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Realize that falling in love with someone is just the results of a series of generic events that can occur between you and basically anyone who meets your standards of attractiveness. It's just an emotional manifestation of a handfull of chemicals bouncing back and forth. It's not the holy grail of living, it's not your reason to exist and it's definitely not something reserved for "that one person." Accept that you are just an animal with a big brain that allows him to fret over what only amounts to a game of hormone pool. What you're feeling is not your soul dying a gurgling, ugly death, but withdrawal. All the happy chemicals that saturated your body when you were with him are kicking out cold turkey, and your body is screaming bloody murder, where are my loving endorphins? It's just chocolate. Find a new bar.
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Jul 15, 2020 13:58
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| # ? Jun 9, 2024 22:00 |
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A loose female acquaintance of mine calls me at 1:00am today and asks me if I could print something on the computer for her and bring it over in the afternoon. "Hey yeah sure sure, whatever you need I'll help you, I'm all yours," I tell her. She sends me this file and lo and behold I can't open it. It's made in Microsoft Publisher and I don't have that program so I begin panicing, trying to find this program or a way to print the file. Scouring the internet yields no results and I do my usual pacing in my room. I finally come up with an idea and I tell the girl, if I can proceed with it. The plan was I would carry my printer about 2miles to her house, print out the needed pages, maybe talk to her a bit while I was there. I was hoping for at least a hug out of this ordeal. By the time I get there, I'm wet all over from sweating in the +90 degree heat outside and carrying a heavy motherfucking HP Deskjet printer. The first thing I see upon entering her room (my first time in a girl's bedroom) are some panties on her bed. After the initial shock of seeing such a horrific sight for the first time, I setup the printer and get my job done. However, I did consider sniffing the lingere when she left the room once, but with the wuss that I am, I just ended up staring at them the whole while. That was a sarcastic joke for those of you too stupid to realize that To make a long story short, just as I was finishing up with the printing job (which was hefty), her boyfriend and his gay friend walk in, say hello, and begin hanging out in the room as they waited for the girl to finish this work so they could go to the mall. This effectively ruins my chances of getting a hug and I walk another 2 miles home with the motherfucking printer in hand. The only thing that I got out of this were some very painful fingers and a "thanks" as I walked out her bedroom door. So, am I pathetic for doing all these things? It wouldn't be the first time I've pledged my heart and soul to a girl and gotten back almost nothing in return. I would hate turning her or anyone else I knew down or making up some lie.
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Jul 15, 2020 14:00
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Poor Freckles, thought of ants and died
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Jul 15, 2020 14:11
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I legitimately love goons 
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Jul 15, 2020 14:28
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This is stupid. You’re stupid.
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Jul 15, 2020 14:40
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Get beefy.
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Jul 15, 2020 15:48
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Cat Army
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I never found out exactly what a Lond was
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Jul 15, 2020 16:01
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"fart"
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Jul 15, 2020 16:14
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PILED HIGH
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Jul 15, 2020 17:15
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wom
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Jul 15, 2020 17:22
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get real beefy bitch
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Jul 15, 2020 17:25
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F... Fingerbang that little turd
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Jul 15, 2020 17:54
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I always forget the part of the printer story where the guy stares at the “horrific sight” of panties on a bed, then gets mad at himself for being a “wuss” when he didn’t go in for a big sniff. Carrying the printer was sad, but that poo poo is psychotic.
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Jul 15, 2020 17:56
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am I misremembering or did printer goon not end up killing themselves? i might be mixing them up with the goon who suggested their friends take a course in gender studies in their suicide note
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Jul 15, 2020 18:01
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Chewbecca posted:It's just chocolate. Find a new bar. This is the only part of the quote that I remembered, and holy crap the rest of it is even goonier.
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Jul 15, 2020 19:33
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Not really a quote but Chinatown owning Burt by providing a photographic record of printing Burt’s post out and crumpling it up and throwing it in the toilet was pretty good.
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Jul 15, 2020 20:02
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You dodged a massive loving bullet, man. The really huge Super Mario kind with the eyes on the side, where you had to run and duck into the little divot to avoid shrinking. You did that. You got into that divot, and you're still super sized, and you can break blocks with your face. Now get out there and step on some loving turtles.
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Jul 15, 2020 20:13
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Someone's red text: "What times are these that a man cannot hold another man's scrotum in the palm of his hand as an act a friendship without risking being called a member of the homosexual community"
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Jul 15, 2020 20:18
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Hed posted:You dodged a massive loving bullet, man. The really huge Super Mario kind with the eyes on the side, where you had to run and duck into the little divot to avoid shrinking. You did that. You got into that divot, and you're still super sized, and you can break blocks with your face. Now get out there and step on some loving turtles. Banzai Bill
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Jul 15, 2020 20:19
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A picture says a thousand words, and I can't choose just one so I apologize for the essay.    
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Jul 15, 2020 20:19
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Lost a fingat
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Jul 15, 2020 20:25
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I have a couple Mayor Wilkins posted: OP: "Help! HELP! I'm stuck in a well!!!" Goons1-4: "Climb! Climb up and take our hands!" OP: "I'm thinking I should dig... should I dig?" Goon5: "NO! I was trapped in a well, and digging is a bad idea! Climb out!" Goons6-8: "Were lowering ropes! Take hold of a rope!" Goon9: "I've even tied a harness to the end of this one!" OP: "I can feel the ropes, but I don't want to hold onto them... should I dig?" Goon10: "No! If you dig, you'll hit water, and then you'll be proper hosed. I should know, I almost drowned." OP: "I dug a little bit just now, and I haven't hit water. I'm gonna keep digging..." Goons11-18: "No! Climb! Climb out!" OP: "Guys, I'm seriously stuck in this well! Help! HELP!!!" Goon19: "I was trapped in a well once. It took me two years, but I managed to build a climbing machine that pulled me to safety out of a well bucket and a pocket watch. I'm dropping the blueprints, extra buckets, and an assortment of pocket watches." Goon20: "I've engineered a jet-pack that will rocket you to safety. Stay where you are and we'll lower it down!" OP: "Thanks for your help, guys. I'm gonna keep digging. I'll find the Mines of Moria and I'll just walk to the surface." **Goons1-20 piss in the well** Goon21: "Guys, seriously... stop peeing in the well." Goon22:"Yeah, like any of you guys have even seen a real well, you neckbearded, WOW-addicted shut-ins." Unknown: This dipshit could've stacked pussy like euthanasia tuesday at the animal shelter if he'd learned power chords and started a hardcore band. Triticum Guzzler posted: its really amazing how the actions of goons and mods are so freaking far beyond the pale that its actually impossible for a bystander to believe. proposal: i am going to make an environmentally sustainable yoga retreat in hawaii reality: a y2k survivalist paid goons a "food stipend" to help me clearcut a rainforest, dig a road by hand, torture and mutilate animals to death on camera, and bathe in/drink from an improperly filtered kiddy pool that wild hogs poo poo and pissed in proposal: i am going to make a fun zipline for kids at camp reality: a goon spent tens of thousands of dollars constructing a machine that kills children, entirely by accident proposal: a fad diet thread in the exercise forum reality: a mentally ill man resembling a melted candle, the pied piper of ham joints, told people that eating nothing but eggs and bacon and lard in paint buckets (they were literally buying and eating buckets full of lard in the name of good health) would not only make them lose weight, but was so healthy it would cure heart disease and cancer. an enormous fat powerlifter who cant run for 20 seconds probated and banned anyone who challenged this wisdom until it lead to a man barely in his 20s being prescribed statins. proposal: a thread about animal husbandry in the pet forum reality: a moderator unrepentantly killed animals with ac/dc hadoukens and probated people who asked questions proposal: a forum for "responsible drug users" and "harm reduction" reality: a man falls through the earth and into parisian catacombs. taking a torch from the wall he spies row upon row of skeletons. grasping the nearest by the shoulders, he shakes it madly, yelling "my nigga have u tried lsd"
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Jul 15, 2020 20:43
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DarkSoulsTantrum posted:Not really a quote but Chinatown owning Burt by providing a photographic record of printing Burt’s post out and crumpling it up and throwing it in the toilet was pretty good. lol that was a slow day at work
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Jul 15, 2020 21:23
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'fecal lasagna'
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Jul 15, 2020 22:40
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Voila! Enjoy your mustard stain 
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Jul 16, 2020 02:15
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SilvergunSuperman posted:A picture says a thousand words, and I can't choose just one so I apologize for the essay.
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Jul 16, 2020 02:17
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Sid Vicious posted:so you work from home
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Jul 16, 2020 02:45
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Line em up
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Jul 16, 2020 03:57
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*points to my dilznick*
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Jul 16, 2020 04:50
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smashman eat the egg
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Jul 16, 2020 05:43
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Alright alright alright
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Jul 16, 2020 05:45
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Antivehicular posted:I still think about "get REAL BEEFY, bitch"/"li'l pissbitch" guy sometimes. I hope he's doing well. Aww, that's really nice  I'm doing great; convinced a nice lady to marry me and we got a kid on the way. I've got her singing combination oink/coin songs so I'd say she's totally fine with all my squang talk. I don't do the beefy thing as much these days but I love singing a good bean song still, that hasn't changed. Wife loves bean songs too.gently caress me this is stupid but I'm happy and honored that my dumbshit little mantra made such an impression on folks  tickles me to this very day
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Jul 16, 2020 06:33
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i wonder how the guy who posted his workout regimen over and over in an E/N thread is doing
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Jul 16, 2020 06:35
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"yikeseroo"
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Jul 16, 2020 06:36
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How long will it take to capture Baghdad? 2 days Will Saddam be killed? Yes Total Iraqi civillian casualties: 500 dead Total military casualties Iraq: 3000 dead Total military casualties U.S.: 15 dead Will the Iraqi army regulars hold the lines? No Will the Republican Guard fight to the end? No Will chem/bio weapons be used on invading troops?: Yes Will Saddam launch attacks on the Kurds? Yes Will Saddam launch attacks on Israel? No -If yes; will Isreal retaliate harshly? Yes Will Saddam sacrifice Baghdad (gas/nuke it)? No Will the Kurds make a grab for independence? Yes Will Iran do anything silly like try for land? Yes Will Saddam burn the oil fields? Yes How long will the US be occupying Iraq? ~15 years Will the Iraq war catalyze increased terrorism in America?No In the long run, will this war be good or bad for the world? Good We have to look at what those civilian casualties are- just because they're civilian doesn't make them innocent! Lets take a look at a few possibilities: 1) A civilian walking down the street to market gets killed by a cruise missile fired at the market. 2) A civilian asleep in their house is killed when their house is targetting by a smart bomb and blown up. OK, these two are regrettable innocents being killed- but since the US doesn't make a habit of targetting markets or houses, they're very small in number! 3) A civilian working at a chemical weapon factory gets killed when the chemical weapon plant is bombed. 4) A civilian security guard at a weapons depot is killed when the weapons explode. 5) A civilian contractor repairing a tank is killed by a MOAB dropped on the unit. 6) A civilian engineer is killed when the military command center he works at is destroyed. 7) A civilian delivering snackiecakes to the baghdad bunker vending machines eats a 5,000lb bunker buster. etc, etc. The list goes on. My point is that there are a lot of civilians directly supporting the military that aren't exactly "innocent" and would be mire rightly counted among the military casualties than civilian. I'm a civilian and work for the US military, but I acknowledge I'm also a valid military target because of what I do. And I think the vast majority of civilian casualties in this campaign will not be innocent.
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Jul 16, 2020 06:37
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going off of memory here: "Buddy I can and do poo poo my pants for free." -some poster talking about the merits of taco bell "  "-some poster offering kind words to a goon who got diagnosed with paranasal sinus cancer "dad general, tso what" -dont remember the context, but it sure as hell came from here. "man gbs is closing im gonna miss amazing threads such as: Popular show actually sucks Popular game actually sucks Popular hobby actual sucks Hate fat people Hate mountains Hate china Stalk the racist hot dog man/stalk the autistic programmer kid thank god this is only temporary so I can post with hate in my heart again" -goon on describing GBS being shut down for a few weeks e: [screaming] "IM NOT SCREAMING!!!!!" -schmorky's girl screaming in an audio file
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Jul 16, 2020 06:52
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Anime club, dude just rep your work I'm like a Super Saiyan stuffed in a checkered shirt
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Jul 16, 2020 06:56
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tane
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Jul 16, 2020 06:58
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youll never sustain a sicker burn than the insane + brutal carpet-borne friction from backpedalling after the worm turned on your fucker moron hotdog altriusm. your legs flailed in ever gayer circles fred flintstone style as you raced from the lego den to the computer room to let people know that your self appointed ambassadorial duties plus the time and money you spent trying to take more professional photographs of ersatz retard hotdogs were all part of your incredible joke. you cannot save face or be even remotely not gay.
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Jul 16, 2020 07:04
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| # ? Jun 9, 2024 22:00 |
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Also “tongue punch my fart box”
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Jul 16, 2020 07:05
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