NFL Week 1 N/V: Jadeveon Clowney Steaks

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Football Funhouse > NFL Week 1 N/V: Jadeveon Clowney Steaks

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FUCKFACE MORON: Apr 23, 2010; by sebmojo

he has a butthole on his chin

# ? Sep 10, 2020 00:09

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# ? Jun 9, 2024 14:28

Mystic Stylez: Dec 19, 2009

OxySnake posted:

https://twitter.com/picksixpod/status/1303799785133142018

This is a pro click.

lmfao no way

# ? Sep 10, 2020 00:21

Sono: Apr 9, 2008

OxySnake posted:

https://twitter.com/picksixpod/status/1303799785133142018

This is a pro click.

That looks like a great way to turn a sack into a death.

# ? Sep 10, 2020 00:26

Cognac McCarthy: Oct 5, 2008; It's a man's game, but boys will play

Sono posted:

That looks like a great way to turn a sack into a death.

Death/supervillain origin story imo

# ? Sep 10, 2020 00:31

Nissin Cup Nudist: Sep 3, 2011; Sleep with one eye open

We're off to Gritty Gritty land

Mystic Stylez posted:

lmfao no way

but is there anything in the 2020 rulebook about QBs wearing a car stereo

# ? Sep 10, 2020 00:37

fartknocker: Oct 28, 2012; Damn it, this always happens. I think I'm gonna score, and then I never score. It's not fair.; Wedge Regret

Steve DeBerg owned.

# ? Sep 10, 2020 00:49

seiferguy: Jun 9, 2005; FLAWED
INTUITION; Toilet Rascal

OxySnake posted:

https://twitter.com/picksixpod/status/1303799785133142018

This is a pro click.

I have never heard of this before and it's insane, did they change the rules after him?

# ? Sep 10, 2020 00:57

Shimrra Jamaane: Aug 10, 2007; Obscure to all except those well-versed in Yuuzhan Vong lore.

BoB turned Penn State around when it was supposed to die which is his biggest sin.

# ? Sep 10, 2020 01:11

Elephanthead: Sep 11, 2008; Toilet Rascal

seiferguy posted:

I have never heard of this before and it's insane, did they change the rules after him?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8_33TQoScG0

# ? Sep 10, 2020 01:11

Grittybeard: Mar 29, 2010; Bad, very bad!

Shimrra Jamaane posted:

BoB turned Penn State around when it was supposed to die which is his biggest sin.

He's probably responsible for both Matt McGloin and Christian Hackenberg being drafted, which you gotta admit is pretty impressive.

# ? Sep 10, 2020 01:16

Edward Mass: Sep 14, 2011; 𝅘𝅥𝅮 I wanna go home with the armadillo
Good country music from Amarillo and Abilene
Friendliest people and the prettiest women you've ever seen𝅘𝅥𝅮

It is Wednesday, not Thursday. Someone is trigger-happy!

# ? Sep 10, 2020 01:21

Sono: Apr 9, 2008

seiferguy posted:

I have never heard of this before and it's insane, did they change the rules after him?

The shoulder pads regulation only says they have to be completely covered by the shirt. There's a further rule prohibiting projecting hard objects. Big Dick Nick joke goes here.

The helmet regulations are

quote:

Helmets, face protectors
(a) Helmet with chinstrap (white only) fastened and facemask attached. Facemasks must not be more than 5/8-inch in diameter and must be made of rounded material; transparent materials are
prohibited.
Clear (transparent) plastic eye shields are optional. Tinted eye shields may be worn only after the League office is supplied with appropriate medical documentation and approval is subsequently granted. The League office has final approval.
No visible identification of a manufacturer’s name or logo on the exterior of a helmet or on any attachment to a helmet is permitted unless provided for under a commercial arrangement between the League and manufacturer; in no event is identification of any helmet manufacturer permitted on the visible surface of a rear cervical pad. All helmets must carry a small NFL shield logo on the rear lower-left exterior and an approved warning label on the rear lower-right exterior. Both labels will be supplied
in quantity by the League office.

Which would seem doesn't prohibit speakers. Or strobe lights or lasers. As long as they don't project from the helmet.

# ? Sep 10, 2020 01:26

Sweeper: Nov 29, 2007; The Joe Buck of Posting; Dinosaur Gum

Edward Mass posted:

It is Wednesday, not Thursday. Someone is trigger-happy!

Some of us have problems with excitement and premature events okay

# ? Sep 10, 2020 01:34

Spoeank: Jul 16, 2003; That's a nice set of 11 dynasty points there, it would be a shame if 3 rings were to happen with it

OxySnake posted:

https://twitter.com/picksixpod/status/1303799785133142018

This is a pro click.

holy poo poo, absolutely incredible. I had no idea.

# ? Sep 10, 2020 01:56

Elephanthead: Sep 11, 2008; Toilet Rascal

Steve DeBurg will win as many games as starting QB as Trubisky will this year.

# ? Sep 10, 2020 02:19

Shimrra Jamaane: Aug 10, 2007; Obscure to all except those well-versed in Yuuzhan Vong lore.

I want Belichick to use this loving speaker loophole to the fullest extent.

# ? Sep 10, 2020 02:35

kiimo: Jul 24, 2003

Somebody talk about the pinky.

The pinky is amazing

# ? Sep 10, 2020 02:50

BrownThunder: Oct 26, 2005; EXTEND BEN!
Forever and ever and ever

https://twitter.com/ProFootballTalk/status/1303870120616488966?s=20

# ? Sep 10, 2020 03:06

a neat cape: Feb 22, 2007; Aw hunny, these came out GREAT!

BrownThunder posted:

https://twitter.com/ProFootballTalk/status/1303870120616488966?s=20

drat who could have seen that coming

# ? Sep 10, 2020 03:08

Eifert Posting: Apr 1, 2007; Most of the time he catches it every time.; Grimey Drawer

Isn't the hip a pre-existing injury for him?

# ? Sep 10, 2020 03:22

Mr. Nice!: Oct 13, 2005; bone shaking.
soul baking.

Eifert Posting posted:

Isn't the hip a pre-existing injury for him?

He bo jacksoned himself in college.

# ? Sep 10, 2020 03:28

Ehud: Sep 19, 2003; football.

Eifert Posting posted:

Isn't the hip a pre-existing injury for him?

Yep!

He�s practiced every single day of camp. He�s always a full participant and every report says he looks athletic and fast and shows no ill effects from the hip injury.

This story is a nothingburger. You HAVE to be listed on the injury report if you receive treatment, even if it�s expected, ongoing treatment from a surgery.

He�s still receiving treatment because he�s just 10 months removed from major hip surgery!

# ? Sep 10, 2020 03:35

Eifert Posting: Apr 1, 2007; Most of the time he catches it every time.; Grimey Drawer

I heard that he was seen at a Carl Jrs in Coral Gables last week and his leg fell off and he tried to downplay it but he had to get an uber because he drives a stick and it was his clutch leg.

# ? Sep 10, 2020 03:39

fartknocker: Oct 28, 2012; Damn it, this always happens. I think I'm gonna score, and then I never score. It's not fair.; Wedge Regret

Eifert Posting posted:

I heard that he was seen at a Carl Jrs in Coral Gables last week and his leg fell off and he tried to downplay it but he had to get an uber because he drives a stick and it was his clutch leg.

There's no Carl's Jr in Florida, my immersion is ruined.

Now, if you'd said Checkers, I'd believe it.

# ? Sep 10, 2020 03:44

Spoeank: Jul 16, 2003; That's a nice set of 11 dynasty points there, it would be a shame if 3 rings were to happen with it

Mr. Tagovailoa and the training staff were in the closet reattaching his leg and I saw one of the legs and the leg looked at me!

# ? Sep 10, 2020 03:54

Eifert Posting: Apr 1, 2007; Most of the time he catches it every time.; Grimey Drawer

fartknocker posted:

There's no Carl's Jr in Florida, my immersion is ruined.

Now, if you'd said Checkers, I'd believe it.

His dad physically assaults him if he goes to fast food restaurants that exist.

# ? Sep 10, 2020 03:59

Chromatic: Jan 21, 2005; You guys ready to hear a satanic song?

Deberg had the goat play-action pass imo

https://i.imgur.com/JIxxgvj.gifv

# ? Sep 10, 2020 04:01

Quiet Feet: Dec 14, 2009; THE HELL IS WITH THIS ASS!?

Just fuse Tua's legs together like how they fused Peyton Manning's spine bones together. Get one big strong leg.

# ? Sep 10, 2020 04:05

Ches Neckbeard: Dec 3, 2005; You're all garbage, back up the truck BACK IT UP!

Quiet Feet posted:

Just fuse Tua's legs together like how they fused Peyton Manning's spine bones together. Get one big strong leg.

problem is he has Tony Romo bones.

# ? Sep 10, 2020 04:06

The Big Jesus: Oct 29, 2007; #essereFerrari

Spoeank posted:

Mr. Tagovailoa and the training staff were in the closet reattaching his leg and I saw one of the legs and the leg looked at me!

It's true I was the leg

# ? Sep 10, 2020 04:18

fartknocker: Oct 28, 2012; Damn it, this always happens. I think I'm gonna score, and then I never score. It's not fair.; Wedge Regret

Chromatic posted:

Deberg had the goat play-action pass imo

https://i.imgur.com/JIxxgvj.gifv

He�s an all-timer for sure, but don�t sleep on Boomer Esiason or mid-00�s peak Peyton.

# ? Sep 10, 2020 04:21

a neat cape: Feb 22, 2007; Aw hunny, these came out GREAT!

2004 Peyton was so loving good

# ? Sep 10, 2020 04:22

soggybagel: Aug 6, 2006; The official account of NFL Tackle Phil Loadholt.

Let's talk Football.

How had i never heard of this speaker system story. Thats loving awesome.

It does remind me of the officials stopping the game because the Lions crowd was too loud.

# ? Sep 10, 2020 04:40

AndrewP: Apr 21, 2010

Ehud posted:

Yep!

He�s practiced every single day of camp. He�s always a full participant and every report says he looks athletic and fast and shows no ill effects from the hip injury.

This story is a nothingburger. You HAVE to be listed on the injury report if you receive treatment, even if it�s expected, ongoing treatment from a surgery.

He�s still receiving treatment because he�s just 10 months removed from major hip surgery!

10 months, drat. What are their plans? I am absolutely buying Tua as the future of the Dolphins but I still think maybe he shouldn't take any hits this year

# ? Sep 10, 2020 04:54

Strobe: Jun 30, 2014; GW BRAINWORMS CREW

soggybagel posted:

How had i never heard of this speaker system story. Thats loving awesome.

It does remind me of the officials stopping the game because the Lions crowd was too loud.

That was Elway and the Chiefs during the 1990 season.

Eat poo poo Elway

# ? Sep 10, 2020 05:05

D-LINK: Oct 1, 2007; I was talking to peachy Peach about kissy Kiss. He bought me a soda.

Spoeank posted:

Mr. Tagovailoa and the training staff were in the closet reattaching his leg and I saw one of the legs and the leg looked at me!

just quoting this excellent post

# ? Sep 10, 2020 05:14

indigi: Jul 20, 2004; ^{how can we not talk about family

when family's all that we got?}

Peyton Manning sucks worse than his brother

# ? Sep 10, 2020 05:34

Edward Mass: Sep 14, 2011; 𝅘𝅥𝅮 I wanna go home with the armadillo
Good country music from Amarillo and Abilene
Friendliest people and the prettiest women you've ever seen𝅘𝅥𝅮

indigi posted:

Peyton Manning sucks worse than his brother

You�re going to have to be more specific.

# ? Sep 10, 2020 05:51

soggybagel: Aug 6, 2006; The official account of NFL Tackle Phil Loadholt.

Let's talk Football.

Strobe posted:

That was Elway and the Chiefs during the 1990 season.

Eat poo poo Elway

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5XLQdUlK0_8

Must have been an actual rule at the time.

# ? Sep 10, 2020 06:44

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# ? Jun 9, 2024 14:28

Gonz: Dec 22, 2009; "Jesus, did I say that? Or just think it? Was I talking? Did they hear me?"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kJG701aE3xQ

# ? Sep 10, 2020 08:02

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Football Funhouse > NFL Week 1 N/V: Jadeveon Clowney Steaks

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