:15

Nitrousoxide: May 30, 2011; do not buy a oneplus phone

namesake posted:

No the governments initial plan was to try and get the curve to peak just below but as close as possible to the critical failure point of the NHS.

Ignore the fact that number of infected is unknown, R0 is not really known, length of stay and mortality rate is vague, resillience of the NHS is unknown....

That, uh, sounds astoundingly risky.

Is there any reason stated as to why they're taking this INCREDIBLY risky approach instead of the far safer that would entail significant shutdowns for the country over a few months, but wouldn't promise catastrophic failure if they get one variable wrong?

# ? Mar 14, 2020 23:16

Z the IVth: Jan 28, 2009; The trouble with your "expendable machines"; Fun Shoe

Doctor_Fruitbat posted:

Slightly torn here, I've got minor surgery on Friday and my parents were going to drive me back to theirs to recover, but I'm wondering if we should call it off. It's only a day procedure so I won't be in need of much assistance, but I had a bit of a temperature and a bad chest this week, which probably wasn't coronavirus (and if it was I got off lightly, I'm 33), but even then, I'd be extremely bummed if I gave it to them just in time for the NHS to fall over.

There's a nonzero chance it will be cancelled unless it's cancer or something life and limb threatening. Hospitals are already starting to cancel elective surgery.

Nitrousoxide posted:

That, uh, sounds astoundingly risky.

Is there any reason stated as to why they're taking this INCREDIBLY risky approach instead of the far safer that would entail significant shutdowns for the country over a few months, but wouldn't promise catastrophic failure if they get one variable wrong?

Some people will say Boris & Cum don't know what they're doing but in reality they are hoping to purge the population of "undesireables" but instead of building camps and gas chambers hey there's this handy virus that's just come about. Neither of them are in a high risk category after all.

I wonder if the tune will change if/when that Health Minister's mom ends up on a ventilator.

Edit - Less facetious answers VVV

Z the IVth fucked around with this message at 23:22 on Mar 14, 2020

# ? Mar 14, 2020 23:16

OwlFancier: Aug 22, 2013

Nitrousoxide posted:

That, uh, sounds astoundingly risky.

Is there any reason stated as to why they're taking this INCREDIBLY risky approach instead of the far safer that would entail significant shutdowns for the country over a few months, but wouldn't promise catastrophic failure if they get one variable wrong?

Because boris is the biggest brain boy and number must go up.

Tories don't care about people.

# ? Mar 14, 2020 23:18

ThomasPaine: Feb 4, 2009; We have no compassion and we ask no compassion from you. When our turn comes, we shall not make excuses for the terror.

Nitrousoxide posted:

That, uh, sounds astoundingly risky.

Is there any reason stated as to why they're taking this INCREDIBLY risky approach instead of the far safer that would entail significant shutdowns for the country over a few months, but wouldn't promise catastrophic failure if they get one variable wrong?

sounds to me like you're suggesting number shouldn't go up, friend

/\ lmao

# ? Mar 14, 2020 23:18

namesake: Jun 19, 2006; "When I was a girl, around 12 or 13, I had a fantasy that I'd grow up to marry Captain Scarlet, but he'd be busy fighting the Mysterons so I'd cuckold him with the sexiest people I could think of - Nigel Mansell, Pat Sharp and Mr. Blobby."

Nitrousoxide posted:

That, uh, sounds astoundingly risky.

Is there any reason stated as to why they're taking this INCREDIBLY risky approach instead of the far safer that would entail significant shutdowns for the country over a few months, but wouldn't promise catastrophic failure if they get one variable wrong?

Behavioural scientists advising the government have a theory that people will get bored of lock downs and won't obey them for long enough or repeatedly to contain the spread of the virus.

There's also a huge need for the economy to not collapse any more that it already is because the Tories want to complete No Deal Brexit in December (or hypothetically get a trade deal) and the shitter the economy the harder it'll be.

# ? Mar 14, 2020 23:20

Gonzo McFee: Jun 19, 2010

A thousand Blue ticks: but imagine of Corbyn was pm hurt hurr

https://twitter.com/jeremycorbyn/status/1238950454148595713?s=19

Better. It'd be better.

# ? Mar 14, 2020 23:21

Drone_Fragger: May 9, 2007

Nitrousoxide posted:

That, uh, sounds astoundingly risky.

Is there any reason stated as to why they're taking this INCREDIBLY risky approach instead of the far safer that would entail significant shutdowns for the country over a few months, but wouldn't promise catastrophic failure if they get one variable wrong?

Shutting everything down would result in a recession, boris and the tories have spent literally the last 12 years claiming that the 2008 recession was entirely labours fault (rather than say thatchers, majors and blairs banking deregulation), so they'll be damned if they cause one if they can possibly avoid it. Even if it results in everyone dying of coronavirus.

# ? Mar 14, 2020 23:22

namesake: Jun 19, 2006; "When I was a girl, around 12 or 13, I had a fantasy that I'd grow up to marry Captain Scarlet, but he'd be busy fighting the Mysterons so I'd cuckold him with the sexiest people I could think of - Nigel Mansell, Pat Sharp and Mr. Blobby."

Gotta say I'm of the opinion that covid 19 would bring down any UK government and would have absolutely ruined any policy Labour had tried to roll out before now or in response to the virus given the press and political atmosphere they would have created towards it.

While the battlefield is radically different to what people were expecting and hoping for this is absolutely a second chance to get it right.

# ? Mar 14, 2020 23:24

Drone_Fragger: May 9, 2007

The other, more conspiratorial and cynical view is boris wants everything to collapse so he can do one of two things:
1. "oh no the NHS couldn't cope with the coronavirus outbreak because it's a government run institution, we have no choice but to sell it to blue shield insurance"/
2. "I must take on emergency powers after declaring martial law for the good of the country in order to turn this parliament into a dictatorship and save the UK. All hail life minister johnson!!"

# ? Mar 14, 2020 23:25

DiscoWitch: Oct 16, 2009; uwu

This poo poo is getting well scary. Like zombie movie scary.

# ? Mar 14, 2020 23:25

Nitrousoxide: May 30, 2011; do not buy a oneplus phone

namesake posted:

Behavioural scientists advising the government have a theory that people will get bored of lock downs and won't obey them for long enough or repeatedly to contain the spread of the virus.

There's also a huge need for the economy to not collapse any more that it already is because the Tories want to complete No Deal Brexit in December (or hypothetically get a trade deal) and the shitter the economy the harder it'll be.

Drone_Fragger posted:

Shutting everything down would result in a recession, boris and the tories have spent literally the last 12 years claiming that the 2008 recession was entirely labours fault (rather than say thatchers, majors and blairs banking deregulation), so they'll be damned if they cause one if they can possibly avoid it. Even if it results in everyone dying of coronavirus.

Jesus gently caress.

I thought the US's response was bad but goddamn...

I wish you all the best.

# ? Mar 14, 2020 23:26

CGI Stardust: Nov 7, 2010; Brexit is but a door,
election time is but a window.

I'll be back

Z the IVth posted:

Some people will say Boris & Cum don't know what they're doing but in reality they are hoping to purge the population of "undesireables" but instead of building camps and gas chambers hey there's this handy virus that's just come about. Neither of them are in a high risk category after all.

Undesirables such as... the Conservative voter base??

# ? Mar 14, 2020 23:26

Jose: Jul 24, 2007; Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer

namesake posted:

Gotta say I'm of the opinion that covid 19 would bring down any UK government and would have absolutely ruined any policy Labour had tried to roll out before now or in response to the virus given the press and political atmosphere they would have created towards it.

While the battlefield is radically different to what people were expecting and hoping for this is absolutely a second chance to get it right.

yeah but starmer....

# ? Mar 14, 2020 23:26

CGI Stardust: Nov 7, 2010; Brexit is but a door,
election time is but a window.

I'll be back

namesake posted:

Gotta say I'm of the opinion that covid 19 would bring down any UK government and would have absolutely ruined any policy Labour had tried to roll out before now or in response to the virus given the press and political atmosphere they would have created towards it.

While the battlefield is radically different to what people were expecting and hoping for this is absolutely a second chance to get it right.

'Everything under heaven is in utter chaos; the situation is excellent.'

# ? Mar 14, 2020 23:27

Private Speech: Mar 30, 2011; I HAVE EVEN MORE WORTHLESS BEANIE BABIES IN MY COLLECTION THAN I HAVE WORTHLESS POSTS IN THE BEANIE BABY THREAD YET I STILL HAVE THE TEMERITY TO CRITICIZE OTHERS' COLLECTIONS

IF YOU SEE ME TALKING ABOUT BEANIE BABIES, PLEASE TELL ME TO

EAT. SHIT.

If you think about it enough people dying could help with the gdp/pc a fair bit, especially after the epidemic ends.

Both in the obvious way and in more resources for less people way, especially considering who would die.

# ? Mar 14, 2020 23:27

Drone_Fragger: May 9, 2007

Can't wait for boris to kick the door of buckingham palace down with the armies of Capita controlled DWP death sqauds to yell at the queen "I AM THE PARLIAMENT"

# ? Mar 14, 2020 23:27

OwlFancier: Aug 22, 2013

CGI Stardust posted:

Undesirables such as... the Conservative voter base??

I want to cut the pensions budget, but the pensions budget is what votes for me...

How can I chooooose!?

# ? Mar 14, 2020 23:28

Drone_Fragger: May 9, 2007

Nitrousoxide posted:

Jesus gently caress.

I thought the US's response was bad but goddamn...

I wish you all the best.

Trumps response is driven by two things:
1. Dementia
2. Not understanding science.
3. Seemingly genuinely believing that dieseases are caused by democrats and foreigners

# ? Mar 14, 2020 23:29

namesake: Jun 19, 2006; "When I was a girl, around 12 or 13, I had a fantasy that I'd grow up to marry Captain Scarlet, but he'd be busy fighting the Mysterons so I'd cuckold him with the sexiest people I could think of - Nigel Mansell, Pat Sharp and Mr. Blobby."

Jose posted:

yeah but starmer....

Politics is being led by the feeling on the street, not the floor of Parliament. The left still has power here and it is getting stronger and stronger around this crisis.

CGI Stardust posted:

'Everything under heaven is in utter chaos; the situation is excellent.'

Yes.

Nitrousoxide posted:

Jesus gently caress.

I thought the US's response was bad but goddamn...

I wish you all the best.

You too. International solidarity in this time of crisis.

# ? Mar 14, 2020 23:30

Gonzo McFee: Jun 19, 2010

Nitrousoxide posted:

Jesus gently caress.

I thought the US's response was bad but goddamn...

I wish you all the best.

I'm gonnae rip the Queens throat out with my Corona infected teeth and swim all the way to America off the power of my demented zombie brain and and my willy rotating like the propeller of the titanic.

# ? Mar 14, 2020 23:30

Drone_Fragger: May 9, 2007

Private Speech posted:

If you think about it enough people dying could help with the gdp/pc a fair bit, especially after the epidemic ends.

Both in the obvious way and in more resources for less people way, especially considering who would die.

In cinemas this summer: "Covid 19: Boomer Remover pt 2: The Reckoning"

# ? Mar 14, 2020 23:30

ThomasPaine: Feb 4, 2009; We have no compassion and we ask no compassion from you. When our turn comes, we shall not make excuses for the terror.

Gonzo McFee posted:

A thousand Blue ticks: but imagine of Corbyn was pm hurt hurr

https://twitter.com/jeremycorbyn/status/1238950454148595713?s=19

Better. It'd be better.

He was too good for us

# ? Mar 14, 2020 23:31

jabby: Oct 27, 2010

namesake posted:

Behavioural scientists advising the government have a theory that people will get bored of lock downs and won't obey them for long enough or repeatedly to contain the spread of the virus.

There's also a huge need for the economy to not collapse any more that it already is because the Tories want to complete No Deal Brexit in December (or hypothetically get a trade deal) and the shitter the economy the harder it'll be.

Journalists are also not helping by repeating essentially government propaganda. Like this:

https://twitter.com/faisalislam/status/1238882397124526080

This was shown on Newsnight with the green line representing the government's approach, and the blue line the potential consequences of the approach all other countries are taking. Where does it come from you ask?

https://twitter.com/faisalislam/status/1238882902580092935

Eagle eyed viewers may note that in the original paper the green line actually represents "social distancing in place THROUGHOUT the epidemic" while the blue line is more stringent measures initially that are then lifted.

No line is drawn for the government's actual approach, which is no social distancing measures initially and then when they are introduced they remain for a limited time. Possibly because it's the worst of both the blue and red lines. But no, we are (according to journalists) the green line.

EDIT: Also important to note there are no numbers on the graph, because as the example from the US earlier shows as soon as you start using numbers it might become obvious that you'd have to spread the outbreak over an entire decade to prevent the health service collapsing. And we can't tell people that.

jabby fucked around with this message at 23:34 on Mar 14, 2020

# ? Mar 14, 2020 23:32

Wiggly Wayne DDS: Sep 11, 2010

jabby posted:

Journalists are also not helping by repeating essentially government propaganda. Like this:

https://twitter.com/faisalislam/status/1238882397124526080

This was shown on Newsnight with the green line representing the government's approach, and the blue line the potential consequences of the approach all other countries are taking. Where does it come from you ask?

https://twitter.com/faisalislam/status/1238882902580092935

Eagle eyed viewers may note that in the original paper the green line actually represents "social distancing in place THROUGHOUT the epidemic" while the blue line is more stringent measures initially that are then lifted.

No line is drawn for the government's actual approach, which is no social distancing measures initially and then when they are introduced they remain for a limited time. Possibly because it's the worst of both the blue and red lines. But no, we are (according to journalists) the green line.

EDIT: Also important to note there are no numbers on the graph, because as the example from the US earlier shows as soon as you start using numbers it might become obvious that you'd have to spread the outbreak over an entire decade to prevent the health service collapsing. And we can't tell people that.

throw them in prison at this point

# ? Mar 14, 2020 23:35

Jose: Jul 24, 2007; Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer

So jabby and I don't mean this as an insult maybe it's just the difference between reading posting and living with a doctor but my sister works in a hospital currently in intensive care so how likely is she to get it and me from her because she equally isn't too fussed right now but that might be because she is expecting to get it

One of her co-workers was in Egypt when mers was going around after all

# ? Mar 14, 2020 23:35

NoneMoreNegative: Jul 20, 2000; GOTH FASCISTIC
PAIN MASTER

shit wizard dad

oops a reply from nowhere

# ? Mar 14, 2020 23:38

RockyB: Mar 8, 2007; Dog Therapy: Shockingly Good

Drone_Fragger posted:

Can't wait for boris to kick the door of buckingham palace down with the armies of Capita controlled DWP death sqauds to yell at the queen "I AM THE PARLIAMENT"

Johnson leading the modern, privatised roundheads to victory against the senescent. Let slip the SpAds of war.

But don't worry, big tech will save us all

https://twitter.com/AaronWala/status/1238952854292922375?s=20

# ? Mar 14, 2020 23:40

bornbytheriver: Apr 23, 2010

https://twitter.com/UKDemockery/status/1238952710906527745

# ? Mar 14, 2020 23:40

Small Strange Bird: Sep 22, 2006; Merci, chaton!

Jippa posted:

Didn't you hear? Boris sees himself as the mayor from jaws.

Someone should string him up by his Buster Browns.

# ? Mar 14, 2020 23:46

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# ? May 25, 2024 21:38

No More Toast: May 11, 2013; Atheist! Imperialist!!

Not sure if it's paranoia talking, but it feels like I might be developing a fever. Also it looks like thermometers have gone the same way as loo rolls, as I can't find any that will arrive quickly online anywhere. I'm already coughing so seems like it'll be full steam ahead on the self-isolation train! Cannot wait to slowly go insane in my tiny flat.

When this first started feeling serious I thought Boris & Co would be able to swing this to their advantage. As each day goes by this seems less and less likely but even if this somehow does tank the Tories I'd rather it also didn't result in thousands of people dying needlessly.

# ? Mar 14, 2020 23:47

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