Coding Horrors: You can gather all your technical debt into one easy framework!

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > The Cavern of COBOL > Coding Horrors: You can gather all your technical debt into one easy framework!

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Hammerite: Mar 9, 2007; And you don't remember what I said here, either, but it was pompous and stupid.; Jade Ear Joe

On looking at it further, I've realised that what I wrote up there is a bit unfair in one respect. The information regarding whether the values are relative or absolute is actually contained in the database (in other tables). The reason why the external file is involved is that the correct output of the program may be absolute values or relative values, depending on what the external file says. All 4 combinations of conditions may in principle occur (the values are relative and should remain relative in the output, the values are relative but need to be absolute in the output, the values are absolute but need to be relative in the output, the values are absolute and should remain absolute in the output).

# ? Jul 16, 2020 18:39

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# ? Jun 6, 2024 00:52

ultrafilter: Aug 23, 2007; It's okay if you have any questions.

Well that makes it all better then.

# ? Jul 16, 2020 18:42

Hammerite: Mar 9, 2007; And you don't remember what I said here, either, but it was pompous and stupid.; Jade Ear Joe

The application I'm replacing was built by slightly less crazy people, unfortunately they weren't really giving it the attention it deserved and so there are loads of 500-line methods that perform one database query after another and then just jam all the variables together at the end (also some of the variables inform how other variables should be interpreted). And the chief guy (who is retired now) was a subject matter expert and didn't feel the need to really document half this poo poo, so occasionally to figure out what something is for I spend time following through C++ code with single-letter variable names.

I've been given free reign to rewrite this, but everything I do takes ten times as long as I think it will and I'm worried that they will get impatient and ask me why it's taking so long and the only answer I can give is "well basically everything about this is a pile of bollocks so I have to spend time figuring everything out really carefully"

# ? Jul 16, 2020 19:33

NtotheTC: Dec 31, 2007

I wondered if we worked for the same company there for a while but there are enough differences, coupled with the fact that just lmao at us being allowed (or able) to rewrite this behemoth. Just chiming in to commiserate with a fellow "entity" table sufferer

# ? Jul 16, 2020 19:39

more falafel please: Feb 26, 2005; forums poster

Hammerite posted:

The application I'm replacing was built by slightly less crazy people, unfortunately they weren't really giving it the attention it deserved and so there are loads of 500-line methods that perform one database query after another and then just jam all the variables together at the end (also some of the variables inform how other variables should be interpreted). And the chief guy (who is retired now) was a subject matter expert and didn't feel the need to really document half this poo poo, so occasionally to figure out what something is for I spend time following through C++ code with single-letter variable names.

I've been given free reign to rewrite this, but everything I do takes ten times as long as I think it will and I'm worried that they will get impatient and ask me why it's taking so long and the only answer I can give is "well basically everything about this is a pile of bollocks so I have to spend time figuring everything out really carefully"

Spend a little bit of your time documenting your efforts. Write up a TDD for the rewrite, write up some estimates, when you hit a snag and have to spend three days figuring out what a component does, document your progress. Then when someone says "why is this taking so long" you have something concrete to point to to show "yes, I'm doing work, it's taking longer than I thought, because this was completely hosed and I have to reverse engineer the entire thing"

# ? Jul 16, 2020 20:24

Drastic Actions: Apr 7, 2009; FUCK YOU!
GET PUMPED!; Nap Ghost

https://twitter.com/drasticactionSA/status/1284180770777636866

I would have loved to have been in that Slack after I sent this...

# ? Jul 17, 2020 21:00

Ola: Jul 19, 2004

Drastic Actions posted:

https://twitter.com/drasticactionSA/status/1284180770777636866

I would have loved to have been in that Slack after I sent this...

Haha, cool! Did you come across it by accident or do you scrape for it?

# ? Jul 17, 2020 21:12

Absurd Alhazred: Mar 27, 2010; by Athanatos

Here, have some vintage coding horrors:

https://twitter.com/Sosowski/status/1285135003895160832

# ? Jul 20, 2020 20:52

Lime: Jul 20, 2004

That auto var made me do a double take. Very prescient.

# ? Jul 20, 2020 22:40

ultrafilter: Aug 23, 2007; It's okay if you have any questions.

auto meant something else back then.

# ? Jul 20, 2020 23:06

pokeyman: Nov 26, 2006; That elephant ate my entire platoon.

auto is the exception to the rule of infuriating c++ syntax reuse.

# ? Jul 20, 2020 23:21

Lime: Jul 20, 2004

ultrafilter posted:

auto meant something else back then.

Yes, that was the joke.

C has type inference, so long as the type you want is int.

# ? Jul 21, 2020 02:00

Qwertycoatl: Dec 31, 2008

Coding horror technology has advanced greatly since that book was published
https://twitter.com/jfbastien/status/1285390568957177856

# ? Jul 21, 2020 10:08

Hammerite: Mar 9, 2007; And you don't remember what I said here, either, but it was pompous and stupid.; Jade Ear Joe

I thought Perl was the language where you could just type any old garbage and it runs

# ? Jul 21, 2020 10:18

Zopotantor: Feb 24, 2013; ...und ist er drin dann lassen wir ihn niemals wieder raus...

Hammerite posted:

I thought Perl was the language where you could just type any old garbage and it runs

Not just type.

# ? Jul 21, 2020 10:56

Xerophyte: Mar 17, 2008; This space intentionally left blank

Hammerite posted:

I thought Perl was the language where you could just type any old garbage and it runs

If you want a language explicitly designed so that any old garbage is a valid program, can I recommend Jot?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Iota_and_Jot posted:

Jot is the regular language consisting of all sequences of 0 and 1,
code:
jot = "" | jot "0" | jot "1"
The semantics is given by translation to SKI expressions. The empty string denotes I, w0 denotes (([w]S)K), where [w] is the translation of w, and w1 denotes (S(K[w])).

Iota and the other universal combinators are in some ways nicer in that the boil Turing completeness down to a language consisting of a single operator, but I admire Jot's dedication to making any string meaningful.

# ? Jul 21, 2020 11:33

Tei: Feb 19, 2011; Can't post for 4 days!

Something I have always wanted to wrote but is not legit code is something like this

code:

class Foo{

    Foo(){
	 printf("hello world\n");
    }

}

Foo foo;

void * main = main;

*sniff* *sadface*

# ? Jul 21, 2020 12:08

dick traceroute: Feb 24, 2010; Open the pod bay doors, Hal.; Grimey Drawer

Hammerite posted:

I thought Perl was the language where you could just type any old garbage and it runs

Can't locate object method "any" via package "old" (perhaps you forgot to load "old"?) at main.pl line 1.

# ? Jul 21, 2020 14:33

Absurd Alhazred: Mar 27, 2010; by Athanatos

https://twitter.com/afilina/status/1286418391616688130

# ? Jul 23, 2020 22:53

ultrafilter: Aug 23, 2007; It's okay if you have any questions.

Source

# ? Aug 5, 2020 14:52

NihilCredo: Jun 6, 2011; iram omni possibili modo preme:
plus una illa te diffamabit, quam multæ virtutes commendabunt

ultrafilter posted:

Source

I see a face with a mustache.

# ? Aug 5, 2020 15:40

Sagacity: May 2, 2003; Hopefully my epitaph will be funnier than my custom title.

NihilCredo posted:

I see a face with a mustache.

On the Something Awful comedy forums that's one of the best possible outcomes regarding potentially visible pictures.

# ? Aug 5, 2020 15:49

CPColin: Sep 9, 2003; Big ol' smile.

What is that dev doing to their indents??

# ? Aug 5, 2020 16:05

Volmarias: Dec 31, 2002; EMAIL... THE INTERNET... SEARCH ENGINES...

ultrafilter posted:

Source

Extremely cursed joke post

# ? Aug 5, 2020 16:12

ultrafilter: Aug 23, 2007; It's okay if you have any questions.

# ? Aug 5, 2020 16:17

Macichne Leainig: Jul 26, 2012; by VG

Look, most of my code is godawful for a lot of reasons, but at least I can say it's not bad because I massacred my indentation. :stonk:

# ? Aug 5, 2020 17:32

Xik: Mar 10, 2011; Dinosaur Gum

ultrafilter posted:

When the new dev interprets the column line as a target rather then a suggested maximum.

# ? Aug 5, 2020 23:18

NihilCredo: Jun 6, 2011; iram omni possibili modo preme:
plus una illa te diffamabit, quam multæ virtutes commendabunt

ultrafilter posted:

I see somebody installed the Arkanoid IDE plugin.

# ? Aug 5, 2020 23:24

Ola: Jul 19, 2004

What tool do you have to install to gain control of your own indentation?

# ? Aug 5, 2020 23:35

ultrafilter: Aug 23, 2007; It's okay if you have any questions.

Ola posted:

What tool do you have to install to gain control of your own indentation?

gcc

# ? Aug 5, 2020 23:51

Blue Footed Booby: Oct 4, 2006; got those happy feet

https://twitter.com/RichardWestenra/status/765488378951376896

# ? Aug 6, 2020 20:03

Zopotantor: Feb 24, 2013; ...und ist er drin dann lassen wir ihn niemals wieder raus...

Blue Footed Booby posted:

https://twitter.com/RichardWestenra/status/765488378951376896

Missed "zip" and misspelled "qux", would not trust this guy with my metasyntactics.

# ? Aug 7, 2020 06:27

Kilson: Jan 16, 2003; I EAT LITTLE CHILDREN FOR BREAKFAST !!11!!1!!!!111!

Zopotantor posted:

Missed "zip" and misspelled "qux", would not trust this guy with my metasyntactics.

I've always seen it spelled "quux"

# ? Aug 7, 2020 15:34

Space Gopher: Jul 31, 2006; BLITHERING IDIOT AND HARDCORE DURIAN APOLOGIST. LET ME TELL YOU WHY THIS SHIT DON'T STINK EVEN THOUGH WE ALL KNOW IT DOES BECAUSE I'M SUPER CULTURED.

Kilson posted:

I've always seen it spelled "quux"

Don't forget the part where further variables get names like "quuux" and "quuuux", because when your code is incomprehensible, that means you're super smart.

# ? Aug 7, 2020 15:37

CPColin: Sep 9, 2003; Big ol' smile.

Quuuux Skywalker

# ? Aug 7, 2020 15:42

Volguus: Mar 3, 2009

Web development in 2020:

https://i.imgur.com/gHqkycX.mp4

(This is from a live TV sports website, not some local development gone wrong)

# ? Aug 7, 2020 19:00

Tei: Feb 19, 2011; Can't post for 4 days!

Volguus posted:

Web development in 2020:

https://i.imgur.com/gHqkycX.mp4

(This is from a live TV sports website, not some local development gone wrong)

Good. That favicon.png need to exist.

Maybe the server can produce a HTTP 204 has a passive agressive answer.

# ? Aug 7, 2020 19:24

MrMoo: Sep 14, 2000

All you have to do is look at the console on Chrome home page to see what a cluster gently caress things are. That page always has warnings or errors of some variety.

# ? Aug 7, 2020 19:40

Volmarias: Dec 31, 2002; EMAIL... THE INTERNET... SEARCH ENGINES...

Volguus posted:

Web development in 2020:

https://i.imgur.com/gHqkycX.mp4

(This is from a live TV sports website, not some local development gone wrong)

Genuinely hope this is to make the favicon animate in the tab while the user is on the site, so that it shows some sort of hideously pixelated live action because marketing knew about a place that wasn't already getting poo poo up.

# ? Aug 7, 2020 20:07

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# ? Jun 6, 2024 00:52

Tei: Feb 19, 2011; Can't post for 4 days!

Volmarias posted:

Genuinely hope this is to make the favicon animate in the tab while the user is on the site, so that it shows some sort of hideously pixelated live action because marketing knew about a place that wasn't already getting poo poo up.

I wonder if the browser would obey to a refresh header in the favicon

Content-type: image/png
Refresh: 0,url=favicon.png
Cache-control: no-cache

# ? Aug 7, 2020 21:46

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > The Cavern of COBOL > Coding Horrors: You can gather all your technical debt into one easy framework!

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