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hyperhazard posted:Is Mormon sex ed this bad? Yes.
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# ? May 21, 2020 21:26 |
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# ? May 25, 2024 14:32 |
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Been lurking in the thread for a while just reading along. Forgot how poo poo this stuff was. So I think I've mentioned my high school buddy who was really into these books. She knew they were bad but it still appealed to her. I liked to let her chatter about it because it was like looking into another world lol. She often remarked that she didn't understand the "love triangle" angle because in her opinion there was never any question about Bella being in love with Edward, and she mostly felt sorry for Jacob because he was just being used as a replacement. This book though. Holy poo poo. It was an entire deal when it came out. One of the local high school moms held a book release party at her home. It reminded me of Harry Potter book release parties except it was all Halloween themed. (Iirc the fourth Twilight book came out in the summer.) The one cool feature about it was that the host had a good idea and put up a projector to show old vampire movies while we ate chips. There were also sheets of paper for us to draw on and decorate. I made sure to spread lots of Edward/Jacob propaganda (I did the cutesy hearts and gigantic bubble letters on the paper sheets to proclaim their OTPness) and iirc I tried to convince one of the high school girls attending the party that homosexual love was the only unselfish form of love because the two parties couldn't abuse each other for children or something lol. Then another mom drove up and she had boxes of the books in her backseat or something. It's fuzzy now, I still don't know why she had them but around 12:30 or 1:00an she was driving up with them and passing them out. To my memory it was very surreal because the middle aged moms were just as into it as their daughters. My only experience with book parties was Harry Potter and then it was my bemused Dad helping me put on the temporary tattoos on my forehead lol. And then my mom picked me up and I went home. My buddy was already reading the book but I made her promise that she would call me when she was done with it. WELL. 8am comes and my cell phone explodes. First with texts and then with her calls. I pick up and hooooleeeee shiiiiiiiiiit she was enraged. "BELLA HAS A BABY" "A...baby?" "YEAH A BABY" "Like in the book?" "YEAH SHE GOT PREGNANT AND HAD A BABY" "But isn't Edward like, dead? How are his balls still working?" "I DON'T KNOW NONE OF IT MAKES SENSE OH MY GOD BELLA HAS A BABY IT WAS SO GROSS" "What do you mean 'gross?'" "STEPHANIE WROTE THE BIRTHING SCENE BUT IT WAS AWFUL" "Like the baby coming out!?" "YEAH BUT SHE MADE IT loving DISGUSTING ITS EVEN WORSE THAN NORMAL OH MY GOD WHAT DID SHE DO TO POOR JACOB" I won't give additional details so as to not ruin the surprise. But that's my earliest memories of this book. Meyer just pushed it too far and the suspension of disbelief couldn't hold up.
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# ? May 21, 2020 21:58 |
Robert Pattinson has said that the birth scene as filmed was originally so graphic that it would have been rated NC-17 without cuts.
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# ? May 21, 2020 22:23 |
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chitoryu12 posted:Robert Pattinson has said that the birth scene as filmed was originally so graphic that it would have been rated NC-17 without cuts. That needs some supporting evidence, there are a lot of “omigod it was soooo gross you guys, no I can’t show it to you but trust me it was so crazy!!!” claims around stuff like that and I’m not going to believe an MPAA evaluation from a man who demonstrably can’t identify a microwave oven.
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# ? May 21, 2020 22:26 |
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Midjack posted:That needs some supporting evidence, there are a lot of “omigod it was soooo gross you guys, no I can’t show it to you but trust me it was so crazy!!!” claims around stuff like that and I’m not going to believe an MPAA evaluation from a man who demonstrably can’t identify a microwave oven.
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# ? May 22, 2020 01:40 |
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I am now stone faced and at the edge of my seat.
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# ? May 22, 2020 02:18 |
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The fetus gets its first taste of Blood and Death™, and bursts ravenously out of Bella's abdomen for more. ...Wait, that's not actually what happens, is it? It's not inconsistent with what little I do know about the birth scene.
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# ? May 22, 2020 04:23 |
Chapter 13: Good Thing I've Got a Strong Stomachquote:Carlisle and Rosalie were off in a flash, darting upstairs. I could hear them debating whether they should warm it up for her. Ugh. I wondered what all house-of-horrors stuff they kept around here. Fridge full of blood, check. What else? Torture chamber? Coffin room? I have shocking news for you about the practicality of refrigerators for storing food! quote:Edward stayed, holding Bella’s hand. His face was dead again. He didn’t seem to have the energy to keep up even that little hint of hope he’d had before. They stared into each other’s eyes, but not in a gooey way. It was like they were having a conversation. Kind of reminded me of Sam and Emily. Gooey. quote:I knew what it was like for Leah, having to see that all the time. Having to hear it in Sam’s head. Of course we all felt bad for her, we weren’t monsters—in that sense, anyway. But I guess we’d blamed her for how she handled it. Lashing out at everyone, trying to make us all as miserable as she was. Oh gently caress off! Leah wasn't "spreading misery" because she had an impulse to "shove the burden" onto other people. She had no choice but to make everyone feel her emotions because they're all connected to a hive mind and she's in a traumatic and depressing situation. Instead of actually trying to understand and help her, the rest of the pack shunned her for not just repressing everything to keep them happy. If Leah was trying to make them all miserable, it would have been a completely justified reaction to them behaving so callously toward what happened to her. Even as he claims he's never blaming her again, he's still blaming her. He's not coming to a true understanding about what her feelings were and how they made her feel worse for having them. He's just blowing her off as wanting to hurt people on purpose to make herself feel better. Especially rich coming from the guy who handled being rejected by his crush by repeatedly sexually assaulting her and threatening suicide to get away with it. quote:Rosalie darted downstairs after a second, flying through the room like a sharp breeze, stirring up the burning smell. She stopped inside the kitchen, and I heard the creak of a cupboard door. ...why do you like that? quote:“Don’t blame me for this one. Your vampire was just picking snide comments out of my head.” "Most of us are pretty terrible a lot of the time, honestly." quote:“And Seth,” she whispered. It's been so long, I forgot it's only been like 6 months in-universe since the events of New Moon. quote:“You don’t have to stay and watch this,” she said, barely mouthing the words. "The person we've all been primed to hate?" quote:“You didn’t tell her?” I asked Edward. There is no reason to be afraid of Leah. quote:“Leah’s not going to bug anyone.” But me. “She’s in my pack”—I grimaced at the words—“so she follows my lead.” Ugh. It's not, but he's actually right for once. He's just picking the wrong way to solve that problem. quote:Bella tried not to smile back for a second, but she couldn’t help it in the end; her chalky lips pulled up at the corners. Now I'm wondering if the Cullens ever brought cups of blood with bendy straws to school. quote:Carlisle hesitated, the hand with the cup half-extended. Bella eyed it, looking scared again. Does anyone know about blood bags coagulating in the fridge? quote:Rosalie put her arm under Bella’s shoulders, supporting her head, too, like you did with a newborn. Blondie was all about the babies. But remember, the Quileute doing the exact same thing is a sign of their primitive emotions and animalistic connection! quote:“No, that’s not it. It’s just that it—” Bella sucked in a deep breath. “It smells good,” she admitted in a tiny voice. No, I don't know how this vampire baby is affecting Bella to make her like blood. It's just how this poo poo works, I guess. quote:I swallowed hard, fighting to keep the disgust off my face. Someone draw this. quote:Bella shoved the straw between her lips, squeezed her eyes shut, and wrinkled her nose. I could hear the blood slopping around in the cup again as her hand shook. She sipped at it for a second, and then moaned quietly with her eyes still closed. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yjdZhknwl2E All of this gets compressed into 3 minutes in the film. We're only 31% through the book. quote:“That’s good,” Blondie repeated, still jazzed. “A good sign.” Sounds pretty obvious to me. quote:“I’ll explain later,” Edward said, so low the words were just a breath. Edward plans on being a liar and manipulator all his life! quote:Bella chugged a few more ounces, staring past us toward the window. Probably pretending we weren’t here. Or maybe just me. No one else in this group would be disgusted by what she was doing. Just the opposite—they were probably having a tough time not ripping the cup away from her. Remember how just a year ago, a single paper cut was enough to make Jasper attempt murder despite decades of attempting self-control? Now an entire cup of blood does nothing! quote:Edward rolled his eyes. "The thought of your sexual abuser thinking he's superior to anyone." quote:“Jacob,” he answered. That's not what a rimshot sounds like! quote:She smiled again, and then took another swig from the cup. I flinched when the straw pulled at empty air, making a loud sucking sound. I hope you're really excited for a Rosalie vs. Jacob rivalry that lasts as long as possible narratively! quote:Meant for me, obviously, but I wasn’t going to let Blondie get to me. I was glad Bella felt better. So what if the means grossed me out? It wasn’t like I’d said anything. I had to check the Twilight Lexicon timeline because this didn't seem to make sense. It's actually only been one day since we picked up from Jacob's perspective. Despite the incredible length of the book, only 2 more days in-universe will pass before we return to Bella's POV! quote:“Get some rest, please,” she went on. “There’re a few beds upstairs—you’re welcome to any of them.” The native has not yet embraced the white man's culture, and thus sleeps outside. quote:Carlisle was back then, and Bella reached out for the blood, absentminded, like she was thinking of something else. With the same distracted expression, she started sucking it down. Meyer can't write any character who isn't perfect without making them utterly insane. quote:“She’s still human, Rosalie. She needs food, too. Let’s give her a little while to see how this affects her, and then maybe we can try some food again. Does anything sound particularly good to you, Bella?” I'm sure Edward has the cucking plan still in the back of his mind. quote:I nodded and then put my hand on Bella’s. Hers was icy cold.
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# ? May 22, 2020 17:00 |
I've brought up a few times how short the timeline of this book is. So far it's been about 1 year in-universe between where we are now and the start of New Moon. We started this series 11 months ago, and with the William Control detour it's been about 9 months of actual posting time. Twilight drags on so much with so few time skips that we're almost witnessing the events of the later three books in real time.
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# ? May 22, 2020 17:07 |
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Having only read summaries and smaller snippets of this part, the potential this part has is frustrating. I like the idea of Bella recognizing and accepting she needs human blood for her and her little monster to survive, but we don’t get her perspective! And honestly I can empathize a little with Rosalie, trying to be there for someone when there isn’t a drat thing you can do to help them otherwise, even overcoming/coping with personal trauma to support the other person. As much as I groaned in dismay when I learned Midnight Sun was getting published, a small part of me would be excited if in all this time Meyer worked to improve her writing and storytelling, maybe even accepting the horror aspects of what she’s written.
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# ? May 22, 2020 18:47 |
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SUPERMAN'S GAL PAL posted:Having only read summaries and smaller snippets of this part, the potential this part has is frustrating. I like the idea of Bella recognizing and accepting she needs human blood for her and her little monster to survive, but we don’t get her perspective! And honestly I can empathize a little with Rosalie, trying to be there for someone when there isn’t a drat thing you can do to help them otherwise, even overcoming/coping with personal trauma to support the other person. I'm real curious to see how different the published version is from the leaked version. I'd assume "not at all" but who knows.
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# ? May 22, 2020 19:59 |
Just enjoy imagining how amazing a self aware author’s take on MS would be. So much room for hilarious off screen Alice and co hijinx
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# ? May 22, 2020 20:18 |
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I'm still wondering how the hell this plot point got past the editors. Of course the fetus wants blood -- literally every fetus ever wants blood because that is how fetuses eat. If Bella is being sucked dry by monsterbaby, the answer isn't to drink some O negative. There's a reason blood transfusions aren't done with styrofoam cups and bendy straws.
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# ? May 23, 2020 00:42 |
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hyperhazard posted:I'm still wondering how the hell this plot point got past the editors. Of course the fetus wants blood -- literally every fetus ever wants blood because that is how fetuses eat. If Bella is being sucked dry by monsterbaby, the answer isn't to drink some O negative. There's a reason blood transfusions aren't done with styrofoam cups and bendy straws. No see this magic vampire baby is just
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# ? May 23, 2020 01:49 |
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Eh, I can go with “vampire abomination wants blood,” what I dislike is everyone being given the idiot ball until Jacob stumbles into the answer. Carsile with the past century alone of new medical knowledge should have been able to parse the fetus needed certain proteins or whatever is in blood and given an IV accordingly. I could even roll with some magical vampire BS were the story told well. In old WoD Vampire you couldn’t eat because your digestive system no longer functioned, but could use the energy blood drinking gave you to do so in order to blend in, which could have consequences down the line. But of course Meyer-pires “don’t change,” so it’s obvious what a plot-driven part this is, because you could argue Carsile isn’t capable of learning/retaining new knowledge. Until he is.
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# ? May 23, 2020 17:44 |
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SUPERMAN'S GAL PAL posted:But of course Meyer-pires “don’t change,” so it’s obvious what a plot-driven part this is, because you could argue Carsile isn’t capable of learning/retaining new knowledge. Until he is. Strict application of that principle would turn this into Vampire Memento.
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# ? May 23, 2020 17:54 |
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Midjack posted:No see this magic vampire baby is just I couldn't help myself.
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# ? May 23, 2020 18:55 |
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hyperhazard posted:I couldn't help myself.
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# ? May 23, 2020 19:57 |
Where is the bendy straw?
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# ? May 23, 2020 20:46 |
hyperhazard posted:I couldn't help myself. Dear Lord who art in Heaven.
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# ? May 23, 2020 20:54 |
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# ? May 23, 2020 21:49 |
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Rathbone is Jasper’s actor, btw
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# ? May 23, 2020 23:05 |
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You know if the fetus was draining Bella's blood (which seems to be the implication of her color coming back), I'm just baffled that Carlisle wouldn't recognize the symptoms of blood loss.
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# ? May 24, 2020 02:20 |
Clearly Bella has injured herself off-screen 19 times in the period of time since she got home and Carlisle and Jasper are at this point so immune to her falling down the stairs spurting blood that they just assumes she's -always- shy of blood, and that's why she's on fluids and they've laid in the supply of O+. They just hadn't thought to give it to her to drink with a bendy straw. That part needed jacob's childlike wisdom to highlight that bendy straws make everything better.
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# ? May 24, 2020 04:53 |
quote:“Dammit,” I snarled, and I threw myself through the door. I hurled my body off the porch, letting the fire rip me apart midair. There was a sharp tearing sound as my shorts shredded. Crap. Those were the only clothes I had. Didn’t matter now. I landed on paws and took off toward the west. Jacob should have brought in the Animorphs to learn how to transform with clothes. quote:What is it? I shouted in my head. Has anyone seriously called their brother "bro" in moments of danger? quote:They’re coming, Seth said nervously. Slow. Walking. Be kind, she's seeing the first vague sense of maturity in you. quote:Four, Seth decided. Kid had good ears. Three wolves, one man. Coming to Pornhub in July! quote:I made the little clearing then, moving immediately to the point. Seth sighed with relief and then straightened up, already in place at my right shoulder. Leah fell in on my left with a little less enthusiasm. These guys are doomed. quote:They came into view a few seconds later, walking, as Seth had thought. Jared in the front, human, hands up. Paul and Quil and Collin on four legs behind him. There was no aggression in their postures. They hung back behind Jared, ears up, alert but calm. Don't worry if you've completely forgotten that Collin even existed. Collin Littlesea and Brady Fuller were the 13-year-olds who became the youngest shapeshifters in the tribe in Eclipse, but were sent to protect the reservation and thus never appeared in the battle with the newborns. He doesn't appear in the movies until Breaking Dawn - Part 1 and is so unimportant that he's not even named in the credits. His actor, Brayden Jimmie, was a non-actor who was an unironic Twilight fan and auditioned so he could be in his favorite series. He filmed his parts over 4 days and seems to have never acted professionally again. I'm also embarrassed to say that I forgot Jared! This big pile of football was played by Bronson Pelletier, of Canadian Metis descent (mixed white and Plains Cree). He's still acting on a limited basis, but earned a stain on his record and the floor of LAX when he was arrested for public intoxication in December 2012 (just a month after the final film's premiere) for drunkenly peeing on the terminal floor. quote:A diversion? Leah thought. Doing their best Bella impression. quote:Jared cleared his throat, and then he nodded to me. “White flag of truce, Jake. We’re here to talk.” Faced with the choice of the "negotiate naked" power move or getting arrested for exposing himself to a minor. quote:“Okay. I guess I’ll just talk, then,” Jared said. “Jake, we want you to come back.” This feels suspiciously like a family telling their son to stop trying to convert to Mormonism and return home. quote:Seth growled. Overreaction? And attacking our allies without warning isn’t? And tranquilized Paul. quote:It was weird how distinct our joint thinking was. The pack was already Sam’s pack, was already “them” to us. Something outside and other. It was especially weird to have Leah thinking that way—to have her be a solid part of the “us.” All right, that's a relatively reasonable compromise. It still doesn't solve the problem of Rosalie inevitably needing to be dismembered to get rid of the baby if it turns out to be dangerous. quote:Though I’d just given Seth crap for it, I couldn’t hold back a small snarl of my own. So they didn’t quite feel comfortable with murder, huh? I don't know if either side is coming out of this looking clean. Objectively, with all the in-universe information that is known to these characters, terminating the child is the right thing to do. Jacob and the Cullens are being incredibly careless in not doing so. But attempting to manipulate Jacob's rage (and then forgetting that Leah was a member of the pack and thus has all of their prior plans in her head when she breaks off) only serves to ruin any chance at a fair negotiation. This is a plot in which every single person has to be doing something dumb for it to move forward. Even the ones who are taking the most heroic actions to prevent the half-vampire child from destroying the town have to be painted as the villains to make their plan seem unreasonable, which means Sam has to start becoming manipulative and evil to do it. quote:“Jake?” Jared asked. Dear lord. Yet another reason for Leah's time in the pack to be really loving lovely and all of her anger to be justifiable. quote:Jared and the others were staring at the place where she’d disappeared into the brush with wary expressions. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zBJU9ndpH1Q quote:“Thanks for talking to me.” As the natives are beholden to their instincts, of course. quote:“So are you all just going to hang out with the parasites for the rest of your lives?” he demanded. “You don’t have a home here. You’re already out of clothes,” he pointed out. “You gonna stay wolf all the time? You know Leah doesn’t like eating that way.” Remember that it's been literally one day since you were convinced that you were going to kill off every Cullen in existence, and you're still on the verge of doing it if Bella dies in childbirth. quote:Seth yelped softly in agreement. Yes, now we get to watch Jared try to talk to every pack member in turn to convince them to leave Jacob when the chapter could have been done already. quote:I snorted. “Right.” Sue was tougher than anyone I knew. Tougher than my dad, tougher than me. Tough enough to play on her kids’ sympathies if that’s what it took to get them home. But it wasn’t fair to work Seth that way. “Sue’s known about this for how many hours now? And most of that time spent with Billy and Old Quil and Sam? Yeah, I’m sure she’s just perishing of loneliness. ’Course you’re free to go if you want, Seth. You know that.” Then realized she just committed a crime by doing so. quote:“So you want to watch out for Seth, I get that,” Jared said. His eyes touched my face and then went back to hers. Probably wondering about that second look—just like I was. “But Jake’s not going to let anything happen to him, and he’s not afraid to be here.” Jared made a face. “Anyway, please, Leah. We want you back. Sam wants you back.” Using your pet name for your ex-girlfriend to convince her to come back to you might be the second worst way to do so. The worst is to have someone else awkwardly deliver it. quote:I waited till she was done. “I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that Leah belongs wherever she wants to be.” Replace "vampire" with "white" and you have something written in the late 19th century. quote:“No, Jared. Homeless at the moment. But don’t worry—this isn’t going to last forever.” I had to take a breath. “There’s not that much time… left. Okay? Then the Cullens will probably go, and Seth and Leah will come home.” Jacob becomes a wandering vagabond werewolf. quote:“What if we need to talk?” Jared asked. Like a lot of reveals Meyer tries to hide, it's not all that groundbreaking or shocking. The following events will be kinda boring, actually. quote:“I’ll let Sam know about your… instructions. Goodbye, Jacob.” "You're the only ones keeping Chris Hansen from showing up here." quote:He nodded and then pressed his nose to my forehead. Leah snorted. Quil looked up, but not at her. He looked back over his shoulder at where the others had gone. Jacob's too old for him. quote:Was that okay? I asked them. It worried me, speaking for them that way, when I couldn’t hear exactly what they were thinking. I didn’t want to assume anything. I didn’t want to be like Jared that way. Did I say anything you didn’t want me to? Did I not say something I should have? Child grooming so strong that it forces tribal loyalty! quote:Really? You think? I doubt Embry would mind shredding some Cullens. Sam is a pragmatic hero that needs to be painted by the author as a villain to keep anyone from becoming too unsympathetic toward the baby. quote:No problem! Seth was only too eager to do whatever he could. You want me to explain to the Cullens? They’re probably still kinda tense. Weren't you guys literally dismembering teenagers a few months ago? quote:They are vampires, I guess, Seth allowed after a minute, compensating for Leah’s reaction. I mean, it makes sense. And if it helps Bella, it’s a good thing, right?
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# ? May 25, 2020 21:40 |
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chitoryu12 posted:Nudity was an inconvenient but unavoidable part of pack life. We’d all thought nothing of it before Leah came along. Then it got awkward. Yeah, as someone who did a bunch of sports in high school, I call bullshit on this. Sure, there's always that one person who doesn't care what they look like, and is fine walking around and chatting, but most everyone looks down at their clothes or turns so they're facing the lockers, or goes into a stall to change underwear. Teenagers are not known for being comfortable with their own bodies.
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# ? May 25, 2020 22:54 |
hyperhazard posted:Yeah, as someone who did a bunch of sports in high school, I call bullshit on this. Sure, there's always that one person who doesn't care what they look like, and is fine walking around and chatting, but most everyone looks down at their clothes or turns so they're facing the lockers, or goes into a stall to change underwear. Teenagers are not known for being comfortable with their own bodies. But hyperhazard, these are the natives! They're hot and emotional and freely expose their bodies to the virgin eyes of our white daughters! Seriously, so much of how the Quileute are handled is a colonialism allegory that would be obviously intentional if Meyer didn't seem so clueless. chitoryu12 fucked around with this message at 01:14 on May 26, 2020 |
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# ? May 25, 2020 23:24 |
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chitoryu12 posted:But hyperhazard, these are the natives! They're hot and emotional and freely expose their bodies to the virgin eyes of our white daughters!
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# ? May 26, 2020 01:10 |
Chapter 14: You Know Things are Bad When You Feel Guilty for Being Rude to Vampires Please, stop, I beg of you. quote:When I got back to the house, there was no one waiting outside for my report. Still on alert? The savage, having finally rejected his native tribe to accept the white man's civilization, is granted the gift of modern clothes. quote:I took the clothes gingerly between my teeth—ugh—and carried them back to the trees. Just in case this was some joke by the blond psychopath and I had a bunch of girls’ stuff here. Bet she’d love to see the look on my human face as I stood there naked, holding a sundress. Even Emmett dresses like a Mormon! quote:I had to admit, I felt better with some clothes to my name, even stinky ones that didn’t quite fit. It was hard not being able to just jet back home and grab another pair of old sweatpants when I needed them. The homeless thing again—not having anyplace to go back to. No possessions, either, which wasn’t bothering me too bad now, but would probably get annoying soon. The Cullens rapidly change the entire house between scenes just to gently caress with Jacob now. quote:Bella didn’t hear me. She only glanced up when he did, and then she smiled, too. With real energy, her whole face lighting up. I couldn’t remember the last time she’d looked so excited to see me. Yeah, why is she so happy to see him? He's awful! quote:Edward seemed to be in agreement with my thoughts—we were on the same wavelength so much lately it was crazy. He was frowning now, reading her face while she beamed at me. "Your thoughts are never safe around me, Jacob. Never." quote:“I’d tell you to go get some sleep,” Bella said, “but my guess is that you’re going to pass out on the floor in about six seconds, so there’s probably no point.” Jacob, their entire thing is that they don't kill humans. How have you missed that this whole time? quote:I headed for the door, counting off the seconds for her as I walked. “One Mississippi… two Mississippi…” "Also friendly reminder that I was raped and murdered by my fiancee" quote:I trudged down the steps, my only goal to drag myself far enough into the trees that the air would be pure again. I planned to ditch the clothes a convenient distance from the house for future use rather than tying them to my leg, so I wouldn’t be smelling them, either. As I fumbled with the buttons on the new shirt, I thought randomly about how buttons would never be in style for werewolves. Not with how this bitch writes. quote:I turned slowly. Edward was already out the door. He had an apology in his expression as he approached me. Is he meant to sound like an out-of-touch rich boy being asked by his mother to feed and clothe the hobos living in the garden? quote:I snorted. Vampire mother hen—bizarre. “We’re tough. Tell her not to worry.” I like how Leah, who's otherwise a pretty reasonable person with reasonable issues, is being written as someone who's so blindly hateful toward the Cullens that she would starve rather than eat their food. quote:“And then there’s the matter of clothes.” The vampires who are meant to avoid drawing attention to themselves use their real names for decades or centuries, always show up everywhere together, drive flashy sports cars in small towns, conspicuously order food that they throw away without eating every day, and wear different clothes every single day while donating barely used outfits to Goodwill? quote:“Not sure how she’ll feel about bloodsucker castoffs. She’s not as practical as I am.” It's like Meyer knows that Leah would be seen as too sympathetic and needs to fill her with rage and make her seem unreasonable at odd times to keep anyone from liking her too much over Jacob. She needs to be the one who learns to behave. quote:“I trust that you can present the offer in the best possible light. As well as the offer for any other physical object you might need, or transportation, or anything else at all. And showers, too, since you prefer to sleep outdoors. Please… don’t consider yourselves without the benefits of a home.” You can't just bathe by running through a river and straight into the forest! quote:“If you would pass the offer on, regardless.” It's yet another "The rules don't matter and can change at any time" reveal coming up. quote:“Give me a second, Carlisle,” Bella panted. Shouldn't, uh, this be an even bigger reason to abort this child before it's fully grown? quote:Rosalie lifted Bella carefully. Edward seemed like he was going to argue, but Rosalie bared her teeth at him and growled, “I’ve already got her.” This is basically a horror movie and none of you are going to even do anything to stop it! quote:Blondie carried Bella swiftly up the big staircase with Carlisle and Edward right on her heels, none of them taking any notice of me standing dumbstruck in the doorway. Carlisle and Esme running at 60 MPH through Forks in the middle of the night, holding hospital equipment over their heads like Adam West's Batman with the bomb. quote:I was too tired to follow them, too tired to move. I leaned back against the wall and then slid to the ground. The door was still open, and I pointed my nose toward it, grateful for the clean breeze blowing in. I leaned my head against the jamb and listened. What's with these stupid vampires trying to act like normal people and not bloodsucking leech monster parasites? quote:“That doesn’t look comfortable,” she observed. Normal vampires wouldn't have to deal with this lovely plot. quote:“So how come you’re never with Bella anymore?” I asked, making the question an accusation. It hadn’t occurred to me before, because my head had been full of other crap, but it was weird that Alice was never around Bella, not since I’d been here. Maybe if Alice were by her side, Rosalie wouldn’t be. “Thought you two were like this.” I twisted two of my fingers together. Bella gives all of us a headache, Jacob. quote:“Not Bella, really,” she amended. “The… fetus.” Alice's powers work exclusively with the speed and accuracy the plot demands. The child is the exclusive winner of the "Alice can't see the future" power, but it affects Bella because...reasons. There's no reason why it has to work this way except that it conveniently kicks the clairvoyant out of the plot. This is why you don't put people who can see the future into your story unless you're already a good writer. Amateur housewife writing off the top of your head with little or no planning? You get this. quote:She was quiet for a second, and then she added, “I have to admit, it’s a relief having you close by—in spite of the wet-dog smell. Everything goes away. Like having my eyes closed. It numbs the headache.” Yes, that is Jacob about to transform and try to kill the person he's talking to for no good reason again. quote:“Well, there’s something there.”
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# ? May 26, 2020 14:24 |
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It kinda seems like a fetus capable of breaking bones might be viable outside the womb, or at the very least that's an argument that somebody should be making. It seems like "caesarean" would have come up. Otherwise we're just going to see Bella get progressively, horrifyingly more pregnant while Rosalie snaps at anyone who comes close like a chain chomp.
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# ? May 26, 2020 15:39 |
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Grammarchist posted:It kinda seems like a fetus capable of breaking bones might be viable outside the womb, or at the very least that's an argument that somebody should be making. It seems like "caesarean" would have come up. Otherwise we're just going to see Bella get progressively, horrifyingly more pregnant while Rosalie snaps at anyone who comes close like a chain chomp. This story seems like it’s building towards a chestburster self-C-section birth scene and we’re suddenly plunged into an Alien fanfic but I know that can’t be what happens.
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# ? May 26, 2020 16:22 |
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Midjack posted:This story seems like it’s building towards a chestburster self-C-section birth scene and we’re suddenly plunged into an Alien fanfic but I know that can’t be what happens. Alien: chestburster scene Meyer: hold my (non-alcoholic) beer
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# ? May 26, 2020 17:26 |
hyperhazard posted:Alien: chestburster scene It’s such a waste too, because well... Bella’s choice to keep the kid is fine, if self harming, but everyone else around it is just flatly absurdist. There is such a rich tension here being entirely ignored in favor of flopping on couches and calling Bella dumb. Yeah, having a monstrous home birth that might produce an actual monster out of a darker bit of folklore should absolutely have mom and dad and doctor having discussions about risk, it should have family figuring out how they are going to prevent unfortunate outcomes. Even more frustrating, it is clear the cullens have had some of that talk, but none of those gripping discussions happen in sight of the reader. Instead here we are watching Sam v Jacob or Edward flop, or Rosalie turn into a chain chomp and trying to decide who wins the readers choice award for most insane reaction. Just imagine if Sam could pick up a phone. Then as alpha of the local pack he could pretty realistically demand to speak to Carlisle as head of the local Vampire family and then have a quick talk about how Carlisle plans to both keep Bella alive (Per the treaty) and also protect the people of la push (Per the treaty) from whatever supernatural half-vampire Bella is having. That seems a lot more reasonable than any of this. But no, people are so freaked out by whatever superpowers this half vamp fetus has inherited from its terminally clumsy mother (hint, it’s clumsy too) that they can’t even step back long enough to really think about it.
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# ? May 26, 2020 20:54 |
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Sam: "I ain't drawing no straws. I'm for killing that thing right now." Carlisle: "I can't lie to you about your chances, but... you have my sympathies."
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# ? May 26, 2020 21:02 |
In fact, Carlisle should realistically be the one pushing the hardest for termination! In the beginning of the book, he's the one who educated Bella on why immortal children are banned and generally have to be exterminated immediately. While he's compassionate (such as wanting to keep Bree alive against the Volturi's wishes and teach her the rules), he's also never been stupid. He's recognized danger and fought to kill in the past few months. With all of the dangers of an immortal child (especially their ability to incite violently protective instincts in vampires, which Rosalie is displaying all the symptoms of), it's incredibly reckless for him to just wait and see.
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# ? May 27, 2020 13:40 |
quote:I was dreaming that I was really thirsty. And there was a big glass of water in front of me—all cold, you could see the condensation running down the sides. I grabbed the cup and took a huge gulp, only to find out pretty quick that it wasn’t water—it was straight bleach. I choked it back out, spewing it everywhere, and a bunch of it blew out of my nose. It burned. My nose was on fire.… How did Meyer think "Blondie" wouldn't get tiring after a few chapters? It's like her idea for what cool kids talk like ended at PG-rated media in the 1970s. quote:Once my face was out of the stinking feathers, I caught other scents. Like bacon and cinnamon, all mixed up with the vampire smell. Have they all just been staring at him this whole time? quote:“He came to find you,” Edward said while I got to my feet. “And Esme convinced him to stay for breakfast.” At least be happy Seth isn't doing it to a pre-pubescent girl. quote:Seth heard Edward’s comment, looked at my face, and suddenly he needed both hands to eat with. He took his arm off Bella and dug in. I walked over to stand a few feet from the couch, still trying to get my bearings. Breaking! quote:Well, drat. I’d slept through the rest of the day and the whole night—dropped the ball. “Crap. Sorry about that, Seth. Really. You shoulda kicked me awake.” It's honestly kind of insane! quote:“What’s for breakfast?” I asked, a little sarcastic. “O negative or AB positive?” Yeah cause Leah's a stuck-up bitch who hates the Cullens for no reason, right? quote:“I’ll go hunt with her, then.” So is there any kind of magical significance to the treaty? Earlier in the series, the treaty was taken so seriously that Jacob was a fierce believer willing to kill every Cullen himself within days of joining the pack, and Paul attempted to kill Emmett just for accidentally drifting over the invisible line while on a mutual hunt for Victoria. We already know the Alpha can force any wolf to bend to his will, so it would make sense for the treaty to actually be enforced by something greater than them. But now Sam considers the treaty sufficiently flexible as to be reinterpreted or thrown out altogether at his will. quote:I leaned away, a little surprised, when he threw it back at me like that. What would I know about being in a bloodsucker’s expensive shoes? But, then again, I did know Sam. Also, we later get a first-person view of vampire senses and it's kind of unbelievable that the werewolves would be any kind of threat to them. There's no consistency with who's more dangerous to the other. quote:“And leave Bella behind, unprotected?” Nobody has said that phrase seriously in your lifetime, Jacob. quote:Carlisle laughed, and then his face was serious again. “Jacob, you can’t fight against your brothers.” I want you to take a guess how much all of this debate will matter in the long run. Go ahead. quote:“We’ve got some extra abilities that will even it up. If Edward is one of the three, he’ll be able to give us a few miles’ radius of safety.” quote:“I’m sure there are other ways, too,” Carlisle said. Clearly, there was no physical need strong enough to get Edward away from Bella now. “Alice, I would imagine you could see which routes would be a mistake?” No, Jacob will not stop being an rear end for the rest of his time as our POV character. quote:And then Esme flitted back in the room, a big covered dish in her hands. She stopped hesitantly just behind Carlisle’s elbow, her wide, dark gold eyes on my face. She held the dish out and took a shy step closer. Meyer is trying to write Esme as the perfectly loving Mormon mother, but it just comes off as a horror movie. quote:“Uh, sure, sure,” I mumbled. “I guess. Maybe Leah’s still hungry or something.” What a prick. quote:“Thank you, Jacob,” Esme said, smiling at me. How did a stone face have dimples, for crying out loud? "This was the problem with hanging out with the white folk—you got used to them. They started messing up the way you saw the world. They started feeling like friends." quote:“Will you come back later, Jake?” Bella asked as I tried to make a run for it.
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# ? May 27, 2020 14:15 |
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I love the image of there just being party cups of blood in the Cullen household right now.
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# ? May 28, 2020 02:41 |
Chapter 15: Tick Tock Tick Tock Tick Tockquote:Hey, Jake, thought you said you wanted me at dusk. How come you didn’t have Leah wake me up before she crashed? Maybe she just realizes how lovely you are and is only on your side because being in Sam's pack is worse for her mental health? quote:Funny, though, I’d’ve thought her biggest issue would just be me. We’d always gotten on each other’s nerves when we were in Sam’s pack. But there was no antagonism toward me now at all, just the Cullens and Bella. I wondered why. Maybe it was simply gratitude that I wasn’t forcing her to leave. Maybe it was because I understood her hostility better now. Whichever, running with Leah wasn’t nearly as bad as I’d expected. Ah, so the good native who rejects the white family the strongest has reverted to the most animalistic behavior to compensate? quote:Maybe we should run a sweep east? Seth suggested. Go deep, see if they’re out there waiting. Yes, great idea! Do the part that's most dangerous to bystanders in the wilderness! quote:I probably ought to suggest that, but I was afraid they would listen to me. And I didn’t want to have Bella disappear—to never know whether she’d made it or not. Really stupid! quote:Not really, Seth said, defensive now. It takes some time to build up the kind of medical access that Carlisle has here. He’s got all the stuff he needs to take care of Bella, and the credentials to get more. That’s one of the reasons they want to make a hunting run. Carlisle thinks they’re going to need more blood for Bella soon. She’s using up all the O negative they stored for her. He doesn’t like depleting the stockpile. He’s going to buy some more. Did you know you can buy blood? If you’re a doctor. How does that make any sense? I thought Carlisle going back to Oxford every decade was also renewing his credentials! Any legitimately licensed doctor shouldn't need to "build up credentials" in every small town he visits like this is the 1870s. Has he been operating illegally this entire time, only going to towns where he can slip in with no questions asked? quote:I wasn’t ready to be logical yet. Still seems stupid. They could bring most of it with them, right? And steal what they need wherever they go. Who cares about legal crap when you’re the undead? "She's basically giving birth to a fully grown Pele." quote:I swallowed back the stomach acid in my throat. Yeah, I know. Women can be more susceptible to rib fractures due to their expanding uterus putting pressure on their ribcage. That does not mean "The baby kicks hard enough to splinter your ribs." quote:Seth was in full report mode now—knowing it was all vitally interesting to me, though I’d never’ve asked to hear it. Bella’s been running a fever off and on today. Just low grade—sweats and then chills. Carlisle’s not sure what to make of it—she might just be sick. Her immune system can’t be in peak form right now. But...what's the alternative? They just tell him "Sorry, Bella has suddenly died, please never call again"? quote:She might not die, Seth thought quietly. How would Bella just abruptly dying be any easier on Charlie? They were having to pull a death cover story anyway. Why would they get better results by killing her off on the spot instead of letting her spend her final days with him and letting him grieve? quote:We ran in silence for a few minutes. I started off along a new line, probing south. He's so childish. What's his appeal supposed to be? quote:I kept my southern course, searching for anything new. I turned around when I got close to the first signs of habitation. Not near the town yet, but I didn’t want to get any wolf rumors going again. We’d been nice and invisible for a long while now. There's quite a lot wrong with him, actually! quote:I didn’t hesitate at the door this time; I just walked through like I owned the place. I figured that would piss Rosalie off, but it was a wasted effort. Neither Rosalie or Bella were anywhere in sight. I looked around wildly, hoping I’d missed them somewhere, my heart squeezing against my ribs in a weird, uncomfortable way. Jacob strutting around in desperation at getting Rosalie to notice him. quote:“She’s all right,” Edward whispered. “Or, the same, I should say.” Edward freezing himself into the most dramatic posture in preparation for Jacob's appearance. quote:“Hello, Jacob,” she said. “I’m so glad you came back.” The scent of pedophilia. quote:And, just like before, Bella’s face lit up like a kid’s on Christmas morning. Like I’d brought her the greatest gift ever. No no, that's after the pregnancy. quote:“Hi, Bells.” "Unless your suggestion is that Jacob do anything to help you. I will murder him on the spot first." quote:“Okay, I’m a little cold. Edward, can you hand me that blanket?” More useful than his normal "friendship." quote:Edward sat on the arm of the sofa by Bella’s feet, his eyes always on her face. There's that clairvoyance not working again. quote:“Of course not,” Blondie said in a sugar-sweet voice that I immediately distrusted. She got up and breezed out of the room. I don't. quote:There was a lot of banging in the kitchen, and—weirdly—the sound of metal protesting as it was abused. Edward sighed again, but smiled just a little, too. Then Rosalie was back before I could think much more about it. With a pleased smirk, she set a silver bowl on the floor next to me. Remember when Rosalie was a normal, decent person who had legitimate issues with the protagonist instead of a psychopathic bully? quote:Because the food looked pretty good—steak, no less, and a big baked potato with all the fixings—I told her, “Thanks, Blondie.” How have you heard that? I've never heard that joke. That's such a dumb joke. quote:She made a disgusted face and rolled her eyes. Then she sat in one of the armchairs and started flicking through channels on the big TV so fast that there was no way she could really be surfing for something to watch. Mood. quote:“You’re getting a little shaggy,” she said. “Maybe—” Emmett. quote:She chuckled. “Probably.” Hey, that's a perfectly normal term to use for a baby! quote:“I’m serious,” I told her. “I want to know how long I’m gonna have to be here.” How long you’re gonna be here, I added in my head. I turned to look at her then. Her eyes were thoughtful; the stress line was there between her brows again. This woman really just uses "burning man" without a clue over and over.
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# ? May 28, 2020 21:22 |
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So I know they had to split up this book into two movies, but at this point I wouldn't be surprised if the baby isn't born until the second film. I can't imagine how painful this is to read straight from the page. Something has to happen at some point, right? Like, Sam puts a bomb in the house and Carlisle spends every second of an hour-long timer figuring out which wire to cut while Edward faints from furniture to furniture and Rosalie welds an elaborate piece of metal art denigrating Jacob's heritage.
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# ? May 28, 2020 22:07 |
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# ? May 25, 2024 14:32 |
Grammarchist posted:So I know they had to split up this book into two movies, but at this point I wouldn't be surprised if the baby isn't born until the second film. I can't imagine how painful this is to read straight from the page. The birth is the very end of the first movie and the end of Jacob’s perspective. The second film is just the last third of the book.
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# ? May 28, 2020 22:21 |