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Yikes!! Take it easy and get well soon, the serial killer POV book will still be here.
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Sep 28, 2020 01:39
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The sickness is coming and going, so I'm writing when I can even if it takes a day or two to get through a post.
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Sep 28, 2020 20:56
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quote:I knew it could be nothing in comparison to how I loved her—she was mortal, changeable. She wasn’t locked in with no hope of recovery. But still, she cared enough to risk her life to sit here with me. To do so gladly. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ye9xzzYsA6Y quote:I should have stayed away. I should never have come back to Forks. I would cause her nothing but pain. Even more wrong with the added context! quote:“What did I say?” she asked, quick to take the blame on herself. I'm so baffled by how often Meyer does this with Edward. This isn't a thing people do! You don't try to speak with two separate emotions and end up having a weird growled mix of them! quote:“So am I,” she insisted. “I told you, it doesn’t matter what you are. It’s too late.” He has no idea he's in love with a hardcore monster fucker. quote:It could not be too late. No! His meal! quote:“No,” she lied, her voice breaking. I want to hit him with a folding chair. quote:I wanted to change the subject, to think of something else. Lucky for me, my curiosity about the girl was insatiable. Come on, Meyer. I already made a "glass bones and paper skin" joke. Don't do this to me. quote:“You were going to fight them?” I wanted to groan. Her instincts were deadly—to herself. Ughhhhhhh quote:“Yes—I have a paper due, too.” I smiled at her, and it felt good to do this. Clearly, hers were not the only instincts that were backwards. “I’ll save you a seat at lunch.” Seriously, how many vampires are there in the Twilight universe? Setting aside the "newborn army" problem, there's apparently now so many that Edward could justify thinking another one could randomly appear in this small town in the middle of nowhere. While he later turns out to be right, obviously, it seems like it would be pretty unlikely unless there really are just vampires all over the world that somehow have never been caught. quote:“Bella?” I asked, amazed at the pleasure there was in simply speaking her name. Of course. Bears. quote:She shivered, but recovered quickly and was even smiling when she told me, “Whatever you say.” Wow, you actually went there and said that. quote:“Tomorrow, then,” she agreed as she opened her door. Someone should film these scenes mimicking the exact line delivery and body language just to see how ridiculous it all comes off. quote:She recovered—though her face was still a bit bemused—and half fell out of the car, tripping over her feet and having to catch the frame of the car to right herself. Just tripping her way to bed. quote:I could feel her eyes follow me as I drove down the dark street. Such a different sensation than I was accustomed to. Usually, I could simply watch myself through someone’s following eyes, were I of a mind to. This was strangely exciting—this intangible sensation of watching eyes. I knew it was just because they were her eyes. Time to do donuts in the school parking lot! quote:I replayed that smile in my head, seeing her full lips pull up at the corners, the hint of a dimple that touched her pointed chin, the way her eyes warmed and melted. Her fingers had felt so warm and soft on my hand tonight. I imagined how it would feel to touch the delicate skin that stretched over her cheekbones—silky, warm… so fragile. Silk over glass… frighteningly breakable. How is the most overtly sexual writing saved for this line? quote:I was alone. Bella was, I trusted, safe inside her home; for a moment I was fiercely glad that Charlie Swan—head of the local law enforcement, trained and armed—was her father. That ought to mean something, provide some shelter for her. That last line is going to sound really funny when you see some of the poo poo later in this book. quote:This was definitely a mortal concern, not of our world. To commit the murder I ached to commit was wrong. I knew that. But leaving him free to attack again could not be the right thing, either. One line cut from the final draft was Edward saying either of those women could be "somebody's Bella" as his realization for why he needs to protect them. quote:I turned the car north, accelerating now that I had a purpose. Whenever I had a dilemma that was beyond me—something tangible like this—I knew where to go for help. Holy poo poo, actual affection! quote:Thank you for returning my call, she thought sarcastically. Except when the plot demands it! quote:“Thanks.” Every other love story in this series is "a better love story than Twilight." Except imprinting. quote:She pursed her lips and stared up at me, a hint of accusation in her expression. I paid better attention afterward. Are you going to tell them that she knows? How about we just never tell Rosalie or Emmett anything and turn this into a comedy where the rest of the Cullens are trying to hide it from them for the rest of the book? quote:Bella took it pretty well. So Alice hasn't gotten the future of Bella trying to jump his marbles yet? quote:Impatient now, I sighed heavily. I wanted to be through with the next part of the evening; I wanted it over with. But I was a little worried to leave Forks. Please, just pick one form of communication per conversation! quote:I took a deep breath. The words were beautiful to me. "In case you needed a reminder of how perfect our hearing is, and how much of a plot hole that becomes." quote:It was a relief to be with him, to see the empathy and deep intelligence in his eyes. Carlisle would know what to do. Just laying it out there that he had neither, huh? quote:“I’m not looking for compliments, Carlisle.” Such a kind, gentle, perfect lover. quote:“I’ll show you where to find him,” I said.  quote:We took my car. Alice was still on the steps. She grinned and waved as we drove away. I saw that she had looked ahead for me. We would have no difficulties. In case the religious overtones to their relationship weren't obvious enough. quote:He pictured Bella with snow-cold skin and bloodred eyes, and then flinched away from the image. Motherfucker, this brat is owed nothing! quote:I wished I could believe either of his hopes. But there was no higher purpose to what was happening to Bella. Just a vicious harpy, an ugly, bitter fate who could not bear for her to have the life she deserved. Ca-caw, I guess. quote:I did not linger in Port Angeles. I took Carlisle to the dive bar where the twisted thing named Lanny was drowning his disappointment with his friends—two of whom had already passed out. Carlisle could see how hard it was for me to be so close—to hear the fiend’s thoughts and see his memories, memories of Bella mixed in with those of less fortunate girls whom no one could save now. Oh yeah, Midnight Sun wants it to be very clear that this guy is a murderer and not just a random drunk guy assaulting Bella. So you feel less awkward about Edward wanting to slowly torture him to death! quote:My breathing sped. My hands clenched the steering wheel. Again, why do any vampires drive cars? quote:I sighed silently with relief. Everything was just as it should be. Bella was safe in her bed, dreaming, her wet hair tangled across the pillow. Imagine casually having a "usual seat" for breaking into someone's home to stare at them. quote:I thought for a brief moment, and then eased out into the hallway, exploring another part of her house for the first time. Meyer couldn't even come up with another thing for Charlie to have on his mind, huh? quote:There, at the top of the stairs, was a promising-looking cupboard. I opened it hopefully and found what I was looking for. I selected the thickest blanket from the tiny linen closet and took it back into her room. I would return it before she woke, and no one would be the wiser. This weird thing about the hag/harpy-like Fates was the previous obsession Edward had, before the final draft added the pomegranate seeds. Now we have two dueling, badly written Greek mythology references. quote:Someone like Bella ought to have a protector, a guardian angel. She deserved that. And yet, clearly, she’d been left defenseless. I would love to believe an angel or anything else was watching over her, anything that would give her a measure of protection, but when I tried to imagine that champion, it was obvious such a thing was impossible. What guardian angel would have allowed Bella to come here? To cross my path, formed, as she was, in such a fashion that there was no way I could possibly overlook her? A ridiculously potent scent to demand my attention, a silent mind to enflame my curiosity, a quiet beauty to hold my eyes, a selfless soul to earn my awe. Factor in the total lack of self-preservation so she was not repelled by me, and then of course add the wide streak of appallingly bad luck that put her always in the wrong place at the wrong time. Almost as if the entire plot was contrived off the top of the author's head to fulfill her weird fantasies! quote:There could be no stronger evidence that guardian angels were a fantasy. No one needed or deserved one more than Bella. Yet any angel that could have allowed us to meet must be so irresponsible, so reckless, so… harebrained, that it could not possibly be on the side of good. I’d rather the loathsome harpy were real than any celestial being so ineffectual. At least I could fight against the ugly fate. chitoryu12 fucked around with this message at 23:38 on Sep 28, 2020 |
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Sep 28, 2020 23:36
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Chapter 11: Interrogationsquote:CNN broke the news first. In the original draft, his name was "Alonzo." I don't know why Meyer changed it, but that's the only possible explanation for his nickname now being "Lanny." Also, for a completely unknown reason, she removed the mention of him being a serial rapist as well as a murderer. Was she trying to make it seem like Bella was just in danger of being stabbed to death on that street and nothing else? quote:“The coverage here in town will be light. It’s too far away to be considered of local interest,” Alice told me. “It was a good call to have Carlisle take him out of state.” I see Edward's not up to date on the death penalty debate. quote:No. That didn’t matter. I would put this behind me and concentrate on what was most important. And I appreciate her for that! quote:I grinned at her. “See you at school.” You're doing it again, Meyer. quote:Knowing Bella, that idea probably wouldn’t bother her in the slightest. Stop bullying the poor truck! quote:Bella rushed out of the house, her book bag sliding off her shoulder, her hair coiled into a messy twist that was already coming apart on the nape of her neck. The thick green sweater she wore was not enough to keep her thin shoulders from hunching against the cold fog. The most Mormon porn in the world. quote:Bella turned away from the door in such a hurry that she nearly ran right by my car without noticing it. "Except when I really don't want her to do something. Then I'll disable her truck and stalk her." quote:“Yes, thank you,” she murmured, climbing into my car without hesitation. Chivalry is dead. The future is now, old man. quote:“I’m not quite that delicate,” she said, staring at my chest rather than my face, as if she were hesitant to meet my eyes. But she put the coat on before I could resort to coaxing or begging. That if this wasn't a Mormon love story, she'd have gone through 5 sets of AA batteries since seeing you. quote:“Enough to drive me insane,” I said. If he tried to speak now with such conflicting emotions, his voice would probably come out sounding like a whale. quote:“Where’s the rest of your family?” she asked suddenly. No you don't. quote:Of course, Bella was totally oblivious to the inherent contradiction of my own car. It was no accident we were most often seen in the Volvo—a car celebrated above all for its safety. Safety, the one thing vampires would never need from a vehicle. Few would recognize the less common racing edition, not to mention the aftermarket work we’d done. That's loving hilarious. "Carlisle, I need to buy this Volvo. Everyone will immediately recognize it for its excellent safety record and never suspect us of being vampires!" quote:“You don’t succeed,” she told me, and then she laughed a carefree laugh. What was that meant to imply? What rules are you suggesting you're about to flaunt to try and scare her? quote:Once out of the car, I walked as close to her as I dared, watching carefully for any sign that my proximity upset her. Twice her hand twitched toward me and she snatched it back. It looked like she wanted to touch me.… My breath sped. And he will be! quote:“Er… hi,” Jessica mumbled, and her eyes flashed to Bella’s face, full of significance. “I guess I’ll see you in Trig.” This is not how teenagers think. quote:It couldn’t be like that. And yet I… I wanted… The one where you aren't taught about contraceptives. quote:I shook my head and tried to lighten up. That's rich. quote:“She wants to know if we’re secretly dating,” I said slowly. “And she wants to know how you feel about me.” In the distance, Mike Newton angrily pulls a leaf off a branch. quote:I tried to hide my smile as I answered her question. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t7hsVa18yfA quote:As I paced away, I was vaguely aware of the shocked and speculative thoughts that swirled around me—eyes bouncing back and forth between Bella’s face and my retreating figure. I paid them little attention. I couldn’t concentrate. It was hard enough to keep my feet moving at an acceptable speed as I crossed the soggy grass to my first class. I wanted to run—really run, so fast that I would disappear, so fast that it would feel like flying. Part of me was flying already. This is basically like rubbing a steak covered in heroin all over yourself to remind yourself of your crush. quote:It was a good thing that my teachers no longer bothered to call on me. Today might have been the day they caught me out, unprepared and answerless. My mind was in so many places this morning; only my body was in the classroom. So charming. quote:I was also loosely monitoring Jessica, watching her refine her questions for Bella. I could barely wait for fourth period, ten times as eager and anxious as the curious human girl who wanted fresh gossip. "These silly humans, wanting some little shiny bauble to placate them. Why, I could never try to demonstrate my love for my girlfriend by just showering her in expensive toys whether or not she wants them!" quote:But Angela proved almost as unaccommodating as Bella with her thoughts. She was oddly content for a teenager. Happy. Perhaps this was the reason for her unusual kindness—she was one of those rare people who had what she wanted and wanted what she had. If she wasn’t paying attention to her teachers and her notes, she was thinking of the twin little brothers she was taking to the beach this weekend—anticipating their excitement with almost maternal pleasure. She cared for them often, but was not resentful of this fact. It was very sweet. If only there was a local who could imprint on them.... quote:There had to be something she wanted. I would just have to keep looking. But later. It was time for Bella’s Trigonometry class with Jessica. She's also worried because Edward's about to just repeat an entire loving scene from the first book! quote:“Tell me everything!” Jess demanded while Bella was still removing her jacket to hang it on the back of her seat. She was moving with deliberation, unwillingly. Meyer is retconning here. There was no eye-rolling or smiling from Bella's POV. She was pointing out his crazy driving specifically to get a dig in at Edward, knowing he'd be spying on her. quote:Huh. She sounds like she’s telling the truth. Why is she making me pull this out of her, word by word? I would be bragging at the top of my lungs. Because it extends the length of the book. quote:“Was it like a date—did you tell him to meet you there?” How much did Meyer copy and paste from Twilight? So much that the italics are properly reversed here! quote:What is going on? “But he picked you up for school today?” There has to be more to the story. "I wanted to hear something I didn't already know" YOU DON'T loving SAY, CULLEN quote:“So are you going out again?” Jessica demanded. Silly Edward. If we all did that, there would be no pointless conflict! quote:“Wait!” Jessica said, suddenly remembering her most vital question. “Has he kissed you?” Please say yes. And then describe every second! I had made a face-eating crack when reading this in the first book. I guess Meyer thought the same. quote:“Do you think Saturday…?” Jessica prodded. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KsLIMWe-aX8&t=116s This would have been a much better ending to the story, too. quote:I shook my head, wincing, and refocused. Even Jessica is getting annoyed by the main characters. quote:“I don’t know, Jess, lots of stuff. We talked about the English essay a little.” "Humans are all beneath me!" quote:Interesting.… “That’s a good sign. Was she pretty?” Meyer is going into overtime trying to get us to hate all of Bella's "friends." quote:“Even better. He must like you.” Oh, you're transparently out of control. You're just also a freak. quote:Wow. How do you sit there across from a male model and make conversation? “I don’t know how you’re brave enough to be alone with him,” Jessica said. Drama pose! quote:I was reminded of how it felt when Carlisle or Esme praised me beyond what I deserved. This emotion was similar, but more intense, more consuming. Pro tip for writers: if you want your character to be someone with poor self-esteem who doesn't believe themselves worthy of praise until they learn their true value, you have to make someone who actually has value to find. quote:Sell stupid somewhere else—there’s nothing better than that face! Unless it’s his body. Swoon. “Is that possible?” Jessica giggled. Just really laying it on thick how much we need to hate Jessica. quote:I was rigid again. I bet. quote:Bella didn’t look at Jessica. “Yes.” I legitimately can't tell what I'm supposed to think here. Is Meyer meant to be roasting her own self-insert, or is Edward just so loving stupid as to not get it? quote:I glared at the clock, gritting my teeth. How could mere minutes feel so impossibly long to an immortal? Where was my perspective?
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Sep 29, 2020 18:35
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chitoryu12 posted:This weird thing about the hag/harpy-like Fates was the previous obsession Edward had, before the final draft added the pomegranate seeds. Now we have two dueling, badly written Greek mythology references. I hate the Persephone metaphor so much. It doesn't make sense! He didn't kidnap her, she's not trying to leave him, and there's no sort of timeshare deal where both he and her mother get her for 6 months. The Romeo & Juliet thing was clunky, but at least the metaphor of star-crossed lovers fit the situation.
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Sep 29, 2020 20:10
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Edward is so weird. I could buy it if he'd been dead for centuries but he's so young and he talks like an alien.
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Sep 29, 2020 21:11
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hyperhazard posted:I hate the Persephone metaphor so much. It doesn't make sense! He didn't kidnap her, she's not trying to leave him, and there's no sort of timeshare deal where both he and her mother get her for 6 months. The Romeo & Juliet thing was clunky, but at least the metaphor of star-crossed lovers fit the situation. Breaking Dawn had a similarly garbled usage of Greek mythology with Bella trying to describe the Threads of Fate as a metaphor for her life being a tapestry. I've never seen any author so dedicated to using Greek mythology so much while also knowing so little about it.
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Sep 30, 2020 01:39
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quote:I wasn’t sure whether Jessica would get some of the answers I was waiting for when the class was over, but Bella was quicker than she was. How many times has Emmett sent the birdie through the skylight and started howling like a gorilla in triumph? quote:This gave me enough time to get to the math building before Bella’s class ended. I don't know, Edward "Telepath" Cullen. Are all psychics so smug? quote:FYI, it’s going to be sunny on both sides of the sound this weekend. You might want to rearrange your plans. That could be the subtitle of this book. quote:They came out of the classroom together, and both girls’ eyes widened when they saw me. But I could only hear Jessica. I bet this guy imagines himself in a day cravat and waistcoat. quote:“Hello,” I said, my voice a tad curt. What's worse than getting mad at something your partner did in a dream that you had? Spying on them being insecure and getting mad at them for that! quote:Her face got brighter pink. “Hi.” None of which you deserve, you big baby! quote:She didn’t say anything until I was assembling her lunch. I didn’t know what she liked—not yet—so I grabbed one of everything. You're still giving her half the menu! quote:She raised one eyebrow skeptically, but said nothing more as I paid for the food and escorted her to the table we’d sat at last week. It seemed like much more than a few days ago. Everything was different now. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cc3EiDhrDn8 quote:Bella’s expression was shocked. Impressed. He really isn't questioning that? quote:How could he? That selfish jackass! How could he do this to us? Rosalie’s piercing mental shriek broke through my humor. Yep! quote:Jasper was not much happier. Rosalie and Edward:  quote:I pushed the plate of food back toward Bella—pizza, I realized—wondering how best to begin. My former frustration flared as her words repeated in my head: More than he likes me. But I don’t see how I can help that. The super educated genius who never forgets anything forgot what pizza is? quote:She took a bite from the same slice of pizza. It amazed me how trusting she was. Of course, she didn’t know I was venomous—not that sharing food would hurt her. Still, I expected her to treat me differently. As something other. She never did. Enough to be worrying! quote:But she couldn’t honestly believe that her human feelings, the fruition of seventeen short mortal years, could be stronger than this demolition ball of emotion that had wrecked me after a century of emptiness? Originally that hilarious turn of phrase referred to "immortal passions," which might be the name of a Twilight ripoff novel somewhere. quote:“Something you said to Jessica…” I couldn’t keep my voice casual. “Well, it bothers me.” For someone who claims to be remorseful, he's sure coming up with a lot of excuses to never apologize and keep doing it! quote:“That’s quite a distinction,” she grumbled, scowling at me. Nothing does! quote:“It’s not your fault.” She sighed. “You can’t help it.” Almost like you're at least as bad and usually worse than all the teens you dismiss as beneath your perfection? quote:“You’re wrong,” I promised. She must hear the tenderness in my voice. "I'm an absolute psychopath about this!" quote:She stared back at me, furrowing her brows, teeth against her lip. For the millionth time, I wished desperately that I could just hear her. I do! quote:“Perceptive,” I breathed, and then watched in horror as pain twisted her expression. I hurried to contradict her assumption. “That’s exactly why you’re wrong, though—” I began, and then paused, remembering the first words of her explanation. They bothered me, though I didn’t understand them. “What do you mean, ‘the obvious’?” Okay Stephenie, let's calm down. quote:“You don’t see yourself very clearly, you know,” I told her. “I’ll admit you’re dead-on about the bad things.…” I laughed humorlessly. I did not find the evil fate who hunted her comical. The clumsiness, however, was sort of funny. Sweet. Would she believe me if I told her she was beautiful, inside and out? Perhaps she would find corroboration more persuasive. “But you didn’t hear what every human male in this school was thinking on your first day.” Always is! quote:Her face was blank with surprise. “I don’t believe it,” she mumbled. Are you kidding? This girl starts preparing to kill herself in battle days in advance! quote:She stared at me, concern replacing the anger in her eyes and bringing out the little pucker between them. How could Stephenie Meyer fellate herself like this with a straight face after writing the four main books? quote:I smiled. How I loved my excuse to stay. “Of course, keeping you safe is beginning to feel like a full-time occupation that requires my constant presence.” That's our girl! quote:Sorry, Alice thought again. She must have seen me wince. "I can only truly be happy when I feel big and powerful!" quote:“If I’d asked you, would you have turned me down?” I would take that as a challenge. quote:With perfect clarity, I remembered how her body had felt under mine after I’d thrown her out of the way of the oncoming van. Stronger than the panic or the desperation, I could remember that sensation. She’d been so warm and so soft, fitting easily into my own stone shape… No, we never get a reasonable explanation for why Edward thinks sparkling will cause horror and disgust. quote:“I’m open to alternatives,” Bella said. “But I do have a favor to ask.” So there's most of a page from the original draft that's cut out here. Alice not only shows Edward the vision of him in the meadow clearing, now with Bella clearly a part of it, but begins mentally screaming how much she loves Bella until Edward gets uncomfortable. It's a really bizarre moment that's meant to be the explanation for why Edward is so panicky and on-edge for these next sentences. quote:I wasn’t able to keep up the playful tone of our banter. “Won’t you want to tell your father that you’re spending the day with me?” I asked, darkness seeping into my voice as I thought of all the reasons that was important, already guessing what her answer would be. "Liberals! Atheists! The homosexual community! Single women!" quote:Her lips pressed together; she was offended. “Phoenix is three times bigger than Seattle—just in population. In physical size—” STOP REPEATING YOURSELF YOU gently caress quote:“I know.” I sighed. “You should tell Charlie, though.” Oh yeah, this wasn't a joke or anything! Edward really was threatening that he'd murder her out in the woods if he didn't have incentive not to! quote:Bella swallowed loudly and stared at me for a long moment. What did she see? Yes. quote:Will you shut up! Rosalie’s mental scream peaked, breaking into my absorption. I saw what she thought of this conversation, of exactly how much Bella already knew. I glanced back automatically to see Rosalie glowering furiously, but I realized I simply did not care. Let her destroy the car. It was just a toy. Rosalie is really regretting not killing this girl. quote:Bella pulled her expression together. “You know, bears are not in season,” she said severely, narrowing her eyes. Remember in Breaking Dawn when they were talking about how great it would be to finally have some exotic species to kill during their trip to the Amazon? quote:She listened with a politely interested expression, as if I were a guide in a museum describing a painting. I had to smile. I had made the joke, but I was right! It really is just a permanent grudge against bearkind! quote:“Nothing more fun than an irritated grizzly bear,” Bella agreed, nodding solemnly. So what, Carlisle eats capybara? Esme eats crying? quote:Her lips pulled up a tiny bit at the corners. “Perhaps,” she repeated. And if you were expecting a better explanation for Edward's emotions randomly changing sentence by sentence, nope! He just gets a fleeting thought in his mind and immediately begins growling and baring his teeth and making threats. quote:“Then why?” she demanded, undeterred. chitoryu12 fucked around with this message at 22:52 on Oct 1, 2020 |
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Oct 1, 2020 21:59
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You have a broken quote break in the third to last quote block.
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Oct 1, 2020 22:38
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I'd like to expand on this thought that Carlisle is a capybara at heart. Friend to all? Chill?
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Oct 2, 2020 00:15
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Chapter 12: Complicationsquote:Bella and I walked silently to Biology. We passed Angela Weber, lingering on the sidewalk, discussing an assignment with a boy from her Trigonometry class. I scanned her thoughts perfunctorily, expecting more disappointment, only to be surprised by their wistful tenor. Yours is absolutely nothing like hers, though! quote:In the next second, I was abruptly and thoroughly irritated. Because Angela’s story didn’t have to be tragic. She was human and he was human and the difference that seemed so insurmountable in her head was truly ridiculous compared to my own situation. There was no reason for her broken heart. What a wasteful sorrow. Why shouldn’t this one story have a happy ending? I wanted to give her a gift.… Many, many pages ago, I brought up Edward's offhand mention of "rewarding" Angela for being kind to Bella. And here's her reward: she gets a boyfriend! No happy single ladies in Meyer's canon! All must be paired up or perish! quote:The plan formed easily; the script wrote itself without effort on my part. I would need Emmett’s help—getting him to go along with this was the only real difficulty. Human nature was so much easier to manipulate than immortal nature. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_HTvfNUmltA YouTube comments indicate that Lorenzo's Oil was indeed common in classrooms, but it must have been before my time because I never saw it. Written and directed by George Miller (creator of the Happy Feet and Max Max series, because the guy has range), it's the true story of two parents whose son suddenly begins dying of the degenerative disease adrenoleukodystrophy (ALD). Undeterred by claims of its incurable nature, the two worked tirelessly with scientist Hugo Moser to discover the titular "oil" that would help their son. Lorenzo would indeed survive until the age of 30 before accidentally aspirating food and dying, and he avoided the worst locked-in symptoms, but Lorenzo's oil has mixed results in practice and is far from the miracle the film portrays it as. Even Moser has been cautious not to get anyone's hopes up. quote:It didn’t matter to me, either way. I hadn’t been planning on paying attention to anything but Bella. The sinfulness of....skin. quote:I had accused her of being a magnet for danger. Right now, it felt as though that was the literal truth. I was danger, and with every inch I allowed myself nearer to her, her attraction grew in force. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TAgnDbVNeyI quote:It was odd how much of a difference this made, considering that the lack of light meant little to my eyes. I could still see just as perfectly as before. Every detail of the room was clear. This is supposed to get its tension from Edward being at risk of killing her (and by extension the entire classroom), but it just reads like a Mormon romance novel where he's tempted by the forbidden touch of the opposite sex. quote:Bella folded her arms securely across her own chest, and her hands balled up into fists, identical to mine. See what I mean? quote:Between her body and mine, the electricity hummed.  quote:I chuckled at the relieved expression on her face. “Well, that was interesting.” Really? You've never said that before! quote:I sighed. No amount of wishing was going to help with that. No insidious contact! quote:She was very quiet as we walked toward the gym. The crease was in evidence between her eyes, a sign that she was deep in thought. I, too, was thinking deeply. "Identical to lots of other soap bubbles." quote:How long would I be able to justify my presence in her life? How much time did I have? Would I have another chance like this chance, like this moment, like this second? She would not always be within my arm’s reach. He's fighting his body like Dr. Strangelove with his hand. quote:I let my mind linger behind to watch her as I walked swiftly away, almost running from the temptation. I caught Mike Newton’s thoughts—they were the loudest—while he watched Bella walk past him in oblivion, her eyes unfocused and her cheeks red. He glowered and suddenly my name was mingled with curses in his head. I couldn’t help grinning slightly in response. "I'll just spend eternity sitting and staring and making weird twisted-up faces at how miserable I am." quote:I took a deep breath and tried to steady my thoughts. Sigh. quote:I stopped walking and caught Emmett’s arm. “Hold on a second.” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NeK5ZjtpO-M quote:He stared at me when I was done, his thoughts as blank as his face. A brother better than you, yes. quote:Emmett didn’t need to practice. I whispered his lines to him once under my breath as we walked into the classroom. This is so bad. quote:Edward Cullen was going to ask Angela out? But… no. I don’t like that. I don’t want him near her. He’s… not right for her. Not… safe. "He keeps staring at Bella without blinking and breathing really heavily..." quote:I hadn’t anticipated the chivalry, the protective instinct. I’d been aiming for jealousy. But whatever worked. The actual number of students for the 2017-2018 school year at Forks High School was 453. Maybe you'd remember everyone in your individual classes. quote:Ben’s head was whirling with shock. Me? Over Edward Cullen? But why would she like me? Holy poo poo, she remember POC exist! quote:“Huh,” I said arrogantly as I turned back to Emmett. "I am the matchmaker!" quote:I gave Emmett a thumbs up under the desk as Mrs. Goff stood and greeted the class. No it wasn't. It was uncomfortable and weird. quote:I smiled to myself, pleased that I’d been able to shape one love story’s forward progress. I was positive that Ben would follow through, and Angela would receive my anonymous gift. My debt was repaid.
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Oct 4, 2020 00:14
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https://twitter.com/ryankingdom_/status/1312482718819606529
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Oct 4, 2020 18:50
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quote:My success put me in a good mood. I smiled again as I settled into my chair and prepared to be entertained. After all, as Bella had pointed out at lunch, I’d never seen her in action in Gym class before. No it's not, you piece of poo poo! quote:“Thanks, Mike—you don’t have to do this, you know.” Edward just teleports into the center of the gym, grabbing Bella and wailing toward the sky like she's fallen in battle. quote:The coach laughed. “Sorry, Newton.” That girl’s the worst jinx I’ve ever seen. Shouldn’t inflict her on the others. This is actually a deleted scene from Twilight! The final book reduces it to a few seconds, but the original draft spent almost a page recounting everything we saw here down to Mike circling his arm. quote:Bella didn’t venture into the game again. The coach ignored her and let Mike play alone. What? It's not like you have a great personality! quote:“That’s none of your business, Mike.” Why are we supposed to hate Mike after this? He's the only one clued in! quote:Mike turned, thoughts sullen, and wandered off to change. There is nothing bright about this girl except maybe academically. quote:Just like that, my mood was soaring. That's a first. quote:“Really?” I asked, about to press the issue—I was still concerned about her head; was she in pain?—but then Mike Newton’s thoughts were so loud, they broke my concentration. I thought Meyer was supposed to be making us hate Mike? quote:“What?” Bella demanded. "I had no choice but to stalk you! Really!" quote:She didn’t answer. Her eyebrows pulled together. She came to a sudden halt in the parking lot when she realized that the way to my car was blocked by a crowd of mostly male students.  quote:“Are you still angry?” I asked her. Her frown had relaxed. Yes, that is Edward "the perfect man for me and every girl reading this" Cullen straight up saying that under no circumstances will he ever obey his girlfriend's request to stop spying on her every move. quote:“How about if I mean it, and I agree to let you drive this Saturday?” I shuddered internally at the thought. And his apology wasn't even real! He just used his powers on purpose to stun her and make it seem like it! quote:“And I’ll be on your doorstep bright and early Saturday morning,” I added, finishing the agreement. I know this is because he's just going to use his super speed to run to her house, but this reads like Bella has no concept of walking to someone else's house, or getting a ride. quote:She put her head to one side, and looked for a second as though she was going to press for more, but then seemed to change her mind. It's like Meyer realized she wrote Bella as a smooth liar that everyone fell for during the rest of the series and now feels the need to yell at the audience about not trusting her writing. quote:I tried not to smile, and failed. “I apologize for scaring you.” And then my smile vanished with the momentary humor. “It was just the very thought of you being there… while we hunted.” Of course, we already know this is bullshit. Not only does Emmett have a hell of a time taunting bears and getting into roaring contests with them, Edward is so perfectly composed and heroic that he doesn't even spill a drop of blood or muss his collar. quote:I shook my head in agony at the thought of what would—not what might, but what would—surely happen then. Someone send Meyer back through biology class and ask her to explain why Bella's pupils are dilating mid-conversation. quote:My breathing accelerated, and suddenly the quiet in the car seemed to be humming, just as in the darkened Biology room this afternoon. The electric current raced between us again, and my desire to touch her was, briefly, stronger even than the demands of my thirst. "The sheer beauty of my gaze upon those I deem worthy is not for mortal ken!" quote:I did not believe that any member of my family—except possibly Emmett—would hesitate if he or she were offered a chance back, if he or she could trade immortality for mortality again. Rosalie and I, Carlisle, too, would stand in fire for it. Burn for as many days or centuries as were necessary. "Emmett just thinks it's the coolest loving thing, though. Just radical." quote:But none of us, not even Rosalie, had ever been as desperate for a way back as I was now. Nothing about your relationship is fair! You have all the advantages in it! quote:“Oh, Bella?” And here, finally, we have reached the turning point. This is the end of the Midnight Sun draft. From this point forward, all text has never before been seen. quote:My house appeared calm and silent from the outside as I drove past, heading for the garage. But I could hear the turmoil—both spoken aloud and silently thought—inside. I threw one wistful glance in the direction of my favorite car—still pristine, for now—before I headed out to face the beautiful ogre under the bridge. I couldn’t even make the short walk from the garage to the house before being accosted. And Edward is...apologizing? Not being smug? quote:I could see that she was surprised by the lack of sarcasm in my voice, my quick capitulation. But she was too angry to accept apologies yet. And we immediately get smacked by all the Eclipse character development that Meyer had spitefully ignored! quote:Though Rosalie was trying not to think all these things while she waited for my answer, she couldn’t keep them entirely out of her head. That's because Emmett is better than you. quote:Seeing this—our similarities—so clearly made it even easier to excuse the venom-tipped needles that Rose was still thinking my way. "Especially one who would try so hard to get him to spill the beans!" quote:Jasper listened to Carlisle’s response, and he was concerned. But his thoughts were more about leaving with Alice than silencing the Quileutes. Alice was already watching his ideas for the future, and preparing to refute them. She had no intention of going anywhere. Remember in Breaking Dawn how none of the Cullens seemed at all surprised that Alice and Jasper would panic and flee to save themselves if the family was in danger, to the point where they purposefully ignored all evidence to the contrary to keep crying about how they left them all to die? Turns out it's because Jasper is that guy! quote:“Hardly bad luck,” Rosalie said through her teeth. “It’s Edward’s fault that the girl knows anything.” "I have completely new context for my entire narrative." quote:She whirled and stalked off toward the garage. But she was the one bluffing. If it wouldn’t hurt me, there was no point to the exercise. Of all my family, she was the only one who loved cars the way I did. Mine was too beautiful to vandalize for no reason.
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Oct 5, 2020 23:25
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I'm reading Varney the Vampyre at the moment and the humans in that are hilariously overwrought in that 'if I think of such a thing, I shall DIE' way. They'd fit in really well here.
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Oct 5, 2020 23:43
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Chapter 13: Another Complicationquote:I did not feel the usual guilt when I returned to Bella's room that night, though I knew I should. But it felt like the correct course of action—the only right thing to be doing. I was there to burn my throat as much as possible. I would train myself to ignore her scent. It could be accomplished. I would not allow this to be a difficulty between us. Easier said than done. But I knew this helped. Practice. Embrace the pain, let that be the strongest reaction. Beat the element of desire entirely out of myself. See guys, it's not just stalking now! He's training himself! He's just meditating! quote:There was no peace in Bella’s dreams. And no peace for me, watching her twitch restlessly and hearing her whisper my name over and over. The physical pull, that overwhelming chemistry from the darkened classroom, was even stronger here in her night-black bedroom. Though she was not aware of my presence, she seemed to feel it, too. There's just so many random moments in Twilight where Edward was secretly standing there! quote:I wished there was some action I could take, as before with the warm blanket from the cupboard. But I could only watch as I burned, useless to her. It was a relief when she finally sank into a dreamless unconsciousness. Edward just reaching so hard to talk about genetic inheritance of psychic powers while still pretending he's got no idea what Bella is. quote:The combination of his inarticulate thoughts and his spoken words were enough for me to piece together his general mindset this morning. He was worried about Bella, physically and emotionally. He felt similarly concerned about the idea of Bella roaming Seattle alone as I would—only not quite so maniacally. Then again, his information was not as up-to-date as mine; he had no idea about the number of close calls she’d lived through recently. Even more reasons to say that CHARLIE DIDN'T DESERVE ANY OF THIS quote:I retrieved my car while Charlie loaded his. As soon as he had driven around the corner, I pulled into the driveway to wait. I saw the curtain twitch in her window, then heard her stumbling footsteps race down the stairs. We're only expanding the Mormon dress code further from the floor-length khaki skirt. quote:This was supposed to be about her reactions, but I was abruptly overwhelmed with my own. I didn’t know how I could feel so peaceful with everything that was hanging over both our heads, but being with her was an antidote to pain and anxiety.  quote:She laughed, and I absorbed the sound of her happiness. "Also, you never want to hear the answer to that and stop asking!" quote:The little frown mark appeared between her eyebrows. “Oh, that’s right. What do you want to know?” Her tone was slightly skeptical, as though she couldn’t believe I had any real interest. She seemed to have no idea how curious I was. Good job, dumbass. quote:“Sure,” she said, and then she was unexpectedly on the defensive. Perhaps I should have expected this. She never liked judgments. “Brown is warm. I miss brown. Everything that’s supposed to be brown—tree trunks, rocks, dirt—is all covered up with squashy green stuff here!” I wasn't kidding, guys. quote:Not what I was expecting. Nobody was! quote:As I pulled the identical CD from my car’s music cache, I tried to imagine what this album meant to her. It didn’t seem to match any of her moods that I’d seen, but then, there was so much I didn’t know. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M8UTS2iFXOo RIP Chester. You finally got to be part of a Twilight book. quote:I thought through all the lyrics quickly. Oh yeah, remember how Bella was kept a completely blank slate originally and all of these answers were left unseen by the reader? gently caress that! You're gonna read every last loving one of them! quote:“Tell me when you think of them,” I suggested as we walked toward her English class. “While you consider that, tell me what your favorite scent is.” What the gently caress. quote:I smiled at her enthusiasm. Oh God, Edward probably had opinions on the sequel trilogy. quote:We fell into step. Already it felt natural to shorten my stride, to lower my head so it was closer to hers. Holy poo poo, they have backstory! And personality! Renee's no longer just a clumsy puppet! quote:“Where’s the farthest place from home you’ve ever been?” I asked, starting to become a little concerned. That's a drat good amount of travel for 17, dude! quote:“Gattaca,” she said, chewing a bite of apple with a thoughtful expression. She hadn’t noticed my sudden mood shift. “That was a good one. Have you seen it?” Something we're not familiar with! quote:I grinned and she continued without prompting. “Jane Eyre. I read that one pretty often, too. That’s my idea of a heroine. Everything by any Brontë. To Kill a Mockingbird, obviously. Fahrenheit 451. All of the Chronicles of Narnia, but especially The Voyage of the Dawn Treader. Gone with the Wind. Douglas Adams and David Eddings and Orson Scott Card and Robin McKinley. Did I already say L. M. Montgomery?” I bet Jo Walton just got a confusing bump in sales. quote:I could see elements of the stories in her makeup—characters that had shaped the context of her world. There was a bit of Jane Eyre in her, a portion of Scout Finch and Jo March, a measure of Elinor Dashwood, and Lucy Pevensie. I was sure I would find more connections as I learned more about her. Too bad literally none of these personality traits existed! quote:It was like putting together a puzzle, one with hundreds of thousands of pieces, and no depiction of the complete image to serve as a guide. Time-consuming, with many false leads, but ultimately I would be able to see the whole picture. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9uicvPZSKIM Somewhere in Time is a very unique movie, one that I've never seen but am quite familiar with. Christopher Reeve plays a man who uses hypnosis to time travel back to 1912 on Mackinac Island at the southern tip of the Michigan UP, hunting for the strange elderly woman who seems to have been his lover in the past. What's most unique about this film is that Mackinac Island steadfastly refuses to modernize its methods of transport on the island, to ensure a traditional way of life reminiscent of its golden age at the turn of the century. Cars are banned except for a handful of emergency vehicles and snowmobiles, leaving horses and bicycles the main method of transport around the tiny town. Tourism is the only industry, with the town having a population of only about 500 but ballooning dramatically as seasonal workers are hired to handle the summer crunch. Much of the island is uninhabited state park. The Grand Hotel seen in the film has been open since 1887 and only recently got air conditioning in a way that wouldn't unacceptably mar its appearance; they still regularly show Somewhere in Time outdoors on the lawn. I've been on two short trips to the island. On my last one I hiked 8 miles across the inland park before collapsing back in my bed, plus hiked all the way back up from town another day to tour the fort overlooking the lake. It's one of the oddest vacation destinations you can find in Michigan. quote:“Tell me about the music you like.” I definitely understand this. quote:I laughed with her, but wished I could see and hear that. I imagined her on a bright road, winding through the desert with the windows down, the sun bringing out the red shine in her hair. I wished I knew what her mother looked like, and even what kind of car it was, so my picture could be more precise. I wanted to be there with her, to listen to her sing badly, to watch her smile in the sun. Same. quote:I wondered if she was afraid to go into detail, worried again about me being bored. Maybe a few softball questions would relax her. Correct. quote:“Favorite ice cream?” Any...shared interests? Or opinions? quote:“What’s your favorite gemstone?” Christ, man. quote:She didn’t look up. She twisted a strand of her hair back and forth between her fingertips. "What are your thoughts on black dahlias?" quote:“You don’t like to watch sports, but did you ever play on a team?” "She won't allow me back in the building or she'll call the National Guard." quote:She looked up suddenly. All around us, the other students were gathering their things. How had the time passed so quickly? It's like an awkward movie date. quote:There was so much I didn’t understand about her. So much I couldn’t ask. And that's Meyer trying to cover for why this chapter in the original book was just Edward dispassionately reciting questions before silently stroking her cheek and walking away. quote:I walked away from her quickly again, knowing that this one aspect of my self-control was compromised, my hand smarting in the same painless way. "Perhaps you can become a tanner's apprentice one day." quote:Bella was in Gym, but as in the second half of yesterday’s class, she did not participate. Her eyes were far away whenever Mike Newton turned to look at her. She was obviously elsewhere in her head. Mike guessed that anything he had to say to her would be unwelcome. Gasp! Shield these impure thoughts from your virginal brain, Cullen! You know not what they will do to your innocence! quote:I didn’t like his perspective. As though Bella had no will of her own. Surely, she’d been the one to choose, hadn’t she? If she had ever asked me to leave her alone, I would have turned around and walked the other way. But she’d wanted me to stay, then and now. Edward is having his overly dramatic sparkle reveal and his siblings are holding a death pool back home. This is incredible. quote:Emmett squirmed in his seat, well aware what my total motionlessness indicated. Just inject it right into my veins. quote:Thirteen minutes. So....what are they betting? quote:What was the point of stoking my anger? Should I blame them for their inability to understand? How could they?
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Oct 8, 2020 02:33
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The new material isn’t terrible when Bella has something resembling a personality and Edward has moments of awkwardly trying to learn about the girl he likes.
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Oct 8, 2020 08:45
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Of course one of the only dragon novels Bella likes is the one that's just a Victorian romance but with dragons.
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Oct 8, 2020 14:45
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quote:When Bella walked through the gymnasium door and saw me, a smile spread across her face. I felt the same relief I had in the car this morning. All my doubts and torments seemed to lift from my shoulders. I knew that they were still very real, but the weight was so much easier to carry when I could see her. "That question doesn't even make sense if it's about all of those at once!" quote:“Please?” I asked as I held her door for her. It's a story I want to go into! quote:She waited, wondering if I would elaborate. She's leaving out that Phoenix has some of the scariest drivers I've ever encountered. I once saw a woman with a smashed-up car cut across every lane of traffic to turn, one hand clutching her roof, screaming. quote:I stopped the car in front of her house. My usual spot.  What would be much more helpful is if Edward knew something surprisingly poignant about creosote for a vampire story: as the oldest branches die, the stem crown splits into many separate crowns that form new bushes. This results in a clonal colony, essentially a continuation of the same organism. Pictured above is "King Clone", a creosote clonal colony in the Mojave Desert, which is estimated at 11,700 years old and thus one of the oldest organisms on Earth. Left undisturbed, it's one of the closest things to an immortal being that we get. quote:“On the contrary. What else have I missed, not visiting Arizona?” Welcome to the south, motherfuckers! quote:"What else?" I've mentioned how Meyer specifically grew up in Scottsdale, a part of the Phoenix area famously full of golf courses. quote:“What’s your favorite place to spend time?” Imagine having to wait over 10 loving years just for Bella Swan to be given backstory. You guys are the lucky ones. quote:She was quiet for a long time, turning this over in her head. That was....actually cute and had some chemistry to it? What the gently caress? quote:“Have I sold you on Phoenix yet?” she asked after another quiet moment. Who are you and what have you done with our Bella Swan? quote:I thought of everything that was hidden from her here, and I wondered if her words meant that she was aware of this, of the invisible darkness gathered around her. But she stared at me with no judgment in her eyes. There's nothing unusual about that? quote:“What is your bedroom like?” This book is giving us so much detail that it's practically retconning the series! We get more detail on Renee's personality (even with a whole spare bedroom to herself normally, she still can't resist taking over her daughter's bedroom on a whim even if her disappearance is temporary), but this early Bella is already starting to show second thoughts about returning to taking care of her mother. As much as she loves her and for all the good memories they've had, there's clearly some form of tension. This is....actual characterization and backstory that makes sense. What series am I reading? quote:“What was your room like when you lived there?” Okay but thunderstorms are great. quote:The thought of rain had me glancing at the sky, and then being shocked by the dimness of the light. I couldn’t understand the way time bent and compressed when I was with her. How was our allotment up already? No, Peter, you already did this one. quote:I looked down to find her staring curiously at me, hearing more in my tone than just the words I’d spoken. If Bella wasn't still in high school, this boy would have just driven off to Alaska right there on the spot with her. quote:“Charlie will be here in a few minutes,” I told her. I could just hear a hint of his mind, perhaps a mile out, driving slowly this way. His mind was on her. “So, unless you want to tell him that you’ll be with me Saturday…” You need to make it a kokoro wish, fool! quote:She started to organize her things as she prepared to leave. “So is it my turn tomorrow, then?” she asked. She glanced up at me with bright, curious eyes. Unevenly? Edward, she has a heart arrhythmia! You need to get her to a hospital immediately! quote:And then I froze, my hand on her door handle. Well, I think we all know who this is! quote:I didn’t concentrate on the boy, though I’m sure I would have enjoyed the knowledgeable interest another day. I opened her door, throwing it wider than necessary, then I jerked away, leaning forward toward the oncoming lights, waiting. From Bella's perspective, this was a pretty random and confusing scene. From Edward's perspective, things are real loving awkward. quote:But I was mostly focused on the father, the one who knew. Ah, good ol' Jacob. Before he got destroyed in the name of love triangles and pedophilia. quote:I passed Charlie as I went around the next corner, slowing automatically as he noted my speed with a businesslike frown. He continued home, and I could hear the muffled surprise in his thoughts, wordless but clear, as he took in the car waiting in front of his house. He forgot all about the silver Volvo that had been speeding. Ohhhh buddy. quote:In the front room, Charlie had noticed Billy’s abstraction, but did not ask. There was some strain between them—an old disagreement from long ago. Yes, because Carlisle's not a murderer! Well, not until Breaking Dawn. Man, that book was even more of a mess in retrospect. quote:I could hear his thoughts in the emergency ward. He was examining a delivery truck driver from Olympia with a deep puncture wound in his hand. I walked into the lobby, recognizing Jenny Austin at the desk. She was preoccupied with a call from her teenage daughter and barely acknowledged my wave as I passed her. Of course Edward, being an rear end in a top hat, still defaults to murder as a solution to his problems. quote:He shook his head slowly, puzzling about the best course of action. There didn’t seem to be one, other than ignoring this unlucky encounter. I’d already come to the same conclusion. Oh yeah, Edward hasn't even been back home properly in days except for that quick stop in the last chapter! He's just been stalking Bella every night! quote:I spent the evening with my mother, letting her fuss over me a bit. She made me change into dry clothes—more to protect the floors she’d spent so much time finishing than anything else. The others had cleared out, and I saw that this was her request; Carlisle had called ahead. I appreciated the quiet. We sat at the piano together and I played as we talked. Correct, all of this is your fault! quote:It’s not your fault, either. Yes, 100%! It's literally just you who's breaking basic human boundaries and fantasizing about murdering boys who have a crush on a girl you barely knew until this week! Esme is completely wrong! quote:I hate to see you suffer. But did Carlisle make a bet? The book hasn't said either way! quote:What will it mean for him, if she dies? Emmett's still the ultimate bro. quote:“I doubt he’ll disappoint you there.” "Also, who will be the first to tell her that you're biologically less than a decade older than her? She might find the 'mom' thing really weird." quote:She kept her arms around me, and after a few moments I laid my head against the top of hers. She sighed, and hugged me tighter. It made me feel vaguely childlike. As I had told Bella, I didn’t have memories of being a child, nothing concrete. But there was a kind of sense memory in the feeling of her arms around me. My first mother must have held me, too; it must have comforted me in the same way. "It's mostly just padding out the word count at this point." quote:And the hardest part?
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Oct 9, 2020 06:44
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Chapter 14: Closer https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ccY25Cb3im0 What? They let Linkin Park in! quote:It was peaceful in Bella's room tonight. Even the fitful rain, which usually made her uneasy, did not disturb her. Despite the pain, I was peaceful, too—calmer than I’d been in my own home with my mother’s arms around me. Bella mumbled my name in her sleep, as she often did, and smiled as she said it. Still disturbing! quote:She pursed her lips. “Can I ask what you did?” Wow, Renee manages to be even worse than we expected! "I'm sorry I can't give you any kind of stability or a consistent income while raising you! I'm just so wild and free! Please do all the adult stuff for me~" quote:I nodded thoughtfully, sifting through this mine of information. I wished I could meet this woman who had shaped so much of Bella’s character. Part of me would have preferred that Bella had an easier, more traditional childhood—that she could have gotten to be the child. But she wouldn’t have been the same person, and truly, she didn’t seem resentful in any way. She liked to be the caretaker, liked to be needed. Oh, but that's okay, because Bella secretly has a desire to take care of people like any good future mother! quote:Perhaps this was the real secret as to why she was drawn to me. Had anyone ever needed her more? Now for Jessica to dramatically fling herself across the bleachers to wail in agony. quote:The word startled me. Nobody in their life has used the phrase "stared through the clerestory windows." quote:Oh! Alice’s sudden stillness alerted me at the same time as her mental exclamation. The picture in her mind was of the cafeteria at some near future date and… Alice is just grinding him under her heel. quote:I closed my eyes and shook my head. “No, it won’t be very much,” I agreed quietly as we walked together. Or just let her pick her own food, jackass! quote:“Tell me about your first date,” I said. They probably figured nobody would show up to watch D2: The Mighty Ducks on purpose. quote:I’d seen the school pictures in her father’s house, so I had a mental reference for eleven-year-old Bella. It sounded like things weren’t so different for her then. “That’s perhaps setting the bar a little too low.” That's a very casual way of mentioning you sneaking through her house! quote:She grinned. “You said the lowest setting.” I had the same thing happen on a roller rink field trip! quote:“Shall we skip to an actual date?” Wow, living with Renee sounds like the worst thing ever! quote:“Hold that thought,” I interrupted. “Before we move on to the next subject, I’d like to finish this one. If you hadn’t been so busy, were any of these invitations ones you would have liked to accept?” You're right, this is extremely warped and unhealthy! Good to hear it! Book's over! quote:“I know it’s not my day, but—” Come on, she did a cannonball! quote:“Which college would you like to go to?” I asked. "They taste great!" quote:“Nothing against the institution—just the weather.” Please read the story again. quote:It was easy to see that she wouldn’t be happy in my usual haunts. Obviously. But as long as she wanted me, I would follow her. It would mean many slow days indoors, but that was such a negligible price, it was barely worth noting. I dunno, Meyer's editors don't seem to be working too hard! quote:Her dreams all had clipped wings—not like those of the usual teenager off to conquer the world. Obviously a product of facing realities long before she should have had to. Sparkling [quote[I wanted to believe that there was a third possibility. That she would forgive what I was as she had done so often in the past. That she would accept me despite everything. But I couldn’t picture it. Would I have the nerve to keep my promise? Could I live with myself if I hid this from her? I thought of the first time I’d seen Carlisle in the sun. I was very young then, still obsessed with blood over anything else, but that sight had caught my attention the way little else had. Though I trusted Carlisle utterly, though I’d already begun to love him, I felt fear. It was all too impossible, too alien. The instinct to defend myself was triggered, and it was several long moments before his calm and reassuring thoughts could have any effect on me. Eventually he talked me into stepping forward myself, to see that the phenomenon did no harm. And I remembered seeing myself in the brilliant morning light and realizing—more profoundly than I ever had thus far—that I had no relationship at all to my former self. That I was not human.[/quote] Yes, it is literally just Edward who freaks out and has this reaction to sparkling. Every other vampire is cool with it. quote:But it wasn’t fair to hide myself from her. It was a lie of omission. There's the bizarre interjection with Alice I mentioned had been deleted from a previous chapter, where Edward suddenly starts acting weird and twitchy in the cafeteria while talking to Bella about hunting. quote:Edward, we have to talk. Because it's all about you, right? quote:She saw the future shift as my mind changed. Thank you. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K44ayeXvYOo quote:Bella pursed her lips and her eyes went opaque. “All right,” she said. Was she doubting my abilities? We're 45% through the book! Stop that! quote:She looked down, her face blanching paler than before. Would she finally listen? Alice’s vision would mean nothing if Bella told me now to leave her alone. I knew I could do it, if it was what Bella asked for. My heart felt poised to rip in half. "My glistening 24-karat nipples?" quote:“And if you don’t come home?” I asked through my teeth. “What will he think?” Lost like so many socks. quote:I glared at her—I did not find her joke humorous in the slightest. She scowled back for a moment, and then her face relaxed. Thank you, Rose. quote:Bella made a face. “Neither do I, for that matter.” Our queen returns! quote:Bella’s face went white. She looked frozen, as though she couldn’t look away from the back corner of the room.  quote:“I’m sorry about that,” I murmured quickly. “She’s just worried.”It irritated me to have to defend Rosalie’s behavior, but I couldn’t think of another way to explain. And at the heart of Rosalie’s hostility, this was the true issue. “You see… it’s dangerous for more than just me if, after spending so much time with you so publicly…”  quote:It was right to have her know. This would be the moment when she would walk away. And that was good. My first, instinctive rejection of Alice’s panic was wearing off. I couldn’t honestly promise Bella that I was no danger to her. That movie earned Academy Award nominations, buster! quote:I guessed that this was true—that I would not have been able to endure. That I would have made more mistakes. "How about 'Try not to cry too much'?" quote:I smiled at her. “No, ‘Have fun’ works as well as anything.”
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Oct 12, 2020 23:56
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I accidentally clicked submit too early so here's the rest of the chapter!quote:Alice was waiting in the car. Alice is just the dog from Duck Hunt. quote:The images refined. Alice would go in alone, I saw, through the front door. She decided a dozen different places to look for an extra house key, then located it when she resolved to check under the eaves over the front door. 1950s pickups aren't that noisy. Is Bella's truck really functioning right? quote:I looked at the rusty behemoth, imagining Bella in it. It had survived Tyler’s van with barely a scratch, but obviously there were no airbags or crumple zones. I felt my eyebrows pull together.
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Oct 13, 2020 00:01
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My body apparently hates me extra hard, because I pulled a back muscle AND damaged my shoulder somehow!
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Oct 15, 2020 21:30
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Stay gold, chitoryu12. You still have yet to publish in book-form your literary-criticism on the James Bond canon.
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Oct 15, 2020 22:28
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Chapter 15: Probabilityquote:"Now, Alice," I began as I shut my door. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cphNpqKpKc4 quote:“It can’t still be valid. You didn’t see it again, you just remembered it.” "You're completely incapable of mature behavior for her safety." quote:“I’ll leave.” Oh yeah, this book will get into some New Moon future predicting. And you're not gonna like where it ends up! quote:I hated it when Alice spoke like that, in her strange present-future tense, which made it sound like the tragedy was happening right now. Remember this conversation for the end of the book! quote:“I should never have come back,” I whispered. Oh, this is a pleasant thing to learn about our True Love. quote:Still no pictures, but I didn’t need them to understand. I reeled away from her, nearly losing control of the car. I stomped on the brake, and pulled off the road. The tires tore into the ferns and threw patches of moss onto the pavement.  quote:It’s sixty-forty… ish. Maybe even sixty-five-thirty-five. There’s still a good chance you won’t kill her. Her tone was one of encouragement. This is far from the craziest abstract use of Alice's powers in this book! quote:All her paths are leading to one point—all her paths are knotted together. Whether that point is in the meadow, or somewhere else, she’s tied to that moment of decision. Your decision, her decision.… Some of the threads continue on the other side. Some… Raise your hand if you remember Edward passing a trial in the original book. quote:My teeth ground together. This might be the single most useless set of paragraphs in the entire book. We've seen everything. Why would you waste time on this when the only people reading Midnight Sun know that Bella's going to be a vampire in a little over a year's time? If this had been the actual first book published, it would have some kind of meaning. It would seem like obvious foreshadowing, only to turn into a red herring when the unexpected pregnancy leads to Bella's transformation to save her life. But we all know what happens, and that this isn't it. It's a worthless fakeout written as if we have no idea what's going on. quote:“Thank you, Alice,” I whispered. I put the car into drive, and pulled onto the road again, cutting off a minivan chugging along under the limit. I accelerated automatically, barely registering the process. "We have dozens of pages for that later!" quote:“Thanks, Alice,” I said again, caustically this time. "It really is just you who's a useless mess." quote:I love you. You can do this. God, this guy just goes for it without hesitation, doesn't he? quote:But how? Carlisle had exhausted most of the possibilities in the beginning of his new life, and had never come close to ending his own story, despite his very real determination to do so. I would have no success acting alone. Is this canon confirmation that Carlisle just never once considered a huge bonfire as a possible suicide method? Or a steel mill Terminator 2 style? quote:Any of my family would be capable of doing it for me, but I knew that none of them would, no matter how I begged. Even Rosalie, who I’m sure would claim to be angry enough to do it, who might bluster and threaten the next time I saw her, would not. Because even though she sometimes hated me, she always loved me. And I knew if I could trade places with any of them, I would feel and act exactly the same way. I would not be able to harm any of my family, no matter how much pain they were in, no matter how much they wanted out. That is not how Rosalie was in the original draft! I'm pretty sure that version would have sold Edward for a candy bar she couldn't even eat! quote:There were others.… But Carlisle’s friends wouldn’t help me. They would never betray him so. I could think of one place I might go with the power to end the monster very quickly… but doing that would put Bella in danger. Though I’d not been the one to tell her the truth about myself, she knew things she was forbidden to know. It was nothing that would ever bring her the wrong kind of attention, unless I did something stupid, like go to Italy. And why would he ever do that? quote:It was too bad the Quileute treaty was toothless these days. Three generations ago, all I would have had to do was walk to La Push. A useless idea now. Have I got news for you! quote:So those ways of killing the monster weren’t possible. Hey, buddy: that monster is you. It's not a separate demon that you can blame your mistakes on. I know, "It's almost impossible to resist, like an addiction!" but this seems like some very bad messaging for someone who's trying to justify doing bad things and not feeling bad about them later! quote:I sighed. Was there any choice but to face this head-on? Did it count as courage if one was compelled? I was sure it did not. Alice has brought a script and is going to coach Edward on how to talk to humans without being weird? quote:Alice saw my action before I took it, and she was out her door and running before I had opened my own. I felt a shallow sensation of humor and almost smiled. She could never outrun me; she always tried to cheat. This would be very bad out of context! quote:“Thanks, Alice, but—” Conservationists, you said you were? quote:There never was much point in fighting with Alice. I shrugged and passed her. I’d caught the scent now. It was easy to shift into another mode—just let the blood pull me forward as I stalked my prey. But if Alice knew the future, wouldn't she know that this isn't doing anything to help him because he's been gorging for days? quote:“Thank you,” I told her, to be courteous. The blue blouse and what else, Edward? quote:As for how, I’m not entirely sure. This is just an outlying chance, but I wanted Jasper prepared. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0u6QAjMjtLM quote:“Please!” she said. “Like I was going to pass up such an opportunity. This isn’t just about Bella. I’m relatively confident that she’ll be fine. This is about teaching Rosalie and Jasper some respect.”
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Oct 19, 2020 01:42
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I've finally caught up! I thought this was just going to be a fun nostalgia trip, but oof, these books are so much worse than I'd remembered. Literally the only part of the books I enjoyed for some reason were a couple of first chapters from Twilight and even now Ed's POV completely ruined that for me. The new content is definitely a step up in quality fwiw. Although Alice's power gets worse every time it's mentioned.quote:“And if you could go anywhere—if the cost were no object—where would you go?” Ugh, I cringed when I read this sentence. I hate that Edward is interested in Bella's passions and dreams only in terms of gifts he can give her. And I hear this particular question a lot from my dad and it always makes me anxious. Like I can't just talk to him about about stuff I think is cool because he immediately goes "YOU WANT IT?? YOU'LL GET IT!! AND DON'T WORRY ABOUT THE COST!!". Like he can't connect with any interests I have in other way than buying poo poo. I feel like it's kinda ridiculous to be upset about it but it's so uncomfortable.
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Oct 20, 2020 22:49
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macabresca posted:Ugh, I cringed when I read this sentence. I hate that Edward is interested in Bella's passions and dreams only in terms of gifts he can give her. And I hear this particular question a lot from my dad and it always makes me anxious. Like I can't just talk to him about about stuff I think is cool because he immediately goes "YOU WANT IT?? YOU'LL GET IT!! AND DON'T WORRY ABOUT THE COST!!". Like he can't connect with any interests I have in other way than buying poo poo. I feel like it's kinda ridiculous to be upset about it but it's so uncomfortable. It's a valid criticism, because it further shows how truly shallow their relationship is. They have very little in common and almost no shared interests except some of the same books and music. They don't do anything or go on dates, and the one time they actually go out and do something other than cuddle and stare into each other's eyes (the honeymoon) it's an intentional attempt by Edward to keep her too exhausted for sex. And in some ways, the way the plot is written across the books means a lot of this can't happen. Setting aside times when they're actually engaging in plot stuff like preparing for Victoria's army or the Cullens being gone for almost all of New Moon, there's always some sort of drama or offscreen school stuff taking up time. Charlie can barely stand Edward for most of the book because from his perspective it's an insane abusive relationship, so you're never going to see Edward joining him on a fishing trip or taking over the kitchen to cook the family a nice dinner. We see these visions from Alice of Bella hanging out at the Cullen house as besties, but we never see her do that. So with nothing else, all Edward can do on the page is spend money. Even when Bella doesn't want it, he'll buy her wildly expensive things and go so far as to kill her truck to force her to accept a new car. He's like an empty shell who just learned "People like it when you buy them nice things" and just hits the switch until love comes out.
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Oct 20, 2020 23:23
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quote:No one but my mother and father were home when we returned. Emmett had no doubt warned the others to make themselves scarce. It didn’t matter to me one way or another. I didn’t have the energy to care about their stupid game. Alice, too, ran off in search of Jasper. I was grateful for the thinning of the mental conversations. It helped me a little as I tried to concentrate. So he has no way of preparing for the worst case scenario in case it happens! Great! quote:I gave him one tight nod in acknowledgment as I passed him. He knew what it meant—that I was aware of all his fears, and that I had no good answer. With a sigh, he nodded back. He followed up the stairs more slowly, and I heard him join Esme in her study. They didn’t speak. I tried to ignore what she thought as she analyzed his expression: her alarm, her pain. Is that a thing vampires do? They just forget the distinction between doors and windows and use whatever's closest? quote:At first I moved slowly, at barely more than human speed, as I showered, cleaning the residue of the forest from my skin and hair. As before, in the car, I felt damaged, impaired, as if my strength had been drained away. All in my head, of course. It would be nothing but a miracle, a gift, if I could somehow truly lose my strength. If I could be weak, harmless, a danger to no one. The excitement of Midnight Sun: Edward standing naked in his bedroom agonizing over how disgusting his sparkles are. quote:I rarely gave what I wore a first thought, let alone a second. Alice stocked my closet with a wide variety of items that all seemed to go together. The main point of clothing was to help us blend in—to embrace the current time period’s fashion, to downplay our pallor, and to cover as much of our skin as possible without looking shockingly out of season. Alice pushed the limits within those constraints, offended by the idea of trying to make us look unnoticeable. She chose her own clothing and dressed the rest of us as a form of artistic expression. Our skin was covered, its pallid hue was never put in contrast with deeper tones, and we certainly were up to the minute with current style. But blend we did not. It seemed a harmless indulgence, like the cars we drove. They really are the worst! They just don't even care about hiding from humans! quote:Alice’s forward-thinking taste aside, all my clothes were, if nothing else, designed for maximum coverage. If I were going to fulfill the spirit of my promise to Bella, I would need more than my hands exposed. The smaller my exposure, the easier it would be for her to compartmentalize my disease. She needed to see me for what I was. According to Bree Tanner, "a disco ball." quote:At that moment I remembered a shirt, stuck in the back recesses of my closet, that I’d never worn. I....what? It's a shirt. It's a white button-up shirt. There was nothing in Twilight that was special about the shirt he wore. What the hell is going on? Did Stephenie Meyer drink her first coffee and go insane? quote:I wasn’t moving as slowly anymore. It was almost comical, with all the dire fears and resolutions in my head, that the more familiar fear, the one that had recently dictated almost all my movements, should still be able to control me so easily. Sigh. quote:I was early and, of course, everything was fine. Bella was still doing laundry—I could hear the thumping and sloshing of the unbalanced washing machine and smell the scent of softener sheets blowing hot from the dryer’s exhaust. Part of me wanted to smile as I thought of her teasing at lunch, but the superficial humor was too weak to overcome my ongoing panic. I could hear Charlie watching a sports recap in the front room. His quiet thoughts seemed mellow, sleepy. I was sure that Bella hadn’t changed her mind and told him of her real plans for tomorrow. Yes: don't eat anyone. quote:I was surprised to hear the sound of a hair dryer from the shared bathroom. Bella didn’t usually bother. Her hair was, as far as I had seen in my nights of protective—if inexcusable—surveillance, wet as she slept, drying over the course of the night. I wondered why the change. The only explanation I could think of was that she wanted her hair to look nice. And as the person she planned to see tomorrow was me, that meant she must have wanted it to look nice for me. I am going to break a baseball bat over this dork's head. quote:It took longer than usual, even after the extra time with the dryer, for the lights to go out in her room, and I could hear some quiet commotion inside before that happened. Curious, always too curious, it felt like hours before I could be sure I’d waited long enough for her to be sleeping. "I flung myself to the floor, sobbing into her jackets." quote:I compared the feelings, the ache and the soaring, to my life before Bella. I’d been so jaded, so world-weary, as if I’d experienced every emotion there was to be felt. What a fool. I’d barely sipped at the cup life had to offer. Only now was I aware of all I’d missed, and how much more I had to learn. So much suffering ahead, more than the joy, certainly. But the joy was so sweet and so strong that I would never forgive myself for missing a second of it. Wait, what's this? quote:Carlisle had kept me as isolated as possible while I worked through those unruly first months. After almost a year, I felt quite sure that the madness had passed, and Carlisle accepted my self-evaluation without question. He prepared to introduce me into human society. It's a loving flashback! It's new content! quote:At first it was only an evening here or there: As well-fed as possible, we would walk along a small town’s main street after the sun was safely below the horizon. It surprised me then, how we could blend in at all. The human faces were so completely different from ours—their dull, pitted skin, their poorly molded features, so rounded and lumpy, the mottled colors of their imperfect flesh. The clouded, rheumy eyes must be nearly blind, I thought, if they could really believe we belonged to their world. It was several years before I grew accustomed to human faces. As you may recall, Bella did not do this with any humans when she was turned into a vampire, so I'm chalking this up to Edward once again just being a giant douchebag. quote:I was so focused on controlling my instinct to kill during these excursions that I barely registered as language the cacophony of thought that assaulted me; it was just noise. As my ability to ignore my thirst grew stronger, so the thoughts in the crowd became clearer, harder to dismiss, the danger of the first challenge supplanted by the irritation of the second.  And we're getting an actually interesting setting! quote:This was an arduous challenge. I was entirely surrounded. The scent of human blood was ever present. I could smell the touch of human hands on the fabrics in our room, catch the scent of human sweat wafting through our windows. It tainted every breath I took. Really, we should be following him instead! quote:I knew his plan for escape, should the challenge prove too much for me, though he meant to hide it from me. It was nearly impossible for him to keep a secret. Despite the sense of being encompassed by human blood on every side, there existed a quick retreat through the frigid waters of the harbor. We were but a few streets from the gray, opaque depths. If temptation were close to triumph, he would urge me to run. Oh, my sweet summer vampire. quote:It was my second Christmas holiday as an immortal, though it was the first year I appreciated the change of seasons—the year before, I’d been too racked with the newborn frenzy to be aware of much else. I knew that Carlisle worried privately about what I would miss. All the family and friends I’d known in my human years, all the traditions that had brightened the gloomy weather. He needn’t have worried. The wreaths and the candles, the music and the gatherings… none of it seemed to apply to me. I looked at it from what seemed an impossible distance. Oh my God I love this man. quote:I realized with a bit of embarrassment that my great accomplishment, my solo expedition, had been merely a ruse. And then I was glad again to think that Carlisle trusted my control so much that he’d been willing to send me off on a sham trial in order to surprise me this way. This is the most precious loving vampire alive and I'm officially on Team Carlisle forever. quote:It was not difficult to relax into his vision of a family holiday, albeit a very small and unusual family. Though I found my role easy to perform, the sense lingered of not belonging to this world I was playing at. I wondered if I would settle over time into the life Carlisle had created, or if I would always feel like an alien creature. Was I more of a true vampire than he was? Too much a creature of blood to embrace his more human sensibilities? "It's time for the ball, Edward." quote:It was after midnight. We’d left the town and ventured into the hills to the north, searching for an area far enough from humankind to be safe for my hunt. I kept a tight rein on myself then, working to check the eager senses that yearned to be set free, to lead me through the night to something that would satiate my thirst. We must be sure we were far enough away from the populace. Once I’d set those powers loose, I would not be strong enough to turn away from the scent of human blood. Wait, there are nomads that already exist in North America. And Meyer picked the Irish folk? quote:I looked at him questioningly, not sure if it was right to speak aloud. I felt apprehensive, despite his ease. The unfamiliar put me on my guard. There's another tidbit of information: vampires are "not that rare." Setting aside the newborn army wars, the Volturi must be pulling lots of double shifts to keep things straight! quote:The scent was quite fresh. I could distinguish two different trails. I looked at him questioningly. The author just copies other vampire literature when she gets stuck, so.... quote:It took us a few hours to catch up with our quarry, for they were running, too. The trail took us deeper and deeper into the snowy wasteland, which was fortunate. Had we come too close to human habitation, Carlisle would have asked me to wait behind. Using my sense of smell to track was not much different from using it to hunt, and I knew I would be overwhelmed should I cross a human trail. Just more confirmation that vampires can't form big covens because they're all biologically assholes. quote:“Of course,” I whispered, and I straightened beside him, though I could not keep my posture from rigid tautness. Oh my God, he's horny for a MILF. What is this loving book quote:I found it a strange relief to look on another face so like Carlisle’s—perfect, smooth, lacking the fleshy lumpiness of human faces. The symmetry was soothing. We're getting more characterization for Siobhan and Maggie, and what we get for Maggie is "little Irish orphan girl dying in the potato famine." That's actually why she got turned, by the way. Dying in the potato famine. It's in the Illustrated Guide. quote:The larger female leaped forward toward Carlisle, and it took all my self-control not to jump between them to stop her. I realized in that instant, observing the musculature of her substantial limbs, that I would only be able to try. It was a humbling thought. Perhaps Carlisle had been protecting my ego, too, by keeping me isolated. They're really lucky Breaking Dawn didn't end with all the vampire allies randomly starting a fight to the death over someone listening to music too loud or something. quote:She embraced him, enveloping him in her bare arms. Her bright teeth were exposed, but only in what looked to be a friendly smile. Carlisle clasped his arms around her waist and laughed. What, does she wear four-leaf clover necklaces too? quote:Carlisle’s thoughts turned to me, a hundred lightning flashes of our last year. At the same time, Siobhan’s eyes darted swiftly to my face and away. There really isn't except the author's horniness! quote:What he says is true, Maggie thought simultaneously. But there’s something missing. Something Carlisle isn’t speaking. She nodded once, as if to herself, and then glanced at Siobhan, who was still examining me. What's the vampire response to it? Hissing and throwing them into a tree? quote:How charming. She let her hand drop, smiling widely at me. So pretty. I wonder what his gift might be, and why it appealed to Carlisle? You don't! quote:I was still mulling over both the rightness and the wrongness of her assumptions as she turned back to Carlisle. One final thought about me lingered as she moved. ..........murder? Carlisle's best friends with people who just gleefully enjoy killing people! What the gently caress is wrong with this story? How did we let Stephenie Meyer ruin his characterization in one fell swoop so quickly after trying to make us love him? quote:At the time, this conclusion did not trouble me as much as her other speculation. Later—their conversation lasted through the night and trapped us away from our rented rooms until the sun had set—when we were alone again, I spoke to him about it. Carlisle told me Siobhan’s history, her fascination with the Volturi, her curiosity about the world of mystic vampire talents, and finally her discovery of a strange child who seemed to know more than was humanly possible. Siobhan had changed Maggie not because of any need for companionship or personal concern for the girl, who might, under other circumstances, have been dinner, but because she was eager to collect a talent for her own coven. It was a different way of viewing the world, a less human way than Carlisle had managed to preserve. He’d withheld the information about my own talent from Siobhan (this explained Maggie’s strange response to my introduction; she knew Carlisle was holding something back by virtue of her own gift), not certain how Siobhan would have reacted to his having acquired access to such a rare and powerful gift without even a search. Because it was no more than a strange coincidence that I should have turned out to be talented. My gift to read minds was part of me, so Carlisle did not wish it away any more than he would have wanted to change the color of my hair or the timbre of my voice. However, he never saw that gift as a commodity for his use or advantage. So why the gently caress are you friends with her? This isn't "less human": it's sociopathic. In most vampire books, Siobhan would be the villain. In this one, she's on hugging terms with Carlisle. quote:I thought about these revelations every so often, less and less as time went on. I grew more comfortable in the human world, and Carlisle returned to his previous work as a surgeon. I studied medicine, among many other subjects, while he was away, but always from books, never in the hospital. Only a few years later, Carlisle found Esme and we returned to a more reclusive life while she acclimated. It was a busy time, full of new knowledge and new friends, so it was several more years before Siobhan’s pitying words began to trouble me. Is this Meyer's way of saying he doesn't legitimately have two medical degrees? Because the boy doesn't act like it! quote:Poor boy.… How tragic—to be deprived of the greatest joy of this life. Oh, and Siobhan is also the direct cause of pushing Edward into becoming a serial killer! quote:I assumed those qualms would fade. I found very bad men who had kept their bodies clean, if not their hands, and savored the better quality. Mentally, I tabulated the number of lives I might be saving with my judge, jury, and executioner operation. Even if I was just saving one per kill, just the next victim on the list, wasn’t that better than if I’d let these human predators continue? This is actually not the first we'll see of Edward's murdering days. I never thought I'd say this, but you might actually like it. It's one of those parts of this book that makes the rest so frustrating. quote:And now, the words that had once haunted me, once driven me, came back with surprising force. Dammit, I was way more into that flashback than this! quote:My phone vibrated silently in my shirt pocket. I whipped it out, saw the number, and held it to my ear.
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Oct 21, 2020 06:50
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Wait a second, Edward isn't MILF horny at all! I just pulled up the Illustrated Guide. Siobhan is supposed to have been turned at 20. Because the Breaking Dawn films were filmed before the release of the book, the 35 or 36-year-old Lisa Howard was cast and permanently gave everyone the impression of Siobhan being a huge red-haired Irish farmer's wife. Meyer created so much backstory years after the fact that we've been left to create our own canons in our head.
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Oct 21, 2020 06:56
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At this point I’m convinced there’s a part of the story where Carlisle plays Santa Claus at a local children’s hospital and then takes Edward to visit an old friend who just arrived in Salem’s Lot.
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Oct 22, 2020 15:48
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chitoryu12 posted:Wait a second, Edward isn't MILF horny at all!
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Oct 23, 2020 01:45
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PetraCore posted:I was just talking with a friend about how weird it is Meyer has everyone turned in their teens or twenties. Bella is obviously the wish fulfillment of being a mature teenager ready for what Meyer finds the best of young adult life, so that timeline doesn't weird me out so much, but there's no reason Esme couldn't have, say, been in her early or mid 30s when she died while keeping her backstory intact. Or rather, no reason beyond that being 'too old' for her True Love with Carlisle, or something. Meanwhile, her mental youth makes her adopting all these adults, one of whom is basically her age, really quite strange. It's really creepy when you start thinking about it. The entire Cullen family ranges from 17 to 26 biologically, and the vampiric beauty seems to smooth over Edward's youth enough to get adults going weak at the knees when they look at him. So anyone looking at the family would see a bunch of young hot models around the same age with two of them claiming to be the adoptive parents of the rest of them. It's not just a cover that wouldn't pass basic scrutiny, it's a cover that wouldn't last a second with most people. Completely ignoring that all of the "kids" obliterate the curve in high school with their genius test results every time.
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Oct 23, 2020 03:11
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Carlisle being a respected, experienced doctor who apparently presents at the age of 24 (and if he's supernaturally beautiful he could look even younger!!!!!) is really funny. He's literally doogie howser
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Oct 23, 2020 21:22
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Chapter 16: The Knot We are currently at the halfway point of the book. quote:Bella slept so soundly through the night that it was unnerving. Much like you being there. quote:For what seemed a very long time now, from the first moment I’d caught her scent, I’d been powerless to keep my own state of mind from careening wildly from one extreme to the other every minute of the day. Tonight was worse than usual—the burden of the hazard immediately ahead had pushed me to a peak of mental stress beyond anything I’d known in a hundred years. That's because Charlie is a good dad. quote:Charlie made a great deal of noise gathering his fishing things from the coat closet under the stairs. Bella had no reaction to the commotion. Her lids never so much as fluttered. You keep bringing that one up, buddy! quote:I’d worked myself into a fine dark mood by the time I dropped from the shadows of the tree and crossed her front lawn. I tried to erase the evidence of my state of mind from my face, but I couldn’t seem to remember how to shape my muscles the right way. Yes, you both dress like you're attending Brigham Young University. quote:“Good morning.” Bella is over here griping that Edward is prettier than her while he's writing an entire poem in his head about all the possible reasons she could be frowning and then deciding it must be because he's destined to kill her today. quote:Her smile returned as she walked with me to her truck—suddenly smug. I wasn’t going to back out of the promise I’d made, but I didn’t particularly like it. I knew it wasn’t rational. She drove herself around in this antique monstrosity daily and nothing bad ever happened to her. Of course, the bad things seemed to wait until I was there to be their horrified witness. My expression must have led her to believe I was upset about the arrangement. Does he really think the truck is just going to explode on the way to the trail? quote:The decrepit engine coughed its way to life. The metal frame vibrated so violently I worried something would shake loose. If you have to shout that loud over a 1950s Chevy pickup engine, it needs some serious work! quote:“Put your seat belt on,” I insisted. “I’m nervous already.” Is she driving at loving 20 MPH through town? quote:I felt a little relieved when we were finally free of downtown Forks. Soon there was more forest than civilization outside the window. The engine droned on like a jackhammer biting into granite. Her eyes never strayed from the road for a second. I wanted to say something, to ask her what she was thinking about, but I didn’t want to distract her. There was something almost fierce about her concentration. This guy thinks like a 2007 Myspace emo. quote:Her voice was higher, tighter, when she responded, still staring only at the road. “We’re hiking?” Five miles is "very short" to you, maybe. quote:The furrow was back. After a few empty seconds, she started to chew on her lower lip. Yes, but not for the reason you think! quote:“Just wondering where we’re going,” she replied. Her tone aimed for casual, but missed it by a few inches. Nothing of consequence. Her head has been pretty empty at this point. quote:“Charlie said it would be warm today.” "One I've decided to force him to participate it." quote:“And did you tell Charlie what you were up to?” I asked the question without hope. In the original book, Edward was described as "snapping" at her instead of speaking evenly. Meyer is trying very hard in the new text to retcon as much as she can about how Edward actually behaved, trying to pull some sleight of hand and transform someone who was openly oppressive and violent into a scared and awkward kid who's poorly socialized but not actually evil. quote:“Are you so depressed by Forks that it’s made you suicidal?” If only you hadn't paired that with constantly demanding her presence and grilling her for days about her life! quote:“So you’re worried about the trouble it might cause me,” I asked through my teeth, trying to place the words in exactly the right order so that it would be impossible for her not to hear the inherent ridiculousness of her position. “If you don’t come home?” "I shall uproot all of the saplings!" quote:She seemed nervous, but in a new way, her eyes almost shifting to look at me, yet never quite breaking away from the road. Frightened by my anger, though not in the way she should be. Just worried that she’d made me unhappy. I didn’t have to read her mind to anticipate the established pattern. So you admit you have even less in common than it seems? quote:We’d reached the end of the paved road. Bella pulled the truck onto the loamy shoulder and killed the engine. The sudden quiet was almost shocking after the long auditory assault. She disengaged her seat belt and slid quickly from the truck without looking at me. With her back to me, she pulled her sweater over her head. It took her a few seconds’ struggle, and then she tied the sleeves around her waist. I was surprised to see that her shirt mirrored my own in more than color; it too left her arms bare to the shoulder. This was more of her than I was used to seeing, but despite the fascination that immediately sparked, what I felt most was concern. Anything that interrupted my concentration was a danger. Edward is left stunned by seeing arm flesh. quote:I sighed. I didn’t want to go through with this. There were many serious reasons, life and death reasons, but in this moment, my greatest dread was the expression on her face, the revulsion in her eyes, when she finally saw me. ....is this supposed to sound like he's hyping himself up to come out to everyone? quote:Jaw clenched, I slid out of the truck—leaving the sweater so I wouldn’t be tempted—and shut the door. I stared into the forest. Maybe if I got off the road and into the trees, I wouldn’t feel so exposed. At this point, specifically rocks. quote:I tried to sound like a normal person. Light, funny. Maybe I could ease her apprehension, if not my own. “I said there was a trail at the end of the road, not that we were taking it.” How self-centered can you be? quote:“Do you want to go home?” If she wanted to leave me, if she wanted to walk away now, I would let her go. I would watch her disappear, and endure it. I wasn’t quite sure how, but I would find a way. That your girl's kinda hosed up in the head sometimes! quote:“What’s wrong?” I asked. There was still pain in her eyes, pain that made no sense combined with her actions. Did she want to leave me or not? "I'm normally just the worst!" quote:She half smiled at my words, but one side of her mouth refused to turn up. Which immediately sprung back and hit her in the face. quote:It was easier in the forest. Or maybe I had just needed a moment to process her first reaction. I led the way, holding the foliage to clear her path. Mostly she kept her eyes down, not as if she were avoiding looking at me, but as if she didn’t trust the ground. I saw her glare at a few roots as she stepped over them and made the connection then—surely a clumsy person would be nervous about the uneven terrain. However, that still didn’t explain her earlier gloom or her following anger. In case you've forgotten, it's just Bella being sad that she's not as pretty as the vampires. quote:Many things were easier in the forest than I expected them to be. Here we were, totally alone, no witnesses, and yet it didn’t feel dangerous. Even the few times that we reached an obstacle—a fallen log across the way, an outcropping of rock too high to step over—and I instinctively reached out to help her, it was no more difficult to touch her than it had been at school. Not difficult was hardly the correct description. It was thrilling, pleasurable, just as it had been before. When I lifted her gently, I heard her heart drum in double time. I imagined my heart would sound just the same if it could also beat. Bella is crying as she looks at Edward's perfect musculature, Edward is nearly creaming himself helping her over rocks. This is the most pathetic hike in existence. quote:It probably felt safe, or safe enough, because I knew this wasn’t the place. Alice had never seen me killing Bella in the middle of the forest. If only I didn’t have to hold Alice’s vision inside my head.… Of course, not knowing that possible future, not preparing for it, might have been the very ignorance that would lead to Bella’s death. It was all so circular and impossible. "Repeating myself time and time again in my inner monologue until over a hundred pages are added to the story!" quote:“Which was your favorite birthday?” I asked her. I badly needed some distraction. "Or adulthood." quote:“That’s… unusual.” I couldn’t think of another teenager I’d met who thought the same way. "I had a looked at a lighter once at 7-11, so she thought a build-your-own flamethrower kit would be a great idea. She caused 18 casualties." quote:We walked for a half mile in silence. I was hoping she would volunteer more, or ask a question that would tell me where her thoughts were, but she kept her eyes on the forest floor, concentrating. I tried again. "We had no such thing in the 1900s. They just yelled and hit you with rulers for not memorizing grammar and equations by rote." quote:She frowned. “Right. Sorry, I didn’t think—” Of course. quote:Bella laughed. It was a carefree sound, totally lacking any kind of bitterness. And that's why you fought for almost 100% custody for your kid when you left your husband to take care of his ailing parents alone, right? So you could have an "anchor"? God, this woman can go gently caress herself so hard. All of the new characterization for Renee seems to exist just to make her more awful. quote:I kept my face very smooth. This insight of hers—which I didn’t doubt, she’d always seen through me so easily—put a darker spin on my interpretation of her past. Was Bella’s need to be a caretaker based not on her mother’s helplessness, but on a feeling of needing to earn her place? It made me angry to think that Bella might ever have felt unwanted, or that she needed to prove her worth. I had the oddest desire to wait on her hand and foot in some socially acceptable way, to show Bella that her merely existing was more than enough. This is still weird, though. quote:She didn’t notice me trying to control my reaction. With another laugh, she continued. “It was probably for the best that we never tried anything bigger than a goldfish. I wasn’t very good at pet ownership. I thought maybe I’d been overfeeding the first one, so I really cut back on the second, but that was a mistake. And the third one”—she looked up at me, baffled—“I honestly don’t know what his problem was. He kept jumping out of the bowl. Eventually, I didn’t find him soon enough.” She frowned. “Three in a row—I guess that makes me a serial killer.” "I know exactly how you feel, Bella!" quote:As our amusement subsided, the light changed. Alice’s promised sunshine had arrived above the thick canopy, and immediately I felt jittery and anxious again. Imagine if that really did happen. Bella really does have a phobia of disco balls or something and Edward has to awkwardly help her 5 miles back through the forest to her truck because she doesn't even know which way is north and would fall into a creek otherwise. quote:Though my whole frame felt like it might crumple with the pain of that image, there was something much worse—the looming test Alice had seen. Failing that test… I couldn’t imagine. How would I live through that? How would I find a way to stop living? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_aZ0sSjkJPc quote:We were so close. Meyer removed the part where Edward smirks smugly at her when she says this. There's a ton of these little changes in tone and description that are really obvious when you put both texts side-by-side, but someone who read these books a decade ago and hasn't picked them up again wouldn't notice. It's almost like gaslighting. quote:The silence seemed heavier as we progressed. I could tell when Bella spotted the brightness of the meadow. She smiled almost unconsciously and her stride lengthened. She wasn’t watching the ground anymore; her eyes were locked on the filtered glow of sunshine. Her eagerness only made my reluctance heavier. More time. Just another hour or two… Could we stop here? Would she forgive me if I balked? ughhhhh quote:I could have watched her for a very long time, perhaps forever, but it was too much to hope that the beauty of the place could make her forget the monster in the shadows for long. She turned, eyes wide with amazement, a wondering smile on her lips, and looked back at me. Expectant. When I didn’t move, she began walking slowly in my direction. She lifted one arm, offering her hand in encouragement. Knowing how Bella (as any reasonable human) actually reacts makes his constant whinging about it almost comedic if it weren't so exhausting. quote:It felt as though I would never do anything more difficult than this, but I forced my foot to lift and shifted my weight forward.
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Oct 25, 2020 22:25
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The bits where Edward ascribes something deep and dramatic to Bella's behaviour when she's thinking something mundane in the corresponding scene in Twilight will never not be funny to me. Like Edward's narration is all "She took a second to respond to my remark, biting her lip. Of course. Her hesitation made it clear that she knew of the dangers of my presence, knew of all the ways I could slaughter her before she could take another breath. [Insert several more paragraphs about what a monster Edward is] And then Bella's narration is like "I bit my lip, momentarily distracted by thoughts of tonight's dinner. Should I cook pasta this time? Or fish?"
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Oct 26, 2020 06:36
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Chapter 17: Confessionsquote:I felt the sun, warm against my skin, and I was glad I couldn't see that, either. I didn’t want to look at myself now. For the longest half second I’d ever lived through, everything was silent. And then Bella screamed. ....wait, what the gently caress? quote:I couldn’t let her crash into me, whatever she was intending. I needed her to keep her distance. I raised my hand again, palm forward. Hang on, no! None of this happened! quote:She stepped another foot closer, careful now. I let my hand fall. Okay, we need to hold up for a second. This is a link to where we read this chapter from Bella's point of view. You will immediately see that absolutely nothing we've just read happened. The answer for this comes in a Stephenie Meyer interview before the release of this book: "...I was able to get back to the story again, and also to write the little missing piece from the meadow that has always driven me crazy! ... I just expected an editor to say to me at some point, 'what happened here? Why don't you fill this in? Why isn't that there?' And then no one ever did, and so it was like, okay, I guess it's not that important." But even more interesting, this is actually the version of the scene used in Life and Death: Twilight Reimagined. It's all from the genderswapped Bella's perspective and much less wordy, but it's otherwise all of the new content here. So when all is said and done, what you're reading now is the meadow scene basically as was in the first draft of Twilight, the one that was always intended. quote:I stared into her eyes, unable to stop myself from fruitlessly trying—again—to hear her. She reached toward me, very slowly, watching my face. I thought perhaps she was waiting for me to tell her to stop. I didn’t. Her warm fingers grazed the back of my wrist. She stared intently at the light that danced from my skin to hers. Have you ever considered that humans don't immediately classify all non-human features as ugly and repulsive? Someone tell this dude about catgirls. Gonna blow his loving mind. quote:My hand lifted automatically, turning to take hers, but I forced myself to make it drop, not to touch her. "You literally look like a Tiffany's case under a spotlight." quote:Carefully, I pulled my arm out from underneath her warm fingertips, hiding it behind my back. She valued humanity so lightly. She didn’t realize the depths of what its loss would mean. Maybe Bella would be safer if she invested in turtlenecks? quote:I stopped breathing and took a long step away from her, raising my hand again in warning. The new canon reason Edward can accomplish his self-control: BLOOD MEDITATION quote:Bella’s heart, I reminded myself as my involuntary systems reacted to the stimuli. Bella’s life.  quote:All the while, Bella sat almost as still as I was, thinking her private thoughts. Could she imagine any part of the turmoil inside my mind? How did she explain this strange, silent standoff to herself? Whatever she thought of it, her body was calm. 2364 heartbeats? If she's got a resting heart rate of 100 BPM, they just sat there for over 20 minutes doing nothing! I guess Bella was in training for Breaking Dawn. quote:And how did I break this long hush I’d imposed? It was starting to feel awkward to me; it must have felt so to her for a while. You don't say! quote:I unlocked my pose and lay back in the grass, one hand casually behind my head. Feigning the physical sign of emotion was old habit. Perhaps if I portrayed relaxation, she would believe it. Is Meyer trying to make him sound more like a serial killer now? quote:This took most of my attention, though. And inevitably, this quiet waiting period would end. She would have so many questions—much more pointed now, I imagined. I owed her a thousand different explanations. Could I handle everything at once? And he still forgot about how humans ate food. quote:Her blood still pulsed, her heat still warmed, and I still burned. But I could keep my hold on myself. My grip did not loosen. I was in control. Just enough. And then he immediately bats her head off. quote:When the change in her breathing telegraphed a new direction to her thoughts, I was intrigued rather than worried. I expected a question, but instead I heard the grass shift around her as she leaned toward me, and the sound of the pulse in her hand moved closer. Now how will he complete his thesis on insect populations in Olympic National Park? quote:I opened my eyes, eager to see her expression and guess at her thoughts. I was not disappointed. Her eyes were bright with wonder again, the corners of her lips turned up. She met my gaze and her smile grew more pronounced. I echoed it. This is where the meadow scene from the original Twilight begins. quote:She leaned closer, and laid all of her hand against my forearm, slowly stroking down toward my wrist. Her skin felt fever-hot against mine, and though a tremor quivered through her fingers, there was no fear in that touch. My eyelids slipped closed again as I tried to contain my reaction. The electric current felt like an earthquake rocking through my core. Why is it that even in scenes where the vampires are alone, we never see them using their super speed when moving or talking? It's always in comparison to humans that they use it. Or are we supposed to assume that every scene of the Cullens at home has them actually operating at 120x speed unless otherwise stated? quote:“Sorry,” I muttered. But, as our eyes met, I could already tell I’d done no real harm. She’d recovered from the surprise without the smile ever leaving her face. “It’s too easy to be myself with you,” I explained, and then I let my eyelids close again, so I could focus everything on the feel of her skin against mine. So vampires don't just have rock-hard skin, they are statues. quote:She held my hand close to her face. Warm breath seared against my palm. I helped her angle my hand this way and that as the pressure of her fingers indicated. I opened my eyes to see her staring intently, rainbow sparks dancing across her face as the light moved back and forth across my skin. The furrow was there again between her eyes. What question troubled her now? This guy is incapable of hearing a single sentence without taking it as an excuse to mope. quote:“It’s a hard life.” The words did not sound like the joke I meant them to be. “But you didn’t tell me.” We've been thinking about it for hundreds of pages. We can stop now. quote:How was she joking now? What could she mean? I sat up halfway, too eager for answers to pretend nonchalance any longer. Hasn't he been getting close to her and seeing all sorts of body parts for days now? Has she been keeping her neck completely concealed this whole time? quote:I threw myself away from her. The madness hadn’t reached my legs and they launched me all the way back to the far edge of the meadow. I moved so quickly I didn’t have time to gently release my hand from hers; I’d yanked it away. My first thought as I landed crouched in the shadows of the trees was her hands, and relief washed over me when I saw they were still attached to her wrists. Does he imagine himself doing these as stage monologues? quote:If I were something better, if I were somehow stronger, instead of a brutal near pass at death, that moment could have been our first kiss. I'd take it. quote:“I’m… sorry… Edward,” she whispered almost silently. There are some pretty awful implications if you decide to translate any of these ideas to a non-supernatural romance! quote:Bella never looked away from me. Her heart was racing twice as fast as normal. Too fast. It couldn’t be healthy. I wanted to take her hand and tell her everything was fine, she was fine, she was safe, there was nothing to worry about—but these would be such obvious lies. Oh my God it was meant to be a joke. quote:A second too late, she nodded—just once. She tried to smile at my tasteless attempt to make light of the situation, but that effort just marred her expression further. She looked pained, and then, finally, afraid. Oh hey, Edward's about to make this very disturbing scene worse! quote:And all because she’d leaned in just one inch too close. She’d gotten near enough to smell my scent, and she’d found it pleasant, just as she found my face attractive and all of my other snares compelling. Everything about me made her want to move closer to me, just exactly as it was designed to. You could date a vampire? quote:I was on my feet, racing like her heart, in two tight circles around the edge of the clearing, wondering if she could even see what I was showing her. You're in the middle of a psychotic rampage and you're pausing to be worried about the tree? quote:So little effort on my part. I’d not needed to use more than a tiny fraction of my available strength. And still, so much violence. So much harm. And the important lesson to take from that is "It doesn't mean none of that just happened." quote:She moved first. Just a little bit. Her hands had fallen limp in her lap after I’d wrenched away from her, but now one of them twitched open. Her fingers stretched up slightly in my direction. It was probably an unconscious movement, but it was eerily similar to when she’d pleaded “Come back” in her sleep and reached for something. I’d wished then that she could be dreaming of me. Be real unhealthy if you did! quote:Her pain, my greatest weakness—as Alice had shown me it would be. I hated to see her frightened. It broke me to know how much I deserved that fear, but more than either of those burdens, I could not bear to see her grief. It stripped me of my ability to make anything close to a good decision. This feels even less authentic than the first time I read it. The only thing that's keeping Edward from going off the loving wall is that he's too sad if Bella is sad. quote:I moved closer to her slowly, making no movement that she would not have time to anticipate. I sat gradually, in deliberate stages, so that I was once again where we’d begun. I slouched down a bit so that my face was level with hers. As I asked last time: do we need to check if Stephenie Meyer is okay? quote:But she laughed. A little out of breath, a little wobbly, but still a real laugh, with real mirth and relief. Her eyes warmed, her shoulders loosened, and her hands opened again. This series has gotten less romantic with time.
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Oct 27, 2020 21:53
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A while ago I stumbled across a Twilight porn parody and it begun with this scene. First it was just a recreation of the scene from the movie and then Eddie unzips his pants and says with tortured face that even his penis is sparkling. Bella goes :O and says "Wow, it's so big!!" and Edward growls "The cock of a killer!" At the time I thought it was really funny, now I realise it's just Breaking Dawn. chitoryu12 posted:Does he imagine himself doing these as stage monologues?
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Oct 27, 2020 22:55
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To be entirely fair, Edward is a serial killer 
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Oct 27, 2020 23:00
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The reason Edward says he's never seen Bella sleep so deeply I assume is because she took gasp allergy pills to sleep before the big date
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Oct 27, 2020 23:11
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https://twitter.com/AlexandraErin/status/1047865722800689152
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Nov 1, 2020 02:15
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quote:The relief, the confusion of joy and guilt, suddenly reminded me of the day I’d come home, so many decades ago. And we are right into another flashback! quote:I hadn’t been ready then, either. I’d planned to wait. I wanted my eyes to be golden again before Carlisle saw me. But they were still a strange orange, an amber that tended more toward red. I was having difficulty adapting to my former diet. It had never been so hard before. I was afraid that if I didn’t have Carlisle’s help, I wouldn’t be able to keep going. That I would fall back into my old ways. One could only hope. quote:It was simple enough to find them; they hadn’t moved far from the place I’d left them. Maybe to make it easier for me to return? And of course, vampire super speed means what's intended to be a dramatic and poignant scene of reunion immediately dissolves into comedy because Esme turns into a rocket-propelled snowplow. quote:Edward? Can it be? You are 26 he is 17 he has been a vampire longer than you quote:I looked up into Carlisle’s face, leaving my eyes open wide. Hiding nothing. Except all the dead people? quote:Slowly, hardly able to trust that it could be so simple, I raised my arms and returned my family’s embrace. Oh, that's the end of the flashback! We're already done! quote:She blinked twice. “I honestly can’t remember.” The reason I posted that artwork without context before was because there is poo poo in this book that is so loving batshit dumb that there's no way any of you would guess what it meant. quote:She looked up then, her eyes probing mine. We stared at each other for a few seconds, and I was surprised at the intensity of her gaze. I felt that she was reading me more successfully than I was ever able to read her. It's, uh, real curious that you use the word "force" there! quote:“Yes.” It was hard to agree with her, even with all that pain fresh in my imagination. I wanted it so much. “That is something to be afraid of, indeed. Wanting to be with me.” Selfish me. “That’s really not in your best interest.” We're now at multiple pomegranate references per chapter. quote:I spoke the thought aloud, but mostly to myself. “I should have left long ago. I should leave now. But I don’t know if I can.” Giving us insight into Edward's mind only makes him seem more deranged. quote:“I’m glad.” She said the words simply, as if this was an obvious thing. As if every girl would be pleased that her favorite monster was too selfish to put her before himself. I mean, I guess it's better that all of his mood swing tantrums were directed at himself rather than her, but that still doesn't mean he's not having them and that he's not flipping his lid every few sentences! quote:She looked at me quizzically. There was no fear anywhere in her eyes now. Her head cocked slightly to the left. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5KSBEChzpMM quote:“How do I explain?” I murmured. Naturally she had no idea what I was talking about. I had not been terribly specific when it came to my reaction to her scent. Of course I hadn’t; it was an ugly thing, something I was deeply ashamed of. Not to mention the overt horror of the subject. How to explain, indeed. “And without frightening you again… hmmmm.” "Probably because I would suddenly get mad again and start punching a tree and yelling." quote:I sighed. “That’s amazingly pleasant, the warmth.” A foolproof way to get around criticism of your dialogue: write the scene again but have the characters criticize it themselves so it looks like you made them dumb on purpose! quote:“Sorry about the food analogy,” I apologized. “I couldn’t think of another way to explain.” This guy thinks of himself as Shakespeare when he should really be putting on a fedora. quote:She stared into my eyes, and while I automatically tried to hear her internal reaction, I got the feeling that she was trying to read mine as well. I thought that was your thing? quote:“Yes, you are exactly my brand of heroin.” Emmett is so casual that his wife tells him what being a vampire is like and he goes "Yeah, I guess!" quote:So I knew of the times the others had had difficulty resisting, and when they had not been able to resist, but I couldn’t know exactly how potent their temptation had been. I could make an educated guess, however, based on their standard level of control. It was an imperfect technique, but I thought it should answer her curiosity. Sounds pretty tasteful to you!  quote:“I spoke to my brothers about it.… To Jasper, every one of you is much the same. He’s the most recent to join our family. It’s a struggle for him to abstain at all. He hasn’t had time to grow sensitive to the differences in smell, in flavor—” I flinched, realizing too late where my rambling had taken me. “Sorry,” I added quickly. I also don't know what it meant to her, because Bella's narration doesn't tell us. quote:“What did Emmett do?” she asked in a conversational tone. Isn't that how Bella's plot goes, though? quote:How could I tell her about these two innocent victims? Humans with hopes and fears, people with families and friends who loved them, imperfect beings who deserved the chance to improve, to try. A man and a woman with names now inscribed on simple headstones in obscure graveyards. Widow: "I don't recognize you. How did you know my husband?" Emmett: "Deliciously." Rosalie: *jabs him in the ribs* quote:She gave up waiting for an answer. “I guess I know.” Edward's first thought is that he must be so special that Bella will hate everyone but him for eating people. Little does he know she just doesn't give a poo poo. quote:“Even the strongest of us fall off the wagon, don’t we?” I asked weakly. Oh believe me, she has no limits. By next year she'll be happily loaning her car to random nomads so they don't have to walk to kill anyone. quote:I’d told her that same night how, despite our best efforts, my family made mistakes. Had she not realized that I’d been confessing to murder? No wonder she accepted things so easily; she thought I was always strong, that I only had near misses on my conscience. Well, it wasn’t her fault. I’d never explicitly admitted to killing anyone. I’d never given her the body count. I mean, you kinda have been threatening that this could happen for this entire conversation. quote:“No, no!” I had to fight to slow my words down to human speed—I was in such a hurry to have her hear them. “Of course there’s hope! I mean, of course I won’t—” Have you even had any? quote:“When you walked past me,” I admitted, “I could have ruined everything Carlisle has built for us, right then and there. If I hadn’t been denying my thirst for the last, well, too many years, I wouldn’t have been able to stop myself.” Perfect recall, unless it would make the plot more difficult! quote:Her expression was far away. Maybe she was remembering, too. Horny. quote:Her chin lifted a centimeter. “Without a doubt,” she agreed. Why couldn't you have summarized the dialogue we already read at more opportunities than just this, Meyer? quote:“In the hospital?” she prompted when my words ran out. She studied my face with compassion, with eager, nonjudgmental desire for the next chapter. I was no longer shocked by her benevolence, but it would always be miraculous to me. Alice probably never would have forgiven Edward if he not only let her future BFF get gruesomely smashed between two cars, but immediately descended on the corpse like a ravenous ghoul. quote:I knew that I would have had some small inkling of the disaster that had befallen me. Even that early, after just a few words exchanged, my fascination with her was strong. But could I have guessed the vastness of the tragedy? I thought not. I would have ached, certainly, and then gone about my empty half life never realizing how very much I had lost. Never knowing actual happiness. This chapter is so gigantic, I have to split it into three parts!
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Nov 2, 2020 00:31
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quote:“And for all that,” I concluded my long confession, “I’d have fared better if I had exposed us all at that first moment, than if now, here—with no witnesses and nothing to stop me—I were to hurt you.” Would you say you are....sealed? quote:I carefully loosed one hand and stroked her soft hair, warm from the sun. The joy of the simple touch, the knowledge that I was free to reach out to her this way, was overwhelming. I grasped her hands again. Nope, doesn't seem any more authentic from his side than hers. quote:Just as the word unendurable was not enough, so were these words weak echoes of the feelings they tried to describe. I hoped she could see in my eyes exactly how inadequate they were. She was always better at knowing my mind than I was at reading hers. It's a bit telling that this girl is saying she'd die for him after knowing him for such a short period of time and he's enjoying it instead of being concerned for her mental health! quote:She scowled, her eyes still lowered. “I’m an idiot.” You mean you were reminded of ANOTHER FLASHBACK quote:Whenever we canvassed the countryside for likely towns in which to settle, Carlisle would frequently make side trips to duck into old parish churches. He seemed unable to stop himself. Something about the simple wooden structures, usually dark for lack of good windows, the floorboards and pew backs all worn smooth and smelling of layer upon layer of human touches, brought him a reflective kind of calm. Thoughts of his father and his childhood were brought to the fore, but the violent end seemed far away in those moments. He remembered only pleasant things. Yep, here it is. quote:The sort of world where this present moment could exist, I thought now, and felt that aching tenderness again. It wasn't just Edward being overdramatic. He was joking about a painting. quote:Her eyes were so open and accessible for one second, and then she flushed again and looked down. She steadied her breath for a moment, and her impish smile returned. Isn't the price also the possibility of you killing her? Or is this supposed to be the moment that urge ends? quote:“Why…?” she murmured, hesitant. Yes, that is how people communicate. Seriously, we're supposed to believe that Edward being a vampire means he's lost his sense of how to interact with humans but none of the other Cullens are this awkward and stupid. quote:How to explain bloodlust, though? So shameful. How do you smell a throat? quote:I broke off, hoping I had not disgusted her. Has Edward canonically not even had a boner? quote:“The blush on your cheeks is lovely,” I murmured. "I learned this from a man who calls himself Louis CK..." quote:“Be very still,” I warned her. Her breath hitched. As I back myself against a wall in terror. quote:I wished I could stay like this forever, immersed in the sound of her heart and warmed by her skin. It was time for the final test, though, and I wanted it behind me. Is this some sort of reckless immersion therapy? quote:I’d had enough experience to know what the relief would feel like, if I were to utterly quench my most bestial need. Her blood had so much more pull for me than any other human’s I’d encountered—I could only assume that the relief and pleasure would be that much more intense. And all it took was some meditation! quote:My breathing continued steadily, the bite of her scent a welcome counterpoint to the glut of other physical sensations that overwhelmed me as I held her. Lindsay Ellis has permanently ruined this word for me. quote:I had no doubt that Alice saw this, too, and that she was rejoicing. If you're wondering why this book is so hard to do, the distance between his sigh and this dialogue in the original book was slightly more than one paragraph. quote:Her concern warmed me to the core. This comes off less erotic and more pathetic than the original now. quote:She smiled a wide, warm, lopsidedly dimpled grin. It was clear that if it did take any effort to bear my nearness, she would never admit to it. Here's something I've been noticing with Bella: in the older parts of the book, where she doesn't yet have a romance going on, she's a lot better of a character than her original form. She's her own person, stubborn but caring, constantly stepping in to help people she barely knows. As soon as the romance with Edward is supposed to trigger, it just ends right there. She instantly becomes a weak-kneed nymph who's abandoned everything else for a lethally obsessive crush on a weird vampire she doesn't even know well. It's like she's been doped with a love potion between chapters. While Meyer meant to flesh out her first book with Midnight Sun, it's actually making it seem less authentic. It brings into stark focus how abrupt and contrived the romance actually is. quote:Before I could regret the deed, she leaned closer and whispered, “Don’t move.” It would have been so loving funny if it really was her just getting used to him being a marble statue. quote:Her hand began to move very slowly. First she stroked my cheek. Her fingertips grazed across my closed eyelids, and then brushed a half circle beneath them. Where her skin met mine, it left a trail of tingling heat. She traced the length of my nose and then, with the trembling in her fingers more pronounced now, the shape of my lips. Okay, I hate that I have to think this. If he has no blood in his body, was it a boner produced by venom in Breaking Dawn? If so, why does it only work for that? quote:I wanted… so many things. Things I had not felt any need for in my entire immortal life before I met her. Things I was sure I had not wanted before I was immortal, either. And I felt that some of them, things I’d always thought impossible, might, in fact, be very possible. I promise, Bella, you don't want the confusion of reading this. quote:A tendril of her hair, caught in the breeze, danced in the sun, catching the light with a reddish shine. I reached out to feel the texture of that errant lock between my fingers. And then, because it was so close, I couldn’t resist stroking her face. Her cheek felt like velvet left out in the sun. At this point in the thread this just makes me uncomfortable now. I'm exhausted from this so I'm doing another break into 4 parts.
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Nov 11, 2020 20:00
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