Let's Read Animorphs! The Whole Series! Ch-ch-ch-chaaanges

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Epicurius: Apr 10, 2010; College Slice

The Predator-Chapter 3

quote:

Okay , ready?" I asked.

<Yes. I am prepared to begin the morph,> Ax said.

It was Saturday. A couple of days after we had all agreed to go ahead with the plan to capture a Yeerk ship. We were in Cassie's barn, surrounded by cages full of injured animals and birds. Cassie's father and mother were both away for the day.

Jake checked his watch. "Ten after ten," he reported.

"Ax starts morphing at ten-twelve and is done by ten-fifteen. The bus will be at the stop at ten twenty-five," I said. "It will arrive at the mall at eleven. By that point Ax will have been in morph for forty-five minutes. That leaves an hour and fifteen minutes on the two-hour morph time."

"Is it enough time?" Cassie wondered. She was biting her lip nervously.

I shrugged. "Thirty minutes to reach Radio Shack, find what Ax needs to make his transmitter, buy it and get back to catch the eleven-thirty bus home. That gets back here at five after twelve. Ten minutes to spare."

Remember Radio Shack? That was the strangest store. Although if you had to find the parts to make an alien communication device anywhere, it would be Radio Shack

quote:

Jake was looking pretty stony-faced, which is how he looks when he's not sure if something will work.

"It's the best we can do," I said.

"I know. Everyone ready?" Jake asked.

"I should go with you guys," Rachel said for like the tenth time that morning. "I should be there."

"No. We can't all go. If something goes wrong, we don't want everyone caught at once," I said. "And something is sure to go wrong."

<Why do you say that?!> Ax demanded sharply.

Jake smiled. "Marco doesn't believe in optimism."

I just want to stop for a minute, and look at what Marco is doing here. He reassures Jake that the plan they have is the best plan they could come up with, and he's stopping Rachel from going with them in case something does go wrong, so that she and Cassie can save them or at least survive and continue the fight.

quote:

Tobias flew almost silently into the barn through the open hayloft. <It's still all clear. And the bus is right on schedule, over on Margolis Avenue.>

"Okay, Ax. Time to morph," Jake said.

"And, um, don't forget the morphing outfit, okay?" I reminded him. The concept of clothing kind of puzzled the Andalite. We'd gotten him skintight bike shorts and a T-shirt that he could use for morphing, but he still didn't know why.

It's one of the most annoying things about morphing - dealing with clothing. We'd learned how to morph clothing, but only things that were real tight-fitting. Any time you tried to morph a jacket or sweater they just ended up shredded. And shoes? Forget about shoes.

<Clothing, yes,> he said. <l have integrated it into my human morph.>

"Time," Jake said, pointing at his watch.

Ax began to change.

I'd only seen him do it once before - soon after we rescued him from the sunken Andalite dome ship.

I've seen a lot of morphing. I've done a lot of it, too. It's always creepy watching a human being become some strange animal. But watching Ax morph was different. He wasn't becoming an animal. He was becoming a human being.

The stalk eyes shrank and disappeared in his head. The deadly scorpion tail shriveled and withered and slithered up inside him like someone sucking up a piece of spaghetti.

His front hooves disappeared completely.

"Whoa, look out," Jake said. He caught the Andalite as he fell forward, with no front legs to support him.

<Thank you. I must practice standing with only two legs.>

A gash opened in his face and grew lips and teeth. A nose grew where there had just been small vertical slits. His eyes became smaller, more human.

But the weirdest thing about Ax morphing was not just that he looked like a human. It was that he looked like a particular human.

Actually, four particular humans. See, he had absorbed DNA from Jake and Cassie and Rachel and me. Somehow, by some process we did not understand, he was able to combine all four genetic patterns to come up with one person.

The end result was definitely strange and disturbing.

I looked at him and saw some of myself, and Jake, and Rachel and Cassie, too, although Ax was male. That was the most bizarre part. Looking at him and thinking, Hey, he looks familiar. Really familiar. In fact, hey, that's my hair!

"Ax, you could be either a really pretty guy, or a kind of unattractive girl," I said.

"I am an Andalite," he said. "Andalite. Lite. Ite."

"Okay, put on those additional clothes," Jake said. "Let's get going. Tobias?" He looked up to the rafters.

<On my way. I'll check on the bus,> Tobias said, and flew away.

"More clothing? Clo. Clo-theeeeng. Clo- theeng?" Ax said.

"Ax? Don't do that," I said.

"What? Wha wha wha. Tuh."

"That. Where you play with the sounds. Just say what you need to say, and stop."

Like I said, the Andalites have no mouths and no spoken speech. Ax seemed to think mouths were some kind of toy.

I mean, it must, if you think about it, be pretty exciting for Ax, being able to vocalize. You do sort of wonder how he knows English, though.

quote:

"Yes," Ax agreed. "Yah. Ess."

"And one other thing? The shoes go on your feet. Not in your pockets."

"Yes. I remember. Mem. Ber." He pulled his sneakers out of his pockets and looked at them helplessly. Rachel and Cassie each took a foot and got him laced up.

"People are going to think he's weird," Rachel said, sounding exasperated.

"Fortunately, it's the mall on a Saturday morning," I pointed out. "It'll be full of weird people."

"Not this weird," Rachel said. "This could be trouble."

"Isn't it a little late for you to admit that I was right and this idea is insane?" I asked her. "Besides, no need to worry. I'll be there."

"Great. Then it's sure to be a disaster."

We caught the bus without any problem. Ax made strange mouth noises the entire trip, but the bus was mostly empty.

We got to the mall right on time.

"So far, so good," Jake said as we headed into the mall.

I rolled my eyes. "Jake? Do me a favor. Don't ever say 'so far, so good.' The only time anyone ever says 'so far, so good' is right before every thing blows up in his face."

"So far. So far. Farrrrr. Faaaar," Ax said, trying out the sounds. "So. Sssso far so so so good. "

"Oh, man," I said.

This is going to go great!

# ? Jun 27, 2020 23:48

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# ? May 26, 2024 18:18

Ravenfood: Nov 4, 2011

Comrade Blyatlov posted:

Yeah, he's wearing the mask to everyone else, but he is really honest with himself.

And he would be absolutely in love with Rachel completely, if he wasn't so obviously terrified of her.

It almost felt like he's less scared of her and more terrified for her.

# ? Jun 27, 2020 23:56

Fritzler: Sep 5, 2007

Forgot about radio shack, going to the mall can only mean they are about to hit Ax's favorite store for the first time I assume?

Also do all mall's have one person bathrooms? He should go in there and morph half way through definitely.

# ? Jun 28, 2020 00:48

Avalerion: Oct 19, 2012

Yea the books seem really insistent on wanting to make the 2 hour time limit a serious issue when with a little more planning it really shouldn't be.

# ? Jun 28, 2020 07:55

McTimmy: Feb 29, 2008

Y'know, I don't actually remember bathrooms at my old mall. Like, I presume they existed for staff somewhere, but I, or anyone in my family, never had to use them.

# ? Jun 28, 2020 09:07

CidGregor: Sep 27, 2009; TG: if i were you i would just take that fucking devilbeast out behind the woodshed and blow its head off

McTimmy posted:

Y'know, I don't actually remember bathrooms at my old mall. Like, I presume they existed for staff somewhere, but I, or anyone in my family, never had to use them.

Dunno what kind of mall you went to but yes malls definitely have public bathrooms, and they are only surpassed by dive bar and freeway rest stop bathrooms on the grossness scale.

# ? Jun 28, 2020 13:53

bones 4 beginners: Jan 7, 2018; "...a masterpiece that no one can read too often, or admire too much."

Y'all gotta step up your public bathroom game...the Gucci malls have the nicest bathrooms. Like you can tell they had designer type people working on them cause the stalls look like waves or seashells or something like that and there's plants everywhere and the lighting is moody. When I'm out I keep bathrooms in mind cause I drink a lot of tea and you better believe I go to the rich people malls. I advise you to do the same

Anyway animorphs taught me valuable vocabulary like "impale", "disembowel", "eviscerate", and "genocide" and I hope this thread reaches another generation of impressionable youth.

# ? Jun 28, 2020 14:41

CidGregor: Sep 27, 2009; TG: if i were you i would just take that fucking devilbeast out behind the woodshed and blow its head off

bones 4 beginners posted:

Y'all gotta step up your public bathroom game...the Gucci malls have the nicest bathrooms. Like you can tell they had designer type people working on them cause the stalls look like waves or seashells or something like that and there's plants everywhere and the lighting is moody. When I'm out I keep bathrooms in mind cause I drink a lot of tea and you better believe I go to the rich people malls. I advise you to do the same

It's less an issue of visual appeal and more an issue of "People are gross and they aren't cleaned often enough." But yeah I wouldn't mind if they were designed better in the first place.

Anyway back to Animorphs content, are we gonna cover the Megamorphs books along the way or stick to the numbered books? I know they are kind of standalone but they do still sorta fit within the chronology. IIRC the first Megamorphs took place between books 7 and 8-ish (or at least was published around then), #2 was somewhere in the upper teens, and #3 happened in the late 20s? And #4 was pretty late but still before things kick into the endgame?

Similar question for the other side books, e.g. Visser and the 'chronicles' series. They're pretty much all prequel stories, but at the same time they're framed within the context of events in the main chronology (especially Visser), and it would make sense to insert them along the way as they become relevant. So what's the approach? Release Order? Or is there some kind of 'official timeline' wiki I'm not geek enough to be aware of?

# ? Jun 28, 2020 16:15

wizzardstaff: Apr 6, 2018; Zorch! Splat! Pow!

I think release order is the correct way to read, since even the prequels are framed in the context of whatever's going on around them in the main timeline.

But what about the Alternamorphs CYOA book???

# ? Jun 28, 2020 16:29

Epicurius: Apr 10, 2010; College Slice

The plan is to cover all of the books except for the Alternamorphs books. They're going to be covered in print order, which means Megamorphs 1 will be after book 7, 2 will be after book 18, 3 after book 28, and 4 after book 39. Andalite Chronicles will be after book 13, . Hork-Bajr Chronicles after 23, Visser after 35, and the Elemist Chronicles after 47.

There's probably some "official timeline" somewhere, but I don't know where it is, so I'm going with chronological order.

I'm ignoring the Alternamorph books because they're really, really bad and have absolutely no relationship to the main books at all. They're those choose your own adventure type gamebooks where YOU get recruited as an Animorph. They fail, though, as both stories and as gamebooks. They're made up of 3-4 page sections followed by a choice of morph. So at the end of a few pages, it's "If you morph into a flea, turn to page 6, if you morph into a dog, turn to page 7, if you morph into a giraffe, turn to page 8". If you pick the wrong choice, you lose, right there, and there are no context cues telling you what the right choice is. Meanwhile, storywise, they're basically just retellings of other Animorph books.

# ? Jun 28, 2020 16:41

wizzardstaff: Apr 6, 2018; Zorch! Splat! Pow!

Counterpoint: in Alternamorphs, Jake can address me directly and tell me how cool my skateboard tricks are.

I didn't realize there was more than one.

# ? Jun 28, 2020 16:48

Epicurius: Apr 10, 2010; College Slice

wizzardstaff posted:

Counterpoint: in Alternamorphs, Jake can address me directly and tell me how cool my skateboard tricks are.

I didn't realize there was more than one.

"No, no, there were two", Marco tells you. "It's just a lot of people forget the second one. It's like how people forget about Iron Man 2, because it wasn't as good as the first Iron Man"

Jake looks like he's going to say something, but he stops. Then, all of a sudden, you all sense an evil presence behind you. You spin around. It's Visser 3 surrounded by Hork-Bajr guards!

<Well, well, well, human children. And finally the Andalite bandits aren't around to stop me from doing what I want. Seize them! They will make worthy vessels for deserving Yeerks>

If you

do some cool skateboard tricks to impress Jake, turn to page 11.
argue with Marco about the MCU, turn to page 12
fight Visser-3, turn to page 13

# ? Jun 28, 2020 17:16

Comrade Blyatlov: Aug 4, 2007; should have picked four fingers

I honestly never picked up on Marco having a crush on Jake, it just seemed like a deep friendship to me. But, I'll be the first to admit I can miss cues

# ? Jun 28, 2020 17:44

McTimmy: Feb 29, 2008

I can't wait for Andalite Chronicles.

# ? Jun 28, 2020 18:17

disaster pastor: May 1, 2007

Comrade Blyatlov posted:

I honestly never picked up on Marco having a crush on Jake, it just seemed like a deep friendship to me. But, I'll be the first to admit I can miss cues

It's probably not intentional (even though Marco being bi is now confirmed as canon), but Marco talks more in his books about Jake's looks than, say, Tobias and Ax do. Part of it is jokingly putting himself down by comparison, and if it only happened in this first book, nobody would think twice (well, maybe; he does compliment Jake's eyes here...). The quantity kinda moves it into "lol jk... unless..." memetic territory.

If you wanted to make the "Marco was bi all along" argument, you might actually have better luck with Marco/Ax. Again, it's all just offhand comments and jokes, but there are quite a few of them.

# ? Jun 28, 2020 19:01

SardonicTyrant: Feb 26, 2016; BTICH IM A NEWT
熱くなれ夢みた明日を
必ずいつかつかまえる
走り出せ振り向くことなく
&

Everyone thinks Ax is attractive.

SardonicTyrant fucked around with this message at 21:55 on Jun 28, 2020

# ? Jun 28, 2020 21:51

disaster pastor: May 1, 2007

SardonicTyrant posted:

Everyone thinks Ax is attractive.

Yeah, but not everyone pulls Ax into their lap and says "we're very good friends".

# ? Jun 28, 2020 22:38

Epicurius: Apr 10, 2010; College Slice

The Predator-Chapter 4

quote:

The mall was a zoo. Wall-to-wall people. Old people moving real slow. Married people with squalling babies in big huge strollers. High school kids trying to look cool. Mall police trying to look tough. Good-looking girls carrying bags from The Limited.

Your basic Saturday at the mall.

"Okay, where is Radio Shack?"Jake wondered.

"I don't know," I said.

"Is it up on the second level? You know, down by Sears?"

"Is that it? Or is that Circuit City?"

This is just a list of dead and dying mall stores now.

quote:

"Let me check the map over there. Ax? Come on with . . ." Jake stopped suddenly. "Marco? Where is Ax?"

I spun around. "He was right here!"

Bodies everywhere! All I saw were bodies. Men, women, boys, girls, babies. But no aliens.

At least not that I could see. We had lost Ax!

It had taken a total of about two minutes for us to mess up.

Then, suddenly, I saw a strangely familiar face.

"There he is! On the escalator!"

"How did he get all the way over there?" Jake demanded.

We took off after him, but it was so crowded we could barely move. Jake started pushing his way through. I grabbed him by the arm.

"Don't run, man. The mall cops will think you're ripping something off. Besides, we can't attract attention. Controllers shop, too."

Jake slowed instantly. "You're right. This many people, some of them are sure to be Controllers."

We threaded our way, moving as quickly as we could without being too obvious. I just kept saying "excuse me, excuse me," and tried not to bump into anyone who looked like he'd get mad and pound me.

It seemed to take forever to reach the escalator. By then we had totally lost sight of Ax.

"As long as he doesn't demorph we're okay," Jake said. "I mean, what's the worst he could do?"

Famous last words

quote:

"Jake, I don't want to think about the worst he could do," I said.

"There!"

"Where?"

"Over at Starbucks. The coffee place."

I'm not as tall as Jake so I couldn't see him as easily. But as we got near Starbucks, I spotted him. He was standing patiently in line.

We got to him just in time to hear him say, "I'll have . . . I-yull, lie, have a double latte, too. Double. Bull. Bull. Latayayay."

"He must have heard someone else say it," I whispered to Jake.

"Caff or decaf?" the clerk asked.

Ax stared. "Caff? Caff caff caff?"

"That will be two ninety-five."

Ax stared some more. "Fi-ive."

Jake reached into his pocket and yanked out the money he'd brought to pay for things at Radio Shack. "Here you go," he said, peeling off three dollars.

You know it's the '90s because you can get an espresso drink from Starbucks for less than $3. Also, I worry about caffinated Ax.

quote:

I took Ax's arm and guided him to the pickup window. "Ax, don't go off on your own, okay? We almost lost you."

"Lost? I am here. Hee-yar."

"Yeah, look, just stay close, okay?" I gave Jake a look. "See? It's your fault. You said, 'so far, so good.'"

The Starbucks guy handed Ax a paper cup.

Ax took it. He looked around to see what other people were doing. Like them, he put a lid on his cup.

Then, still mimicking the others, he attempted to drink.

"Um, Ax?" I said. "You have to drink where the little hole is in the lid."

"A hole! In the lid! No spills! Ills!"

This was the coolest thing Ax had ever seen. I guess coffee cup technology hasn't advanced very far on the Andalite home world. Probably be cause they don't have mouths, and so drinking is not a big concern. But whatever the reason, Ax wouldn't shut up about it.

"So simple! Imple. And yet so effective!"

"Yeah, it's a real miracle of human technology," I said.

"I have wanted to try other mouth uses. Drink ing. Eating." Then, as an afterthought, he added, "Eeee-ting. Ting."

"Just line the little hole up with your mouth," I said. "Come on, there's Radio Shack. We've already lost like ten minutes."

The two of us hemmed Ax in and herded him toward Radio Shack.

Then he drank the coffee.

"Ahhh! Ohhh! Oh, oh, oh, what? What? What is that?!"

"What?" I asked, alarmed. I swiveled my head back and forth, looking for some danger.

"A new sense. It ... I cannot explain it. It is ... it comes from this mouth." He pointed at his mouth. "It happened when I drank this liquid. It was pleasant. Very pleasant."

It took a few seconds for Jake and I to realize what he was talking about. "Oh. Taste! He's tasting it," Jake said. "He doesn't normally have the sense of taste."

"At least he stopped repeating sounds," I muttered.

"Taste," Ax said, contradicting me. "Aste. Tuh-aste."

He drank his coffee and we rushed him to Radio Shack. "Okay, look, Ax, we have very little time. See if the stuff you need is here."

I'll say this for Ax. He may have been a little weird by human standards, but the boy knows his technology. I mean, he went down the pegboards in the back of the store and just started lifting off different components.

"This must be a primitive gairtmof," he said, inspecting a small switch. "And this could be a sort of fleer. Very primitive, but it will work."

In ten minutes' time he'd accumulated a dozen components, ranging from coaxial cable to batteries to things I didn't even recognize.

"Good," he said at last. "All I lack is a Z- Space transponder. Transponder. PONder."

"A what?"

"A Z-Space transponder. It translates the signal into zero space."

I looked at Jake. "Zero space?"

Jake looked back at me and shrugged. "Never heard of it."

Ax looked doubtful. "Zero space," he repeated. "Zeeeero. The opposite of true space. Antireality." He looked patiently from one of us to the other. "Zero space, the nondimension where faster-than-light travel is possible. Bull. Possi-bull-uh."

"Oh," I said sarcastically. "That zero space. Um, Ax? Sorry to be so primitive and all, but we don't have faster-than-light travel. And I've never heard of zero space."

"Oh."

"Yeah. Oh."

The one flaw in their plan.

quote:

"Let's get this stuff and worry about the other thing later," Jake said calmly. But I could tell he was getting slightly hacked off. "I'll go pay for this stuff."

Ax drained the last of his coffee. "Taste," he said. "I would like more taste." He cocked his head. "I smell things. I believe . . . buh-leeve . . . blee . . . bleeve . . . there is a connection between smell and taste."

"Yeah, you're right," I said. "We can't travel faster than light, but we can make a sticky bun that smells pretty good."

"Sticky," Ax said. "Must I carry this?" he asked, indicating his empty coffee cup.

"No, you can just throw it away."

Bad choice of words. Ax threw the coffee cup. He threw it hard. It hit one of the cashiers in the head.

"Hey!"

"Sorry, it was an accident, man," I yelped, rushing to the cashier. "He's . . . he's sick. He, um, has this condition. You know, like out-of-control spasms."

Jake said, "Yeah, it's not his fault. It's like a seizure!"

The clerk rubbed his head. "Okay, forget it. Besides, he's out of here and that's all I care about."

"He's what?"

Jake and I turned fast. But Ax was gone.

They need to get one of those harnesses, like you have for little kids.

quote:

Jake grabbed the bag of stuff and raced after me out into the stream of people.

Ax was nowhere to be seen.

But then I looked down at the lower level. There was a crowd of people kind of surging. All moving in the same direction. Like they were running to see something.

"They're heading toward the food court," Jake said.

"Oh, I have a very bad feeling about this," I said.

We ran for the escalator. We shoved down it, yelling "excuse me" every two seconds.

We got to the food court. We wormed our way through a crowd of laughing, giggling, pointing people.

And there, all alone - because all the sane people had pulled away - was Ax.

He was racing like some lunatic from table to table, snatching up leftover food and shoving it in his mouth.

As I watched he grabbed a half-eaten slice of pizza.

"Taste!" he yelled as he scarfed a huge bite. He threw the rest of the pizza through the air. It just missed the mall cop who was closing in on him.

Ax couldn't care less. He had found a piece of Cinnabun. "This was the smell!" he cried. He jammed the roll in his mouth. "Ahhh! Ahhh! Taste! Taste! Wonderful! Ful. Ful."

"They do make a good sticky bun," I muttered to Jake.

"We have to get him out of here," Jake hissed.

"Too late. Look! Three more mall cops."

The cops jumped at Ax.

Ax decided it was a good time to throw the rest of the bun away. It hit the nearest cop in the face.

"Ax! Run! Run!" I yelled.

I guess I got through, because Ax ran.

Unfortunately, he couldn't run very well in his two-legged human morph.

So as he ran and stumbled, chased by huffing, puffing mall police, he began to change.

That went somewhere really fast.....

Somebody fucked around with this message at 01:42 on Jun 29, 2020

# ? Jun 28, 2020 23:29

Tree Bucket: Apr 1, 2016; R.I.P.idura leucophrys

That mall description made me flinch. No one's wearing masks!

Epicurius posted:

This is just a list of dead and dying mall stores now.

Ouch

# ? Jun 29, 2020 02:04

cptn_dr: Sep 7, 2011; Seven for beauty that blossoms and dies

The first time I went to America, I made a beeline for the Cinnabon at LAX, solely because I'd built it up so much in my head since I first read this book, aged about 7. Ax knows what's up.

# ? Jun 29, 2020 02:40

Radio Free Kobold: Aug 11, 2012; "Federal regulations mandate that at least 30% of our content must promote Reptilian or Draconic culture. This is DJ Scratch N' Sniff with the latest mermaid screeching on KBLD..."

oh god it just keeps getting worse and worse, ax, ax, you lovable idiot :cripes:

Avalerion posted:

Yea the books seem really insistent on wanting to make the 2 hour time limit a serious issue when with a little more planning it really shouldn't be.

That seems to be a running thing; things that shouldn't be problems, are, because these are 13 year old kids with barely the slightest clue what they're doing.

Epicurius posted:

"Okay, where is Radio Shack?"Jake wondered.

"I don't know," I said.

"Is it up on the second level? You know, down by Sears?"

"Is that it? Or is that Circuit City?"

wow, none of these stores exist anymore

# ? Jun 29, 2020 03:00

Tree Bucket: Apr 1, 2016; R.I.P.idura leucophrys

"Oh no! Ax has gotten into the telegraph station!"
"Look out! Ax is headed for the candle manufactory"

# ? Jun 29, 2020 03:35

Kchama: Jul 25, 2007

cptn_dr posted:

The first time I went to America, I made a beeline for the Cinnabon at LAX, solely because I'd built it up so much in my head since I first read this book, aged about 7. Ax knows what's up.

# ? Jun 29, 2020 05:29

Epicurius: Apr 10, 2010; College Slice

The Predator-Chapter 5

quote:

Stop!" a cop yelled. "I am ordering you to halt!"

But Ax wasn't interested in halting. He was panicked.

A woman stepped out of the Body Shop holding a bag full of colorful jars. Ax plowed into her. The bag went flying.

The stalks began to grow out of the top of his head. The extra eyes appeared on the ends and turned backward to watch the people chasing him.

Jake and I were two of those people. We were ahead of the cops, but not by much.

Fortunately, I guess the cops assumed we were just idiots running along for fun.

I could hear one of the cops yelling into his walkie-talkie. "Cut him off at the east entrance!"

Legs began to grow from the chest of Ax's human morph. His own front legs, small at first,

but growing rapidly.

He was slowing down as his human legs began to change. The knees were reversing direction. His spine elongated into the beginnings of a tail.

That's when the screaming started.

"Ahhhhhhhhh!"

"What is it? What IS it?"

People were screaming and running and dropping their bags as they caught a glimpse of the nightmare creature Ax had become. Half-human, half-Andalite. A fluid, shifting mess of halfformed features.

I couldn't blame them. I felt like screaming myself.

We were getting near the exit, racing past the shoe repair place.

Suddenly, Ax fell forward, tangled up in his own mutating legs. He skidded down the polished marble floor.

Most of the crowd had been left behind, but the mall police were still with us.

"You kids get out of the way!" one of them yelled at us. "This guy could be dangerous."

Ax sprang up. He was much more sure of himself, now that he was on his four Andalite hooves. The morph was almost entirely complete. His mouth was gone. His extra eyes were in place. His two arms and four legs were fully formed.

Then, at the very last, the tail appeared.

It was then that I heard the nearest mall cop, in an awed, frightened whisper, say, "Andalite!"

Uh-oh.

quote:

I quickly turned and looked at him. Only a Controller would recognize an Andalite.

The Controller cop drew his gun from his holster.

"RUN!" I yelled at Ax.

The Controller stood between Ax and the door. Big mistake. The Andalite tail flashed, faster than my eyes could follow. The cop's gun went flying through the air. He clutched at a hand that was red with blood.

Out the door we blew, running for our lives.

Sirens!

"Those are real cops coming," I said. "Not mall rent-a-cops!"

<Where should we go?> Ax demanded, reverting to thought-speak.

"Oh, now he wants advice?!" I looked around frantically. The bus was not going to be an option. The mall cops poured from the glass doors. The city police screamed toward us in their black- and-whites.

All we could do was run. So we ran. Up rows of parked cars. Two kids and a guy who did not belong on this planet.

"The grocery store!" Jake yelled.

"What?" I gasped. I was getting tired.

"In there!" he pointed. It was the grocery store across the parking lot. It was the only way we could go.

Police cars screeched to a halt all around us.

"Freeze!"

"I don't think so," I said.

We jetted through the big glass doors of the supermarket at a full, panicked run. I halfway expected to hear guns firing and bullets whizzing.

"Jake!" I yelled. "Help me here!" I had an idea for slowing down our pursuers. I grabbed a big row of parked grocery carts and shoved them back toward the doors. Jake grabbed on and helped.

Then we were off and running again, with Ax skittering shakily on the slippery floor and banging into groceries. Cans of olives and tomatoes crashed behind him.

Customers screamed and crashed their carts into each other.

"It's a monster! Mommy, it's a monster!" some little kid yelled.

"It's just a pretend monster," his mother said.

Yeah. A pretend monster. Right.

Then I saw our way out. It was at the end of the aisle. But I needed some time. I needed to get everyone out of our way. We couldn't have witnesses.

"There's a bomb!" I screamed, at the top of my lungs. "BOMB!"

"What?" Jake demanded.

"There's a bomb! A bomb in the store! Run! Run! Everyone out! A BOMB!"

Marco trying to solve the problem by making stuff worse.

quote:

"What are you doing?!" Jake yelled.

"The cops have the place surrounded. There's only one way out," I snapped. I pointed.

I pointed at the live lobster tank at the end of the aisle by the seafood counter.

"Oh, no," Jake groaned.

"Oh, yes." I grinned.

The shoppers were running in panic, either from the supposed bomb or just from Ax. But the baskets in the doorway and the people shoving to escape slowed the cops down for a precious few moments.

I had a feeling the Controller cops were making sure that no real cops came in after us. They wanted us for themselves. With no human witnesses.

"Let's go for a swim," I said.

It was a big lobster tank, fortunately. I hoisted myself up the side and climbed in. Jake was right behind me. We each grabbed a lobster and threw one to Ax.

It was not easy "acquiring" the lobster. It took concentration. And all I could think was that there were an awful lot of cops outside the store, probably getting ready to rush in. And they would all have guns.

The lobster went limp and passive, the way animals do when you acquire them.

I dropped him back in the water. We stripped off our outer clothes and shoes and stuffed them, along with the Radio Shack bag, in a trash can.
Ax had already begun to morph. Jake and I waited till he had shrunk a little and then hauled him into the tank with us.

He was already hard, like armor, and his arms had begun to split open and swell.

Then I began the morph.

I've been afraid a lot since we became Animorphs. But I have not gotten used to it. And I can tell you, I was so scared my bones were rattling.

At any second they were going to rush in.

At any moment they were going to catch us half-morphed.

I looked over at Jake. His eyes were gone, re placed by little black BBs.

"Ewww."

As I watched, eight spindly, blue, insectlike legs erupted from his chest.

"Aaaaahhh!" I yelped in shock.

Jake's face seemed to open up, to split open into a complex mess of valves. I think I would have thrown up, seeing that. Except that I, also, no longer had a mouth.

At that very moment, I felt antennae explode from my forehead like impossibly long spears.

I was shrinking as I morphed, falling, falling, falling down into the water which had been around my thighs and was now around my neck.

I had the terrifying sensation of knowing that all the bones inside my body were dissolving, as a hard, fingernail-like crust covered me all over.

My human body was melting away.

My human vision was fading. I could no longer see the way a human sees.

Which was a good thing. Because I really did not want to see what I was becoming.

I think I might have just started screaming and never stopped. But I no longer had a mouth, or throat, or vocal cords capable of making sounds.

I had four sets of legs. I had two huge pincers. I could see them, kind of. They were a fractured image in my lobster eyes. I couldn't see much of the rest of me. But I could see other lobsters in the water.

I was very frightened.

I honestly think this is the most disgusting morph this far.

quote:

Eat.

Eat.

Kill and eat.

The lobster brain surfaced suddenly, bubbling up within my human awareness. It had two thoughts.

Eat.

Eat.

Kill and eat.

I was getting input from senses I couldn't begin to understand. My extraordinarily long antennae felt water temperature, and water current, and vibration. But I didn't know what any of it meant.

My eyes were almost useless at first. They showed fractured, incredible images, with none of the colors I knew.

I could see my pincers out in front of me. I could see my antennae. And behind me I could see a curved, brownish-blue surface, with humps and bumps on it.

My body! I realized with a sickening sensation. That was my back. My hard shell.

I could not look down and see my belly, or the hairy swimmerets scurrying away, back beneath my tail. I could not see my eight spiderlike legs, but I could feel as they propelled me suddenly, scrabbling along the glass bottom of the tank.

<Jake?> I called out.

<Yeah. I'm here,> he said. He sounded shaky. Which was fine, because I was on the verge of crying. If lobsters could cry.

<You okay?>

<Yeah. This is not my favorite morph, though.>

<No,> I agreed. It was good being able to talk to him. I mean, you'd think you were losing your mind otherwise.

<Ax?> Jake called.

<I...I feel. ... I am hungry. This animal wants to eat,> Ax answered.

<Yeah, well, that's pretty normal for morphs,> I said. <Most animals care about food and not much else. I don't think lobsters are exactly geniuses^

<It wants to find prey,> Ax said wonderingly.

<I know. Who'd have figured lobsters were predators?> I said.

<It's easier to deal with a predator brain than with prey. That prey fear can be overwhelming,> Jake said.

I saw a lobster close by. <Is that you, Jake? Wiggle your left pincer.>

The left pincer did not move. I realized this lobster had a rubber band around his pincer.

None of us had rubber bands. Rubber bands were not a part of the lobster DNA.

I saw a lobster to my left, unbanded. And another behind him. That was the three of us. There were half a dozen rubber-banded lobsters floating or just sitting.

<Speaking of fear,> I said. <Can anyone see out of the tank ?>

<Just shadows,> Jake said. <These are pathetic eyes.>

<Yes, even worse than your human eyes,> Ax commented.

<This is really creepy,> I said. <I've never had an exoskeleton before.>

<These pincers are most excellent, though,> Ax said.

I saw him opening and closing them.

<Ax?> Jake said. <You say you can keep track of time accurately? Start tracking.>

<Yes, Prince Jake,> Ax said. <So far, ten of your minutes have passed.>

<That much?> I was surprised. <Ten minutes? The cops must have come in by now.>

<l was thinking the same thing,> Jake said.

<We better wait as long as we can. Close to the full two hours,> I said. <Although I really don't want to spend any more time than I have to in this creepy morph.>

Welp. And you thought the possibility of being stuck as a hawk was bad....

# ? Jun 29, 2020 23:48

disaster pastor: May 1, 2007

How to get extra-disturbed as a youngster reading Animorphs:

1) read about Jake's face splitting as part of the lobster morph
2) go online and find a close-up image of a lobster's face
3) try to imagine how a human face would have to split and sprout to become a lobster's face
4) nightmares

Now, 20+ years later, you don't even have to imagine, there's probably a website that will animate it for you.

# ? Jun 29, 2020 23:57

Soup du Jour: Sep 8, 2011; I always knew I'd die with a headache.

Jake, Ax, and Marco are about to get a lot of opinions on cleaning your room

# ? Jun 30, 2020 03:45

chitoryu12: Apr 24, 2014

disaster pastor posted:

How to get extra-disturbed as a youngster reading Animorphs:

1) read about Jake's face splitting as part of the lobster morph
2) go online and find a close-up image of a lobster's face
3) try to imagine how a human face would have to split and sprout to become a lobster's face
4) nightmares

Now, 20+ years later, you don't even have to imagine, there's probably a website that will animate it for you.

There's also this behind the scenes footage of The Thing prequel!

# ? Jun 30, 2020 04:18

Tree Bucket: Apr 1, 2016; R.I.P.idura leucophrys

"These pincers are most excellent, though" is one of the best Ax lines

# ? Jun 30, 2020 04:45

Fuschia tude: Dec 26, 2004; THUNDERDOME LOSER 2019

Epicurius posted:

The plan is to cover all of the books except for the Alternamorphs books. They're going to be covered in print order, which means Megamorphs 1 will be after book 7, 2 will be after book 18, 3 after book 28, and 4 after book 39. Andalite Chronicles will be after book 13, . Hork-Bajr Chronicles after 23, Visser after 35, and the Elemist Chronicles after 47.

There's probably some "official timeline" somewhere, but I don't know where it is, so I'm going with chronological order.

Apparently publishing order is the official canonical order. A wiki said it so it must be true.

# ? Jun 30, 2020 07:38

Epicurius: Apr 10, 2010; College Slice

Fuschia tude posted:

Apparently publishing order is the official canonical order. A wiki said it so it must be true.

Who am I to argue with a wiki? Publishing order it is!

# ? Jun 30, 2020 13:33

Epicurius: Apr 10, 2010; College Slice

Chapter 6

quote:

According to Ax, an hour had passed when it happened.

I felt a strange disturbance in the water. Something large had splashed in. I sensed something above me.

Before I could think or react, I felt pressure on my shell.

I was rising rapidly through the water, being lifted.

<Jake! Something has me!>

Sudden shock!

I was out of the water.

Dryness. Heat. My antennae waved wildly as I tried to understand. My eyes registered nothing but bright light and huge, indistinct shadows.

Something large closed my right pincer forcibly. I could not open it. Then my left.

Rubber bands! I couldn't see them in this waterless environment. I was nearly blind. But I knew what had happened.

Someone had picked me up and rubber-banded my pincers.

Then I was tumbling, sliding, rubbing against things I could tell were other lobsters.

<Jake! Are you in this, too?>

<Yeah, but don't ask me what it means. I can't see or hear very well.>

<Is it them? Is it Controllers?>

Something very cold dropped on me and slithered around my body.

Ice?

I felt a sensation of swinging back and forth for a while, like being on a swing.

<Ax?>

<Yes, Marco. I am here, too. What is happening?>

<You got me,> I said. <Maybe the cops have us. Maybe the Controllers have us. I don't know.>

<Let's stay in morph as long as we can,> Jake said. <Maybe we'll figure it out. But if the Controllers have us, the last thing we want to do is demorph.>

The ice seemed to be making me sleepy. Or not exactly sleepy, just slow. Sluggish.

I guess I kind of zoned out for a while. I didn't know for how long, until I became suddenly alert and heard Ax's drowsy voice in my head saying, <We have only seven minutes left.>

That jolted me. I was not about to spend the rest of my life trapped as a lobster.

<Okay, I am out of this morph, I don't care who sees,> I yelled.

<Agreed,> Jake said. <Time's up. We have to take our chances.>

<At least it's warmer now,> I said. I tried to look around, but my antennae felt nothing in the air. And my eyes only saw meaningless, blurry gray forms.
I focused on demorphing. I wondered if I could close my human eyes when Jake started to reappear. I really did not want to watch Jake and Ax demorph. Once had been enough. I would already have nightmares for a month.

<Here goes,> I said. I began the change.

But just then I again felt the sensation of pressure on my shell. My pincers came free.

Someone, or something, had removed the rubber bands.

And suddenly I felt a warmth billowing up around me.

Steam.

<Oh, no.>

I guess it's lucky that whoever wanted a lobster dinner decided to buy all three of them

quote:

<NOOOOOO!> I screamed silently.

I knew where I was! I was in someone's hand, about to be dropped into a pot of boiling water.

<NOOOOOOOOO!>

And maybe it was because I was so desperate to scream, or maybe it was just the luck of the morph, but my human mouth was one of the first
things to emerge.

Small, open lips appeared in place of my lobster mouth.

I didn't have normal lungs or vocal cords yet, so I couldn't make a sound.

But I guess I didn't have to.

I guess suddenly having lips appear on a lobster was enough to make the woman drop me. I fell. My front pincers caught the edge of the pan. Sheer dumb luck. I hung onto the edge of the pan as my tail curled up, inches above the boiling water in the pot.

I grew rapidly, becoming a baby-sized creature half-covered with hard cuticle, half flesh.

Human eyes grew in place of the useless stalk eyes. The antennae sucked back into my forehead. I heard a grinding sound as my spine reappeared inside me.

With a desperate surge of energy, I tumbled over the side of the pan and landed flat on my shell back, atop the stove. I was looking up into a stove hood.

I rolled away from the heat and fell.

But the fall wasn't far, because I was now the size of a toddler, more human than lobster. I was one nasty-looking kid, though, with eight legs growing from my stomach and chest.

My human hearing returned with shocking effect.

"Ahhhhhh! Ahhhhhhh! Ahhhhhh! Ahhhhhhh! Ahhhhhhh!"

Someone was screaming uncontrollably.

My legs were back! I stood up. I looked around and saw a woman. Sort of pretty, except for the fact that her eyes were wide with terror and she was screaming.

"Ahhhhhhhh! Ahhhhhhhhh! Ahhhhhhhh!"

I glanced over and saw the plastic bag filled with ice. That's how she had carried us from the supermarket. Now we were in her kitchen. Jake was already mostly human, standing with one foot still in the grocery bag. The eight legs sucked into his chest. His human eyes appeared.

Ax was a truly disgusting combination of Andalite and lobster. But as I watched, he eliminated the last traces of crustacean.

Unfortunately, this did not make the woman feel any better.

Doubling down on the body horror in this book. But maybe that's just Marco less delicate about it than our previous narrators.

quote:

"Ahhhhhhhhh! Ahhhhhhhhhh! Ahhhhhhhh!"

"It's okay, ma'am," I said. "We're not going to hurt you."

"Calm down, ma'am," Jake said. "Please calm down."

Her eyes darted wildly from me to Jake to Ax. She kept screaming.

"Ahhhhhhhhh! Ahhhhhhhhh! Ahhhhhhh!"

"Look, it's okay," I said. "We're going to leave. No one is going to hurt you."

"You . . . you . . . you . . . you . . . lobsters!" she managed to say.

"Yeah, it is slightly weird, I'll admit," I said. "But it's okay. It's just a dream."

"A ... a ... a dream?"

"Yes, ma'am. Just a dream," Jake said reassuringly.

I looked at Ax. "Can you morph to human yet? We need to get out of here."

"I can morph again," he assured me. And he started right away.

"We're going to leave now," Jake said. "You can wake up later, okay? But I wouldn't tell any one about this dream."
The woman shook her head violently.
"See, it could get you in trouble with . . . with certain people. Besides, folks would just think you're crazy."

She nodded with extreme conviction.

Ax was almost human. We were all dressed in our slightly ridiculous morphing outfits, but they would have to do.

We headed for the door. Then I caught sight of three more lobsters, still in the bag of ice. I guess it was supposed to be a dinner for six.

"Ma'am?" I asked. "Do us a favor, would you, please? Take those other guys down to the beach and let them go. Okay?"

So lets say you're throwing a party, and so you go and buy some lobsters. Then, when you get home, two of them turn into people and one into some weird deer/scorpion hybrid. That's got to be bad for the psyche.

Epicurius fucked around with this message at 00:28 on Jul 1, 2020

# ? Jun 30, 2020 23:58

chitoryu12: Apr 24, 2014

This book is loving horrifying.

# ? Jul 1, 2020 00:11

HisMajestyBOB: Oct 21, 2010; College Slice

Robot Style posted:

This reminded me of the extremely web 1.0 website dedicated to debunking Andalite torsos.

ANDALITE TRUTH DOT ORG

That's pretty much exactly what I thought Andalites looked like up until the first book with one on the cover.
K.A. Applegate said "scorpion tail" and that's the only picture of an Andalite with anything like a scorpion tail. :colbert:

# ? Jul 1, 2020 02:40

Radio Free Kobold: Aug 11, 2012; "Federal regulations mandate that at least 30% of our content must promote Reptilian or Draconic culture. This is DJ Scratch N' Sniff with the latest mermaid screeching on KBLD..."

jesus christ what the gently caress

# ? Jul 1, 2020 05:30

Ravenfood: Nov 4, 2011

Radio Free Kobold posted:

jesus christ what the gently caress

Yeah I don't remember this at all. Goddamn that's horrifying

# ? Jul 1, 2020 13:29

Kazzah: Jul 15, 2011; Formerly known as
Krazyface; Hair Elf

Not even the worst thing that happens in this book

# ? Jul 1, 2020 13:39

disaster pastor: May 1, 2007

Krazyface posted:

Not even the worst thing that happens in this book

I was just about to say! People talk about "remember book 5? God, that was so hosed up" and they're not talking about this part.

# ? Jul 1, 2020 13:56

Cernunnos: Sep 2, 2011; ppbbbbttttthhhhh~

We have such sights to show you.

# ? Jul 1, 2020 13:59

Soup du Jour: Sep 8, 2011; I always knew I'd die with a headache.

Marco�s life is just unceasing insanity

# ? Jul 1, 2020 14:26

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 26, 2024 18:18

Aston: Nov 19, 2007; Okay
Okay
Okay
Okay
Okay

Thanks to this thread, I've re-read the whole series while in lockdown. I'd originally read them when they came out, but only up to the mid-30s, so I'd never read the ending although I had been spoiled on some parts of it.

Whilst it is a bit uneven, especially in the 25-45 section (Helmacrons, anyone?), I have to say I really think it holds up, and the ending especially is fantastic. A lot gets said about the body horror of the series, such as what has just happened in this book and what people are alluding to later on, but I think it's more the slow creep of how the war wears on all of the characters, and brings out some of their worst aspects and the best, that makes it so compelling. I'd highly recommend the series to anyone, but maybe look up a list of some of the weaker books to skip, and make sure you stick it through to the end.

# ? Jul 1, 2020 14:45

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > Let's Read Animorphs! The Whole Series! Ch-ch-ch-chaaanges

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