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rydiafan posted:And, again, you're ignoring the very reasonable option where he got it on with someone before he was hosed up, wrinkly, and 80. I addressed that. They showed Rey's father, the actor was in his 20s and would need to be in his 40s or 50s. It's hypothetically possible he just aged really gracefully, but that's more hoops to jump through when they already just said he was a clone. SneezeOfTheDecade posted:Revenge of the Sith is set 19 years before A New Hope; The Force Awakens is set 30 years after Return of the Jedi, or 34 years after A New Hope. Rey is 19 in The Force Awakens, putting her birth 15 years after A New Hope. If Palpatine - who was 63 in Revenge - hosed before he was revealed to be Darth Sidious (and thereby gained his scarring), his child would have been at least 34 years old when Rey was born, and (hopefully) no more than 79. Completely reasonable. I mean except they showed him and he wasn't that old. The actor's only 30 now.
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Aug 13, 2020 17:22
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The hell is even the point of taking over the whole galaxy if you aren't going to bone down.
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Aug 13, 2020 17:31
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John Murdoch posted:If only there was some way for Palpatine to sire a child without having to bump uglies with somebody... Like, I dunno, use the force or something? Just spitballing here haha. Space magic and laser space swords I can accept, but if you're going to suggest some kind of fantastical nonsense like some kind of medical space procedure wherein an egg is fertilized by sperm in a space test tube or elsewhere outside the body I don't think you really understand the difference between science-fiction (which Star Wars is) and some kind of Fantasy Space Opera (which Star Wars definitely isn't)
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Aug 13, 2020 17:37
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christmas boots posted:Space magic and laser space swords I can accept, but if you're going to suggest some kind of fantastical nonsense like some kind of medical space procedure wherein an egg is fertilized by sperm in a space test tube or elsewhere outside the body I don't think you really understand the difference between science-fiction (which Star Wars is) and some kind of Fantasy Space Opera (which Star Wars definitely isn't) In Revenge of the Sith none of the Space Doctors or Space Wizards can tell that a woman is pregnant with twins.
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Aug 13, 2020 18:21
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Rascar Capac posted:In Revenge of the Sith none of the Space Doctors or Space Wizards can tell that a woman is pregnant with twins. That woman should sue for Space Malpractice, then.
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Aug 13, 2020 18:33
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Rascar Capac posted:In Revenge of the Sith none of the Space Doctors or Space Wizards can tell that a woman is pregnant with twins. They also claimed that the cause of death was a broken heart so I’m thinking maybe all the good space doctors got purged with the whole order 66 thing
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Aug 13, 2020 19:04
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Star Wars is a very old universe that has been stagnated for a very long time, people remember how to build hyperspace drives but they have no idea how they work anymore. It's like if we knew how to build cars and how to refine oil into gasoline but we had forgotten as a civilization what chemistry is or how it works, we just know if we do it this way it seems to make go now. Similarly, they probably know how to build bacta tanks that heal people but have no loving idea why it works or how the human body is put together.
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Aug 13, 2020 19:15
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PALPATINE SEX
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Aug 13, 2020 19:28
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Sheev Palpatine, like all politicians, hosed. And Star Wars "fans" can't handle it. Even before episode one starts he's a senator for a mega-rich resort planet. Clone nonsense from 40 year old cash grab tie-in novels is easier to understand to some people than the fact the guy's got serious game.
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Aug 13, 2020 19:33
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Baron von Eevl posted:I addressed that. They showed Rey's father, the actor was in his 20s and would need to be in his 40s or 50s. It's hypothetically possible he just aged really gracefully, but that's more hoops to jump through when they already just said he was a clone. Whether the official explanation is clone or not, your insistence prior to learning that was that it was literally impossible for Palpatine to have a biological child the right age range as Rey's parents was wrong. I was disputing that claim. I'm unclear why you're so resistant to the concept that a normal looking man, who was charismatic enough to talk a Jedi into slaughtering children, and has the most power of anyone in the known galaxy was able to get his dick wet. rydiafan has a new favorite as of 19:45 on Aug 13, 2020 |
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Aug 13, 2020 19:42
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It also changes nothing. Even if Rey's father is a clone of Palpatine, Rey cannot be born unless Palpatine fucks.
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Aug 13, 2020 19:47
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Wasabi the J posted:PALPATINE SEX Unlimited nut
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Aug 13, 2020 19:52
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I just realized I never actually finished the last SW movie. Huh.
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Aug 13, 2020 20:01
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Decrepus posted:Unlimited nut Did you ever watch the Tragedy of Darth PlaXXXs the Wise? I thought not. It's not a porno the Jedi would show you
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Aug 13, 2020 20:07
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rydiafan posted:Whether the official explanation is clone or not, your insistence prior to learning that was that it was literally impossible for Palpatine to have a biological child the right age range as Rey's parents was wrong. I was disputing that claim. Baron von Eevl posted:They showed Rey's father, the actor was in his 20s and would need to be in his 40s or 50s. I don't think it's literally impossible, I think it's a better explanation that he had a clone that ran off, in the franchise that's even had a movie about how much Palpatine is into the idea of clones. I said the explanation that the book provided is better, if you disagree okay but don't act like it's some wild hair brained thing to think instead of either a septuagenarian who's never shown any sexual drive on camera or a loving shambling cloaked wraith having a biological kid. Either is possible! I just think it's dumb! Baron von Eevl has a new favorite as of 21:12 on Aug 13, 2020 |
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Aug 13, 2020 21:09
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Baron von Eevl posted:I addressed that. They showed Rey's father, the actor was in his 20s and would need to be in his 40s or 50s. It's hypothetically possible he just aged really gracefully, but that's more hoops to jump through when they already just said he was a clone. Ian McDiarmid was 38 when he played the 87-year-old Emperor Palpatine in Return of the Jedi, Sebastian Shaw was 77 when he played the 46-year-old Vader at the end of the same movie, and Mark Hamill was 25-6 playing the 19-year-old Luke in ANH. Age-appropriate casting has never been Star Wars's strong point.  But okay, you just think it's dumb, not impossible, and that's fine!
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Aug 13, 2020 21:22
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Decrepus posted:Unlimited nut Is it possible to learn this power?
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Aug 13, 2020 21:30
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Baron von Eevl posted:I don't think it's literally impossible, I think it's a better explanation that he had a clone that ran off, in the franchise that's even had a movie about how much Palpatine is into the idea of clones. I said the explanation that the book provided is better, if you disagree okay but don't act like it's some wild hair brained thing to think instead of either a septuagenarian who's never shown any sexual drive on camera or a loving shambling cloaked wraith having a biological kid. Either is possible! I just think it's dumb! Palpatine cums seven times a day and there's not a goddamn thing you can do about it
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Aug 13, 2020 21:36
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SneezeOfTheDecade posted:Ian McDiarmid was 38 when he played the 87-year-old Emperor Palpatine in Return of the Jedi Not arguing about it but to be fair there were some prosthetics involved with that performance. I mean Frank Oz wasn't several hundred years old either. edit AS FAR AS WE KNOW christmas boots posted:Palpatine cums seven times a day and there's not a goddamn thing you can do about it this is me irl rn 
Baron von Eevl has a new favorite as of 21:42 on Aug 13, 2020 |
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Aug 13, 2020 21:39
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Baron von Eevl posted:Similarly, they probably know how to build bacta tanks that heal people but have no loving idea why it works or how the human body is put together. They run with that in the novels multiple times - being allergic to bacta is a huge liability because that's 90% of medical treatment in star wars, with cybernetic replacements being the other 10%
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Aug 13, 2020 21:40
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There was simply no need to recycle the overarching villain of six prior movies as the capstone for an unrelated trilogy. Of course there was a need to have shared writers and creatives for said trilogy, something which is easily achievable by a multi-billion dollar corporation. In the end we got an incestuous pile of derivative wank that's less bang for your buck than Tom Hooper's CATS.
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Aug 13, 2020 21:47
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Whatever you think about it, it was hardly an "unrelated" trilogy wtf This was the end of the Skywalker saga, and palpy was there beginning to end
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Aug 13, 2020 22:54
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Baron von Eevl posted:Star Wars is a very old universe that has been stagnated for a very long time I was 10 when A New Hope came out and even back then I never got the obsession with it. I think I was more a monster movie, horror movie and D&D/sowd and socrcery nerd. I mean, I liked it but never felt inspired by it and preferred JAWS, King Kong, Godzilla, Planet of the Apes, The Hobbit and TV shows like The Incredible Hulk, Six Million Dollar Man and toys like Evel Knievel and poo poo. Not sure why since I am obviously in the minority and SW stokes so much discussion here. The original first 2 movies are the only ones I've ever really liked tbh. Never cared for Star Trek much either. I'd say I just don't like outer space science fiction but I love the Alien movies, 2001, ET and Starship Troopers and what have you so I don't think it's that. I hate when SW comes up because I know I have to skim past 2 pages every time it does. I realize no one cares wtf I think but I'm postin anyways.
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Aug 13, 2020 23:09
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The Bloop posted:Whatever you think about it, it was hardly an "unrelated" trilogy wtf Sounds more like the Palpatine saga.
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Aug 13, 2020 23:10
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BiggerBoat posted:preferred JAWS, You don't say.
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Aug 13, 2020 23:13
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LIVE AMMO COSPLAY posted:Sounds more like the Palpatine saga. Sure sure, same force/ dark side coin
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Aug 14, 2020 00:19
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Maybe I am missing something, or am just looking at the issue in a pointlessly "grimdark" way. But Palpatine is an evil space wizard. Evil being the operative word. So maybe he doesn't gently caress, maybe he raped Rey's grandmother. Or ever so slightly less bad, maybe he Jedi-Mind-Tricked her into having sex with him and bearing his evil space midi chlorian riddled seed. And my irrationally irritating moment re: the Stallone Dredd, is that they had the Angel Family, but didn't use Mean Machine. I mean you have the budget for the stupid robot thing Armand Assante uses at the end, but you cant throw a little cash to make a Mean Machine Angel prosthetic?
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Aug 14, 2020 03:48
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BrigadierSensible posted:And my irrationally irritating moment re: the Stallone Dredd, is that they had the Angel Family, but didn't use Mean Machine. I mean you have the budget for the stupid robot thing Armand Assante uses at the end, but you cant throw a little cash to make a Mean Machine Angel prosthetic? What are you taking about? Mean Machine is in it.
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Aug 14, 2020 03:57
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Mean Machine is in the movie?  Also pretty sure I complained a while back in this thread about how the other Angel family members are alive so clearly the Judge Child story arc hasn't happened but Mean Machine is still missing his other arm.
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Aug 14, 2020 03:57
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rydiafan posted:What are you taking about? Mean Machine is in it. muscles like this! posted:Mean Machine is in the movie? Whoops. I haven't seen the film for years. I am provably wrong. All I remembered was a half arsed hillbilly family that I thought was supposed to represent the Angels. I must have misremembered. Sorry.
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Aug 14, 2020 04:00
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In Nothing But Trouble I don't believe the judge really respected people's right to due process. Also his nose was a little penis.
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Aug 14, 2020 04:05
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Push El Burrito posted:In Nothing But Trouble I don't believe the judge really respected people's right to due process. Not irritating per se but it's amazing how that movie came to be. Dan Aykroyd has some crazy ideas but he needs somebody to help edit his ideas down to something manageable.
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Aug 14, 2020 04:14
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Android Apocalypse posted:Not irritating per se but it's amazing how that movie came to be. Dan Aykroyd has some crazy ideas but he needs somebody to help edit his ideas down to something manageable. It was also the film debut of Tupac.
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Aug 14, 2020 04:17
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It's funny that waaay back in 2008 Step Brothers has a character quoting Scarface to make them look lovely and unfunny, then Ghostbusters '16 does it completely unironically to make the hero sound badass.
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Aug 14, 2020 06:59
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Thinking about Jedi and Sith babies, in 2020 they'd probably do gender reveals with pink and blue light sabers and they'd give their babies trendy names with Y's in place of other vowels...like Qyi-Gyn-Jynn. christmas boots posted:Palpatine cums seven times a day and there's not a goddamn thing you can do about it Palpatine is floating in one of those medical vats, but it's all just Force jizz.
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Aug 14, 2020 07:05
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Baron von Eevl posted:Star Wars is a very old universe that has been stagnated for a very long time, people remember how to build hyperspace drives but they have no idea how they work anymore. It's like if we knew how to build cars and how to refine oil into gasoline but we had forgotten as a civilization what chemistry is or how it works, we just know if we do it this way it seems to make go now. Similarly, they probably know how to build bacta tanks that heal people but have no loving idea why it works or how the human body is put together. This was better when Warhammer did it
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Aug 14, 2020 07:11
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Baron von Eevl posted:Star Wars is a very old universe that has been stagnated for a very long time, people remember how to build hyperspace drives but they have no idea how they work anymore. It’s like if we knew how to build cars and how to refine oil into gasoline but we had forgotten as a civilization what chemistry is or how it works, we just know if we do it this way it seems to make go now. Similarly, they probably know how to build bacta tanks that heal people but have no loving idea why it works or how the human body is put together.
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Aug 14, 2020 10:26
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jojoinnit posted:So Mad Max? Yeah but in space.
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Aug 14, 2020 15:12
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Krispy Wafer posted:Thinking about Jedi and Sith babies, in 2020 they'd probably do gender reveals with pink and blue light sabers and they'd give their babies trendy names with Y's in place of other vowels...like Qyi-Gyn-Jynn. Jedis in modern society would absolutely be Whole Foods liberals And when you're at that gender reveal party you'd have to listen politely to the mom as she explains how a crystal extracted from the holiest cave of the most far-flung moon in the galaxy completely cured her little Annakyn's autism
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Aug 14, 2020 18:00
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Barry Bluejeans posted:Jedis in modern society would absolutely be Whole Foods liberals I mean, if you use the crystal the right way, in the right tool, it’ll cure anything. 
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Aug 14, 2020 18:44
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