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All lovely fantasy started as horny star trek fanfic and no one can convince me otherwise
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Aug 22, 2020 20:45
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Dragons of the Summer Flame was an okay book with baddies actually learning from their previous mistakes. The ending was incredibly bad, tho.
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Aug 22, 2020 20:47
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Bismuth posted:All lovely fantasy started as horny star trek fanfic and no one can convince me otherwise Oh, gently caress.  
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Aug 22, 2020 20:50
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nobody told those coulda-beens to masturbate BEFORE you go full horny ghoul with your lovely D&D game book
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Aug 22, 2020 21:10
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Empty Sandwich posted:Alas, there is no evidence for the validity of this statement anywhere in the novels. Don't you get it? Tanis had a relationship with both Laurana and Kitiara, which makes him a disgusting manwhore just like Kirk. - a mormon
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Aug 22, 2020 21:57
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Arzakon posted:Don't you get it? Tanis had a relationship with both Laurana and Kitiara, which makes him a disgusting manwhore just like Kirk. - a mormon [a joke where I just say "polygamy"]
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Aug 22, 2020 22:11
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Galewolf posted:I must be mistaking CHoE with something else than. Didn't that book had artwork of goat demons with penises dancing with naked nuns? I...believe you are, indeed, mistaking it for something else. CHoE is the dead serious Wraith book covering the Holocaust, and the legacy it left on the Underworld.
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Aug 22, 2020 22:51
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Railroading The rest of these posts are just me grousing about mediocrity. Here's where things get... poo poo, very much more nerdy. Old-school D&D, as conceived by Gygax and (more goddamn importantly) Arneson was in some sense a battle of wits against the DM. One is trying to figure out the right answers, or the rightest answers, in a sea of problems and fights. I'm not valorizing that style of play. I'm not that old or that grumpy. The 2nd edition thing of role-playing meaning playing a role? That seems solid. Here's the loving problem. Choose Your Own Adventure books had more choice in your own adventure. You can do the thing, but Flint is still gonna have an idiotic heart attack. Feed him all the oatmeal you want. Sturm is still going to die however the gently caress he died that I don't care about. You cannot as a player affect certain things that happen. On the one hand, sure. Stop trying to literally steal the sun, you idiot goddamn loving kender. On the other hand, what's the point, if one's actions have no repercussions in the narrative? I don't want to ride a theme park ride where I'm next to Raistlin as he figures out how to be a god. I want to help him. Or hinder him. Or kick Tasselhoff Burrfoot in the nuts until he has to go to a convalescent home for wayward kender (it's all of them). I don't want my player choices to be limited by what happened in two bad writers' campaign a couple years ago. Maybe grousing about it is worse. Maybe I should just not buy it. I didn't, but the repercussions went on for a while. (By "repercussions," I mean that official adventures were more boring. Stakes are so low here as to be nonexistent. It's worse than academic debates.)
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Aug 22, 2020 23:58
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Xenocides posted:
this book owned so loving hard. it was like the author was just pointing at all the dragonlance tropes and observing how utterly idiotic it all was while also applying all those same tropes to tell the story I wish I'd gotten into discworld instead of dragonlance as a younger man, that poo poo's brilliant
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Aug 23, 2020 00:17
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Empty Sandwich posted:Railroading yeah railroading is a hell of a topic for a GM to tackle, and the old consensus among angry control-freak nerds was "I am God and you play in MY sandbox, peons" When I design and run my adventures, I follow what I call the Skeleton System - first, I create the skeleton of the game and the entire plot, start to end. I think of who the important NPCs are, how the plot begins, plays out, and then ends. As best as I can think it all through. THEN. Then. You introduce the PCs. THEIR job is to absolutely maul the skeletal system I set up, by way of laying on the 'muscle' in the form of their actions changing the plot and expanding it. I may have originally planned, in a timeline plot undisturbed by the players, for Tanis to die at a certain point or get a kidney stone. I then change and adapt that set-in-stone bone by reacting to what the players do. You treat the players like they're stumbling into a planned-out timeline, and they're here to gently caress it up. In this way, you follow a general outline, but it can constantly change, shift, and adapt to what unforeseen ideas the players have, while still maintaining a mostly cohesive start-middle-end trajectory. Worked amazing for a 7-year game I ran. You start with a skeleton and end with a full body that you AND the players built together. It's worth it if you can choke down your ego to allow things to go wildly different than how you planned. It becomes a game of act-react, constant adaptation and shifts.
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Aug 23, 2020 00:53
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I've got a question about these orc stand in draconians. They're created from dragon eggs, right? Do dragons lay eggs like fish, just like thousands of eggs all over the show?
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Aug 23, 2020 01:01
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Unless fertilized by devout good dragon in a holy matrimony with the egg layer, the eggs turn into evil orcs. Probably idk but I could see a Mormon writing that
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Aug 23, 2020 01:03
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Nah it’s an EVIL RITUAL which perverts the egg into evil dragon men
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Aug 23, 2020 01:06
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Draconians were nightmares in combat (both in tabletop and old SSI Gold Box games). I think bronze ones self petrified when killed, trapping your weapon and some (gold?) straight up exploded. My first long term AD&D campaign was Dragonlance and our DM loved those shits
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Aug 23, 2020 01:58
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This thread has made me remember unpleasantly horny fantasy books and I'm becoming aware of the Krynn to Xanth pipline
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Aug 23, 2020 02:59
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Empty Sandwich posted:Lord Soth this whole thread is a trip, but remember how this guy's whole arc was stalking a living woman here is a snippet of their famous romance 
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Aug 23, 2020 03:30
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First thing Lord Soth does in Ravenloft is chokeholding a red dragon and knocking it's teeth out like a chad.
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Aug 23, 2020 03:35
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Soapy_Bumslap posted:This thread has made me remember unpleasantly horny fantasy books and I'm becoming aware of the Krynn to Xanth pipline How does no one remember how intensely horny the pern books were, i will never stop until someone else acknowledges it
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Aug 23, 2020 03:35
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Galewolf posted:First thing Lord Soth does in Ravenloft is chokeholding a red dragon and knocking it's teeth out like a chad. He overcompensates. He will never be a chad. Always chasing coulda beens and abloo bloo blooing his own sad sorry stupid rear end.
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Aug 23, 2020 03:38
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Black August posted:There is absolutely no interesting qualities to Tannis and he never actually suffers much at all for being half elf I remember all the legacy hilariously dying out of nowhere in the younger generation books, like LOTR Transformers the movie. I remember liking the second trilogy alot but hell if I'm gonna read it agian.
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Aug 23, 2020 04:04
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Black August posted:He overcompensates. He will never be a chad. Always chasing coulda beens and abloo bloo blooing his own sad sorry stupid rear end. freakin epic wheres the updoot button
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Aug 23, 2020 04:04
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Robo Reagan posted:freakin epic wheres the updoot button gently caress Soth!! 
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Aug 23, 2020 04:06
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Bismuth posted:How does no one remember how intensely horny the pern books were, i will never stop until someone else acknowledges it I mean, where do you want to go. It deserves an entire thread of its own, because some of the poo poo I remember I'm actively suppressing
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Aug 23, 2020 04:07
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Shageletic posted:I mean, where do you want to go. I would love a thread for dunking on DRoP Forgotten Realms, Dragonlance, all of these fantasy things that have sapient dragons that are horny and gently caress humans have one thing in common...the dragons are ancient natural creatures that have existed for ages and such, they're just like that. but PERN...the dragons were genetically engineered. Humans MADE them like that, they MADE them poo poo out of their tails and send out swaths of irrisistable horny beams whenever they mate.
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Aug 23, 2020 06:23
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Empty Sandwich posted:Oh, it's the opposite. That bumper sticker is aggressively mediocre. In retrospect the signs of humanity's impending doom were all there.
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Aug 23, 2020 06:25
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Posting in the ultimate "Trap sprung!" thread in tyool 2020.
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Aug 23, 2020 09:04
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Was Pern the one with alien strands falling from the sky and human riders had sex with each other while their dragons also did and all formed a mental connection during it, turning it into a foursome?
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Aug 23, 2020 09:11
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Galewolf posted:Was Pern the one with alien strands falling from the sky and human riders had sex with each other while their dragons also did and all formed a mental connection during it, turning it into a foursome? Yep! And one again the dragons were engineered by man so they were made that way. Oh also like half of the dragons were female but almost all of the riders were male so it resulted in astronomical levels of buttsex
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Aug 23, 2020 09:50
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I only read the first book literally to that exact scene and was like ugghh. I remember reading a random fantasy book about a blademaster/witcher type of guy and it had lines like "His erection was swift and painful". Can't remember much besides he was bald I think and had two katanas and killed everyone with a throat cut.
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Aug 23, 2020 10:46
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Galewolf posted:I only read the first book literally to that exact scene and was like ugghh. So...did he get a boner so fast it hurt? Seems unpleasant
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Aug 23, 2020 10:52
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like wolverine's claws but in boner form
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Aug 23, 2020 10:56
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VideoTapir posted:like wolverine's claws but in boner form Just imagined 3 boners erupting from between some knuckles with a "shink" sound
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Aug 23, 2020 11:05
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Bismuth posted:So...did he get a boner so fast it hurt? Seems unpleasant Yeah I think that was the exact wording. He was getting on with a sorceress and I'm sure the writer equated being a slamchad with that. My search for "bald guy swift and painful erection" yielded some very un-Christian results.
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Aug 23, 2020 11:15
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Galewolf posted:Yeah I think that was the exact wording. He was getting on with a sorceress and I'm sure the writer equated being a slamchad with that. I dont have a dick so im not an expert but afaik boners aren't supposed to painfully snap up like a reverse slap bracelet??? Sounds pretty unchadly to me
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Aug 23, 2020 11:24
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I am not a dick expert but clearly for the writer it was a sign of male virility. There is a non-zero chance that the author was a woman, iirc.
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Aug 23, 2020 12:04
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Tried every possible search keyword but couldn't find it yet. What I remember was: "His erection was fast and painful", obv. The guy was bald or bald with Mongol style top. He had two magical katanas/one bladed curved swords. I think they are named Sword of Fire and Sword of Ice (which makes all search results return with GURRM and MTG card with the same name). The main baddie also had two swords but named something edgy like Sword of Misery and Pain. He was so badass that every encounter ended up him slashing throats at least once "His body was glistening with sweat from the lovemaking" but I think that was actually a GURRM line from the first book of ASOIAF.
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Aug 23, 2020 12:35
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OP clearly read the book because of the cover. And I think it's good. OMG. Look at the Dragon! The Dragon is the OP! Look at it sneering at the rest of the cover!.
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Aug 23, 2020 12:35
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Larry Elmore 
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Aug 23, 2020 12:37
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Comstar posted:OP clearly read the book because of the cover. And I think it's good. I did not remember the guy on the right being a 65 year old trucker
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Aug 23, 2020 12:40
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Galewolf posted:Larry Elmore Why do I have this vague sense that I remember that name for reasons other than d&d art?
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Aug 23, 2020 12:53
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