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Dingleberry posted:front-butt buffet junk yard
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Apr 11, 2020 17:38
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Icon Of Sin posted:French contractor gets a surprise fighter jet ride with the French AF, accidentally punches out mid-flight: If you think about it, this is way better than just a ride in a fighter.
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Apr 11, 2020 22:37
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Right?! The idiots were the air force* buddies who all but browbeat him into taking the ride, and especially the one who didn’t tell him about the “”DO NOT PULL” lever (or strap him in right, etc). *countries change, but idiots don’t
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Apr 11, 2020 23:45
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McNally posted:If you think about it, this is way better than just a ride in a fighter.
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Apr 11, 2020 23:56
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Its not great for you thats for sure. It just is a better* option than crashing in a plane *usually
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Apr 11, 2020 23:58
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Casimir Radon posted:Ejection seats have a pretty good chance of loving up you back though, right? Yeah but now he's a member of Martin-Baker's cool tie club.
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Apr 12, 2020 00:08
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How hard do you have to pull on that handle? Five, ten kilograms of pull? You probably don't want it to be too easy.
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Apr 12, 2020 00:17
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http://www.vfp62.com/f14_rio.html Here's the after action report for the same accident but in 2008. It is very good reading
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Apr 12, 2020 00:20
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I heard that this is the idiot thread
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Apr 12, 2020 19:38
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Well now it is
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Apr 12, 2020 19:40
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Is this the idiot thread
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Apr 12, 2020 20:10
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Apr 12, 2020 20:43
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EBB posted:Is this the idiot thread
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Apr 12, 2020 23:30
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Tunicate posted:http://www.vfp62.com/f14_rio.html I'm only in here because McNally made fun of Duzzy but HOLY poo poo McNally posted:Yeah but now he's a member of Martin-Baker's cool tie club. I did not think I had heard of this before but its ringing a bell. Was this in Bud Day's Autobiography? (E: Or Yeager) SquirrelyPSU fucked around with this message at 01:41 on Apr 13, 2020 |
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Apr 13, 2020 01:22
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McNally posted:Yeah but now he's a member of Martin-Baker's cool tie club. Is Martin-Baker going to rules lawyer him out of it, though? Their tie club says "emergency ejections".
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Apr 13, 2020 01:33
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Ugly In The Morning posted:Is Martin-Baker going to rules lawyer him out of it, though? Their tie club says "emergency ejections". Oh man I hope not. Arguably any ejection is an emergency.
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Apr 13, 2020 01:35
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I got shot out of a fighter jet and
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Apr 13, 2020 01:38
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Well traditionally one associated a gift watch with this thing called retirement that used to exist
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Apr 13, 2020 06:44
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Now that I've been made aware that there was an idiot thread around that I was too dumb to look for, I'm happy to report that, after sharpening my knives a little too excessively, it turns out that they are, in loving fact, sharp. Wiped down my cooking surface in the kitchen, casually shoved some things to the side and got a proper white-girl cut on my pinky. Wrapped it in kitchen towels initially to contain the mess until I figured out I still had a metric fuckton of gauze, surgical fleece, adhesive dressing, compressive bandages, wound antiseptic and iodine ointment from my last injury. So now I'm treating it like a GSW at a level I trauma center   It's me. I'm the idiot. Namaste.
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Apr 13, 2020 14:14
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Duzzy Funlop posted:Now that I've been made aware that there was an idiot thread around that I was too dumb to look for, I'm happy to report that, after sharpening my knives a little too excessively, it turns out that they are, in loving fact, sharp. I'm triggered by how much toilet paper you wasted instead of just using a shirt.
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Apr 13, 2020 14:30
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The first strips of kitchen towel were basically to contain the mess and put pressure on it until I could properly treat it, but every single double-folded strip bled right through, so I went through a couple of strips. Let's not judge my post-idiocy idiocy.
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Apr 13, 2020 14:41
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what the gently caress is a white-girl cut? you saw blood and screamed like a bitch?
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Apr 13, 2020 14:47
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I honestly don't know about my choice of term, but in my head it sounded like the equivalent to white-girl-wasted and I went with that. The cut is like an amplified papercut. You know it's not really bad, but it's gonna be annoying as hell for a while. Tip of my pinky is numb, though, so while I apparently didn't hit any tendons or other important poo poo, I struck a nerve, I guess. But boy howdy, am I ever so glad that I'm not on anti-coagulants anymore after a year and a half. I'd probably still be bleeding like a stuck pig this evening.
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Apr 13, 2020 14:53
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Chichevache posted:I'm triggered by how much toilet paper you wasted instead of just using a shirt. That's a paper towel, homie.
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Apr 13, 2020 15:01
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Mr. Nice! posted:That's a paper towel, homie. Its 2020, bro. That's toilet paper in America. I'm a dumb dumb. in my defense, the baby woke me at 4 am.
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Apr 13, 2020 15:10
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America 2020: Everything is toilet paper
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Apr 13, 2020 15:32
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I haven’t seen anyone walking around with just one sleeve, yet.
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Apr 13, 2020 15:35
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Icon Of Sin posted:I haven’t seen anyone walking around with just one sleeve, yet. Waiting for Walmart to report a run on family pack tube socks.
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Apr 13, 2020 16:07
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McNally posted:Oh man I hope not. I asked the company on Twitter if he’s in or not, I’ll update if they answer.
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Apr 13, 2020 16:11
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Diarrhea Elemental posted:Waiting for Walmart to report a run on family pack tube socks. I was on an early morning bus from Spangdahlem to Munich for Oktoberfest and I had to poo poo something fierce. It was one of those hosed-up mushy clay shits that you know is gonna be a nightmare. The only TP the bus had was that John Wayne* one-ply stuff, and I just knew I'd be wiping a bleeding rear end in a top hat and still feeling dirty afterwards if I used that. Not wanting to walk around Oktoberfest with a rocking case of monkeybutt I had to improvise. Fortunately I had a change of underwear, shirt and socks in my backpack and a Leatherman. I quickly converted the socks into strips of absorbent cottony goodness and used them to keep my O-ring sparkly. It worked surprisingly well but I weep for whoever had to pump the tank on that bus, I'm sure I hosed up the guts of it pretty bad flushing those. Upon arriving we got in a tent by 8:30 or so, and I had five of those one-liter beers and a half a chicken. I stood up and immediately started wobbling. My best friend and I took off to go wander and at some point I stumbled forward head-first and inadvertently headbutted the poo poo out of a woman, right in the face. She must have been American or Canadian, because she reeled back yelling "what the gently caress" and my friend, like a good friend should, grabbed my shoulder and shoved us off into the crowd before someone (rightfully) kicked my drunken rear end. So somewhere out there a woman's biggest Oktoberfest memory is a drunk moron headbutting her in the face out of loving nowhere. *Because it's rough, it's tough and it won't take poo poo from anyone
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Apr 13, 2020 16:42
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My squadron sent an E3 TDY for a week or so support some local LFE a few years back. The latrine servicing dudes were on strike or something so anything placed inside would be part of the jet until its return to home station. There's only so much bodily functions can be suppressed on 10 hour sorties, so the combination of poo poo + lots of time baking under the sun on the apron was pretty potent but still not as toxic as the idiot DETCO  .
Guest2553 fucked around with this message at 17:45 on Apr 13, 2020 |
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Apr 13, 2020 17:41
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Wild T posted:I was on an early morning bus from Spangdahlem to Munich for Oktoberfest and I had to poo poo something fierce. It was one of those hosed-up mushy clay shits that you know is gonna be a nightmare. The only TP the bus had was that John Wayne* one-ply stuff, and I just knew I'd be wiping a bleeding rear end in a top hat and still feeling dirty afterwards if I used that. Not wanting to walk around Oktoberfest with a rocking case of monkeybutt I had to improvise. Fortunately I had a change of underwear, shirt and socks in my backpack and a Leatherman. I quickly converted the socks into strips of absorbent cottony goodness and used them to keep my O-ring sparkly. It worked surprisingly well but I weep for whoever had to pump the tank on that bus, I'm sure I hosed up the guts of it pretty bad flushing those. Let's not talk about the second half of that story for a second, but just to recap: You went full recon-style-tactical-squat...at Oktoberfest? 
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Apr 13, 2020 17:58
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Duzzy Funlop posted:Let's not talk about the second half of that story for a second, but just to recap: You went full recon-style-tactical-squat...at Oktoberfest? I mean, if by that you mean "blew up the shitter on a chartered bus to Munich and flushed a torn-up shitsock" then yeah. Edit: I did manage to puke so hard that my nose started spontaneously pouring blood. May or may not have been related to the earlier headbutt incident. Wild T fucked around with this message at 18:39 on Apr 13, 2020 |
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Apr 13, 2020 18:35
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Duzzy Funlop posted:Let's not talk about the second half of that story for a second, but just to recap: You went full recon-style-tactical-squat...at Oktoberfest? In ze autobus I believe. When I was in Egypt back in 2009 (just before poo poo went bananas) we were in Abu Simbel and the traveller's shits finally caught up to me. It's a pretty touristy place with MUCH better bathrooms than the majority of Egypt's cultural sites...except that toilet paper was handed out by the individual square by an extremely crotchety old woman. I tried asking for more before going into the stall, knowing I would need more, and got chewed out. So I go into the stall, blast out what felt like a waterjet from my butthole, wipe with the piddly one square and KNOW there's going to be more than one round. While there's still time pull my pants up, leave the stall, literally pull the roll from the old woman's hand and waddle back into the stall. She chased me into the men's room screaming and banging on the stall door. I slipped 10 egyptian pounds underneath the door and she left me alone to poo poo my brains out in peace.
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Apr 13, 2020 18:42
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Wild T posted:I mean, if by that you mean "blew up the shitter on a chartered bus to Munich and flushed a torn-up shitsock" then yeah. Oh, now it's registering. I figured for a moment that you opted out of taking a poo poo on the bus and then did your secret-squirrel business later on the actual Wiesn. I'm somewhat relieved. Not quite SOF Marine tier, but still  -tier
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Apr 13, 2020 18:43
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Guest2553 posted:My squadron sent an E3 TDY for a week or so support some local LFE a few years back. The latrine servicing dudes were on strike or something so anything placed inside would be part of the jet until its return to home station. There's only so much bodily functions can be suppressed on 10 hour sorties, so the combination of poo poo + lots of time baking under the sun on the apron was pretty potent but still not as toxic as the idiot DETCO Holy gently caress. The lav reeks even after a regular 14 hour sortie. I’ve seen people fill that thing up that a poo peak grows to nearly flush with the seat.
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Apr 13, 2020 19:01
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bloops posted:I’ve seen people fill that thing up that a poo peak grows to nearly flush with the seat. If your last poo poo makes it high enough that no one else can poo poo, does that make you King of poo poo Mountain?
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Apr 13, 2020 19:06
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Up poo poo peak without a, idk, rappel? Saddle? I got nothing.
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Apr 13, 2020 19:07
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bloops posted:Holy gently caress. The lav reeks even after a regular 14 hour sortie. When I was working for the parks ministry in Western Canada I had to restock a couple of high-use ski park outhouses in the winter. There would always be a cone of frozen poo poo sticking out of the hole like a nutty stalagmite. We had a special shovel we used to flatten it down so it wouldn't pierce the butthole of anyone dumb enough to sit flush with the seat.
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Apr 13, 2020 19:15
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From poop knife to poop e-tool
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Apr 13, 2020 19:56
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