OSHA IV: NO SAFETY - SMOKING FIRST - The Something Awful Forums

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > OSHA IV: NO SAFETY - SMOKING FIRST

Memento: Aug 25, 2009; Bleak Gremlin

In that same spirit

EMERGENCY EXIT
In case of fire, break the glass, take a shard and cut your wrists because the key is gone and it's better than burning alive

# ? Jul 28, 2020 12:06

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# ? Jun 4, 2024 06:47

Platystemon: Feb 13, 2012; BREADS

adhuin posted:

This is clearly in reverse.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pdEqnrlvFcQ

# ? Jul 28, 2020 12:39

Pacra: Aug 5, 2004

Cartoon Man posted:

petition to rename motorcycles "OSHAmobiles"

# ? Jul 28, 2020 14:08

Kibayasu: Mar 28, 2010

Memento posted:

In that same spirit

EMERGENCY EXIT
In case of fire, break the glass, take a shard and cut your wrists because the key is gone and it's better than burning alive

That�s terrible advice.

Just breathe in the smoke, it�ll kill you long before the fire.

# ? Jul 28, 2020 14:57

Cyrano4747: Sep 25, 2006; Yes, I know I'm old, get off my fucking lawn so I can yell at these clouds.

Kibayasu posted:

That�s terrible advice.

Just breathe in the smoke, it�ll kill you long before the fire.

Smoke inhalation is still a really nasty way to go. Breathing unfiltered smoke from even a wood fire sucks, much less a structure fire.

I'd much, much rather slit my wrists than go out via smoke inhalation.

# ? Jul 28, 2020 15:08

Robert Facepalmer: Jan 10, 2019

Sagebrush posted:

i mean it is possible that the ground is only like 10 feet below and only the perspective makes it look like they're a million miles in the air

I would guess they are probably a pretty decent distance up to account for snow pack during the winter. Unless that is some kinda fancy-pants system that adjusts tower height, but I doubt that.

# ? Jul 28, 2020 15:54

Moo the cow: Apr 30, 2020

Kibayasu posted:

Just breathe in the smoke, it�ll kill you long before the fire.

That's Russian, so the people reading it have probably been smoking unfiltered tobacco since birth and could safely inhale mere industrial fire smoke without even coughing.

# ? Jul 28, 2020 15:56

tactlessbastard: Feb 4, 2001; Godspeed, post; Fun Shoe

OSHA.txt:

An employee approached a stainless steel table that was normally used to stage glass bottles before loading them on a conveyor. The bottles are slid off the table and onto a conveyor.

On the day of the incident, plastic bottles were being used and the sliding had generated a substantial static charge.

As the employee leaned forward, the zipper on his shorts contacted the table. The employee also was 'going commando' and the static shock through his zipper was transmitted directly into his metal penis piercing.

Corrective Action: grounding strap attached to table.

# ? Jul 28, 2020 16:16

LifeSunDeath: Jan 4, 2007; still gay rights and smoke weed every day

tactlessbastard posted:

OSHA.txt:

An employee approached a stainless steel table that was normally used to stage glass bottles before loading them on a conveyor. The bottles are slid off the table and onto a conveyor.

On the day of the incident, plastic bottles were being used and the sliding had generated a substantial static charge.

As the employee leaned forward, the zipper on his shorts contacted the table. The employee also was 'going commando' and the static shock through his zipper was transmitted directly into his metal penis piercing.

Corrective Action: grounding strap attached to table.

So they did have prince Albert in a can...shocking.

# ? Jul 28, 2020 16:17

Krispy Wafer: Jul 26, 2002; I shouted out "Free the exposed 67"
But they stood on my hair and told me I was fat; Grimey Drawer

tactlessbastard posted:

OSHA.txt:

An employee approached a stainless steel table that was normally used to stage glass bottles before loading them on a conveyor. The bottles are slid off the table and onto a conveyor.

On the day of the incident, plastic bottles were being used and the sliding had generated a substantial static charge.

As the employee leaned forward, the zipper on his shorts contacted the table. The employee also was 'going commando' and the static shock through his zipper was transmitted directly into his metal penis piercing.

Corrective Action: grounding strap attached to table.

So everything worked as intended?

Ooooooo...tingles.

# ? Jul 28, 2020 16:37

Sex Skeleton: Aug 16, 2018; For when lonely nights turn bonely

You'd have to get shocked in the balls pretty hard to make it a reportable injury.

# ? Jul 28, 2020 16:52

Edmund Sparkler: Jul 4, 2003; For twelve years, you have been asking: Who is John Galt? This is John Galt speaking. I am the man who loves his life. I am the man who does not sacrifice his love or his values. I am the man who has deprived you of victims and thus has destroyed your world, and if you wish to know why you are peris

Platystemon posted:

Normally they have wheels.

I've picked many a strawberry the old fashioned way and that looks uncomfortable as gently caress.

# ? Jul 28, 2020 16:55

Uthor: Jul 9, 2006; Gummy Bear Heaven ... It's where I go when the world is too mean.

tactlessbastard posted:

OSHA.txt:

An employee approached a stainless steel table that was normally used to stage glass bottles before loading them on a conveyor. The bottles are slid off the table and onto a conveyor.

On the day of the incident, plastic bottles were being used and the sliding had generated a substantial static charge.

As the employee leaned forward, the zipper on his shorts contacted the table. The employee also was 'going commando' and the static shock through his zipper was transmitted directly into his metal penis piercing.

Corrective Action: grounding strap attached to table.

I half expected this to end with a grounding strap attached to piercing.

# ? Jul 28, 2020 16:57

Cojawfee: May 31, 2006; I think the US is dumb for not using Celsius

dr_rat posted:

^That second video looks like it should be in reverse with how cleanly that earth is just coming back togther^

It comes back together because of those two wheels at the back

# ? Jul 28, 2020 17:09

Cartoon Man: Jan 31, 2004

https://i.imgur.com/g866llz.gifv

# ? Jul 28, 2020 17:45

tactlessbastard: Feb 4, 2001; Godspeed, post; Fun Shoe

Uthor posted:

I half expected this to end with a grounding strap attached to piercing.

If the incident repeats, more robust corrective actions will be taken.

# ? Jul 28, 2020 18:02

LifeSunDeath: Jan 4, 2007; still gay rights and smoke weed every day

Cartoon Man posted:

https://i.imgur.com/g866llz.gifv

well they're all dead

# ? Jul 28, 2020 18:27

McGavin: Sep 18, 2012

LifeSunDeath posted:

well they're all dead

The REAL MAN clearly survived to pass his genes on to the next generation.

# ? Jul 28, 2020 18:35

Musluk: May 23, 2011

https://i.imgur.com/LJJz0lI.mp4

# ? Jul 28, 2020 18:59

LifeSunDeath: Jan 4, 2007; still gay rights and smoke weed every day

Musluk posted:

https://i.imgur.com/LJJz0lI.mp4

YEET, but also, holy poo poo.

# ? Jul 28, 2020 19:00

mds2: Apr 8, 2004; Australia: 131114
Canada: 18662773553
Germany: 08001810771
India: 8888817666
Japan: 810352869090
Russia: 0078202577577
UK: 08457909090
US: 1-800-273-8255

Musluk posted:

https://i.imgur.com/LJJz0lI.mp4

Lame special affects. I can totally see the wire.

# ? Jul 28, 2020 19:01

Son of Thunderbeast: Sep 21, 2002

Musluk posted:

https://i.imgur.com/LJJz0lI.mp4

at the sheer number of coincidences that had to line up to launch that man at that woman

e: if that one scooter had been even a quarter second slower it might've gotten launched too

Son of Thunderbeast fucked around with this message at 19:11 on Jul 28, 2020

# ? Jul 28, 2020 19:07

Lurking Haro: Oct 27, 2009

Sex Skeleton posted:

You'd have to get shocked in the balls pretty hard to make it a reportable injury.

His claim of getting zapped from 6 inches away was interpreted as extremely high voltage.

# ? Jul 28, 2020 19:28

Cartoon Man: Jan 31, 2004

https://i.imgur.com/BX02JOG.gifv

# ? Jul 28, 2020 20:07

LifeSunDeath: Jan 4, 2007; still gay rights and smoke weed every day

Cartoon Man posted:

https://i.imgur.com/BX02JOG.gifv

Radical!

# ? Jul 28, 2020 20:09

Fur20: Nov 14, 2007; すご▞い！
君は働か░い
フ▙▓ズなんだね！

Cartoon Man posted:

https://i.imgur.com/BX02JOG.gifv

did the guy jumping onto the lift send a shockwave down the entire apparatus

# ? Jul 28, 2020 20:28

Cartoon Man: Jan 31, 2004

https://i.imgur.com/b8SS34t.mp4

# ? Jul 28, 2020 20:55

Maxwells Demon: Jan 15, 2007

Cartoon Man posted:

https://i.imgur.com/vQnPdpq.mp4

The time between that motorcycle being a normal, fully operating vehicle and a pile of parts with a 4 foot fire coming out of it is shockingly short.

# ? Jul 28, 2020 21:35

Sagebrush: Feb 26, 2012

It is astonishing how quickly it catches fire. Like the instant the gas tank hits the ground, fwoom

# ? Jul 28, 2020 21:37

Varkk: Apr 17, 2004

Lurking Haro posted:

His claim of getting zapped from 6 inches away was interpreted as extremely high voltage.

Dude was trying to gently caress the table wasn�t he?

# ? Jul 28, 2020 21:48

Germansimp: May 28, 2013

Cartoon Man posted:

https://i.imgur.com/BX02JOG.gifv

New GTA DLC Grand Theft Ski-lift looking good.

# ? Jul 28, 2020 22:31

JamesieAB: Nov 5, 2005

tactlessbastard posted:

OSHA.txt:

An employee approached a stainless steel table that was normally used to stage glass bottles before loading them on a conveyor. The bottles are slid off the table and onto a conveyor.

On the day of the incident, plastic bottles were being used and the sliding had generated a substantial static charge.

As the employee leaned forward, the zipper on his shorts contacted the table. The employee also was 'going commando' and the static shock through his zipper was transmitted directly into his metal penis piercing.

Corrective Action: grounding strap attached to table.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R-FxmoVM7X4&t=44s

# ? Jul 28, 2020 22:57

Punkinhead: Apr 2, 2015

Apparently the pallets were being hoisted by a crane when they somehow fell

# ? Jul 28, 2020 23:09

LifeSunDeath: Jan 4, 2007; still gay rights and smoke weed every day

PinheadSlim posted:

Apparently the pallets were being hoisted by a crane when they somehow fell

# ? Jul 28, 2020 23:30

poly and open-minded: Nov 22, 2006; In BOD we trust

Cartoon Man posted:

https://i.imgur.com/g866llz.gifv

My guess was off by 1

# ? Jul 29, 2020 00:11

Memento: Aug 25, 2009; Bleak Gremlin

Varkk posted:

Dude was trying to gently caress the table wasn�t he?

buddy, they won't even let me gently caress it

# ? Jul 29, 2020 00:24

Zero One: Dec 30, 2004; HAIL TO THE VICTORS!

tactlessbastard posted:

OSHA.txt:

An employee approached a stainless steel table that was normally used to stage glass bottles before loading them on a conveyor. The bottles are slid off the table and onto a conveyor.

On the day of the incident, plastic bottles were being used and the sliding had generated a substantial static charge.

As the employee leaned forward, the zipper on his shorts contacted the table. The employee also was 'going commando' and the static shock through his zipper was transmitted directly into his metal penis piercing.

Corrective Action: grounding strap attached to table.

Varkk posted:

Dude was trying to gently caress the table wasn�t he?

Artist's conception of the incident:

Also, the Nautilus was very OSHA. Electric shock system on your iron submarine? You're going to be drowning in fines, Nemo.

# ? Jul 29, 2020 00:39

Memento: Aug 25, 2009; Bleak Gremlin

https://i.imgur.com/sC07MI1.mp4

Safety glasses? Steelcaps? Never heard of them.

# ? Jul 29, 2020 00:43

A Festivus Miracle: Dec 19, 2012; I have come to discourse on the profound inequities of the American political system.

Memento posted:

https://i.imgur.com/sC07MI1.mp4

Safety glasses? Steelcaps? Never heard of them.

I've done this before, except with safety glasses, a hard hat, gloves, and steelies. It's also infinitely harder if you don't have feathers (little iron rods you pound the chisel between to help expand the pocket). Looking at the indents, dude literally chiseled his way into the rock before he started smacking with the double jack, so this whole adventure must have taken him hours of smacking little metal rods.

It's kind of neat because you can actually hear the rock expanding before it finally snaps. It's also dangerous because it turns out that frail human arms ain't gonna do poo poo to stop a giant boulder rolling over on you.

# ? Jul 29, 2020 01:12

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# ? Jun 4, 2024 06:47

Green Intern: Dec 29, 2008; Loon, Crazy and Laughable

The White Dragon posted:

did the guy jumping onto the lift send a shockwave down the entire apparatus

If you've never been on a ski lift, I can confirm for you that even a moderate push to one seat will make the seats down the line sway or bounce as it travels along.

# ? Jul 29, 2020 02:15

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