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Thesaurus
Oct 3, 2004


spacemang_spliff posted:

I'm in upstate NY right now. My mother in law passed away unexpectedly this week. Last week she complained of shortness of breath and then was put on oxygen. She died earlier this week. She tested negative for covid but she lived in a nursing home with a number of covid related death, plus the speed at which her condition worsened makes me suspect it was covid. My wife is convinced.

Making funeral arrangements is complicated by everything being closed which is making this even harder.

I live in ks and it's insane how lightly covid is being taken back home.

This sucks

That's terrible, sorry for your loss

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Moongrave
Jun 19, 2004

Finally Living Rent Free

actionjackson posted:

meanwhile he just sits in front of a high-res monitor all day

where's my loving swimming pool then

TraderStav
May 19, 2006

It feels like I was standing my entire life and I just sat down

wtf. this is an international forum, how is all the crazy news happening in my backyard. I spent my first 30 years living right near that Arby's.

I come to this forum to escape my reality damnit! Michigan should NOT be this prevalent!

kater
Nov 16, 2010

1st_Panzer_Div. posted:

So the whole Sweden didn't close and they seem to be not doing differently thing is confusing as gently caress to me. I am assuming the news I'm seeing isn't telling the whole story? Or has Sweden been mostly life as usual this whole time?

of course sweeden closed, nobody loving wants to pump virus piss down their lungs, they just didn't close close, they basically did an america.

spacemang_spliff
Nov 29, 2014

wide pickle
Thanks for the kind words my fellow goons

shovelbum
Oct 21, 2010

Fun Shoe
You asked for it, you got it, the Ultimate Shitpost Reader userscript is back.
Built and tested in Tampermonkey on Chrome, this extension does three things:
1) Eliminates all usernames, avatars, and separations between posts. Pure stream of consciousness baby.
2) Constantly reloads the thread and appends new posts to the bottom.
3) Reads these posts out loud in a random voice from among your text to speech patches

Notes: does not work if no page number is visible in URL, now works with page numbers other than 4 digits

code:
// ==UserScript==
// @name         Ultimate Shitpost
// @namespace    [url]http://tampermonkey.net/[/url]
// @version      0.3
// @description  page number bug fixed
// @author       You
// @include        [url]https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php*[/url]
// @grant        none
// @run-at document-start
// ==/UserScript==

(function() {
    'use strict';

    console.log("RESTARTING!");
    var lastpost = 0;
    var newpage = document.createElement( 'html' );
    var previewPage = pageNumber(document);
    //function quoteScript(){}
    //Returns the page number of thread
    function pageNumber(doc){
        return parseInt(document.URL.split(/(pagenumber=)/)[2])
    }
    function threadId(doc){
        return doc.body.classList[2].slice(7);
    }
    function pages(doc){
        return doc.querySelectorAll("select")[0].length
    }
    //Takes a list of post parent objects and returns the last number
    function findLastPost(posts){
        for (let x of posts){
            var last=parseInt(x.id.slice(4));
        }
        return last
    }
    function refreshIntoFalse(){
        var xhttp = new XMLHttpRequest();
        xhttp.onreadystatechange = function() {
            console.log("Reporting ready state and status:");
            console.log(this.readyState);
            console.log(this.status);
            if (this.readyState == 4 && this.status == 200) {
                newpage.innerHTML = this.responseText;
                var postnumbers = newpage.querySelectorAll("table.post");
                console.log("Whatever the gently caress postnumbers are:");
                console.log(postnumbers);
                //checks each post in new iteration of thread
                for (let x of postnumbers){
                    //checks if post is new
                    var last=parseInt(x.id.slice(4));
                    //processes all new posts
                    if(last > lastpost){
                        console.log("NEW POST FOUND");
                        lastpost=last;
                        var blob = document.getElementById("threadamalgam");
                        var newrow = blob.appendChild(document.createElement("tr"));
                        console.log(x.querySelectorAll("td.postbody"));
                        var post=x.querySelectorAll("td.postbody")
                        var userinfos = post[0].querySelectorAll("td.userinfo, p.editedby, td.postdate, td.postlinks, a.quote_link");
                        for (let x of userinfos){
                            x.parentNode.removeChild(x);
                        }
                        newrow.appendChild(post[0]);
                        var regex = /<.*>/gm;
                        var text = post[0].innerHTML;
                        text = text.replace(regex, '');
                        console.log(text);
                        var speech = new SpeechSynthesisUtterance(text);
                        var voices = window.speechSynthesis.getVoices();
                        speech.voice = voices[Math.floor(Math.random()*voices.length)];
                        window.speechSynthesis.speak(speech);
                    }
                }
                //checks for new page
                console.log("current page:" + previewPage);
                //what page am I on now?
                //what is max page in newpage?
                console.log("max pages currently:" + pages(newpage));
                console.log("Page refreshed and scanned");
                //set page to scan to next page
                if(pages(newpage)>previewPage){
                    previewPage++;
                    console.log("loading page:" + previewPage);
                    console.log("Call due to adding pages");
                    refreshIntoFalse();
                }
                else{
                    setTimeout(refreshIntoFalse, 10000);
                }
            }
        };
        xhttp.open("GET", "https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid="+threadId(document)+"&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber="+previewPage, true);
        xhttp.send();
    }
    //post number of last post on page

    var observation = document.head;
    var observer = new MutationObserver(function(){
        if(document.body){
            document.body.style.visibility='hidden'};
        observer=null;
    })
    observer.observe(observation, {subtree: true, childList: true});
    window.addEventListener('load', (event) => {
        console.log("FULLY LOADED");
        console.log(document.body.style.visibility);
        var userinfos = document.querySelectorAll("td.userinfo, p.editedby, td.postdate, td.postlinks, a.quote_link");
        for (let x of userinfos){
            x.parentNode.removeChild(x);
        }
        var threadamalgam = document.getElementById("thread").appendChild(document.createElement("table"));
        console.log(threadamalgam);
        threadamalgam.id = 'threadamalgam';
        var postnumbers = document.querySelectorAll("table.post");
        lastpost=findLastPost(postnumbers);
        var postbodies = document.querySelectorAll("td.postbody");
        for (let x of postbodies){
            var y = document.getElementById("threadamalgam");
            var newrow=y.appendChild(document.createElement("tr"));
            newrow.appendChild(x);
        }
        var posts = document.querySelectorAll("table.post");
        for (let x of posts){
            x.style.visibility="hidden";
        }
        threadamalgam.className=("post");
        document.body.style.visibility="visible";
        //document.addEventListener("mouseup", quoteScript);
        refreshIntoFalse();
    })


})();

Phi230
Feb 2, 2016

by Fluffdaddy
Thanks I always thought SA wasn't simulating mentally illness enough

Admiral Ray
May 17, 2014

Proud Musk and Dogecoin fanboy
nobody asked for that

Marx Headroom
May 10, 2007

AT LAST! A show with nonono commercials!
Fallen Rib

Admiral Ray posted:

nobody asked for that

capitalism is the most efficient allocation of resources

Atrocious Joe
Sep 2, 2011

Just the flu.
https://twitter.com/toadmeister/status/1263441596219101184?s=20
https://twitter.com/JohnEkdahl/status/1263677276547416072?s=20
https://twitter.com/karol/status/1263661325865058304?s=20

jettisonedstuff
Apr 9, 2006

lol

https://twitter.com/InProportion2/status/1263447468114665472?s=20

https://twitter.com/InProportion2/status/1263451603606147077?s=20

spaceblancmange
Apr 19, 2018

#essereFerrari

lmao

SKULL.GIF
Jan 20, 2017


mexico already has 3000 reported cases for tomorrow

snoo
Jul 5, 2007








source

Comfy Fleece Sweater
Apr 2, 2013

You see, but you do not observe.

mexico cracks top 10 countries by number of coronavirus deaths today, pushing Canada off the list

that’s after various reports that deaths could be 3x as high as the official numbers

Shageletic
Jul 25, 2007

Durf posted:

its probably why they're allowed to keep getting away with this utopian poo poo without the World Bank or whoever swooping in and crushing them

https://twitter.com/guardian/status/1262978026826055682

gently caress this makes me wish i had taken an actually useful area of study so i can move thru NZ's immigration system

Atrocious Joe
Sep 2, 2011

reading the CHUD takes on covid is more exhausting than ever now because they won. They can just accuse everyone concerned about the virus of being hysterical conspiracy theorists.

Bip Roberts
Mar 29, 2005

Trumps Baby Hands posted:



What this poll undersells is that on every single question ~15% of people said either, “I don’t know,” “neither of the fuckers,” “BERNIE *click*,” or “Please help me, my family is dying”

No "Preteens" question, would not respond.

spaceblancmange
Apr 19, 2018

#essereFerrari

Atrocious Joe posted:

reading the CHUD takes on covid is more exhausting than ever now because they won. They can just accuse everyone concerned about the virus of being hysterical conspiracy theorists.

I don't know how or why you put yourself through it.

kater
Nov 16, 2010

https://www.imperial.ac.uk/media/imperial-college/medicine/mrc-gida/2020-05-21-COVID19-Report-23.pdf



shout outs to texas, arizona, colorado, iowa, alabama, wisconsin, mississippi, new mexico, tennessee, and oklahoma for possibly having accomplished nothing at all.

edit: lol

kater has issued a correction as of 05:47 on May 22, 2020

Atrocious Joe
Sep 2, 2011

https://twitter.com/RitaPanahi/status/1263663694589726720?s=20
https://twitter.com/yinonw/status/1263501966933549056?s=20
https://twitter.com/kerpen/status/1263657788246548482?s=20
https://twitter.com/IngrahamAngle/status/1263660386634600448?s=20

we let the cure be worse than the disease

nooneofconsequence
Oct 30, 2012

she had tiny Italian boobs.
Well that's my story.

Florida is now up to 5,103 non-flu pneumonia deaths in less than 4 months, but only 866 covid/pneumonia deaths, along with 300 flu deaths with possible pneumonia or covid comorbidity. The only source I can find for previous years lists combined flu/pneumonia deaths and Florida averages just under 3000 per year. Someone please help me make sense of these numbers. I'm honestly asking. In the last 6 years pneumonia never cracked Florida's top 10 cause of death which has a lower bound of 3000. I feel like I must be reading the numbers wrong or something.

indigi
Jul 20, 2004

how can we not talk about family
when family's all that we got?

how can that last one be true

Epic High Five
Jun 5, 2004



nooneofconsequence posted:

Florida is now up to 5,103 non-flu pneumonia deaths in less than 4 months, but only 866 covid/pneumonia deaths, along with 300 flu deaths with possible pneumonia or covid comorbidity. The only source I can find for previous years lists combined flu/pneumonia deaths and Florida averages just under 3000 per year. Someone please help me make sense of these numbers. I'm honestly asking. In the last 6 years pneumonia never cracked Florida's top 10 cause of death which has a lower bound of 3000. I feel like I must be reading the numbers wrong or something.

they're hiding the deaths op

snoo
Jul 5, 2007




nooneofconsequence posted:

Florida is now up to 5,103 non-flu pneumonia deaths in less than 4 months, but only 866 covid/pneumonia deaths, along with 300 flu deaths with possible pneumonia or covid comorbidity. The only source I can find for previous years lists combined flu/pneumonia deaths and Florida averages just under 3000 per year. Someone please help me make sense of these numbers. I'm honestly asking. In the last 6 years pneumonia never cracked Florida's top 10 cause of death which has a lower bound of 3000. I feel like I must be reading the numbers wrong or something.


Epic High Five posted:

they're hiding the deaths op

nooneofconsequence
Oct 30, 2012

she had tiny Italian boobs.
Well that's my story.

indigi posted:

how can that last one be true
Washington Examiner is a right-wing rag

Burn Zone
May 22, 2004




more people have OD’d in Memphis since the stay-at-home order began than have died from corona (at least according to the official death count).

https://wreg.com/news/drug-overdoses-in-memphis-spike-during-virus-outbreak/

quote:

MEMPHIS, Tenn. — Officials say demand for opioids such as fentanyl has surged during the new coronavirus outbreak in Tennessee’s largest county, where more than 100 people have died of drug overdoses since mid-March.

The health department in Shelby County said 700 drug overdoses and 102 deaths have been reported since March 15, when the county began issuing stay-at-home orders related to the virus response.

Shelby County Health Department Director Alisa Haushalter says overdose deaths have eclipsed the number of fatalities from COVID-19, the disease caused by the virus.

As of Tuesday, 88 people had died from the virus in the county, which includes the city of Memphis.

Zeroisanumber
Oct 23, 2010

Nap Ghost

indigi posted:

how can that last one be true

Probably pared the stats down to a couple counties and reported numbers from mid-March or someshit.

snoo
Jul 5, 2007




any one of these fucks wanna say that the problem is capitalism or nah

Atrocious Joe
Sep 2, 2011

snoo posted:

any one of these fucks wanna say that the problem is capitalism or nah

the problem is the US doesn't have enough capitalism

Epic High Five
Jun 5, 2004



like every single state is going to end up with 10x the normal yearly death totals for pneumonia not related to COVID and big spikes in other stuff like strokes and nobody will even think to revise anything until like 50 years later when every single person responsible is dead

this is only partly attributable to malice, though it's "mostly" in some states, since barring doing something like just declaring a patient a COVID one based on symptoms because no testing is available, good luck catching them all, especially the ones that just die at home

Pepperoneedy
Apr 27, 2007

Rockin' it



nooneofconsequence posted:

Florida is now up to 5,103 non-flu pneumonia deaths in less than 4 months, but only 866 covid/pneumonia deaths, along with 300 flu deaths with possible pneumonia or covid comorbidity. The only source I can find for previous years lists combined flu/pneumonia deaths and Florida averages just under 3000 per year. Someone please help me make sense of these numbers. I'm honestly asking. In the last 6 years pneumonia never cracked Florida's top 10 cause of death which has a lower bound of 3000. I feel like I must be reading the numbers wrong or something.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ogxZxu6cjM&t=80s

i am harry
Oct 14, 2003

Pittsburgh Fentanyl Cloud posted:

Some reddit chud, outright, gave me 70% infected with a 0.33% death rate as an example of how it "isn't that bad"

7.5m dead, not a big deal

Eddie Izzard did a comedy bit about how humans can comprehend and feel a bad number like 5 (murders) but not 5 million.

Atrocious Joe
Sep 2, 2011

Epic High Five posted:

like every single state is going to end up with 10x the normal yearly death totals for pneumonia not related to COVID and big spikes in other stuff like strokes and nobody will even think to revise anything until like 50 years later when every single person responsible is dead

this is only partly attributable to malice, though it's "mostly" in some states, since barring doing something like just declaring a patient a COVID one based on symptoms because no testing is available, good luck catching them all, especially the ones that just die at home

well, you wouldn't want to classify someone who only died with COVID, as someone who died of COVID

1st_Panzer_Div.
May 11, 2005
Grimey Drawer

nooneofconsequence posted:

Florida is now up to 5,103 non-flu pneumonia deaths in less than 4 months, but only 866 covid/pneumonia deaths, along with 300 flu deaths with possible pneumonia or covid comorbidity. The only source I can find for previous years lists combined flu/pneumonia deaths and Florida averages just under 3000 per year. Someone please help me make sense of these numbers. I'm honestly asking. In the last 6 years pneumonia never cracked Florida's top 10 cause of death which has a lower bound of 3000. I feel like I must be reading the numbers wrong or something.

The florida numbers are getting hosed with, 5103 is the upper max if 100% of excess deaths are COVID (they're not), so the guess is between 2100 (official) and 5100 as the actual number.

It's also noteworthy that Florida is now suppressing what they previously reported, which is COVID deaths in January. Transparent reporting would be super beneficial, but seems unlikely.

kater
Nov 16, 2010

nooneofconsequence posted:

Florida is now up to 5,103 non-flu pneumonia deaths in less than 4 months, but only 866 covid/pneumonia deaths, along with 300 flu deaths with possible pneumonia or covid comorbidity. The only source I can find for previous years lists combined flu/pneumonia deaths and Florida averages just under 3000 per year. Someone please help me make sense of these numbers. I'm honestly asking. In the last 6 years pneumonia never cracked Florida's top 10 cause of death which has a lower bound of 3000. I feel like I must be reading the numbers wrong or something.

i have no idea what a chronic lower respiratory disease is but pneumonia might be an it? which florida has 12000 of a year. 5100 through april would still be a lot if that category is big.

a.lo
Sep 12, 2009

florida is sending the corpses to cuba than blaming cuba for the corpses

nooneofconsequence
Oct 30, 2012

she had tiny Italian boobs.
Well that's my story.

kater posted:

i have no idea what a chronic lower respiratory disease is but pneumonia might be an it? which florida has 12000 of a year. 5100 through april would still be a lot if that category is big.
Pneumonia shouldn't be chronic... if you click through you can see that refers to things like bronchitis and emphysema, and influenza/pneumonia is its own category. Lotta old smokers moving to Florida.

A Buttery Pastry
Sep 4, 2011

Delicious and Informative!
:3:

1st_Panzer_Div. posted:

So the whole Sweden didn't close and they seem to be not doing differently thing is confusing as gently caress to me. I am assuming the news I'm seeing isn't telling the whole story? Or has Sweden been mostly life as usual this whole time?
When the Swedish government said "Relax my dudes, it's just the flu" the citizenry looked at the responses in neighboring countries and said "gently caress no, I won't die for you".

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The Saucer Hovers
May 16, 2005

woeh phil kerpin tweets

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