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Im Ready for DEATH posted:inept man attempts to survive coronavirus instead slain by botulism i think it was just freezer burned to the bejesus and back and i didn't notice when i tossed it in the crockpot this morning because it's just a ham bone and didn't really smell like anything
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Mar 15, 2020 21:28
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I would blow Dane Cook posted:Karen-19 Can I infect your manager?
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Mar 15, 2020 21:30
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https://twitter.com/BreakingNews/status/1239278479834861571 Can only assume this is going to be the norm for a bunch of other states very soon.
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Mar 15, 2020 21:30
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has anyone figured out how long it would take to run out of porn? what happens then
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Mar 15, 2020 21:31
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As an aside, has Twitter just been performing like poo poo for the last couple of days? I'm having a hard time getting images to load more often than not.
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Mar 15, 2020 21:32
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I’m probably just being a conspiracy theorist, but the UK’s callous plan sounds like a setup for “Look how poorly the NHS handled this. We need free market solutions!” a year from now.
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Mar 15, 2020 21:32
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Anne Whateley posted:
Yeah I haven't been able to find it here in LA either. I'm sure it is someplace but I've checked a few stores around me and come up with nothing.
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Mar 15, 2020 21:34
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Sirotan posted:https://twitter.com/BreakingNews/status/1239278479834861571 Lmao those comments with people being insanely mad because they can't go do meaningless bullshit during a pandemic for a few weeks at the potential cost of death of human lives.
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Mar 15, 2020 21:37
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MarcusSA posted:Yeah I haven't been able to find it here in LA either. Mexican grocery stores have it.
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Mar 15, 2020 21:37
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sweet thursday posted:It's been a hard day arguing with my family, my employer, my union exec, and my co-workers. yep. gotta hope the state governments will fall in line and order mass shutdowns.
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Mar 15, 2020 21:39
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i noticed a while ago that ohio seems to be taking things more seriously than you would expect
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Mar 15, 2020 21:39
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sweet thursday posted:It's been a hard day arguing with my family, my employer, my union exec, and my co-workers. your only hope is to lock yourself in the bathroom in one of those sick bubble tents. godspeed soldier.
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Mar 15, 2020 21:40
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Sirotan posted:https://twitter.com/BreakingNews/status/1239278479834861571 Yep. Illinois just did the same. I can only imagine this will drastically increase the hoarding.
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Mar 15, 2020 21:42
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Mulaney Power Move posted:i noticed a while ago that ohio seems to be taking things more seriously than you would expect I imagine republican governors become very motivated to take this seriously once they’re informed of the risk to their geriatric voter base.
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Mar 15, 2020 21:43
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Sirotan posted:https://twitter.com/BreakingNews/status/1239278479834861571 I know I shouldn't read the replies........
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Mar 15, 2020 21:44
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death loves irony for instance, the people spamming this dumb poo poo on social media are 100% the demographic that this thing snuffs out 
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Mar 15, 2020 21:45
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Philthy posted:has anyone figured out how long it would take to run out of porn? I think it's probably like youtube where they produce several days of new content every hour so you will never have time to watch it all. Maybe you can run out eventually if you're a hardcore multiboxer and build a giant wall of TVs.
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Mar 15, 2020 21:47
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The Curevac CEO, the investors, and the German goverment all gave a big old "NEIN." to Trump today regarding this.
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Mar 15, 2020 21:47
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Blaise330 posted:I know I shouldn't read the replies........ Eh couldn't help myself  Today they came for Hooters, tomorrow they come for our guns.
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Mar 15, 2020 21:47
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Aw, shucks https://twitter.com/MachoorTV/status/1239220386153345029
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Mar 15, 2020 21:48
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It's all jokes until Reptile sneezes on you.
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Mar 15, 2020 21:49
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But what about the King of Iron Fist tournament?
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Mar 15, 2020 21:50
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Pakistani politics posted:Preview of top baby names for 2021 Ronnie
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Mar 15, 2020 21:50
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CptAwesome posted:But what about the King of Iron Fist tournament? We're so not getting any crossover games this year. Dunno if I want Capcom vs Capcom or Marvel vs Marvel more.
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Mar 15, 2020 21:53
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I've been thinking a lot about something. My whole life people have been telling me to stop playing with myself, but it turns out right now my dick is the safest thing on the planet to touch
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Mar 15, 2020 21:54
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Zugzwang posted:Few things are more dangerous than dumb smart people. These dipfucks going ~we have a model a bloo bloo bloo~ can't possibly, at this point, model this thing correctly. And their dipfuck ideas assume that herd immunity for this virus is a thing, whereas reinfections from coronaviruses are not uncommon. Meaning herd immunity is a bullshit idea in and of itself, nevermind the fact that a whole bunch of people would get turbo-hosed by this policy along the way even if herd immunity were real. There is little reason to believe that the handful of suspected "reinfections" are real re-infections and not just false positives caused by uninformed testing methods. Calling the risk of re-infection "not uncommon" is just plain wrong.
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Mar 15, 2020 21:54
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My girlfriend is in charge of a massive music group that has like dozens of 70+ people on it and the organization board cancelled rehersals for 2 weeks. I swear to god, in less than 15 minutes a boomer aged 70 emailed a massive wall of text that had: -Metric ton of psuedoscience with "just a flu, bro" seasoning. -How dare you to cancel my [social event you can absolutely live without] while our super competent and trustworthy government saying that it's alright (while literal hundreds dying each day in the EU). And the most teeth gnashing part: -We old folks (70+) in the organization are sturdy stock and will to survive this. (  )Holy poo poo, not in the history of universe "OK, BOOMER" was more appropriate answer than this. I mean, Jesus.H.Christ.
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Mar 15, 2020 21:59
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I GOT A FEVER AND THE ONLY PRESCRIPTION IS actually there really isn't anything except maybe a rare experimental antiviral But seriously I had a fever now 100.5 - 100.7 all day and I'm an elderish goon (49) so rip me (or at least my lung tidal volume for the next month). My only hope is that is if I have it early I can snag one of the still-available ICU beds. The early bird gets the EMCO, bitches!
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Mar 15, 2020 22:00
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Also anyone who posted or posts within three or four posts away from mine is probably infected. I was coughing with every keystroke!
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Mar 15, 2020 22:02
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Illinois and Ohio are going full shutdown Jfc
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Mar 15, 2020 22:05
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I can kinda understand the calculus for casinos wanting to stay open and squeeze their base until the last possible second because one this thing kills all their customers there's absolutely nobody coming up behind to replace them. Sure, younger generations might be just as prone to compulsive gambling behaviors, but they don't have any drat money.
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Mar 15, 2020 22:06
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1SjJxs3muxk it's quite catchy
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Mar 15, 2020 22:07
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Neophyte posted:I GOT A FEVER we need a thread for people with the 'roni only, everyone else gets probated
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Mar 15, 2020 22:08
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Burt Sexual posted:Illinois and Ohio are going full shutdown Jfc As should every other state, like now
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Mar 15, 2020 22:08
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Neophyte posted:Also anyone who posted or posts within three or four posts away from mine is probably infected. I was coughing with every keystroke! Jokes on you, I’m already infected!
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Mar 15, 2020 22:09
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are there any reports from retail goons of ammunition being stockpiled, like more than normal, due to this, or have people not yet thought about how they're going to guard their toilet paper castles?
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Mar 15, 2020 22:10
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Every zombie setting in fiction I have trouble suspending my disbelief that people would let it get out of hand until the whole world has zombies. I kinda buy it now
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Mar 15, 2020 22:11
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mike12345 posted:we need a thread for people with the 'roni only, everyone else gets probated We’re working a subforum idea, no promises though
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Mar 15, 2020 22:11
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This bumpkin is on police watch to keep him from leaving his house: https://www.the-sun.com/news/539494/coronavirus-kentucky-patient-self-isolate-armed-guard/
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Mar 15, 2020 22:13
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yeah. my family in ohio, who had previously been minimizing the outbreak, are now in a panic. grocery stores emptying out. businesses shut down. it also probably doesn't help that the president of the united states is wasting time doing stupid, evil, dumbfuck things like this: https://twitter.com/KBAndersen/status/1239227651027501057
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Mar 15, 2020 22:14
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