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Some old lady bought me the first four books when I was twelve and I gotta tell ya, do not let twelve year olds read those books
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Sep 10, 2020 04:40
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Thats the book where she invents fire and deep dicking, and each subsequent sequel she invents something more outlandishly modern and fucks harder that I assume by the final book she roams the land in her 50 meter tall mobile gently caress palace
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Sep 10, 2020 04:42
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Was reading that book in class when I got to the rape scene. That felt real awkward.
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Sep 10, 2020 04:43
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I never read those but  I'm glad I never did.
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Sep 10, 2020 04:56
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twistedmentat posted:I mean it helps she's a hot babe readers want to gently caress. That puts her above Drizzt. Wrong, Drizzt was the babe all along
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Sep 10, 2020 05:27
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Barudak posted:Thats the book where she invents fire and deep dicking, and each subsequent sequel she invents something more outlandishly modern and fucks harder that I assume by the final book she roams the land in her 50 meter tall mobile gently caress palace I mean, I would read that.
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Sep 10, 2020 05:54
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If it had a lot less child rape it would be a lot less terrible
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Sep 10, 2020 06:01
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Cloacamazing! posted:I mean, I would read that. Legend of the overfiend is elsewhere.
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Sep 10, 2020 06:02
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Ayla is the person who invented taming horses, and wolves, and is totally hot and fucks a totally hot guy and has a giant vagina and is friends with a lion and is so cool you guys, that people think she's a goddess
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Sep 10, 2020 06:04
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While Clan of the Cave Bear is weird, do not be like me and get it confused with the hit 1970s winner of the Governor's General Award canadian novel "Bear" and rent that from the library instead by mistake. Young me was very very confused that you could win awards for novels about librarians loving actual bears, but it did explain why every library inexplicably had well worn copies.
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Sep 10, 2020 06:07
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Barudak posted:While Clan of the Cave Bear is weird, do not be like me and get it confused with the hit 1970s winner of the Governor's General Award canadian novel "Bear" and rent that from the library instead by mistake. I'm only familiar with "Bear" thanks to these very forums and I can never look at Canada quite the same way ever again.
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Sep 10, 2020 06:21
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Books that would be good with less child rape: The Metamorphosis of Prime Intellect
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Sep 10, 2020 06:29
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Miss posted:If it had a lot less child rape it would be a lot less terrible This is true of everything in this world
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Sep 10, 2020 06:40
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The beautiful blonde white protagonist's parents died and so she was raised by the swarthy, rapey Neanderthals but it's ok because later she meets a handsome blonde white man and they gently caress a lot because his job is loving ladies right
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Sep 10, 2020 06:53
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VideoTapir posted:Books that would be good with less child rape: The Metamorphosis of Prime Intellect idk I think that's at least part and parcel on the book's commentary on how hosed up virtual worlds could get. look at second life, etc.
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Sep 10, 2020 07:12
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Miss posted:The beautiful blonde white protagonist's parents died and so she was raised by the swarthy, rapey Neanderthals but it's ok because later she meets a handsome blonde white man and they gently caress a lot because his job is loving ladies right But enough about Game of Thrones
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Sep 10, 2020 07:25
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Miss posted:Can we talk about how hosed up this series is Yes please!  I read the series as a teenager. My parents also read the first book but somehow I forgot to bring the sequels from the library when they asked. I think the first book is okay? It's obvious the author did a lot of research about the ice age and neanderthals and whatnot, even if there are some big assumptions made about neanderthal culture. The rest of them...oh boy. It's not just that she's a perfect blonde goddess who invents everything, the culture of "modern" humans (her people, the non-neanderthals) is all about free sex and teenagers get initiated as soon as they hit puberty! The tribe picks some older man who's good at loving to take the virginity of a 13 year old! But it's okay, the dudes are taught to make it good for the girl! And sometimes grandma watches from the corner of the cave to make sure the girl doesn't get hurt! This is all portrayed in a positive light, and of course nobody except Ayla has yet figured out the link between sex and babies. Edit: oh and teenage boys just learn from designated older women, Jondalar made the mistake of falling in love with his sex teacher. In later books the sex teacher is now a shaman and also very fat (BUT NOT BECAUSE SHE EATS TOO MUCH OKAY?) In one of the later books, Ayla and Jondalar finally arrive at Jondalar's home tribe. That book was in need of some serious editing because the scene of "new character meets the wolf and horse and are amazed, Ayla assures them that the wolf is not dangerous" was repeated half a dozen times. There was also a lovely scene where the local mean girls do their stone age make up and decide to mess with Ayla by giving her some clothes that are actually meant for a young boy. But the joke's on them, the stone age boy's underwear makes Ayla's boobs look amazing! I gave up on the final book after a couple of chapters. There was an incredibly boring description of a lion hunt, and then afterwards Ayla hung out with the shamans learning about colors and numbers. So I didn't get to the part where Ayla and Jondalar invent monogamy. "Shaman" by Kim Stanley Robinson is a much better book about the ice age, with less cartoonish villains and a more believable culture. It even acknowledges that early modern humans in Europe probably did not all have white skin. GB Luxury Hamper fucked around with this message at 08:08 on Sep 10, 2020 |
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Sep 10, 2020 08:05
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jkk posted:In one of the later books, Ayla and Jondalar finally arrive at Jondalar's home tribe. That book was in need of some serious editing because the scene of "new character meets the wolf and horse and are amazed, Ayla assures them that the wolf is not dangerous" was repeated half a dozen times. There was also a lovely scene where the local mean girls do their stone age make up and decide to mess with Ayla by giving her some clothes that are actually meant for a young boy. But the joke's on them, the stone age boy's underwear makes Ayla's boobs look amazing! that book also had a part where ayla went to go take a piss and then a bunch of creepy dudes tried to rape her but she beat them up and the wolf mauled them (maybe??? i don't remember but) and they all died, except for the one who felt Kinda Bad about being a rapist it was presented in such a bizarre way that it was really like "this is Jean Auel unfiltered" Mx. fucked around with this message at 09:01 on Sep 10, 2020 |
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Sep 10, 2020 08:57
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twistedmentat posted:I did like that the Kingdom basically said "We can't stop them, but we can hurt them and slow them down to save as many people as we can". They went all scorched earth on the Emerald Queens army. But then the end got really esoteric where they theorized they were all living inside a gods dream or something? I got bored and had access to the books so Im on the third one now after finishing the first two yesterday. They were theorizing that the universe was a living thing and everything in it that was sentient/alive was technically part of it and their lives and such were it figuring out what the hell it was because it doesn't really have anything to go off of. It really more reads like the universe is a giant super computer trying to gain sentience. Also magic apparently is like the manipulation of atoms, or at least the basic "stuff" that everything is made of. Also yes the second book is like 80% economics and the protagonist gets rich through a combination of price gouging during a locust plague and by buying a metric gently caress ton of grain options at low prices right before the grain prices skyrocketed. A bunch of competitors who sold the options didn't actually have physical stores of grain so they got hosed because they couldn't deliver. Also the Elf dude is like 1/3 human 1/3 elf 1/3 magical precursor thing, which is why hes so ~special~ its never explicitly stated but its extremely blatant. Telsa Cola fucked around with this message at 09:13 on Sep 10, 2020 |
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Sep 10, 2020 09:06
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there was one clan of the cave bear book (plains of passage??) where there was a tribe of people who had TURNED THE ORDER OF THINGS ON ITS HEAD by making women be 100% in charge and all the men were slaves!! they were the most evil tribe of all i think the reason they were evil like this is because the chief of this clan had an abusive husband and then their child was intersex which made her become insane but i'm not going to reread it to check
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Sep 10, 2020 09:19
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Miss posted:there was one clan of the cave bear book (plains of passage??) where there was a tribe of people who had TURNED THE ORDER OF THINGS ON ITS HEAD by making women be 100% in charge and all the men were slaves!! they were the most evil tribe of all Yeah and since they didn't know that sperm is needed to make babies, they were just planning to let the men die and that way they'd have only female babies. But some women we're still sneaking off to have sex with their dudes. Also in one of the books there's a girl who's been raped before having her sex ceremony initiation, possibly by neanderthals or just some local jerks, and she doesn't want to have sex again. But then she watches Ayla and Jondalar doin' it and realizes that maybe sex not bad???? truly their love heals the world Also what about Ranec the token black guy and romantic rival of Jondalar? and the token Asian who lives with Jondalar's tribe? diversity! I actually met Jean Auel once when she did a book signing and interview at a local bookstore. My impression was that she was really into the stone age religion she had developed, including the sex parts of it. I got my copy of the Clan of the Cave Bear signed instead of the latest book.
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Sep 10, 2020 09:48
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lol i forgot about the token black guy, and how every single description of him layered in how exotic his hair was
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Sep 10, 2020 10:14
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Miss posted:Can we talk about how hosed up this series is I only know if this in movie form as it played on the then-nascent Encore premium cable channel (the only premium channel my parents paid for) and featured nudity
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Sep 10, 2020 10:20
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Barudak posted:Thats the book where she invents fire and deep dicking, and each subsequent sequel she invents something more outlandishly modern and fucks harder that I assume by the final book she roams the land in her 50 meter tall mobile gently caress palace That reminds me of the terrible Ayn Rand book Anthem, which takes place in a commune so horrible that they've banned the use of the word "I" and people may only use "We" instead. The main character wants to be a scientist but the people in charge of assigning jobs make him a street sweeper instead. He starts hiding in a tunnel to do science stuff and completely independently reinvents electricity and the light bulb (which had been lost after the communists took over.) He tries to share his invention with the commune but they hate him for being so good at stuff so he runs away with a young woman who conveniently also believes in individuality. They then find a house in the woods that was built by someone before the evil communists took over and live there the rest of their days, not seeing the irony of being independent only through someone else's hard work.
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Sep 10, 2020 12:53
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Deptfordx posted:I read the original Dark Elf Trilogy, back in the day. Then a few of the later ones. But I peaced out around the Siege of Mithral Hall and was astonished to see the Drittz saga was up to book 36! (Out this year.) This sounds less like a creepy plot and more like the book is a literal retelling of a dnd campaign. And the player who played cattie got bored of being an Archer and wanted to remake their character. I would bet money this is what happened
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Sep 10, 2020 13:39
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Jarvisi posted:This sounds less like a creepy plot and more like the book is a literal retelling of a dnd campaign. And the player who played cattie got bored of being an Archer and wanted to remake their character. This all happened waaaay too late in the books for that
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Sep 10, 2020 13:40
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That clan of the cave bear sex stuff sounds like the author was trying to say "Humans are more like bonobos than chimps!" Because Bonobos absolutely use sex in that same sort of way. It doesn't translate very well to humans though, oh no it does not.
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Sep 10, 2020 18:12
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Aren't human dicks mushroom shaped because it helped our ancestors plunge other dudes juices outta the way when they were all having cave orgies? It's legit
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Sep 10, 2020 18:45
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Colonel Cancer posted:Aren't human dicks mushroom shaped because it helped our ancestors plunge other dudes juices outta the way when they were all having cave orgies? It's legit Is this going to be a plot point in your next novel, Mr. Anthony?
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Sep 10, 2020 18:47
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NC Wyeth Death Cult posted:This is why I can't do WW2 miniature wargaming- you get a lot of guys who really, absolutely need to play an SS battalion every time. It's two hours with the Nazi-enthusiast, Army Navy store owner from "Falling Down" It was before my time but the early wargaming community that Avalon Hill wargames fostered was, for a few years, swamped with this. Virtually every wargaming group was named after some German or SS unit. This was also the age where Play by Mail was big and you had every group claiming they were undefeated and pretend they were playing games for “territory” and some of them claimed to have conquered the entire nation as their club beat all contenders. In reality most were undefeated because they would go silent in any game they were losing. There were calls from the older gamers (many of them WW2 vets) to calm down on the Nazi fetishism and either pick Allied units or don’t use military unit names. The whole scene imploded when no one was finishing any games and within a few years the Nazi thing calmed down. It still exists though. I play a lot of wargames. I try to avoid the guy who always wants to be Hitler for two reasons. One, he is usually creepy. Two, the game usually goes until his “brilliant” offensive collapses and suddenly he does not want to play any more because defense is boring. One of my most cherished memories was against a loud-mouthed World War 2 nut who thought of himself as Sun Tzu but clearly had no idea what he was doing. I beat him in France and he went to pieces about how the game was broken and stupid. He keeps wanting to play games with me but I avoid him. Hitler enthusiasts only have fun when they feel like they are winning. There is probably a lesson in there somewhere and hopefully we will see it unfold in real time on a much larger scale in November. One novel I kind of liked by Turtledove was about a German victory in World War 2. It is the story of Jewish families living in German society and keeping their faith very well hidden. When their kids get old enough their parents tell them and it is pure trauma as they have been taught to hate Jews and then they find out as teens that they are one. Another short story he wrote involved Nazi Germany invading India and Gahndi trying passive resistance with predictable results.
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Sep 10, 2020 19:06
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Colonel Cancer posted:Aren't human dicks mushroom shaped because it helped our ancestors plunge other dudes juices outta the way when they were all having cave orgies? It's legit i'm not sure when animals first started having mushroom dicks but i'm guessing it was a really really really really really long time ago Clan of the Mushroom-Dicked Cave Bear
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Sep 10, 2020 19:16
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Xenocides posted:Another short story he wrote involved Nazi Germany invading India and Gahndi trying passive resistance with predictable results. That story was so stupid.
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Sep 10, 2020 19:52
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also that the whole nonviolent resistance thing was predicated on using british ideals against them so i'm not really sure he would have gone that route against the nazis
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Sep 10, 2020 20:14
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Mozi posted:also that the whole nonviolent resistance thing was predicated on using british ideals against them so i'm not really sure he would have gone that route against the nazis Exactly. Also, Turtledove clearly didn't know anything about Ghandi's religious beliefs.
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Sep 10, 2020 20:19
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Mozi posted:also that the whole nonviolent resistance thing was predicated on using british ideals against them so i'm not really sure he would have gone that route against the nazis It portrayed him as a bit of an idiot expecting that when news of the massacre hit the press in Germany the people would condemn the wehrmacht’s actions. I am a bit mixed on that. Gandhi was sometimes very naive but I am not convinced he would be that naive.
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Sep 10, 2020 20:24
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Just blitzed through this thread, missed it earlier somehow. I was way too much into Dragonlance as a kid, but at least I can say being a kid was a good excuse. I think one of the more obscure Dragonlance things is that Ansalon, the main continent the stories are from, is in the world's southern hemisphere, and there is a second continent in the northern hemisphere (and also possibly on the other side of the word east-west wise) called Taladas:  That's a giant fuckin' lava ocean in the middle. Why a lava ocean? Well, they get hosed by the Cataclysm, too. It's been a LONG time since I read the boxed set for Taladas, but in a weird twist of fate I want to say Taladas basically had the same problem as Ansalon at the same time. Some priest was demanding to be made a God, and the gods said, "Nah" and smote them, just in a more lava-centric fashion. I am also 90% sure there are tinker gnomes there that ride around in lava boats and poo poo, and technically some of the elves there are cast-offs of Silvanesti elves that left Ansalon like a thousand years ago or whatever in the first elf civil war.
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Sep 10, 2020 20:59
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Thanks OP and everyone in this thread. Keeping me sane after getting evacuated in Southern Oregon. I remember Dragon Lance being terrible but I blocked most of it out.. now it's coming back and man that was dumb. Same thing with Wheel of Time, although that was more original and not somebody's gaming session made into prose... Thanks again keep it coming!
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Sep 10, 2020 21:34
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Colonel Cancer posted:Aren't human dicks mushroom shaped because it helped our ancestors plunge other dudes juices outta the way when they were all having cave orgies? It's legit yes, but humans don't really keep harems like chimps, so human males' genitals are tinier compared to size gorillas are more monogamous than humans so their genitals are even smaller
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Sep 10, 2020 21:39
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BBQ Dave posted:Thanks OP and everyone in this thread. Keeping me sane after getting evacuated in Southern Oregon. I remember Dragon Lance being terrible but I blocked most of it out.. now it's coming back and man that was dumb. Same thing with Wheel of Time, although that was more original and not somebody's gaming session made into prose... bobby jordan dmed d&d for his kids, so some of the stuff in his stories could very well be from his d&d sessions
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Sep 10, 2020 21:44
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DrBouvenstein posted:Just blitzed through this thread, missed it earlier somehow. I read at least a half-dozen Dragonlance books as a kid, but the only one I even vaguely remember was Conundrum, the one about gnomes in a submarine exploring the underside of Ansalon. That’s right, the underside. The running joke was that the purpose of the expedition was to learn why very large rocks float, and I distinctly remember them looking up at the the continent from below. So I always assumed the fantasy setting with a floating continent was a flat world, not an actual planet. Which is all to say I’m surprised to learn it had another hemisphere.
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Sep 10, 2020 23:12
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