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Stake me out for the ravens. Let them consume my flesh and return me to the food chain. Edit: okay, that's a weird snipe.
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Mar 28, 2020 17:34
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The only approved funerals are as follows: 1. Cremation by pyre fueled by locally sourced fallen branches and then raked into a garden 2. Rowed into the open sea by a family member and thrown overboard 3. Acid house rave where your ashes are mixed and pressed into ecstasy tabs for 400 of your closest friends
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Mar 28, 2020 17:44
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Just treat my corpse like a car battery, no matter what those dicks at the funeral home say.
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Mar 28, 2020 17:47
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Solice Kirsk posted:The only approved funerals are as follows: I don't have 400 friends who would take e. I do have 4 friends who could be convinced to take 100 each...
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Mar 28, 2020 19:28
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It's closest as in physical proximity, because the rave house only really fits 100 but we're really determined, and if they weren't friends nds yet, they're about to be very closely acquainted.
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Mar 28, 2020 19:42
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Realtalk, the funeral industry is ghoulish in the most literal way possible and should be abolished in its entirety. It's bad enough living takes every penny we have, why should dying be so expensive?
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Mar 28, 2020 19:57
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Screaming Idiot posted:Realtalk, the funeral industry is ghoulish in the most literal way possible and should be abolished in its entirety. It's bad enough living takes every penny we have, why should dying be so expensive? Every family member who's died in my lifetime has been cremated for just this reason. It's cheaper, and less wasteful, and also they're dead and they don't care. Funerals are for the living. The most elaborate burial in the family is my paternal grandparents, whose ashes are sharing a compartment in a decorative wall in the scenic town they lived in and raised their family in for fifty years. We call it their mailbox. It's not the "throw my body into the lion enclosure at the zoo" burial my granddad wanted, but we do what we can.
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Mar 28, 2020 20:07
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Remember in the one bond movie where the French dude dies and the camera immediately cuts to bond tossing his corpse in a dumpster? Same.
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Mar 28, 2020 20:27
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Donate your body to science, it's generally free and you don't go to waste. You'll get to be a crash test dummy or a body farm corpse or labwork for a med student.
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Mar 28, 2020 20:58
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oldpainless posted:Remember in the one bond movie where the French dude dies and the camera immediately cuts to bond tossing his corpse in a dumpster? Same. More like oldsameness.
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Mar 28, 2020 21:16
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I want my body launched at Jupiter and then in a billion years when some space man lands there they'll find my bones and go "what the gently caress?"
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Mar 28, 2020 21:55
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Push El Burrito posted:I want my body launched at Jupiter and then in a billion years when some space man lands there they'll find my bones and go "what the gently caress?" Lands on Jupiter?
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Mar 28, 2020 21:59
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They wouldn't be space men if they were landing on Earth.
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Mar 28, 2020 22:03
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hyperhazard posted:Donate your body to science, it's generally free and you don't go to waste. You'll get to be a crash test dummy or a body farm corpse or labwork for a med student. Unfortunately, that kinda sucks too. Donated bodies are pretty much totally unregulated. It's surprisingly likely some company's going to cut up your body and sell the parts at a massive profit to whoever wants them, regardless of what you specified. Don't want your body used for explosives testing by the military? Tough luck. https://www.reuters.com/investigates/special-report/usa-bodies-business/
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Mar 28, 2020 22:13
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Screaming Idiot posted:Realtalk, the funeral industry is ghoulish in the most literal way possible and should be abolished in its entirety. It's bad enough living takes every penny we have, why should dying be so expensive? A coworker died late last year and we rolled up to the calling hours at the funeral parlor and it was packed, the parking lot was full and we could barely find a spot. Turns out there were three different services happening that night.
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Mar 28, 2020 22:17
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hyperhazard posted:Donate your body to science, it's generally free and you don't go to waste. You'll get to be a crash test dummy or a body farm corpse or labwork for a med student. I'll do this, but only if they promise to do really weird poo poo to my body. Like, sick stuff, the of thing you normally have to look at on bootleg mpegs on TOR-based Russian websites.
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Mar 28, 2020 22:20
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Len posted:A coworker died late last year and we rolled up to the calling hours at the funeral parlor and it was packed, the parking lot was full and we could barely find a spot.
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Mar 28, 2020 22:27
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Hirayuki posted:Yes...? Bigger funeral parlors can and do accommodate far more services than that at any given time. I'm from the rear end end of nowhere and have only seen single service funeral parlors. But it just felt super awkward to walk in and have a guy wearing a suit go "which service are you here for?" and then walking past these crowded rooms to this nearly empty one.
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Mar 28, 2020 22:30
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Karia posted:Unfortunately, that kinda sucks too. Donated bodies are pretty much totally unregulated. It's surprisingly likely some company's going to cut up your body and sell the parts at a massive profit to whoever wants them, regardless of what you specified. Don't want your body used for explosives testing by the military? Tough luck. This was depressing as hell, but also interesting. I assumed keeping the body whole was rare, and I'm cool with being cut up into as many pieces as needed if it helps more people. Less cool with middlemen making money by renting out (wtf) my limbs.
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Mar 28, 2020 23:34
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Len posted:I'm from the rear end end of nowhere and have only seen single service funeral parlors. But it just felt super awkward to walk in and have a guy wearing a suit go "which service are you here for?" and then walking past these crowded rooms to this nearly empty one. same, but like in a big city it make sense, far more people dieing daily then bumfuck virginia
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Mar 28, 2020 23:37
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Screaming Idiot posted:I'll do this, but only if they promise to do really weird poo poo to my body. Like, sick stuff, the of thing you normally have to look at on bootleg mpegs on TOR-based Russian websites. Odds are your body will be subject to military science experiments, which means they blow it up in creative ways in order to either a) build better armor or b) build better explosives.
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Mar 29, 2020 00:02
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Proteus Jones posted:Odds are your body will be subject to military science experiments, which means they blow it up in creative ways in order to either a) build better armor or b) build better explosives. I mean, that sounds pretty metal.
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Mar 29, 2020 09:55
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Only if the armour is made of my body. Psychological warfare, go after the enemy Buffalo Bill style.
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Mar 29, 2020 10:34
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Proteus Jones posted:Odds are your body will be subject to military science experiments, which means they blow it up in creative ways in order to either a) build better armor or b) build better explosives. If my corpse isn't gonna be used to create at least one monsterous abomination that gets blown up by a secret lab's self-destruct mechanism, then what's even the point of dying?
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Mar 29, 2020 10:35
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Mar 29, 2020 11:14
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idgi
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Mar 29, 2020 15:41
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Ramadan sale on swimsuits. During a time when people generally can't go to the beach!
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Mar 29, 2020 16:29
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jojoinnit posted:Ramadan sale on swimsuits. During a time when people generally can't go to the beach! what time of the year do you think ramadan is
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Mar 29, 2020 17:07
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Peanut Butler posted:what time of the year do you think ramadan is what extenuating circumstances might be existing this year to prevent people going to the beach?
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Mar 29, 2020 17:40
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Why does everyone seem to think what the woman is wearing is a swimsuit, nothing makes sense anymore, please help 
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Mar 29, 2020 17:49
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The woman is in lingerie but that dude is either wearing a swimsuit or weird underwear. Even if it's not all wrong, advertising a swimsuit during a global pandemic is at least a little dumb.
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Mar 29, 2020 17:59
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No better time to get a swimsuit on sale then when you can't go to the beach. Idiots you dont even need to wait till winter this year smdh
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Mar 29, 2020 18:10
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JacquelineDempsey posted:Why does everyone seem to think what the woman is wearing is a swimsuit, nothing makes sense anymore, please help i would spend wwwaaaaaaayyyy more time at the beach if that's what swimwear looked like,
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Mar 29, 2020 18:18
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JacquelineDempsey posted:Why does everyone seem to think what the woman is wearing is a swimsuit, nothing makes sense anymore, please help I was looking at him I'm sorry
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Mar 29, 2020 18:32
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Y'all also do realize there are these wild inventions called "pools", many of which are safely, socially-distanced in people's own backyards? I don't even have a pool, but as I type this, my niece is putting on her bathing suit because she's gonna go run through the lawn sprinkler. ...wait, I'm trying to talk to goons, for whom "going outside" is foreign concept. Silly me!
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Mar 29, 2020 18:34
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I think the point is, it's a weird holiday to be advertising lingerie/swimwear for. It's supposed to be a time of spiritual discipline and reflection. Not saying that all (or most) people celebrate it like that, but it's like advertising a Lent sale or something. Eid would be the real party time.
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Mar 29, 2020 18:38
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hyperhazard posted:I think the point is, it's a weird holiday to be advertising lingerie/swimwear for. It's supposed to be a time of spiritual discipline and reflection. Well that's what I thought too, but then some people went on this whole "why would you advertise beachwear during an epidemic" tangent, which was just baffling. I'm gonna go run through the sprinkler too, I need to get off the internet.
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Mar 29, 2020 18:45
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poo poo, we still got snow on the ground here. Enjoy your sprinklers.
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Mar 29, 2020 20:32
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I thought horny was prohibited during Ramadan.
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Mar 29, 2020 20:55
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| # ? May 17, 2024 15:15 |
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You're all invited to my virtual Ramadan lingerie sprinkler party, I"m hosting it on zoom
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Mar 29, 2020 23:25
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