Navy Thread: SUBJ/TRANSMISSION OF STEAMY BITS//

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tacopie: Apr 29, 2009

Is that like Approach but for waterboys?

# ? Jul 28, 2020 22:50

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# ? May 14, 2024 04:08

ManMythLegend: Aug 18, 2003; I don't believe in anything, I'm just here for the violence.

FrozenVent posted:

What issue was your article in?

I've been told that I should write articles for Proceedings. My response was, "why would I do all of that work to just be ignored some more?"

# ? Jul 29, 2020 03:20

Wingnut Ninja: Jan 11, 2003; Mostly Harmless

ManMythLegend posted:

"why would I do all of that work to just be ignored some more?"

Coincidentally the title of my latest fitrep.

# ? Jul 29, 2020 03:42

BIG HEADLINE: Jun 13, 2006; "Stand back, Ottawan ruffian, or face my lumens!"

Awww, c'mon, MML - there's a very good chance that some Admiral could cursorily glance at your article while he's taking a dump in a bathroom somewhere he can't use his cell phone.

# ? Jul 29, 2020 04:11

piL: Sep 20, 2007; (__|\\\\); Taco Defender

I think working hard to be ignored is is a successful first tour divo run.

Who's dink? dontbemedontbeme.

Who's on watch? Oh ENS X? Eh, I won't go up there.

# ? Jul 29, 2020 05:53

FrozenVent: May 1, 2009; The Boeing 737-200QC is the undisputed workhorse of the skies.

ManMythLegend posted:

I've been told that I should write articles for Proceedings. My response was, "why would I do all of that work to just be ignored some more?"

Getting myself invited to conferences where I just clown on consultants makes my bosses so proud of me. Highly recommends.

# ? Jul 29, 2020 14:28

Wingnut Ninja: Jan 11, 2003; Mostly Harmless

Speaking of writing articles, thank goodness for USNI providing us the overly grandiose insights of LTJG's.

Hazardous Merchandise

quote:

Life at sea; some have dedicated, in every sense, their life to the sea-going profession. Others donate a few nonrefundable years of youth toward the notion. What is the tradeoff? The surface warfare tradition��Puffy white clouds of a mid-Pacific sunrise . . . fantail cookouts . . . night orders . . . midwatches . . . skunks . . . lookouts . . . �You are approaching a United States naval warship.� . . . �Moored. Shift Colors.�� High highs contradicted by low lows; a reality that you will depart in worse shape than you arrive. Despite the modern habit of buzz words, the contemporary surface navy culture is not progressing as we would hope, or continue to talk about. In fact, these steady-strained-approaches preached at every level are tainted by hypocrisy. It starts with what we are consuming. Among others, the proof is most literally in the pudding.

From NAVSUP P-487, �The existence of hazardous merchandise must immediately be reported to NEXCOM (Ships Store Program).� It is possible we have missed the Surgeon General�s warning on our ship�s store product labels. Alas, please consider this my report�paired on the shelf, next to the for-purchase daily dose of carbon monoxide, rests products mixed with additives, guarana, taurine, and L-carnitine. If the nutrition label was not a legitimate enough warning, perhaps we can defer to the Center for Disease Control and Prevention, which is well-published regarding the dangers of overloading on junk food, tobacco, and energy drinks. A comprehensive list of the side effects can be discovered with a quick internet search. An alternative is to spend the day at sea on any USS, where you can observe dehydration, depression, anxiety, insomnia, respiratory distress, obesity, tooth decay, etc. firsthand. What is the Navy doing to change it? The solution was an annual PowerPoint GMT at which you fell asleep; suggesting meager alternatives to the plethora of junk food amass on afloat and ashore installations. As a Navy, we continually accept the negative impacts of lax physical performance against military readiness, and it compounds with every geedunk-run. We accept the distinction as the U.S. military�s most obese branch. We condone the culture and we row progressively away from lethality. By continuing this trend, we become negligible in our duties to this country. This begins at the molecular level, proven with most product offerings on Navy installations�shame on the service for fueling the force in such a manner.

In 1942, Rear Admiral Jonas Ingram penned an article for Proceedings, in which he said, �A football team has a medical officer to care for the general health of the players and to repair injuries, but it is the coach and trainer who condition the men with the fighting edge and physical fitness so necessary for the grind of a championship game. In a similar manner the responsibility for the physical fitness of all naval personnel must rest in the chain of command.� The Navy largely is not fit to fight. Sailors are not physically prepared for the grind of the championship game. The fighting edge has been rounded out. I cannot get my shipmate up through three scuttles, four decks down. Their dead weight is too heavy and fire is engulfing the spaces rapidly.

Solutions and alternatives? Stop putting junk in front of the sea-going force, plain and simple. Back a culture shift demanding consumables and a physical standard commensurate to the demands of sustained combat at sea. Kick fast-food formations off of Navy bases. Nothing purchased in these establishments sniffs principles of any naval ethos. Stock ship�s stores with organic coffees, protein shakes, sparkling water, fresh juices, green teas, nicotine gum, fruit chips, veggie chips, dried fruit products, trail mixes, etc. Cease and desist. All back emergency. Pair any phrase you want with it, maybe with a pear for good measure. These are not high-brow solutions; these are common sense solutions, backed by proven scientific concepts. Invest in the force; good in, good out. �In the era of great power competition . . . � Stop. Refill these iron ships with iron sailors. We can remove the tongue from our cheek; we just have to spit the tobacco, concentrated sugar, and energy drinks out to do it.

I don't even disagree with the general thesis, but goddamn :lol:

does he ever have a huge chip on his shoulder about dip and workout supplements. I'd put more focus on the fact that it's entirely possible to show up to a galley line with nothing but yellow and red tags, except for one tray of broccoli that says "drink plenty of this to stay healthy".

# ? Jul 30, 2020 23:27

King of Bees: Dec 28, 2012; Gravy Boat 2k

Wingnut Ninja posted:

Speaking of writing articles, thank goodness for USNI providing us the overly grandiose insights of LTJG's.

Hazardous Merchandise

I don't even disagree with the general thesis, but goddamn does he ever have a huge chip on his shoulder about dip and workout supplements. I'd put more focus on the fact that it's entirely possible to show up to a galley line with nothing but yellow and red tags, except for one tray of broccoli that says "drink plenty of this to stay healthy".

Lmao, wars are won with coffee and cigarettes and exhaustion hippy!

# ? Jul 31, 2020 00:17

Nick Soapdish: Apr 27, 2008

Wingnut Ninja posted:

I don't even disagree with the general thesis, but goddamn does he ever have a huge chip on his shoulder about dip and workout supplements. I'd put more focus on the fact that it's entirely possible to show up to a galley line with nothing but yellow and red tags, except for one tray of broccoli that says "drink plenty of this to stay healthy".

I ate healthier and lost more weight from DFAC Kabul food then galley food during deployment. Chicken breast and large salad everyday for lunch was good for me.

# ? Jul 31, 2020 01:12

bengy81: May 8, 2010

Dip, Monsters, and Vienna sausages were about the only edible things on the ship if you worked mids on either deployment I was on. Maybe Pneumonic can fact check me, but I'm pretty sure the CS's just had a crank put whatever garbage they wanted out for midrats, and that's all you got until morning. I remember lots of over cooked hot dogs, stale bread and peanut butter, milk that was warmer than the cereal you were putting it on... and I think I blocked out the rest. It was awful, I feel like the galley actively worked against us most of the time.

# ? Jul 31, 2020 01:26

orange juche: Mar 14, 2012

bengy81 posted:

Dip, Monsters, and Vienna sausages were about the only edible things on the ship if you worked mids on either deployment I was on. Maybe Pneumonic can fact check me, but I'm pretty sure the CS's just had a crank put whatever garbage they wanted out for midrats, and that's all you got until morning. I remember lots of over cooked hot dogs, stale bread and peanut butter, milk that was warmer than the cereal you were putting it on... and I think I blocked out the rest. It was awful, I feel like the galley actively worked against us most of the time.

Dip, Monsters, and Vienna Sausages definitely check out for "edible" on midrats. I also remember the nonperishable milk. I told my folks to send me cans of the loving things in any care packages, and they were like "I can't believe you eat those things". The reason is they were the only poo poo to eat.

# ? Jul 31, 2020 01:39

Butter Activities: May 4, 2018

Lol when I was a deck Seaman my LPO threw a fit because I went to go eat breakfast after watch (assuming there was food saves for us, they forgot most of the time) rather than skip a meal to do sweepers.

I told them if they were going to make me pay for it I was going to eat it and they got the 3MC to bitch at me for skipping sweepers.

After awhile they just gave up.

# ? Jul 31, 2020 02:18

FrozenVent: May 1, 2009; The Boeing 737-200QC is the undisputed workhorse of the skies.

The best and healthiest ship�s food I�ve had wasn�t on a cruise ship, it was on a coast guard ship.

...a Canadian coast guard ship.

...y�all need to unionize.

# ? Jul 31, 2020 02:57

DustyNuts: Jun 1, 2000; Have you seen me?

Who needs the galley?? Just eat Starkist tuna packets with crackers until you lose your mind to mercury poisoning

# ? Jul 31, 2020 03:07

PneumonicBook: Sep 26, 2007; Do you like our owl?; Ultra Carp

bengy81 posted:

Dip, Monsters, and Vienna sausages were about the only edible things on the ship if you worked mids on either deployment I was on. Maybe Pneumonic can fact check me, but I'm pretty sure the CS's just had a crank put whatever garbage they wanted out for midrats, and that's all you got until morning. I remember lots of over cooked hot dogs, stale bread and peanut butter, milk that was warmer than the cereal you were putting it on... and I think I blocked out the rest. It was awful, I feel like the galley actively worked against us most of the time.

All of this is true.

loving Vienna sausages.

# ? Jul 31, 2020 03:10

Proust Malone: Apr 4, 2008

After graduating from food stamps I was just grateful to have three meals a day

# ? Jul 31, 2020 03:28

vulturesrow: Sep 25, 2011; _{Always gotta pay it forward.}

Yo for my fellow carrier bros instant ramen was also a legit midrats purchase from the 7-11.

# ? Jul 31, 2020 04:38

orange juche: Mar 14, 2012

vulturesrow posted:

Yo for my fellow carrier bros instant ramen was also a legit midrats purchase from the 7-11.

We didn't have instant ramen in the ship store lol

# ? Jul 31, 2020 04:44

Vincent Van Goatse: Nov 8, 2006; Enjoy every sandwich.; Smellrose

Wingnut Ninja posted:

Speaking of writing articles, thank goodness for USNI providing us the overly grandiose insights of LTJG's.

Hazardous Merchandise

I don't even disagree with the general thesis, but goddamn does he ever have a huge chip on his shoulder about dip and workout supplements. I'd put more focus on the fact that it's entirely possible to show up to a galley line with nothing but yellow and red tags, except for one tray of broccoli that says "drink plenty of this to stay healthy".

I think I've told this story before but I used to be a volunteer at the USS Midway Museum, and while we were pulling up ancient linoleum in the CIC during restoration we found what must've been a fifty year-old lid from a can of Copenhagen underneath one section.

Vincent Van Goatse fucked around with this message at 05:05 on Jul 31, 2020

# ? Jul 31, 2020 04:47

piL: Sep 20, 2007; (__|\\\\); Taco Defender

Vincent Van Goatse posted:

I think I've told this story before but I used to be a volunteer at the USS Midway Museum, and while we were pulling up ancient linoleum in the CIC during restoration and found what must've been a fifty year-old lid from a can of Copenhagen underneath one section.

Joe... Joe never changes.

# ? Jul 31, 2020 04:59

PneumonicBook: Sep 26, 2007; Do you like our owl?; Ultra Carp

Vincent Van Goatse posted:

I think I've told this story before but I used to be a volunteer at the USS Midway Museum, and while we were pulling up ancient linoleum in the CIC during restoration we found what must've been a fifty year-old lid from a can of Copenhagen underneath one section.

EXCUSE ME ITS A TIN NOT A CAN GODDAMMIT

# ? Jul 31, 2020 07:24

Crab Dad: Dec 28, 2002; behold i have tempered and refined thee, but not as silver; as CRAB

I'm just gonna sit over here and twiddle my thumbs while I eat my prime rib steak cooked MR and my bowl of scratch made chicken noodle soup.

# ? Jul 31, 2020 09:07

SquirrelyPSU: May 27, 2003

bengy81 posted:

Dip, Monsters, and Vienna sausages were about the only edible things on the ship if you worked mids on either deployment I was on. Maybe Pneumonic can fact check me, but I'm pretty sure the CS's just had a crank put whatever garbage they wanted out for midrats, and that's all you got until morning. I remember lots of over cooked hot dogs, stale bread and peanut butter, milk that was warmer than the cereal you were putting it on... and I think I blocked out the rest. It was awful, I feel like the galley actively worked against us most of the time.

Seconded. Hard boiled eggs and whatever fruits and vegetables I could scavenge.

# ? Jul 31, 2020 10:50

piL: Sep 20, 2007; (__|\\\\); Taco Defender

SquirrelyPSU posted:

Seconded. Hard boiled eggs and whatever fruits and vegetables I could scavenge.

One time, I came into thenwardroom super excited. The duty CS, with a reputation for being kind of lazy and just , had put together a substantial (for him) spread of filipino food. The one officer in the wardrobe had a tray with warmed up leftover pizza and an unsatisfied disposition. Why couldn't the CS cook normal food? they eventually intimated. It made me sad because I think the CS did a lot more work than they had to, but no matter how much work you do, you have to make choices and when you do, you will never be able to please everyone.

It wasn't that Sailor's fault for not liking it, but I imagine its hard to stay motivated as a CS under even the best of conditions where you're pretty free to do what you want.

# ? Jul 31, 2020 15:02

Madurai: Jun 26, 2012

orange juche posted:

Dip, Monsters, and Vienna Sausages definitely check out for "edible" on midrats. I also remember the nonperishable milk. I told my folks to send me cans of the loving things in any care packages, and they were like "I can't believe you eat those things". The reason is they were the only poo poo to eat.

We were in mid-deployment in 1989 when the switch was made from powdered milk to UHT milk, and it was like a loving holiday.

# ? Jul 31, 2020 16:16

orange juche: Mar 14, 2012

Madurai posted:

We were in mid-deployment in 1989 when the switch was made from powdered milk to UHT milk, and it was like a loving holiday.

90f UHT milk is a special kind of awful tbh.

# ? Jul 31, 2020 17:39

Madurai: Jun 26, 2012

orange juche posted:

90f UHT milk is a special kind of awful tbh.

I do not doubt you.

# ? Jul 31, 2020 20:12

BIG HEADLINE: Jun 13, 2006; "Stand back, Ottawan ruffian, or face my lumens!"

Groomin' standerdz!

https://www.military.com/daily-news/2020/07/28/sailor-gets-ok-grow-4-inch-beard-pushes-navy-grant-career-length-waiver.html

Won't someone ~please~ think of the lost razor and shaving cream revenue? :ohdear:

# ? Aug 1, 2020 04:29

Nick Soapdish: Apr 27, 2008

While packing up for our out-of-state move, I found an old poster I'd held onto (but never bothered to frame) of the US Navy Ships and Submarines circa early 2000s. The highlight was seeing the number of Spruance DDs

# ? Aug 1, 2020 04:34

AlternateNu: May 5, 2005; ドーナツダメ！

Nick Soapdish posted:

While packing up for our out-of-state move, I found an old poster I'd held onto (but never bothered to frame) of the US Navy Ships and Submarines circa early 2000s. The highlight was seeing the number of Spruance DDs

When I was in NJROTC, we did a week and a half ride-along on a Spru-can (the BRISCOE). It was only supposed to be 5 days. But then, JFK Jr. died, and the ship got tagged to do the burial-at-sea. :v:

We weren't allowed topside during the ceremony since we didn't have our dress uniforms which included our CDR(ret.) instructor because he only brought his khakis with him.

# ? Aug 1, 2020 05:45

US Berder Patrol: Jul 11, 2006; oorah

AlternateNu posted:

We weren't allowed topside during the ceremony since we didn't have our dress uniforms which included our CDR(ret.) instructor because he only brought his khakis with him.

well you heard all the bells and whistles at least

# ? Aug 1, 2020 05:46

AlternateNu: May 5, 2005; ドーナツダメ！

US Berder Patrol posted:

well you heard all the bells and whistles at least

The weird part was watching the whole thing on the mess decks through CNN's telephoto lens.

# ? Aug 1, 2020 05:48

Pryor on Fire: May 14, 2013; they don't know all alien abduction experiences can be explained by people thinking saving private ryan was a documentary

lol the navy was summoned to scatter the ashes of some nobody millionaire off the coast of martha's vineyard? hahaha that is so loving funny.

The 90s were so crazy, I just can't believe how loving stupid we all were.

# ? Aug 1, 2020 18:38

piL: Sep 20, 2007; (__|\\\\); Taco Defender

Pryor on Fire posted:

lol the navy was summoned to scatter the ashes of some nobody millionaire off the coast of martha's vineyard? hahaha that is so loving funny.

The 90s were so crazy, I just can't believe how loving stupid we all were.

Worried that if you bury him, some future generation might get the curse famed Egyptologist Dr. P J Kennedy contracted in Cairo in 1905.

Also, the US Navy buries veterans and their dependents at sea, when requested.

# ? Aug 1, 2020 19:19

Nick Soapdish: Apr 27, 2008

piL posted:

Also, the US Navy buries veterans and their dependents at sea, when requested.

Scatter my ashes into the boiling oceans

# ? Aug 1, 2020 19:24

Madurai: Jun 26, 2012

We got pitch-ashes-overboard duty in the 80s, too. Then again, we got cover-for-the-Coast-Guard-because-it's-the-end-of-the-fiscal-quarter-and-there's-no-fuel-budget duty, too, which was just a thing that happened to CGNs.

# ? Aug 1, 2020 20:56

Vincent Van Goatse: Nov 8, 2006; Enjoy every sandwich.; Smellrose

Suddenly I want my remains to be chucked haphazardly over the fantail by disinterested enlisted waiting patiently to be able to go back and masturbate or whatever else there is to do that isn't painting ship.

# ? Aug 1, 2020 21:16

piL: Sep 20, 2007; (__|\\\\); Taco Defender

Vincent Van Goatse posted:

Suddenly I want my remains to be chucked haphazardly over the fantail by disinterested enlisted waiting patiently to be able to go back and masturbate or whatever else there is to do that isn't painting ship.

From ashes to ashes, from wake to wake.

# ? Aug 1, 2020 21:35

Nick Soapdish: Apr 27, 2008

https://twitter.com/NavalInstitute/status/1289720267917459456?s=19

It really is

# ? Aug 2, 2020 01:38

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# ? May 14, 2024 04:08

PneumonicBook: Sep 26, 2007; Do you like our owl?; Ultra Carp

Vincent Van Goatse posted:

Suddenly I want my remains to be chucked haphazardly over the fantail by disinterested enlisted waiting patiently to be able to go back and masturbate or whatever else there is to do that isn't painting ship.

Shame this is too long for the thread title

# ? Aug 2, 2020 01:46

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Internet VFW > Navy Thread: SUBJ/TRANSMISSION OF STEAMY BITS//

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