UKMT March 2020 - Bojo got the Covo - The Something Awful Forums

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Debate & Discussion > UKMT March 2020 - Bojo got the Covo

Who is your first pick in the deputy leadership race? This poll is closed.
R. Allin-Khan	6	1.60%
R. Burgon	80	21.33%
D. Butler	72	19.20%
A. Rayner	35	9.33%
I. Murray	5	1.33%
P. Flaps	177	47.20%
Total:	375 votes

[Edit Poll (moderators only)]

Oodles: Oct 31, 2005

ThomasPaine posted:

sorry pal we're all on mr bones' wild ride now

More seriously, there's no single day it's 'over'. I imagine that things will begin to transition back to 'normality' once recoveries are outnumbering new cases and we're back below the threshold that can be effectively managed by the health service

So is that where China is now? Allegedly? But I suppose we need to take their cases reported with a pinch of salt.

The highest possible break in snooker in the absence of a foul is 147.

# ? Mar 19, 2020 17:38

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# ? May 25, 2024 00:53

Jaeluni Asjil: Apr 18, 2018; Sorry I thought you were a landlord when I gave you your old avatar!

Oodles posted:

So is that where China is now? Allegedly? But I suppose we need to take their cases reported with a pinch of salt.

I think China had zero new cases yesterday?

# ? Mar 19, 2020 17:38

Aramoro: Jun 1, 2012

Jaeluni Asjil posted:

I think China had zero new cases yesterday?

Thats what they reported, 0 new domestic cases, they had 18 news cases that were people coming in from abroad.

# ? Mar 19, 2020 17:40

Guavanaut: Nov 27, 2009; Looking At Them Tittys
1969 - 1998; Toilet Rascal

keep punching joe posted:

Man I'm glad Boris and all his chums are libertarians, would hate to think that they would use this crisis to push through some authoritarian fash bullshit.

I don't know where anyone got that idea from given that he pissed �600,000 away on some water cannon bullshit that he wasn't even allowed to use.

Unless they meant in the American sense of 'hates taxes, loves spending money on guns.'

Borrovan posted:

Boris Johnson this morning: there will be no restrictive measures in London

Boris Johnson now: the literal tanks rolling down the streets are just to transport oxygen, what is "truck"?

(don't have an article but I'm reliably told that there are literal tanks rolling down the streets of London rn. To transport oxygen. Obviously)

They're oxygen tanks.

# ? Mar 19, 2020 17:42

Biggus Dickus: May 18, 2005; Roadies know where to focus the spotlight.

sassassin posted:

Farm Foods was completely out of tea and coffee.

There are a lot of empty freezers in ours as well.

# ? Mar 19, 2020 17:44

Rockopolis: Dec 21, 2012; I MAKE FUN OF QUEER STORYGAMES BECAUSE I HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO DO WITH MY LIFE THAN MAKE OTHER PEOPLE CRY

I can't understand these kinds of games, and not getting it bugs me almost as much as me being weird

TACD posted:

https://twitter.com/iresimpsonsfans/status/1240630994417455106

Good grief, how many fingers are on this monkey paw?

Stay safe, stay healthy y'all.

# ? Mar 19, 2020 17:44

Nettle Soup: Jan 30, 2010; Oh, and Jones was there too.

Aramoro posted:

We were supposed to get our rescue chickens this week but all the collections are suspended now due to excessive demands, everyone is getting chickens it seems.

I impulse bought some new chickens about a month ago. I just wanted a reason for my purchase to be justified, I didn't expect this!

Edit: ^^

# ? Mar 19, 2020 17:45

Guavanaut: Nov 27, 2009; Looking At Them Tittys
1969 - 1998; Toilet Rascal

# ? Mar 19, 2020 17:48

goddamnedtwisto: Dec 31, 2004; If you ask me about the mole people in the London Underground, I WILL be forced to kill you; Fun Shoe

Borrovan posted:

Boris Johnson this morning: there will be no restrictive measures in London

Boris Johnson now: the literal tanks rolling down the streets are just to transport oxygen, what is "truck"?

(don't have an article but I'm reliably told that there are literal tanks rolling down the streets of London rn. To transport oxygen. Obviously)

The vast majority of streets in London can't actually support modern main battle tanks. Certainly neither of the embankments or any of the main north/south roads could (underground lines, sewers and underground rivers), and I'm willing to bet that utility conduits aren't rated for 70 tons either, turning just about every main road in London into a pretty effective tank trap. I also seriously doubt that any of the road bridges apart from *maybe* London Bridge could support one either.

# ? Mar 19, 2020 17:49

biglads: Feb 21, 2007; I could've gone to Blatherwycke

Friends working at a couple of the bigger hospitals in London have said that clerical staff are being asked to go work as Healthcare Assistants

# ? Mar 19, 2020 17:50

bionic vapour boy: Feb 13, 2012; Impervious to fun.

One of my housemates just informed me that his mate who he had over a few days ago (while i was self isolating, mind) texted this morning to say he was feverish :stonk:

# ? Mar 19, 2020 17:51

ThomasPaine: Feb 4, 2009; We have no compassion and we ask no compassion from you. When our turn comes, we shall not make excuses for the terror.

Oodles posted:

So is that where China is now? Allegedly? But I suppose we need to take their cases reported with a pinch of salt.

The highest possible break in snooker in the absence of a foul is 147.

Yep if China's figures are correct they have essentially come out the other end.

Italy looks like cases are beginning to plateau. And they're what, a fortnight ahead of us. I'd say we've got a good two months, maybe three, before it's 'over', but hopefully we're through the worst of it in one.

# ? Mar 19, 2020 17:52

Jaeluni Asjil: Apr 18, 2018; Sorry I thought you were a landlord when I gave you your old avatar!

Point was made on tv this morning that the deaths we're seeing in the UK now are representative of the position of the spread 2 weeks ago (as it takes that long to die apparently). So we can expect it to get a lot worse over the next few weeks.

# ? Mar 19, 2020 17:54

Cerv: Sep 14, 2004; This is a silly post with little news value.

goddamnedtwisto posted:

The vast majority of streets in London can't actually support modern main battle tanks. Certainly neither of the embankments or any of the main north/south roads could (underground lines, sewers and underground rivers), and I'm willing to bet that utility conduits aren't rated for 70 tons either, turning just about every main road in London into a pretty effective tank trap. I also seriously doubt that any of the road bridges apart from *maybe* London Bridge could support one either.

I want to see someone try to drive a tank over Hammersmith bridge
we all need some entertainment in grim times

# ? Mar 19, 2020 17:55

Guavanaut: Nov 27, 2009; Looking At Them Tittys
1969 - 1998; Toilet Rascal

goddamnedtwisto posted:

The vast majority of streets in London can't actually support modern main battle tanks. Certainly neither of the embankments or any of the main north/south roads could (underground lines, sewers and underground rivers), and I'm willing to bet that utility conduits aren't rated for 70 tons either, turning just about every main road in London into a pretty effective tank trap. I also seriously doubt that any of the road bridges apart from *maybe* London Bridge could support one either.

I'm not sure what you'd need MBTs for in London anyway. There's plenty of actually-it's-not-a-tank infantry fighting vehicles that meet London's military load classification and would be better suited to any kind of civil disorder that doesn't involve that crime family who allegedly has a surface to air missile. You'd only bring in MBTs if you wanted to show off and had no idea what you were doing...

There's going to be one stuck in a sinkhole on Oxford Street tomorrow, isn't there?

# ? Mar 19, 2020 17:58

learnincurve: May 15, 2014; Smoosh

Jaeluni Asjil posted:

Point was made on tv this morning that the deaths we're seeing in the UK now are representative of the position of the spread 2 weeks ago (as it takes that long to die apparently). So we can expect it to get a lot worse over the next few weeks.

Official figures put us running out of beds on the 10th.

# ? Mar 19, 2020 17:59

Wachter: Mar 23, 2007; You and whose knees?

Our fascist dystopia being a Dad's Army-style farce is so perfect for this timeline that it might unlock some kind of cosmic-level achievement

# ? Mar 19, 2020 18:00

Oodles: Oct 31, 2005

ThomasPaine posted:

Yep if China's figures are correct they have essentially come out the other end.

Italy looks like cases are beginning to plateau. And they're what, a fortnight ahead of us. I'd say we've got a good two months, maybe three, before it's 'over', but hopefully we're through the worst of it in one.

Didn�t Italy just report a massive increase in deaths yesterday. It�s cheer me up to be proved wrong.

# ? Mar 19, 2020 18:00

Failed Imagineer: Sep 22, 2018

Jaeluni Asjil posted:

Point was made on tv this morning that the deaths we're seeing in the UK now are representative of the position of the spread 2 weeks ago (as it takes that long to die apparently). So we can expect it to get a lot worse over the next few weeks.

Yeah you can use the 2nd tab of this spreadsheet to extrapolate from current number of deaths to probable current number of cases .

Spoiler: it's a shitload

https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1WHbHH9vymMiV3QJyEns6j8qjM_TbrEhCL0S6nHqXf5o/edit?usp=drivesdk

E: you might have to make a copy to mess around with it yourself

# ? Mar 19, 2020 18:01

goddamnedtwisto: Dec 31, 2004; If you ask me about the mole people in the London Underground, I WILL be forced to kill you; Fun Shoe

Guavanaut posted:

I'm not sure what you'd need MBTs for in London anyway. There's plenty of actually-it's-not-a-tank infantry fighting vehicles that meet London's military load classification and would be better suited to any kind of civil disorder that doesn't involve that crime family who allegedly has a surface to air missile. You'd only bring in MBTs if you wanted to show off and had no idea what you were doing...

There's going to be one stuck in a sinkhole on Oxford Street tomorrow, isn't there?

They *did* just spend a lot of time and money reinforcing Oxford Circus...

# ? Mar 19, 2020 18:01

Bardeh: Dec 2, 2004; Fun Shoe

Oodles posted:

Didn�t Italy just report a massive increase in deaths yesterday. It�s cheer me up to be proved wrong.

Yes, but the deaths are delayed as compared to the infection rate. We want to look at the infection rate slowing, and the death rate will naturally follow along with that in time. As far as I can see Italy hasn't yet released their latest numbers though.

# ? Mar 19, 2020 18:02

Aramoro: Jun 1, 2012

goddamnedtwisto posted:

The vast majority of streets in London can't actually support modern main battle tanks. Certainly neither of the embankments or any of the main north/south roads could (underground lines, sewers and underground rivers), and I'm willing to bet that utility conduits aren't rated for 70 tons either, turning just about every main road in London into a pretty effective tank trap. I also seriously doubt that any of the road bridges apart from *maybe* London Bridge could support one either.

Big tanks have quite low ground pressure, about half of that of a normal car so driving round the streets would be pretty much fine. Bridges would be an issue though.

# ? Mar 19, 2020 18:03

thespaceinvader: Mar 30, 2011; The slightest touch from a Gol-Shogeg will result in Instant Death!

Let's hope we don't ever go back to normal.

Normal has been shite for longer than I've been alive and turbo-mega-shite for the last decade.

Let's make it loving BETTER.

# ? Mar 19, 2020 18:04

ThomasPaine: Feb 4, 2009; We have no compassion and we ask no compassion from you. When our turn comes, we shall not make excuses for the terror.

Oodles posted:

Didn’t Italy just report a massive increase in deaths yesterday. It’s cheer me up to be proved wrong.

Cases are more important than deaths as a stat here and it looks like they're just about beginning to level off. There was another jump in the last figures though so it may just be a temporary blip.

# ? Mar 19, 2020 18:05

Barry Foster: Dec 24, 2007; What is going wrong with that one (face is longer than it should be)

If Johnson isn't about to announce a lockdown in London he is making a colossal mistake.

# ? Mar 19, 2020 18:07

baka kaba: Jul 19, 2003; PLEASE ASK ME, THE SELF-PROFESSED NO #1 PAUL CATTERMOLE FAN IN THE SOMETHING AWFUL S-CLUB 7 MEGATHREAD, TO NAME A SINGLE SONG BY HIS EXCELLENT NU-METAL SIDE PROJECT, SKUA, AND IF I CAN'T PLEASE TELL ME TO
EAT SHIT

justcola posted:

If that's not your cup of tea, you could learn CG? Blender is a free tool that's come on a long way last few years, you can do pretty much anything (modelling, sculpting, animation, texturing, compositing etc. etc.) https://www.blender.org/

Blender's amazing and I can't believe it's free, it's extremely good. You can do all kinds of stuff with it, and there's a ton of people doing tutorials for this and that - hell even just watching those might be kinda soothing

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jmir2bDpZA4

if you git gud you can do all kinds of wild stuff with low effort like this guy

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=imkSdlbXB_U

shoutout to crowd dynamics fan Jaeluni, simulate your own boids!

# ? Mar 19, 2020 18:09

Jaeluni Asjil: Apr 18, 2018; Sorry I thought you were a landlord when I gave you your old avatar!

Farm workers urgently needed! (Darn those pesky forinners for running off and leaving us in our hour of need).

https://www.fwi.co.uk/business/coronavirus-urgent-appeal-for-brits-to-work-on-farms

quote:

Coronavirus: Urgent appeal for Brits to work on farms

Industry leaders have issued an urgent plea for British people to work on farms and help feed the nation amid a burgeoning labour shortage due to the coronavirus pandemic.

Some 70,000 seasonal workers are usually required annually on British farms � with many coming from overseas. But travel restrictions and tighter border controls are having a significant effect on the number of people able to travel to the UK.

With the soft fruit harvest due to get fully under way next month, labour provider Hops Labour Solutions said seasonal workers were urgently needed to help pick and process fruit and vegetables on farms and in packhouses.

Farm jobs could provide an income for students, job seekers and anyone who had been laid off work due to the impact of coronavirus.

Hops operations director Sarah Boparan said: �We urgently need a UK labour force which can help harvest crops to feed the nation.�

She added: �At a time when international travel is restricted and people are panic buying due to the Coronavirus, it is crucial that growers can provide enough British produce to our supermarkets and local shops.�

British workers could help support the industry in jobs that are usually filled by EU workers, said Ms Boparan. The organisation was working with the National Federation of Young Farmers� Clubs to help find applicants, she added.

Change in habits
NFU horticulture chairman Ali Capper said changes in eating habits were exacerbating the situation. More people were spending more time at home to reduce their risk of exposure to the virus. This meant they were buying more food from supermarkets rather than eating out.

Prime minister Boris Johnson has already urged shoppers to be sensible after supermarket shelves were left empty by people stockpiling food. This week Mr Johnson was again asked if supplies would last.

�We are absolutely confident our supply chains are working, and will work, and we will get farm to fork food supplies,� he told reporters at a press conference on Tuesday (17 March). �People should have no reason to stockpile or panic buy.�

Former NFU deputy president Guy Smith said the crisis could change the way the UK looks at food security and production. But he added: �This is not the time for the farming industry to seek to take political advantage, it�s time for the industry to ask what it can do to help.�

# ? Mar 19, 2020 18:09

goddamnedtwisto: Dec 31, 2004; If you ask me about the mole people in the London Underground, I WILL be forced to kill you; Fun Shoe

Aramoro posted:

Big tanks have quite low ground pressure, about half of that of a normal car so driving round the streets would be pretty much fine. Bridges would be an issue though.

Most major roads in London effectively are bridges over the aforementioned underground lines, sewers, underground rivers (those last two often the same thing of course) and utility conduits (in the centre of town these can be *huge*, Whitehall for example has the secure telecomms tunnels which are 8'x24' in cross-section). Same problem in just about every major city - remember Trump wanted a May Day-style tank parade on the National Mall? And they had to bring them in on transporters and just park them in front of him? Even Moscow only has that one side of Red Square set up for tanks to parade, they put them on and take them off the transporters at either end.

I mean this is without even getting into standard utility lines and how shallow (and poorly aggregated) they are - water, power and even gas mains collapse all the time under HGV traffic.

# ? Mar 19, 2020 18:10

Guavanaut: Nov 27, 2009; Looking At Them Tittys
1969 - 1998; Toilet Rascal

Barry Foster posted:

If Johnson isn't about to announce a lockdown in London he is making a colossal mistake.

That would be out of character for him.

(Stay safe London.)

# ? Mar 19, 2020 18:12

Jaeluni Asjil: Apr 18, 2018; Sorry I thought you were a landlord when I gave you your old avatar!

baka kaba posted:

Blender's amazing and I can't believe it's free, it's extremely good. You can do all kinds of stuff with it, and there's a ton of people doing tutorials for this and that - hell even just watching those might be kinda soothing

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jmir2bDpZA4

if you git gud you can do all kinds of wild stuff with low effort like this guy

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=imkSdlbXB_U

shoutout to crowd dynamics fan Jaeluni, simulate your own boids!

Cheers! I'll investigate when my brain decides it wants to engage again!

# ? Mar 19, 2020 18:14

Tarnop: Nov 25, 2013; Pull me out

baka kaba posted:

Blender's amazing and I can't believe it's free, it's extremely good. You can do all kinds of stuff with it, and there's a ton of people doing tutorials for this and that - hell even just watching those might be kinda soothing

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jmir2bDpZA4

if you git gud you can do all kinds of wild stuff with low effort like this guy

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=imkSdlbXB_U

shoutout to crowd dynamics fan Jaeluni, simulate your own boids!

Thanks, that looks like fun

# ? Mar 19, 2020 18:18

Subbz: Nov 4, 2008

Workplace just announced a 2month shutdown, only paying 2 weeks wages at 75%, updating after the weekend. Devastated.

# ? Mar 19, 2020 18:19

ThomasPaine: Feb 4, 2009; We have no compassion and we ask no compassion from you. When our turn comes, we shall not make excuses for the terror.

Lockdown for a month or so would honestly be the correct move imho

As long as they allow essential travel please god

# ? Mar 19, 2020 18:19

Aramoro: Jun 1, 2012

goddamnedtwisto posted:

remember Trump wanted a May Day-style tank parade on the National Mall? And they had to bring them in on transporters and just park them in front of him?

That's because the weight is fine, but they annihilate the actual road surface.

# ? Mar 19, 2020 18:19

Renfield: Feb 29, 2008

Spaffer going on about testing for antibodies as if it's real thing yet

# ? Mar 19, 2020 18:20

Jaeluni Asjil: Apr 18, 2018; Sorry I thought you were a landlord when I gave you your old avatar!

ThomasPaine posted:

Lockdown for a month or so would honestly be the correct move imho

As long as they allow essential travel please god

Well a government spokesperson was on tv earlier today saying no chance of shutting down the transport - as he stood outside a firmly closed Covent Garden tube station (9 tubes closed today, another 31 to be closed tomorrow).
Essential travel should be allowed though.

# ? Mar 19, 2020 18:20

baka kaba: Jul 19, 2003; PLEASE ASK ME, THE SELF-PROFESSED NO #1 PAUL CATTERMOLE FAN IN THE SOMETHING AWFUL S-CLUB 7 MEGATHREAD, TO NAME A SINGLE SONG BY HIS EXCELLENT NU-METAL SIDE PROJECT, SKUA, AND IF I CAN'T PLEASE TELL ME TO
EAT SHIT