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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_3mnuelIhJg
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Aug 9, 2020 16:07
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Pump Jockey posted:I never get the chocolate cravings, instead I become a ravenous monster for anything salty and bloat up like a seal. It’s not uncommon for me to gain as much as 10-15 pounds of bloat and spend the entire last day of my period on the toilet pissing it all out. Oof. Yeah, salt was (still is) a problem for me. I did figure out that if I just had very very tiny amounts of straight-up salt, then the cravings would back off. I used to joke about getting one of those salt licks with added nutrients for my purse. These days, I've been swinging between dumping a container of salt all over a single egg or complaining that the brand of salted butter that I have been eating for years is waaay too salty.
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Aug 9, 2020 17:10
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Me again. posted:A few months ago I was having an unusually light flow during one cycle. On day 3, I seemed to have completely dried up, yet I was cramping strongly in a way that I find correlates with a big old clot getting ready to pass. I took a poo poo to get things moving again. Afterwards everything was normal again except I had incredible cravings to eat ice. I found out that this can be a sign of iron deficiency and started taking iron supplements, which cleared that right up and also helped a lot with my restless leg syndrome. My only other story was about having an ovarian cyst that made my cooch feel like there was a cactus shoved up in there. I remember the exact moment the pain stopped and it was so wonderful I wanted to cry with relief. Ralph Crammed In posted:I never used to get PMS at all until after I had my son and now there's a day or so a week before my period where I just cannot deal with my husband's stupid thoughtlessness about just leaving dishes and poo poo all over the house like I don't have better things to do with my time than put the goddamned mayonnaise back in the fridge that he took out. I usually don't give a poo poo and get them whenever I do one of my multiple daily cleaning sessions to but fuuuuuuck when those hormones hit do I tell him exactly how pissed I get that he just leaves his dirty poo poo everywhere for me to clean up like I'm a bus boy.
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Aug 9, 2020 17:33
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I know a gal you can determine where she is in her cycle by her protein choices which wax and wane between "tofu is amazing, plants forever" about 3 days after she finishes and goes through a spectrum of harder and harder proteins until it becomes "give me the meat, torn from the still living flesh of the cow, and let me drink its blood" during.
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Aug 9, 2020 17:49
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trickybiscuits posted:I got mad on your behalf just reading this because that is some bullshit. Seriously. On the subject at hand, as much as bleeding roughly every month is no fun, not getting your period in a predictable manner when you're trying to make use of your uterus sucks. I've been trying to get pregnant for a year with no luck. Posted this in the getting knocked up thread but since my husband and I are both lucky enough to be working from home I was hoping we'd be able to get it on more. We could, except four months ago my cycle decided it wanted to go from being relatively regularish (or at least ovulation was detectable with pee sticks) to who the gently caress knows. My last cycle was 58 days and this cycle is on day 62 with no sign of blood. And of course because of pandemic and me switching doctors the earliest I can get in is late September. Nthing the menstrual cup recommendations though. I started using them like 9 years ago thanks to a thread in a/t. I like the meluna soft but it's not FDA approved so I had to import it from Germany. Their regular and sport versions you can buy from their US store now (for the Americans out there).
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Aug 9, 2020 17:51
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I'm a bit out of sorts at the moment. I'm having a woman's period.
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Aug 9, 2020 18:04
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https://twitter.com/coochieflop/status/1292176047283277828?s=19 Also "diva cup" sounds like the name of the cup Reese Witherspoon has in Legally Blonde 2
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Aug 9, 2020 18:08
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Actually men are menstruating full-time non-stop 24/7 with the internals pushed out from and through their ball-ovaries, prostates and seminal vesicles. That explains their aggressive nature. Women are angry like that only for quarter of time. Fight me (when you're on your period).
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Aug 9, 2020 18:42
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Turrurrurrurrrrrrr posted:Actually men are menstruating full-time non-stop 24/7 with the internals pushed out from and through their ball-ovaries, prostates and seminal vesicles. That explains their aggressive nature. Women are angry like that only for quarter of time. is that your blood, or mine?
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Aug 9, 2020 19:07
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The crackling rage is stored in the balls
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Aug 9, 2020 19:20
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Let's discuss balls next, they are also quite unsavory
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Aug 9, 2020 19:23
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Balls are great.
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Aug 9, 2020 19:28
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Spinz posted:Let's discuss balls next, they are also quite unsavory the first time a woman cradled my balls she had a look of wonder in her eyes, then said 'i want to crush them' very earnestly.
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Aug 9, 2020 19:30
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They smell vaguely bad no matter how clean the guy is, like musty musky and I want to pop-squeeze them back and forth into each other's sac but NOOOOOOOO
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Aug 9, 2020 19:34
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Spinz posted:They smell vaguely bad no matter how clean the guy is, like musty musky and I want to pop-squeeze them back and forth into each other's sac but NOOOOOOOO i'm having flashbacks please stop this violence
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Aug 9, 2020 19:35
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Spinz posted:They smell vaguely bad no matter how clean the guy is, like musty musky and I want to pop-squeeze them back and forth into each other's sac but NOOOOOOOO This is bait.
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Aug 9, 2020 19:39
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Spinz posted:They smell vaguely bad no matter how clean the guy is, like musty musky and I want to pop-squeeze them back and forth into each other's sac but NOOOOOOOO I basically want to do this  E: in the Jareth costume as well. the codpiece stays ON
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Aug 9, 2020 19:50
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balls can be kind of fun to roll around in your fingers but I'd much prefer to have all my organs inside of my body where they belong
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Aug 9, 2020 19:50
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Crusty Nutsack posted:balls can be kind of fun to roll around in your fingers but I'd much prefer to have all my organs inside of my body where they belong spoken like someone who's never prolapsed their rectum.
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Aug 9, 2020 19:59
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Crusty Nutsack posted:balls can be kind of fun to roll around in your fingers but I'd much prefer to have all my organs inside of my body where they belong It's fun to have the major source of your hormones and sexual desire swinging freely from your body.
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Aug 9, 2020 20:06
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Strumpie posted:spoken like someone who's never prolapsed their rectum. or uterus!
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Aug 9, 2020 20:08
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Zero interest in balls.
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Aug 9, 2020 20:08
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Prism Mirror Lens posted:I’ve basically been immobilised for two days because my legs hurt so much. There is not a single thing I like about being female and periods really are the poo poo icing on the poo poo cake if my (painkiller-assisted) periods were anything more than a light flow that just makes me feel tired and like I'm coming down with something for a day or two each month, I'm sure I would have the entire thing removed and just go on testosterone I'd also like a dick but I think internal 'nads are the way to go, tbh
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Aug 9, 2020 20:17
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i got prostatitis twice a few years ago which lasted for a month each time that i imagine is about as close men get to periods. it was awful and I'm really not looking forward to being an old man when it becomes a regular thing
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Aug 9, 2020 20:48
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xcheopis posted:Zero interest in balls. Rats, cancelling the subscription to Balls Magazine I was planning to gift you.
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Aug 9, 2020 20:48
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Balls are the opposite of the old adage about insurance: 99% of the time you forget they're there but that 1% of the time when you're reminded they exist, you wish you never had them. Also, balls are like taking a puppy for a walk. They get excited at the dumbest things, pull you to inspect anything remotely attractive, and basically shout "Come play with me!" at all times, even if you just did 5 minutes ago. My one ball story: I inadvertently had a vasectomy without anesthesia. It was unpleasant.
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Aug 9, 2020 22:42
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Can we get off balls and dive back into vaginas in the period thread? Good period things: get out of things if the person in charge (teacher, boss, coach, Dom) is a dude. Bad period things: having to walk around with a full pad in the summer. Just terrible. Real bad stuff.
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Aug 9, 2020 22:46
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Waterbed Wendy posted:Can we get off balls and dive back into vaginas in the period thread? How often have you told a dude you're on your period when you weren't actually on your period?
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Aug 9, 2020 22:51
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At least 1000
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Aug 9, 2020 22:52
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Waterbed Wendy posted:At least 1000 Idk where your username comes from but it's fun to say
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Aug 9, 2020 22:59
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Jose posted:Idk where your username comes from but it's fun to say Name change thread a few years ago. It is fun to say, I got lucky. https://twitter.com/nonfatmilky/status/1292300338377220098?s=19
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Aug 9, 2020 22:59
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Lmao
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Aug 9, 2020 23:00
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Actually there is one sorta good thing about periods: doing a period poop so massive and wondrous that you feel all the pain leaving your body as if god himself is giving you a rectal massage
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Aug 9, 2020 23:02
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Prism Mirror Lens posted:Actually there is one sorta good thing about periods: doing a period poop so massive and wondrous that you feel all the pain leaving your body as if god himself is giving you a rectal massage wait hold on a second you get to poop too??? i thought that was a man thing.
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Aug 9, 2020 23:12
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Prism Mirror Lens posted:Actually there is one sorta good thing about periods: doing a period poop so massive and wondrous that you feel all the pain leaving your body as if god himself is giving you a rectal massage Also useful for those occasional bouts of constipation. Maybe we can rebrand!
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Aug 9, 2020 23:13
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Period poops or cryarreah
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Aug 9, 2020 23:15
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My period poops are never fun, I want fun poops  I always know when my period is coming because my guts start feeling swollen and gross and my GI tract becomes universally upset
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Aug 10, 2020 00:34
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The first day of my period is always spent shuffling between sitting under the shower and sitting on the toilet. The constipation is real but once you get over the hump so to speak the relief is incredible. I wonder if there's a connection between period paid and making GBS threads.
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Aug 10, 2020 01:53
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DemonDarkhorse posted:when i was in high school this actually happened to me, but it was april. it was like a normal period, just lasted a month. not sure how i didnt die of blood loss tbh, that was the height of my depression where i was living on popsicles and toast. Menstrual fluid is mostly not blood. There's liquified uterine lining, anticoagulant, mucus, and various goos. The viscosity and texture is way different than blood. Your circulatory system doesn't straight up dump perfectly good blood into your uterus for no good reason. That would be hemorrhaging, not menstruating.
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Aug 10, 2020 04:24
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What's up with that U in menstruating? Seems like if you pronounce the U it adds a pointless extra syllable. If you don't pronounce it, what's it even doing there?
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Aug 10, 2020 04:25
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