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PetraCore
Jul 20, 2017

👁️🔥👁️👁️👁️BE NOT👄AFRAID👁️👁️👁️🔥👁️

That actually makes me really excited for the Let's Read to hit Midnight Sun, both for glorious stupidity and interesting characterization. I've said it before and I'll say it again, Meyer has the potential to be a really interesting and creative writer, but a lot of what's holding her back is her own bigotries, imo.

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chitoryu12
Apr 24, 2014

Oh, Meyer's new fame and clout lets her actually reference music and other pop culture directly that she only hinted at previously. So the album Phil got her that she blasts in her ears at max volume to distract her from vampires being real, which Edward reveals he also has, is canonically Hybrid Theory. And this is her favorite song on the album:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M8UTS2iFXOo

chitoryu12
Apr 24, 2014

Cythereal
Nov 8, 2009

I love the potoo,
and the potoo loves you.

The creepy immortal incel being a two pump chump somehow does not surprise me.

Up Circle
Apr 3, 2008

chitoryu12 posted:

Oh, Meyer's new fame and clout lets her actually reference music and other pop culture directly that she only hinted at previously. So the album Phil got her that she blasts in her ears at max volume to distract her from vampires being real, which Edward reveals he also has, is canonically Hybrid Theory. And this is her favorite song on the album:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M8UTS2iFXOo

retroactively makes the whole series awesome

chitoryu12
Apr 24, 2014

Up Circle posted:

retroactively makes the whole series awesome

I’m very excited to do this book next to see everyone’s reactions.

Lysistrata
Sep 12, 2003
Anyone who truly believes he has friends is a fool.
Im definitely excited to see it, especially since it seems Meyer has given it a lot more thought and polishing this time.

chitoryu12
Apr 24, 2014

Chapter 35: Deadline

quote:

“Headed out?" Edward asked, his tone nonchalant. There was a sort of forced composure about his expression. He hugged Renesmee just a little bit tighter to his chest.

“Yes, a few last-minute things…,” I responded just as casually.

He smiled my favorite smile. “Hurry back to me.”

“Always.”

This is completely out of character for Edward. This is a guy who's notorious for stalking his wife, following her every move and physically manhandling her if she ever tries to leave his sight. And now because it would ruin Meyer's setup, she has him suddenly submit to playing with his daughter and letting her roam around wherever she wants in a time of crisis.

quote:

I took his Volvo again, wondering if he’d read the odometer after my last errand. How much had he pieced together? That I had a secret, absolutely. Would he have deduced the reason why I didn’t confide in him? Did he guess that Aro might soon know everything he knew? I thought Edward could have come to that conclusion, which explained why he had demanded no reasons from me. I guessed he was trying not to speculate too much, trying to keep my behavior off his mind. Had he put this together with my odd performance the morning after Alice left, burning my book in the fire? I didn’t know if he could have made that leap.

"These vampires are dumb as poo poo."

quote:

It was a dreary afternoon, already dark as dusk. I sped through the gloom, my eyes on the heavy clouds. Would it snow tonight? Enough to layer the ground and create the scene from Alice’s vision? Edward estimated that we had about two more days. Then we would set ourselves in the clearing, drawing the Volturi to our chosen place.

Check the Weather Channel?

quote:

As I headed through the darkening forest, I considered my last trip to Seattle. I thought I knew Alice’s purpose in sending me to the dilapidated drop point where J. Jenks referred his shadier clients. If I’d gone to one of his other, more legitimate offices, would I have ever known what to ask for? If I’d met him as Jason Jenks or Jason Scott, legitimate lawyer, would I ever have unearthed J. Jenks, purveyor of illegal documents? I’d had to go the route that made it clear I was up to no good. That was my clue.

So you had to be sent to see a black pimp to let you know that you were engaging in crime?

Meyer clearly has no idea how white collar crime works. This guy is working with major players in the underworld. He's a wealthy lawyer somehow operating under two different identities in the same city. This is a guy who will give you your papers in his office, under strict security. He's not going to run off to a slum and hand poo poo off in an alley as if that'll somehow be less suspicious.

quote:

It was black when I pulled into the parking lot of the restaurant a few minutes early, ignoring the eager valets by the entrance. I popped in my contacts and then went to wait for J inside the restaurant. Though I was in a hurry to be done with this depressing necessity and back with my family, J seemed careful to keep himself untainted by his baser associations; I had a feeling a handoff in the dark parking lot would offend his sensibilities.

You literally just said that he refers his shady clients to a ghetto stoop straight out of a blaxploitation movie! This book can't even keep poo poo straight between paragraphs!

quote:

I gave the name Jenks at the podium, and the obsequious maître d’ led me upstairs to a small private room with a fire crackling in a stone hearth. He took the calf-length ivory trench coat I’d worn to disguise the fact that I was wearing Alice’s idea of appropriate attire, and gasped quietly at my oyster satin cocktail dress. I couldn’t help being a little flattered; I still wasn’t used to being beautiful to everyone rather than just Edward. The maître d’ stuttered half-formed compliments as he backed unsteadily from the room.

You have spent the entire loving series having everyone falling over themselves to describe how beautiful and desirable you are! The Illustrated Guide even shows Bella's appearance before and after he transformation, and it's really apparent that she was never meant to be "plain."



Also, what kind of superpower do the vampires have to get this reaction? A restaurant with a private dining room with a fireplace is going to be a ridiculously expensive, high-end place. They see hot rich people every single day!

quote:

I stood by the fire to wait, holding my fingers close to the flame to warm them a little before the inevitable handshake. Not that J wasn’t obviously aware that there was something up with the Cullens, but it was still a good habit to practice.

For one half second, I wondered what it would feel like to put my hand in the fire. What it would feel like when I burned.…

Be a lot better book if you tried that.

quote:

J’s entrance distracted my morbidity. The maître d’ took his coat, too, and it was evident that I was not the only one who had dressed up for this meeting.

Were you expecting him to come to this place in loving cargo shorts? I've been to a lot of restaurants like this and they usually have a dress code!

quote:

“I’m so sorry I’m late,” J said as soon as we were alone.

“No, you’re exactly on time.”

He held out his hand, and as we shook I could feel that his fingers were still quite noticeably warmer than mine. It didn’t seem to bother him.

“You look stunning, if I may be so bold, Mrs. Cullen.”

“Thank you, J. Please, call me Bella.”

“I must say, it’s a different experience working with you than it is with Mr. Jasper. Much less… unsettling.” He smiled hesitantly.

“Really? I’ve always found Jasper to have a very soothing presence.”

His eyebrows pulled together. “Is that so?” he murmured politely while clearly still in disagreement. How odd. What had Jasper done to this man?

Jasper just using his emotion powers to make this guy terrified in every meeting.

quote:

“Have you known Jasper long?”

He sighed, looking uncomfortable. “I’ve been working with Mr. Jasper for more than twenty years, and my old partner knew him for fifteen years before that.… He never changes.” J cringed delicately.

“Yeah, Jasper’s kind of funny that way.”

J shook his head as if he could shake away the disturbing thoughts. “Won’t you have a seat, Bella?”

There is no goddamn way this guy hasn't figured it out. Jasper's not even coming up with a cover story! He's not putting on old age makeup or claiming to be his own son or anything! He's just showing up for decades and making crazy eyes at these dudes while relying on being so scary that they won't try to investigate him further.

quote:

“Actually, I’m in a bit of a hurry. I’ve got a long drive home.” As I spoke, I took the thick white envelope with his bonus from my bag and handed it to him.

“Oh,” he said, a little catch of disappointment in his voice. He tucked the envelope into an inside pocket of his jacket without bothering to check the amount. “I was hoping we could speak for just a moment.”

“About?” I asked curiously.

“Well, let me get you your items first. I want to make sure you’re satisfied.”

He turned, placed his briefcase on the table, and popped the latches. He took out a legal-sized manila envelope.

Though I had no idea what I should be looking for, I opened the envelope and gave the contents a cursory glance. J had flipped Jacob’s picture and changed the coloring so that it wasn’t immediately evident that it was the same picture on both his passport and driver’s license. Both looked perfectly sound to me, but that meant little. I glanced at the picture on Vanessa Wolfe’s passport for a fraction of a second, and then looked away quickly, a lump rising in my throat.

So it'll be incredibly obvious as a fake if you ever hold the two up next to each other?

Meyer clearly has no idea how fake identities work in the modern day. Real people now have years of history going back, all of which can generally be checked for accuracy. You can't just get a fake ID and passport and instantly have a new identity. Midnight Sun talks a bit about faking school transcripts for the Cullen kids when they move, but there's only so many times you'll be able to get away with that before someone notices something odd. Carlisle, in particular, would have to fake an unbelievable amount of history and education to a degree that his efforts to get into a new hospital would likely fall apart as soon as anyone does a cursory check to make sure his records actually existed. I'm talking faking poo poo on the level of breaking into Oxford's computer systems to make sure there's not multiple records of a Carlisle Cullen attending courses every decade.

quote:

“Thank you,” I told him.

His eyes narrowed slightly, and I felt he was disappointed that my examination was not more thorough. “I can assure you every piece is perfect. All will pass the most rigorous scrutiny by experts.”

Doubtful!

quote:

“I’m sure they are. I truly appreciate what you’ve done for me, J.”

“It’s been my pleasure, Bella. In the future, feel free to come to me for anything the Cullen family needs.” He didn’t even hint at it really, but this sounded like an invitation for me to take over Jasper’s place as liaison.

“There was something you wanted to discuss?”

“Er, yes. It’s a bit delicate.…” He gestured to the stone hearth with a questioning expression. I sat on the edge of the stone, and he sat beside me. Sweat was dewing up on his forehead again, and he pulled a blue silk handkerchief from his pocket and began mopping.

“You are the sister of Mr. Jasper’s wife? Or married to his brother?” he asked.

“Married to his brother,” I clarified, wondering where this was leading.

“You would be Mr. Edward’s bride, then?”

Mr. Edward.

quote:

“Yes.”

He smiled apologetically. “I’ve seen all the names many times, you see. My belated congratulations. It’s nice that Mr. Edward has found such a lovely partner after all this time.”

“Thank you very much.”

This dude is such an emo incel that even the guy who makes their fake IDs can't believe he's finally gotten married.

Also, note how he says "all the names many times." That's all but confirmation that the Cullens and Hales have been going around using their real names for a century and expecting not to get caught.

quote:

He paused, dabbing at the sweat. “Over the years, you might imagine that I’ve developed a very healthy level of respect for Mr. Jasper and the entire family.”

I nodded cautiously.

He took a deep breath and then exhaled without speaking.

“J, please just say whatever you need to.”

He took another breath and then mumbled quickly, slurring the words together. “If you could just assure me that you are not planning to kidnap the little girl from her father, I would sleep better tonight.”

What, like you could stop her?

This just makes Jenks look awful. He's suspicious that the Cullens are not just supernatural, but actively kidnapping children. But he makes them fake documents with little to no question!

quote:

“Oh,” I said, stunned. It took me a minute to understand the erroneous conclusion he’d drawn. “Oh no. It’s nothing like that at all.” I smiled weakly, trying to reassure him. “I’m simply preparing a safe place for her in case something were to happen to my husband and me.”

His eyes narrowed. “Are you expecting something to happen?” He blushed, then apologized. “Not that it’s any of my business.”

I watched the red flush spread behind the delicate membrane of his skin and was glad—as I often was—that I was not the average newborn. J seemed a nice enough man, criminal behavior aside, and it would have been a shame to kill him.

A nice enough man, working with drug cartels aside.

quote:

“You never know.” I sighed.

He frowned. “May I wish you the best of luck, then. And please don’t be put out with me, my dear, but… if Mr. Jasper should come to me and ask what names I put on these documents…”

“Of course you should tell him immediately. I’d like nothing better than to have Mr. Jasper fully aware of our entire transaction.”

"Assuming he hasn't run like a coward to hide like I keep saying they did."

quote:

My transparent sincerity seemed to ease a bit of his tension.

“Very good,” he said. “And I can’t prevail upon you to stay for dinner?”

“I’m sorry, J. I’m short on time at present.”

“Then, again, my best wishes for your health and happiness. Anything at all the Cullen family needs, please don’t hesitate to call on me, Bella.”

“Thank you, J.”

I left with my contraband, glancing back to see that J was staring after me, his expression a mixture of anxiety and regret.

hyperhazard
Dec 4, 2011

I am the one lascivious
With magic potion niveous

chitoryu12 posted:

You have spent the entire loving series having everyone falling over themselves to describe how beautiful and desirable you are! The Illustrated Guide even shows Bella's appearance before and after he transformation, and it's really apparent that she was never meant to be "plain."



I get that they were going for beautiful and dangerous, but it just looks like she turned into a 90s manga villain.

Anias
Jun 3, 2010

It really is a lovely hat

Team Cullen is Blerping Off Again!

Cythereal
Nov 8, 2009

I love the potoo,
and the potoo loves you.

hyperhazard posted:

I get that they were going for beautiful and dangerous, but it just looks like she turned into a 90s manga villain.

Or an alien wearing a human as a suit and not quite understanding how humans are supposed to look.

Then again, every illustration I've seen from that book has looked ever so slightly... off.

hyperhazard
Dec 4, 2011

I am the one lascivious
With magic potion niveous
Like, I don't want to be too hard on the illustrator because maybe they're a successful artist, but every illustration I've seen looks like it belongs in a Shojo Beat story that would be canceled halfway through its run for being too bland.

PetraCore
Jul 20, 2017

👁️🔥👁️👁️👁️BE NOT👄AFRAID👁️👁️👁️🔥👁️

I like that the main difference between before and after bella is smooth hair and what seems to be, but is not intended to be, makeup.

Midjack
Dec 24, 2007



PetraCore posted:

I like that the main difference between before and after bella is smooth hair and what seems to be, but is not intended to be, makeup.

The lines are less smudged in the after art too.

chitoryu12
Apr 24, 2014

Midjack posted:

The lines are less smudged in the after art too.

They just straight up deleted the shading on her. Look at her nose!

chitoryu12
Apr 24, 2014



This was made by a fan before release. How much is accurate? Find out soon!

Midjack
Dec 24, 2007



chitoryu12 posted:



This was made by a fan before release. How much is accurate? Find out soon!

Forget bingo, that whole ticket will get punched.

Dienes
Nov 4, 2009

dee
doot doot dee
doot doot doot
doot doot dee
dee doot doot
doot doot dee
dee doot doot


College Slice

Midjack posted:

Forget bingo, that whole ticket will get punched.

You could probably knock out most of it in a single chapter.

chitoryu12
Apr 24, 2014

Midjack posted:

Forget bingo, that whole ticket will get punched.

From my memory, I got bingo two ways.

SUPERMAN'S GAL PAL
Feb 21, 2006

Holy Moly! DARKSEID IS!

hyperhazard posted:

Like, I don't want to be too hard on the illustrator because maybe they're a successful artist, but every illustration I've seen looks like it belongs in a Shojo Beat story that would be canceled halfway through its run for being too bland.

The Twilight adaptations and Illustrated Guide were done by manhwa artist Young Kim, and my weak search skills can't find where they've done any other professional work beyond Twilight. It seems like it's a common Korean name to have and I can't help wonder if it was a pseudonym (but that's entirely my own speculation).

vvv OH geez I forgot how POOR the word bubble placements and lettering are in this! It literally looks like it was published in another language first and someone went over with textboxes in a basic paint program for the English. Multiple instances of primary art covered with a huge bubble full of just empty space conveying nothing...maybe that’s on purpose.

SUPERMAN'S GAL PAL fucked around with this message at 21:27 on Aug 9, 2020

chitoryu12
Apr 24, 2014

I don’t think we’ve talked enough about a manhwa adaptation of Twilight existing.



PetraCore
Jul 20, 2017

👁️🔥👁️👁️👁️BE NOT👄AFRAID👁️👁️👁️🔥👁️

chitoryu12 posted:

I don’t think we’ve talked enough about a manhwa adaptation of Twilight existing.




Oh wow, they whitewashed all the native americans.

(Yes, I know the manhwa is drawing everyone to look vaguely korean, not caucasian, but Jacob is a lot paler so I think whitewashed still works.)

chitoryu12
Apr 24, 2014

More Midnight Sun spoilers without context:

Midjack
Dec 24, 2007



CNN article talking about the real town of Forks and the effect these books have had on their tourism:
https://www.cnn.com/travel/article/forks-washington-twilight-midnight-sun/index.html

hyperhazard
Dec 4, 2011

I am the one lascivious
With magic potion niveous
I take it back, after seeing those pages I can 100% see it as a successful monthly manhwa/manga.

chitoryu12
Apr 24, 2014

quote:

The return trip took me less time. The night was black, and so I turned off my headlights and floored it. When I got back to the house, most of the cars, including Alice’s Porsche and my Ferrari, were missing. The traditional vampires were going as far away as possible to satiate their thirst. I tried not to think of their hunting in the night, cringing at the mental picture of their victims.

Didn't bother doing anything to stop them, did you?

quote:

Only Kate and Garrett were in the front room, arguing playfully about the nutritional value of animal blood. I inferred that Garrett had attempted a hunting trip vegetarian-style and found it difficult.

Okay, why would it even be an argument? We saw what drinking animal blood is like! It's not as filling or powerful as human blood, but it's also no worse to the vampire than a bland vegan diet would be to a human. How many of us would, if told that we had to give up all meat sources except cannibalism, shrug and immediately start murdering our neighbors to keep having it?

quote:

Edward must have taken Renesmee home to sleep. Jacob, no doubt, was in the woods close by the cottage. The rest of my family must have been hunting as well. Perhaps they were out with the other Denalis.

Which basically gave me the house to myself, and I was quick to take advantage.

You....you don't have the house to yourself. Kate and Garrett are right there!

Oh, I get it. They're just props and plot devices. They don't have real motivations as characters anymore.

quote:

I could smell that I was the first one to enter Alice and Jasper’s room in a long while, maybe the first since the night they’d left us. I rooted silently through their huge closet until I found the right sort of bag. It must have been Alice’s; it was a small black leather backpack, the kind that was usually used as a purse, little enough that even Renesmee could carry it without looking out of place. Then I raided their petty cash, taking about twice the yearly income for the average American household. I guessed my theft would be less noticeable here than anywhere else in the house, since this room made everyone sad. The envelope with the fake passports and IDs went into the bag on top of the money. Then I sat on the edge of Alice and Jasper’s bed and looked at the pitifully insignificant package that was all I could give my daughter and my best friend to help save their lives. I slumped against the bedpost, feeling helpless.

The yearly income for the average American household in 2006 was $48,451. Alice and Jasper just casually had a hundred grand in cash sitting in their bedroom for a rainy day! And it's so little money to the Cullens that they won't even notice it's gone!

Why the hell do they even have this money stuffed everywhere? It's not like they've got bug-out bags full of supplies that they can grab in case the jig's suddenly up and they need to leave town before a vampire hunter or the Volturi roll in. It's much less secure than something in a bank account, as a fire or even an opportunistic house guest could swipe it (if they cared about it, since they're all but stated outright to have billions elsewhere). They just have wads of cash randomly stuffed into drawers, closets, under couch cushions, etc. as if it's decoration.

What we're seeing is stereotypically "new money" behavior. The kind of behavior you see from someone that's recently come into wealth and has no respect for it. The classic example would be a celebrity that gets their first smash hit album or movie and immediately buys a Malibu mansion where they hold parties with champagne pools and buy 20 supercars that they barely know how to drive. They didn't have money, now they do, and it becomes a wish fulfillment fantasy. At least until the debt hits.

If you look at how the Cullens treat their property and money (especially in this book), most of them don't even give a poo poo about cars or car culture but they all buy flashy sports cars that immediately attract attention everywhere they go. Alice speeds through fashion, wearing expensive items only once before donating, tossing, or even destroying them. There's little mention of antiques except in how some of their belongings are incredibly valuable due to their age and rarity.

It comes off as being what Meyer thinks being rich is like. She tries to write them as worldly and classy, but everything they do is what she thinks rich people do all the time: buy expensive poo poo without even caring about it and have cash spilling out of every orifice. It's like how Donald Trump's idea of aesthetic is plating everything down to the toilets in gold so he can loudly signify that he's a millionaire.

quote:

But what else could I do?

I sat there for several minutes with my head bowed before the inkling of a good idea came to me.

If…

If I was to assume that Jacob and Renesmee were going to escape, then that included the assumption that Demetri would be dead. That gave any survivors a little breathing room, Alice and Jasper included.

So why couldn’t Alice and Jasper help Jacob and Renesmee? If they were reunited, Renesmee would have the best protection imaginable. There was no reason why this couldn’t happen, except for the fact that Jake and Renesmee both were blind spots for Alice. How would she begin to look for them?

Oh, this is gonna be rich.

quote:

I deliberated for a moment, then left the room, crossing the hall to Carlisle and Esme’s suite. As usual, Esme’s desk was stacked with plans and blueprints, everything neatly laid out in tall piles. The desk had a slew of pigeonholes above the work surface; in one was a box of stationery. I took a fresh sheet of paper and a pen.

Remember how the first assumption everyone had was that Alice would have stolen a pen and paper from a house along her way for a note instead of taking some from her own home?

quote:

Then I stared at the blank ivory page for a full five minutes, concentrating on my decision. Alice might not be able to see Jacob or Renesmee, but she could see me. I visualized her seeing this moment, hoping desperately that she wasn’t too busy to pay attention.

Slowly, deliberately, I wrote the words RIO DE JANEIRO in all caps across the page.

Rio seemed the best place to send them: It was far away from here, Alice and Jasper were already in South America at last report, and it wasn’t like our old problems had ceased to exist just because we had worse problems now. There was still the mystery of Renesmee’s future, the terror of her racing age. We’d been headed south anyway. Now it would be Jacob’s, and hopefully Alice’s, job to search for the legends.

There's so many problems with this, I can't even fathom how an editor let this slide.

1. Alice sees the future, not the present. So this would only work if Alice already saw her doing this and she thinks she's fulfilling the prophecy somehow.

2. She's not providing any other information. In case you forgot, Rio De Janeiro is a tiny bit larger than Forks. To be exact, 427 times bigger by area. And Alice and Jasper are just gonna show up and find Jacob and Renesmee...somehow.

3. The ultimate problem: if this isn't how things play out, this was all for nothing. Reading about all this prep work will have been completely useless. Whole chapters that exist only to push it forward that will no longer matter.

quote:

I bowed my head again against a sudden urge to sob, clenching my teeth together. It was better that Renesmee go on without me. But I already missed her so much I could barely stand it.

Yes, you're so brave! Sacrificing yourself for no goddamn reason again!

This is so dumb because it's obvious what Meyer is doing here. Her whole thing about Bella is that she's the most selfless hero to ever sacrifice herself. Midnight Sun will continue to wax rhapsodic about how everyone is so amazed at how selfless Bella is, always willing to give up everything she has for other people. And I've long pointed out all the times where her sacrifices are really loving stupid and often make things worse.

This is the nadir of it. The most useless of all sacrifices: one that she invented for herself out of whole cloth for the purposes of histrionic drama.

quote:

I took a deep breath and put the note at the bottom of the duffel bag, where Jacob would find it soon enough.

And there's the next problem with her plan. It all hinges on Jacob finding the note and understanding that he needs to go to Rio and....do stuff. She's pretty sure it's his job now to find out the mystery of Renesmee from all the mystical natives living in Rio, but she's not giving him any instructions. And spoilers: she never does. She just leaves the name of a city in Renesmee's backpack (note that she calls it a duffel bag in this sentence but every other one says it's a backpack/purse thing) and expects them to go there and Alice to find them and keep working.

quote:

I crossed my fingers that—since it was unlikely that his high school offered Portuguese—Jake had at least taken Spanish as his language elective.

You loving idiot.

quote:

There was nothing left now but waiting.

For two days, Edward and Carlisle stayed in the clearing where Alice had seen the Volturi arrive. It was the same killing field where Victoria’s newborns had attacked last summer. I wondered if it felt repetitive to Carlisle, like déjà vu. For me, it would be all new. This time Edward and I would stand with our family.

Wait, Carlisle is the local doctor. He just hasn't shown up to work for two whole days?

quote:

We could only imagine that the Volturi would be tracking either Edward or Carlisle. I wondered if it would surprise them that their prey didn’t run. Would that make them wary? I couldn’t imagine the Volturi ever feeling a need for caution.

But...aren't the Volturi not supposed to know the Cullens are expecting them?

quote:

Though I was—hopefully—invisible to Demetri, I stayed with Edward. Of course. We only had a few hours left to be together.

Edward and I had not had a last grand scene of farewell, nor did I plan one. To speak the word was to make it final. It would be the same as typing the words The End on the last page of a manuscript. So we did not say our goodbyes, and we stayed very close to each other, always touching. Whatever end found us, it would not find us separated.

Bullshit. You two are the biggest drama queens in the goddamn book. Edward specifically attempted to commit suicide in the most extra way possible. There's no chance in Hell that you two would miss the chance to have a glorious, explosive exit that would probably take everyone down with you.

quote:

We set up a tent for Renesmee a few yards back into the protective forest, and then there was more déjà vu as we found ourselves camping in the cold again with Jacob. It was almost impossible to believe how much things had changed since last June. Seven months ago, our triangular relationship seemed impossible, three different kinds of heartbreak that could not be avoided. Now everything was in perfect balance. It seemed hideously ironic that the puzzle pieces would fit together just in time for all of them to be destroyed.

The perfect balance: their daughter in a tent with her adult husband while they sit in silence away from her, staring at each other again.

Hey, could be worse. Jacob could be behaving like he did last time you were camping!

quote:

It started to snow again the night before New Year’s Eve. This time, the tiny flakes did not dissolve into the stony ground of the clearing. While Renesmee and Jacob slept—Jacob snoring so loudly I wondered how Renesmee didn’t wake—the snow made first a thin icing over the earth, then built into thicker drifts. By the time the sun rose, the scene from Alice’s vision was complete. Edward and I held hands as we stared across the glittering white field, and neither of us spoke.

Through the early morning, the others gathered, their eyes bearing mute evidence of their preparations—some light gold, some rich crimson. Soon after we all were together, we could hear the wolves moving in the woods. Jacob emerged from the tent, leaving Renesmee still sleeping, to join them.

Bella's not even flinching anymore at noticing that their allies murdered a bunch of people last night.

quote:

Edward and Carlisle were arraying the others into a loose formation, our witnesses to the sides like galleries.

I watched from a distance, waiting by the tent for Renesmee to wake. When she did, I helped her dress in the clothes I’d carefully picked out two days before. Clothes that looked frilly and feminine but that were actually sturdy enough to not show any wear—even if a person wore them while riding a giant werewolf through a couple of states. Over her jacket I put on the black leather backpack with the documents, the money, the clue, and my love notes for her and Jacob, Charlie and Renée. She was strong enough that it was no burden to her.

What bullshit is that? "She's going to be traveling rough across the open terrain, but I have to make sure everyone knows she's a girl!"

Also, what are their other supplies? She's got money, the clothes on her back, fake documents, some notes....and that's it. What, is Jacob supposed to walk naked into a mall and buy them everything?

quote:

Her eyes were huge as she read the agony on my face. But she had guessed enough not to ask me what I was doing.

“I love you,” I told her. “More than anything.”

"Not more than death, though. I'll take that in a loving heartbeat.

quote:

“I love you, too, Momma,” she answered. She touched the locket at her neck, which now held a tiny photo of her, Edward, and me. “We’ll always be together.”

She's speaking like a caricature of a toddler.

What has Bella even done for her? She's pawned the kid off onto everyone else every chance she gets. She didn't even stay in the tent with her while camping!

quote:

“In our hearts we’ll always be together,” I corrected in a whisper as quiet as a breath. “But when the time comes today, you have to leave me.”

Her eyes widened, and she touched her hand to my cheek. The silent no was louder than if she’d shouted it.

I fought to swallow; my throat felt swollen. “Will you do it for me? Please?”

She pressed her fingers harder to my face. Why?

“I can’t tell you,” I whispered. “But you’ll understand soon. I promise.”

In my head, I saw Jacob’s face.

I nodded, then pulled her fingers away. “Don’t think of it,” I breathed into her ear. “Don’t tell Jacob until I tell you to run, okay?”

This she understood. She nodded, too.

So she's told nobody her plan, not even the two people who are supposed to be doing the running. She's psyching herself up for flinging herself into the Volturi and sacrificing her entire family and all of their allies on a secret plan nobody knows about, because she tricked herself into thinking it was the only solution.

This is the dumbest loving book.

quote:

I took from my pocket one last detail.

While packing Renesmee’s things, an unexpected sparkle of color had caught my eye. A chance ray of sun through the skylight had hit the jewels on the ancient precious box stuffed high overhead on a shelf in an untouched corner. I considered it for a moment and then shrugged. After putting together Alice’s clues, I couldn’t hope that the coming confrontation would be resolved peacefully. But why not try to start things out as friendly as possible? I asked myself. What could it hurt? So I guess I must have had some hope left after all—blind, senseless hope—because I’d scaled the shelves and retrieved Aro’s wedding present to me.

Now I fastened the thick gold rope around my neck and felt the weight of the enormous diamond nestle into the hollow of my throat.

But isn't your whole thing that the Volturi are just coming to steal everyone who has powers? So this would be completely useless as a gesture?

Oh wait, now it's "The Volturi really are here to negotiate and I need to be friendly." My mistake. It switches so often.

quote:

“Pretty,” Renesmee whispered. Then she wrapped her arms like a vise around my neck. I squeezed her against my chest. Interlocked this way, I carried her out of the tent and to the clearing.

Such a genius that she's smarter than most adults, reduced to cooing "Pretty!" when she sees something shiny.

quote:

Edward cocked one eyebrow as I approached, but otherwise did not remark on my accessory or Renesmee’s. He just put his arms tight around us both for one long moment and then, with a deep sigh, let us go. I couldn’t see a goodbye anywhere in his eyes. Maybe he had more hope for something after this life than he’d let on.

Yes, Bella. It is literally just you who's decided that everything is hopeless and you may as well fling yourself into a pit of flames tonight. Everyone else is acting normally.

quote:

We took our place, Renesmee climbing agilely onto my back to leave my hands free. I stood a few feet behind the front line made up by Carlisle, Edward, Emmett, Rosalie, Tanya, Kate, and Eleazar. Close beside me were Benjamin and Zafrina; it was my job to protect them as long as I was able. They were our best offensive weapons. If the Volturi were the ones who could not see, even for a few moments, that would change everything.

If you think this is going to be a fight and Renesmee has to run, why is she on your loving back?

quote:

Zafrina was rigid and fierce, with Senna almost a mirror image at her side. Benjamin sat on the ground, his palms pressed to the dirt, and muttered quietly about fault lines. Last night, he’d strewn piles of boulders in natural-looking, now snow-covered heaps all along the back of the meadow. They weren’t enough to injure a vampire, but hopefully enough to distract one.

Benjamin has complete control of the elements, including the one that instantly kills any vampire...and his plan is to throw some rocks.

quote:

The witnesses clustered to our left and right, some nearer than others—those who had declared themselves were the closest. I noticed Siobhan rubbing her temples, her eyes closed in concentration; was she humoring Carlisle? Trying to visualize a diplomatic resolution?

In the woods behind us, the invisible wolves were still and ready; we could only hear their heavy panting, their beating hearts.

So...they're not actually invisible to the Volturi. Who also have these powers and will immediately clue in that there's a bunch of werewolves in the treeline.

quote:

The clouds rolled in, diffusing the light so that it could have been morning or afternoon. Edward’s eyes tightened as he scrutinized the view, and I was sure he was seeing this exact scene for the second time—the first time being Alice’s vision. It would look just the same when the Volturi arrived. We only had minutes or seconds left now.

Remember that Bella never saw Alice's vision or had it described to her. She just knows that it occurred when it's snowing. It sounds like Meyer forgot that she never saw that visual and slapped in "Well surely Edward's expressions means that's what it looked like" to cover.

quote:

All our family and allies braced themselves.

From the forest, the huge russet Alpha wolf came forward to stand at my side; it must have been too hard for him to keep his distance from Renesmee when she was in such immediate danger.

Renesmee reached out to twine her fingers in the fur over his massive shoulder, and her body relaxed a little bit. She was calmer with Jacob close. I felt a tiny bit better, too. As long as Jacob was with Renesmee, she would be all right.

There's something really dumb with the wolves in a bit that will make this decision of his seem insanely stupid.

quote:

Without risking a glance behind, Edward reached back to me. I stretched my arm forward so that I could grip his hand. He squeezed my fingers.

Another minute ticked by, and I found myself straining to hear some sound of approach.

And then Edward stiffened and hissed low between his clenched teeth. His eyes focused on the forest due north of where we stood.

We stared where he did, and waited as the last seconds passed.

Shwoo
Jul 21, 2011

This seems to be building up into a fight scene, so I bet it'll immediately turn into chapters and chapters of talking instead. Maybe because of Bella's shield powers, but might be too much to ask for her to accomplish anything important. Especially at the book's climax.

chitoryu12 posted:

Bullshit. You two are the biggest drama queens in the goddamn book. Edward specifically attempted to commit suicide in the most extra way possible.
Because Bella jumped off a cliff in order to adrenaline herself into hallucinating his voice so she could feel alive again. It's amazing Edward's suicide by vampire cop plan managed to top even that.

chitoryu12
Apr 24, 2014

Chapter 36: Bloodlust

quote:

They came with pageantry, with a kind of beauty.

They came in a rigid, formal formation. They moved together, but it was not a march; they flowed in perfect synchronicity from the trees—a dark, unbroken shape that seemed to hover a few inches above the white snow, so smooth was the advance.

The outer perimeter was gray; the color darkened with each line of bodies until the heart of the formation was deepest black. Every face was cowled, shadowed. The faint brushing sound of their feet was so regular it was like music, a complicated beat that never faltered.

Oh God.

They're as dramatic as Edward.

quote:

At some sign I did not see—or perhaps there was no sign, only millennia of practice—the configuration folded outward. The motion was too stiff, too square to resemble the opening of a flower, though the color suggested that; it was the opening of a fan, graceful but very angular. The gray-cloaked figures spread to the flanks while the darker forms surged precisely forward in the center, each movement closely controlled.

"Millennia of practice" implies that this is their normal routine for showing up somewhere. Aro just arranged everyone by cloak color and slapped anyone not in the right position before coming to war.

quote:

Their progress was slow but deliberate, with no hurry, no tension, no anxiety. It was the pace of the invincible.

So the pace of the Twilight series.

quote:

This was almost my old nightmare. The only thing lacking was the gloating desire I’d seen on the faces in my dream—the smiles of vindictive joy. Thus far, the Volturi were too disciplined to show any emotion at all. They also showed no surprise or dismay at the collection of vampires that waited for them here—a collection that looked suddenly disorganized and unprepared in comparison. They showed no surprise at the giant wolf that stood in our midst.

You're surprised that they're not the evil, gloating villains of your prophetic dreams?

quote:

I couldn’t help counting. There were thirty-two of them. Even if you did not count the two drifting, waifish black-cloaked figures in the very back, who I took to be the wives—their protected position suggesting that they would not be involved in the attack—we were still outnumbered. There were just nineteen of us who would fight, and then seven more to watch as we were destroyed. Even counting the ten wolves, they had us.

Meyer has this bizarre obsession with numbers being the only thing that matters in a fight, like every one of them is exactly equal and each vampire or werewolf will need to pair up with their closest counterpart. It's like an old cartoon where every character has an exact counterpart with the bad guys that they fight, including the token girls pairing up for a Girl Fight.

In reality, the deck is incredibly stacked in the Cullens' favor. Even outside basic fighting skill, they have multiple people with psychic powers that can be placed over presumably the entire Volturi to blind them, various trained fighters (including at least three professional soldiers and two tribal warriors), a telepath who can read his opponent's mind and predict their moves before they do them like a loving Jedi, someone who can block the powers of her opponents, and a guy who can throw fireballs and control the earth itself. And that's not even counting the wolf pack!

quote:

“The redcoats are coming, the redcoats are coming,” Garrett muttered mysteriously to himself and then chuckled once. He slid one step closer to Kate.

There's your hint as to Garrett's past! Never mind that "redcoats" was not the preferred term when he was mortal; they would use "lobsters" or simply "regulars".

Also, that's supposed to be Garrett and Kate starting a relationship. The only clue that they were supposed to be connecting romantically is their prior two brief interactions.

quote:

“They did come,” Vladimir whispered to Stefan.

“The wives,” Stefan hissed back. “The entire guard. All of them together. It’s well we didn’t try Volterra.”

Wait, you guys loving knew that they had emptied out their entire fortress and you decided to show up here instead of rushing Volterra and taking it for yourself?

Once again: no wonder you lost the war.

quote:

And then, as if their numbers were not enough, while the Volturi slowly and majestically advanced, more vampires began entering the clearing behind them.

The faces in this seemingly endless influx of vampires were the antithesis to the Volturi’s expressionless discipline—they wore a kaleidoscope of emotions. At first there was the shock and even some anxiety as they saw the unexpected force awaiting them. But that concern passed quickly; they were secure in their overwhelming numbers, secure in their position behind the unstoppable Volturi force. Their features returned to the expression they’d worn before we’d surprised them.

It was easy enough to understand their mindset—the faces were that explicit. This was an angry mob, whipped to a frenzy and slavering for justice. I did not fully realize the vampire world’s feeling toward the immortal children before I read these faces.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0u6QAjMjtLM

Just make like 70 tabs of this video and play them all at once.

Also, how loving stupid is Bella? Carlisle dedicated a whole chapter to telling her the story of how immortal children make vampires go apeshit, and the Denali started pinballing off the walls and screaming just from seeing a child in the same room as vampires and assuming she must be a vampire too. And somehow it took until now for her to realize they had a problem with it?

quote:

It was clear that this motley, disorganized horde—more than forty vampires altogether—was the Volturi’s own kind of witness. When we were dead, they would spread the word that the criminals had been eradicated, that the Volturi had acted with nothing but impartiality. Most looked like they hoped for more than just an opportunity to witness—they wanted to help tear and burn.

Why the hell would the Volturi need witnesses to spread their message? They've been firmly in control of the underworld for 1500 years!

quote:

We didn’t have a prayer. Even if we could somehow neutralize the Volturi’s advantages, they could still bury us in bodies. Even if we killed Demetri, Jacob would not be able to outrun this.

I could feel it as the same comprehension sunk in around me. Despair weighted the air, pushing me down with more pressure than before.

We're at the point where just about everything that happens is sending our Strong Female Protagonist sinking to the floor in wailing agony while everyone looks at her funny.

What's really sending me is that nobody else is like this. Bella is the only one here who's decided that everything is hopeless and they're all doomed to die, but her family and their allies are all either confident in their chances or at least behaving like it's a relatively even match. Meyer has (inadvertently or not) solidified Bella as a giant loving baby above and beyond the rest of the cast.

quote:

One vampire in the opposing force did not seem to belong to either party; I recognized Irina as she hesitated in between the two companies, her expression unique among the others. Irina’s horrified gaze was locked on Tanya’s position in the front line. Edward snarled, a very low but fervent sound.

So Irina didn't even get in touch with her sisters! She flew like mad to Volterra, told the Volturi what happened, then just loving chilled in Italy I guess.

quote:

“Alistair was right,” he murmured to Carlisle.

I watched Carlisle glance at Edward questioningly.

“Alistair was right?” Tanya whispered.

“They—Caius and Aro—come to destroy and acquire,” Edward breathed almost silently back; only our side could hear. “They have many layers of strategy already in place. If Irina’s accusation had somehow proven to be false, they were committed to find another reason to take offense. But they can see Renesmee now, so they are perfectly sanguine about their course. We could still attempt to defend against their other contrived charges, but first they have to stop, to hear the truth about Renesmee.” Then, even lower. “Which they have no intention of doing.”

Nobody talks like this.

quote:

Jacob gave a strange little huff.

And then, unexpectedly, two seconds later, the procession did halt. The low music of perfectly synchronized movements turned to silence. The flawless discipline remained unbroken; the Volturi froze into absolute stillness as one. They stood about a hundred yards away from us.

Oh my God, they did practice this!

quote:

Behind me, to the sides, I heard the beating of large hearts, closer than before. I risked glances to the left and the right from the corners of my eyes to see what had stopped the Volturi advance.

The wolves had joined us.

Super vampire senses, can't hear almost a dozen wolves the size of horses walking up behind her.

quote:

On either side of our uneven line, the wolves branched out in long, bordering arms. I only spared a fraction of a second to note that there were more than ten wolves, to recognize the wolves I knew and the ones I’d never seen before. There were sixteen of them spaced evenly around us—seventeen total, counting Jacob. It was clear from their heights and oversized paws that the newcomers all were very, very young. I supposed I should have foreseen this. With so many vampires encamped in the neighborhood, a werewolf population explosion was inevitable.

This book makes it out like being a Quileute is loving awful. Imagine that you're only 13 and when you get mad you suddenly explode into a giant wolf, and now you're being forced to fight to your death to protect the town from a vampire invasion all because one of the alphas is a crazy imprinter who's physically and mentally incapable of not charging into battle to protect his child bride. Child bride's mom is completely convinced that they're going to have to flee the country anyway, but she's decided to make it a dramatic standoff that sacrifices everyone she knows and loves anyway. And your pack leader has told you that you have no choice but to come and die on the field of battle, hearing the telepathic screams of every one of your friends and family as they're snuffed out. And if you lose, your whole reservation will be destroyed and eaten.

I would lay this 100% at Bella's feet. Despite being so distraught at their chances that she's decided that Renesmee and Jacob fleeing for Brazil is inevitable, she's still keeping them around specifically to force a fight and give herself the sacrifice she's bizarrely driven towards all the time. It comes off as not only suicidal, but self-destructive to such an extreme degree that she'll lash out and take down whole communities with her.

quote:

More children dying. I wondered why Sam had allowed this, and then I realized he had no other choice. If any of the wolves stood with us, the Volturi would be sure to search out the rest. They had gambled their entire species on this stand.

And we were going to lose.

Shut up. The book has been extremely clear that werewolves must fight to the death to protect an imprint, even one who's not their own. If Jacob had taken Renesmee into hiding, none of this would be happening. Instead Bella is trying to lay the blame on Sam, as if it's his responsibility that the whole tribe has been dragged into their war.

quote:

Abruptly, I was furious. Beyond furious, I was murderously enraged. My hopeless despair vanished entirely. A faint reddish glow highlighted the dark figures in front of me, and all I wanted in that moment was the chance to sink my teeth into them, to rip their limbs from their bodies and pile them for burning. I was so maddened I could have danced around the pyre where they roasted alive; I would have laughed while their ashes smoldered. My lips curved back automatically, and a low, fierce snarl tore up my throat from the pit of my stomach. I realized the corners of my mouth were turned up in a smile.

Beside me, Zafrina and Senna echoed my hushed growl. Edward squeezed the hand he still held, cautioning me.

Maybe you'd be a lot better about keeping the plan straight if you weren't screaming internally about how it's going to turn into a battle anyway so you may as well charge them!

Imagine a book where she did that. The protagonist just blindly rushes forward with a plan she told nobody about and gets everyone annihilated in the confusion.

quote:

The shadowed Volturi faces were still expressionless for the most part. Only two sets of eyes betrayed any emotion at all. In the very center, touching hands, Aro and Caius had paused to evaluate, and the entire guard had paused with them, waiting for the order to kill. The two did not look at each other, but it was obvious that they were communicating. Marcus, though touching Aro’s other hand, did not seem part of the conversation. His expression was not as mindless as the guards’, but it was nearly as blank. Like the one other time I’d seen him, he appeared to be utterly bored.

Why does Meyer insist on adding so many characters when she's unwilling to write them? The Romanians are basically one character split in half, most of the vampires have little personality (when's the last time you saw Mary and Randall?), and Marcus is so deep in a millennia-long depression that he won't do anything but mope and stare at what's going on.

quote:

The bodies of the Volturi’s witnesses leaned toward us, their eyes fixed furiously on Renesmee and me, but they stayed near the fringe of the forest, leaving a wide berth between themselves and the Volturi soldiers. Only Irina hovered close behind the Volturi, just a few paces away from the ancient females—both fair-haired with powdery skin and filmed eyes—and their two massive bodyguards.





The wives, Sulpicia and Athenodora (yes, really), are such non-entities they didn't even get character portraits for the movie! They were respectively played by Rebecca Barras and Abbie Dunn, both small-time actresses who mostly work in lower budget movies or bit parts on TV.

quote:

There was a woman in one of the darker gray cloaks just behind Aro. I couldn’t be sure, but it looked like she might actually be touching his back. Was this the other shield, Renata? I wondered, as Eleazar had, if she would be able to repel me.

Renata was not included in the movie, which should say good things about how important she'll be later on.

quote:

But I would not waste my life trying to get to Caius or Aro. I had more vital targets.

I searched the line for them now and had no difficulty picking out the two petite, deep gray cloaks near the heart of the arrangement. Alec and Jane, easily the smallest members of the guard, stood just to Marcus’s side, flanked by Demetri on the other. Their lovely faces were smooth, giving nothing away; they wore the darkest cloaks beside the pure black of the ancients. The witch twins, Vladimir had called them. Their powers were the cornerstone of the Volturi offensive. The jewels in Aro’s collection.

My muscles flexed, and venom welled in my mouth.

It really is a mystery how vampires form covens in the first place with their instinctual aggression. Negotiation always seems to be what they have to shake themselves into instead of attacking a potential threat on sight. We'll get to see Victoria's actual personality in Midnight Sun and she's practically a paranoid lunatic.

quote:

Aro’s and Caius’s clouded red eyes flickered across our line. I read disappointment in Aro’s face as his gaze roved over our faces again and again, looking for one that was missing. Chagrin tightened his lips.

I'm banning the word "chagrin." Removing it from the dictionary.

quote:

In that moment, I was nothing but grateful that Alice had run.

We're still keeping that up this late in the game, huh? 14% of the book to go and you're still going "Oh my, I can't believe Alice ran away like a coward!"

quote:

As the pause lengthened, I heard Edward’s breath speed.

“Edward?” Carlisle asked, low and anxious.

“They’re not sure how to proceed. They’re weighing options, choosing key targets—me, of course, you, Eleazar, Tanya. Marcus is reading the strength of our ties to each other, looking for weak points. The Romanians’ presence irritates them. They’re worried about the faces they don’t recognize—Zafrina and Senna in particular—and the wolves, naturally. They’ve never been outnumbered before. That’s what stopped them.”

Illustrated Guide says what? The Romanians merely irritate them. Their mortal enemies who want to kill them and fought them in a bloody war for dominance over Europe.

quote:

“Outnumbered?” Tanya whispered incredulously.

“They don’t count their witnesses,” Edward breathed. “They are nonentities, meaningless to the guard. Aro just enjoys an audience.”

This is just a battle between two sets of drama queens.

quote:

“Should I speak?” Carlisle asked.

Edward hesitated, then nodded. “This is the only chance you’ll get.”

Believe me, it is not.

quote:

Carlisle squared his shoulders and paced several steps ahead of our defensive line. I hated to see him alone, unprotected.

He spread his arms, holding his palms up as if in greeting. “Aro, my old friend. It’s been centuries.”

The white clearing was dead silent for a long moment. I could feel the tension rolling off Edward as he listened to Aro’s assessment of Carlisle’s words. The strain mounted as the seconds ticked by.

Having Edward here is such a giant drain on tension. It's never a mystery what any characters are up to, since we're in the head of the only one who's shielded from his power. Instead of having characters show their intentions through their actions and words, Edward can simply whisper everyone's inner thoughts to the audience. There's no real game of manipulation here.

quote:

And then Aro stepped forward out of the center of the Volturi formation. The shield, Renata, moved with him as if the tips of her fingers were sewn to his robe. For the first time, the Volturi ranks reacted. A muttered grumble rolled through the line, eyebrows lowered into scowls, lips curled back from teeth. A few of the guard leaned forward into a crouch.

Aro held one hand up toward them. “Peace.”

I thought these guys were so disciplined that they could stay in perfect synchronized formation? Aro walks forward to talk to the other side's leader and now they're suddenly crouching and baring their teeth like angry dogs.

quote:

He walked just a few paces more, then cocked his head to one side. His milky eyes glinted with curiosity.

“Fair words, Carlisle,” he breathed in his thin, wispy voice. “They seem out of place, considering the army you’ve assembled to kill me, and to kill my dear ones.”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3WdHTGeSgmo

Yeah, "thin and wispy" is Meyer's idea. Casting Michael Sheen and letting him ham it up was a stroke of genius.

quote:

Carlisle shook his head and stretched his right hand forward as if there were not still almost a hundred yards between them. “You have but to touch my hand to know that was never my intent.”

Aro’s shrewd eyes narrowed. “But how can your intent possibly matter, dear Carlisle, in the face of what you have done?” He frowned, and a shadow of sadness crossed his features—whether it was genuine or not, I could not tell.

“I have not committed the crime you are here to punish me for.”

“Then step aside and let us punish those responsible. Truly, Carlisle, nothing would please me more than to preserve your life today.”

“No one has broken the law, Aro. Let me explain.” Again, Carlisle offered his hand.

Before Aro could answer, Caius drifted swiftly forward to Aro’s side.

“So many pointless rules, so many unnecessary laws you create for yourself, Carlisle,” the white-haired ancient hissed. “How is it possible that you defend the breaking of one that truly matters?”

None of your other rules matter? The ones all about not revealing the world of vampires to humans? The ones you regularly respond to harshly to keep the peace?

quote:

“The law is not broken. If you would listen—”

“We see the child, Carlisle,” Caius snarled. “Do not treat us as fools.”

Yeah, exactly like when the Denali showed up. Renesmee, with her heartbeat and flushed, warm skin, is right there. And not a single one of these supposedly superpowered, badass, super smart vampires has done so much as focus for a second on her to tell. They really would have just rolled up and started taking heads if they weren't stopped.

quote:

“She is not an immortal. She is not a vampire. I can easily prove this with just a few moments—”

Caius cut him off. “If she is not one of the forbidden, then why have you massed a battalion to protect her?”

Because you guys were just as dumbass about this as we guessed? Vampires are loving stupid!

quote:

“Witnesses, Caius, just as you have brought.” Carlisle gestured to the angry horde at the edge of the woods; some of them growled in response. “Any one of these friends can tell you the truth about the child. Or you could just look at her, Caius. See the flush of human blood in her cheeks.”

Nobody talks like this

quote:

“Artifice!” Caius snapped. “Where is the informer? Let her come forward!” He craned his neck around until he spotted Irina lingering behind the wives. “You! Come!”

What crazy contraptions would you have to rig up to get a vampire to have all the features Renesmee has as a trick?

quote:

Irina stared at him uncomprehendingly, her face like that of someone who has not entirely awakened from a hideous nightmare. Impatiently, Caius snapped his fingers. One of the wives’ huge bodyguards moved to Irina’s side and prodded her roughly in the back. Irina blinked twice and then walked slowly toward Caius in a daze. She stopped several yards short, her eyes still on her sisters.

Caius closed the distance between them and slapped her across the face.

It couldn’t have hurt, but there was something terribly degrading about the action. It was like watching someone kick a dog. Tanya and Kate hissed in synchronization.

Do you believe her or not? You were shouting about how it's "artifice" but now you're slapping up your witness without even waiting for an explanation. The Volturi have just suddenly become stereotypical evil villains who abuse people for kicks.

quote:

Irina’s body went rigid and her eyes finally focused on Caius. He pointed one clawed finger at Renesmee, where she clung to my back, her fingers still tangled in Jacob’s fur. Caius turned entirely red in my furious view. A growl rumbled through Jacob’s chest.

Does she have loving Predator vision in her rage?

quote:

“This is the child you saw?” Caius demanded. “The one that was obviously more than human?”

Irina peered at us, examining Renesmee for the first time since entering the clearing. Her head tilted to the side, confusion crossed her features.

“Well?” Caius snarled.

“I… I’m not sure,” she said, her tone perplexed.

Caius’s hand twitched as if he wanted to slap her again. “What do you mean?” he said in a steely whisper.

“She’s not the same, but I think it’s the same child. What I mean is, she’s changed. This child is bigger than the one I saw, but—”

But she should still look like the same kid! It's not like Renesmee suddenly sprouted into a teenager in the past few weeks. Imagine seeing your friend's daughter a few months later and suddenly being unsure if it's the same person.

quote:

Caius’s furious gasp crackled through his suddenly bared teeth, and Irina broke off without finishing. Aro flitted to Caius’s side and put a restraining hand on his shoulder.

“Be composed, brother. We have time to sort this out. No need to be hasty.”

Did Caius take his vampire meth before coming here? Back in New Moon he was just sort of cranky and barely speaking above a whisper. Now he's roid raging on the Cullens.

quote:

With a sullen expression, Caius turned his back on Irina.

“Now, sweetling,” Aro said in a warm, sugary murmur. “Show me what you’re trying to say.” He held his hand out to the bewildered vampire.

"Sweetling"? That's not a word!

quote:

Uncertainly, Irina took his hand. He held hers for only five seconds.

“You see, Caius?” he said. “It’s a simple matter to get what we need.”

Caius didn’t answer him. From the corner of his eye, Aro glanced once at his audience, his mob, and then turned back to Carlisle.

“And so we have a mystery on our hands, it seems. It would appear the child has grown. Yet Irina’s first memory was clearly that of an immortal child. Curious.”

“That’s exactly what I’m trying to explain,” Carlisle said, and from the change in his voice, I could guess at his relief. This was the pause we had pinned all our nebulous hopes on.

Once again, this entire plot only exists because nobody talks to each other and everyone just zips around dramatically yelling and hissing instead of paying attention. At any point Carlisle could have just said what Renesmee is, but instead he's insisting on holding his hand out for a mind reading while Caius stomps in the snow and slaps around people on his side.

quote:

I felt no relief. I waited, almost numb with rage, for the layers of strategy Edward had promised.

Uh, no. Edward didn't promise any "layers of strategy." He told you point blank that the Volturi were just going to kill everyone and not listen to anything, something that is clearly happening right now.

quote:

Carlisle held out his hand again.

Aro hesitated for a moment. “I would rather have the explanation from someone more central to the story, my friend. Am I wrong to assume that this breach was not of your making?”

“There was no breach.”

JUST TALK

quote:

“Be that as it may, I will have every facet of the truth.” Aro’s feathery voice hardened. “And the best way to get that is to have the evidence directly from your talented son.” He inclined his head in Edward’s direction. “As the child clings to his newborn mate, I’m assuming Edward is involved.”

Never say "newborn mate" again.

quote:

Of course he wanted Edward. Once he could see into Edward’s mind, he would know all our thoughts. Except mine.

Yes, we know.

quote:

Edward turned to quickly kiss my forehead and Renesmee’s, not meeting my eyes. Then he strode across the snowy field, clapping Carlisle on the shoulder as he passed. I heard a low whimper from behind me—Esme’s terror breaking through.

How much have the new vampires taken over the plot?

That's the first line Esme has had in 7 chapters.

quote:

The red haze I saw around the Volturi army flamed brighter than before. I could not bear to watch Edward cross the empty white space alone—but I also could not endure to have Renesmee one step closer to our adversaries. The opposing needs tore at me; I was frozen so tightly it felt like my bones might shatter from the pressure of it.

Meanwhile Bella has shifted from tearing her hair out in despair to barely restraining herself from running screaming at the negotiations and getting everyone killed.

quote:

I saw Jane smile as Edward crossed the midpoint in the distance between us, when he was closer to them than he was to us.

That smug little smile did it. My fury peaked, higher even than the raging bloodlust I’d felt the moment the wolves had committed to this doomed fight. I could taste madness on my tongue—I felt it flow through me like a tidal wave of pure power. My muscles tightened, and I acted automatically. I threw my shield with all the force in my mind, flung it across the impossible expanse of the field—ten times my best distance—like a javelin. My breath rushed out in a huff with the exertion.

The shield blew out from me in a bubble of sheer energy, a mushroom cloud of liquid steel. It pulsed like a living thing—I could feel it, from the apex to the edges.

And...now she just did something that could immediately be declared a violent act!

quote:

There was no recoil to the elastic fabric now; in that instant of raw force, I saw that the backlash I’d felt before was of my own making—I had been clinging to that invisible part of me in self-defense, subconsciously unwilling to let it go. Now I set it free, and my shield exploded a good fifty yards out from me effortlessly, taking only a fraction of my concentration. I could feel it flex like just another muscle, obedient to my will. I pushed it, shaped it to a long, pointed oval. Everything underneath the flexible iron shield was suddenly a part of me—I could feel the life force of everything it covered like points of bright heat, dazzling sparks of light surrounding me. I thrust the shield forward the length of the clearing, and exhaled in relief when I felt Edward’s brilliant light within my protection. I held there, contracting this new muscle so that it closely surrounded Edward, a thin but unbreakable sheet between his body and our enemies.

Great! No more training needed! When the time comes, she just subconsciously learns everything to instantly master a power that would take any other vampire decades!

quote:

Barely a second had passed. Edward was still walking to Aro. Everything had changed absolutely, but no one had noticed the explosion except for me. A startled laugh burst through my lips. I felt the others glancing at me and saw Jacob’s big black eye roll down to stare at me like I’d lost my mind.

That's because you've spent the last month looking on the verge of snapping.

quote:

Edward stopped a few steps away from Aro, and I realized with some chagrin that though I certainly could, I should not prevent this exchange from happening. This was the point of all our preparations: getting Aro to hear our side of the story. It was almost physically painful to do it, but reluctantly I pulled my shield back and left Edward exposed again. The laughing mood had vanished. I focused totally on Edward, ready to shield him instantly if something went wrong.

Bella is just great at nearly ruining everything, isn't she?

quote:

Edward’s chin came up arrogantly, and he held his hand out to Aro as if he were conferring a great honor. Aro seemed only delighted with his attitude, but his delight was not universal. Renata fluttered nervously in Aro’s shadow. Caius’s scowl was so deep it looked like his papery, translucent skin would crease permanently. Little Jane showed her teeth, and beside her Alec’s eyes narrowed in concentration. I guessed that he was ready, like me, to act at a second’s notice.



quote:

Aro closed the distance without pause—and really, what did he have to fear? The hulking shadows of the lighter gray cloaks—the brawny fighters like Felix—were but a few yards away. Jane and her burning gift could throw Edward on the ground, writhing in agony. Alec could blind and deafen him before he could take a step in Aro’s direction. No one knew that I had the power to stop them, not even Edward.

"Do you think any of these random vampires might have any powers that could work against us since they're apparently pretty common?"

"Nah."

quote:

With an untroubled smile, Aro took Edward’s hand. His eyes snapped shut at once, and then his shoulders hunched under the onslaught of information.

chitoryu12 fucked around with this message at 14:52 on Aug 12, 2020

chitoryu12
Apr 24, 2014

Reading some posts, I was reminded of my prior statements on how from Charlie’s perspective his daughter is an unstable mess in a crazy relationship with a creepy guy.

Something I completely forgot is that almost every single time she goes out to meet Edward somewhere or he goes to meet her, she comes back severely injured. Phoenix, her birthday party, camping in the woods. She keeps mysteriously coming back sliced up and coming up with increasingly bizarre stories about how it happened.

From Charlie’s point of view, what would you think if your daughter was coming back from seeing her boyfriend covered in knife slashes and bruises? Over and over?

Grammarchist
Jan 28, 2013

So now the Volturri decide to attack the Cullens because Aro just got a concentrated look at every sexual assault, dramatic outburst and exercise in tediousness in the series and has decided that everything associated with this situation is insufferable, immortal child or no.

Leng
May 13, 2006

One song / Glory
One song before I go / Glory
One song to leave behind


No other road
No other way
No day but today
Am I the only one creeped out that Aro will basically relive Renesmee's conception from Edward's perspective?

PetraCore
Jul 20, 2017

👁️🔥👁️👁️👁️BE NOT👄AFRAID👁️👁️👁️🔥👁️

Leng posted:

Am I the only one creeped out that Aro will basically relive Renesmee's conception from Edward's perspective?
Aro's also going to relive all of the sex Edward and Bella have been having. But, to be honest, he's definitely seen a lot of secondhand sex from use of his power so I doubt he lingers on it.

Shwoo
Jul 21, 2011

Bella freaking out and using her shield and then going "Oops, now's not the time" had better not be the only use it gets in the climax.

At least she's conscious for this one. So far.

Lord Zedd-Repulsa
Jul 21, 2007

Devour a good book.


This has all the tension of a pile of wet fireworks.

Mouzer
May 9, 2006
Feed the fish!

Lord Zedd-Repulsa posted:

This has all the tension of a pile of wet fireworks.

Pretty much my thoughts too

chitoryu12
Apr 24, 2014

Continuing to read Tumblr takes on the books, it's becoming increasingly apparent how much even random Internet folks can come up with more compelling and complex stories than Meyer.

Consider this alternate ending to New Moon: Bella waits for Jacob instead of impulsively jumping off the cliff. Alice can't see it happen, so Edward is never falsely informed of her suicide in a contrived manner. Bella and Jacob go back to her place, and Bella decides that she really can try to move on and start a relationship with Jacob instead.

But Edward stated later on that he was so close to a breakdown over abandoning Bella that he would have flown back to Forks to beg for forgiveness if she had just waited a little bit. Now he's coming back only to find that while Bella is still sad about their relationship ending, she's moved on. Now there's a legitimate "love triangle" that can be resolved rather than a diehard couple with a third guy occasionally sexually assaulting the woman until she convinces herself that she likes it.

chitoryu12
Apr 24, 2014

quote:

Every secret thought, every strategy, every insight—everything Edward had heard in the minds around him during the last month—was now Aro’s. And further back—every vision of Alice’s, every quiet moment with our family, every picture in Renesmee’s head, every kiss, every touch between Edward and me… All of that was Aro’s now, too.

He just got the entire Twilight saga blasted into his brain in full detail and that's such a fatal flaw of this power.

quote:

I hissed with frustration, and the shield roiled with my irritation, shifting its shape and contracting around our side.



Stephenie Meyer really had to stick with the "hissing vampires" trope that hard, huh?

quote:

“Easy, Bella,” Zafrina whispered to me.

I clenched my teeth together.

Aro continued to concentrate on Edward’s memories. Edward’s head bowed, too, the muscles in his neck locking tight as he read back again everything that Aro took from him, and Aro’s response to it all.

This two-way but unequal conversation continued long enough that even the guard grew uneasy. Low murmurs ran through the line until Caius barked a sharp order for silence. Jane was edging forward like she couldn’t help herself, and Renata’s face was rigid with distress. For a moment, I examined this powerful shield that seemed so panicky and weak; though she was useful to Aro, I could tell she was no warrior. It was not her job to fight but to protect. There was no bloodlust in her. Raw as I was, I knew that if this were between her and me, I would obliterate her.

You're not a warrior either, you freak! I'm hoping Stephenie Meyer just didn't consider how hard it is for a normal person to actually take a life, because if Bella is legitimately capable of casually murdering her enemies that would make her disturbingly sociopathic.

quote:

I refocused as Aro straightened, his eyes flashing open, their expression awed and wary. He did not release Edward’s hand. Edward’s muscles loosened ever so slightly.

“You see?” Edward asked, his velvet voice calm.

“Yes, I see, indeed,” Aro agreed, and amazingly, he sounded almost amused. “I doubt whether any two among gods or mortals have ever seen quite so clearly.”

Good thing you're neither, then?

quote:

The disciplined faces of the guard showed the same disbelief I felt.

“You have given me much to ponder, young friend,” Aro continued. “Much more than I expected.” Still he did not release Edward’s hand, and Edward’s tense stance was that of one who listens.

Edward didn’t answer.

“May I meet her?” Aro asked—almost pleaded—with sudden eager interest. “I never dreamed of the existence of such a thing in all my centuries. What an addition to our histories!”

“What is this about, Aro?” Caius snapped before Edward could answer. Just the question had me pulling Renesmee around into my arms, cradling her protectively against my chest.

I went back to the last chapter just to confirm. Bella still had Renesmee clinging to her back like a monkey when she was last mentioned. Bella just flipped her daughter around to her chest to get into the pose of motherhood.

quote:

“Something you’ve never dreamed of, my practical friend. Take a moment to ponder, for the justice we intended to deliver no longer applies.”

Caius, practical? He gets questions answered by randomly beating up witnesses!

Also, there's a ton of problems with this. We were supposed to believe that Aro was coming here purely to kidnap the talented Cullens, right? Edward can read his thoughts and determine instantly if anything he's doing is a trick. And his behavior so far isn't indicating that!

So far it looks like Meyer was unable to decide whether the ending would involve the Volturi trying to trick the Cullens and forcibly integrate them or if the Volturi really would be so wowed by the impossible perfection that is Renesmee that they'd leave, and it's visibly fluctuating back and forth like she edited it in without making enough changes to the rest of the text.

quote:

Caius hissed in surprise at his words.

Stop it!

quote:

“Peace, brother,” Aro cautioned soothingly.

This should have been good news—these were the words we’d been hoping for, the reprieve we’d never really thought possible. Aro had listened to the truth. Aro had admitted that the law had not been broken.

But my eyes were riveted on Edward, and I saw the muscles in his back tighten. I replayed in my head Aro’s instruction for Caius to ponder, and heard the double meaning.

Aro is still holding onto Edward's hand last time we heard, so if Aro is having thoughts of deception then not only is Edward hearing them, he's beaming all of that realization right back into Aro's head. They're in a loop where both of them know exactly what the other is thinking. If you're planning on tricking them to steal Renesmee or something, let go!

quote:

“Will you introduce me to your daughter?” Aro asked Edward again.

Caius was not the only one who hissed at this new revelation.

Jesus Christ.

quote:

Edward nodded reluctantly. And yet, Renesmee had won over so many others. Aro always seemed the leader of the ancients. If he were on her side, could the others act against us?

Aro still gripped Edward’s hand, and he now answered a question that the rest of us had not heard.

“I think a compromise on this one point is certainly acceptable, under the circumstance. We will meet in the middle.”

So as far as I can tell, Aro isn't secretly an evil mastermind at this point trying to steal all the pretty bauble vampires for himself. Edward would have said so, right?

So it would come off as really contrived to try and switch to that at the last second, right?

quote:

Aro released his hand. Edward turned back toward us, and Aro joined him, throwing one arm casually over Edward’s shoulder like they were the best of friends—all the while maintaining contact with Edward’s skin. They began to cross the field back to our side.

The entire guard fell into step behind them. Aro raised a hand negligently without looking at them.

“Hold, my dear ones. Truly, they mean us no harm if we are peaceable.”

So it's been established very strongly now:

1. Aro is actually open to learn the facts and negotiate like in his last appearance, rather than having come here on false pretenses for his own benefit.

2. Edward is still in contact with him, which means he can tell if Aro is lying and Aro would be aware in case Edward was suspicious of him. Neither of them are behaving like something is amiss.

3. Aro has confirmed to everyone that the Cullens have peaceful motives and that there's no threat.

There is absolutely no reason for a battle to occur now.

quote:

The guard reacted to this more openly than before, with snarls and hisses of protest, but held their position. Renata, clinging closer to Aro than ever, whimpered in anxiety.

“Master,” she whispered.

“Don’t fret, my love,” he responded. “All is well.”

Back in New Moon, we didn't see any of this weirdness. The way the guard was so disciplined to be in perfect formation upon arrival suggested that they would maintain that, but now they're acting like caged animals.

quote:

“Perhaps you should bring a few members of your guard with us,” Edward suggested. “It will make them more comfortable.”

This, right here, should prove how trusting Edward is with his ultimate knowledge. Nobody should realistically be afraid of the negotiations now.

quote:

Aro nodded as if this was a wise observation he should have thought of himself. He snapped his fingers twice. “Felix, Demetri.”

The two vampires were at his side instantaneously, looking precisely the same as the last time I’d met them. Both were tall and dark-haired, Demetri hard and lean as the blade of a sword, Felix hulking and menacing as an iron-spiked cudgel.

They even have the classic goon trope! Big guy and skinny guy!

quote:

The five of them stopped in the middle of the snowy field.

“Bella,” Edward called. “Bring Renesmee… and a few friends.”

I took a deep breath. My body was tight with opposition. The idea of taking Renesmee into the center of the conflict… But I trusted Edward. He would know if Aro was planning any treachery at this point.

Aro had three protectors on his side of the summit, so I would bring two with me. It took me only a second to decide. “

Jacob? Emmett?” I asked quietly. Emmett, because he would be dying to go. Jacob, because he wouldn’t be able to bear being left behind.

"And someone send the Romanians back to the house. They're making weird faces at the Volturi."

quote:

Both nodded. Emmett grinned.

I crossed the field with them flanking me. I heard another rumble from the guard as they saw my choices—clearly, they did not trust the werewolf. Aro lifted his hand, waving away their protest again.

“Interesting company you keep,” Demetri murmured to Edward.

So the Quileute are obviously unique to this area and their territory is exclusively Forks. You may be wondering why all the other vampires are stigmatizing the Cullens for associating with werewolves.

This is going to get answered soon, and I can assure you that you have no idea how dumb the reveal will be.

quote:

Edward didn’t respond, but a low growl slipped through Jacob’s teeth.

We stopped a few yards from Aro. Edward ducked under Aro’s arm and quickly joined us, taking my hand.

Like a girl leaving behind an awkward guy hitting on her at the bar to get back to her friends.

quote:

For a moment we faced each other in silence. Then Felix greeted me in a low aside.

“Hello again, Bella.” He grinned cockily while still tracking Jacob’s every twitch with his peripheral vision.

You can...see his peripheral vision focus?

quote:

I smiled wryly at the mountainous vampire. “Hey, Felix.”

Felix chuckled. “You look good. Immortality suits you.”

“Thanks so much.”

“You’re welcome. It’s too bad…” He let his comment trail off into silence, but I didn’t need Edward’s gift to imagine the end. It’s too bad we’re going to kill you in a sec.

“Yes, too bad, isn’t it?” I murmured.

Felix winked.

Now you see why I kept carefully listing all the reasons nobody should think that? We've got a ways to go!

quote:

Aro paid no attention to our exchange. He leaned his head to one side, fascinated. “I hear her strange heart,” he murmured with an almost musical lilt to his words. “I smell her strange scent.” Then his hazy eyes shifted to me. “In truth, young Bella, immortality does become you most extraordinarily,” he said. “It is as if you were designed for this life.”

It's like Meyer had a Mary Sue checklist to hit. The entire focus of the scene just gets shifted so more characters can praise how awesome and beautiful Bella is.

quote:

I nodded once in acknowledgment of his flattery.

“You liked my gift?” he asked, eyeing the pendant I wore.

“It’s beautiful, and very, very generous of you. Thank you. I probably should have sent a note.”

Yes, you could have notified them of everything earlier, couldn't you?

quote:

Aro laughed delightedly. “It’s just a little something I had lying around. I thought it might complement your new face, and so it does.”

I heard a little hiss from the center of the Volturi line. I glanced over Aro’s shoulder.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ClwIj3x24Q4

This is basically what the field sounds like.

quote:

Hmm. It seemed Jane wasn’t happy about the fact that Aro had given me a present.

Do you have a crush or something?

quote:

Aro cleared his throat to reclaim my attention. “May I greet your daughter, lovely Bella?” he asked sweetly.

This was what we’d hoped for, I reminded myself. Fighting the urge to take Renesmee and run for it, I walked two slow steps forward. My shield rippled out behind me like a cape, protecting the rest of my family while Renesmee was left exposed. It felt wrong, horrible.

She's instinctively trying to create conflict out of nothing and drag the book on longer!

quote:

Aro met us, his face beaming.

“But she’s exquisite,” he murmured. “So like you and Edward.” And then louder, “Hello, Renesmee.”

Renesmee looked at me quickly. I nodded.

“Hello, Aro,” she answered formally in her high, ringing voice.

Good thing she's not in her "Oooo, pretty colors mommy!" mood.

quote:

Aro’s eyes were bemused.

“What is it?” Caius hissed from behind. He seemed infuriated by the need to ask.

I'm going to assume another Forever Dawn continuity error because this is nothing like how Caius used to be.

quote:

“Half mortal, half immortal,” Aro announced to him and the rest of the guard without turning his enthralled gaze from Renesmee. “Conceived so, and carried by this newborn while she was still human.”

“Impossible,” Caius scoffed.

“Do you think they’ve fooled me, then, brother?” Aro’s expression was greatly amused, but Caius flinched. “Is the heartbeat you hear a trickery as well?”

Caius scowled, looking as chagrined as if Aro’s gentle questions had been blows.

"Chagrin" just gives me a visceral reaction of disgust now.

quote:

“Calmly and carefully, brother,” Aro cautioned, still smiling at Renesmee. “I know well how you love your justice, but there is no justice in acting against this unique little one for her parentage. And so much to learn, so much to learn! I know you don’t have my enthusiasm for collecting histories, but be tolerant with me, brother, as I add a chapter that stuns me with its improbability. We came expecting only justice and the sadness of false friends, but look what we have gained instead! A new, bright knowledge of ourselves, our possibilities.”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WqBkBxJy470

quote:

He held out his hand to Renesmee in invitation. But this was not what she wanted. She leaned away from me, stretching upward, to touch her fingertips to Aro’s face.

Ah, the Pose of Purity.

quote:

Aro did not react with shock as almost everyone else had reacted to this performance from Renesmee; he was as used to the flow of thought and memory from other minds as Edward was.

His smile widened, and he sighed in satisfaction. “Brilliant,” he whispered.

Renesmee relaxed back into my arms, her little face very serious.

“Please?” she asked him.

His smile turned gentle. “Of course I have no desire to harm your loved ones, precious Renesmee.”

Aro’s voice was so comforting and affectionate, it took me in for a second. And then I heard Edward’s teeth grind together and, far behind us, Maggie’s outraged hiss at the lie.

This is literally the only reason for Maggie to be present. Edward's power, which is normally infallible, has somehow failed him in the climax.

quote:

“I wonder,” Aro said thoughtfully, seeming unaware of the reaction to his previous words. His eyes moved unexpectedly to Jacob, and instead of the disgust the other Volturi viewed the giant wolf with, Aro’s eyes were filled with a longing that I did not comprehend.

Oh my God, he's a loving furry!

quote:

“It doesn’t work that way,” Edward said, the careful neutrality gone from his suddenly harsh tone.

“Just an errant thought,” Aro said, appraising Jacob openly, and then his eyes moved slowly across the two lines of werewolves behind us. Whatever Renesmee had shown him, it made the wolves suddenly interesting to him.

“They don’t belong to us, Aro. They don’t follow our commands that way. They’re here because they want to be.”

Yeah, all those young children who suddenly turned into giant wolves with a hive mind are here out of the kindness of their hearts!

quote:

Jacob growled menacingly.

“They seem quite attached to you, though,” Aro said. “And your young mate and your… family. Loyal.” His voice caressed the word softly.

I think this is why Meyer writes as if Bella has a preternatural ability to understand everyone's intentions and emotions at all times. Without the hand-holding, the writing can be so opaque as to be incomprehensible.

quote:

“They’re committed to protecting human life, Aro. That makes them able to coexist with us, but hardly with you. Unless you’re rethinking your lifestyle.”

Aro laughed merrily. “Just an errant thought,” he repeated. “You well know how that is. We none of us can entirely control our subconscious desires.”

Guys my mom called, she says I have to come home immediately.

quote:

Edward grimaced. “I do know how that is. And I also know the difference between that kind of thought and the kind with a purpose behind it. It could never work, Aro.”

Jacob’s vast head turned in Edward’s direction, and a faint whine slipped from between his teeth.

“He’s intrigued with the idea of… guard dogs,” Edward murmured back.

There was one second of dead silence, and then the sound of the furious snarls ripping from the entire pack filled the giant clearing.

That's what you're using them for, though?

quote:

There was a sharp bark of command—from Sam, I guessed, though I didn’t turn to look—and the complaint broke off into ominous quiet.

“I suppose that answers that question,” Aro said, laughing again. “This lot has picked its side.”

Edward hissed and leaned forward. I clutched at his arm, wondering what could be in Aro’s thoughts that would make him react so violently, while Felix and Demetri slipped into crouches in synchronization. Aro waved them off again. They all returned to their former posture, Edward included.

Did everyone practice their battle poses?

quote:

“So much to discuss,” Aro said, his tone suddenly that of an inundated businessman. “So much to decide. If you and your furry protector will excuse me, my dear Cullens, I must confer with my brothers.”

chitoryu12 fucked around with this message at 21:52 on Aug 13, 2020

Midjack
Dec 24, 2007



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zI7cNhTIOEI

hyperhazard
Dec 4, 2011

I am the one lascivious
With magic potion niveous

chitoryu12 posted:

I think this is why Meyer writes as if Bella has a preternatural ability to understand everyone's intentions and emotions at all times. Without the hand-holding, the writing can be so opaque as to be incomprehensible.

No joke, I had to read this section with Aro and Renesmee 3 times to figure out what action had taken place. It's all kind of vague and purple-prosey.

"She leaned away from me, stretching upward, to touch her fingertips to Aro’s face. Aro did not react with shock as almost everyone else had reacted to this performance from Renesmee; he was as used to the flow of thought and memory from other minds as Edward was."

vs

"She stretched her arm upward, touching her fingertips to Aro's face. Aro did not react with shock to the images she showed him; he was used to seeing the minds of others."

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chitoryu12
Apr 24, 2014

hyperhazard posted:

No joke, I had to read this section with Aro and Renesmee 3 times to figure out what action had taken place. It's all kind of vague and purple-prosey.

"She leaned away from me, stretching upward, to touch her fingertips to Aro’s face. Aro did not react with shock as almost everyone else had reacted to this performance from Renesmee; he was as used to the flow of thought and memory from other minds as Edward was."

vs

"She stretched her arm upward, touching her fingertips to Aro's face. Aro did not react with shock to the images she showed him; he was used to seeing the minds of others."

And it's not like Aro would be reacting in shock even if he wasn't used to it, because he just read the mind of Edward and thus the entire Twilight saga except for Bella's exclusive part. He's already seen what Renesmee's power is, whereas every previous vampire had Edward playing coy and doing a dramatic "Five Mysterious Cullen Facts! Number Two Will Shock You!" reveal where he just has his daughter loving grab your cheeks and blast your brain with imagery. He's lucky she seems to have a supernatural ability to make everyone believe everything she transmits, or else at least one of them could have freaked out enough to start punching.

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