UKMT December 2020 - Best viewed with Brexcape Navigator 4+

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Borrovan: Aug 15, 2013; IT IS ME.
🧑‍💼
I AM THERESA MAY

Jfc why did he have to name it after a disgraced former D&D mod

e: in 1972 Jeremy Corbyn personally high-fived every one of the Munich bombers

Borrovan fucked around with this message at 18:01 on Dec 13, 2020

# ? Dec 13, 2020 17:59

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 23, 2024 12:47

notaspy: Mar 22, 2009

CommieGIR posted:

https://twitter.com/cstross/status/1338165143449051139?s=20

That screenshot from a story that was run a 12-18 months ago.

It has been debunked as nothing much out of the ordinary for scumbag capitalists like that.

# ? Dec 13, 2020 18:16

Convex: Aug 19, 2010

https://www.reuters.com/article/idUSFWN2IS08H

Reuters posted:

(Reuters) - British ministers have warned supermarkets to stockpile food amid possibilities of a no-deal Brexit, with shortages feared as talks with the European Union remain deadlocked, The Sunday Times newspaper reported bit.ly/2W9lP3J.
UK Prime Minister Boris Johnson is set to take control of planning if Britain opts for no deal and will chair an exit operations committee to prepare the response, the newspaper reported.
Ministers have told suppliers of medicines, medical devices and vaccines to stockpile six weeks’ worth at secure locations in the United Kingdom, the report added.

Oh cool

# ? Dec 13, 2020 18:17

NoneMoreNegative: Jul 20, 2000; GOTH FASCISTIC
PAIN MASTER

shit wizard dad

Payndz posted:

Colossus: The Corbyn Project. An AI the size of a mountain used to plan the growth of the perfect marrow.

The Peace of Jam Socialism or The Peace of Unburied Death

# ? Dec 13, 2020 18:24

clear eyes full farts: Jul 3, 2007; the uk is just awful
It's a fake democracy
with free education and healthcare as long as you are a dosser and I am trapped here

ngl I bought a car with a huge boot recently partially because I thought it might be useful if I needed to go to Ireland to buy lots of groceries

# ? Dec 13, 2020 18:53

goddamnedtwisto: Dec 31, 2004; If you ask me about the mole people in the London Underground, I WILL be forced to kill you; Fun Shoe

notaspy posted:

That screenshot from a story that was run a 12-18 months ago.

It has been debunked as nothing much out of the ordinary for scumbag capitalists like that.

Yeah, the entire "logic" of hedge funds is they're supposed to assess risk and take up short positions* that minimise their exposure to that risk.

The relevant stat is whether hedge funds donating to Johnson hedged against no-deal harder than those who didn't. Even then if you're a vulture capitalist looking to make money from a *guaranteed* no-deal you don't use short positions because the potential gains are limited - you use long positions on industries/funds that you know are likely to show massive growth (bailiffs, privatised prisons, funeral homes).

(Very quick and only vaguely accurate primer - a short position is basically a bet that the price of something will go down. The traditional way of doing it - and still the way the pricing of it works - is that you "borrow" a stock from a holder for a small fee for a fixed amount of time.

Let's say you've heard that EvilCo are about to reveal that their big project to melt down old people to use as Bentley wax is a failure, as the old people are too undernourished to provide the rich shine that Bentleys deserve, and so their share price is about to drop. You find a pension fund or other large institution that tends to hold onto shares for the long run, and ask to borrow their 10,000 shares of EvilCo for a week for a small fee. You sell them at �100 each on Monday, on Friday the announcement comes out and the share price drops to �50. You buy up 10,000 shares at �50 each and give them back to the pension fund, keeping the �500,000 difference.

Obviously the profit you can make on this is limited by the fact that the lowest price a commodity can hit is zero* so your absolute maximum profit on this deal is a million quid. However if it turns out that the chairman of EvilCo goes to the same Mayfair sex dungeon as half the Cabinet, and so the Government gives them a massive contract to turn the leftover bones and offal into a nutritious stew to be sold at the G4S Orphanarium And Nonce Buffet at a 1000% markup and their price goes up, your losses are theoretically unlimited.

If you had inside information that Project Grannyshine was going to fail you'd instead buy up their less flashy competitor, Amalgamated Panda Juicers, whose share price would skyrocket when EvilCo went down, which reverses the risk/reward ratio.

Of course even this nonsense is far too logical for our financial markets so the actual transactions are now several dozen layers of abstraction deep but basically just boil down to making individual bets with other investors without ever getting the actual shares involved. Like everything in the City it starts with a relatively simple and benign (by Capital standards, obv) idea - in this case to minimise risk - and is instead turned into a get rich quick scheme so naked that Charles Ponzi would blush.

* Someone will chime in with the time that the price of crude oil went negative here, but that was a futures contract which is its own thing)

# ? Dec 13, 2020 18:56

Danger - Octopus!: Apr 20, 2008; Nap Ghost

Convex posted:

https://www.reuters.com/article/idUSFWN2IS08H

Oh cool

Is he going to plan for no deal stockpiles as well as he planned for the pandemic? Because I guess a blazing pile of vital supplies slowly turning to ash will be the only end result somehow.

# ? Dec 13, 2020 19:03

Failed Imagineer: Sep 22, 2018

clear eyes full farts posted:

ngl I bought a car with a huge boot recently partially because I thought it might be useful if I needed to go to Ireland to buy lots of groceries

After decades of Dubs driving over to Newry to stock up on cheap spirits it would be interesting to see the whole thing reversed

# ? Dec 13, 2020 19:05

DarkCrawler: Apr 6, 2009; by vyelkin

I just can't anymore with Brexit. Four loving years. Instead of the mess winding down, we're heading for Cod Wars II: Those Fish Are Mine.

Just leeaaaavvveee

# ? Dec 13, 2020 19:26

Jose: Jul 24, 2007; Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer

Convex posted:

https://www.reuters.com/article/idUSFWN2IS08H

Oh cool

what is just in time shipping

alternatively where are the supermarkets going to stock pile this food

# ? Dec 13, 2020 19:46

OwlFancier: Aug 22, 2013

In the warehouse, which immediately around christmas is definitely never full of all that poo poo instead.

# ? Dec 13, 2020 19:48

feedmegin: Jul 30, 2008

I think you mean 'rotting in a lorry in a traffic jam in Kent'.

# ? Dec 13, 2020 20:03

Red Oktober: May 24, 2006; wiggly eyes!

Convex posted:

https://www.reuters.com/article/idUSFWN2IS08H

quote:
(Reuters) - British ministers have warned supermarkets to stockpile food amid possibilities of a no-deal Brexit, with shortages feared as talks with the European Union remain deadlocked, The Sunday Times newspaper reported bit.ly/2W9lP3J.
UK Prime Minister Boris Johnson is set to take control of planning if ~~Britain opts for no deal~~Johnson fails to negotiate "the easiest deal in history" and will chair an exit operations committee to prepare the response, the newspaper reported.
Ministers have told suppliers of medicines, medical devices and vaccines to stockpile six weeks� worth at secure locations in the United Kingdom, the report added.

Oh cool

Cool, cool cool cool.

Man's a loving failure at everything he touches.

I wish the press would just actually say 'Johnson is poo poo at his job'. It's the big lie that everyone is ignoring, the man is just not good at what he tries to do.

And don't come in and say "what he wants to do is funnel money to his mates", he doesn't, he wants to be the big successful Churchill leader. He just isn't good at it.

Red Oktober fucked around with this message at 20:08 on Dec 13, 2020

# ? Dec 13, 2020 20:06

crispix: Mar 28, 2015; Grand-Maman m'a raconté
_{(Les éditions des amitiés franco-québécoises)}

Hello, dear

It's on BBC news that people have been told not to stockpile food ahead of January, so that'll be the start of people stockpiling

# ? Dec 13, 2020 20:09

happyhippy: Feb 21, 2005; Playing games, watching movies, owning goons. 'sup; Pillbug

Needs that hbomberguy aquaman meme, but with 'STOCKPILE OUR SHOPS HOW! FROM THE SAME SUPPLIES THAT WONT GET IN QUICK ENOUGH!'

# ? Dec 13, 2020 20:12

namesake: Jun 19, 2006; "When I was a girl, around 12 or 13, I had a fantasy that I'd grow up to marry Captain Scarlet, but he'd be busy fighting the Mysterons so I'd cuckold him with the sexiest people I could think of - Nigel Mansell, Pat Sharp and Mr. Blobby."

I'm glad I did my stockpiling a month ago.

# ? Dec 13, 2020 20:14

JollyBoyJohn: Feb 13, 2019; For Real!

I fell down a weird youtube hole today and learned about sheep dipping and sheep mulesing and maybe its because I haven't had a smoke in 2 weeks but it made me feel a bit queasy and it feels like now is as good a time as ever to go vegetarian

# ? Dec 13, 2020 20:16

Communist Thoughts: Jan 7, 2008; Our war against free speech cannot end until we silence this bronze beast!

Red Oktober posted:

Man's a loving failure at everything he touches.

And don't come in and say "what he wants to do is funnel money to his mates", he doesn't, he wants to be the big successful Churchill leader. He just isn't good at it.

I think that's naive. The ideal that parliament is about something other than corruption and patronage can't survive contact with parliament and I don't think he has any misgivings about that.

Most tories know that's the case but think its childish and dangerous to want to change things since the corruption has worked for a long time so far.

Imo What he wants to do is funnel money to his mates and have some sort of legacy. Probably as an amusing footnote of this wacky lad who was PM for a bit.

I think it's probably a bit too real for him but he's completely insulated from consequences and the absolute worst outcome for him will be a lot of hagriographies about how he tried his best and saved the country from Corbyn.

# ? Dec 13, 2020 20:20

happyhippy: Feb 21, 2005; Playing games, watching movies, owning goons. 'sup; Pillbug

Can see a rise in vegetarians due to Brexit.
Or just meat not bought as often as could be more of a 'luxury' good as it used to be.

# ? Dec 13, 2020 20:22

a pipe smoking dog: Jan 25, 2010; "haha, dogs can't smoke!"

JollyBoyJohn posted:

I fell down a weird youtube hole today and learned about sheep dipping and sheep mulesing and maybe its because I haven't had a smoke in 2 weeks but it made me feel a bit queasy and it feels like now is as good a time as ever to go vegetarian

Mulesing is obviously horrific (and I don't think that common in this country) but what is the issue with dipping? I grew up in rural Wales so I might have a blind spot on this.

Also both have more to do with wool production than meat.

# ? Dec 13, 2020 20:29

JollyBoyJohn: Feb 13, 2019; For Real!

a pipe smoking dog posted:

Mulesing is obviously horrific (and I don't think that common in this country) but what is the issue with dipping? I grew up in rural Wales so I might have a blind spot on this.

Also both have more to do with wool production than meat.

i dunno, it just seems pretty hosed up that they push sheep into a chemical vat joker style at least from the videos i watched today. Don't get me wrong theres more i could bore you with, i feel like ive put on weight over lockdown for one, theres the whole brexit thing and the potential costs of food, maybe realising i don't have enough of a varied diet and my mind going at 90mph with having no :420:

in it but it just feels like a change i could make which would only be a positive

# ? Dec 13, 2020 20:37

WhatEvil: Jun 6, 2004; Can't get no luck.

happyhippy posted:

Can see a rise in vegetarians due to Brexit.
Or just meat not bought as often as could be more of a 'luxury' good as it used to be.

Lots of people in poverty are vegetarian by necessity due to cost already.

# ? Dec 13, 2020 20:43

kecske: Feb 28, 2011; it's round, like always

all schools in london borough of Greenwich shut, as apparently covid there is spreading 'exponentially' which is always a good word to see in contagious virus terms.

# ? Dec 13, 2020 20:53

Failed Imagineer: Sep 22, 2018

I may have mentioned before but last year my mate printed out books of 12 meat vouchers which you allow yourself to redeem over the year . It's a fun gameification which helps you value your consumption of meat and lead you down the flexi-vegi path without forcing you into a rigid dichotomy

# ? Dec 13, 2020 20:59

Lungboy: Aug 23, 2002; NEED SQUAT FORM HELP

goddamnedtwisto posted:

Yeah, the entire "logic" of hedge funds is they're supposed to assess risk and take up short positions* that minimise their exposure to that risk.

The relevant stat is whether hedge funds donating to Johnson hedged against no-deal harder than those who didn't. Even then if you're a vulture capitalist looking to make money from a *guaranteed* no-deal you don't use short positions because the potential gains are limited - you use long positions on industries/funds that you know are likely to show massive growth (bailiffs, privatised prisons, funeral homes).

(Very quick and only vaguely accurate primer - a short position is basically a bet that the price of something will go down. The traditional way of doing it - and still the way the pricing of it works - is that you "borrow" a stock from a holder for a small fee for a fixed amount of time.

Let's say you've heard that EvilCo are about to reveal that their big project to melt down old people to use as Bentley wax is a failure, as the old people are too undernourished to provide the rich shine that Bentleys deserve, and so their share price is about to drop. You find a pension fund or other large institution that tends to hold onto shares for the long run, and ask to borrow their 10,000 shares of EvilCo for a week for a small fee. You sell them at �100 each on Monday, on Friday the announcement comes out and the share price drops to �50. You buy up 10,000 shares at �50 each and give them back to the pension fund, keeping the �500,000 difference.

Obviously the profit you can make on this is limited by the fact that the lowest price a commodity can hit is zero* so your absolute maximum profit on this deal is a million quid. However if it turns out that the chairman of EvilCo goes to the same Mayfair sex dungeon as half the Cabinet, and so the Government gives them a massive contract to turn the leftover bones and offal into a nutritious stew to be sold at the G4S Orphanarium And Nonce Buffet at a 1000% markup and their price goes up, your losses are theoretically unlimited.

If you had inside information that Project Grannyshine was going to fail you'd instead buy up their less flashy competitor, Amalgamated Panda Juicers, whose share price would skyrocket when EvilCo went down, which reverses the risk/reward ratio.

Of course even this nonsense is far too logical for our financial markets so the actual transactions are now several dozen layers of abstraction deep but basically just boil down to making individual bets with other investors without ever getting the actual shares involved. Like everything in the City it starts with a relatively simple and benign (by Capital standards, obv) idea - in this case to minimise risk - and is instead turned into a get rich quick scheme so naked that Charles Ponzi would blush.

* Someone will chime in with the time that the price of crude oil went negative here, but that was a futures contract which is its own thing)

The other way to do it is via shorting multiplier funds, where for every x% the ftse 100 (other indices are available) drops by the fund goes up by 2x or whatever the multiplier is. Of course the opposite is also true, so you can quickly lose money if the pound tanking helps all the international countries that are on the FTSE and it climbs instead.

# ? Dec 13, 2020 21:11

Sad Panda: Sep 22, 2004; I'm a Sad Panda.

The lack of internet savvy from Team Corbyn is slightly shocking in not registering some obvious URLs. https://projectforpeaceandjustice.com/ set up as a troll website already.

# ? Dec 13, 2020 21:16

TACD: Oct 27, 2000

Yea the mixed branding is clumsy and weird, the Twitter account is Corbyn Project as well. Don�t lean into the cult of personality accusations 😕

# ? Dec 13, 2020 21:28

Bobby Deluxe: May 9, 2004

Failed Imagineer posted:

how have they not registered either projectforpeaceandjustice.co.uk or peaceandjusticeproject.co.uk ? poor

splitters!

# ? Dec 13, 2020 21:29

josh04: Oct 19, 2008; "THE FLASH IS THE REASON
TO RACE TO THE THEATRES"
_{This title contains sponsored content.}

Feels like it might have been a last-minute namechange.

# ? Dec 13, 2020 21:34

goddamnedtwisto: Dec 31, 2004; If you ask me about the mole people in the London Underground, I WILL be forced to kill you; Fun Shoe

Lungboy posted:

The other way to do it is via shorting multiplier funds, where for every x% the ftse 100 (other indices are available) drops by the fund goes up by 2x or whatever the multiplier is. Of course the opposite is also true, so you can quickly lose money if the pound tanking helps all the international countries that are on the FTSE and it climbs instead.

Yeah, these are the dozens of layers of abstraction I was talking about. It's definitely Cool and Good that the suicidal trading strategies that bought down Barings are now not only acceptable but actually sold as nice easy point-and-click indexes (see also VIX etc) and not a sign that a significant chunk of the world's wealth is in the hands of people who would be feeding tenners into a FOBT if they'd gone to a state school.

# ? Dec 13, 2020 21:37

a pipe smoking dog: Jan 25, 2010; "haha, dogs can't smoke!"

JollyBoyJohn posted:

i dunno, it just seems pretty hosed up that they push sheep into a chemical vat joker style at least from the videos i watched today. Don't get me wrong theres more i could bore you with, i feel like ive put on weight over lockdown for one, theres the whole brexit thing and the potential costs of food, maybe realising i don't have enough of a varied diet and my mind going at 90mph with having no in it but it just feels like a change i could make which would only be a positive

If you don't stick them in a chemical bath one in a while they can get overwhelmed with mites etc that damage the wool. It's not massively different from having to douse a kids head in pesticide to deal with head lice.

There have been issues with dodgy farmers draining three dips into streams and what have you, I think that's the bigger issue with it rather than an animal welfare issue.

# ? Dec 13, 2020 21:43

CGI Stardust: Nov 7, 2010; Brexit is but a door,
election time is but a window.

I'll be back

Sad Panda posted:

The lack of internet savvy from Team Corbyn is slightly shocking in not registering some obvious URLs. https://projectforpeaceandjustice.com/ set up as a troll website already.

starting off well, isn't it? when the website that has the name of your project has

quote:

Copyright � 2020 Project for peace and justice - All Rights Reserved.This Project does Not accept the WORKING DEFINITION OF ANTISEMITISM by the IHRA

at the bottom, and such gems as

quote:

Seeing a need for energetic, nonprofit work in this area, we formed our organization after some of us rightly got booted out of Labour! and the commute to Hamas HQ wasn't covered by expenses.

Food justice is an important part of community justice. We take donations form local businesses and use them to fight hunger. One of us has an allotment too .

hungry people being hilarious, i'm sure you'll all agree. there's a real air of nastiness around the whole thing.

# ? Dec 13, 2020 21:55

notaspy: Mar 22, 2009

goddamnedtwisto posted:

Yeah, these are the dozens of layers of abstraction I was talking about. It's definitely Cool and Good that the suicidal trading strategies that bought down Barings are now not only acceptable but actually sold as nice easy point-and-click indexes (see also VIX etc) and not a sign that a significant chunk of the world's wealth is in the hands of people who would be feeding tenners into a FOBT if they'd gone to a state school.

This reminds me of the most depressing things I ever saw.

I was working in Croydon and would head down to the lock spoons for beer and a burger for a fiver.

So there I am enjoying a pint of stella with a dry burger when I notice a guy at one of the fruit machines. I have no idea why I start paying attention to him but I was entranced as I watched him for 30 mins as he went from fruit machine to the cash machine on the other side of the room and back again. Over and over and over. It got to the point that I thought he might as well get a key to each machine and just transfer a wedge of cash from one to the other. It was heartbreaking as he didn't look like he was able to afford it. I think he might have won once but put that straight back into the machine.

In summary, gently caress those machines and those who make money from the misery they cause.

# ? Dec 13, 2020 21:56

Bobby Deluxe: May 9, 2004

Speaking of which, I wish Youtube would stop trying to sell me FIFA.

I'm saying this less for the benefit of the thread and more for google's algorithm when it pulls it from my keyboard history.

# ? Dec 13, 2020 22:06

Red Oktober: May 24, 2006; wiggly eyes!

Communist Thoughts posted:

I think that's naive. The ideal that parliament is about something other than corruption and patronage can't survive contact with parliament and I don't think he has any misgivings about that.

Most tories know that's the case but think its childish and dangerous to want to change things since the corruption has worked for a long time so far.

Imo What he wants to do is funnel money to his mates and have some sort of legacy. Probably as an amusing footnote of this wacky lad who was PM for a bit.

I think it's probably a bit too real for him but he's completely insulated from consequences and the absolute worst outcome for him will be a lot of hagriographies about how he tried his best and saved the country from Corbyn.

I get what you're saying, but I don't think it's that the corruption etc is unexpected (to him), but it's that he's been completely useless at everything else as well. This is the guy who wrote a biography of Churchill - I think he wants his legacy to be a great leader - not a guy who was a bit of joke and failed at pretty much everything.

# ? Dec 13, 2020 22:10

endlessmonotony: Nov 4, 2009; by Fritz the Horse

How's the thread on Canon color laser printers?

# ? Dec 13, 2020 22:14

Jaeluni Asjil: Apr 18, 2018; Sorry I thought you were a landlord when I gave you your old avatar!

goddamnedtwisto posted:

Yeah, the entire "logic" of hedge funds is they're supposed to assess risk and take up short positions* that minimise their exposure to that risk.

The relevant stat is whether hedge funds donating to Johnson hedged against no-deal harder than those who didn't. Even then if you're a vulture capitalist looking to make money from a *guaranteed* no-deal you don't use short positions because the potential gains are limited - you use long positions on industries/funds that you know are likely to show massive growth (bailiffs, privatised prisons, funeral homes).

(Very quick and only vaguely accurate primer - a short position is basically a bet that the price of something will go down. The traditional way of doing it - and still the way the pricing of it works - is that you "borrow" a stock from a holder for a small fee for a fixed amount of time.

Let's say you've heard that EvilCo are about to reveal that their big project to melt down old people to use as Bentley wax is a failure, as the old people are too undernourished to provide the rich shine that Bentleys deserve, and so their share price is about to drop. You find a pension fund or other large institution that tends to hold onto shares for the long run, and ask to borrow their 10,000 shares of EvilCo for a week for a small fee. You sell them at £100 each on Monday, on Friday the announcement comes out and the share price drops to £50. You buy up 10,000 shares at £50 each and give them back to the pension fund, keeping the £500,000 difference.

Obviously the profit you can make on this is limited by the fact that the lowest price a commodity can hit is zero* so your absolute maximum profit on this deal is a million quid. However if it turns out that the chairman of EvilCo goes to the same Mayfair sex dungeon as half the Cabinet, and so the Government gives them a massive contract to turn the leftover bones and offal into a nutritious stew to be sold at the G4S Orphanarium And Nonce Buffet at a 1000% markup and their price goes up, your losses are theoretically unlimited.

If you had inside information that Project Grannyshine was going to fail you'd instead buy up their less flashy competitor, Amalgamated Panda Juicers, whose share price would skyrocket when EvilCo went down, which reverses the risk/reward ratio.

Of course even this nonsense is far too logical for our financial markets so the actual transactions are now several dozen layers of abstraction deep but basically just boil down to making individual bets with other investors without ever getting the actual shares involved. Like everything in the City it starts with a relatively simple and benign (by Capital standards, obv) idea - in this case to minimise risk - and is instead turned into a get rich quick scheme so naked that Charles Ponzi would blush.

* Someone will chime in with the time that the price of crude oil went negative here, but that was a futures contract which is its own thing)

How do you know so much about everything?
Enjoyed this explanation of hedge funds

# ? Dec 13, 2020 22:17

Jose: Jul 24, 2007; Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer

yeah this won't be a disaster

https://twitter.com/EveningStandard/status/1338198021939601411?s=20

# ? Dec 13, 2020 22:23

Red Oktober: May 24, 2006; wiggly eyes!

Jose posted:

yeah this won't be a disaster

https://twitter.com/EveningStandard/status/1338198021939601411?s=20

Betteridge's law of newspapers comes in here.

I don't even know how you'd do it? By tube station? No-one gives a poo poo about boroughs outside of the roadmen, and it's not like they'll be especially bothered about restrictions. Plus Camden is a massive Z1-6 wedge all the way down.

edit: also it's a great way to ensure the spread, surely? If you're in a T3 area so everything is shut, you can just nip over to the nearest T2 and ~~go to a restaurant~~ spread COVID.

# ? Dec 13, 2020 22:30

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# ? May 23, 2024 12:47

kecske: Feb 28, 2011; it's round, like always

what happens when my home borough is tier 2 and my workplace in a different borough which I have to travel to because key worker is tier 3?

# ? Dec 13, 2020 22:34

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Debate & Discussion > UKMT December 2020 - Best viewed with Brexcape Navigator 4+

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