Jokes that are good but you can't be bothered to develop a thread for

The Something Awful Forums > Main > BYOB: BYOB BYOB BOYB BBOY YOBB YBOB BBYO?? > Jokes that are good but you can't be bothered to develop a thread for

«‹›311 »

Zurtilik: The Biggest Brain in Guardia

What did the rock giant say to her husband?

"Sometimes I feel like you're taking me for granite."

# ? Aug 31, 2020 13:45

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 24, 2024 21:14

Finger Prince

Zurtilik posted:

What did the rock giant say to her husband?

"Sometimes I feel like you're taking me for granite."

So I'm with the wife, we're going down to Lowe's to look at some new kitchen countertops (we're remodelling the kitchen, ya see), anyway we're going to shop for a new countertop, I'm driving, and suddenly she just turns to me and outta nowhere drops this bomb - "sometimes I feel like you're taking me for granite."

# ? Aug 31, 2020 13:56

Zurtilik: The Biggest Brain in Guardia

Finger Prince posted:

So I'm with the wife, we're going down to Lowe's to look at some new kitchen countertops (we're remodelling the kitchen, ya see), anyway we're going to shop for a new countertop, I'm driving, and suddenly she just turns to me and outta nowhere drops this bomb - "sometimes I feel like you're taking me for granite."

# ? Aug 31, 2020 14:54

Jinh

Prof. Crocodile posted:

I tried jesse ventura's chewing tobacco now I am a sexual tyrannosaurus, just as he promised, but it's hard to take a bra off with these tiny arms

I'm still loling and it's been like 3 hours since I read it

# ? Aug 31, 2020 15:17

Deep Glove Bruno: yung swamp thang

a multi-hour youtube homemade conspiracy "documentary" about how dugongs are fake/just manatees

# ? Sep 2, 2020 22:30

Zurtilik: The Biggest Brain in Guardia

An alternate universe where Jurassic Park just didn't click with the public and when you bring up how good it is everyone just tells you that it's that silly dinosaur movie from the 90s

# ? Sep 2, 2020 22:52

Chewbecca: Just chillin' : )

PSA: there's not a joke on this earth that isn't worth the effort of a thread

See: my post history

_{Thanks to Heather Papps for sweet sig, click for more hot lady action}

_{sigs by luvcow and Khanstant.

Click on Spoonville for a neat surprise}

_{(┛◉Д◉)┛彡┻━┻ #YesNutNovember - add this to your sig if you love and support BYOB's own nut}

# ? Sep 2, 2020 22:56

krampster2

Private individuals being able to buy professional athletes.

I could buy Lionel Messi and make him do whatever I want like carry my groceries home from the shops and fetch me beers while I watch TV.

# ? Sep 6, 2020 03:22

abuse culture.

hour long sports injuries compilation that says it has an all CCR soundtrack but it�s all 80s glam metal

I WANNA ROCK (bullfighter getting gored)

# ? Sep 6, 2020 05:13

abuse culture.

krampster2 posted:

Private individuals being able to buy professional athletes.

I could buy Lionel Messi and make him do whatever I want like carry my groceries home from the shops and fetch me beers while I watch TV.

Tebow Time to go to the liquor store for me

# ? Sep 6, 2020 05:15

nut

krampster2 posted:

Private individuals being able to buy professional athletes.

I could buy Lionel Messi and make him do whatever I want like carry my groceries home from the shops and fetch me beers while I watch TV.

plays with a jersey that jsut says, "Brandon" on the front

# ? Sep 6, 2020 10:11

abuse culture.

I�m Ben Shapiro and this is diners drive ins and dives

# ? Sep 6, 2020 19:13

abuse culture.

forty daysh...tventy people...one shurvivor. my name eesh shlavoj zizek and thees ish shurvivor: Fiji

# ? Sep 6, 2020 19:33

canyoneer: I only have canyoneyes for you

sports radio announcers are on strike, and the stations bring in the morning show shock jock djs with soundboards to call the game instead.

"pop fly to third!" *boy-oy-oy-oy-oing*
"caught by simpson" *homer voice saying d'oh*
"and that makes three. the giants are heading back to the dugout" *toilet flush*

# ? Sep 6, 2020 21:32

Prof. Crocodile

a child is caught swearing, and when his mom demands to know where he learned such foul language he is reluctant to tell her about the legendary lost episode of sesame street where kermit smacks the cookies out of cookie monster's hands and says: "suck my dick you gently caress man!"

# ? Sep 12, 2020 20:34

Jolo: ive been playing with magnuts tying to change the wold as we know it

The Doobie Brothers recently shared the real story behind their song "China Grove." While many will believe it completely, I find their claims to be doobious at best.

# ? Sep 12, 2020 23:05

xcheopis

Jolo posted:

The Doobie Brothers recently shared the real story behind their song "China Grove." While many will believe it completely, I find their claims to be doobious at best.

# ? Sep 12, 2020 23:22

canyoneer: I only have canyoneyes for you

send him to the dog house

# ? Sep 12, 2020 23:24

Chewbecca: Just chillin' : )

Jolo posted:

The Doobie Brothers recently shared the real story behind their song "China Grove." While many will believe it completely, I find their claims to be doobious at best.

Hahahaha

# ? Sep 12, 2020 23:37

owlhawk911: come chill with me, in byob

Jolo posted:

The Doobie Brothers recently shared the real story behind their song "China Grove." While many will believe it completely, I find their claims to be doobious at best.

what a fool believes

https://giant.gfycat.com/PlasticAngryHousefly.webm
_{this sig a mf'n vanisher joint. gobbos by khanstant}

# ? Sep 13, 2020 05:55

Cubone: Because it never leaves its bedroom, no one has ever seen this poster's real face.

joanne, joanne, joanne, joanne
I'm begging of you please don't take my mlene

# ? Sep 13, 2020 18:38

Zurtilik: The Biggest Brain in Guardia

You're moving to Canada?!

I Ottawa punch you!

# ? Sep 13, 2020 18:40

Jolo: ive been playing with magnuts tying to change the wold as we know it

You're thinking aboot leaving Canada? Well we're poutine you under house arrest.

# ? Sep 13, 2020 19:27

The X-man cometh

I couldn't get in through the border checkpoint so I had to think aboat going across the lake.

# ? Sep 13, 2020 21:54

Manifisto

grondr - social media for orc dating and hookups

trolls and nazgul also welcome

ty nesamdoom!

# ? Sep 16, 2020 00:11

Kaiser Schnitzel: Schnitzel mit uns

Manifisto posted:

grondr - social media for orc dating and hookups

trolls and nazgul also welcome

Tindorc

Goblinsonly.com

https://i.imgur.com/R8ctked.mp4
ty Manifisto for this wonderful sig!

# ? Sep 16, 2020 01:09

The X-man cometh

Plenty of Lichs

# ? Sep 16, 2020 03:47

magic cactus: We lied. We are not at war. There is no enemy. This is a rescue operation.

Doctor Faustus, M.D. "sure we can do your breast augmentation surgery, but it carries a heavy price....."
"i'm an instagram girl, I can pay it"
"...that's not quite what I meant"

Thanks to Saoshyant for the amazing spring '23 sig!

# ? Sep 16, 2020 21:16

owlhawk911: come chill with me, in byob

The X-man cometh posted:

Plenty of Lichs

how many lichs does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop?

https://giant.gfycat.com/PlasticAngryHousefly.webm
_{this sig a mf'n vanisher joint. gobbos by khanstant}

# ? Sep 16, 2020 21:30

Trying

The X-man cometh posted:

Plenty of Lichs

i like it

# ? Sep 16, 2020 22:51

Manifisto

The X-man cometh posted:

Plenty of Lichs

haha

ty nesamdoom!

# ? Sep 17, 2020 01:31

Prurient Squid: Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.

Cthuhlu has a youth movement. Called the Young Tentacles? And they're like the boyscouts and they go camping?

# ? Sep 17, 2020 13:01

Manifisto

Prurient Squid posted:

Cthuhlu has a youth movement. Called the Young Tentacles? And they're like the boyscouts and they go camping?

scout manual written by abdul alhazred the mad himself!

ty nesamdoom!

# ? Sep 17, 2020 13:36

Prurient Squid: Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.

They to tie special knots like the hypereuclidean toroid hitch.

edit: There's a debate as to whether to allow atheists to join the camp as all members are required to believe in an "eldritch entity". A loophole is discovered whereby you can claim you believe in "thermodynamic entropy" as a supreme being.

Prurient Squid fucked around with this message at 15:19 on Sep 17, 2020

# ? Sep 17, 2020 15:13

Jolo: ive been playing with magnuts tying to change the wold as we know it

Tryin to get my "eternal unending" badge but it's taking forever

# ? Sep 17, 2020 17:12

Cubone: Because it never leaves its bedroom, no one has ever seen this poster's real face.

I had a dream that the hot new BYOB meme was a photograph of Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa (the actor who played Shang Tsung in Mortal Kombat) sitting in a chair and looking down pensively, with the text "THAT'S loving GOOD." and I woke up laughing but I'm not sure if it will translate to reality

# ? Sep 18, 2020 00:33

Finger Prince

Cubone posted:

I had a dream that the hot new BYOB meme was a photograph of Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa (the actor who played Shang Tsung in Mortal Kombat) sitting in a chair and looking down pensively, with the text "THAT'S loving GOOD." and I woke up laughing but I'm not sure if it will translate to reality

# ? Sep 18, 2020 01:46

Gene Hackman Fan: by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Finger Prince posted:

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

# ? Sep 18, 2020 01:57

Cubone: Because it never leaves its bedroom, no one has ever seen this poster's real face.

Finger Prince posted:

lol

# ? Sep 18, 2020 05:59

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 24, 2024 21:14

xutech: EIIST

That is funny, but how did you get him to cooperate?

# ? Sep 18, 2020 06:07

The Something Awful Forums > Main > BYOB: BYOB BYOB BOYB BBOY YOBB YBOB BBYO?? > Jokes that are good but you can't be bothered to develop a thread for

«‹›311 »