PYF Funny Pictures: the cheek shall inherit the girth

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Elviscat: Jan 1, 2008; Well don't you know I'm caught in a trap?

Phy posted:

Also I have a recipe that is basically canned crab and green onions in heated-up velveeta, spooned over tray bun halves and broiled. It's some honkey bullshit but it's also better than it has any right to be.

Well? Don't leave us loving hanging.

# ? Sep 30, 2020 06:20

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Jun 4, 2024 07:10

Milo and POTUS: Sep 3, 2017; I will not shut up about the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. I talk about them all the time and work them into every conversation I have. I built a shrine in my room for the yellow one who died because sadly no one noticed because she died around 9/11. Wanna see it?

Phy posted:

Also I have a recipe that is basically canned crab and green onions in heated-up velveeta, spooned over tray bun halves and broiled. It's some honkey bullshit but it's also better than it has any right to be.

Do not ever count out anything involving white people and melted cheese

# ? Sep 30, 2020 07:00

Resting Lich Face: Feb 21, 2019; This case of an intraperitoneal zucchini is unusual, and does raise questions as to how hard one has to push a blunt vegetable to perforate the rectum.

Milo and POTUS posted:

Do not ever count out anything involving white people and melted cheese

Yeah we have some redeeming qualities.

# ? Sep 30, 2020 07:04

morallyobjected: Nov 3, 2012

Elviscat posted:

Well? Don't leave us loving hanging.

# ? Sep 30, 2020 07:07

Resting Lich Face: Feb 21, 2019; This case of an intraperitoneal zucchini is unusual, and does raise questions as to how hard one has to push a blunt vegetable to perforate the rectum.

morallyobjected posted:

Nice.

# ? Sep 30, 2020 07:17

Phy: Jun 27, 2008; Fun Shoe

Milo and POTUS posted:

Do not ever count out anything involving white people and melted cheese

This is from memory cause my recipe book is downstairs and there's a cat on my lap.

One can-of-crab sized can of crab, drained
Don't get silly, just a regular can. Not a huge one. Fake crab is ok if you're cooking for someone with crustacean allergies.
Two green onions
1/4 cup of butter
one small pack of velveeta, or half a medium pack (so like half a pound.) Don't worry about the other half a pack, velveeta keeps for-friggin-ever in the fridge, it's disturbing.
A dozen tray buns. Y'know the kind that are soft and fluffy and have a buttery top. You can use the multigrain version if you like, but you will be doing it wrong.

Chop the crab/fake crab into little chunks. Chop the green onion into a billion tiny rings. Slice the buns into halves so you've got a dozen tops and a dozen bottoms. Arrange these on a cookie sheet, cut side up.

Put the cheese food product and the butter in a small pot on the stove. Melt it on low to medium-low. If it looks like the sauce is broken, ie cheese food product curds floating in melted butter, don't worry about it. Toss in the crab and onion and stir it with a spatula, and it will congeal within a few stirs. It's going to look mega gross.

Turn on your oven broiler. Spoon the cheese-adjacent crab gunk on top of the buns, about a big tablespoon each. Spread it out with the back of the spoon if you like, but it will spread a bit in the oven anyway. Once every bun half has some gunk on it, put it in the oven until the gunk browns up in spots. You probably won't get it uniformly brown unless you fart around with repositioning the tray under the broiler, but the browned bits are the best part.

Take it out of the oven before it scorches. Eat some gunky crab buns, they're probably terrible for you and they're tasty hot or cold the next day. I prefer the bottom sides of the buns, you may feel different. I like them with a garden salad so I don't feel quite so awful about my life choices.

# ? Sep 30, 2020 07:38

Parallelwoody: Apr 10, 2008

Jesus loving christ.

# ? Sep 30, 2020 08:16

mobby_6kl: Aug 9, 2009; by Fluffdaddy

Cable Guy posted:

Trenton Quarantino

# ? Sep 30, 2020 08:40

Yellow Yoshi: Apr 29, 2020; Figure 1: Mario's weird dog

Phy posted:

You're not going to lead us in with a riveting account of the events at the Battle of Omdurman?
Seems suspicious, not sure this is a real recipe

# ? Sep 30, 2020 10:27

Memento: Aug 25, 2009; Bleak Gremlin

Phy posted:

Ggrandad, you can't tame the white supremacist power structure with cheese!

# ? Sep 30, 2020 10:31

Scratch Monkey: Oct 25, 2010; 👰Proč bychom se netě�ili🥰kdy� n�m P�n Bůh🙌🏻zdrav� d�💪?

https://twitter.com/HamillHimself/status/1311198722001235968?s=20

# ? Sep 30, 2020 13:07

A FESTIVE SKELETON: Oct 2, 2011; TIS THE SEASON BITCH

Memento posted:

Ggrandad, you can't tame the white supremacist power structure with cheese!

man rip the boondocks

# ? Sep 30, 2020 13:19

Android Apocalypse: Apr 28, 2009; The future is
AUTOMATED
and you are
OBSOLETE; Illegal Hen

Phy posted:

This is from memory cause my recipe book is downstairs and there's a cat on my lap.

One can-of-crab sized can of crab, drained

Don't get silly, just a regular can. Not a huge one. Fake crab is ok if you're cooking for someone with crustacean allergies.

Two green onions

1/4 cup of butter

one small pack of velveeta, or half a medium pack (so like half a pound.) Don't worry about the other half a pack, velveeta keeps for-friggin-ever in the fridge, it's disturbing.

A dozen tray buns. Y'know the kind that are soft and fluffy and have a buttery top. You can use the multigrain version if you like, but you will be doing it wrong.

Chop the crab/fake crab into little chunks. Chop the green onion into a billion tiny rings. Slice the buns into halves so you've got a dozen tops and a dozen bottoms. Arrange these on a cookie sheet, cut side up.

Put the cheese food product and the butter in a small pot on the stove. Melt it on low to medium-low. If it looks like the sauce is broken, ie cheese food product curds floating in melted butter, don't worry about it. Toss in the crab and onion and stir it with a spatula, and it will congeal within a few stirs. It's going to look mega gross.

Turn on your oven broiler. Spoon the cheese-adjacent crab gunk on top of the buns, about a big tablespoon each. Spread it out with the back of the spoon if you like, but it will spread a bit in the oven anyway. Once every bun half has some gunk on it, put it in the oven until the gunk browns up in spots. You probably won't get it uniformly brown unless you fart around with repositioning the tray under the broiler, but the browned bits are the best part.

Take it out of the oven before it scorches. Eat some gunky crab buns, they're probably terrible for you and they're tasty hot or cold the next day. I prefer the bottom sides of the buns, you may feel different. I like them with a garden salad so I don't feel quite so awful about my life choices.

I think I'll try making this, but using ingredients I can find at my nearby Asian grocery store. The weird spicy canned crab they have there can be interesting, and instead of rolls maybe use some Asian rice cracker. Trying to find a Velveeta substitute may be difficult, but gently caress it since I'm changing a lot of this maybe I'll cut the processed cheese with some guy�re to make it fancier.

# ? Sep 30, 2020 14:39

Baba Yaga Fanboy: May 18, 2011

A FESTIVE SKELETON posted:

man rip the boondocks

Fool, you can't win! My stand, [EVEN WORSE], can parody anything your stand can do, and do it better! Plus it plays accordion! Leave my domain, Spatula City, now, before I grow bored and give you to Harvey to play with.

# ? Sep 30, 2020 20:45

Doc Hawkins: Jun 15, 2010; Dashing? But I'm not even moving!

"⎡ALTERNATIVE POLKA⎦!!!"

# ? Oct 1, 2020 05:27

DicktheCat: Feb 15, 2011

Android Apocalypse posted:

I think I'll try making this, but using ingredients I can find at my nearby Asian grocery store. The weird spicy canned crab they have there can be interesting, and instead of rolls maybe use some Asian rice cracker. Trying to find a Velveeta substitute may be difficult, but gently caress it since I'm changing a lot of this maybe I'll cut the processed cheese with some guyère to make it fancier.

That's not even the same meal. How can you even call yourself proper trash, eating that!

# ? Oct 1, 2020 05:36

Android Apocalypse: Apr 28, 2009; The future is
AUTOMATED
and you are
OBSOLETE; Illegal Hen

I'm sorry I'm trying to reverse-culturally appropriate this truly Midwestern dish. I am definitely not claiming this as authentic by any means and I am not starting some successful food truck claiming it as my own.

# ? Oct 1, 2020 05:45

Teriyaki Hairpiece: Dec 29, 2006; I'm nae the voice o' the darkened thistle, but th' darkened thistle cannae bear the sight o' our Bonnie Prince Bernie nae mair.

That post gave me the idea of a Cheese Psychiatrist, a highly trained medical professional who combines talk therapy with specifically calibrated mixtures of cheese that you take over time to help you deal with your issues.

"Well, we've gotten some good results with the manchego, but I'd like to up your dosage of sharp cheddar, and just kind of taper off your intake of smoked gouda. We're going to get through this together."

"We might have to talk about getting you on some of the more expensive imported cheeses. You've got to call your insurance and see what they cover."

# ? Oct 1, 2020 05:47

Duckula: Aug 31, 2001; do not resuscitate

Scratch Monkey posted:

https://twitter.com/HamillHimself/status/1311198722001235968?s=20

Trumps gonna win.

# ? Oct 1, 2020 06:04

Biplane: Jul 18, 2005

Teriyaki Hairpiece posted:

That post gave me the idea of a Cheese Psychiatrist, a highly trained medical professional who combines talk therapy with specifically calibrated mixtures of cheese that you take over time to help you deal with your issues.

"Well, we've gotten some good results with the manchego, but I'd like to up your dosage of sharp cheddar, and just kind of taper off your intake of smoked gouda. We're going to get through this together."

"We might have to talk about getting you on some of the more expensive imported cheeses. You've got to call your insurance and see what they cover."

I misread this as Chinese Psychiatrist, and struggled mightily with the rest of your post.

# ? Oct 1, 2020 06:25

StillFullyTerrible: Feb 16, 2020; you should have left Let's Play open for public view, Lowtax

Duckula posted:

Trumps gonna win.

keep it in cspam

# ? Oct 1, 2020 06:32

Memento: Aug 25, 2009; Bleak Gremlin

Teriyaki Hairpiece posted:

That post gave me the idea of a Cheese Psychiatrist, a highly trained medical professional who combines talk therapy with specifically calibrated mixtures of cheese that you take over time to help you deal with your issues.

"Well, we've gotten some good results with the manchego, but I'd like to up your dosage of sharp cheddar, and just kind of taper off your intake of smoked gouda. We're going to get through this together."

"We might have to talk about getting you on some of the more expensive imported cheeses. You've got to call your insurance and see what they cover."

I knew my inadvisably constant consumption of blue cheese was a positive factor in my life.

# ? Oct 1, 2020 06:52

Snowglobe of Doom: Mar 30, 2012; sucks to be right

Scratch Monkey posted:

https://twitter.com/HamillHimself/status/1311198722001235968?s=20

I love that this became a thing

More: https://imgur.com/gallery/Jxi8Rqp

# ? Oct 1, 2020 07:11

Trabant: Nov 26, 2011; All systems nominal.

RandomFerret posted:

Mixing shellfish and dairy is forbidden twice over in the torah, the bible and qur'an. God really, really doesn't want you doing that

We lost nearly two millennia of potential tuna melt technology development because of religion :argh:

# ? Oct 1, 2020 07:46

Clockwork Sputnik: Nov 6, 2004; 24 Hour Party Monster

Trabant posted:

We lost nearly two millennia of potential tuna melt technology development because of religion

Ah yes, the coveted spiny tunastacean
it's a pastry

Clockwork Sputnik has a new favorite as of 08:10 on Oct 1, 2020

# ? Oct 1, 2020 07:56

Android Apocalypse: Apr 28, 2009; The future is
AUTOMATED
and you are
OBSOLETE; Illegal Hen

That moment when you realize crab Rangoon is not allowed in some religions�

# ? Oct 1, 2020 08:17

Cyrano4747: Sep 25, 2006; Yes, I know I'm old, get off my fucking lawn so I can yell at these clouds.

Snowglobe of Doom posted:

that might be the best mic drop ever.

# ? Oct 1, 2020 15:44

Megillah Gorilla: Sep 22, 2003; If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.; Bread Liar

Yeah, ain't no one beating that.

# ? Oct 1, 2020 16:10

Moot .1415926535: Mar 24, 2006; Yep, that's pretty much it.

# ? Oct 1, 2020 16:33

LifeSunDeath: Jan 4, 2007; still gay rights and smoke weed every day

Moot .1415926535 posted:

Giving me the COD real bad.

# ? Oct 1, 2020 16:35

Data Graham: Dec 28, 2009; 📈📊🍪😋

Moot .1415926535 posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S7wqqEtBlNc

# ? Oct 1, 2020 16:37

A Moose: Oct 22, 2009

Moot .1415926535 posted:

holy poo poo I thought I was looking at work stuff on the wrong screen.

Social security disability stuff is insane, I've seen stuff about that crazy with documentation and they still get denied.

Though my favorite one was the client who was claiming they had a prescription for methadone, and asked their doctor to write a letter, where he said "I have no idea where they're gettign that, I did NOT prescribe that"

# ? Oct 1, 2020 18:07

One More Fat Nerd: Apr 13, 2007; Mama’s Lil’ Louie; Nap Ghost

Moot .1415926535 posted:

-wear a bathrobe to school every day
-weigh 750 pounds
-both parents are Charles Manson

# ? Oct 1, 2020 20:11

Rascar Capac: Aug 31, 2016; Surprisingly nice, for an evil Inca mummy.

https://twitter.com/simulacrax/status/1311772844364361728?s=19

Couldn't quite work out what thread was right for this, so here it is.

# ? Oct 1, 2020 23:17

Son of Thunderbeast: Sep 21, 2002

I'll have one MC Escher Special to go please

# ? Oct 1, 2020 23:47

Brazilianpeanutwar: Aug 27, 2015; Spent my walletfull, on a jpeg, desolate, will croberts make a whale of me yet?

Son of Thunderbeast posted:

I'll have one MC Escher Special to go please

Woah quantum flux peas.I imagine trying to eat them would somehow land them on the back of your head or something.

# ? Oct 1, 2020 23:54

Leon Sumbitches: Mar 27, 2010; Dr. Leon Adoso Sumbitches (prounounced soom-'beh-cheh) (born January 21, 1935) is heir to the legendary Adoso family oil fortune.