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At first I thought the first strip was setting up to bring in Norman Osborne for some convoluted reason, but instead we just got Spidey verbally abusing a fat kid.
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Apr 13, 2020 00:01
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| # ? May 27, 2024 00:19 |
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Another week where Peter traumatizes a child
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Apr 13, 2020 00:12
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Apr 13, 2020 00:39
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It's very on brand for Spiderman to call the one person he needs to make sure to impress a "pimple faced zombie".
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Apr 13, 2020 00:54
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Norman and Airplane Kid need to team up with JJJ. The Terrific Three would destroy Spider-man.
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Apr 13, 2020 05:36
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Spider-Man's egg sack is tucked safely in the corner. Edit: May as well post today's. 
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Apr 13, 2020 06:02
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Johnny Walker posted:
JJJ: Well I think Spider-Man is working with Namor and they're both villains, what do you think, Peter? Pete: No no sir, I can assure you that Spider-Man is working heroically to prevent Namor's evil plot to stop the mass pollution of the oceans!
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Apr 13, 2020 06:31
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if it was a smarter version of jonah, he'd feign interest in environmentalism to emphasize that spiderman is pro-ocean pollution. because he is absolutely pro-ocean pollution, here.
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Apr 13, 2020 09:12
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So.... that Altantean kid's dead now, right?
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Apr 13, 2020 10:29
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Jerusalem posted:So.... that Altantean kid's dead now, right? Yeah he was beaten to death by that lady pretending to be a doctor.
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Apr 13, 2020 11:04
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Jerusalem posted:So.... that Altantean kid's dead now, right? Spoiler from the first page (because the first place I went to source pictures for my mock Patreon): Synthbuttrange posted:Ah fresh new thread smell. *bricks fall*
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Apr 13, 2020 11:42
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gimme the GOD drat candy posted:if it was a smarter version of jonah, he'd feign interest in environmentalism to emphasize that spiderman is pro-ocean pollution. because he is absolutely pro-ocean pollution, here. Nah, JJJ absolutely believes that pollution is a hoax by Big Environment.
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Apr 13, 2020 12:39
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Altantean Child: But Prince Namor, the doctor saved me with New York public hospital technology our futuristic Atlantis science simply can't match! She truly cares for me! Meanwhile, the doctor is telling a nurse to shut the gently caress up because she's uninterested in hearing about the patient now that she's found out Atlanteans don't have insurance.
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Apr 13, 2020 14:15
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Jerusalem posted:Altantean Child: But Prince Namor, the doctor saved me with New York public hospital technology our futuristic Atlantis science simply can't match! She truly cares for me! "Pardon? 'Blue', 'cross'? Oh, you must mean Attuma. Yes, he's permanently angry, but I imagine that is part of being a warlord."
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Apr 13, 2020 14:51
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JJJ's mug is great.
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Apr 13, 2020 21:29
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GokuGoesSSJ3 posted:JJJ's mug is great. You can tell he's got a million of those stuffed in some warehouse from the last time the Bugle tried to produce some "hip" merchandise.
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Apr 13, 2020 21:51
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"Put that down you webbed weasel! I'm drinking out of that!" "Y'know Jameson, I never pegged you for having a sense of humour but this ugly mug with an ugly mug on it is my kind of joke! Hey, can I have one or would I be depriving someone of their retirement gift?"
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Apr 13, 2020 22:12
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 Petey's always angry, always
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Apr 13, 2020 23:59
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Producer: That desk cost $6000! You owe me! Spider-Man: Oh Peter.... the ol' Parker luck strikes again! Producer: .....your name is Peter Parker?
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Apr 14, 2020 00:07
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Peter's attempts at using spidey to make money and have a better life has caused him far more anxiety and anger than any super villain. 
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Apr 14, 2020 01:40
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Jerusalem posted:Producer: That desk cost $6000! You owe me! Spider-Man:... Spider-Man:No! I was cursed by.. an old fortune teller? And her name was... uh, Peter Parker?
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Apr 14, 2020 02:04
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Producer: Sounds unlikely but I greenlit the reboot of Celebrity Squares so what do I know? Spider-Man: Phew, I came really close there to revealing that I, Peter Parker, am secretly Spider-Man!
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Apr 14, 2020 03:54
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Hey, Spider-Man, how come you aren't a Jedi? Nooo
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Apr 14, 2020 05:21
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Kids don't want Spider-Man, they want to watch people eat fire!
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Apr 14, 2020 09:42
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Norman was ahead of his time and told them he wanted somebody who could spit fire, but was left woefully unimpressed by Pyro's lyrical flow.
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Apr 14, 2020 11:24
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I interrupt Spider-Man terrorizing a teenager with today's comic.  "But if I take off my shirt for the doctor he will etc etc"
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Apr 14, 2020 17:29
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Thinking fast, Peter went with the one line he knew would be believable, "I was hit in the head by a brick."
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Apr 14, 2020 17:43
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Saoshyant posted:
I love it.
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Apr 14, 2020 18:54
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So are those suspenders because the artist is now drawing them like a harness to keep Peter's spine aligned with his lower body
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Apr 14, 2020 22:02
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Newspaper Spider-Man, now featuring child abuse
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Apr 14, 2020 23:57
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"I terrorized a child and got an acting gig! Everything's coming up Parker!"
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Apr 15, 2020 00:04
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I have to imagine this is how most acts get on the show. Producer tells them the kid has to approve, the act threatens and coerces the kid to approve, oblivious producer goes along with it, kid never calls for help or goes to authorities because this is the only life he's ever known.
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Apr 15, 2020 00:17
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I like that the producer apparently bought that the kid legitimately changed his mind and wasn't just saying it because he was afraid Spider-Man might throw him off a tall building if he didn't.
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Apr 15, 2020 00:29
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Saoshyant posted:Newspaper Spider-Man, now featuring child abuse JJJ has been right all along. Spider-Man is a menace.
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Apr 15, 2020 01:34
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Only to kids who ask him where is Avengers ID card is.
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Apr 15, 2020 01:36
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 Peter should have just robbed some banks like he was imagining earlier.
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Apr 15, 2020 02:08
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Otherkinsey Scale posted:
At least Derringer or Clyde had fans.
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Apr 15, 2020 03:12
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Saoshyant posted:Newspaper Spider-Man, now featuring child abuse If Peter had taken pictures of this for JJJ, the old man would've bought him a loving house.
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Apr 15, 2020 14:30
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The secret is the producer hates the kid, and wants acts that hate him too. JJJ looks at the photos and just says 'Bah, it just looks like he's saving him from a fire or something. We can't use them."
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Apr 15, 2020 16:32
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| # ? May 27, 2024 00:19 |
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 The photos really doesn't have any relation to getting treatment for your head injury, Peter.
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Apr 15, 2020 18:08
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