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EorayMel posted:Have the justification be "we're gonna do a brute force method because it is the most reliable and secure, even if it is the most time consuming" but also because somebody spilled too much liquid nitrogen on the floor and that damaged the hardware thus making it take however long the script calls for
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Jun 16, 2020 18:17
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Can't wait for a film using hijacking the dnssec root signing ceremony as a plot device.
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Jun 16, 2020 18:32
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"I need a way in, fast!" "There's a Bitcoin ATM 300 miles away, in a coffee shop called Perk-U-Now-And-Later." "Satoshi, is the Tes..." "Fully charged sir." "Lets roll!"
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Jun 16, 2020 18:49
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The entire bitcoin bit is a bait and switch. All the tech garbage is gibberish nonsense because the actual goal is to distract people while the real hackers steal all the customer details.
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Jun 16, 2020 18:53
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Hours of the hackers throwing penny shavings to track transactions of another group trying to steal their take. Also they need to be chased by the libertarian police dept from the New Yorker.
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Jun 16, 2020 18:57
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Splicer posted:The entire bitcoin bit is a bait and switch. All the tech garbage is gibberish nonsense because the actual goal is to distract people while the real hackers steal all the customer details.
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Jun 16, 2020 19:24
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Okay, the producer is holding firm on the film being about a bitcoin heist. What about a document from a Bitcoin bank listing the login details of every wallet on their service? That could be encrypted and need some IT fuckery to access.
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Jun 16, 2020 19:49
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If you're only going to use bitcoin in name, then you can probably set the stakes higher: it's the central server for a bitcoin exchange, it's an access node for a high-volume bitcoin tumbler that is normally autonomous (that's a favorite thing among bitcoiners, autonomous services that run like magic), it's the final resting place for Satoshi's documents (Praise Be Unto His Trillions of Evergrowing Teeth) which may contain the key to his enormous stash. Lots of IT fuckery that you can loop bitcoin in and make it both plausible and not actually have to touch the poop.
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Jun 16, 2020 20:07
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kw0134 posted:If you're only going to use bitcoin in name, then you can probably set the stakes higher: it's the central server for a bitcoin exchange, it's an access node for a high-volume bitcoin tumbler that is normally autonomous (that's a favorite thing among bitcoiners, autonomous services that run like magic), it's the final resting place for Satoshi's documents (Praise Be Unto His Trillions of Evergrowing Teeth) which may contain the key to his enormous stash. Lots of IT fuckery that you can loop bitcoin in and make it both plausible and not actually have to touch the poop. Sweet. I'll just do this then. Thanks for doing my homework all! Now I just need to think of a bunch of imaginative ways for yuppie bitcoin assholes to die at the hands of criminals. Necrothatcher fucked around with this message at 20:18 on Jun 16, 2020 |
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Jun 16, 2020 20:12
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Necrothatcher posted:Sweet. I'll just do this then.
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Jun 16, 2020 20:30
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make it so the bitcoin transfer is a physical one but the two exchangers are cyborgs and one of them has a usb drive implanted onto his dick and the other one's usb port is in his rear end in a top hat. let me know if you can't find any suitable actors (i may be able to help u out there).
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Jun 16, 2020 20:35
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EorayMel posted:Make it a PAYDAY 2 style mission with the bad guys wear clown masks while breaking in and letting the computer run the transfers as SEC agents also try breaking in to arrest or kill them during a clusterfuck of a shootout. Something tells me the project's budget would leave them better off making this a Payday 2 machinima.
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Jun 16, 2020 21:03
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Necrothatcher posted:Okay, the producer is holding firm on the film being about a bitcoin heist. OK then. Just do a story about tether.
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Jun 16, 2020 21:07
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Realistic scenario: they have a 12 word passphrase on a piece of paper but some of the words have been destroyed due to ACTION so they need to brute force the words to get the correct phrase to unlock the coins
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Jun 16, 2020 21:09
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Subtitle the entire heist build-up exposition by Danny seraph84 Ocean with "THIS IS WHAT COINERS ACTUALLY BELIEVE".
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Jun 16, 2020 21:12
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You don't even write a new script. Just make a movie about silk road and you have a choice of heists. You could make it a documentary but no one would believe it is real.
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Jun 16, 2020 21:16
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Necrothatcher posted:Sweet. I'll just do this then. Someone hacks into a bitcoiner's computer and causes it to mine bitcoins at such a rate that it overheats his room and he dies of heatstroke. Note: if you want this to be vaguely plausible then the victim has to have a ridiculous setup where they have lots and lots of mining computers in the room. Better and funnier to wind the pedants up by making it wildly unrealistic - have it be a single desktop computer that overheats the room. Be sure to have a scene where investigators "simulate" what happened on his computer and have them say lines like, "the hashrate of his CPU... it's off the charts!!"
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Jun 16, 2020 21:16
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The murderer hands the victim a physical bitcoin that has "blockchain code" programmed into it that causes it to deliver a fatal electric shock 5 minutes later
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Jun 16, 2020 21:19
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Necrothatcher posted:Sweet. I'll just do this then. do it mad mad world style where the bit coiners are all after satoshi's trove but instead of finding out there's nothing, they all just die in increasingly contrived ways, and not even at the hands of criminals. like one is on a plane going to wherever he thinks the giant S is, but he mugs at the camera and states, i don't need to put my phone in airplane mode, i'm a bitcoiner  and then searching for the signal for twelve hours overheats the phone and it explodes in his pants. very gory. but the hero bitcoiner notices the newly dead guy has his btc wallet and decryption key sticking out of his carry on.....
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Jun 16, 2020 21:34
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The murderer discovers the victim's address* by monitoring the transactions to a cutting-edge bitcoin mixer on the darknet. they quickly hack the victim's phone and call it, then cause it to explode when they lift the phone to answer. Make sure the murderer is seen looking at a screen like the matrix or some poo poo as they narrow down the address * specifically their address. not their phone number
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Jun 16, 2020 21:35
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The murderer meets the victim in a McDonald's under the pretext that he is going to buy the victim's bitcoins. He instead uses it as an opportunity to proselytize to the victim about how he should not sell his bitcoins, because they will go to the moon. The victim storms out of the restaurant and across the street, but is run down (apparently accidentally) by a car driven by the murderer's accomplice
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Jun 16, 2020 21:38
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by the way, in case it's not obvious, it must be described as "a cutting-edge bitcoin mixer on the darknet". this is essential.
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Jun 16, 2020 21:40
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the skanky thot who seduces the hero and steals his wallet is running from the criminals and finds herself in the middle of a college frisbee football game..... but because nobody has a frisbee (because millennials dont know what frisbees are lmao!!), they're using circular, ultra thin sheets of glass. i shouldn't need to tell you how this ends but i'll give you a hint, it involves pushing a tiny camera through red ballistic gel and out the other side
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Jun 16, 2020 21:40
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the victim is kidnapped by the murderer who puts him in a dungeon between two doors. one leads to freedom and the other leads to a hungry lion. his fate is streamed live on the internet to bitcoiners who can donate with US dollars to open the door to freedom, or with bitcoin to open the door to the lion. they open the lion door
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Jun 16, 2020 21:44
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the murderer beats the victim to death with a shovel with a bitcoin logo on it.
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Jun 16, 2020 21:45
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The exact shot for shot "gently caress you rear end in a top hat" scene from the first Terminator movie but its a hacker looking up and down the pages of the blockchain to find the right transaction before any of listed death scenes
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Jun 16, 2020 21:45
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the murderer strikes the victim square in the centre of the forehead with a physical bitcoin from a slingshot, david and goliath style. he falls to the floor, stone dead. close up of the visible face of the coin, showing ron paul wearing a broad smile, as blood trickles out around the edges
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Jun 16, 2020 23:41
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The vault contains an airgapped laptop, it’s ethernet and usb ports sloppily covered with super glue. It was this ultra secured machine that was used to discretely generate the private key capable of unlocking a bitcoin hoard In what is an otherwise largely spartan room, there are used tissues strewn about, prompting one protagonist to quip that the place seemed more suited to airfapping than airgapping The laptop itself is password protected but brute forceable, with the list of near infinite possible combinations vastly narrowed by knowing an obscure detail about the criminal’s past life. Once it is brute forced and local access is obtained, the protagonists find a misleadingly named file containing the original seed value for the private key, which they are able to reuse on the same machine to create their own clone key to use as they wish. Exfiltration of the key is frustrated, as all ports are sealed and there is a hosed up refresh rate / screen cover preventing photography. One protagonists realizes that they’ll need to painstakingly write out the 256 character key by hand, without a single transcription error, but he/she is soon interrupted in the process as protagonist two rips the laptop from its cradle, tucking it under his arm They uncover cp in the process and are forever scarred by the incident. In the end, they walk away extranational millionaires but kill themselves due to the guilt of profiting from an ecosystem tailored to the exploitation of minors
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Jun 17, 2020 00:03
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Change the heist so that they're heisting their way into a government supercomputer place to turn it into a bitcoin miner so they can start a 51% attack to doublespend the coinsNecrothatcher posted:Sweet. I'll just do this then. Chokes to death trying to swallow a USB key Have one guy be telepresencing to a conference with an ipad on a stick and have him be murdered while streaming Have one guy get murdered with cutlery with the line "Talk about a hard fork" Have another guy who we thought was murdered suddenly show up alive saying "Always wait for six confirmations" e: Have another guy be hanging on to something high and then let go and fall to his death and someone quips "He should have hodled" The first three are things I would find amusing. The last three are things bitcoiners would find amusing. Splicer fucked around with this message at 00:07 on Jun 17, 2020 |
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Jun 17, 2020 00:04
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The Emoji Movie but it's about bitcoin.
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Jun 17, 2020 00:51
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Necrothatcher posted:Now I just need to think of a bunch of imaginative ways for yuppie bitcoin assholes to die at the hands of criminals. Suffocates on his own dried fruit produce rammed down his throat. And the 'blockchain' is a server blade covered in chains.
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Jun 17, 2020 00:57
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The contents of the vault are the skeletal remains of Craig Wright's bonded courier.
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Jun 17, 2020 01:04
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CampingCarl posted:The contents of the vault are the skeletal remains of Craig Wright's bonded courier.
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Jun 17, 2020 01:14
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Or you could have a big thing about how valuable all the Bitcoin is, and how the owner will do all kinds of good/evil things with it, setting up a hacking scene. In a stunning twist, the owner's Nest is the machine hacked so that they roast to death in their Bitcoin mining setup.
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Jun 17, 2020 01:19
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If you want to make it realistic, they manage to steal the coins pretty much instantly by trying the first four words of that awful loving speech in Atlas Shrugged as the passphrase.
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Jun 17, 2020 09:27
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The Bitcoin Heist movie has already been made! Here's the trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uqYPZi1u-XM The movie itself gets ratings around 2.5 stars out of 5, so the trailer probably contains literally the best sixty seconds of the whole thing. The unsubtitled Vietnamese original is up on YouTube, you could download a subtitle file if you have too much time on your hands. At least it's well photographed.
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Jun 17, 2020 21:58
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I'm sure hundreds of bitcoin heist movies are being made, one of which is Money Plane, featuring mega-chud Kelsey Grammer, old pro wrestlers, gambling in the sky, drones with guns, and of course, bitcoin Someone spent a lot of money to have all their idiot libertarian fantasies on screen https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FxJmb6mCjmU
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Jun 17, 2020 22:10
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Okay, I think I cracked what could happen in the movie: 1. The heist takes place in a Bitcoin exchange. As these places are known to be shady, this particular one sells itself on its unhackable security. 2. As such, the criminals need to break in by force in order to physically intimidate some high-up employees into helping them rob the place, as the 'hack' can only be done with official authorisation from inside the building. 3. Their aim is to make all transactions in a certain period (including a very large one they know is happening) secretly feed into their wallet rather than the intended recipient. 4. That wallet's login details are encrypted with a 128-bit key, and the decryption details are on a memory card that can be fought over as the movie goes on.
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Jun 18, 2020 07:43
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Is the exchange like one of those 90s gang hangouts with arcades and skateboards? eg. TMNT movie
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Jun 18, 2020 11:17
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One guy commits suicide by driving a Segway off a cliff
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Jun 18, 2020 13:23
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