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How mad are you going to get when I call your favorite Pokemon unviable?
5: I will set the entire cloud ablaze with the heat of my rage!!!
4: I will be quite rankled, and will have no problem telling you as much!
3: I'll be a little upset, and might debate you on it.
2: Disappointed, but I know my faves are bad.
1: I don't know gently caress about poo poo.
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EorayMel
May 30, 2015

WE GET IT. YOU LOVE GUN JESUS. Toujours des fusils Bullpup Français.
I will just share this right now for the stadium bits ahead:

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FoolyCharged
Oct 11, 2012

Cheating at a raffle? I sentence you to 1 year in jail! No! Two years! Three! Four! Five years! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!
Somebody call for an ant?

It's best quality, aside from the spoiled bit, is that it out of the box chumps lance and his mighty dragons that resist your starter.

MelvinBison
Nov 17, 2012

"Is this the ideal world that you envisioned?"
"I guess you could say that."

Pillbug

Blaze Dragon posted:

I'm pretty sure we all love Articuno for that spoilered bit. It sure as hell isn't great in combat, what with the crippling 4x Rock weakness coupled with all the other weaknesses that come with having the worst type in the game.
Articuno at least was hilarious from Gen 3 on after it got access to both Mind Reader and Sheer Cold.

gourdcaptain
Nov 16, 2012

FoolyCharged posted:

The seafoam islands are just a giant boring walk with some excessively drawn out simple puzzles. Because if you don't use repel it's the exact same thing with minute long random encounters inserted every 3 steps.

I got so lost in them as a kid even with a strategy guide map I gave up, dug out, flew to Palette Town, and surfed south from there to Cinnibar.

girl dick energy
Sep 30, 2009

You think you have the wherewithal to figure out my puzzle vagina?

gourdcaptain posted:

I got so lost in them as a kid even with a strategy guide map I gave up, dug out, flew to Palette Town, and surfed south from there to Cinnibar.
I've seen walkthroughs suggest doing this first.

LiefKatano
Aug 31, 2018

I swear, by my sword and capote, that I will once again prove victorious!!
It's how I've always done it, to be honest.

Little cousin was playing Let's Go Pikachu. He asked me how to get through the Seafoam Islands. I showed him how to get to Articuno specifically. Then he asked how he got to Cinnabar.

I told him, uh, that. I have never, ever done gotten to Cinnabar through the Seafoam Islands.

Also Zapdos best bird don't @ me

Some Numbers
Sep 28, 2006

"LET'S GET DOWN TO WORK!!"

LiefKatano posted:

Also Zapdos best bird don't @ me

Objectively correct.

Serperoth
Feb 21, 2013




gourdcaptain posted:

I got so lost in them as a kid even with a strategy guide map I gave up, dug out, flew to Palette Town, and surfed south from there to Cinnibar.

Wait, is that not the intended way?

MagusofStars
Mar 31, 2012



gourdcaptain posted:

I got so lost in them as a kid even with a strategy guide map I gave up, dug out, flew to Palette Town, and surfed south from there to Cinnibar.

Serperoth posted:

Wait, is that not the intended way?
Yeah, I honestly always thought that was what you’re supposed to do - they already gave you Fly on the way to Fuschia so that when you get Surf, you can take the south from Pallet route to Cinnabar.

gourdcaptain
Nov 16, 2012

MagusofStars posted:

Yeah, I honestly always thought that was what you’re supposed to do - they already gave you Fly on the way to Fuschia so that when you get Surf, you can take the south from Pallet route to Cinnabar.

The strategy guide (which I think was the Prima one) told you to go through Seafoam on the way to Cinnibar the first time.

That place and the Safari Zone are my least favorite bits of Gen 1.

UCS Hellmaker
Mar 29, 2008
Toilet Rascal

LiefKatano posted:


Also Zapdos best bird don't @ me
Its still my best birdo and needs head scritches all the time for being a pretty bird

rannum
Nov 3, 2012

I always went through Seafoam, with the pallet-> cinnabar path just being another of those unintended sequence breaks. Like you just got surf in Fuschia and there is a giant coast line right there, with Seafoam Islands being the Rock Tunnel of the sea except it had a legendary in it.

Then you'd continue to Cinnabar and obviously you'd surf back up to Pallet, completing your loop around the entire region as you had back to Viridian for the final gym. The fact you're able to just fly to Pallet and going the back way to Cinnabar, or even just getting to Cinnabar and flying straight to viridian felt like them forgetting you even had access to the Fly HM.

girl dick energy
Sep 30, 2009

You think you have the wherewithal to figure out my puzzle vagina?
This is part of why I love Gen 1. The entire middle of the game is pretty open. Yeah, there's a default track that you're kind of expected to follow, but aside from the Rocket plot and using certain HMs, you're never actually required to handle things in a certain order. The level ranges are even kind of flattened out in the middle of the game to facilitate this.

magikid
Nov 4, 2006
Wielder of the Soup Spoon
I don't think I've ever heard a dungeon/cave sort of area in Pokemon not described as some degree of terrible. Makes me wonder if there's some way to make them work. Because it does make sense to go to a variety of out-of-the-way places on your Pokemon search, doesn't it?

I bet the lack of tall grass has a lot to do with it. In the field you can basically choose when to deal with encounters, which you can't do when the entire map is encounter tiles. Also obviously HM puzzles can burn to the ground.

dotchan
Feb 28, 2008

I wanna get a Super Saiyan Mohawk when I grow up! :swoon:

PMush Perfect posted:

This is part of why I love Gen 1. The entire middle of the game is pretty open. Yeah, there's a default track that you're kind of expected to follow, but aside from the Rocket plot and using certain HMs, you're never actually required to handle things in a certain order. The level ranges are even kind of flattened out in the middle of the game to facilitate this.

Or because the Gameboy has no input sanitation you could just glitch your way into the Hall of Fame or, if you're a completionist, get 255 Master Balls, walk into the memory, and catch them all (even the non version exclusives) by repeatedly chucking balls into the relevant pointers. :P

girl dick energy
Sep 30, 2009

You think you have the wherewithal to figure out my puzzle vagina?

magikid posted:

I don't think I've ever heard a dungeon/cave sort of area in Pokemon not described as some degree of terrible. Makes me wonder if there's some way to make them work. Because it does make sense to go to a variety of out-of-the-way places on your Pokemon search, doesn't it?

I bet the lack of tall grass has a lot to do with it. In the field you can basically choose when to deal with encounters, which you can't do when the entire map is encounter tiles. Also obviously HM puzzles can burn to the ground.
Sw/Sh's on-map encounters certainly help with making them less unbearable. You can see them coming and try to avoid them, same as anywhere else.

rannum
Nov 3, 2012

magikid posted:

I don't think I've ever heard a dungeon/cave sort of area in Pokemon not described as some degree of terrible. Makes me wonder if there's some way to make them work. Because it does make sense to go to a variety of out-of-the-way places on your Pokemon search, doesn't it?

I bet the lack of tall grass has a lot to do with it. In the field you can basically choose when to deal with encounters, which you can't do when the entire map is encounter tiles. Also obviously HM puzzles can burn to the ground.

I'd say no pokemon dungeon designs really shine, but I think they did at least cap out at "pretty okay". The ygot better at not making them too long, usually having some distinct but not annoying gimmick to them and not being as convoluted as gameboy games are want to do. The latter victory roads (vast poni canyonc can sit in for SM) also try to off set their length by having you go outside the dungeon for a spell, so you deal with grass encounters for a bit as a break.

PMush Perfect posted:

Sw/Sh's on-map encounters certainly help with making them less unbearable. You can see them coming and try to avoid them, same as anywhere else.
Let's Go kind of shows the ideal of this system. I think they do flatten soem of the dungeons a bit but otherwise they're mostly the same but now you have field moves as just A Thing your partner does and you have field encounters all over you can avoid or go for at your leisure.

MagusofStars
Mar 31, 2012



magikid posted:

I don't think I've ever heard a dungeon/cave sort of area in Pokemon not described as some degree of terrible. Makes me wonder if there's some way to make them work. Because it does make sense to go to a variety of out-of-the-way places on your Pokemon search, doesn't it?

I bet the lack of tall grass has a lot to do with it. In the field you can basically choose when to deal with encounters, which you can't do when the entire map is encounter tiles. Also obviously HM puzzles can burn to the ground.
Yep. The absurd encounter rate is certainly part of it. The other part of it is that the games tend to use the caves as a way to justify the existence of certain HM moves and end up way overusing them - even when they aren't true "puzzles", it's still like "ugh, another dang Waterfall, c'mon you already know I have the move, just stop".

girl dick energy
Sep 30, 2009

You think you have the wherewithal to figure out my puzzle vagina?
The quality of this coming update is going to be a little bit lacking. I've recognized that I've hit the point of inertia due to outside factors, and if I don't want the LP to fail entirely (and let Fasslp win again), I need to get things moving even if the quality is lacking. So, lovely update coming today, because it's that or nothing.

fucking love Fiona Apple
Jun 19, 2013

samus comfy so what

It's totally ok to put out shorter updates if that is what you feel comfortable going.

Blaze Dragon
Aug 28, 2013
LOWTAX'S SPINE FUND

loving love Fiona Apple posted:

It's totally ok to put out shorter updates if that is what you feel comfortable going.

Seconded. An update is an update and you're doing this for fun, no need to be so perfectionist!

Kemix
Dec 1, 2013

Because change
Don't strain yourself, an update is an update. It's better to push through than let something stagnate

rannum
Nov 3, 2012

Also even without seeing it I guarantee you it is not going to be nearly as bad as you think it is

FoolyCharged
Oct 11, 2012

Cheating at a raffle? I sentence you to 1 year in jail! No! Two years! Three! Four! Five years! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!
Somebody call for an ant?

I wouldn't blame you if the update in it's entirety read:
I went to some islands. There were some new random encounters and they were all water+ice types. I also walked around in circles for god hows long pushing rocks while nothing else happened.
Then I got to cinnibar and beat blaine. The end.

girl dick energy
Sep 30, 2009

You think you have the wherewithal to figure out my puzzle vagina?
Route 19: Uh-Oh, It's Confused!

A short one this time, because I hate this place and want to get it over with!



Quick question for you, reader? Do you like punching yourself in the face 50% of the time you try to attack? Do you like being swarmed by Pokemon who make sure you do that assault on your own features time and time again? Then oh, boy, is this the update for you!



First, Route 19. There is only one kind of Pokemon you can encounter in the wild on Route 19, and that is Tentacool, ranging anywhere from the laughable level 5, to the astounding level 40, high enough to dodge any Repels you might be using if you aren't laughably overleveled like I am. Surprisingly, though, the high level ones are actually less annoying and dangerous than the low level ones, and that is because of a quirk with how wild Pokemon learn their moves: Whatever level the Pokemon is, it has the four (or up to four) most recently learnable ones.


Learnset courtesy of Bulbapedia, which I slightly prefer over Serebii mostly because the squashed UI is actually good for these kinds of screenshots.

For example, a level 20 Tentacool will know Acid from Level 1, Supersonic from Level 7, Wrap from Level 13, and Poison Sting from level 18. On paper, it makes perfect sense. However, look at the list a little bit more, and you start to see the issue. At level 27, it replaces Supersonic with Constrict, quite literally the lowest-damage move in the game seven generations running. Then, at level 33, it also replaces Wrap with Barrier, a buff move that can be quite useful on a properly kitted-out one. Level 40 Tentacool are actually the least threatening of all, as they don't even have Poison Sting for the chance of percentage-based damage.



That said, even the low level ones aren't exactly easy to run from, given Tentacool's base speed, so you could still end up taking a couple Water Guns from a 40 that gets over your Repel. Or, you know, a combination of confusion, poison, and Wrap-lock. If you're not willing to use a Repel or run constantly, you could have a really bad time on 19.



There are trainers here, too, more than a half-dozen of them, and while they're all avoidable, they're also the only thing to break up the literal 100% Tentacool encounter rate.



They never last long, but points for trying.



And, after some sailing and shitstomping, we get to the real obstacle of the update: Seafoam Islands. This dungeon is, in fact, entirely optional, as you can also get to Cinnabar by just flying to Pallet Town and surfing south. While I don't necessarily think it was intentional, given some of the shaky ground RBY is built on, I'm very glad they didn't do anything to fix it. This place is a nightmare.



There are both Zubat and Golbat here on the first floor, and the Golbat are at a high enough level to have access to both Supersonic and Confuse Ray. This is a minor inconvenience for us, but in Yellow, thanks to a lot of Pokemon in this area being stripped or moved for version exclusivity, that gap in the encounter rate is filled up almost entirely by bats.

'Oh, so PMush's lovely memories of this place are just imported from Yellow.'



Not so much.

There's a wide selection of Pokemon here, including most of the ones I wasted too much of my life fishing for a few updates ago. Psyduck (who still doesn't have any threatening moves), Slowpoke and Slowbro, Horsea, Staryu, and, the King of Motherfucker Mountain, Krabby and Kingler. At 50 and 75 Base Speed, the crabs aren't about to outspeed any Electrics, but if you're trying to train your team evenly, and bring out something slow to fight the Water-type without any kind of decent Special...

:rip:

There's also a new Pokemon here, but we'll get to that in a bit.



First, we need to navigate through Seafoam, and that means it's time for everyone's favorite part of RBY: multi-floor Strength puzzles! That's right, despite not being indicated in any way, all the water in Seafoam is made of rapidly flowing currents. The only way to slow it down is by finding and dropping all the rocks into holes, and hope you didn't miss one, because then you're going to be pushed all over again. And did I mention that the maps are so big and samey that it's extremely easy to get turned around, and finding boulders often means navigating over multiple floors?

This update was stalled for weeks because I wanted to properly show what's needed here, a typical player's process for how they might beat this. I just couldn't bring myself to do it. So, I used a guide. I pushed rocks. I climbed ladders. I saved my sanity.



And I got myself here. The reason this damnedable place exists. This little island, with an extremely good reward. ...but first, I did promise I'd talk about the other new Pokemon here, didn't I?



Seel
Viability: 3.5/5
God, do I want to like Dewgong. It's such a cool Pokemon, with such a great design! None of its stats are awful, it's Water/Ice, a very good typing in Gen 1, and it learns Ice Beam by level up for damage, and Rest for defensive utility. So, what's the problem?

Bluntly? Lapras exists. While none of its stats are Awful, none of them are great, either. Lapras is slightly slower, but it more than makes up for it with 40 more HP and 15 more Attack. That bulk increase is significant, and not only does Lapras learn Ice Beam sooner, it also learns Hydro Pump, Confuse Ray, and Body Slam, giving it much more flexibility in its build. Much like Kangaskhan before it, Dewgong is a Pokemon that would be much more notable if it was available a few badges earlier.

But by now, not only do you have access to Lapras, you've now also got...



The first of the three Legendary Birds that can be gotten without backtracking, Articuno. At Level 50, we won't be able to use it until after we beat Blaine, but you're insane if you think I'm ever coming back here again.

Articuno
Viability: 4.5/5
So, is Articuno worth the trip to the hellhole that is the Seafom Island? In short, yes, with an asterisk.

Two of Articuno's moves, at level 51 and 55, are are Blizzard and Agility. With 120 Base Power, a type that very very few Pokemon actually resist (and many are weak to), 90% accuracy, and a 10% chance to freeze, and thus effectively instantly KO any Pokemon, and all of this coming off of a 125 Special? Articuno is a beast in direct special damage. Additionally, Articuno's good-but-not-great 85 Speed is doubled by Agility, allowing it to be faster than even Electrode. So, with a turn of setup and a touch of luck, Articuno can blast through entire teams, occasionally even freezing its checks and counters solid. 90/100/125 bulk and decent defensive typing is even enough to make getting that Agility off not an impossible prospect. If you want a Pokemon that can use one boost, and then be ready to sweep an entire weakened team without any trouble, Articuno is the bird for you.

Here's the asterisk: Articuno is, once again, something of a one-trick pony. Fly is decent in PvE, but it still only has 70 Base Power, off of an 85 Attack, and its only use is as a way to hit the bulky waters who resist Blizzard. Even then, the damage Fly deals is almost always the same or even less than Blizzard, and without the freeze chance. Said Blizzard will rarely OHKO anything not weak to it, and Articuno's bulk is good, but not good enough to want to deal with protracted slugfests. Paraysis, in particular, either from a bulky Water or Chansey's Thunder Wave or Thunderbolt, or a physical beater's Body Slam, can ruin Articuno's day.

Articuno does not have any terrible Achilles' Heel that ruins its potential as a top-tier threat, but its second two moves might as well be blank. It is a cleaner, a Pokemon who mops up when you've worn down the opponent's team, and it does that with aplomb and without a single TM. A team with Articuno on it will never regret that choice. Just don't expect it to do everything by itself.



It is also the prettiest Gen 1 Pokemon, and no I will not take criticism on this.



Alright, we're done here, leaving now and never coming back.

Next Time on Multi-Track Battling: Insert Brian David Gilbert joke here!

Complete Available Roster
5.0:
4.5:
4.0:
3.5:
3.0:
2.5:
2.0:
1.5:
1.0:
Other:

girl dick energy fucked around with this message at 10:10 on Jan 13, 2021

Seraphic Neoman
Jul 19, 2011


quote:


what the gently caress

girl dick energy
Sep 30, 2009

You think you have the wherewithal to figure out my puzzle vagina?

Seraphic Neoman posted:

what the gently caress
In Gen 1, whether you can use an OHKO is based on current Speed, instead of level. I was reminded of this the hard way.

rannum
Nov 3, 2012

See that update was fine, you worried over nothing and perfectly captured Sea hell and Seaform hell. Please feel free to truncate Victory Road in a similar manner if needed.
Honestly the most jarring thing about this was remembering what the water tileset looked like on that tiny gameboy screen. We put up with a lot back in the day.


Also a fun (?) quirk of the era. Gen 1 pokemon in general tend to have truncated movesets and later game pokemon it becomes especially notable; which makes sense by design sicne there's no move relearner and they didnt expect you to ever get those pokemon earlier but it turns all the bird boss battles into a somewhat goofy thing of their Boss Moveset being an entire 2 moves. Articuno's is Ice Beam and Peck.

and oh man, i cant wait until we get to Moltres so we can talk about that disaster of a movelist.







also yes articuno prettiest bird, best bird, favorite bird

MarquiseMindfang
Jan 6, 2013

vriska (vriska)

PMush Perfect posted:

It is also the prettiest Gen 1 Pokemon, and no I will not take criticism on this.

Nor should you.

Only Ninetales even really comes close.

Blaze Dragon
Aug 28, 2013
LOWTAX'S SPINE FUND

MarquiseMindfang posted:

Nor should you.

Only Ninetales even really comes close.

Ninetales only hits its peak beauty in its Alolan Form though. Articuno is already perfect...although Galarian Articuno is a beauty itself, but in a different way.

WrightOfWay
Jul 24, 2010


Articuno owns, and nuking things with a Blizzard that does more damage than Mewtwo's Psychic is endlessly satisfying.

girl dick energy
Sep 30, 2009

You think you have the wherewithal to figure out my puzzle vagina?
Another asterisk I didn't mention because it was already a lot of words is that Articuno can't do that until Level 55 without a TM, which is after Giovanni. I've still got a very good use for her, but it's worth mentioning.

Simply Simon
Nov 6, 2010

📡scanning🛰️ for good game 🎮design🦔🦔🦔
You forgot to put cold bird in the tier list

Dante Logos
Dec 31, 2010
Catching up with the LP, I remember using a certain glitch to fight and catch the Safari Zone pokes without having to do the RNG dance that is the Safari zone proper. Young me was so proud for figuring out that workaround.

girl dick energy
Sep 30, 2009

You think you have the wherewithal to figure out my puzzle vagina?

Simply Simon posted:

You forgot to put cold bird in the tier list
Blaine's highest level Pokemon is less than 50, so by my own rules, I can't use it yet.

Simply Simon
Nov 6, 2010

📡scanning🛰️ for good game 🎮design🦔🦔🦔

PMush Perfect posted:

Blaine's highest level Pokemon is less than 50, so by my own rules, I can't use it yet.
Ah, sorry, I had forgotten that you organized it by your own rules, not general availability-before-gym. Nevermind then!

ParTwo
Mar 5, 2013

I'm making it rain-Bo!
Articuno has always been my favorite legendary bird and I always try to make it work in a team inevitably at least once per generation. Usually I can't in singles, these days, just in doubles.

Kemix
Dec 1, 2013

Because change
That wasn't so bad an update. Frustrating, yes, because hosed up OHKO moves working like they do in Gen 1, but it was consice and good.

Allosauroidea
Jan 30, 2020

rannum posted:


and oh man, i cant wait until we get to Moltres so we can talk about that disaster of a movelist.


Oh God, I'd forgotten until I saw this, had myself a good laugh when I looked it up. What were they thinking?! :psyduck:

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The Golux
Feb 18, 2017

Internet Cephalopod



But guys, it gets sky attack, that's like, the most powerful bird move! </sarcasm>

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