nine-gear crow posted:

What would a parent teacher interview between a Yeerk teacher and a Yeerk parent even look like?

disaster pastor posted:

"You probably need to be a bit sterner with the child, his Bs have slipped to C+s and his parents wouldn't have allowed that, so people are getting suspicious. If you get him to join the wrestling team, you'd be free to attend the Thursday meetings again and get back in the Visser's good graces. Speaking of, he's laying another trap for the Andalite bandits, you'll really want to be involved in this one. See if you can come to the Sharing Friday night around 9."

quote:

I meant to ask Ax about my little problem. I had promised Cassie I would. But right after school we had the mission. And if I’d brought it up then, everyone would have made me stay home.

Maybe that would have been the smart thing to do.

But it seemed to me that the sudden, surprise morphing had occurred just twice. The first time it had been a total catastrophe. But the second time only my feet had morphed.

Obviously, whatever was the matter with me, I was getting better. Probably it would never even happen again.

Probably.

I called my dad on his cell phone when I got out of school. “Daddy? Are you in a meeting or anything?”

“No, honey, I’m outside the courthouse waiting for this man I’m supposed to be interviewing. What’s up? Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I haven’t fallen into anything or had any buildings collapse on me. So far. I just wanted to let you know I’ll be hanging with Cassie. We’ll probably go to the mall or the library or something.”

“Okay. Well, be sure to be back at the hotel by six, okay? I want to have dinner with you. Take a cab. Do you have enough money?”

“Yes. I’ll see you for dinner.”

Then I called my mom at work, got her voice mail, and left the same basic message.

It was sad how easy lying had become for me. I guess a lot of kids lie occasionally to their parents. But I have to do it way too much. Someday I’ll be able to tell everyone the whole truth. That will be a relief.

quote:

Anyway, we were all supposed to meet up in the air above the beach. That was the plan. All of us except Ax and Tobias had the perfect morphs for the occasion. But it was one I hadn’t used in a long time.

The tricky part was finding a safe place to morph. I headed for the stand of trees beyond the athletic field. Unfortunately, kids went there sometimes, and I couldn’t risk being seen.

Fortunately, Tobias arrived to help.

<Hey, Rachel. If you can hear me, scratch your head.>

I scratched my head and casually looked up to the sky. I spotted the red-tailed hawk outlined against a fluffy white cloud.

<There are three people in the stand of woods, but they’re walking away. They’ll be gone by the time you get there.>

I couldn’t answer because you can only make thought-speak when you’re in a morph. But I trusted Tobias totally. Hawk eyes are about ten times better than human eyes. Tobias could have told me how many mice and rats and skunks and toads and squirrels were in that stand of woods. Let alone how many big, noisy, clunky humans were there.

I walked quickly into the trees. There was a ton of trash: soda cans and chip wrappers and McDonald’s bags. I laughed, because for the morph I was going into, this was like the perfect world.

<You’re still clear,> Tobias called down. <Four guys heading toward you from the school, but you’ll be out of there before they arrive.>

I nodded. Then I focused on the morph. And I tried not to focus on the fact that morphing had gotten very weird since the day before. Like it was normal the rest of the time.

I began to shrink very quickly. Pine needles and dead leaves and beer cans and assorted trash all came rushing up.

Shrinking is weird because it’s so much like falling. You don’t think, Oh, I’m getting small. You think, Oh, I’m falling!

You fall and fall and fall, but somehow you never actually land. It’s just that a can that started off seeming to be as big as your foot becomes as big as half your body. And a McDonald’s bag that you could have stepped on is now so large you could crawl inside it. Leaves smaller than your hand are
now as big as those little bathroom rugs.

As I shrank, I could see my flesh turning white. White as snow. White as paper. And then, when I was a creepy, shrinking ghost, the feather patterns begin to appear. They were tiny, close, delicate feathers. Much smaller than the owl or eagle morphs I used.

My teeth melded together and began to force themselves outward, forming a single hornlike protrusion. It pushed out and split open horizontally, creating a hooked beak.

I spread my arms wide and saw that they were already wings. Not the broad, powerful wings of an eagle. Shorter, sharper, narrower, more acrobatic wings.

I had become the bird that is never endangered. The bird that lives on all seven of the seven continents. The bird that seems to thrive in every environment.

I was the mighty seagull.

Eater of fish, french fries, melted candy, eggs, Burger King Whoppers, popcorn, beef jerky, pickle slices, maraschino cherries, cheese puffs, burritos, and basically any other food that has ever been invented.

King of scavengers! Lord of the trash!

I flapped my wings and took to the sky. I flapped hard and rose to treetop level. And below me, the beauty of the world was revealed to my alert, seagull vision.

Food was everywhere! Everywhere humans threw garbage was a restaurant to me. The Dumpster behind the school! The parking lot of the convenience store! I saw it all. I spotted every blowing candy wrapper. I noted every single bit of road kill.

Other birds had to kill to eat. Other birds had narrow, cramped environmental niches with just one or two kinds of acceptable food. Not me. I could live on junk food and garbage.[quote]

It's true. Gulls will eat almost anything. They also can drink seawater. They have glands in their skull which they can use to excrete excess salt from their nostrils.

[quote]And that’s why the skies were filled with my brothers and sisters. I saw them everywhere, always near the ground, always on the lookout for the next bread crumb.

Above me I spotted a dangerous form … the dark silhouette of a bird of prey. But I wasn’t too worried. He was high up, and I was fast and very agile.

I flapped hard and flew fast, zooming like a wobbly, erratic rocket above the treetops, over the roofs, flitting through telephone wires, skimming easily over lawns and yards and gardens.

<Enjoying yourself, Rachel?>

What the … ?

<Hello. Hello in there, Rachel. You’re not falling into the morph, are you?>

It took a few seconds for me to track. The voice in my head was Tobias. Tobias was a human.

So was I.

Oh. Hello. Wake up, Rachel.

<Sorry, Tobias. I was getting kind of caught up in the seagull’s head there for a minute. I wasn’t prepared. I’ve done the morph before, so I wasn’t on guard.>

It was embarrassing, actually. When you first do a morph it’s very hard to control the mind of the animal. I mean, when I’d morphed the crocodile, even though I was totally prepared, I’d been ready to chomp that kid.

But I’d done the seagull before. I shouldn’t have had any difficulty with it.

<You okay, Rachel?> Tobias asked.

<Yeah. Yeah. I’m fine, all right? I just wish everyone would stop asking me how I am. I’m fine.>

This wasn’t related to the problem with uncontrolled morphing. This was just a minor thing. A minor loss of concentration.

Nothing to worry about. That’s what I told myself.

<You know your way to the beach from here?>

<Of course I know the way to the beach,> I said, still mad for no good reason.

<Ooookay. See you there.>

Tobias peeled off and I flew on. One thing the seagull knew was how to find the beach.

But I was not a happy little seagull.

Something was wrong with me, and it wasn’t going away.

quote:

We met high above the beach. Four seagulls, looking totally normal among the hundreds of other seagulls. And higher up, floating on the thermals, a red-tailed hawk and a harrier.

The harrier was Ax. He’d never acquired a seagull. The harrier morph was a type of hawk, about the same size as Tobias.

<Okay, is everyone up for this?> Jake asked.

He was one of the wheeling, screaming seagulls around me, but I couldn’t be sure which one.

<Let’s do it!> I said. That’s what I almost always say at the start of a mission. Everyone expected me to say it.

The truth was, I felt nervous and worried and totally unsure of myself. But people expected me to be all gung ho. If I hadn’t been, they’d have known something was very wrong with me.

<What a shock,> Marco said sarcastically. <Mighty Xena is ready to go. Someone alert the media! It’s a major story!>

<Oh, shut up, Marco,> I said.

<Okay, we fly out, find this yacht, then figure out how to proceed from there,> Jake said. <Right?>

<If we can find the yacht at all,> Marco said.

<Not a problem. It’s out there, maybe three miles, heading southeast. There are three people on deck. I can’t see their faces.> Tobias laughed. <Hawk vision, boys and girls. You seagulls stick to Dumpster-diving. I’ll take care of long-range spying.>

<You sure it’s the right boat?> Jake asked.

<The Daybreeze, right?>

<There is no way you can read the name on a boat that’s three miles out,> Marco said. <I’ve been an osprey, remember? Your eyes are good, but you’re not Superman.>

<Busted,> Tobias said. <Okay, I can’t read the whole name on the boat. But I can see the D. And I took a good guess. I’m betting that’s our wussy-boy actor.>

<Good enough,> I said. <Let’s take a closer look.> It was all the usual banter before we go on a mission. It felt good to be doing something. Action was better than sitting around waiting to see if I was going to morph out of control.

And I was still looking forward to actually seeing Jeremy Jason McCole. There was still the possibility we could rescue him or something.

Tobias said, <I better bail out on you guys. I’m not good over water. No thermals. Ax’s harrier will be weak, too, but he can always morph to something else and swim back. I can’t.>

We said good-bye to Tobias. I know he hates not being able to go with us on every mission. He feels like he’s not doing enough, I guess. Which is stupid because really, no one does more for the cause than Tobias.

And none of us has paid a higher price in this war with the Yeerks than Tobias has.

We flapped away, slowly emerging from the dogfight of seagulls in the sky. We crossed the line from sand to surf. And then we kept going, out over green water and on to the deeper blue.

There was a breeze blowing against us and it was a struggle to make headway. But this was what seagulls were built to do. The seagull brain knew how to exploit every lull in the breeze. And the body was almost tireless.

Ax’s harrier, on the other hand, was having a harder time. Hawks are made for soaring, or swooping down on their prey. They are great at riding the thermals, the big, billowy updrafts of warm air. But they aren’t distance flyers. They can’t just flap their wings endlessly.

But he still had better long-range vision than we did.

<I see the boat clearly now,> Ax announced. He didn’t complain, but he sounded tired. <I can read the name Daybreeze very clearly. There are now four humans on the deck. Two older males. One female of medium age. One juvenile male.>

<Is it Jeremy Jason?> Cassie asked excitedly.

<Has to be,> I said.

<Does he have brownish-blond hair and really big blue eyes?>

<And full lips?> I added. <Like Brad Pitt.>

<Gag! Barf!> Marco, of course.

<The hair and eyes are correct,> Ax said. <I can’t evaluate the lips, though. How large would lips have to be in order to be Brad Pitt lips?>

<In that Montana movie Brad Pitt’s lips filled the entire screen,> Marco said. <In fact, I heard some people were crushed to death by Brad Pitt’s lips.>

<Bet they’re fake,> Jake muttered. <You know how they inject, like, butt fat into lips to make them all puffy?>

<It’s so sad to hear so much jealousy, don’t you agree, Cassie?>

<It is sad, Rachel. Terribly sad.>

<This is the worst mission we’ve ever been on,> Marco said. <I mean, I’ve been scared before. Hey, I’ve been horrified, screaming, wanting-to-wet-myself terrified before. I’m used to that. But this is the first time I’ve wanted to just throw up. Rachel, I didn’t think you were even capable of normal human affection, let alone pathetic hero worship.>

<Say it, brother!> Jake agreed. I think he was kidding. But I couldn’t be sure.

<And Cassie!> Marco went on. <I thought you only cared about animals. Animals like skunks and snakes … and Jake. Hee-hee!>

<Okay, let’s get back to business now,> Jake said quickly.

Jake gets embarrassed any time anyone mentions his feelings for Cassie. And we were practically caught up to the yacht.

<Ax, buddy, I think you need to peel off. Change morphs and stay close by in the water.>

<Yes, Prince Jake.>

<Don’t call me prince.>

<Yes, Prince Jake.>

<Marco and I will go in close, land on the boat like any ordinary seagulls, see what we overhear,> Jake went on. <Rachel and Cassie, you can be backup. Stay ->

<Yeah, right,> I jeered. <You and Marco go. Me and Cassie stay away. Yeah, that’s really going to happen. Come on, Cassie, we’re going in.>

I flapped hard to pull away from Jake and Marco. Ax gratefully peeled off, soaring back and away on the breeze.

The yacht was very large. I don’t know how big, but it was big enough that the four people lounging on the aft deck could have played a game of volleyball if they’d wanted to. I mean, this was not some little motorboat.

Cassie and I moved behind the boat. Below us, propellers were churning the sea turquoise and white. Just ahead, we could clearly see the four people.

One was the movie producer wearing shorts and an open shirt. I’d seen him on CNN.

One was a man who stood with his back to us.

The third person was a woman in a bikini. She was young and pretty.

And the fourth person … yes! There was no mistaking that hair. That face. Those lips.

<It’s him!> Cassie said.

<Oh, yes,> I agreed.

Jeremy Jason McCole. Star of Power House. At least he was the star if you forgot about that comedian guy who played his father.

Jeremy Jason McCole, who had appeared in basically every fanzine published in the last five years. Most of which either Cassie or I had read.

quote:

<His favorite color is crimson,> Cassie said. <It’s so cool. He didn’t just say “red.” He said “crimson.”>

<He was born in Altoona, Pennsylvania.>

<He has two sisters. Their names are Jessica and Madison.>

<Nice chest.>

<Nice legs.>

<Let’s get closer,> I said.

quote:

We flapped a little and found ourselves in a sweet pocket of air. The boat created its own breeze, which sort of carried us along. We barely had to flap our wings. We could just hang in the air over the back end of the boat. We hung there, enjoying the view from ten feet above Jeremy Jason McCole. We listened to the conversation between the actor, the producer, and the two other people.

And it was then that I fell out of love with the extremely cute Jeremy Jason McCole.

Epicurius posted:

I've never had this much of a crush on a celebrity, so please, anyone who remembers, tell me, is this sort of thing real? Is this how people react?

Bobulus posted:

Wikipedia didn't exist, so magazines could sell issues by just feeding out little morsels of info, like basic demographics and personal preferences.

quote:

The wind carried some of what they said away. The noise of the churning water and the big engines wiped some of it out. But we heard enough, Cassie and I. Too much.

” … don’t want to be on the losing side of this, Jeremy,” the producer was saying. “Face it, your TV career is over.”

“It’s not over as long as … million teenage … in love with me,” Jeremy said.

“All I’m saying is, big changes are coming. Big changes like … has ever seen before, okay? Now, my company is part of the new order. You do business … parts in movies. Serious parts. Let you move beyond teenage roles.”

Jeremy Jason laughed. “That’d be nice. I’m about sick to death of dopey … sending me love letters and mobbing me for autographs. See, that’s part of the problem I have with your offer. You’ll have me still… . I’m sick of … be Mr. Goody Good all the time.”

Then the other man, the one who had been standing with his back to us, stepped forward. He barely flicked a finger and the producer backed away. The woman in the bikini narrowed her eyes and seemed to shrink down in her chair.

“Let’s stop wasting time,” the man said. “We’ve been talking … yesterday … better things to do. I can give you …thing you want. Everything. Money … power. But first, you have to agree to my … They are … simple. You become one of us. And then, you take on this … representing The Sharing. In
exchange … anything and everything your heart desires.”

Jeremy Jason sat silently while the man spoke. The man scared him. That was obvious. When Jeremy Jason did speak, it was in a low, strained voice. “And if I say no?”

“You won’t say no,” the man said. He turned then, and I saw his face. I saw an icy smile, and cold, dead eyes.

I had seen him before, just briefly. But once was enough.

<Visser Three!> Cassie hissed.

The Visser was in his human morph. But it was him. And having recognized him, it was as if the sun was gone from the sky. I felt darkness reaching out from him. Darkness that clutched at my heart.

Visser Three, leader of the Yeerk invasion of Earth. The only Yeerk ever to take control of an Andalite body. The only Yeerk to possess the Andalite morphing power.

Visser Three, the evil creature who had murdered Ax’s brother Elfangor while we sat terrified, helpless.

He smiled his icy, fake-human smile for Jeremy Jason. “You’re an ambitious … You want … So much more than you will ever get without my help.”
Suddenly Jeremy Jason laughed. “I guess you see through me.” He stood up to face the frightening man. “I let you perform this procedure … make me a major movie star. Deal?”

The cold smile reappeared. “Deal.”

<He can’t possibly know what this means!> Cassie cried. <They’ve tricked him.>

<Yeah. They have. But you know what? He wouldn’t be falling for it unless he was a creep.>

<I don’t care,> Cassie said. <We can’t let them make Jeremy Jason a Controller.>

<No, we’ll have to try and save him,> I agreed. <But now I wonder if he’s worth it.> I felt sick inside. I know it’s dumb to have a crush on some actor you only know from TV. But it’s a nice, normal kind of dumb. And I didn’t have much normal anything in my life.

quote:

<Let’s get back with Jake and Marco,> I said. <Man. They are so going to rag on us over this. Jeremy Jason ready to become a voluntary Controller. It’s disgusting.>

I banked sharply away, caught the headwind again, and realized that I was getting lower. Lower very quickly. I flapped harder.

<Rachel! What are you doing?> Cassie yelled.

<I don’t know! I can’t seem to fly!>

<Oh, no! You’re morphing, Rachel! Stop!>

My wings were beating the air, but I just kept falling. And then I saw the reason. It was right in front of my face.

Literally!

Where my small, hooked seagull beak should have been, something long and gray was growing. <I’m growing a trunk!> I cried.

From their positions a hundred yards behind the boat, Marco and Jake spotted the disaster-in-the- making.

<Rachel! What are you doing?> Jake yelled.

<I can’t stop! I can’t stop! I’m morphing!>

The trunk was now half-a-foot long and my wings were not even close to powerful enough. I fell. I hit the water with a splash.

But not before I caught a glimpse of Visser Three. He was standing at the back rail of the boat.

He was staring right at me with dead, evil eyes.

I hit the water and kept going. The elephant morph seemed to be speeding up. I was morphing at a speed unlike anything I’d ever done before.

Down I sank. Down and down as bubbles spiraled up away from me. My huge leathery ears were growing from my head. I felt my bones grinding as they swiftly became massive and thick and long.

I tried to tread water, but I had legs like tree trunks!

The sparkling surface of the water above me already looked as far away as the surface of the moon. I was drowning.

<Rachel! Morph out!> Cassie screamed.

<Ax!> Jake yelled. <If you can hear me, find Rachel. Stay with her!>

But I knew the others couldn’t reach me in time. I was falling and falling, down and down through the water. My trunk could not reach air, although I stretched it high over my head.

I was drowning in an elephant’s body. And all I could do was wonder why.

quote:

I fell down through the water, down toward the invisible ocean floor a mile below me. I tried to focus. To find a way to demorph. But I couldn’t. My mind was slipping away.

I was about fifty feet under when it occurred to me to see whether the elephant could swim. I mean, it seemed stupid. Of course elephants can’t swim. But what did I have to lose?

I started running in water with my big telephone pole legs and to my utter amazement it turned out the elephant could swim. But too late to do me much good. I was too far down. I’d never reach air in time.

quote:

I saw a flash of gray, a deadly shape in the water beside me. I heard, like it was from far off, a thought-speak voice saying, <I see her, Prince Jake!>

Somehow it almost made me laugh. It was a talking shark. Why was a shark talking?

Then … panic!

I began thrashing wildly. I churned the water, motoring my big legs, futilely trying to rise faster. I flung my trunk this way and that. But panic was no better than peaceful surrender. I was rising, but it was too little, too late.

And yet …

<She’s demorphing!> the talking shark said. <No … wait. Prince Jake, she is not demorphing. I mean, not back to human. She is going straight to some other morph!>

<That’s impossible!>

<I know. But that’s what is happening!>

<I’m going after her,> Cassie yelled. <I’ll dive underwater, out of sight. I’ll morph to human, then try to morph to dolphin before I run out of air. Maybe I can help her.>

<Do it,> Jake snapped. <Marco, stay up top. I’m going down with Cassie.>

<She is getting smaller at an impressive speed,> Ax, the talking shark, said.

The talking shark was right. I was shrinking. Shrinking at a shocking speed. Shrinking so fast I created a little whirlpool where my massive elephant bulk was disappearing.

<Jake! Look!> Marco yelled. <That man on the boat! He’s morphing. I swear, he’s turning into an Andalite! Oh, man. Him!>

<Yes, it’s Visser Three,> Cassie said. <Forget him. We have to save Rachel!>

Morphing, morphing, morphing. Everyone is morphing, I thought in my giddy, nearly unconscious mind.

I decided it would make a good song. <Oh what fun it is to morph, to morph and morph today. Hey!>

<Is she singing “Jingle Bells”?> Marco demanded.

quote:

<Ax, I’m in dolphin morph now, but I can’t see Rachel. Where are you two?> Cassie cried. <I should be able to see an elephant and a shark!>

<Rachel is no longer an elephant. In fact, I can’t see her at all. She’s too small.>

<What?> Jake asked.

<We’re almost there! Ax, you have to find her!>

I rose slowly from the brink of unconsciousness. Slowly, the gears in my brain started to grind forward. I was underwater. I was sure of that. But I was no longer the elephant.

I could breathe! And I was no longer sinking.

At least, it didn’t feel like I was. But I couldn’t see to be sure. I was blind.

Don’t panic, Rachel, I ordered myself. But that was easier said than done. I was blind!

<I can’t find her,> Ax yelled in frustration. <These shark eyes are too weak. She was too small. I think she was morphing an insect.>

Insect?

Slowly, reluctantly, I took stock. I had legs. I could move them, feel them. Four legs. No, six!

Yes, I had become an insect. I had feelers. I waved them around and tasted the air. Nothing. Just my own smell.

And what brain was in with my own? None. No awareness. No thought. It was the body of a mindless machine. There were two possibilities: termite … or ant!

<Ax? Cassie? I think … I think I went into ant morph!> I cried. <Nobody swallow anything. It could be me.>

<Are you okay?> Cassie asked.

<You mean aside from the fact that I’m in ant morph, trapped inside an air bubble in the middle of the ocean?> I said, more sarcastically than I should have. <Yeah, aside from all that, I’m great.>

<Uh-oh,> Marco said.

<Uh-oh what?> Jake snapped.

<Uh-oh, Visser Three is going from Andalite form to something else.>

<What is it? What’s he morphing?>

<I don’t know what it is. But it’s big and it looks like it could swim.>

<Oh, man! Can anything else go wrong?!> Jake yelled in frustration. <Rachel, can you demorph? Can you get human? Or dolphin? Or something useful?>

<I don’t know.> I tried to calm my panicky, jumbled mind. I tried to focus on morphing. On getting human again. Come on, Rachel, you can do this, I told myself. But I had the feeling I was lying. And yet I could feel myself growing once more. I felt myself press against the rubbery walls of the air bubble.

<I think I see her!> Cassie said. <No, wait. Just seaweed. No, wait again. I do see her. She’s green, maybe half an inch long but growing fast.>

<Rachel, what are you morphing?> Jake asked.

<Why don’t you tell me? Because, guess what? I DON’T KNOW!>

<Stay cool, Rachel,> Jake advised.

<Cool? Cool? Hey, sorry if I sound tense, but I keep turning into things I don’t want to turn into.>

<It’s the crocodile!> Cassie said. <Jake, over here. This way.>

Suddenly, I could see again. Eyes appeared just in time for me to see sticklike ant legs morphing into stubby, green-scaled crocodile legs. I was growing at incredible speed. I could feel the water sliding over and around me as I occupied more and more space. But at least I could see again. And I wasn’t drowning. The crocodile has the ability to hold its breath for a very long time.

Above me I could see the bright sheet that was the divider between water and air. And in the water around me hovered two big, gray bottlenose dolphins, both grinning their eternal dolphin grins.

Cassie and Jake.

Moving swiftly past, just a hundred feet off, was a menacing-looking tiger shark. Ax. I hoped. I looked at Jake. Or maybe it was Cassie. <I guess maybe I should have mentioned I was having this little problem with morphing, huh?>

<No, it’s much better to find out this way, Rachel. You know - when you could get us all killed,> Jake said.

It’s not like Jake to be sarcastic.

<Oh, man,> Marco said. He was still in seagull morph. <I don’t know what Visser Three is now, but he’s getting ready to dive in the water. And you don’t want to be there when he does.>

<Let’s get out of here while we can,> Jake said. <Rachel, if you feel any more morphing happening, tell us, all right? If you don’t mind.>

<Yell at me later, okay? Let’s get some distance.>

I turned my long body easily and began swimming, using my big crocodile tail. Cassie and Jake and Ax all turned on the speed and in ten seconds they were far out ahead of me.

I saw Jake stop and look back.

<Alligators aren’t exactly fast swimmers, are they?>

<Crocodiles,> I corrected him. <And no. I guess not.>

quote:

Then we heard …

PUH-WHUMPF!

It was a sound like a depth charge. Like something very large had just cannonballed into the water. <Here he comes,> Marco announced grimly. <Look out for those spears. They look nasty.>

<The what?> I asked. <The spears? What spears?>

<The thing Visser Three morphed into. I can’t be sure, but I think maybe it shoots spears out of its mouth.>

<Ah!> Ax said, speaking up. <I bet it’s a Lebtin javelin fish! I’ve always wanted to see one of those. I mean … you know … in a zoo or something.>

<Well, we can’t outrun it with Rachel in alligator morph,> Jake said.

<Crocodile,> Cassie said. <Not alligator.>

<You guys get out of here. I’ll take care of Visser Three,> I said, sounding much braver than I felt. <It’s my fault we’re in this mess.>

<Yeah, right, Rachel,> Jake said.

Then he began rapid-fire orders. <Spread out. Thirty feet apart. Keep moving so he doesn’t get an easy target. Marco? We could use your help down here. And for future reference, I don’t give a rat’s butt if it’s a crocodile or an alligator, so long as it can fight.>

Epicurius posted:

So, did you all watch the livestream? Some fun stuff there.

QuickbreathFinisher posted:

I love that the thing that Marco noticed about Legends of the Fall was Brad Pitt's lips.

nine-gear crow posted:

Is there a VOD link anywhere?

Epicurius posted:

I didn't even know elephants could swim.

quote:

I drifted up to the surface, showing just my nostrils and my eyes above water. I breathed out and refilled my lungs with fresh air.

The dolphins did the same, blowing out through the holes in the backs of their heads and sucking in fresh air.

In the few seconds before I dived again, I saw Jeremy Jason standing on the back of the boat. He had a huge, fierce grin on his face. He was pointing and laughing like a fan at a boxing match.

Something he yelled drifted to me on the breeze.

“Is he awesome, or what?!”

He was referring to Visser Three. He had just watched the Visser shed his human form, meld into his stolen Andalite body, then morph into a fearsome beast from some far-distant planet. And his reaction to it all was admiration.

I felt cold fury. What kind of a human being would sell out his own species?

quote:

Enjoy the show while you can, I sneered silently. It may not end the way you expect.

I sank back beneath the choppy waves, down and down. And then I saw it. Him. Visser Three.

It was a bizarre morph. Like nothing on Earth, that’s for sure. It looked like a vast, bright yellow stingray. Like a living pancake, flat and oblong. It sort of flew through the water by slowly flapping its sides. There were two stalk-mounted eyes on top, and two long, trailing antennae below. All along its back it had spears. They were lined up flat. You know how a fighter jet has missiles tucked up under the wings? That’s how it held the spears, only they were on top. But all neatly in a row, facing forward.

The spears - there must have been twenty of them - were each as long as a broom handle and just about as thick. They had irregular striping, yellow and green and bits of blue. It was probably camouflage back on the home planet of the Lebtin javelin fish. But here, in Earth’s oceans, it seemed gaudy and too bright.

It flew through the water. Faster than my crocodile could ever have moved. But faster, too, than the dolphins or the shark.

<Fast,> Jake said.

<Yep,> I agreed.

<Probably not all that agile, though,> he suggested.

<No. It will be slow in a turn.>

<I’ve changed my mind,> Ax said. <I do not think I want to see a Lebtin javelin fish.>

I glanced left. Ax was holding position there. Beyond him was Jake. Cassie was on my right.

The javelin fish was now just a hundred feet away. I could only pray I wouldn’t suddenly start morphing again.

Then …

The javelin fish - Visser Three - began to swell up. It seemed to inflate like a balloon. It slowed … slowed …

SHOOOOOOP!

A spear fired from the javelin fish’s mouth! Like a rocket, it lanced through the water. I didn’t have time to even think about dodging it.

<AHHHHHHH!>

The spear went through my tail, near the base. Pain shot up my spine. Blood billowed into the water around me. My blood!

I looked down. The spear was still there, piercing my scales. All I could do was stare at it.

It seemed ridiculous. It was just stuck right through me!

<Rachel!>

<Hah-HAH!> Visser Three exulted. <It works! I just acquired this morph, and look how well it performs!>

quote:

I looked at Visser Three. One of the spears stored on his back rolled neatly into a flap. Then he began to swell again, ready to fire another spear.

<Look out! Move! Move!> Jake howled in our heads.

But I couldn’t move. My tail was paralyzed. I wanted to charge the alien creature, but I could barely move at all.

SHOOOOOOP!

The second spear flew straight for Cassie. But her dolphin was too fast. She kicked hard and the spear missed by millimeters.

No, she had been hit! I could see the cut across her back where the spear had opened the flesh.

<I’m okay, I’m okay!> she cried.

She’d been lucky. A split-second slower and she would have been impaled.

The javelin fish was still rushing at us. I rolled onto my back, pale belly up. <Jake! Back off. Get out of here. It’s too fast! You have to split up and hope you lose him!>

<I’m not leaving you!>

<You have to. I’ll play dead. And if he comes close enough …>

He hesitated, but only for a second longer. <Split up! Run for it!>

<I’m not leaving Rachel!> Cassie cried.

<Cassie, you have to,> I said. <Now! Get out of here or we’ll all be dead!>

Visser Three flew toward us, gliding swiftly through the water. I saw a new spear roll into the flap. He began to swell, sucking in the water he used to propel the spear.

<He’s getting ready again. You guys, GET OUT OF HERE!>

Cassie and Jake and Ax all wheeled sharply away, each heading off in a different direction.

SHOOOOOOP!

The spear raced after Ax! He was a hundred feet away and moving at full shark speed. But the spear gained swiftly.

<Now, Ax! Now!> I yelled.

He swerved right, and the spear blew past.

<Thank you, Rachel,> Ax said.

The Visser hesitated. <Ah, splitting up, eh? Well, that will only affect the order in which I kill each of you. What have I heard the human children say? Ah yes, eeny, meeny, miney, moo.>

I almost said, “It’s moe, you jerk. Moe, not moo.”

But I had slightly more sense than that. I just lay there, hanging in the water, belly-up, looking dead and trying not to feel the pain from the spear in my tail.

Go after Cassie, I begged silently. Go for Cassie, you disgusting creature.

If the Visser went after Ax, he would pass too far from me to reach. The same if he chased Jake.

Only Cassie would bring him near me.

Visser Three flapped his water wings.

I grinned a crocodile grin.

He came closer, closer, then he slowed and began to swell. Larger and larger he grew, like an overfilled balloon. And closer and closer he came.

Ten feet … five … two … twelve inches …

Close enough.

I jerked every muscle in my powerful crocodile body. My head thrust forward. My jaws opened wide.

And I bit down.

I definitely bit down.

Did you know a crocodile has the most powerful jaws in the animal kingdom? Did you know they can practically crush rocks with their jaws?

I clamped that long, toothy crocodile jaw down on the left wing of the Visser’s javelin fish. And then …

POOOOMPFF!

SPWOOOOSH!

It was like biting into a water balloon. The inflated javelin fish exploded. All the water it had sucked in to fire its next spear went blasting out through the hole I made.

And that Lebtin javelin fish learned a whole new way to fly. It squirted wildly through the water, blasted up through the surface, arced through the air like a sick dolphin, and landed far away with a loud, satisfying splash.

And the whole time, we heard Visser Three’s thought-speak voice crying, <Ahhhhhhhhhhh!>

quote:

I relaxed a little then, although relaxing just made me notice the pain in my tail. A dolphin came nosing up to me.

<Hey, it’s me, Marco. I’m here to save the day!>

I actually laughed. <Just in time, Marco. Just in time.>

quote:

<Allergy,> Ax said. <You acquired some animal you’re allergic to. It happens sometimes.>

“This out-of-control morphing is an allergy? I have an allergy? To what?”

“What was the last animal you acquired?” Cassie asked. Then she answered her own question. “The crocodile. You must be allergic to crocodiles.”

We were in the safety of the woods out beyond Cassie’s farm. It was a little area we went to fairly often for privacy. Ax needed to morph back to his own body. And Tobias … well, Tobias needed to hunt dinner before it got dark.

As we all talked, Tobias waited in an overhead branch. We were on the edge of a small, grassy meadow. A meadow full of mice.

Tobias kept his laser vision focused on the tall grass of the meadow. The others were all glaring at me. Except Cassie, of course, who was just shaking her head. She felt she’d made a mistake letting me keep my secret.

“You’re saying because I acquired that crocodile I lost control of my morphing powers?”

<Not all control. Just some. It’s … it’s like when you humans suddenly make violent exhalations through your nostrils and shout, “Achoo!”>

“Sneezing. You’re saying I’ve been sneezing.”

quote:

<Hah!> Tobias said. He opened his wings and swooped out across the grass, just a few feet above the ground. He flared suddenly, raked his talons forward, and for a few seconds disappeared from sight.

“And another mouse bites the dust,” Marco commented.

<Yes, Rachel,> Ax said. <You’ve been having an allergic reaction to the crocodile DNA.>

“So what do I do? Is there some medicine I can take or something?”

<No medicine. At least none that humans could create. But there is a process. Something that happens naturally in these cases. At least it happens to Andalites. It’s called hereth illint.>

“That sounds poetic,” Cassie said.

<A literal translation would be something like “burping DNA.”>

“Now that’s poetry,” Marco said, laughing.

<Since we have no mouths we don’t have phrases like “spitting out” or “vomiting up.” Hereth is what we say instead.>

quote:

Even Jake smiled. “How does Rachel do it? This process?” he asked Ax.

<The offending DNA will eventually be expelled from your system. You can’t control when it happens. You just have to be careful, especially since this crocodile is a dangerous creature.>

“Sounds easy enough,” I said. “I’m always careful.”

<It isn’t easy. See, you basically have to morph the animal while you retain your own body. You have to create a whole, living animal out of the excess matter floating in Zero-space.>

I looked at Ax. “Excuse me?”

<Until the hereth illint begins, you can control some of the symptoms by remaining very calm and unemotional. The out-of-control morphing in the water happened when you were upset or emotional.>

I shrugged. “I was mad because that jerk Jeremy Jason McTraitor was betraying his fans. Not to mention his entire species, yeah.”

<And you said a similar thing happened when you were in Chapman’s office, where you were afraid.>

I nodded. “Uh-huh. I mean, not like afraid afraid. Just sort of nervous afraid.”

<And the first time? When you morphed inside your house? What emotion were you feeling then?>

“Nothing.” I kept my face blank.

“What were you doing when it started?” Jake asked me.

“I don’t remember,” I lied.

Cassie cocked an eyebrow at me. “Rachel, you were pulling up pictures of Jeremy Jason off the Internet.”

“So?” I demanded. “That’s not something emotional!”

“It was l-o-o-o-v-e,” Marco crowed, drawing the word out. “The deadly, dangerous emotion of puppy love. Rachel was overcome by attraction! By desire! By intense, uncontrollable Tiger Beat passion! And it -”

He was interrupted by the fact that I tried to grab him and choke him. But he dodged behind Ax.

“It turned her into a wild animal!” Marco yapped on. “Several wild animals, actually. She became the alligator of l-o-o-o-v-e!”

“It’s crocodile,” Jake said, smirking in a most un-Jakelike way.

And then, suddenly, I realized a feather pattern began to appear on my skin. Bald eagle feathers. I groaned.

<You see?> Ax said, noticing the beginning of the morph. <Passions and emotions set off the allergic reaction. You must try to eliminate the emotions.>

“How about if I just eliminate Marco?” I growled.

“It’s so perfect,” Marco said. “Mighty Xena has a weakness: human emotion. She’s a victim of lo-o-o-v-e.”

Jake grabbed Marco’s arm and squeezed tight. “Marco, if you make her mad, she’ll morph. And if she starts morphing, she might end up in full grizzly bear. Do you really want Rachel mad at you and in grizzly bear morph?”

Marco hesitated. He glanced at me. He bit his lip. “I get your point, Jake. I think I’ll just go watch Tobias eat his mouse.”

quote:

I was halfway feathered by the time I was able to reverse the morph. It took that long to calm down.

“Ax, tell Rachel whatever you can about this hereth thing. Get her prepared. And Rachel, until you are better, keep a very low profile. As in don’t go to school. And forget about this TV show you were going to do with Jeremy Jason. Visser Three knows we’re on to Jeremy Jason. The Visser will make him a Controller immediately. Actor boy has seen too much. They’re probably infesting him right now.”

“But we still have to stop him! We can’t have him speaking for The Sharing. We could grab him, keep him locked up somewhere for three days till the Yeerk in his head dies.”

“I know we have to stop him, and we will. We’ll just have to figure out some other way to get at him.”

“He’s probably going to start endorsing The Sharing on the Barry and Cindy Sue Show. Then he’ll leave town,” I argued. “It’s our last chance. They’ll be on guard now. They’ll be watching for us. We’ll never get near that stupid yacht again. That show may be our last shot at him!”

Jake nodded. “Could be. Could be we can’t pull this off. Could be we’ll have to forget about it.”

The good-humored smile evaporated. He gave me a cold look. “Maybe you should have thought about all that, Rachel. You’re the one who blew the mission today. You’re the one who let Visser Three know we were on to Jeremy Jason. Next time maybe you’ll let the rest of us know when you’re not in
shape to handle a mission.”

I would have argued … if I could have. But everything he was saying was true.

I glanced at Cassie. She was looking down at the ground, embarrassed. Ax made a point of aiming all four of his eyes away, like he was watching something fascinating far off in the distance.

I couldn’t see Tobias. He was still out in the tall grass. But he must have overheard because he whispered to me, <Hey, don’t worry about it, Rachel. It’s okay.>

“No. It’s not,” I whispered.

quote:

Okay, yes, I had screwed up. But I was determined to fix the problem.

So I basically lied.

The next day I told Jake and Cassie that it had happened. The hereth illint. I told them it had happened in great detail. I went on and on about how weird it was. I was very convincing. And they fell for it.

Of course, if I’d tried to fool Ax it wouldn’t have worked. Because see, I didn’t really know what was going to happen during this DNA burping. None of us had really understood Ax when he’d explained it. Once he starts in about Zero-space, we all just kind of glaze over.

quote:

But if I had tried to trick Ax, he would have asked the one question neither Jake nor Cassie thought to ask: What did you do with the extra crocodile?

Anyway, when I saw Jake the next day in school and told him it was all over, he believed me.

Even Cassie believed me because I told her in a hurried whisper as we changed classes. I think if I’d had to look her right in the face, she would have known I was lying.

I had no choice. I had to make it to the Barry and Cindy Sue Show. One way or another, whatever it took, we had to stop Jeremy Jason from endorsing The Sharing on that show. See, I knew I was okay. Because all I had to do was to control my emotions. Just stay unemotional, and I wouldn’t go into uncontrolled morphs. And I’m good at handling emotion.

Except anger, maybe. I have a small problem with anger.

But who was going to make me mad on a stupid TV show? It would be fine. Fine.

Uh-huh.

quote:

After school I took a taxi again to my dad’s hotel. I had the taxi pass by my house. Work crews were already there, ripping out the shattered remains of our kitchen and my bedroom. They had one of those super-sized Dumpsters out front, full of plasterboard and two-by-fours.

“Did you hear what happened to that place?” the taxi driver asked me. “House just fell apart. I tell you, the way they build things nowadays.”

To my surprise my dad was actually at the hotel, waiting for me.

“About time!” he said, a little frantically as soon as I walked in the room. “The show goes live at five o’clock! It’s almost three! Where have you been?”

“School.”

“Oh. Yeah. School. Come on, come on. Fortunately, we can walk to the studio and avoid traffic. It’s just down the street. Five minutes.”

Choosing an outfit took very little time: I only had about three things salvaged from the wreck of my bedroom. I quickly called Cassie to tell her to hurry, too. She was supposed to meet me at the studio.

She wasn’t home, which probably meant she was already waiting for me. That was the plan.

Cassie would be with me. The others would try to get into the studio in innocent-looking morphs. But we knew the Yeerks would be watching the place. They’d probably have some of their people in the audience. And for all any of us knew, Barry or Cindy Sue themselves might be Controllers.

“Are you nervous?” my dad asked as we hustled rapidly down the street.

“Not really,” I said.

“Nationwide, live TV broadcast? Millions of people watching? Coast-to-coast? And you’re not nervous?”

“Now I am,” I muttered. I suppressed the nervousness. I couldn’t afford to feel anything. I just had to get through this without feeling any extreme emotion. I could do that.

We blew past the receptionist at the studio, my dad in the lead, looking like Mr. Big Time, and me double-stepping to keep up. Cassie was waiting in the lobby and got swept up with us.

“How you doing?” she asked me.

I shrugged. “Great.”

“Really?”

“Yep.”

“Nervous?”

“No.”

“Excited?”

“No.”

“Scared.”

“Definitely not.”

She leaned close and whispered. “Do we have a plan? I mean, what exactly are we doing about Jeremy Jason?”

I shrugged. “We’re stopping him.”

“How?”

I grinned. “We’re improvising.”

“Uh-oh.”

Suddenly, a llama came tearing past. Its dainty hooves skittered crazily on the waxed linoleum. It turned a corner and was gone.

“What the …” my dad said.

“Cool,” Cassie said. Her eyes lit up the way they do when she sees any animal. “It’s a llama. They’re really neat animals, you know. They-”

Suddenly two people dressed in khaki raced up and shoved past us. They turned the corner after the llama and were gone.

The three of us just stood there staring at each other. Then a third person, a woman with a clipboard, ran up breathlessly. “Did you see a llama?”

I pointed. “That way.”

“Hey, what’s the deal?” my dad asked.

The woman shook her head like the world was coming to an end. “Bart Jacobs’s on the show with his animals. The llama made a run for it. Smart animal.”

“Bart Jacobs?” The name sounded familiar. “Isn’t he that guy who takes animals on the talk shows?”

Cassie made a disapproving look. “That’s him, all right. I hate seeing wild animals dragged into studios and treated like -”

quote:

“Well. If there are no more wild animals,” my dad interrupted, “we have to keep moving.” He started off again and we fell into step behind him. He swept us in his wake toward the makeup room.

The door was open. A woman with weird hair and black lipstick looked at my dad and gave a little leer. Then she looked at me and Cassie, like she was trying to figure out what to do with our faces.

“She’s the one,” my father said, pointing at me. “Rachel, meet Tai. Tai, my daughter Rachel. She’s on the show.”

“The skin is beautiful,” Tai said. “But I think we want more body in the hair.” She grabbed a handful of my hair and sort of threw it disdainfully. “What do you use on your hair?”

I told her the brand. She sneered. My dad took off to schmooze with some people he knew. And Tai shoved me into a barbershop-style chair, whipped a sheet over me, and began doing things with brushes.

I hate being shoved around like that.

It really kind of made me mad.

“This hair! This hair!” Tai complained. Then she yanked. Way too hard.

I hate being yanked.

Suddenly, Tai backed away. “What is happening to your hair? It’s … it’s turning gray!”

I looked past her to the mirror. I saw two things. I saw Cassie’s horrified expression. And I saw my hair turning gray. Gray and shaggy.

Like a wolf.

It was happening! I’d gotten mad at Tai and I was morphing. Into a wolf! I shot a desperate glance at Cassie. Cassie acted instantly. “Look!” she cried. “Out in the hallway! It’s … um … it’s Kevin Costner! And Tom Cruise, too!”

Tai screamed, “Where? Where?” dropped her brush and ran for the door.

I focused. Calm … calm … no emotion …

But Cassie wasn’t helping. At all. “You lied! To me! Again! You didn’t do that hereth illint thing at all! You’re still allergic!”

“I’m trying to be calm, Cassie,” I warned. “I’m trying to demorph.”

“You can’t do this stupid show while you’re still this way!”

“I’m doing the show. It’s the only way! I’m not letting this creep … now look! You’re just making me upset!”

The gray fur was beginning to grow on the back of my arms and hands. I shut my eyes. No anger. No anger. No anger.

quote:

“I didn’t see Kevin Costner out there,” Tai said suspiciously when she returned.

“I was sure that was him,” Cassie said. “Sorry.”

“Now what was going on with your hair?” Tai asked, staring baffled at my now-normal head.

“Um … not enough conditioning?” I suggested.

And that’s when I suffered my second emotional jolt. Because that’s when the cutest boy on the planet walked into the makeup room.

“Jeremy Jason,” I heard Cassie whisper in awestruck tones.

No emotion … no emotion … , I told myself.

But you have no idea just how massively cute he was up close like that. And then he smiled at Cassie, and gave her a little half-hug. Like he’d probably done with a million fans before.

I saw Cassie’s knees buckle. She actually wobbled.

“Hi, I’m Jeremy Jason McCole,” he said to me. “Are you on the show, too?”

“Yes,” I said, trying to sound like a robot. “Yes, I am on the show, too.”

I didn’t get up from the makeup chair. And I didn’t shake his hand. Because I have to tell you the truth: Even knowing what he was now, even knowing what kind of person he was, even knowing that inside his head there lived an evil gray Yeerk slug, if he’d hugged me like he had Cassie, I would have morphed.

I would have morphed big time.

quote:

“Hey,” Jeremy Jason said, giving me his famous squinty, skeptical look. “Don’t I know you from somewhere?”

I shook my head. “No. Definitely not.”

“Yeah, yeah. You’re the girl who fell into the crocodile pit after that kid. You’re on the show today, huh?”

“That’s not all she did,” Cassie rushed to say. “She also had her house fall in on her.”

I sent Cassie a “What are you doing?” look. Like having a house fall on me would make Jeremy Jason think better of me? Like that would impress him?

Cassie made a helpless, confused, giddy look and shrugged. She kept staring at Jeremy Jason with this slightly weird grin. Of course, to be honest, I probably had the identical slightly weird grin.

Jeremy Jason flashed his smile. Then he said, “Look, Disaster Girl, or whatever you are, how about if you and your friend stumble on out of here? I need to get made up. And I don’t need an audience.”

That took care of the weird grins. Tai looked fiercely at me and jerked her head toward the door.

Outside in the hallway we found the llama. It was standing there, minding its own business.

“‘Disaster Girl’?” I repeated. “Excuse me?”

“‘Stumble on out of here’?” Cassie said.

We both looked at the llama.

“If you’re waiting to get made up, you can forget it,” I told the llama. “You’re not a big enough star.”

<Maybe not, but I will be someday,> the llama said.

“Yahah!” Cassie and I yelped. You’d think we, of all people, would be prepared for strange things like talking llamas. But it caught us totally by surprise.

“Marco?” I hissed.

<Who else would be this cute? Check out this fur. Check out this little llama smile on my little llama face.>

“What are you doing?”

<Jake’s somewhere around here in cockroach morph. Ax is here in fly morph. I came that way, too. But then I saw this llama wandering around loose. So I thought, hey, why be a bug?>

“Where’s the real llama?” Cassie whispered.

<Don’t worry. I put him in an empty dressing room. By the way, I saw the schedule. Bart Jacobs and various animals of his, including yours truly, go on first, then the Wussy Wonder, and finally you, Rachel.>

Cassie cocked an eyebrow at me. I deliberately didn’t look at her. I knew what she wanted me to do.

“Fine, I’ll tell him,” Cassie said. “Marco, Rachel may have slightly exaggerated when she said she was okay. You’d better warn Jake.”

<She didn’t burp the croc?>

“Nope.”

“I’m fine as long as I don’t get excited,” I said defensively.

<You know, Rachel, I’m supposed to be the irresponsible one,> Marco said.

quote:

Cassie was biting her lip thoughtfully. “It’s too late for Rachel just to cancel. But we need a backup, just in case. No matter what happens, we can’t have people seeing Rachel morph.”

<What can you do? If she morphs suddenly ->

“Well,” Cassie interrupted, “the important thing is that there always be a Rachel. See? I can’t believe what I’m even thinking, and it totally gives me the willies, but Rachel? I think we need a copy of you.”

<Morph Rachel?> Marco trilled. <I’ll do it! I’ll do it!>

“When pigs fly,” I said.

Marco shot a llama look to his left. <Uh-oh. Looks like I’m busted.>

The two khaki-clad trainers appeared at the end of the hallway. They crept up slowly. Marco waited patiently till they caught him, slipped a rope around his neck, and led him away.

<See you guys later,> Marco called back. <Break a leg. Not literally. That’s just what we show biz people say to mean “good luck.” I’m going to be on tee-vee-ee. I’m going to be on tee-vee-ee.>

Cassie laid her hand on my arm.

“What are you doing?” I asked.

“Don’t worry, I’ll never use your morph for anything bad,” Cassie said solemnly. And then I started getting dreamy and drifty as she acquired my DNA.

“Don’t do it unless you have to,” I said. “It gives me the willies. I mean, jeez.” I shuddered. And then, I felt my face beginning to bulge out.

“Rachel!”

“I’m cool. I’m cool,” I said. I took a deep breath and let go of the grossed-out feeling I’d had about being morphed. The allergic morph stopped and my face returned to normal.

“Hey! You! The Falling Girl! Come on!”

The clipboard woman came rushing past and grabbed my arm, pulling me down the hall.

“Okay, listen up because we’re desperately late. You go on in the last segment. I’ll tell you when to go. You walk across the stage to Barry. He’ll shake your hand. Then Cindy Sue will shake your hand, unless she’s in a snit. Then you sit. Don’t worry about which camera to look at, just look at Barry and Cindy Sue. Barry and Cindy Sue will ask you about all this alligator stuff -”

“Crocodile,” I corrected.

“You tell them your little story. If Barry does this with his hand, that means speed up. If he does this with his hand, it means wrap it up because we’re done. Got it? Good. Nothing to worry about.”

She stopped suddenly and stared at Cassie. “Who are you?”

“I’m Falling Girl’s partner, Dropping Chick,” Cassie said.

Clipboard woman stared at her.

“She’s my friend,” I said. “You know, for moral support.”

“Yeah, whatever. Come on. Our greenroom can’t be used. We had some band on the show last week and they trashed the place.” She was still yanking me along by my arm, which would have made me mad. Except that I couldn’t get mad. Or sad. Or anything, without setting off an allergic reaction.

quote:

Clipboard woman planted Cassie and me on two tall stools. We were in a dark corner, up against a cinder block wall covered in wires and cables and switches.

Bart Jacobs, the animal guy, was sitting on an identical stool. He was smoking a cigarette and talking to one of his animal handlers.

Lined up against the cinder block wall were half a dozen cages filled with Bart Jacobs’s animals. A lion cub. A baby elephant. A python. A golden eagle.

From our gloomy corner we could see out onto the familiar Barry and Cindy Sue set. It was made up to look like a living room, with comfy-looking chairs clustered in the center. Facing the chairs were the cameras - one on each side and one right in the middle.

Beyond the brilliant light of the set was a studio audience. Not that I could see them. They were in darkness, and the lights on the set blinded me for anything else.

Then, in a rush, Barry himself came blowing past. “Hello, everyone, we’re looking for a great show today. Hope you’re all really up. Up! Up! Energy! Keep that energy high! See you out there!”

Ten seconds later, Cindy Sue swept by in a wave of perfume, followed by a man who was trying to comb Cindy Sue’s hair as she walked.

She flashed a fake smile at me and a disdainful look at Bart Jacobs.

The animal guy leaned close to me, took his cigarette out of his mouth and said, “She’s never forgiven me for one of my little beasties wetting on her dress.”

From out beyond the lights I heard the welcoming roar of the audience. I saw my dad standing on the far side of the set, talking to clipboard woman. He saw me and flashed a smile and a wink.

I was not nervous. I was not scared. No emotion. No emotion. It was the only way. I could do it. I could.

Barry and Cindy Sue were chatting out on stage. Then Jeremy Jason came blowing past like a small thunderstorm. He looked mad. I heard him mutter to a frightened-looking man, “What do you mean the greenroom is closed? You can’t keep me standing around! I’m Jeremy Jason McCole!”

Of course, he was probably not really Jeremy Jason McCole anymore. He was probably a Controller, I reminded myself. Right now, the real Jeremy Jason was caged in a corner of his own mind. He was watching helplessly as the Yeerk controlled his every movement, his every action, his
every word.

Was it beginning to occur to the vain, ambitious jerk that he had been tricked? Had he realized yet that there is no such thing as partnership with a Yeerk?

The Yeerk is master. The human host is a slave. Period. And when the infestation is voluntary, the human slave is even weaker. Even less able to resist.
It made me sick to think of it. Jeremy Jason had asked for it. He’d let himself be tricked. Still, it made me sick …

Wait a minute. I did feel sick.

Oh, no, I pleaded silently. Not now.

I looked at Cassie. “Cassie? I don’t think I’m going to make it.”

“What do you mean? Look, if you’re scared or whatever, you just have to control the emotion.”

I shook my head. “It’s not that. I feel … weird. I feel distorted. I feel like something is happening inside me.”

“The allergic morphing?”

“I don’t think so. I have that under control for now. I think maybe I’m having that thing.”

“What thing?”

“You know.”

“The hereth illint? Now? Here? Now?”

I nodded. “Yeah. Here. Now.”

FlocksOfMice posted:

I have no idea why this is the first of the books I forgot but wow this is pretty wild?? I'm loving this disaster. It's like the first full comedic relief episode?

OctaviusBeaver posted:

Llama Marco rules

OctaviusBeaver posted:

Llama Marco rules

OctaviusBeaver posted:

Llama Marco rules

Bobulus posted:

You know, it just occurred to me, with Cassie acquiring Rachel: why has no one acquired Ax yet? Ax's two big contributions to this team are computer skills and acting as a decoy. They really should have a means of doing both at once.

Bobulus posted:

You know, it just occurred to me, with Cassie acquiring Rachel: why has no one acquired Ax yet? Ax's two big contributions to this team are computer skills and acting as a decoy. They really should have a means of doing both at once.

OctaviusBeaver posted:

Llama Marco rules

pastor of muppets posted:

That's a good point, especially if they want to keep up the ruse of being "Andalite bandits."

Also:

QuickbreathFinisher posted:

But I have to think it would be especially noticeable if all six of them were seen at once, looking like six clones of the same Andalite. Still wouldn't reveal their identities but it would be a huge clue.

QuickbreathFinisher posted:

I can't imagine it wouldn't be helpful to at least have an Andalite and maybe one non-Animorph (adult) human on deck for espionage. I just re-read the next book about a month ago, but I can't remember, do they all acquire one of the freed hork bajir, or is it only Rachel and Tobias?

Bobulus posted:

You know, it just occurred to me, with Cassie acquiring Rachel: why has no one acquired Ax yet? Ax's two big contributions to this team are computer skills and acting as a decoy. They really should have a means of doing both at once.

QuickbreathFinisher posted:

It is interesting that visser three never notices that he only ever sees one specific Andalite.

quote:

“Oh, no,” Cassie wailed.

But she wailed quietly, because Bart Jacobs was still sitting next to us. He was talking to his assistants and getting ready to go out on stage.

Barry had finally finished telling a funny story. The audience roared with laughter. Cindy Sue was starting to introduce the animal guy. He stood up and straightened his clothes. An assistant came

rushing up with a leash for Bart to take. On the end of it was the llama.

<Hi again,> Marco said. <Hey. We’re in show biz! I always knew I’d make it. Maybe I didn’t exactly expect to make it as a llama …>

” … here he is, Bart Jacobs!”

Applause. Bart moved out, dragging Marco along behind him. His assistants were already lining up the other animals. Jeremy Jason was in a dark corner having an angry conversation with someone.

Meanwhile, I was falling apart.

Ax hadn’t mentioned that hereth illint is extremely unpleasant. It started with a wave of such intense nausea I almost launched my lunch right then and there. But behind the sick stomach came something much worse. Total disorientation. My body was rejecting the crocodile DNA. But the croc
inside me didn’t go peacefully. Before it could leave, it surfaced inside me. I could feel the cold, calculating crocodile mind bubbling up within my own.
I was losing control of my own body!

At exactly the same time, in the same body, two completely separate brains were looking out at the world through my eyes. The croc was nervous. He wasn’t used to this. He didn’t know where he was.

But crocodiles aren’t just brainless, ruthless killing machines. They are smart, ruthless killing machines. And the crocodile got right past the fact that it was in a place no crocodile should ever be.

It got right to the important stuff. It focused on what it needed to do.

And what it needed to do was eat.

The crocodile tried to swish its tail. But it didn’t have a tail. So it shook my - our - no, my butt.

“Rachel! What are you doing?”

“I - I’m not ..,” I managed to say. Then the crocodile decided he was tired of trying to swim. He was just going to run after his prey. And he did have legs.

Before I could even resist, I was racing across the floor, waving my arms like an idiot and shuffling like a demented lunatic. I raced right at Jeremy Jason McCole.

Right at him, with my massive crocodile jaws open for the quick kill!

Except that I didn’t have crocodile jaws.

“Ahhhh!” Jeremy Jason yelled as I bit down on his shoulder.

Cassie grabbed me and yanked me off him.

“She’s a big fan, Jeremy Jason! She loves you!”

“Get this crazy girl away from me!” Jeremy Jason cried.

I tried to bite Cassie.

Bart Jacobs’s assistant led Marco offstage and another shoved a giant tortoise out into the lights.

<I killed out there,> Marco said. <They love me - hey! Hey!>

I bit Marco on the neck. Fortunately, human teeth aren’t very deadly.

quote:

Cassie dragged me off and now, a little too late, I was beginning to be Rachel again. But that wasn’t the end of my problems. Because even as my human mind rose to the surface again, I felt my weight increase. I felt unbelievably heavy. And I felt the back of my outfit stretch and strain. It tugged
at my neck and sleeves.

Suddenly, I was the Hunchback of Notre Dame. Something very large was growing on my back.

And I had a really bad feeling I knew what it was.

Now I understood what Ax had been talking about. See, I knew the crocodile DNA was going to be expelled from my system. I just didn’t realize it would become a full-grown, twenty-foot-long killing machine in the process.

But what’s sad is that even this wasn’t the worst of it. See, the whole thing was making me very upset. I was mad. I was scared. I was mad at how scared I was. I was a whole basket of extreme emotion.

And I wasn’t rid of my allergy just yet.

quote:

“Rachel!” Cassie gasped.

“I know!” I said.

“We have to get out of here!”

“I know!”

Cassie grabbed me and quick-stepped me off the stage. We brushed rudely past Jeremy Jason, who recoiled in horror from the looney girl who’d bitten him.

We brushed past the clipboard woman who yelled, “Hey, stop! You can’t leave!”

“She has to blow chunks!” Cassie said. “I think it’s stage fright.”

“Down the hall. On the left!”

By the time we reached the ladies’ room, I was beyond hunchback. I looked like a buffalo.

“What are we going to do?” Cassie asked.

“Like I know?” I shrilled. “I have a crocodile coming out of my back! And … and I think I’m … grrr … rroowwwr!” I looked in horror at my hands. Yes, thick brown fur was growing. Fur I knew well.

Grizzly bear fur.

“Ax said you have to focus! Control the process! Or something like that.”

I glared furiously at Cassie. I could no longer speak. I was making a warp speed change to grizzly bear. And not just the feet this time. My blunt muzzle was protruding. My fingers were growing short while my fingernails were becoming the black, hooked claws that could disembowel an elk. And at the same time, the crocodile was emerging from my back. It was literally crawling and squirming out of me.

It didn’t hurt. But oh, man, was it creepy. Creepy beyond any creepiness. And I’m a girl who’s seen some creepy things.

“Oh, no!” Cassie whispered in utter horror, staring at whatever was happening on my back.

Someone tried to open the bathroom door.

“Go away! Occupied!”

“I have to go,” a woman’s voice whined.

“Trust me,” Cassie grated. “Go somewhere else.”

<Cassie!> I cried as soon as I got thought-speak. <This crocodile. He’s not me. Do you understand? He’s a real, out-of-control crocodile!>

Cassie shot a desperate glance around the bathroom. It was way too small to hold a twenty-foot crocodile as well as a grizzly bear.

<Cassie. The croc will kill you.>

Now the crocodile was so heavy it was weighing me down. And in the bathroom mirror I saw the horrendous image of a crocodile snout growing and emerging in the area just behind my own neck.

I would have been knocked to the ground by the sheer weight of the reptile, but as he was growing, I was becoming the grizzly bear. And grizzly bears are extremely strong.

“I don’t have a morph that can beat a crocodile!” Cassie said. “Nothing can fight a crocodile!”

<Then get out!>

“I can’t! You’re blocking the door with your crocodile tail!”

<Get in the stall! Quick! The head is almost formed!>

I saw myself reflected in the mirror. It was an image from the nightmares of a madwoman. It was insane! Two heads seemed to be growing from the same body: grizzly bear and crocodile. The croc snapped its toothy jaws, trying them out.

<Rachel, what if the crocodile attacks the bear?>

I was surprised to hear Cassie using thought-speak. <Cassie, are you morphing in there?>

<Yes!>

<To what?>

<Um … um … a squirrel!>

<A squirrel? A squirrel?!>

<It was all I could think of!>

I felt a slurping, sliding sensation. It was like my guts were being ripped out through my back, only it wasn’t really painful. More like extremely nauseating.

Then I felt the weight drop off me. I heard a loud series of thuds.

The hereth illint was complete. I had “burped” the crocodile.

It lay splayed across the tile floor, its big tail wrapped uncomfortably in the corner, blocking the door.

As for me, I was fully grizzly bear now. I stood erect, with my big shaggy head brushing the acoustical tile ceiling. I felt the amazing power in my massive shoulders. I felt the invincibility of the grizzly bear.

Nothing that lived could take down a grizzly bear. Except … except for perhaps the huge reptile at my feet.

Over the top of the stall door I saw a squirrel, hunkering down on the toilet seat, shaking and quaking in squirrel style.

<The crocodile is eyeing me,> I said. I felt terrible dread. You don’t really know how deadly an animal is till you’ve been that animal.
I’d been the crocodile.

Grizzly bears are unbelievably powerful. They can swing their big paws and knock a horse to the ground. But the grizzly had no weapons to use on the crocodile. Not even the grizzly’s ripping claws would tear a hole in the croc’s scaly armor.

And once that crocodile latched its jaws onto any part of the bear, the bear … me … would be ripped apart, piece by piece.

The crocodile eyed me coldly. It smiled its toothy crocodile smile. And then it lunged.

Epicurius posted:

quote:

And in the bathroom mirror I saw the horrendous image of a crocodile snout growing and emerging in the area just behind my own neck.

I would have been knocked to the ground by the sheer weight of the reptile, but as he was growing, I was becoming the grizzly bear.

Epicurius posted:

So, to summarize the past two chapters, Marco found fame as a llama, Rachel bit Marco and a Controlller. She then gave birth to a crocodile in a bathroom, and now Rachel, as a grizzly bear, and Cassie, as a squirrel, have to fight an angry crocodile in a restroom in a tv studio.

disaster pastor posted: