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13 Months 28 Days per Month 10 Days per Week And Sunday, which not a day of the week but a once per year Holiday, the actual days of the week are never named anywhere. Note that this is all information outside the main books, from secondary sources.
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Apr 7, 2020 06:05
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MadHat posted:13 Months I thought all of that information was in the appendixes?
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Apr 7, 2020 06:21
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David knew something was up, it wasn’t like him to be called into the office by his bosses boss, she was over everyone in the building...SHE was in CHARGE of the site they were based at, Lifen was under her and David was under Lifen...figuratively but literally a few days prior. He got Claire to cover the desk as he walked down to the office and ignored whoever was on the gym reception right opposite as he knocked on the door. “Enter David, I called for you earlier.” She said, this wasn’t Lifen speaking, this was her boss. David quickly entered the office and shut the door, turning round he saw Lifen at her desk, blushing as he looked to the desk on the left and saw Pooja. Pooja was of Indian descent as far as he could tell but she was very bad with her own culture, she preferred British culture and therefore left her family home when she got the first opportunity. She was about 5’8, she had jet black hair and was quite curvaceous for her height. It didn’t help that she wore a bright white shirt and leather pants that hugged her junk very tightly. Pooja smiled at Lifen as she stood up and walked round to the front of her desk, David being 5’11 looked ever so slightly down at her as Lifen seemed to shift in her chair and point to her rear end behind Pooja’s back. David KNEW that Pooja knew what happened, heck she even saw him leave after he was Lifen’s cushion. She knew that he would be in trouble but how much... “So David, my computer won’t connect to the printer again, can you see if the cable is plugged in.” Pooja smiled. This was not what David was expecting, what was Lifen pointing her own rear end for, he thought he was in trouble. He smiled and nodded at Pooja as he went round her desk and sat on the floor, it was a very tight space with her chair right behind him, the same kind of space he was forced into when he was under Lifen’s rear end. Suddenly, a shadow cast over him as Pooja stood between the opening of her desk and her chair, David didn’t even bother to check the computer to see if there was any issues, it had been Pooja accidentally unplugging the wire by knocking it, in the past so why would now be any different. “David, could you put your head out from under my desk please.” Pooja said as she lowered her chair down. David put two and two together and realised what Lifen meant, of course Pooja wasn’t going to simply ask him to be her cushion but he thought he was in trouble. “Y-Yes Pooja.” David popped his head out from under her desk, directly back as he could see Pooja grinning and Lifen practically face palming behind her desk as Pooja stepped over him with her right leg...HER rear end WAS ABOVE HIM. “So David, I got Lifen to explain to me why you were in the office for 15 minutes after you finished the other day and well...I was very surprised that she told me the truth, I know she gets bad gas from Samosas and I was expecting to come back to an office absolutely reeking of them...” Pooja lowered herself onto David as she spoke. Her rear end practically engulfed his face as it was barely restrained by her leather pants. David could barely breathe under there but he could hear every word that was said as... “Hey Boss, was there something you wanted me for?” A voice said the other side of the office door as David was thankful that the full desk meant that whoever it was, wouldn’t be able to see that he was the cushion of the lady managing the entire building. Pooja sighed as she had called for this person earlier, she paused momentarily as... ppppppPPPPPFFFFRRRRRtttttt She couldn’t believe she’d just farted on David but she wouldn’t normally be concerned with farting on a cushion and right now...David was her CUSHION. “Come in Bekie.” Pooja stayed seated as David got the full brunt of her breakfast gas, she said she had gone and gotten a sausage and egg sandwich and he could smell the grease from it as he gagged, luckily before Bekie entered the office. Bekie was probably the shortest girl out of the trio currently in the office, standing at only 5’0, though she was the loudest in appearance. Sporting a shaved at the sides and slightly messy on the top bright BLUE haircut, it matched her blue eyes perfectly. She was of English descent and currently had on the most rule breaking of uniforms that was most appropriate for working in a gym reception: a tight pair of gym shorts that hugged her toned figure and a thin gym top that matched the shorts. Pooja thought that Bekie would be the best girl to try this on as Claire worked with David all the time. Her plan was to have Bekie punish David without her even realising it was him, through the disguise of a rude customer that Pooja had “kidnapped” and disguised in a suit similar to one under in bondage, disguising all features bar body shape and eyes and mouth. “So Bekie, did you hear about that customer who had some complaints put against them?” Pooja asked. “Huh? No one has complained to me, I hope I didn’t mess up again.” Bekie sighed, only being in the job about a month and she’s already made plenty of mistakes that would’ve got her fired but Pooja thought that Bekie’s cute and slightly stupid nature would attract customers...and she was right, just the kind that came to see her and got her to pick up a pen but they were still customers nonetheless. “Well there’s this one guy who keeps using all the roll to clean the equipment with...for himself, he also double parks a lot, so they complained straight to us in the office rather than to yourself...anyway.” Pooja pauses, she could feel David breathing on her rear end, this was exhilarating for her, only Lifen knew and she would be too shy to say anything. She also felt another bout of gas on it’s way. “Yeah, he sounds like a dick.” Bekie said, forgetting whose company she was in as Pooja laughed and Lifen sighed as she went to speak. “Pooja wants you to administer some punishment for this guy, since he keeps on being a...you know, someone has to teach him a lesson.” Lifen smiled as Pooja tilted her rear end to one side as David went to breathe... BBBBBBBRRRRRRPPPPTTTTT “We want you to use him as a cushion as you do your administrative work and occasionally if you feel the need, let some of your frustrations out on him, that’s what you need to do to punish him.” Pooja smiled as she sat down level, slightly lifting up to give David actual air to breathe besides her gas. Bekie looked shocked for a second and Lifen and Pooja looked at each other before Bekie opened her mouth to speak. “So...I have to sit on his face and fart on him?...um isn’t that going to make him quit the gym?” Bekie asked as Pooja giggled. “Well it might but think of it as corrective measures? I’ll get him set up for your next shift, so don’t be surprised when you see him...okay? Also obviously don’t tell anyone about him, otherwise someone will have to lose their job for using a customer as their personal cushion.” Pooja’s voice turned from her usual nice tone into a sterner tone as Bekie nodded and immediately left the office. Pooja lifted herself up as... BBBBBRRRRRAAAAAUUUUMMMMPPPPPP “Now my rude customer, your mother is probably chatting with Claire, I’ll see you tomorrow and get you set up for your stint as Bekie’s cushion...unless you want to get fired right here?” Pooja giggled as David shook his head, she helped him out of her desk space and held her nose, she knew that those sandwiches were good but gave her the nastiest gas. David exited the office, looking at Bekie as she was filling up her water bottle. “Oh hey, I didn’t see you in there.” Bekie smiled, she was visibly shaking, obviously the prospect of losing her job over using a “costumer” as a cushion had got to her. “Hey, Bekie.” David sighed as when Bekie stood up, he gave her a hug, lucky that she put the top on her bottle. “I was under Lifen’s desk fixing her cables, I heard about that guy, he sounds like a wrong’un.” David chuckled as Bekie giggled. “Yeah, thanks, good job you weren’t under Boss’ desk, it sounded very stinky.” Bekie held her nose playfully as she passed the office and paused as she saw Pooja stood in the open doorway, immediately looking down and going through the door to the gym section to get into the reception opposite the office. Pooja followed David down to the corridor to the door to the main reception area as she smirked. “Nice excuse, see ya tomorrow cushion.” Pooja elbowed him as he gulped and went into the main reception area. He was going to be everyone’s cushion at this rate...
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Apr 7, 2020 06:22
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nankeen posted:<a thing> Okay, I'll bite. This relates to the Wheel of Time how? 
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Apr 7, 2020 06:56
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jng2058 posted:Okay, I'll bite. This relates to the Wheel of Time how? 
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Apr 7, 2020 06:59
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jng2058 posted:Okay, I'll bite. This relates to the Wheel of Time how? It would appear to be an attempt at satirising Robert Jordan’s writing style, but it’s only partially successful because there is no spanking and the female characters don’t tug their braids or cross their hands under their breasts.
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Apr 7, 2020 07:08
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(snip) (USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST) (USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST) Somebody fucked around with this message at 15:38 on Apr 9, 2020 |
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Apr 7, 2020 07:25
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It's fortunate that Jordan wasn't into anything weirder than spanking.
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Apr 7, 2020 07:52
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VikingofRock posted:I thought all of that information was in the appendixes? Should have been more clear I meant in the body of the writing, none of the characters ever mention the information.
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Apr 7, 2020 15:47
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I wonder if the lack of emphasis on days of the week is intentional? For most of history, the specific days of the calendar only really mattered for religious purposes - the Sabbath as a day of rest, or various saints' days or what have you. Normal people didn't have to care about what day it was (aside from the Sabbath) until people started moving to factory/office jobs and everything became more regimented and Fordist. But Randland isn't at that level of technological development yet, and their Church-equivalent is a lot more monastic and uninvolved in everyday religious life. So there's no good reason that normal people ought to care what day of the week it is.
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Apr 8, 2020 07:44
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Vavrek posted:
I swear there was a reference to everyone becoming a year older on a particular holiday, like every Spring Festival everyone gets a year older or something like that. I'm guessing it's not too much of an issue though, really. It's not like someone's going to say "Hey, you're not 21, no wine in the inn."
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Apr 8, 2020 08:38
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seaborgium posted:I swear there was a reference to everyone becoming a year older on a particular holiday, like every Spring Festival everyone gets a year older or something like that. I'm guessing it's not too much of an issue though, really. It's not like someone's going to say "Hey, you're not 21, no wine in the inn." A lot of countries still operate this way where you have like your "public" age and then your actual birth age. I lived in Korea and everyone always looked at me funny because I used my birth age and not my public age and there was a significant gap between the two. In Korea, you are 1 when you are born. So already there's a difference. Then at Lunar New Year, everyone is counted as one year older. I'm a late birthday, so Lunar New Year was only a month or so after my birth, thus making me 2 by the Korean calendar when I was only a month and a half old. So if Jordan did include it, that's kind of a cool reference to real world cultures that sounds made up but was incredibly common at one point in history and is actually still around today but most people in America just aren't familiar with the practice.
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Apr 8, 2020 12:04
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My in-laws celebrate their birthdays on the lunar calendar so that's always an adventure.
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Apr 8, 2020 14:57
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I took her out, it was a... night I said Egwene you are so pretty, Light! We started holding hands and she whispered "Rand" But then I channeled and she screamed And that's about the time she walked away from me Nobody likes you when you're...19? And I'm still more amused by two rivers bows Who the hell is L.T.T.? My friends say I should act my age What's my age again, what's my age again? Brolander fucked around with this message at 17:08 on Apr 9, 2020 |
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Apr 9, 2020 17:06
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Is it it the Third Age again? What's our Age again?
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Apr 10, 2020 04:15
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DarkHorse posted:Is it it the Third Age again? What's our Age again? We're some age pre-Second Age, so I think most speculation has us as the First age. All the explicit references to modern day stuff is said to be older than the Age of Legends (the Mercedes symbol, the stories of Mosk and Merc, Elsbet the Queen of All, Lenn going to the moon in an Eagle made of Fire etc). I think you could probably make an argument for anything except 2nd, 3rd or 4th though. Those are the only ones really nailed down as 'Age of Legends', 'Modern Randland' and 'Industrial Revolution+magic' Zore fucked around with this message at 05:10 on Apr 10, 2020 |
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Apr 10, 2020 05:08
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The quarantine is sure doing some stuff to people's brains.
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Apr 10, 2020 05:11
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Atlas Hugged posted:The quarantine is sure doing some stuff to people's brains. I'm not mad yet
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Apr 10, 2020 16:31
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Brolander posted:I took her out, it was a... night This is really good and now Blink 182 is stuck in my head.
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Apr 10, 2020 17:45
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Mat Cauthon posted:Big sub energy. This post made the following line really stand out in the audio book: Almen Bunt, Ch. 34: The Last Village; The Eye of the World posted:I tell you, there’s a woman makes a man proud to kneel Last thing Rand hears before he falls asleep into nightmares. Talking about Morgase, how great Morgase is, how she doesn't need the White Tower and somehow a three thousand year tradition is too long to keep on with. "I’m a good Queen’s man, but I say let’s stop all this truck with Tar Valon. Three thousand years is long enough. Too long. Queen Morgase can lead us and put things right without help from the White Tower. I tell you, there’s a woman makes a man proud to kneel for her blessing."
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Apr 10, 2020 22:02
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Reading The Dragon Reborn and it's amazing how much is foreshadowed. Also how canny Nynaeve is, like how she immediately suspected Liandrin and figured out a lot of other stuff. All while being oblivious to herself.
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Apr 14, 2020 00:48
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DarkHorse posted:Reading The Dragon Reborn and it's amazing how much is foreshadowed. Also how canny Nynaeve is, like how she immediately suspected Liandrin and figured out a lot of other stuff. All while being oblivious to herself. I'm up to Winter's Heart on my re-read. I'll throw a spoiler tag on the rest, just in case this is your first time. Nynaeve was really great in the early books, but she started to grate on me after The Dragon Reborn. She was in such denial--of her strength, of her intelligence, of her bossiness, of her want to be Aes Sedai--that she became a huge hypocrite. She was constantly berating others for her own failings, projecting her doubts and (perceived) shortcomings on everyone around her. She finally snapped out of it, when she finally got some of that Lan dick, and is back to being one of my favorites. Unfortunately, most of her screentime is shared with Elayne, who is loving insufferable.
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Apr 14, 2020 01:55
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At least even in the early books she kinda understands she’s a hypocrite, she’s just to stubborn to say it out loud. Elayne just leans into recognized plot armor. I don’t think she’s even that bad it’s just she’s boring and has a weirdly large chunk of time dedicated to her.
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Apr 14, 2020 05:31
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I wonder when the first "small voice" speaks to Nyn.
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Apr 14, 2020 22:55
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Brolander posted:I wonder when the first "small voice" speaks to Nyn. But is that her going mad, or a past life, or the boring just her conscience?
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Apr 15, 2020 00:29
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silvergoose posted:But is that her going mad, or a past life, or the boring just her conscience? bluetooth
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Apr 15, 2020 12:36
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Brolander posted:I wonder when the first "small voice" speaks to Nyn. It shows up in her first viewpoint chapter in the Great Hunt, which is, I think, her second viewpoint chapter total. Nynaeve's viewpoint is weird, because her little voice of common sense is almost completely indistinguishable from her little voice of doubt and shame, even in the text, which is why she basically walks face first into every imaginable problem. I also love how she is 100% right about every single piece of Aes Sedai bullshit while being completely incapable of leveraging that knowledge in any way to help herself.
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Apr 15, 2020 22:31
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I love Padan Fain's introduction as a serious villain. "I'm tired of dealing with this Fade, so I'll just nail him to a door."  Also, not long later, this outstanding exchange: Mat: [Freaking out about Rand.] Perrin: "Shut up, Mat." Mat:  Perrin: "Shut up, Mat." Perrin, the voice of reason.
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Apr 16, 2020 15:13
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Voice of reason unless it has anything to do with Faile.
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Apr 16, 2020 15:18
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Look, he's not good with women, not like Rand.
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Apr 16, 2020 15:27
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Vavrek posted:Look, he's not good with women, not like Rand. Light, Rand doesn't understand women, he needs to ask someone who does, like Mat.
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Apr 16, 2020 15:34
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Vavrek posted:Look, he's not good with women, not like Rand. You misspelled Mat.
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Apr 16, 2020 15:40
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The Faile stuff is bothering me a lot less on this re-read. In fact, it's kind of fun (so far) to watch Perrin turn into this Terminator-style implacable force. He's got one goal, and there's nothing on earth that's going to stop him. Berelain is the one that gets my ire, this time around.
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Apr 16, 2020 15:46
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Unfortunately she is possibly the most competent ruler in the series. Galad for her in the end.
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Apr 16, 2020 15:49
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I don’t mind the Shaido stuff but like most of the stuff between books about 9 through 11 it’s been drawn out way too drat long. Just get on with the poo poo. Least it’s finally moving again.
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Apr 16, 2020 15:54
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Submarine Sandpaper posted:Unfortunately she is possibly the most competent ruler in the series. Galad for her in the end. True, but she's also a stalker and borderline sexual predator.
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Apr 16, 2020 15:56
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silvergoose posted:You misspelled Mat. Nobody thinks Mat's good with women in the first two books.
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Apr 16, 2020 16:01
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ConfusedUs posted:True, but she's also a stalker and borderline sexual predator. Must have been inspired by the British
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Apr 16, 2020 16:09
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Vavrek posted:Nobody thinks Mat's good with women in the first two books. Coulda sworn Perrin thinks it at the tuatha'an camp...
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Apr 16, 2020 16:19
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Submarine Sandpaper posted:Unfortunately she is possibly the most competent ruler in the series. Galad for her in the end. Eh, the way she acts makes perfect sense if viewed from the Game of Houses viewpoint, where Faile is a nobles daughter making a political play for an up and coming lordling, and Perrin is a player who keeps signaling his interest for having a politically powerful mistress on the side. It just breaks down when you realize he’s being honest.
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Apr 16, 2020 16:28
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