Law Megathread: the stunner off the top rope that everyone but the defense saw coming

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Ask/Tell > Business, Finance, and Careers > Law Megathread: the stunner off the top rope that everyone but the defense saw coming

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blarzgh: Apr 14, 2009; SNITCHIN' RANDY; Grimey Drawer

GamingHyena posted:

PROSECUTOR: So doctor, when you examined the entrance wound you discovered-

[LOUD UNIDENTIFIED SCREAM]

JUROR 1: I'm sorry your honor, that was my two year old and-

COURT: Juror number seven, it appears on your Zoom that there is an individual in your residence who continuously walks through the door behind you, looks surprised, then leaves and quickly closes the door behind him. For record purposes, I would remind you that you were required to have a dedicated room with reasonable privacy so we could conduct this trial-

JUROR 7: I apologize, your honor. That person is me. My Zoom background is a GIF of me walking in and interrupting my own Zoom meeting.

COURT: Can you change the background to something less distracting?

JUROR 7: How about this?

COURT: The record will reflect the juror changed his Zoom background to what appears to be outer space and-

UNIDENTIFIED VOICE: Hello?

COURT: Is that-

[CROSSTALK]

JUROR 5: I'm sorry, I saw everyone talking and just realized I didn't have the sound on. Can someone tell me what happened for the last ten minutes?

Some call him a prophet, some call him a poet. I call him

Gaming Hyena

# ? Apr 26, 2020 01:03

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# ? Jun 5, 2024 18:07

eviltastic: Feb 8, 2004; Fan of Britches

Kind of humbling to realize that the first jurorcam goatse mistrial will happen on our watch. Maybe we should start a pool?

# ? Apr 26, 2020 01:21

SlyFrog: May 16, 2007; What? One name? Who are you, Seal?

Americans seem to enjoy turning our political elections into American Idol online popularity contests. I see no reason this shouldn't extend to things like deciding imprisonment, large monetary awards, etc.

It's about time we stopped spending so many resources on this "justice" thing, and allowed busy Americans to lock people up while beating off to pornhub sister incest videos on a second monitor.

# ? Apr 26, 2020 05:13

Phil Moscowitz: Feb 19, 2007; If blood be the price of admiralty,
Lord God, we ha' paid in full!

Go away, �batin duty

# ? Apr 26, 2020 10:11

gvibes: Jan 18, 2010; Leading us to the promised land (i.e., one tournament win in five years)

GamingHyena posted:

PROSECUTOR: So doctor, when you examined the entrance wound you discovered-

[LOUD UNIDENTIFIED SCREAM]

JUROR 1: I'm sorry your honor, that was my two year old and-

COURT: Juror number seven, it appears on your Zoom that there is an individual in your residence who continuously walks through the door behind you, looks surprised, then leaves and quickly closes the door behind him. For record purposes, I would remind you that you were required to have a dedicated room with reasonable privacy so we could conduct this trial-

JUROR 7: I apologize, your honor. That person is me. My Zoom background is a GIF of me walking in and interrupting my own Zoom meeting.

COURT: Can you change the background to something less distracting?

JUROR 7: How about this?

COURT: The record will reflect the juror changed his Zoom background to what appears to be outer space and-

UNIDENTIFIED VOICE: Hello?

COURT: Is that-

[CROSSTALK]

JUROR 5: I'm sorry, I saw everyone talking and just realized I didn't have the sound on. Can someone tell me what happened for the last ten minutes?

Microsoft teams has a default background of what I think is the Halo 2 map, Zanzibar. I have been too cowardly to use it as background for a client call yet though.

# ? Apr 27, 2020 23:01

Eminent Domain: Sep 23, 2007

I've been debating hunting down various backgrounds to use for our team meetings on Zoom. Our shelter in place just got extended again so I might as well make it happen.

# ? Apr 27, 2020 23:07

Meatbag Esq.: May 3, 2006; Hmm which internet meme should go here again?

gvibes posted:

Microsoft teams has a default background of what I think is the Halo 2 map, Zanzibar. I have been too cowardly to use it as background for a client call yet though.

I use the one with a mirror in the background, thereby implying I am a vampire because the back of my head does not show up in it.

# ? Apr 27, 2020 23:43

echopapa: Jun 2, 2005; El Presidente smiles upon this thread.

Once shelter in place ends, I�m committing to trying to get myself banned from Zoom by changing my background to Xi Jinping as Winnie the Pooh.

# ? Apr 28, 2020 00:46

Phil Moscowitz: Feb 19, 2007; If blood be the price of admiralty,
Lord God, we ha' paid in full!

https://twitter.com/disneyplus/status/1254772307941191686?s=21

What is this Mickey Mouse bullshit lmao

# ? Apr 28, 2020 02:06

Discendo Vox: Mar 21, 2013; This does not make sense when, again, aggregate indicia also indicate improvements. The belief that things are worse is false. It remains false.

Suggestions for best meeting background to use?

# ? Apr 28, 2020 03:40

Kalman: Jan 17, 2010

Discendo Vox posted:

Suggestions for best meeting background to use?

ICU ward.

# ? Apr 28, 2020 06:19

GamingHyena: Jul 25, 2003; Devil's Advocate

Discendo Vox posted:

Suggestions for best meeting background to use?

# ? Apr 28, 2020 06:28

terrorist ambulance: Nov 5, 2009

Discendo Vox posted:

Suggestions for best meeting background to use?

Interview room from true detective

# ? Apr 28, 2020 13:58

nutri_void: Apr 18, 2015; I shall devour your soul.; Grimey Drawer

You can upload custom backgrounds for MS Teams

# ? Apr 28, 2020 14:27

Look Sir Droids: Jan 27, 2015; The tracks go off in this direction.

Discendo Vox posted:

Suggestions for best meeting background to use?

# ? Apr 28, 2020 14:33

Meatbag Esq.: May 3, 2006; Hmm which internet meme should go here again?

Discendo Vox posted:

Suggestions for best meeting background to use?

Distracted boyfriend meme.

# ? Apr 28, 2020 14:34

BigHead: Jul 25, 2003; Huh?; Nap Ghost

Discendo Vox posted:

Suggestions for best meeting background to use?

There's a stickied thread in GBS with some solid suggestions.

https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3920982

# ? Apr 28, 2020 16:52

Residency Evil: Jul 28, 2003; 4/5 godo... Schumi

And I thought these Telehealth visits were a complete disaster. Glad to hear everyone's dealing with the awful reality of video conferencing.

# ? Apr 28, 2020 20:02

Look Sir Droids: Jan 27, 2015; The tracks go off in this direction.

I've only had to do regular old conference calls so far. Benefit of working in-house, I guess. No one will do anything new unless IT holds their hand with it, and IT has more important things to do.

# ? Apr 28, 2020 20:19

sullat: Jan 9, 2012

We've been told in no uncertain terms we're not allowed to use zoom, just Skype.

# ? Apr 29, 2020 02:40

sincx: Jul 13, 2012; furiously masturbating to anime titties

sincx fucked around with this message at 06:15 on Mar 23, 2021

# ? Apr 29, 2020 06:13

Eminent Domain: Sep 23, 2007

sullat posted:

We've been told in no uncertain terms we're not allowed to use zoom, just Skype.

Cowards.

# ? Apr 29, 2020 08:21

Eminent Domain: Sep 23, 2007

Meanwhile if you want a preview of family law domestic violence practice in this wonderful age of shelter in place...

I think I have had at least three to five different calls where I have had to go "hang up this call and call the goddamn cops".

# ? Apr 29, 2020 19:12

Discendo Vox: Mar 21, 2013; This does not make sense when, again, aggregate indicia also indicate improvements. The belief that things are worse is false. It remains false.

Dustin

Discendo Vox fucked around with this message at 07:38 on Apr 30, 2020

# ? Apr 30, 2020 07:33

Nice piece of fish: Jan 29, 2008; Ultra Carp

Discendo Vox posted:

Suggestions for best meeting background to use?

I just took a photo of myself with the webcam and put that on, then left to grab a snack.

# ? Apr 30, 2020 09:02

IranianLawyer: May 1, 2020; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Hey do any of you guys know anything about Farci?

Oh and I have another question: why do you make the Jews all take the LSAT on the same day? Seriously, looking at LSAT days and like lol guess I know who's showing up on Sunday. Like, why are there even weekend tests?

I'm being serious though, it'd be pretty fun to talk about fatwas (rulings) and Western notions of justice. Find the similarities and differences.

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

# ? May 1, 2020 13:29

Mr. Nice!: Oct 13, 2005; bone shaking.
soul baking.

Looks like Throatwarbler has a new pal!

# ? May 1, 2020 13:43

joat mon: Oct 15, 2009; I am the master of my lamp;
I am the captain of my tub.

Who can't spell either the Persian's natal region or their language and has farcical :rimshot:

attitudes toward Jewish people.
Who, at best, needs to lurk more. Or perhaps should just get stuffed :rimshot:

# ? May 1, 2020 14:26

IranianLawyer: May 1, 2020; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

joat mon posted:

Who can't spell either the Persian's natal region or their language and has farcical attitudes toward Jewish people.
Who, at best, needs to lurk more. Or perhaps should just get stuffed .

I can draw a picture for you. Okay what's the deal with between the shiite and sunni split? Cousins of Muhammad right?

# ? May 1, 2020 14:34

Toona the Cat: Jun 9, 2004; The Greatest

Mr. Nice! posted:

Looks like Throatwarbler has a ~~new pal~~ parachute account!

# ? May 1, 2020 14:36

mastershakeman: Oct 28, 2008; by vyelkin

i thought he was spelling Dr. Fauci's name wrong when I read that first sentence

# ? May 1, 2020 15:14

SlyFrog: May 16, 2007; What? One name? Who are you, Seal?

What fresh hell is this?

# ? May 1, 2020 16:19

blarzgh: Apr 14, 2009; SNITCHIN' RANDY; Grimey Drawer

IranianLawyer posted:

Like, I've been taking LSAT prep tests and I literally think that their logic is flawed sometimes. For instance, a question I got wrong was "A painting was stolen" ==> "A valuable piece of art was removed". I said no, artistic merit is both in the eye of the beholder and the historic context in which it was produced. I don't know if you watched exit through the gift shop, but there's a difference between art and mass produced, focus test,
lowest common denominator trash. Like, in defense of art thieves, unappreciated art is a crime in itself.

# ? May 1, 2020 16:29

blarzgh: Apr 14, 2009; SNITCHIN' RANDY; Grimey Drawer

SV troll account, no question

# ? May 1, 2020 16:29

Hoshi: Jan 20, 2013

Shot:

blarzgh posted:

Chaser:

IranianLawyer posted:

I think I'm smart enough to go to law school. Do I literally have to suck dick to do so.

# ? May 1, 2020 16:31

joat mon: Oct 15, 2009; I am the master of my lamp;
I am the captain of my tub.

IranianLawyer posted:

I can draw a picture for you. Okay what's the deal with between the shiite and sunni split? Cousins of Muhammad right?

I'd love a picture! That would be very sweet.

# ? May 1, 2020 18:26

Discendo Vox: Mar 21, 2013; This does not make sense when, again, aggregate indicia also indicate improvements. The belief that things are worse is false. It remains false.

Buddy if your blowjobs are like your posts, you�re never making T14.

Discendo Vox fucked around with this message at 21:32 on May 1, 2020

# ? May 1, 2020 18:33

Mr. Nice!: Oct 13, 2005; bone shaking.
soul baking.

First day back in the office and I already hate being a lawyer again!

# ? May 1, 2020 19:29

Soothing Vapors: Mar 26, 2006; Associate Justice Lena "Kegels" Dunham: An uncool thought to have: 'is that guy walking in the dark behind me a rapist? Never mind, he's Asian.

blarzgh posted:

SV troll account, no question

lol I wish I was that creative

# ? May 1, 2020 20:54

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# ? Jun 5, 2024 18:07

Jean-Paul Shartre: Jan 16, 2015; this sentence no verb

Discendo Vox posted:

Buddy if your blowjobs are like your posts, you’re never making T14.

Dunno, I got some pretty bad blowjobs back in the day...

# ? May 1, 2020 21:34

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Ask/Tell > Business, Finance, and Careers > Law Megathread: the stunner off the top rope that everyone but the defense saw coming

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