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I haven't felt suicidal in like 10 years. But poo poo is hosed and continues to get worse. The IRS can't tell me if I'm going to get a Socialism Check or not. The SBA can't tell me if I'm going to get any loans/grants. I'm lucky that my landlord is willing to waive rent and late fees, but I know not many are that lucky. I'm drinking more than I did when the bars were open, even though it's going to put me back in the hospital with pancreatitis if I keep this up. My anxiety that was under control with medication is now through the roof again. And nobody in charge gives a gently caress about us down here in the real world. And I can't even get a hug from my friends. gently caress it all.
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Apr 16, 2020 05:31
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Jerk off and come back with a trip report
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Apr 16, 2020 05:32
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Inverted Icon posted:Jerk off and come back with a trip report Jerked off and drank even more booze
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Apr 16, 2020 05:33
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Stop drinking and jerk off more
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Apr 16, 2020 05:34
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MariHuana edibles seem like a good way to kill the insanity for 12 to 24 hours, depending on how you stagger them.
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Apr 16, 2020 05:35
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That was quick. Uh...dont be down op. Once you sober up, you'll realize that it can't rain all the time, and that if things really do keep getting worse, eventually it'll be so bad that people will Have to start making it better
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Apr 16, 2020 05:35
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smoobles posted:Stop drinking and jerk off more I can't separate the two in this trying time
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Apr 16, 2020 05:35
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It looks to be wrapping up soon, even if that's not the best idea. The spice must flow, etc. Take the next few days to sober the gently caress up and get ready for the reboot. That's my plan anyway.
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Apr 16, 2020 05:36
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Lol I can't remember that last day I haven't wanted to kill myself. You learn to live with it.
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Apr 16, 2020 05:36
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vortmax posted:I haven't felt suicidal in like 10 years. But poo poo is hosed and continues to get worse. The IRS can't tell me if I'm going to get a Socialism Check or not. The SBA can't tell me if I'm going to get any loans/grants. I'm lucky that my landlord is willing to waive rent and late fees, but I know not many are that lucky. I'm drinking more than I did when the bars were open, even though it's going to put me back in the hospital with pancreatitis if I keep this up. My anxiety that was under control with medication is now through the roof again. And nobody in charge gives a gently caress about us down here in the real world. I don't give a gently caress about no virus I'll hug you op. I'll hug you so loving hard.
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Apr 16, 2020 05:38
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vortmax posted:I haven't felt suicidal in like 10 years. But poo poo is hosed and continues to get worse. The IRS can't tell me if I'm going to get a Socialism Check or not. The SBA can't tell me if I'm going to get any loans/grants. I'm lucky that my landlord is willing to waive rent and late fees, but I know not many are that lucky. I'm drinking more than I did when the bars were open, even though it's going to put me back in the hospital with pancreatitis if I keep this up. My anxiety that was under control with medication is now through the roof again. And nobody in charge gives a gently caress about us down here in the real world. Hold on and hold up Everything is bad you are right BUT just like I do you are awfulizing.
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Apr 16, 2020 05:39
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God I miss the feeling of being touched.
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Apr 16, 2020 05:39
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Who What Now posted:Lol I can't remember that last day I haven't wanted to kill myself. You learn to live with it. I lived with it for a long time until I finally beat the evil part of my brain into submission. I don't really want to kill myself now either, but it's starting to seem reasonable.
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Apr 16, 2020 05:39
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TontoCorazon posted:God I miss the feeling of being touched. SERIOUSLY. I didn't do a whole lot of physical contact before but it's really getting to me.
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Apr 16, 2020 05:41
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Everyone else is fine. Just another day trapped in your home without knowing how much longer you will have to do that and with a future full of uncertainty while you watch crazy people demand the government let them die for money. No biggie. Edit: I'm being facetious. It's awful and you are not alone with your anxiety. Murdstone fucked around with this message at 05:43 on Apr 16, 2020 |
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Apr 16, 2020 05:41
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that's really unhelpful guys, i know this is an internet forum to make dumb jokes, but really OP, if you're feeling suicidal, please, reach out, get help. A lot of therapists will do video calls, even before this whole epidemic happened. I know that can be expensive, but some insurance will help / cover all of it. if you're employed but furloughed, a lot of companies have wellness coverage that will get you help. I've been there, i know how dark it can be, but there's always a way out. If you need someone to just talk to, hit me up in DM or something, we can chat.
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Apr 16, 2020 05:42
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vortmax posted:SERIOUSLY. I didn't do a whole lot of physical contact before but it's really getting to me. Just roll around on the carpet or something you freakazoid.
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Apr 16, 2020 05:42
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vortmax posted:SERIOUSLY. I didn't do a whole lot of physical contact before but it's really getting to me. Same
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Apr 16, 2020 05:42
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Aishlinn posted:that's really unhelpful guys, i know this is an internet forum to make dumb jokes, but really OP, if you're feeling suicidal, please, reach out, get help. A lot of therapists will do video calls, even before this whole epidemic happened. I know that can be expensive, but some insurance will help / cover all of it. if you're employed but furloughed, a lot of companies have wellness coverage that will get you help. I've been there, i know how dark it can be, but there's always a way out. If you need someone to just talk to, hit me up in DM or something, we can chat. Thanks, I'm still not exactly suicidal, but I'm starting to remember why I was, which isn't helping.
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Apr 16, 2020 05:44
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vortmax posted:Thanks, I'm still not exactly suicidal, but I'm starting to remember why I was, which isn't helping. Just find something constructive to take your mind off things. Like, yeah, being stuck inside all day erry day has been grinding me down too, but i've found a game i'm enjoying and have put almost 300 hours into it during the course of this mess. Pick up a game, read a book, listen to audiobooks, clean the house, do yardwork, just, be active and it really does help.
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Apr 16, 2020 05:47
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this is a good sign and I hope it makes you chuckle op
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Apr 16, 2020 05:48
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Thank god I have a cat or else I would lose my mind and I am almost a shut in. But not able to go see my family and do simple things like going to a coffee shop to read a book, a library or a museum is driving me nuts. I cannot even try to understand the dread that an extrovert must feel right now.
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Apr 16, 2020 05:49
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I was going kind of nuts but then I went out for a really nice hot dog (pick up only). It cheered me up. Hope I don't get COVID from that trip.
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Apr 16, 2020 05:51
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after some months of isolation everyone else is probably going to be a lot more approachable so there should be a window of opportunity where people dont suck so much. look forward to it
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Apr 16, 2020 05:52
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Crusty Nutsack posted:this is a good sign and I hope it makes you chuckle op This is great and pretty much my life philosophy and I keep trying to remember this while the world burns around me
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Apr 16, 2020 05:52
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 Look at this shithead, getting to just enjoy the sunshine like any other day, not knowing what we are all going through. i think he's just happy that im home all the time to pet him.
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Apr 16, 2020 05:56
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When i think about how I wasted my life since 2005 I want to kill myself too But it might get better. So I don't, I wait and suck it up. It's denial and the knowledge that unexpected good stuff DOES happen in life and it could happen to you.
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Apr 16, 2020 05:56
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should probably get a dog and focus on making sure the dog is happy. combined if the dogs happy is at 100% that will raise your average quite a bit also im listening to college radio a lot and its almost like i forgot that i like hearing new music http://play.impact89fm.org:8000/impact89fm (if you put that in winamp or some other media player it tells you what song is playing) gary oldmans diary fucked around with this message at 06:02 on Apr 16, 2020 |
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Apr 16, 2020 06:00
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TontoCorazon posted:God I miss the feeling of being touched. Some of the more greasy asian massage parlors are still open. You should check it out.
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Apr 16, 2020 06:00
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Aishlinn posted:
Spinz posted:When i think about how I wasted my life since 2005 I want to kill myself too
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Apr 16, 2020 06:01
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coronavirus posted:Some of the more greasy asian massage parlors are still open. You should check it out. How greasy are we talking about here?
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Apr 16, 2020 06:03
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Hanging out a lot with my dog and my bonsai trees. Trying to stay relentlessly creative and read every day. That keeps the beast at bay. Also minecraft.
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Apr 16, 2020 06:06
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First step is to lay off the booze
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Apr 16, 2020 06:06
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Stop drinking alcohol and take up running; you'll feel better. 
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Apr 16, 2020 06:06
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Pawn 17 posted:Stop drinking alcohol and take up running; you'll feel better.
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Apr 16, 2020 06:08
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gary oldmans diary posted:what if he combined them instead? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o7JHjkyRpGc
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Apr 16, 2020 06:10
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Rabid Snake posted:First step is to lay off the booze Pawn 17 posted:Stop drinking alcohol and take up running; you'll feel better. Yeah if only it was so easy to quit drinking. That's not how addiction works. At least I quit smoking two years ago?
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Apr 16, 2020 06:18
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vortmax posted:Yeah if only it was so easy to quit drinking. That's not how addiction works. At least I quit smoking two years ago? It's not easy but possible to cut down appreciably, quitting is for quitters.
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Apr 16, 2020 06:21
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this is unrelated but I briefly had the same AV as you (OP) do because I grabbed it from an AV thread. I saw you had the same one as me and had a more fitting username and text thing and changed mine. Then I participated in an avatar roulette thread and got this one!! anyway, I go out and work about 50 hours a week but my roommate works from home now and is still lazy as poo poo and its frustrating. Like, you're home 24/7 at least do the cooking and dishes god drat. I know I'm the better cook but when I get home from work I'd be fine with some simple hamburger helper poo poo at this point otoh cooking is one of my main hobbies and when I have actual free time I enjoy doing it but a day when I've been at two jobs for a total of 12 hours is not one of those times
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Apr 16, 2020 06:22
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vortmax posted:Yeah if only it was so easy to quit drinking. That's not how addiction works. At least I quit smoking two years ago? Or do both, drunk running! I snagged some writeup from somewhere (maybe here?) thats a knockoff or copy of the Couch to 5K runplan, I can post it if I find it, then you just need Audacity and a few hours to splice running tracks together.
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Apr 16, 2020 06:23
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