Let's Read Animorphs! The Whole Series! Ch-ch-ch-chaaanges

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Rochallor: Apr 23, 2010; ふっっっっっっっっっっっっｃｋ

Y'know, I don't know who the Animorphs are writing these for, but I think they may have hosed up by leaving out their last names but mentioning things like their parents' jobs, that they live near the ocean, not far from forests, in the city where the Yeerk Pool was, and probably pretty close to the place where Visser Three got sprayed by a skunk. I mean, we've established that Visser Three is hopelessly incompetent, but I just imagine him poring over these paperbacks being like, "Kansas City? Could it be Kansas City?"

# ? Dec 8, 2020 03:16

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# ? May 24, 2024 06:25

Epicurius: Apr 10, 2010; College Slice

Rochallor posted:

Y'know, I don't know who the Animorphs are writing these for, but I think they may have hosed up by leaving out their last names but mentioning things like their parents' jobs, that they live near the ocean, not far from forests, in the city where the Yeerk Pool was, and probably pretty close to the place where Visser Three got sprayed by a skunk. I mean, we've established that Visser Three is hopelessly incompetent, but I just imagine him poring over these paperbacks being like, "Kansas City? Could it be Kansas City?"

<Fool! I am a conquerer, not a geographer! Once this planet is part of the Great Yeerk Empire, we shall have time to investigate this Kansas City and why, in spite of its name, it is in Missouri!>

# ? Dec 8, 2020 03:19

FlocksOfMice: Feb 3, 2009

Can I get a spoiler of if Tobias ever finds out about being Elfangor's son?

# ? Dec 8, 2020 03:51

Acebuckeye13: Nov 2, 2010; Ultra Carp

FlocksOfMice posted:

Can I get a spoiler of if Tobias ever finds out about being Elfangor's son?

Yes. And Loren shows up again! Not for a long-rear end time though, unfortunately.

# ? Dec 8, 2020 03:53

wizzardstaff: Apr 6, 2018; Zorch! Splat! Pow!

Rochallor posted:

Y'know, I don't know who the Animorphs are writing these for, but I think they may have hosed up by leaving out their last names but mentioning things like their parents' jobs, that they live near the ocean, not far from forests, in the city where the Yeerk Pool was, and probably pretty close to the place where Visser Three got sprayed by a skunk. I mean, we've established that Visser Three is hopelessly incompetent, but I just imagine him poring over these paperbacks being like, "Kansas City? Could it be Kansas City?"

Each book is just a novel-length version of this tweet:

https://twitter.com/dennisfarrell/status/857268898508541955

# ? Dec 8, 2020 03:55

Piell: Sep 3, 2006; Grey Worm's Ken doll-like groin throbbed with the anticipatory pleasure that only a slightly warm and moist piece of lemoncake could offer; Young Orc

This is my favorite book in the series, there's just a whole lot of great stuff in it.

# ? Dec 8, 2020 04:12

Mazerunner: Apr 22, 2010; Good Hunter, what... what is this post?

quote:

I caught a glimpse back down behind me. A glimpse of a strange creature that looked like a blue deer at first. Until you saw the head with its extra stalk eyes mounted on top. And the slashing, scorpion tail.

another data point- tobias thinks the things most immediately noticeably different than 'deer' are:

-blue
-eye stalks on head
-tail

as opposed to human chest and arms

# ? Dec 8, 2020 04:59

disaster pastor: May 1, 2007

Yet another Very Good Book.

Epicurius posted:

Also, for the record, Tobias is Ax's uncle.

Other way around.

# ? Dec 8, 2020 05:00

freebooter: Jul 7, 2009

Rochallor posted:

Y'know, I don't know who the Animorphs are writing these for, but I think they may have hosed up by leaving out their last names but mentioning things like their parents' jobs, that they live near the ocean, not far from forests, in the city where the Yeerk Pool was, and probably pretty close to the place where Visser Three got sprayed by a skunk. I mean, we've established that Visser Three is hopelessly incompetent, but I just imagine him poring over these paperbacks being like, "Kansas City? Could it be Kansas City?"

Five unassociated teenagers in Washington state with parents who run a wildlife rescue clinic, work as a newsreader etc getting abducted and executed aboard the Blade Ship

# ? Dec 8, 2020 05:26

Tree Bucket: Apr 1, 2016; R.I.P.idura leucophrys

freebooter posted:

Five unassociated teenagers in Washington state with parents who run a wildlife rescue clinic, work as a newsreader etc getting abducted and executed aboard the Blade Ship

"I have you now, Andalite filth" sneers Visser 3, for the eighth time that week

# ? Dec 8, 2020 05:27

Comrade Blyatlov: Aug 4, 2007; should have picked four fingers

The logging idea was really good, but I feel like Visser Three needs a sitdown with Michael Caine

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=16Zx9zTXeS0&t=65s

# ? Dec 8, 2020 05:58

Epicurius: Apr 10, 2010; College Slice

disaster pastor posted:

Yet another Very Good Book.

Other way around.

Oh, right. Tobias is Ax's nephew. My apologies.

# ? Dec 8, 2020 06:32

Fritzler: Sep 5, 2007

Rochallor posted:

Y'know, I don't know who the Animorphs are writing these for, but I think they may have hosed up by leaving out their last names but mentioning things like their parents' jobs, that they live near the ocean, not far from forests, in the city where the Yeerk Pool was, and probably pretty close to the place where Visser Three got sprayed by a skunk. I mean, we've established that Visser Three is hopelessly incompetent, but I just imagine him poring over these paperbacks being like, "Kansas City? Could it be Kansas City?"

How many girls were on tv after falling in a crocodile pit? If only we could narrow it down!

# ? Dec 8, 2020 19:46

Tree Bucket: Apr 1, 2016; R.I.P.idura leucophrys

Once again V3's pride is his undoing. If he took on a human host for the invasion of a human world, he'd have access to a lot of really important info!
For all Alloran/Visser 3 knows, there is an annual human festival called "the Casting of Girls into the Pit of Crocodiles" and it'd be foolish to chase it up any further.

# ? Dec 8, 2020 21:39

Silver2195: Apr 4, 2012

Rochallor posted:

Y'know, I don't know who the Animorphs are writing these for, but I think they may have hosed up by leaving out their last names but mentioning things like their parents' jobs, that they live near the ocean, not far from forests, in the city where the Yeerk Pool was, and probably pretty close to the place where Visser Three got sprayed by a skunk. I mean, we've established that Visser Three is hopelessly incompetent, but I just imagine him poring over these paperbacks being like, "Kansas City? Could it be Kansas City?"

This is the biggest plothole in the series, and it's repeated at the start of almost every book.

If you want to rationalize it, maybe they're dictating these to Erek with instructions to make further redactions and release them at some point in the future when he deems it appropriate, or they're using the same memory-recording technology Elfangor used and the I-can't-tell-you-who-I-am stuff is a sort of unintentional transcription of their apprehension about creating a permanent record rather than something they deliberately included with the narrative.

I don't think the books themselves are ever actually mentioned in the series, beyond a few phrases like "as small as the period at the end of this sentence" that imply the existence of a physical manuscript.

# ? Dec 8, 2020 23:12

Epicurius: Apr 10, 2010; College Slice

Tree Bucket posted:

Once again V3's pride is his undoing. If he took on a human host for the invasion of a human world, he'd have access to a lot of really important info!
For all Alloran/Visser 3 knows, there is an annual human festival called "the Casting of Girls into the Pit of Crocodiles" and it'd be foolish to chase it up any further.

If you remember Book 5, the Predator, that's one of the things that Visser One mocks Visser Three for, saying that it, unlike Visser Three, took a human host and learned about humans, and that it's Visser Three's ignorance and incompetence that's ruing the conquest.

# ? Dec 9, 2020 01:51

Epicurius: Apr 10, 2010; College Slice

Animorphs Book 13: The Change-Chapter 3

quote:

I spent the day drifting around on the breeze and checking everything I had learned in the last couple of weeks.

See, we knew the Yeerk pool was a gigantic underground complex beneath the school. We knew it extended at least as far as the mall. But we had never figured out where all the entrances and exits were.

That�s what I�d been doing with my days - following people we knew were Controllers, watching them come and go. From them I learned the extent of the Yeerk pool.

Maybe I should back up and explain. I know you�re probably someone living a nice, normal life.

You go to school, hang out with your friends, have dinner with your family, watch a little TV. Normal. And if I told you that maybe your teachers aren�t really your teachers anymore; and maybe your friends aren�t your friends at all; and maybe even your parents have become something totally different, well, you might think I was nuts.

I understand. You wouldn�t believe how often I have these dreams that maybe none of it�s real. That there is no Yeerk invasion. That Yeerk slugs are not inside the heads of so many people. That maybe I have my own hands and toes � .

It all started when Jake, Cassie, Marco, Rachel, and I took a different way home from the mall. In a dark, eerie, abandoned construction site we saw the spaceship land. And we met the strange part-deer, part-scorpion, part-humanoid creature called an Andalite.

His name was Elfangor. Much later we found out he was Ax�s big brother.

He told us about the Yeerks, the race of parasitic slugs. The Yeerks, who, like some awful galactic disease, are spreading secretly from planet to planet.

They steal bodies. They make other creatures into Controllers - absolute slaves. The entire Hork-Bajir race has been enslaved. As well as the incredibly gross Taxxons, although they went along voluntarily. They�ve gotten the Gedds and other races, too.

And now, it�s our turn.

They are here. The Yeerks are among us. Inside the people you least suspect. Cops. Teachers. Friends. Parents. Reporters. Pastors and priests. Your own brothers and sisters.

The Andalite Prince Elfangor warned us. And he gave us the weapon - the power to morph. To become any animal we could touch and acquire.

There was just one big drawback, see. You can�t stay in a morph for more than two hours. After that you stay in morph forever. That�s what happened to me.

The Yeerks also have a weakness. Every three days they have to return to the Yeerk pool. They drain out of the heads of their host bodies and swim in the sludgy liquid of the pool. There they soak up the Kandrona rays that they must have for nutrition.

So, this is the summary of the Yeerk threat. It's also, I think, more succinct than in previous books.

quote:

We�ve been to the Yeerk pool. It�s not a place you want to see. Trust me. The screams that we�d heard in that place will be with me forever.

The Yeerk pool was where I lost my humanity. Where I passed the fateful two-hour time limit. Someday, somehow, we will destroy that place. But first, we have to understand it better. That�s what I was doing. That�s why I spent my days trying to discover every possible way in and out of it.

I was in the air over the mall at just about two-thirty in the afternoon when I spotted the big bald eagle floating, serene and powerful, on the thermals. The brown body stood out against the clouds, while the white head seemed almost invisible.

It was an odd place for a baldie. They usually like the shore.

I flapped hard to change direction and gain speed toward the eagle. I knew this eagle.

<Is that you, Rachel?> I asked.

<Sure. Who else would it be? Is this great flying weather, or what?>

<It�s perfect. You up for a little cruise?>

<Of course. What�s up?>

<Well, while you and the others have been off saving the world, I�ve been busy, too.>

I shot by, just beneath Rachel�s big eagle wings, and swung out past her, then turned and moved in front of her. I was showing off. I�m more agile in the air than a bald eagle is. Although a baldie is quite a bit bigger than me. Kind of like comparing a turkey to a chicken. Rachel made a sighing sound in my head. <Tobias, just because you can�t come along on every single mission doesn�t mean you need to do extra work.>

<Yeah, well, whatever,> I said. <The point is I�ve been watching known Controllers from the air. I started with Chapman and his wife and the reporter and the policewoman we know about. And Tom, of course.>

Chapman is our assistant principal. He�s a very big deal Controller. Tom is Jake�s brother. He�s a Controller, too.



<Cool. When we know the Yeerk pool entrances, we can start figuring out who more Controllers are.> Rachel sounded impressed. Even though all I�d done was fly around and keep my eyes open.

 I said. I knew I shouldn�t say what I was about to say next. But it was out before I could stop myself. <So. Congratulations, I guess, huh? Packard Foundation Outstanding Student.>

Rachel was silent for a few seconds. <Did someone tell you? Oh, no, of course not. You saw the letter in my notebooks>

<Just call me old hawkeye,> I said lightly.

<Tobias � you know how much I wish you could come. I mean, Cassie will be there, and she�s great. But you know Marco will just be making snide remarks, and Jake will be trying not to laugh.>

<No big deal,> I said. <The only thing is, don�t hide stuff from me because you think it will hurt my feelings, okay? I can�t handle you feeling sorry for me.>

 Rachel lied.

Ouch.

quote:

<Good. Because, you know, how you think about me is sort of important.>

I winced. I�d sounded way too sincere.

I mean, what was I thinking? Rachel�s a human. A real human. I�m a hawk. You think Romeo and Juliet were doomed, just from being from families that didn�t like each other? Well, you can�t get any more doomed than caring for someone who isn�t even the same species.

<Anyway, congratulations,> I said as breezily as I could. <Now follow me, and I�ll give you a little tour of the Yeerk pool entrances.>

<On a day like this, I�d follow you anywhere,> Rachel said.

First off, he's wrong, as we learned in the last book. But, it's just really sad. The thing is, Tobias has been different and felt left out his entire life, and now he's finally with people who he cares about and who cares about him, and he's still left out because he's now a hawk.

Chapter 4

quote:

<We�re not going far. Just to the car wash.>

<They�re using the car wash? No way.> Rachel laughed. <You have to admit, they are ingenious.>

We flew. Not side by side, because that would have looked suspicious. Hawks and eagles don�t exactly fly in formation like geese. We kept a hundred yards apart. But with our incredible vision and thought-speak, we might as well have been next to each other.

We rose higher and higher on the thermals, then thermal-hopped. That�s where you rise to the top of one pillar of warm air and glide to the next. Then you rise again and drift to the next. It�s an easy, lazy kind of flying. You don�t get where you�re going very fast, but you don�t get tired out, either.

It was awfully nice, flying just under the bellies of the clouds with Rachel. I may have lost my human body. But I�ve gained wings. And flying is � well, I�m sure you�ve daydreamed about it. I know I used to. I�d sit in class, gazing out at the sky, or lie back in the grass, looking up, and wonder what it would be like to have wings. To be able to fly up and up and away from all the stupid little problems of life.

Flying is as wonderful as you�d think. It has problems, too, like anything else. But oh man, on a warm day with the mountains of fluffy white clouds showing the way to the thermal updrafts, it�s just wonderful.

<So where are we going? We�re not heading toward the car wash,> Rachel pointed out.

I snapped alert. I looked down at the ground, spotting the familiar road grids and buildings I knew so well from this angle. We were in an area bordering the forest. Not far from Cassie�s farm.

<What am I doing here?> I asked. 

I cranked a hard left turn and beat my wings to gain some speed. Rachel has to deal with the two-hour limit. We�d wasted a lot of that time. I couldn�t believe I�d spaced out so badly.

We flapped hard for a while.

<Um � Tobias? Am I crazy, or are we right back where we were?>

I looked down at the ground. She was right. We were right back in the same area by the edge of the forest.

I felt a cold chill. <No way,> I whispered.

<Are you lost?>

<Lost? Of course not,> I said. 

<Is there something going on here?> Rachel asked.

<This makes no sense,> I said. 

And that�s when I saw it happen.

We were gliding over the edge of the forest. Farmland on one side, all green and perfectly squared. Then a band of scruffy brush and fallen-down wire fence. Then the trees - elms, oaks, various pines.

The trees extended in a long sweep right, from the farmland up into the far-distant mountains.

With my hawk�s vision I could even see snow on those far-off peaks.

But that�s not what I was noticing right then. What I was noticing right then was that a single huge oak tree was sliding to one side.

Just sliding. Like it had no roots. Like it was on a skateboard or something. A huge oak tree just slid over.

And beneath the oak there appeared a hole in the ground.

<What is that?> Rachel demanded.

<You got me,> I said.

<That whole tree is just � moving.>

<And the hole under it isn�t natural,> I pointed out. <It�s too round. It�s man-made.>

<Or else not man-made,> Rachel said darkly.

<Something�s down there! I saw something moving. It�s coming up! Coming up out of the ground!>

 Rachel said. <What is it? Can you see?>

I had a better angle than Rachel. And I could see what was coming up from underground. I saw a snakelike head with huge forward-swept horns.
I saw powerful shoulders and arms that were armed with blades at the elbows and wrists. I saw the big Tyrannosaurus feet and the short, spiked tail and the blades at the knees.

I saw seven feet of razor-bladed death.

<Hork-Bajir,> I said.

So wierd direction finding on Tobias's part aside, it's a Hork-Bajir, which means its time to get into the meat of the book (and probably talk some more about thermals).

# ? Dec 9, 2020 02:11

ANOTHER SCORCHER: Aug 12, 2018

Epicurius posted:

If you remember Book 5, the Predator, that's one of the things that Visser One mocks Visser Three for, saying that it, unlike Visser Three, took a human host and learned about humans, and that it's Visser Three's ignorance and incompetence that's ruing the conquest.

Though in all fairness she basically does the same thing with the Leerans, staying in her preferred human host and eventually losing the planet when the Leerans blow up all the land.

# ? Dec 9, 2020 03:31

Comrade Blyatlov: Aug 4, 2007; should have picked four fingers

ANOTHER SCORCHER posted:

Though in all fairness she basically does the same thing with the Leerans, staying in her preferred human host and eventually losing the planet when the Leerans blow up all the land.

From memory Yeerks have no real way of coping with a no-win scenario, right? They'll just surrender instead of fighting on regardless of their own lives?

# ? Dec 9, 2020 05:50

nine-gear crow: Aug 10, 2013

Comrade Blyatlov posted:

From memory Yeerks have no real way of coping with a no-win scenario, right? They'll just surrender instead of fighting on regardless of their own lives?

Yes. That's ultimately Temrash's downfall in The Capture. Instead of going Slim Pickens and riding the bomb all the way down hooting and hollering and morphing Jake into something small and useless like an ant, waiting out the 2 hour limit and then dying out of spite with a pyrrhic victory, he just gives up completely and takes that big old L. And sets one hell of a pattern...

# ? Dec 9, 2020 10:03

QuickbreathFinisher: Sep 28, 2008; by reading this post you have agreed to form a gay socialist micronation.
`

I'm still thinking about the Mortrons physiology... Detachable heads, biological wheels... :saddowns:

how does that even work

# ? Dec 10, 2020 00:02

Tree Bucket: Apr 1, 2016; R.I.P.idura leucophrys

QuickbreathFinisher posted:

I'm still thinking about the Mortrons physiology... Detachable heads, biological wheels... how does that even work

Maybe they were engineered as living weapons by a long-dead species, using colonial organisms like jellyfish as the base species. You'd have "carapace" critters and "visual sensing" critters and "muscle" critters and so on, that arrange themselves into certain patterns.
The duplication thing is an extra layer of stupid, though, in that they're basically creating matter.

# ? Dec 10, 2020 00:38

cptn_dr: Sep 7, 2011; Seven for beauty that blossoms and dies

Every time you ask "how does that work?" The answer is "Crayak did it"

# ? Dec 10, 2020 00:51

Mazerunner: Apr 22, 2010; Good Hunter, what... what is this post?

Tree Bucket posted:

The duplication thing is an extra layer of stupid, though, in that they're basically creating matter.

maybe they're somehow tapping into the same phenomenon that morphing something larger does, where it just kind of pulls mass from z-space

# ? Dec 10, 2020 02:13

Epicurius: Apr 10, 2010; College Slice

Animorphs Book 13: The Change-Chapter 5

quote:

<Hork-Bajir!> Rachel snarled.

A year ago that name would have meant nothing to me. It would have just been some nonsense word. But now I knew the Hork-Bajir. The Andalite who gave us our powers had told us that the Hork-Bajir were once a decent, peaceful species. But they had been enslaved by the Yeerks. All of them were Controllers now. The entire species carried the Yeerk slugs in their heads.

And with the Yeerks controlling their every action, the Hork-Bajir were walking killing machines.

Amazingly fast. Incredibly strong. Armored, bladed, almost fearless. They were the shock troops of the Yeerk empire.

Hork-Bajir had come close to killing Rachel several times. And all of us had felt the Hork-Bajir blades at least once.

<What is a Hork-Bajir doing, coming out in broad daylight?> Rachel asked.

I looked closely. The Hork-Bajir was climbing some kind of ladder. When it reached the surface, it blinked its reptile-like eyes at the light. It climbed out and stood like some vision of a demon. Then I noticed that there was a second Hork-Bajir coming up behind it.

<There are two of them!> Rachel said.

<Yeah. And you know what? I think they look scared.>

Just then �

SKREEEET! SKREEEET! SKREEEET!

The alarm was deafening to my hawk hearing. The sound screamed up from the hole in the ground. The two Hork-Bajir jerked in surprise and fear. One of them grabbed the other and held it close for a split second. In an instant, they were off and running through the forest.

Running as if their lives depended on it.

And let me tell you something - Hork-Bajir can move out when they want. Those big, long legs take big, long steps. They plowed into the brush, slashing wildly with their bladed arms, slicing through bushes and thorns and small trees like a harvester going through a wheat field.

<How are you doing on morph time?> I asked Rachel.

 she said.

<So we follow these guys?>

<Oh, yeah.>

We flapped to gain some of the altitude we�d lost and prepared to follow the Hork-Bajir. Not much of a challenge, really. They were chopping a path straight through the woods that a blind man could follow.

<They�re not exactly into the stealth thing, are they?> Rachel commented.

And that�s when things really broke loose. Up from the hole in the ground humans poured. Armed humans. Men and women, dressed in an array of normal-looking human clothing.

Controllers, of course. Not that you could tell by looking. But I knew now that hole led down to the Yeerk pool. And there was no doubt in my mind - these humans were human-Controllers. Slaves to the Yeerks in their heads.

They carried human weapons - automatic rifles, handguns, shotguns.

The Yeerks were going after the two Hork-Bajir. But they were being careful. They were sending only human-Controllers. They weren�t going to risk any more Hork-Bajir being seen by normal people.

Twenty � thirty human-Controllers climbed up out of the hole.

<They�ll never catch them,> Rachel said.



Up from the hole, machines began to appear. They seemed to levitate. I almost laughed when I saw them.

<Dirt bikes? The Yeerks have motorcycles?> It seemed bizarre, even funny. The Yeerks have faster-than-light spacecrafts. Now they were using dirt bikes?

<Uh-oh,> Rachel said. <The Hork-Bajir are fast, but they aren�t that fast.>

VrrrrRRRROOOM! VrrrrRRRROOOM! Vrrrr-RRRROOOOM!

Human-Controllers were firing up the motorcycles. I could hear the sputtering roar of the engines. In all, fifteen Yamahas and Kawasakis came up through that hole.

VrrrrRRRROOOM! Vrrrrraaaa-vrrrraaa-vraaaa!

The motorcycles took off. Some had just one rider. Others had two - one to steer and one to shoot. The Hork-Bajir had a lead of a few hundred yards, but they�d never outrun this small army. As I watched from the safety of the air above, the motorcycles roared off through the woods in pursuit. They churned up dirt and leaves and shattered the quiet.

And they gained quickly on the two fleeing Hork-Bajir.

BLAM! BLAM! BLAM! BLAM!

Rifles barked. Motorcycles roared! The Hork-Bajir ran, but the bikes leaped and twisted and snaked toward them.

BLAM! BLAM! BLAM!

BAMBAMBAMBAMBAMBAMBAMBAM!

Rifles, automatic weapons, and shotguns all ripped apart the tree trunks. The human-Controllers were firing wildly. Firing at anything that moved. From the ground they couldn�t see the Hork-Bajir yet. But they could see flashes of them, and they kept on shooting.

<This is going to be all over in about ten seconds,> Rachel said grimly. <What are we going to do?>

<You want to help Hork-Bajir?> I asked incredulously.

<Have you ever heard the saying, �The enemy of my enemy is my friend�? The Yeerks want these two Hork-Bajir dead. That�s good enough for me.>

<Me, too,> I said. <We�ll have to use thought-speak. Talk directly to them.>

<Let�s do it,> Rachel said.

I would have smiled if I�d had a mouth. Rachel is so brave she is just short of being reckless. I like that about her.

<Hey. Hork-Bajir down there.>

I saw them stagger, as though they were shocked and amazed to be hearing thought-speak. Like that was their major problem.

<You�re about ten seconds away from being dead,> I said. <Listen to me and you just might get out of this alive.>

Ok, so it's Tobias and Rachel's Hork-Bajir adventure. This whole thing has a very action tv show vibe about it....the bad guys racing along in a small fleet of motorcycles shooting guns at our heroes....err, escaping Hork-Bajir.

Chapter 6

quote:

<First of all, stop tearing up the foliage, geniuses. They�re following the trail you make. And second of all � jump left! Now! Jump!>

The two Hork-Bajir leaped to their left, just as a pair of motorcycles roared past, missing them by a few feet.

BOOM! BOOM!

One of the Controllers cut loose with both barrels of a shotgun. I could see the pellets tear a tree trunk to wet sawdust.

<Okay, keep going that direction,> I told the Hork-Bajir.

Thought-speak is kind of like E-mail. You can address it to everyone, or you can address it to a certain person. It sounds complicated, but you get used to it.

<Do you have a plan?> Rachel asked me so that the Hork-Bajir couldn�t overhear.

 I admitted.

<Do you know a safe place for them to hide?>

I searched my memory. I had to think like a human, not a bird. The Hork-Bajir couldn�t exactly hide in trees.

<Yeah. There�s a cave I know about. If we can keep them alive till then.>

The Hork-Bajir were running flat out. But now I saw a pair of big four-by-four pickup trucks coming from the other direction. The trucks raced along a dirt road, coming up to cut off the two fugitive Hork-Bajir. The Yeerks were pulling out all the stops.

<Man, this is like a really bad chess game where the other player has all the pieces,> I muttered.

<You know these woods, Tobias,> Rachel said. <That�s our edge.>

<Yeah. We hope.> I turned my head left and right. Yes. I did know these woods. I knew where we were. I knew every tree and every ravine and every tiny stream.

<Okay, you guys, cut to your right now. There�s a ditch. But there are a couple of Controllers in your way. So you need to pass the big rock pile there, keeping it on your left.>

The Hork-Bajir hesitated, missed a couple of steps, and looked around in confusion.

<Did you guys hear me?>

<They heard you,> Rachel said tersely. 

<Oh. Great. Oooookay. In that case, let�s play follow the leader.> I took a deep breath and glanced around to make sure I knew exactly where I was. Then I spilled a little air from my wings, tried to keep all the speed I could, and dropped down into the trees. <Okay. Time to play �follow the big birdie�!>

I zoomed just over their heads.

<Yeah, me. The big brown bird with the pretty red tail. Follow me and stay close!>

<Tobias!> Rachel yelled. <One of the trucks is moving in ahead of you!>

I zoomed left and the twin monsters came racing right after me.

Have you ever flown at full speed right through a densely packed forest? Probably not. So let me tell you - it�s exciting. Exciting like a video game set to the highest speed, where one wrong move means you�re a bundle of crushed bird bones and feathers.

<Stay with me, boys, we�re gonna be hauling butt,> I said. I shot between two trees that were so close together I felt my wingtips brush rough bark. I cranked a right so sudden and sharp I almost splattered against an oak. And then I flapped hard to gain speed before the two not-very-bright HorkBajir
ran over me.

High overhead, Rachel called down with updates.

<Tobias! Three dirt bikes on your left, converging!>

<Tobias, that truck is coming up behind you. They�ve spotted the Hork-Bajir!>

<Tobias! Look out! Guy with a gun!>

BOOM! BOOM!

Shotgun pellets ripped the air around me and stripped the leaves from a branch.

My flying muscles were aching, but I was too high on sheer adrenaline to care. It was insane! I was rocketing through the woods, barely missing tree trunks, just skimming above the saplings, blowing through territories belonging to other birds who�d have killed me themselves if I�d slowed
down.

I was the rabbit and the two deadly Hork-Bajir were the dogs chasing me through the woods. And I�ll say this for the Hork-Bajir - they may not be great at following instructions, but they knew how to stay on a target.

ZOOM! Through the trees!

ZOOM! Barely rising fast enough to clear a rocky outcropping!

ZOOM! Left!

ZOOM! Right!

ZOOM! Straight up with every single muscle screaming.

�Tseeeeeer!� I screamed in a combination of fear and total powered-up, red-tailed excitement.

Man, I was doing some serious flying. But I was not getting close to my goal. And I was not losing the pursuing dirt bikes and four-by-fours.

<Tobias! Oh, man! There�s a helicopter coming up from the south. Maybe two minutes away!>

<We�re dead meat if that chopper gets here before we lose these Controllers on the ground. There�s a stream. Think these monsters swim?>

<They don�t look like they do,> Rachel said.

<Hork-Bajir. Can you swim? If you can, signal me by quickly slicing down the next sapling you come to.>

Slash! A sapling was suddenly shorter.

<All right then, stay with me!>

So I like these chapters, but I don't really know that I have much to say about them. It seems like they'd be fun to see on screen. So, for anyone who doesn't know already, any speculation on the Hork-Bajir Tobias is guiding through the woods?

# ? Dec 10, 2020 03:38

Bobulus: Jan 28, 2007

Epicurius posted:

So, for anyone who doesn't know already, any speculation on the Hork-Bajir Tobias is guiding through the woods?

Well, Andalite Chronicles was the last thing I read as a kid, so I'm free to speculate! Probably not rebelling yeerks, since the narrative has emphasized that they're not very smart. Possibly HBs that somehow got free? If they've been controlled since childhood, that could explain the lack of experience following directions. The wrong direction flying thing screams 'Ellemist really wanted them to help these two', so...

# ? Dec 10, 2020 04:56

Comrade Blyatlov: Aug 4, 2007; should have picked four fingers

SLEEPER AGENTS

# ? Dec 10, 2020 06:07

freebooter: Jul 7, 2009

Bobulus posted:

If they've been controlled since childhood, that could explain the lack of experience following directions.

Tobias and Rachel not understanding why they'd have trouble following directions made me realise that although I remember it as a matter of fact, I don't think it's yet been revealed to the reader/characters that Hork Bajir are a primitive and not particularly intelligent species? Ax presumably knows but there's no reason he would have shared that.

# ? Dec 10, 2020 07:45

freebooter: Jul 7, 2009

Also how do we pronounce Hork Bajir? I always thought "hawk bajeh," with the last syllable rhyming with chair, but it should probably actually be "hawk bajeer."

# ? Dec 10, 2020 07:47

wizzardstaff: Apr 6, 2018; Zorch! Splat! Pow!

I say HORK bah-JEER.

# ? Dec 10, 2020 08:05

Mazerunner: Apr 22, 2010; Good Hunter, what... what is this post?

like a badger with something caught in its throat

# ? Dec 10, 2020 08:08

Comrade Blyatlov: Aug 4, 2007; should have picked four fingers

wizzardstaff posted:

I say HORK bah-JEER.

This, but with that soft rolling j. Uh, how does one write that?

# ? Dec 10, 2020 08:33

MrNemo: Aug 26, 2010; "I just love beeting off"

I'm kind of imagining the Hork Bajir were left in a cage while their Yeerks were in the pool without sufficient guards. Either that or they were allowed to escape to try and set a trap but the set up for the Animorphs does seem way more 'an Elemist wants to make sure you meet them.'

# ? Dec 10, 2020 08:50

Shwoo: Jul 21, 2011

I missed all of Elfangor Drives A Mustang Through The Desert And Nothing Bad Happens, but it's pretty funny that Visser Three has been Visser Three for longer than Tobias has been alive. Years longer, if the Ellimist time travelled Elfangor to that battle. Visser Three's career is going nowhere. No wonder he hates Visser One so much.

Comrade Blyatlov posted:

This, but with that soft rolling j. Uh, how does one write that?

In IPA it's ʒ, but I don't think there's a standardised way to write it in English. Zh, maybe?

I think HORK ba-JIR with the soft j is how they said it on the TV show, if they did say it, so it's probably the intended pronunciation.

# ? Dec 10, 2020 09:04

Piell: Sep 3, 2006; Grey Worm's Ken doll-like groin throbbed with the anticipatory pleasure that only a slightly warm and moist piece of lemoncake could offer; Young Orc

From Applegate: Here's how I pronounce them: Hork rhymes with "cork," and Bajir sounds like "buh-JEER";

# ? Dec 10, 2020 12:57

Fuschia tude: Dec 26, 2004; THUNDERDOME LOSER 2019

Comrade Blyatlov posted:

This, but with that soft rolling j. Uh, how does one write that?

I don't think you can, in English; you need IPA notation. /bəʒɪr/

Shwoo posted:

In IPA it's ʒ, but I don't think there's a standardised way to write it in English. Zh, maybe?

There's actually not a single native word in English containing the combination "zh". It's always written with other letters.

# ? Dec 10, 2020 13:15

disaster pastor: May 1, 2007

Fuschia tude posted:

I don't think you can, in English; you need IPA notation. /bəʒɪr/

There's actually not a single native word in English containing the combination "zh". It's always written with other letters.

There's no native word with "zh," but when we borrow ʒ or ʐ from languages that don't use the Latin alphabet, it's certainly standardized as "zh." So in English we have measure and luxury and azure and equation and garage, because we don't know what the gently caress we're doing, and in French there are Jacques and jour and Jean, and we keep the j when we Anglify it. But Brezhnev and Zhivago get to be Brezhnev and Zhivago, not Brejnev or Jivago, because we've standardized "zh" as "how we write ж and other ʒ/ʐ sounds in English, unless they have a Latin-alphabet spelling we're cool with" (and they're not Bre�nev or �ivago because we're too lazy for hačeks).

# ? Dec 10, 2020 14:20

Tree Bucket: Apr 1, 2016; R.I.P.idura leucophrys

disaster pastor posted:

...because we've standardized .... in English....

Lies!

disaster pastor posted:

because we're too lazy for hačeks).

Hmm, yes, fair enough

# ? Dec 11, 2020 00:43

Epicurius: Apr 10, 2010; College Slice

Animorphs Book 13: The Change-Chapter 7

quote:

I hung a brutally hard right and scraped my belly across a branch doing it. I fought my way through the grasping twigs and leaves and motored on.

<Thank goodness I ate a good breakfast,> I muttered.

<Tobias! You can�t go that way. The trucks will cut you off! They have guys in the back of each one with shotguns.>

<No choice,> I said. <In about two minutes I�m going to collapse. And right about then that helicopter will get here!>

<Okay. Then we need to get rid of the guys with the guns,> Rachel said calmly. Like flying against a guy with a shotgun was no big deal.

<Rachel, have I ever mentioned that you are extremely cool?> I said. Then, to the Hork-Bajir: <Just keep running this same direction. Don�t stop.>

I peeled away, and fought my way up and up and up, above the treetops. There was Rachel, gliding majestically on her huge eagle�s wings. I needed altitude so I could turn it into speed.

Ahead, through the gaps in the tree cover, I could see the two pickup trucks. They were still bouncing along, kicking up dust as they hurried to cut off the Hork-Bajir.

In the back of each truck there was a man with a shotgun. These guys were holding on for dear life, so at least we had a chance of not getting killed.

<You take the one on the left. Ready?> I asked Rachel.

<Let�s do it,> she said.

We aimed to intercept the trucks. Like a pair of cruise missiles, we targeted the spot where the trucks would be in five seconds. Four seconds. Three seconds.

I could see my guy clearly. Middle-aged human. He looked like a guy you�d see working in a hardware store or something. But he wasn�t really human. The Yeerk in his head was aiming the gun.

Two seconds!

The Controller saw me. He frowned. Then he realized �

One second!

The shotgun came up. The twin barrels looked huge.

I raked my talons forward.

BOOM!

The shot passed millimeters over my head. I actually felt the wind!

�Tseeeeeer!�

I struck! The Controller fell off the back of the truck, clutching his face and howling.

A split second later, Rachel hit her target.

At that same instant the two Hork-Bajir came barreling out of the woods, right into the racing trucks. One jumped. He sailed over the truck and landed hard on the far side.

The second Hork-Bajir was too slow.

WHAM!

The truck slammed the Hork-Bajir. The Hork-Bajir went flying and sprawled in a brush-covered ditch.

BOOM! BOOM! Rachel�s guy was firing blindly.

The first Hork-Bajir was up, but not running. I was close enough to hear him bellow in a voice full of despair.

�Kalashi! Kalashi!�

<Move, you idiot!> I screamed at the Hork-Bajir.

The two trucks had braked in a cloud of dust and dirt, fishtailing wildly on the narrow dirt road.

Guys were piling out of the cabs, armed to the teeth.

From the edge of the woods, just down the road, three dirt bikes roared into sight.

BOOM! BOOM!

BLAMBLAMBLAM!

The Hork-Bajir froze. He looked up at me as I shot past him. And he said, �No! My kalashi! My wife!�

<Wife?> I said.

<Wife?> Rachel echoed. That may have been the last word I�d ever expected to hear a Hork-Bajir say.

<You�ll be dead in two seconds,> I snapped at the Hork-Bajir after I�d recovered from the shock. <Run. Run, or you�re no good to anyone!>

He ran.

I guided him to the stream that lay half-concealed behind a stand of trees. He hit the water with surprisingly little splash and disappeared beneath the surface.

<He said wife, right?> I asked Rachel.

<Wife,> she agreed.

Wife.

Chapter 8

quote:

�Wife? Excuse me, you said wife?� Marco asked incredulously. �You mean there�s such a thing as a female Hork-Bajir?!�

 I said. <We didn�t really have time to ask.>

It was late afternoon. We were all in Cassie�s barn. Actually, I was in the rafters of Cassie�s barn, looking down at the rest of the group - Jake, Cassie, Marco, Ax, and Rachel, back in human form again.

Ax was in his own, natural Andalite body. It�s a danger to have him there because we can never allow anyone to see the Ax-man. I mean, one look at Aximili-Esgarrouth-Isthill, at the two movable stalk eyes on top of his head and the deadly scorpion tail and the centaur body, and you know he�s not
exactly a local boy.

But it was worth the risk, since he knew more about Hork-Bajir than any of us did. Besides, I was providing security. From my place up in the rafters, I could see out through the hayloft to Cassie�s house. And since I have excellent hearing as well as sight, I�d know if anyone approached the barn.

Cassie�s barn is actually the Wildlife Rehabilitation Clinic. It is full of every kind of local wild animal. The wire cages are piled high all around the barn.

Both Cassie�s parents are veterinarians. Her mom works at The Gardens, which is this big amusement park and zoo complex.

Her father runs the clinic with a lot of help from Cassie. They take in injured or sick wild animals. And right now, beneath me in the cages, there was a sampling of all the animals that lived in the area - opossums, voles, rabbits, skunks, foxes, raccoons, squirrels, and so on. Many of them would have made a nice snack for me, but Cassie and I have an agreement about that - I don�t eat her patients.

That's civilized.

quote:

In addition to the land animals, there were bats and birds. Cassie actually rescues pigeons and crows and even jays. I have nothing against pigeons, but I don�t like crows and ravens and jays. They�re like the gangsters of the bird world. Plus, they�re smart. They can work together to mob
peaceful raptors like me. Sometimes a bunch of them will actually try to steal a kill from me.

And believe me, you get six or eight big, fat jays or crows attacking you all at once, and it can be very annoying. But that�s another story.

�How exactly do you tell a man Hork-Bajir from a woman Hork-Bajir?� Marco asked. �Do the women put makeup on their wrist blades? Do they use nail polish on those big nasty toes of theirs?�

Rachel rolled her eyes. �We didn�t have a chance to go into it, all right? We barely got the one Hork-Bajir to the cave.�

�I mean, do female Hork-Bajir cry at �chick� movies?� Marco went on, talking mostly to himself.

�Do they get all goo-goo when they see a baby?�

�What about the female?� Jake asked Rachel and me.

Rachel shrugged and looked away.

<We don�t know,> I said. <We saw her get knocked into the ditch. That was it.>

�Man, this whole thing stinks. It�s a trap. It�s a setup,� Marco said. �But I think the real question is, do female Hork-Bajir get all weird around bugs and snakes?�



�Weird around bugs and snakes?� Cassie asked with a raised eyebrow. �Is that how girls are, Marco?� With that, she reached into a low drawer beneath the bottom row of cages. A second later, a snake was lightly tossed through the air in Marco�s direction.

�Ahhh! Ahhhh! Ahhhh! Get it off me!�

Cassie retrieved the harmless garden snake and put it back in its drawer while everyone laughed. Except Ax, who doesn�t always get human humor.

He deserved it.

quote:

Even Marco had to laugh. �Oh, that was so not fair. Funny, yes. Fair, no. Can we please act more mature here?�

�Sure, Marco,� Rachel said. �Why don�t you leave and we�ll automatically be a more mature group?�

�Could we stick to business?� Jake asked. But he was still smiling from the snake thing, so no one took him too seriously.

�Why would a Yeerk � even a Yeerk inside a Hork-Bajir, want to run away?� Marco asked. �Sooner or later he has to get back to the Yeerk pool. It doesn�t make any sense.�

Rachel sighed. �Marco, how dumb are you? Don�t you get it? These aren�t Controllers. There is no Yeerk. Somehow these two Hork-Bajir are free.�

Cassie looked thoughtful. �Isn�t it kind of a coincidence that you just happened to be in the area where the Hork-Bajir were escaping?�

<Yes,> I said. <Definitely. Especially since I wasn�t even heading there. I was actually trying to go somewhere else.>

I saw the two stalk eyes on Ax�s head swing up to focus on me with new interest. His main eyes stayed on Jake.

Cassie gave me a tilted-head puzzled look. �You mean -�

But Rachel interrupted. �Look, we need to decide what to do about this. We�ve got this Hork- Bajir male in a cave. But the Yeerks will keep looking for him. And I have to tell you, this Hork-Bajir is not exactly Stephen Hawking.�

�Who?� Cassie asked.

<He is a human physicist,> Ax responded. <I�ve read some of his writings. He is very brilliant, but also very wrong about several things. For example, when he refers to the structure of atoms in ->

Jake threw up his hands in exasperation. �Is there any chance we could stick to business?�

�I remember when Jake used to be fun,� Marco said in a loud whisper. �Now he�s such a grownup.�

�I was never fun,� Jake said with a tolerant smile.

�No, you were never smart, but you were always fun,� Marco teased.

�The question is, what do we do about this Hork-Bajir?� Rachel asked. �He�s sitting out there in a cave in the woods moaning about his kalashi. What do we do with him?�

We all looked at Ax like he�d have the answer.

 Ax said. <They�ve been slaves of the Yeerks for a long time. But it is possible. Maybe somehow, while this Hork-Bajir�s Yeerk was in the Yeerk pool, the Hork-Bajir managed to escape. It is possible. His wife as well. In which case these may be the only free Hork-Bajir in the entire galaxy. The only two free members of their species.>

�Imagine �� Cassie whispered. �Imagine being the only two free humans in all the world ��

Somehow no one felt like messing around anymore. Even Marco looked thoughtful. If the Yeerks won, humans would be no different than the Hork-Bajir - absolute slaves of the Yeerk empire.

�So what do we do with the only free Hork-Bajir in the galaxy?� Marco asked.

<What does the Hork-Bajir want to do?> Ax asked me and Rachel.

Pretty drat good question.

quote:

Rachel and I stared blankly at each other. <You know,> I admitted, <we never asked.>

�Then I guess that�s step one,� Jake said. �Let�s find out what the Hork-Bajir wants.�

Everyone agreed. But I saw that Cassie was still troubled. Under her breath she muttered, �And then let�s find out why Tobias was somewhere he didn�t mean to be.�

I don�t think anyone else heard her. But I did.

Why had I been there?

Ellimist did it. Isn't that pretty much always the answer?

Epicurius fucked around with this message at 04:50 on Dec 11, 2020

# ? Dec 11, 2020 04:12

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# ? May 24, 2024 06:25

Comrade Blyatlov: Aug 4, 2007; should have picked four fingers

You've reprinted chapter 6.

# ? Dec 11, 2020 04:20

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > Let's Read Animorphs! The Whole Series! Ch-ch-ch-chaaanges

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