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Escape From Noise

It is hummus time, my orbs.

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Escape From Noise

Kala chana curry

Escape From Noise

Punjabi Chole Masala

Resting Lich Face


This case of an intraperitoneal zucchini is unusual, and does raise questions as to how hard one has to push a blunt vegetable to perforate the rectum.
Willy pls cook for me thanks

Escape From Noise

Resting Lich Face posted:

Willy pls cook for me thanks

Any time you're around! If not here's the recipe I used.
https://www.vegrecipesofindia.com/punjabi-chole-chickpeas-in-a-spicy-gravy/

Poise
KABOB:



KABOB:



KABOB:



:birddrugs: KABOB AND POTATO: :birddrugs:



:banjo:

edit: Forgot to include the meat ones are beef, bell pepper, cipollini onion, and mushrooms; the fish ones are mahi mahi, pineapple, and tomato. They all just have olive oil/salt/pepper on them. One of the greatest kabob tricks I picked up (I think from Alton Brown) is to use small whole onions like these cipollinis or pearl onions or something instead of a cut up larger onion, which always just falls apart during kabobbing. Another trick I do for kabobs is to cook the veggies (not the pineapple/tomatoes tho which I guess are both fruits not veggies anyway :psyduck: ) in the oven for about 15 mins before letting them cool and assembling the kabobs to grill, I find that if you just go with raw veggies with raw meat/fish (this assumes you're grilling), the meat or fish will be overcooked as fugck by the time the veggies are cooked enough.

Poise fucked around with this message at 05:47 on May 27, 2020

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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

Kaiser Schnitzel

Schnitzel mit uns


^^^Those look great^^^^ Kebabs are so easy and i always forget to do them. My local middle eastern store has some soujouk seasoning mix that is incredible with a little lemon juice and olive oil as a kebab marinade. I'd never thought of precooking the veg but that is a good idea.

It's summer y'all. Snap beans, baby squash from the garden and onions sauteed in bacon grease, hoecake, fried green tomato.


https://i.imgur.com/R8ctked.mp4
ty Manifisto for this wonderful sig!


Poise

Kaiser Schnitzel posted:

^^^Those look great^^^^ Kebabs are so easy and i always forget to do them. My local middle eastern store has some soujouk seasoning mix that is incredible with a little lemon juice and olive oil as a kebab marinade. I'd never thought of precooking the veg but that is a good idea.

It's summer y'all. Snap beans, baby squash from the garden and onions sauteed in bacon grease, hoecake, fried green tomato.


I want to shove those GBD fried green tomatoes into my facehole, nice job.

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This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

Poise
Today was BBQ PULLED CHICKEN SANDWICHES

Started with a bird on the rotisserie:



On the bird is a rub of chili powder, granulated garlic, granulated onion, cumin, paprika, cayenne, and ground mustard, plus some olive oil and salt/pepper. The same rub is inside the bird's cavity with salt/pepper, where I also stuffed it with onion/carrot/celery while roasting to keep it moist and give it those aromatic flavors. You can see I employ an aluminum foil drip tray - I once did it without that and when I came out to check things, my grill was on fire and my bird was blackened and destroyed, it cost me everything. The thin aluminum foil lets the bird still essentially get direct heat from the burners below to get that delicious golden brown rotisserie finish, but prevents the grill from becoming an inferno.

I didn't get a full pic of the bird before I carved half of it to do the pulled chicken but here's how it came out:



And here's the finished bbq pulled chicken:



I made the BBQ sauce inspired by Matty Matheson's sauce recipe:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BkrmGcgNp2g
but IMO he adds too much mustard powder and not enough cider vinegar and I like it tangy so I tweaked it a bit, also dumped in my leftover dry rub from earlier.
The recipe uses a full can of coke, a bunch of ketchup, a bunch of mustard, and a bunch of vinegar - it makes a large volume of sauce so I saved about 2/3 of it for later (I'll be doing WINGS NIGHT in a few days and will def use this as a base to make some of the wings BBQ CHICKEN WINGS) and used the rest for the pulled chicken. I also added in the resting drippings from the rotisserie to the portion of sauce I used for the pulled chicken - I gave the resting drippings a finger lick test and it was so dang tasty I didn't wanna waste it.
The coleslaw is simple bag of shredded cabbage coleslaw blend from the store with a dressing I made with about a 60-40 mix of mayo and Greek yogurt, plus cider vinegar and salt/pepper.
In the back there is some baby spinach with garlic and a touch of lemon.
The beans are from a can :ohdear:
Oh and for a BBQ sandwich like this nothing beats an ONION ROLL.

It all came out pretty dope!

:banjo:

Poise fucked around with this message at 03:36 on May 29, 2020

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

very nice i like

I CANT RESIST SHITTING UP THE BIG BOOBS THREAD WITH MY RANDOM FUCKING MONKEY CHEESE BULLSHIT! IF YOU SEE ME, FUCK ME UP.
Today was the day I tried my hand at french onion soup, after reaching what I considered the pinnacle of making my own soup a couple weeks ago with a clear broth beef soup I made that came together very nicely. My next challenge was this because I'd never tasted it before so I didn't have much of an idea of how it should come out, and true to my own style I kinda skimmed the recipe used[https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/mbwbwb/french-onion-soup-recipe]( Shout outs to Matty Matheson) and then improvised because I don't keep everything asked for on hand.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ne2hhWeLSS4

I basically only had a few vidalia onions and a yellow onion, and two bags of red onions that were the size of my balls (very big size), no shallots and I know gently caress all about wine/sherry/port so I just used 3 different reds and tried to see how it'd go. I do keep a fair bit of adjustment tools around because I know I'm prone to this bob ross -esque habit so I had everything else except the fresh thyme(i had ground) and the cheese, where I used cheddar and a bit of parm instead.

Step 1: Chop Onions
A great deal of tears were shed during this, due to the noxious fumes given off and my very weak eyes. This is more like 10 onions than the recipe specified 15, because I didn't want the french onion soup to taste too strongly of onion.



Step 1.5: Sweating
I did basically what Matty did in his video except I was more stressed out wondering if I really wanted to eat a soup full of onions that badly. The onions stared back at me as I realised I didn't want to really do this bullshit but I wanted to be able to say I did, so I opted to satisfy my ego and continued anyway.




Step 1.51: Sweating More
I was starting to see how this big loving tub of onions could become something I'd put inside my body, mostly due to it shrinking in size. The recipe says I need to wait until this goop is the same colour as a dirty old mop so I waited until it looked like a pot of diarrhea and then I added more red onion, but I chopped it up small so I could pretend it was like adding shallots. I tried to add some depth of flavour by browning the faux-shallots in a hot salty pan and then throwing MSG on it. I'd let it brown then release the fond onto the onions by adding some water periodically until they were sort of brown looking.



Step 2: ???

Step 3: Adding Wine
So eventually it said to add the wine or something so I did. I didn't realise the recipe said to add 4 cups of wine instead of 2. I realised this and shat my pants a little bit thinking I was going to make this terrible wine-addled soup, but I figured I could trust Matty because he looks like a good guy. So I added the wine and smelled it obsessively until it looked like the old dirty mop I rode into this town on.



Step 4: Finishing Touches
I added the rest of the stuff and it started to look and taste more like a soup. The wine reducing wasn't perfect, and I couldn't even manage to flambe it like I was supposed to so I think I hosed something up there too but I figured I could get away with it if I just added more beef stock. I boiled water and just added stock powder until it looked like something I'd want to drink and added that in. Instead of salt and pepper and I just added korean chili powder for a small amount of heat, really just enough to make it taste "warm". I threw in the rest of the herbs and poo poo in, but I didn't wait as long until serving it because this 4 hour recipe had turned into like 5-6 hours. I had skipped lunch to start it and stare at the onions until they looked like used toilet paper so I just wanted to eat dinner. I toasted the bread and kinda threw it in there along with the cheese.



Results

I think it came out ok. I tried to brown the cheese more using the broiler in my oven but my dog was trying to see what a 400F degree surface felt like against his nose so I had to cut it short because he was getting a little too ambitious. It was sweeter than I imagined it'd be but the cheddar + parm balanced it out really nicely. It made me wish I had a really shallow but wide pan to put a giant cheese toast in it because then it would have been a wicked combo.


Kaiser Schnitzel

Schnitzel mit uns


:discourse:

Looks tasty

You probably couldn't flambe it because wine has less alchohol (12-15%) than port/sherry/maderia (~20%). Julia Child has a good French umyum soup that doesn't really take that long and seems simpler than that one?

Tell me about your previous clear beef brothy soup because that is my favorite kind of soup


https://i.imgur.com/R8ctked.mp4
ty Manifisto for this wonderful sig!


very nice i like

I CANT RESIST SHITTING UP THE BIG BOOBS THREAD WITH MY RANDOM FUCKING MONKEY CHEESE BULLSHIT! IF YOU SEE ME, FUCK ME UP.
So as an introduction to the soup, I was trying to make something that'd stand up to the soup my dad likes to get, Which is a kind of watery quick soup from a chain thai place with rice noodles an beansprouts etc. I figured it would be pretty easy to compete with, but previous attempts were lacking in terms of depth in my opinion partially due to the lack of meat I used to make it pop. They were still good soups, but I wanted a soup that made me feel at peace with being temporarily unemployed as long as I could eat it.

Ingredients
2 large yellow onions
1 head of celery sliced about 1/4-1/2 in thick
5 large carrots, peeled and sliced 1/4-1/2 in thick
~1/2 -1/lb beef soup bones
1 carton ~700ml mushroom stock
1 stock beef stock cube or powder serving
Noodles as you like them (I used udon)
Olive oil
butter

All below are to taste
korean chili powder
korean chili paste
chipotle powder
marmite
hot paprika
MSG
Lemon juice if desired or citric acid



Process
I made coq au vin from https://foodwishes.blogspot.com/2014/08/coq-au-vin-rock-out-with-your-coq-out.html and was awed at the power of profound browning, and was attempting to to transfer the experience from making that into a soup. Kinda. I didn't take pictures of making it because I was kinda scrambling to get everything into the pot at once. I saved the excess shavings/clippings at each step of prepping my vegetables. In total this was around 2-4 because I was taking my time with it and not worrying much about when I finished it.

Step 1: Laying the foundation


The first order of business was chopping and simmering the onions and browning them in my stock pot, stirring as needed and occasionally adding water to liberate the fond onto the onions, at which point it would hopefully return to the pan even more reduced and complex, but also hopefully not burnt which was the primary reason for this. In a side pan I threw some butter in and waited till it browned slightly before adding my soup bones to brown those as well. The fat rendered from them pretty quickly so I mostly focused on making sure I added color to them as much as I could on all sides.

Once the beef was done I put it into the pot and continued stirring, but reserved the tallow in the frying pan and added my celery to it to also brown and remove water. It took a while and they shrunk a fair bit, I was eventually satisfied with having sort of brown celery with beefy bits on it and threw those in the pot and added the carrots to the pan next. The pan was running kind of low on oil but I figured a few lightly charred bits would add depth so I just tried to make sure there weren't more than a couple black spots while still removing the water from the carrots quickly. I then added the carrots and any remaining fat to the pot as well.

Step 2: Making it soup
Shortly after adding the carrots I poured in the mushroom stock and brought it up to a boil before lowering to a simmer while I went to work on the vegetable scraps. I washed them again and threw them in a pot with enough boiling water to approximately fill the remainder of my stockpot, and boiled the hell out of it for a couple minutes with some MSG added. I strained the liquid into my soup pot and added a beef stock cube to it and skimmed the top for as much foam as I could manage without removing too much of the fat.

Step 3: Seasoning
At this point I was trying to make the soup more complex kind of like a ramen broth, but an approximation I could make within 2-3h. There was a fair bit of salt in the pot already so I tried to be careful with how much marmite and korean chili paste I added, it was only maybe a thumb's worth or so for both. I added a pinch of the paprika, chipotle powder and korean chili powder until I knew I'd feel the heat without it being truly spicy, and skimmed the soup until I figured there wouldn't be much more foam coming out. You can add lemon juice now if you want it, or a pinch of citric acid to your bowl. I only did this step because my dad likes it.

I then skimmed as much of the fat as I could off and removed any solid bits while boiling my noodles. I spooned a little bit into the bottom of the bowl before adding my beef with soup and mushy vegetables etc.

the verdict
It was a good soup. The vegetables probably could have been done in a way that preserved texture more, but I was mostly concerned about making a bold broth with some beef and noodles in it.

very nice i like

I CANT RESIST SHITTING UP THE BIG BOOBS THREAD WITH MY RANDOM FUCKING MONKEY CHEESE BULLSHIT! IF YOU SEE ME, FUCK ME UP.
I'll check out the Julia Child recipe, thank you!

Robot Made of Meat

very nice i like posted:

I'll check out the Julia Child recipe, thank you!

Julia's always worth checking out. I used to think omelets were difficult!


Thanks to Manifisto for the sig!

Finger Prince


Holy crap y'all, this recipe is amaaaazing:
https://www.sapmer.com/recettes/pan-roasted-patagonian-toothfish-recipe/

You could use cod or really any firm white fish.
I substituted stuff heavily and it was still awesome.
I used orange and grapefruit zest and minced mint in the first step with the butter, then after cooking the fish each side so it was got a nice crust, I put diced onions like the recipe says, plus Gia sofrito from a metal tube, capers, garlic powder, softened that up, and added a fist full of samphire. Then the white wine, then instead of regular cream I used coconut cream.
I served it with asparagus and eggplant slices done on the grill pan and potato.
But holy crap the fish and sauce was decadent as hell and soooo goooood.
Try it, it's a pretty easy recipe that takes well to substitutions, and only takes like 15 minutes or so to cook.

FutonForensic

a tomato tart was a good way to use this season's first batch of homegrown tomatoes


Areola Grande

it's a free country u pervs
aka the achey breaky tart.

Looks good 2 me

Finger Prince


FutonForensic posted:

a tomato tart was a good way to use this season's first batch of homegrown tomatoes



Uhh, yum!

owlhawk911

come chill with me, in byob

FutonForensic posted:

a tomato tart was a good way to use this season's first batch of homegrown tomatoes



what is the difference between this and a pizza? it looks delicious either way


https://giant.gfycat.com/PlasticAngryHousefly.webm
this sig a mf'n vanisher joint. gobbos by khanstant

FutonForensic

owlhawk911 posted:

what is the difference between this and a pizza? it looks delicious either way

uses a pastry sheet instead of pizza dough, no sauce, otherwise not much


Areola Grande

it's a free country u pervs

Kaiser Schnitzel

Schnitzel mit uns



What, exactly, is going on here?


https://i.imgur.com/R8ctked.mp4
ty Manifisto for this wonderful sig!


Areola Grande

it's a free country u pervs
Ok my dealer has hooked me up with we'd oil in the past. It has always made normal looking magic cookies.but today he crumpled into my car all glassy eyed, handed over the jar and said "go easy bud. I thought I used the weak poo poo but idk what happened"

these fully baked green cookies have me a lil worried :chloe:

Areola Grande

it's a free country u pervs


Ok I guess they're fine :question:

verycute

prepuce repurposed posted:



Ok I guess they're fine :question:

how'd these work out?

verycute




made some fried green tomatoes. mixed it up with shawarma seasoning in the egg coating and i used panko bread crumbs cause thats all aldi had.

i give myself a 6/10 on these, mainly cause the breadcrumbs absorbed too much oil. not sure if its the breadcrumbs fault or if the oil wasnt hot enough.

Areola Grande

it's a free country u pervs

verycute posted:

how'd these work out?

ngl, the first hour was hell. I felt like I was tripping. Too stronk. After that I felt fine but completely riveted to my chair . In classic edible fashion I was back to normal in 24 hours.

TL;DR: if your batter is green consider a half dose





spring sigs by nesamdoom and Ravenous Scoot

Escape From Noise

Finally cooked something sort of substantial for the first time in a while. Some masoor dal with a salad and a guava mojito.

RYYSZLA
Tonight I'm having a go at making Beef Dhansak with Mango Chutney & probably some sort of lentil or cauliflower rice

Will post pictures if it doesn't look rubbish like everything else I cook

I for one am happy to remain a porpoise.

Why does this website porpoise-shame people?

Escape From Noise

RYYSZLA posted:

Tonight I'm having a go at making Beef Dhansak with Mango Chutney & probably some sort of lentil or cauliflower rice

Will post pictures if it doesn't look rubbish like everything else I cook

Presentation is a pain in the butt. Just post IMHO. We won't rip on you about it.

Escape From Noise

Because that sounds delicious

joke_explainer


bump, what is everyone eating?

Finger Prince


I made this yesterday for dinner and had leftovers today for lunch.

I had a bunch of big hunks of leftover porchetta roast I had from the fancy grocery store that I turned into pulled pork with some beer and chicken stock and a bunch of ras al hanout and garlic powder and some liquid pecan smoke and some epazote and maybe a bit of some other stuff I don't remember. Simmered it till the meat could be pulled apart with forks. Separated the liquid and added it to some defrosted black beans.
Steamed some kale and garlic scapes over the rice in the rice cooker, took it out half way, then fried up some onions and garlic in butter and added the greens and some more chicken stock to the pot the pork was done in. Oh a splash of calvados was added to the pork and the greens while cooking. Added the beans to the rice and stirred it through.
Served with lashings of Tapatio. Simple and fuckin yum.

joke_explainer


Looks delicious. Here’s some fried rice I made recently:



And some tacos with al pastor:

Prof. Crocodile

joke_explainer posted:

Looks delicious. Here’s some fried rice I made recently:



And some tacos with al pastor:



them tacos look good as heck

I’m just now realizing I’ve been posting all my foods and cooking in the lurkers thread. I am a disgrace. :negative:

Escape From Noise

Made a mixed dal and veggie curry with cauliflower, Japanese pumpkin, and potatoes. It is very spicy.

Bo-Pepper

Want some rye?
Course ya do!

i’ve made a bunch of things in recent months



four and a half gallons of chili



a roast chicken



hot sauce and pickled corn



apple butter



red beans and rice



tomato sauce



hot chili oil



fried chicken



dumplings



strawberry jam


https://i.imgur.com/W0eDFyb.mp4

hmm?

Bo-Pepper

Want some rye?
Course ya do!

looking at that chicken now i feel like it needed ten more minutes or a going over with the searzall to get the skin just right

Prof. Crocodile

thos beans and rice look legit af, bo pepper. watchoo got in there? hamhock?

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Bo-Pepper

Want some rye?
Course ya do!

i had some smoked pork from a farmer’s market that basically demanded it be used in the dish

it spoke to me

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