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Cooked Auto
Aug 4, 2007

Party hard, party hard, party hard, party hard, party hard, party party, party hard

So last time the party managed to find Captain Vilka and now they've spent a couple of hours in his company, alongside his Mandalorian friend Tomor, resting and recuperating. The ship they're currently on is the same one that belonged to some of their parents in their previous adventures, Tomor having found found in some depot years ago.
It still flies, somehow.

The party takes the previous reveals rather differently. Ross sets himself to treating to wounds while Tieron and Sirra go on a tour of the ship.
It's Kyrae who takes the revelations a bit heavy, finding herself coped up in what was her mother's quarters on the ship. In odd contrast her remote, a departing gift, is more lively. The small droid swooping through the ship as if examining it with a critical eye.

Tieron finds the room occupied by his mother empty and stripped bare of belongings. The armory is still stocked and houses a couple jury-rigged and hand-made guns.

Ross gets a message from Norrin, or at least the Rodian under his protection. Apparently he made it back to Ynedra palace. Even if its unknown if he did it by his own volition or not. The news not to the Trandoshans liking but at the moment there isn't much he can do about it.

Tomor announces his progress from the medbay where he had been resting to his own room with a string of insults and slurs in multiple languages.

Onboard the Ember posted:

Tieron Ravenlocke:"You should check the armory by the way Ky, I think mom left some stuff behind that might interest you."
Kyrae Sisk:"Oh yeah? Anything with a bit of firepower?"
Tomor screams back from his bunk.
Tomor:"Don't touch MY GUNS."
Kyrae Sisk:"Or not."
Vilka stifles a laugh.
Vilka:"It's like a religion to him or something. Either way, I see you've all rested up. Ready to go back to the palace ?"

After the party gets a chuckle out of Kyrae's embarrassment of Vilka changing into his new slave outfit right in front of them without shame they set off.
The trip back is eventful in its own right. But not in the way it transpired earlier. As they lead the "captive" cathar in a chain towards the palace people look at them with a mix of amusement or respect. There's plenty of catcalls and jeers, but they majority are thrown at the person they're leading in a chain.
They are greeted as heroes at the palace, a small honour guard assembled at the gates and takes them on a long circular route around the club and up to Ynedra's chambers.

The Pirate Queen's court is a flurry of activity. There's a live band playing and it's filled with representatives of various minor crews, banking clans and mercenary outfits. They see Yndera lounging in her throne alongside with most of her harem.

Captain Ynedra Kor posted:

Oh oh oh, the mighty Vilka brought to me on a silver platter. This is indeed a night to celebrate.

Making an entrance posted:

One of Ynedra's lieutenant; the same tall Cerean woman clad in a bladed bodysuit comes to take the chain off of Kyrae's hand, gently nudging Vilka toward the throne. Her overeager expression sours for a split second as the Cathar dodges the earth-shattering assclap she was about to deliver, climbing on top of the dais and plopping himself down directly on Ynedra's lap, knocking aside a duo of lithe twileks. Despite the affront Ynedra takes the gesture with amusement, extending a hand to pet the man's head as he plays the part it seems she had expected him to play.

Yndera informs them that their ship only needs a couple of more days of work to be finished. She also has another job for them, this time involving payment. But that can wait for now as they're invited to enjoy the hospitality of the Black Maw cartel and the generosity of Archon Mgalek'golo.
They all agree.

Things are a bit of a blur after that point and it's only Tieron who faintly realizes that two whole whole days has passed when he wakes up in a room he doesn't remember being in before and being surrounded by people he doesn't recognize.
The others wake up in very similar states. Sirra wakes up in the main room with a brutal headache, but also dressed in a new golden belt and several dozen of armbands and necklaces. How the Nautolan got all of these she has no idea. Ross wakes up in the company of Norrin, having helped the Zeltron to treat his injuries and deal with the poison in his system. Kyrae is the last one to wake up, the Sith finding herself surrounded by people she does recognize. Namely Ynedra and her harem, including Vilka.

Ross tries to convince Norrin to leave the Captain, but is gently turned down by the Zeltron.

Norrin's bedroom posted:

Norrin gives the Trandoshan a surprised look, waving to the large array of databanks, consoles and servers in his room.
Norrin:"You're sweet Ross but ... I can't. The Black Maw is my family, I've known them my whole life ... Sure the work we do isn't always fun, shooting and stabbing but ... I'm not a person Ross. Out there I don't exist, i was born a slave. This is the best I can ever have and I'm fine with it."

It's a very bleary eyed party that manages to reassembles themselves in one of the palace's many rooms. A lot of awkward glances are thrown around, alongside comments befitting teenagers who just had the time of their life.

The next job Ynedra wants them to do is to poach a Gladiator from the Scything Eye clan's arena on the station, Krexus the Undefeated. In light of the Black Maw's recent accomplishments they're going to hold a massive tournament with Krexus being the main attraction. Even boasting that 101 Gladiators will die during the tournament.
Ynedra wants to steal Krexus from the Clan so she can spite their leader, and she also feels like she owes him her freedom for letting her win back when she fought in the arena herself.
They also tasked with finding information on just how the clan manages to bring in extremely exotic creatures to fight in the arena as well.
For doing this they'll get 50 000 credits, with an opportunity for more if they bring back more information.

Realizing that they have plenty of time to spare before they need to get to work they head back to check on their ship.
They find it looking almost as good as new, engines fully replaced and there's even a new turret on it.
Even if a closer inspection finds that a lot of the work done is more superficial than a complete rebuild. A lot of the components relatively untouched. The biggest change is to the engine where they had been replaced with something belonging to a much larger transport, done in true pirate fashion. Tieron realises that pushing the engines to the max would either rip them off the ship, or simply tear the ship apart.

It's about now they realize they haven't actually named their ship. In its new reparied state calling it the Rustbucket doesn't cut it anymore.
In the end they all settle on calling it Starfire.

With their belongings, and first half of their payout, stashed onboard the ship they go to work trying to figure out how to rescue Krexus from the arena and find out pertinent information about their supply lines.
In their subsequent investigations they manage to find out that the Scything Eye has set up a series of hidden beacons to be able to transport cargo unnoticed from the Black Maw and others.
They also find out that most of the protection is handled by small flying drones and that there's a service elevator that leads right down into the animal pens. Finally they're able to score the codes for three key cards that will let them move around the arena unhindered.

With that information in hand they hash out a plan where Ross poses as a Slave trader trying selling off Tieron and Kyrae to fight in the ring, and Sirra posing as his pilot.
They stock up on some extra weapons using their newly acquired money and suitable outfits for everyone to play their part. With that they're ready to put their plan into action.

Next time: Are you not entertained?!

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Doc Hawkins
Jun 15, 2010

Dashing? But I'm not even moving!


Firstborn posted:

Feel free to erode your DM's game and destroy the tone for your stupid memes whenever it strikes you!

my erosion!!

Firstborn
Oct 14, 2012

i'm the heckin best
yeah
yeah
yeah
frig all the rest
Yeah sorry, I've had games ruined by overly drunk or overly "funny" players. Even if the DM smiles when you make a really rad Michael Jackson joke, if your DM isn't poo poo he probably devoted more than a little time to making a compelling game for you to play.

If your DM is poo poo or your players just stuff doritos into their mouths and do Jim Carrey impressions, then by all means, make your zombies do a cool 80s dance and god speed

senrath
Nov 4, 2009

Look Professor, a destruct switch!


Or you can realize that not every group has the same dynamic and that it's entirely possible to have both a compelling game and really stupid references.

Robindaybird
Aug 21, 2007

Neat. Sweet. Petite.

Yeah, you kind of sound like a No Fun Allowed type of guy, Firstborn.

Railing Kill
Nov 14, 2008

You are the first crack in the sheer face of god. From you it will spread.

Firstborn posted:

Yeah sorry, I've had games ruined by overly drunk or overly "funny" players. Even if the DM smiles when you make a really rad Michael Jackson joke, if your DM isn't poo poo he probably devoted more than a little time to making a compelling game for you to play.

If your DM is poo poo or your players just stuff doritos into their mouths and do Jim Carrey impressions, then by all means, make your zombies do a cool 80s dance and god speed

Ok, real talk. I'm not trying to be snarky or dismissive here.

Serious tones and comedy aren't mutually exclusive. It doesn't even need to be like a Coen Brothers type dark humor either. There's no amount of serious tone that is immune to comedic beats, especially in a hobby that is a game above all else. But even outside of games, dramatic storytelling has all sorts of examples. Here's a good one: King Lear. Fucken thing is as grim as they come, and I love it, but it also has some hilarious beats. There's a scene when Gloucester, having been ruined and betrayed and struck blind, is attempting to kill himself by throwing himself off a cliff. An aide (his son, who can't reveal himself to him because of complicated reasons irrelevant to this) leads him to the top of a large rock. Gloucester is told he is at the precipice of a cliff, so he delivers a beautiful, heartbreaking monologue after which he merely faceplants off the top of the rock as his suicide attempt. It is utterly hilarious, and happens at arguably the grimmest moment in Shakespeare's bleakest tragedy.

And don't even get me started about Kafka. I wrote a dissertation about him.

This is to say nothing about the fact that tabletop games aren't literature; they are games and by definition meant to be enjoyable on a more immediate level than literature. Some people, myself included, love a good, dramatic, tryhard story. But if a DM's tryhard story can't survive players being goofy from time to time, then the DM needs to take a long, hard look at tone vis a vis the game itself, and see if they might be better served writing a dramatic novel or something.

rndmnmbr
Jul 3, 2012

Besides, it's CobiWann and his DM. You have read his previous Tanicus tales, right? I have a feeling his DM knows exactly how to tell a serious tale with room enough for the occasional stupid pop culture joke.

Firstborn
Oct 14, 2012

i'm the heckin best
yeah
yeah
yeah
frig all the rest

Robindaybird posted:

Yeah, you kind of sound like a No Fun Allowed type of guy, Firstborn.

I guess that depends on your type of fun. Your game isn't wrong, but I wouldn't want to play in it. Everything is wrapped in a thousand layers of irony here, increasingly recently, so a counter to "I like serious games" is "you are no fun" in the same way "I like fart joke games" to be "you are an insipid child who is wasting everyone's time". Idk if this is the thread for this, and I have no boring campaign diary to share so I'll just see myself out!
e: My group can only meet every other week / every 3 weeks and pour a lot of heart into the characters (and still laugh), but a thriller dance or whatever makes me cringe. Sorry for the hot take, I don't want to be combative, sorry for being a dick

:tipshat:

Firstborn fucked around with this message at 02:51 on Dec 19, 2020

BabyFur Denny
Mar 18, 2003

Railing Kill posted:

Ok, real talk. I'm not trying to be snarky or dismissive here.

Serious tones and comedy aren't mutually exclusive. It doesn't even need to be like a Coen Brothers type dark humor either. There's no amount of serious tone that is immune to comedic beats, especially in a hobby that is a game above all else. But even outside of games, dramatic storytelling has all sorts of examples. Here's a good one: King Lear. Fucken thing is as grim as they come, and I love it, but it also has some hilarious beats. There's a scene when Gloucester, having been ruined and betrayed and struck blind, is attempting to kill himself by throwing himself off a cliff. An aide (his son, who can't reveal himself to him because of complicated reasons irrelevant to this) leads him to the top of a large rock. Gloucester is told he is at the precipice of a cliff, so he delivers a beautiful, heartbreaking monologue after which he merely faceplants off the top of the rock as his suicide attempt. It is utterly hilarious, and happens at arguably the grimmest moment in Shakespeare's bleakest tragedy.

And don't even get me started about Kafka. I wrote a dissertation about him.

This is to say nothing about the fact that tabletop games aren't literature; they are games and by definition meant to be enjoyable on a more immediate level than literature. Some people, myself included, love a good, dramatic, tryhard story. But if a DM's tryhard story can't survive players being goofy from time to time, then the DM needs to take a long, hard look at tone vis a vis the game itself, and see if they might be better served writing a dramatic novel or something.

I wouldn't mind some Shakespearean or Kafkaesque elements in my RPGs but I hope you are not arguing that a Thriller reenactment is on the same level as that.

Cartoon
Jun 20, 2008

poop
I think you'll find that both Shakespeare and Kafka can thrill you more than any ghoul could ever dare try.

Agrikk
Oct 17, 2003

Take care with that! We have not fully ascertained its function, and the ticking is accelerating.

Firstborn posted:

I guess that depends on your type of fun. Your game isn't wrong, but I wouldn't want to play in it. Everything is wrapped in a thousand layers of irony here, increasingly recently, so a counter to "I like serious games" is "you are no fun" in the same way "I like fart joke games" to be "you are an insipid child who is wasting everyone's time". Idk if this is the thread for this, and I have no boring campaign diary to share so I'll just see myself out!
e: My group can only meet every other week / every 3 weeks and pour a lot of heart into the characters (and still laugh), but a thriller dance or whatever makes me cringe. Sorry for the hot take, I don't want to be combative, sorry for being a dick

:tipshat:

What's wrong with you? This is a nice little thread for a group of us that enjoy RPG games of all sorts, delivered in all sorts of styles and you come kramering into the thread to poo poo on CobiWann's DM-thing he's got going on and insult the rest of us adding content to a sleepy gaming thread.

Three weeks ago you got all in a similar huff and yet you are still here.

Agrikk fucked around with this message at 09:05 on Dec 19, 2020

Railing Kill
Nov 14, 2008

You are the first crack in the sheer face of god. From you it will spread.

BabyFur Denny posted:

I wouldn't mind some Shakespearean or Kafkaesque elements in my RPGs but I hope you are not arguing that a Thriller reenactment is on the same level as that.

I wasn't. I was reaching for an example on an extreme end to prove my point. But the same idea applies to comic moments that are less funny, or situations which have less gravity.

Agrikk posted:

What's wrong with you? This is a nice little thread for a group of us that enjoy RPG games of all sorts, delivered in all sorts of styles and you come kramering into the thread to poo poo on CobiWann's DM-thing he's got going on and insult the rest of us adding content to a sleepy gaming thread.

Three weeks ago you got all in a similar huff and yet you are still here.

I've always read CobiWann's "My DM says..." routine as something like Skippy's List: these things may or may not have actually happened, but the point is in the telling, not the doing. (Which makes threadshitting about it even more of a waste of time.) Not to mention they're like one-line posts. How hard is it for joyless goobers to just scroll past stuff like that? Yeesh.

HiHo ChiRho
Oct 23, 2010

The catpiss is calling from inside the thread!!!

Agrikk
Oct 17, 2003

Take care with that! We have not fully ascertained its function, and the ticking is accelerating.

Railing Kill posted:

I've always read CobiWann's "My DM says..." routine as something like Skippy's List: these things may or may not have actually happened, but the point is in the telling, not the doing. (Which makes threadshitting about it even more of a waste of time.)

This. It’s like the endless discussions in the r/relationships thread: who gives a whit if it happened or not. Am I entertained? Yes? Then it’s a good post. Am I not entertained? I’ll just scroll by while thinking “maybe next time”.

Yawgmoth
Sep 10, 2003

This post is cursed!

Firstborn posted:

I guess that depends on your type of fun. Your game isn't wrong, but I wouldn't want to play in it. Everything is wrapped in a thousand layers of irony here, increasingly recently, so a counter to "I like serious games" is "you are no fun" in the same way "I like fart joke games" to be "you are an insipid child who is wasting everyone's time". Idk if this is the thread for this, and I have no boring campaign diary to share so I'll just see myself out!
e: My group can only meet every other week / every 3 weeks and pour a lot of heart into the characters (and still laugh), but a thriller dance or whatever makes me cringe. Sorry for the hot take, I don't want to be combative, sorry for being a dick

:tipshat:
I feel like you're missing everyone's point, which is that serious games can have moments of levity and still be serious, to say nothing of the necessity of comedy to contrast and punctuate the tragedy. I'm really curious now: do your games never have silly moments? Is your group always 100% in-character serious drama? Because I legitimately cannot wrap my head around the idea of a group of friends who do not ever make a joke, and I similarly cannot imagine a group of people who do not reference some piece of outside media at some point.


To bring some actual content back in the thread and underscore the point: my last session was pretty entertaining. The PCs had just killed the four horsemen ascended council of Aerenal and set up a huge negative energy ritual inside their sanctum, where an incredibly powerful manifest zone to the plane of eternal daylight is situated. They had come here following a rumor that Erandis d'Vol had gained control of the ascended council through the use of some powerful enchantment and figured she had the last of a set of artifact-level scrolls (one for each school of magic) that they have been tracking down all campaign; so naturally they invaded the council through a secret backdoor without asking any questions of anyone in the City of the Dead, where they conduct their business. And being uninvited intruders with a reputation of working with Karrnath and causing widespread chaos and destruction, there isn't much discussion to be had with the council itself. Their plan is to use these scrolls to supercharge this ritual into tearing a gateway through the known planes and go beyond, to whatever awaits them there. They have an idea, a postulation that it could lead to the source of all souls and/or divine power, but it's all just conjecture from a guy they don't really trust so much as accept because his advice/instructions have led them to places of power before and only caused slight devastation. They only have 7 out of 8 scrolls, but as their cohort is setting up the scrolls for the ritual, the 8th one mysteriously shows up. They learn the power it grants and finish setting up their ritual-nuke, their cohort does the incantation, and...

...the surge of energy is enormous, doing irreparable damage to the strength of the manifest zone and it is only through their assorted defensive magics that they are only left stunned instead of vaporized. The same cannot be said of their associate. Unfortunately, d'Vol was hiding out under multiple layers of obfuscation and waiting for them to do what she had been goading them to do through her rumor mill. After a bit of typical villain gloating, she walks through the rift and it begins to seal itself. The group follows through as soon as they can will their bodies to move, and find themselves in a very strange place and being attacked by some very strange creatures. After dealing with an incredibly unpredictable battle (as you might expect from fighting wild glitches in reality's code), they click on Help by stepping on it and try to figure out what exactly the gently caress is going on. Keryth pulls out her magic fountain pen and turns a patch of grass into talking grass, and after a bit of entirely overexcited chatter (it's never been able to talk before!), she writes "helpful talking grass" and gets much more useful information: namely that Vol had passed through here and clawed "exit" into the tree. She writes "exit door" (and then "doorknob" on it), thanks the grass, and gives it the ability to walk around as thanks.

They exit from the land of pure code and into a large hallway. It's carpeted with industrial-grade carpet that feels slightly moist and smells faintly of mildew. The walls are a dismal shade of off-beige, and the ceiling has buzzing lights that are spaced just a little too far apart to provide uniform light and flicker intermittently. As they walk, each of them almost-sees something moving around them, and almost-hears something else; children playing, faint music, etc. It puts them on edge, but fortunately no one loses their composure enough to do something they regret. Eventually they come to a door in this endless maze of corridors, and are greeted with a populated break room. They decline the offer of coffee & smokes, and are told that they saw Vol passing by the other door. She was "probably headed to the big creepy door with the horns", according to them. They exit, and find that the hallway splits off in a Y junction: one ending in a set of double doors with enormous horns as a frame, bound in iron bands and golden antlers; the other is an aggressively bland light grey door with dark grey frame and a white tile hallway. They open the bland door first, and find supplies. Not needing any post-its or binders, they go to the other door and into a horrible place full of massive organs, a veritable lake of blood with stone faces floating in it, and some hideous monsters that are very hungry.

They (barely) win the fight, heal up, and make their way through a newly-opened passage through a tunnel of fading light. Just as the light of the corridor nearly goes out, there's a flash of blinding light and they find themselves at the top of a staircase of ice and stone; the ghost of their companion trying desperately to prevent Vol, who is now fully a dragon of immense proportions, from stealing all of the divine power in the well of souls. He disperses into the well, and the group feels a surge of incredible power* as they prepare to fight their nemesis one last time.

*I gave everyone one Salient Divine Ability of their choice for the Final Boss Fight™ of the game. I am very excited to see how it goes.

Leperflesh
May 17, 2007

Hi, hello folks. I don't feel anyone has transgressed to the point of a probe but I wanted to step in anyway and help resolve whatever unhappiness is happening here.

Firstborn posted:

I guess that depends on your type of fun. Your game isn't wrong, but I wouldn't want to play in it. Everything is wrapped in a thousand layers of irony here, increasingly recently, so a counter to "I like serious games" is "you are no fun" in the same way "I like fart joke games" to be "you are an insipid child who is wasting everyone's time". Idk if this is the thread for this, and I have no boring campaign diary to share so I'll just see myself out!
e: My group can only meet every other week / every 3 weeks and pour a lot of heart into the characters (and still laugh), but a thriller dance or whatever makes me cringe. Sorry for the hot take, I don't want to be combative, sorry for being a dick

:tipshat:

I think what is going on here is, there's a lot of reading between the lines happening. When CobiWann says something like this:

CobiWann posted:

According to my DM, I am not allowed to use Animate Dead to make it easier to get a dead party member to the temple to be raised.

According to my DM, I am specifically not allowed to use Animate Dead and Danse Macarbe to recreate the Thriller dance after a near TPK.

You are seeing it as a serious DM running a seriously-toned game being actually mad at CobiWann for joking around. Whereas, possibly, CobiWann is retelling a case where a goofy funhaving game with a fun DM chuckled at his jokes but then nicely said Nah.

Or, another possibility, would be if CobiWann was in a really terrible game, with an overly nonfunhaving DM, and making these sorts of suggestions are CobiWann's way of deflating the tension.

Or, I don't know, maybe some other way. What I would suggest, Firstborn, is that this is maybe a reflection of some bad experiences you've had gaming, coloring your interpretation. Which is Understandable, given for example the bad experiences you've related in the last dozen or so of your posts (I took a look back to the 2018 ones). There are tables where people joke around and it's fine, and tables where one person keeps doing cringy, tired memes while everyone else is trying to engage with the dramatic tension in a satisfying and immersive way, and that can really suck a lot.

But that's not necessarily what's being presented here, and it'd be good to assume a little less. Also saying "I'm sorry" is good but the hat tip at the end reads as sarcastic and basically erases the "sorry for being a dick" part.

Agrikk posted:

Three weeks ago you got all in a similar huff and yet you are still here.

This is gatekeeping, please don't. Firstborn has been in this thread before, and contributed, and even if he was brand new: we want brand new people to come into threads. The issue here is not kramering, its miscommunication probably, or misunderstanding, etc. you're allowed to disagree and argue with the points, but I'd like folks to not say "hey new guy, get out."

I do think it's worth clarifying to Firstborn that as referenced in the title, the reputation of this thread as "the cat-piss thread" e.g. for relating terrible gaming experiences is skewed: actually, the emphasis is on "notable gaming experiences" part, and the Good word at the beginning along side the word "Bad". This thread is for relating notable gaming experiences, positive or negative, and commenting on them.

Firstborn
Oct 14, 2012

i'm the heckin best
yeah
yeah
yeah
frig all the rest
Wasn't gonna post anything else, but thanks for the reasonable response. I can also see how the tipshat was passive aggressive. It was meant more as like Grandpa Simpson like "okay im out sorry for being lovely"

Firstborn fucked around with this message at 15:28 on Dec 20, 2020

Agrikk
Oct 17, 2003

Take care with that! We have not fully ascertained its function, and the ticking is accelerating.

Leperflesh posted:

This is gatekeeping, please don't. Firstborn has been in this thread before, and contributed, and even if he was brand new: we want brand new people to come into threads. The issue here is not kramering, its miscommunication probably, or misunderstanding, etc. you're allowed to disagree and argue with the points, but I'd like folks to not say "hey new guy, get out."

This is a good point and my apologies to you Firstborn for dumping on you.

Leperflesh- this was a good post and you are a good mod if all of your efforts are like this one. Cheers!

raminasi
Jan 25, 2005

a last drink with no ice
I know that when I read the discussion, I could imagine "using Danse Macabre to replicate Thriller" to describe both "the party spends a bunch of time goofing around without moving in any particular story direction or interacting with the world's setting at all" and "a particular goofy flavor for a moment of relief that would have happened regardless because of the story pacing," and one of those games I definitely wouldn't want to play in, but I'd have no problem with the other.

Admiralty Flag
Jun 7, 2007

to ride eternal, shiny and chrome

THUNDERDOME LOSER 2022

It's not fully cat-piss worthy, but while goofiness can occasionally be part of any game, there are always those players who seem compelled to crack wise just because they can. They can be valuable members of the group and contribute in other ways, but I find it frustrating when they have to just blurt out a half warmed over joke or pun, even -- or especially -- at a critical or dramatic moment.

Not trying to say the recreation of Thriller was this sort of thing. There's one guy in my group who's especially bad at this and it's annoying, but just this side of disruptive to avoid having a sit down to discuss.

Railing Kill
Nov 14, 2008

You are the first crack in the sheer face of god. From you it will spread.
I've played in some bona fide cat piss games (see my post history), and I can imagine a table where a throwaway joke gets carried away and goes on for ten minutes. I've played in games where the whole thing is hijacked by one tone-deaf player with a bad sense of humor. I can imagine a goateed, evil, mirror universe version of every single one of CobiWann's jokes existing. But there is nothing in his posts that indicates that is the case. I take the brevity of his posts as consistent with the jokes themselves. I assume they're over not much longer than it takes to describe them.

For content: my daughter and I finally got around to another session of D&D.

My six-year-old recently asked to try D&D. I helped her make a Chaotic Good Tiefling Druid. The druid's name is Rockstar Kitty. These are her stories. :doink:

Chapter 1: How to Make (Animal) Friends and Defenestrate People
Chapter 2: Highway Robbery
Chapter 3: The Munificent Seven

Chapter 4: "I Steal the Dead Goblin Meat from the Monster Cat"
Chapter 5: Prisoner's Dilemma

Chapter 5: Prisoner's Dilemma

I decide to try out the tried-and-true prison break scenario. I'm running mostly off the cuff with these sessions, as they usually come up whenever the urge strikes her to play D&D and I have time to do so. The Seven Samurai thing is another tried-and-true scenario that makes for a good session, and prison breaks are similarly fun and straightforward.

Rockstar Kitty leaves the town she has been defending from raiders and goblins to accolades. The people of this small town suggest that she go to the faraway city that is the seat of the local dukedom. "Go to Duke Cornwallis and tell him who you are, and how you've helped us," the townsfolk say.

So she does. Rockstar turns into a hawk ("a big bird") eagle ("no, something more cool") chickadee ("no, I like Chickadees because they're so cute") to travel to the city. Flying animals are technically outside of her abilities as a low-level druid. It has no bearing on anything and is basically a freebee. Sue me. :colbert:

She arrives at the city and I take the time to describe the place and impress upon the character that she is a hermit who has always lived alone in the woods, so the little town she came from was big to her, let alone this. She takes in the alien-ness of the city and acts accordingly. "I don't want to talk to anyone because I'm probably scared of all these people," she says.

Yeah, you and me both, kid. *~social anxiety~*

Anyway, Rockstar goes straight to the castle gate. She introduces herself to the guards stationed there. She also fails a perception check to recognize a familiar crest stamped onto the top of the gate, and onto the guards' tabards. At hearing her name, the guards look at each other, nod, and noticeably stiffen their stances. One of them tightens the grip on his poleaxe. Rockstar passes an Insight check here, but I'm not a big fan of spoon-feeding players information like "the guards are hostile," even with a six-year-old. If the check passes, they get plenty of narrative detail to make their own decision. My daughter squints at me suspiciously and I assume that she understands that they are hostile now.

"Come with us," one of them says, and Rockstar complies. They lead her through the gate, and off to a side of the castle, well away from the main entrance. They lead her into a side entrance, which reveals a dank downward staircase. Here is where I expect her to spring into action, or at least resist in some way. It's weird to see my daughter just plainly go along with the established order in the city, even when they were in the middle of arresting her unjustly. I have a whole encounter planned with those guards and have two versions of the adventure in mind: one if she fights back and never gets thrown into prison, and one where she ends up in jail. But there was no resistance whatsoever. Even walking down to a dungeon level, she complied in her own imprisonment. I guess she trusts the authorities to see things the right way, eventually. It's just oddly Lawful Good behavior for a girl who will get into an argument with the established authority (i.e. me or her mom) about absolutely anything. She argued with me about the right way to play with toy cars just this morning. The guards just lead her down to jail, take her poo poo, and push her into a cell.

She looks around to see that the door is just bars from floor to ceiling, so she could, in theory, shapeshift into a small animal and walk out. But there are other details. There's a guard at the end of the hall who is sitting on a stool at the foot of a rack of keys, daydreaming. There are three other prisoners across the hall in separate cells: a peasant woman, a shifty looking man, and an old man clad in rags who appears to be asleep. Most importantly: :siren: all of Rockstar's Pokemon animal friends were taken along with her belongings! :siren:

This makes my daughter very upset. She moves to immediately shapeshift into a mouse to get through the bars... but nothing happens. She tries again, and still nothing. At this, the rogue across the hall says, "There's an anti-magic field down here. They have to arrest wizards sometimes. Gotta have their countermeasures." He spits at the ground.

This makes her even more upset. She's not being bratty, just offering a genuine reaction to her buyer's remorse for her own plan collapsing. I realize she got it in the first place that the guards were arresting her, but played dumb and planned to walk right out. My kid's no LG bootlicker. :smug:

So she strikes up a conversation with the other inmates. The peasant woman claims to be unjustly imprisoned for speaking out against Duke Cornwallis. The rogue also claims to be unjustly imprisoned, but an insight check reveals him to be full of poo poo. The old man continues sleeping.

Suddenly, Squeaks appears! Rockstar's newest animal friend apparently went unnoticed in her backpack wherever the guards put that, and crept down to find her. But magic doesn't work in the dungeon, so she can't cast Speak with Animals. They rely on some goofy pantomime to formulate a plan for the rat to get the keys from the hooks at the end of the hall. They need to move the guard first, though, so the peasant woman taunts him into coming over to her cell. She's feisty, and he's dumb, so it works like a charm. Meanwhile, Rockstar sends Squeaks to get the keys. Squeaks isn't supernaturally intelligent, isn't actually trained, and isn't being being communicated with by magic at the moment, so he just gets one set of keys before the guard goes back to sit down. (In a grittier game, this would not work. This was a stretch, at best, but it's playing D&D with a 6-year-old so whatever.)

It ends up being the keys to the rogue's cell. Rockstar has them, and can either keep them and hope they can pull off the same trick again without the guard flipping out, or she can throw the rogue the keys to his cell and hope he sets everyone else free. I explain the dilemma to make sure that she underst--

She throws the keys to the rogue while I am in mid-sentence. He gets the jump on the sleepy guard and easily knocks him out. Of course, he immediately moves to leave.

This pisses off my daughter a whole bunch.

"You can't do that! We let you out! You should let us out," she yells.

"Too bad, sister. Better luck next time. At least you have that rat you can eat eventually," he says cruelly.

Then, fulfilling the destiny of any little kid, my daughter wigs the gently caress out in-character. "If you don't come let out me and that lady and... the old guy I guess, I am going to scream," she shouts.

The peasant woman, clearly a sharp customer herself, keys into this. She laughs and says, "you better do what she says. She's already getting loud enough to alert the guards," she says with a glare at the rogue.

Rockstar crushes a persuasion check against the rogue, and he reluctantly frees the other three. The peasant woman says they're probably better off in their escape attempt with four people anyway. Unfortunately, the door from which they came is barred from the other side, so they must go up the stairs where the guard was sitting, leading them further into the castle before they escape. But to make that happen they have a druid, a rogue, a secret fighter (I decided this halfway through the scene as I started to like the peasant woman's character), and... an old man.

Before the party sets out to escape, though, the peasant woman asks the old man who he is. The old man blinks sleep out of his eyes and looks at them. He frowns, and then takes a signet ring out of his mouth, where it had apparently been hidden from the guards. He puts it on a knobby finger. It bears a crest similar to the one at the gate, and which Rockstar has seen before... but it isn't quite the same. Rockstar finally remembers the "bad" crest, the one that's on the gate. She saw it before with that evil wizard from the first game, the one that she threw out a goddamn window. While this might begin to explain her imprisonment, it still doesn't tell us who the old man is. So Rockstar asks again: "Who are you, old man?"

The old man strokes the signet ring absentmindedly and says, "I.. don't remember."

We left off there and we'll wrap up this adventure next time we play, probably next weekend. :black101:

Podima
Nov 4, 2009

by Fluffdaddy
God I love your stories so much, it's great to see your daughter navigating these situations. Please keep them coming!

Agrikk
Oct 17, 2003

Take care with that! We have not fully ascertained its function, and the ticking is accelerating.

Railing Kill posted:


(I decided this halfway through the scene as I started to like the peasant woman's character)


This is on of my favorite things as a GM: when a throwaway NPC suddenly comes to life as you narrate events and now this person gets more than a name from the bottom of your list of nifty names.

Fumbles
Mar 22, 2013

Can I get a reroll?

It reminds me of a character who I made as a bit of a no-consequences morality test to see if my players were treating my characters as characters or just plot-macguffins, who has evolved into holding a special place in my heart and being one of my most fun characters to play.

Professor Francine Pendergast. Self-proclaimed "Triple Doctor" with doctorates from the local scholar's city in Monster Psychology, Monster Biology, and Monster Sociology. Her ultimate lifes goal is to envision a world where, in a setting where "Monsters" are magically-spawned creatures from a Final Fantasy 9-style worldwide Mist and at eternal war with Men/Elves/Dwarves/etc, peaceful cohabitation can be achieved between two populaces who on first brush cannot seem to co-exist. She's a fiercely intelligent woman with a masterful understanding of numerous languages and has successfully authored multiple books worth of lore, academia, theory, and scientific discovery. Even if her end-goal may prove ultimately futile, she has a deep need to see it through in the hopes of creating a better world for human AND monster alike.

She also has an incredibly severe speech impediment, constantly fighting through a stutter and the inability to separate certain consonants from each other.

This isn't played as a joke, or just a cute character quirk, or just a funny character voice to Sam Smorkle it up. So far all of my players have impressed me by treating this esteemed professor like a real person and not bringing up her speech impediment. Not a single one of them made any jokes at her expense or treated her as suddenly less intelligent than the master of grammar and diction they'd been experiencing through her various books and published papers. Even when she gets self-conscious and asks the party if they'd prefer if she write certain information down for them so they can understand it better, they happily and respectfully say they can understand her just fine.

Agrikk
Oct 17, 2003

Take care with that! We have not fully ascertained its function, and the ticking is accelerating.
A Detour and a Parting

Jaw smarting, and with Dragotha’s phylactery safely hidden in my portable hole, we turn our backs on Rift Canyon. As darkness descends, Laenaya rejoins us and without any real intent we find ourselves walking back up the path to the passage through the Barrier Peaks when Verrothrok stops us.

The massive blue dragon rumbles, “Before I take my leave of you I will give you a gift for the deaths of Brazzemal, Necrozyte, and Vermirox. If you follow me on a few hours’ walk, there is an earthnode near here that we will take.” Without saying any more despite our questions, Verrothrok cuts cross country and we follow in path of foliage crushed flat by his mighty tail.

Whether it be to the abandoned nature of the badlands or to the fact that our travelling companion is an ancient blue dragon, we are unmolested in our travel to the earthnode. We approach and my senses tingle and I feel a jolt of energy like I’ve just inhaled White Smoke.

Verrothrok turns back to us, scaled tail whipping through the underbrush. “This is a small node, called Dusthaven. Only a dozen yards across or so. It is too small to have attracted any kind of guardian, but it suits us. Gather round and touch hands.”

Verrothrok concentrates for a second and with a flash of disorientation we are somewhere else, with dusty scrub brush winking out of existence and we are standing in a sunny evergreen forest.

“This is Greenroot. It isn’t particularly special, but it happens to be the closest point to those foothills.” He nods his head to the north. “About a day’s walk in that direction you will see a mountain whose peak looks to have been sheared cleanly off. In the rubble at the base of the cliff you will find a cave entrance to Brazzemal’s lair. His hoard could be yours if you want it.”

Ospar stirs with eyes gleaming. Street rat instincts don’t die easily. “His hoard?”

“His hoard. Thÿs, you can use Greenroot to travel to Rocktable, an earthnode in the Cairn Hills. From there it is only several day’s walk back to Thalos.”

“You are leaving us?” I ask.

“I travel to some others of my kind. I will see about rousing them. But before I depart fetch me the phylactery and stand back.”

I levitate it out of my portable hole and we all make room. The phylactery sits radiating evil in the middle of the clearing as Verrothrok inhales, filling gigantic lungs with mountain air. He exhales a cloud of lightning at the phylactery and it disappears in a cloud of arcing lightning. Before the electricity dissipates, he steps forward and stomps on the carved sphere, putting his whole weight into it and crushes the orb flat with a burst of sickly green light.

“There. Dragotha will probably be weakened for a while from the destruction of his phylactery. When he regains his strength his first order of business will be to create and hide a new phylactery, so you have a window in which to act. You have time, but do not tarry overlong!”

He spreads his wings and takes off in a hurricane of wind and swirling dirt. “Good bye for now, Saruvic. May you fare well until we meet again.”

And he is away.

Snakeeyes and Ospar turn and start walking north under the dark sky. The rest of us follow.

--\--

Brazzemal’s cave was not difficult to find, as the Red had incinerated all living things for several hundred yards in all directions around his cave, and with an overabundance of caution we enter his lair. As Verrothrok predicted, his hoard was unattended.

A pile of coins of many precious metals was spread across the floor of the cave, in some places several inches thick and with unabashed glee we begin to shovel double handfuls into my portable hole, coins ringing and clattering as they strike the bottom. We shovel coins. We recover jewelry and objects d’art. We save gems and old tomes and scrolls. Then we depart with all haste back to Greenroot before someone or something decides to emulate us.

I find the clearing and sense the power hidden within Greenroot. I tap into that power to fuel my spell and focus on the Cairn Hills and we a swirling moment of disorientation we are hundreds of miles away on the western side of the Barrier Peaks in the cairn hills, several days east of Thalos.

the_steve
Nov 9, 2005

We're always hiring!

Aw yeah, nothing like piles and piles of well earned loot.

Cooked Auto
Aug 4, 2007

Let's get ready to ruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuumble!

Armed with a plan of what to do the crew gets to work. After some shopping they've acquired appropriate attires, very skimpy for Kyrea and Tieron posing as slaves whilst Ross and Sirra has simply added to theirs to make them look more like slave traders.

The arena district of the Ring is now positively packed with people. Countless of pirate gangs, smuggler crews and raiders crowd the entrances, all wanting to see what has been proclaimed as the Night of a Hundred Deaths. Banners of the Scything Eye and the Black Sun can be seen everywhere and it's obvious that the latter is running the whole show.

Standing in a small alcove next to the arena the party gets a good look inside of it. Slaves hang up by chains, with little to no ability to move. Beneath them the crowds heckle them and jeer at them. Amongst them they spot a few Qylubs from Coral and other races they'd recognize from the galaxy proper.
But one particular group stands out, instead of chains these are chained with electric bonds and their bodies bear a strange metallic coating. The males of that group try their best to shield the captured young and females with their bodies. Watching them the party gets the distinct feeling that if it wasn't for the fact they were chained up they'd tear through the pirates like they were wet tissue paper.

Feeling ready the party strides into action and heads for one of the smaller guarded entrances. The guards are instantly interested in Kyrae, a sith a rare sight anywhere these days after their Empire was smashed and they were driven to the rim.
A price is quickly agreed upon and Ross and Sirra are led inside the arena proper to get their money while the newly sold slaves are shoved into an elevator by guards.

Ross and Sirra are taken to the pirate quarters of the arena to get their credits. They're also invited to speak with the Boss. An offer only a fool would say no to.

The new slaves are booted out of the elevator and land in the slave pens. They're a dark and miserable place, an oppressive smell of piss, blood, rot hangs heavily in the air. Both Kyrae and Tieron are able to keep their lunches, but leaves them feeling nauseous all the same.
The deeper they head into the pens the more misery they see, there's only a few pinpricks of light in what appears to be a massive cavern. Moving towards one of them it reveals to be a burning barrel where slaves huddle around for warmth. Some bear old weapons, while others just huddle up and weep. Kyrae and Tieron share a horrified look between each other. Neither having seen the darker side of the galaxy before and both are torn at what to do. They need to find Krexus, but at the same time they know they just can't leave these people to die.
In the back of their mind a plan is starting to ferment.

At the same time Sirra and Ross are invited into the small office claimed by the Boss, Innis Glaro. The difference between him and Ynedra couldn't be more obvious. The office itself is spartan, no trinkets or personal possessions seen anywhere and the desk itself is neatly organized. Innis is cordial and relaxed, almost too nice.
As the conversation drags on both feel a mounting sense of dread as the silent nodding and quiet observations from Innis drags on and on and on.
Just as their cover is about to crack they're saved by someone more important showing up and requiring Innis time.

GM posted:

You're quickly led out of the boss' office, the two rodians leaving toward a side door as every pirate in the surrounding area seems to immediately snap to attention, some even throwing away their drinks or tossing over prostitutes to hide them.

Back in the pits the two others does some exploration and find out they're inside a massive cell and there's about twenty more slaves in there with them. In a corner they find the bodies of three of the metal-plated aliens. The male has had his head smashed in and while the two females are obviously dead there's no wounds on them. Talking to some of the other slaves they learn what happened, but there's also a survivor from that group. A lone girl that now stares blankly into the fire.
They neither see or hear any guards but the sound of music and blades being sharpened can be heard from another cell block.
Tieron learns that the elevators have been tampered with to prevent them from going all the way down to the floor. Instead they stop where the roof of the cell would be and the slaves are thrown out. Which means using the elevators to escape is impossible as they can't be called down or even reached without some difficulty.
While Kyrae talks to the slaves, trying to figure out where Krexus is and offering to help them to get out, the buff cathar turns his attention to the cell door and tries to push it open.
He success partially, getting the door somewhat opened. It's not much but it's a start.

Kyrae on the other hand with her talks with the other slaves discovers that the survivor of the metal aliens can actually talk.

Nymera posted:

"Wrong-speak. Word not. Want free."
Her words a mix of basic and not something she can recognize. This revelation causes a stir amongst the slaves.
It's clear that Kyrae and Tierons actions, coupled with the words of the girl has lit the fires underneath the slaves and they spring into action. A real slave revolt starting to brew in the pens.

In the pirate quarters the two 'slavers' get to work as well. With the boss gone the office is ripe for some sleuthing, but the problem is that there's two guards right outside playing cards.
With Ross acting as distraction and engaging the two pirates in a game of cards, Sirra manages to slip inside the office. Her job made infinitely easier with the help of the keycard they managed to get earlier.
Rummaging through Innis computer she learns that Krexus is being held on the third level on the gladiator dens, among plenty of other things that Ynedra will find pleasing.
The Nautolan also finds out that there's turbolaser turrets located on the last floor of the arena. Obviously meant to eliminating anything dangerous left alive. She also gets her hands on the access codes for the turret, figuring it might come handy later.
One interesting thing she learns is that Scything Eye has apparently been working behind the backs of their bosses and done work directly for Czerka in setting up a network of navigation buoys inside the maze.
With her job done Sirra sneaks out of the office.
Meanwhile while the sleuthing happened Ross turns out to be extraordinarily bad at cards. What started as offering just one slave to the two pirates has now led to him offering three; one sith for Ron the human pirate and two for Taz the Weequay pirate. The Trandoshan isn't sure if he got cheated or not but is given a friendly reminder that they're going to honor that bet before long.

Back in the pens the ball is rolling as well. With the help of a few slaves Tieron manages to get the door open just big enough to let the others out. Meanwhile Kyrae manages to convince the girl, Nymera, to help them. Also learning that the bodies belonged to her family. The more the girl speaks the more she starts making sense, her half-basic tongue seemingly adjusting itself as she watches them speaking.
Emboldened and reinforced the group makes it way out the hallway. They quickly set into action opening nearby cells. Nymera acting as a liaison to convince the others of her kind, known as Hydragians, that they want to help.
This is when they discover that she has the power to bend and shape metal, a trait shared with the rest of her species as they see the other females do the same to make weapons for them. Even if it's obvious that its exhaustive work and only Nymera is able to do more than a few blades before suffering from exhaustion.
Leaving the slaves to free and arm themselves, Tieron and Kyrae decides to explore the central room. This is where they meet the arenas other gladiators. They're a motley bunch, an armored Kaleesh, a Herglic with a massive hook-hand, a Dowutin with spiked gauntlets and a visibly haywire droid look at them expectantly.
Talking to them they learn that Krexus is already ready to deploy, and the only way out is through the arena.

Fisto "The Fister" posted:

"FIST. KILL. KILL. MEATBAGS IN BODYBAGS. MEATBAGS IN BODYBAAAAAAAAAGS"

Talking to the Glaidiators, at least those who can keep up conversation, they learn that they all know Ynedra as well. Even if most of them think she left them for dead.
But suddenly their discussion as how to get out is interrupted by the sound of machinery as the gladiator pens begins to rise, followed by the central platform.

GM posted:

As the platforms raise the crowd begins to roar, the dais and hoverbarges neatly positionning themselves around the platform as the announcers begin reciting their welcoming speech.
The four gladiators find themselves at their positions, electro chains binding their feet as they seem surprised and looking for ways to get themselves out of them. At the center a large muscled zabrak kneels, both of his hands chained along with his neck and feet.

Talk posted:

Announcer: "LADIES AND GENTLEMEN. AQUATIC LIFEFORMS AND GAS-BASED ENTITIES WELCOME ANY AND ALL TO THE NIGHT OF A THOUSAND DEATHS !"
Tieron Ravenlocke:"Wait, a THOUSAND?!"

Not only that the whole thing also sponsored by the Czerka corporation. The party getting their first look at the CZEO Thomassen Carleo Der Zhantassen.

Scene posted:

The main holoterm shifts from the shouting neimoidian, switching to the smiling sitting form of a man in his mid 30s with an appearance as perfect as it is pristine. Sitting next to him is Innis Glaro looking ever bored and a Faleen woman look incredibly angry.

Around them the crowd erupts into cheers as the slaves are brought up, pillars of fire and whirling blades ignite across the arena floor as environmental hazards.
The festivities has truly begun now.

In the crowds Sirra and Ross see their friends emerging onto the floor and the Nautolan goes for one of the nearby turbolaser turrets. Unfortunately they're all independent from each other so she has to hack every one is succession. All the while the others on the arena floor have one goal:
Survive.

The fighters know that their chance of survival is massively increased the more people they have on their side, the slaves not exactly cut out for the job against weird semi-invisible murder beasts. With that Tieron goes to work starting to undo the chains holding the gladiators in place, pulling out one of his key cards from a... hiding place to quickly undo the bonds of Amon "The Pounder", who immediately murders two of them.

Amon posted:

"COME ON AND SLAM."

The battle is brutal, but not one sided. Slaves die in their droves but the Hydragians, armed with swords and their metal fists, manage to hold their own. With Kyrae leading from the front.

Time for Ogre battle posted:

A trio of Hydragian warriors move their friends back as Kyrae leap in, grabbing their blades and leaping onto the back of the beast. One of them restrains it with his fists while the other two beging pounding the side of it's body, ribs cracking and organ rupturing under their forceful fists.
The beast attempts limping to safety but one of the males drives his fist directly throught it's screaming gullet ripping out its tongue and tossing it to the side. They appear spent, their fury quelled for the moment.

Up in the crowds Sirra only manages to deactivate one of the turbolasers before the sheer weight of the crowds impedes her progress to the second one. Meanwhile Ross does what he can to aid his friends and tosses one of Kyrae's heavier weapons into the ring for her to use.
Tieron manages to free the droid, who quickly shows why he's named "The Fister"

MORTAL KOMBAT posted:

Fisto "The Fister" turns on it's chassis walking down directly toward the nearest phasecat and blowing it's head open with a single punch, the entire front of the creature peels back from the impact. Withouth stopping stride the robot turns toward the other cat, lunging forward with a punch that rips it in two, spine and guts flying everywhere.

Kyrae grabs her scatterblaster and in short order blows the phase of one of the phasecats.

ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?! posted:

The blast ignites the face of the creature, blowing apart chunks and killing it in a swift blow. The thundering blast hears you a loud gasp from the crowd and the warriors around you jump back out of surprise.
Kyrae Sisk turns and bellows at the crowd.
"You bastards entertained yet?"

Evidently not as things take a turn for the interesting.

Now you done hosed up posted:

"LADIES AN' GENTLEMEN IT SEEMS THAT THE SLAVES ARE ARMED ! WHAT A GLORIOUS TWIST OF EVENT ! ARMED SLAVES ! COOPERATING GLADIATORS ! IT SEEMS THAT WE MUST ADAPT."
The ground shakes as the platform rises ... up and ... up ... and up.
"TONIGHT WE GIVE YOU, THE LIGHTNING ROUND, ALL SEVEN FLOORS AT ONCE. THESE HEROIC SOULS HAVE SHOWN THEY HAVE SOME SPUNK, LET'S SEE HOW THEY DEFEAT THE TRIFECTA FROM HELL, THE ANNIHILATION WITH OMISSION, THE DEATH OF A THOUSAND FOOLS ! THE TRIUMVIRATE OF DOOM !
Slowly the platform reaches the seven floors, the doors opening to reveal the monstrosity inside.

And to further illustrate it, this is where we left off last week.


Next time: Survive.

Cooked Auto fucked around with this message at 00:58 on Dec 26, 2020

Jade Rider
May 11, 2007

All the pages have been censored except for "heck," and she misread that one.


Cooked Auto posted:

And to further illustrate it, this is where we left off last week.


Next time: Survive.

Oh that is going to be a glorious clusterfuck. :getin:

ItohRespectArmy
Sep 11, 2019

Cutest In The World, Six Time DDT Ironheavymetalweight champion, Two Time International Princess champion, winner of two tournaments, a Princess Tag Team champion, And a pretty good singer too!
"When I was an idol, I felt nothing every day but now that I'm a pro wrestler I'm in pain constantly!"

alright I've got some cat piss for you folks both taking place in a shadowrun living community and on the same day no less.

I signed up for two runs in this community because I had an entire day free and things were going real well in all the sessions I had played.

First run we get the details of a meet at a preschool in a C zone, our mage/face decided to show up in his VTOL jet, failed his check to find a good landing spot and couldn't land for about 45 minutes after the meet. GM asks when everyone is arriving, two dudes say they're arriving 30 minutes early and will just sit in their car and I and another dude arrive at like 1 minute before the meet.

Two dudes show up 30 minutes early, fail their etiquette and composure and knight errant show up, one of their sins gets burned and the run is busted, we had played for about 10 minutes, apparently the reason knights errant showed up is because a VTOL was flying overhead and freaking people out.


Next run comes up in a few hours and we actually survive the meet and even do legwork! The job is to kidnap a drug chef from a secure yakuza compound in an E zone, we come up with a master plan, our mage (ironically the same as the one earlier) turns the 3 combat people invisible so they can scale the wall of the compound and get inside. It's a high noise area so our decker wants us to kill the decker on site and jack him in, very cool stuff.

So we climb over the first wall and onto the roof of the building where we found the target, enter the door and realise we didn't check for sensors and what do you know? Alarms go off, yakuza guys protecting the building are all over the place but hey, we've got like 3 street samurai, it's gona be fine. We kill the spider, boss yakuza man and his sniper buddy pretty quickly but weirdly our orc gentleman keeps throwing pepper punch everywhere at all the goons, which is whatever because we're all chemsealed like the sick powergaming freaks we all are but we hit a snag when we mow down about a dozen yakuza goons and reach the target, the cook.

My friends we are now in the cat piss zone, as soon as we reach the target the group does the worst thing any shadowrun group can do, it starts thinking, they start considering things like the fact pepper punch causes stun damage after 2 rounds of exposure and that the cook is just a regular weak human, paranoia sets in and then the arguing about what to do starts.

Combat continues as wave after wave of yakuza taste the blades of me and the troll who keep fighting them as the orc, mage and decker all argue about truly insane theories about pepper punch murdering our VIP and thus all of us being branded stupid failure shadowrunners.

This goes on for HOURS, ocassionally the GM will try and hint that it'll be fine and me and the troll will say it'll probably be fine but those 3 simply cannot handle it, they keep trying to think their way out of a problem that does not exist, eventually we get to around 7 hours into the session and I realise they will never see sense and action needs to be taken.

I inform them that I will be walking out of the front door and drawing the fire of the 12 or so goons waiting outside to blast anyone trying to escape out the front (we entered by climbing over the back walls) basically I realised I would rather my character die than go through any more of this.

This serves a few benefits, the path outside the front door may have 12 yakuza waiting to blast anyone but it does not have pepper punch clouds so perhaps the other players will be convinced of my genius but I made one mistake. I said it just before my turn while it was the deckers turn.The decker who is also driving our escape vehicle, drives his car from the back of the compound to the front, drawing the fire of the 12 yakuza goons who had all delayed actions until one of us came out, his car is immedietly destroyed via gunfire and he gets incredibly mad thinking his character is dead and goes on a super long rant about pepper punch and other stuff about the unfairness of it all and such.

I imagine he was frustrated as we entered hour 8 of a session that was earmarked to be 4. His character is actually fine it's just his car that's destroyed. I go ahead with my genius plan and walk outside and begin shooting at goons while the orc uses his robo legs to run 120 meters in one turn, all the way out of the compound and the troll follows him moving at the snails pace of 80.

My character moves at about 40, as he is merely a baby street samurai but he does manage to escape after getting knocked out due to being shot by 11 yakuza goons and the troll turning around running 80 meters soaking 11 shots from the goons and running away.

The best part? We had spent about 40 seconds of time ingame because we did so few turns with all the bickering.

My only regret is that I didn't do something so stupid sooner saving us all from the true stupidity: thinking.

Cooked Auto
Aug 4, 2007

Jade Rider posted:

Oh that is going to be a glorious clusterfuck. :getin:

Oh it was, but not in the way you'd imagine.

Robindaybird
Aug 21, 2007

Neat. Sweet. Petite.

Oh boy, the stuck record mentality is a bitch, though the GM letting it continue for hours is ridiculous. When stuff like that happens, you have to break the loop, even if it requires stopping for a 'smoke break'.

ItohRespectArmy
Sep 11, 2019

Cutest In The World, Six Time DDT Ironheavymetalweight champion, Two Time International Princess champion, winner of two tournaments, a Princess Tag Team champion, And a pretty good singer too!
"When I was an idol, I felt nothing every day but now that I'm a pro wrestler I'm in pain constantly!"

Robindaybird posted:

Oh boy, the stuck record mentality is a bitch, though the GM letting it continue for hours is ridiculous. When stuff like that happens, you have to break the loop, even if it requires stopping for a 'smoke break'.

i dont know if he was new to gming or just hadn't come across this problem but it was agonizing, I feel for the guy because it was a really fun session up until all of that.

Yawgmoth
Sep 10, 2003

This post is cursed!

Robindaybird posted:

Oh boy, the stuck record mentality is a bitch, though the GM letting it continue for hours is ridiculous. When stuff like that happens, you have to break the loop, even if it requires stopping for a 'smoke break'.
I've had sessions of games where I just had to say "okay guys, OOC: your plan will work. Your roll(s) will determine how well it works; if you roll really well, you might get a further benefit, and if you roll poorly there may be some complications down the road. But you will, at the present time, be successful with what you are trying to do. Now roll your [skill]." I've never had anyone try to argue beyond that, thankfully.

Robindaybird
Aug 21, 2007

Neat. Sweet. Petite.

Yawgmoth posted:

I've had sessions of games where I just had to say "okay guys, OOC: your plan will work. Your roll(s) will determine how well it works; if you roll really well, you might get a further benefit, and if you roll poorly there may be some complications down the road. But you will, at the present time, be successful with what you are trying to do. Now roll your [skill]." I've never had anyone try to argue beyond that, thankfully.

Yeah, sometimes you can say it and it gets through, sometimes they get so stuck in it you have to completely break their focus - a cousin had such a loop happen and he had to basically pull the 'rocks fall everyone dies' to get their attention, and then explain 'no not really, but now you've stopped arguing, here's what's going down."

Agrikk
Oct 17, 2003

Take care with that! We have not fully ascertained its function, and the ticking is accelerating.
I've run sessions where I'd laid out a (seemingly simple) scenario and the players overthought it so much that I changed the scenario to go with their planning, because their planning was cool and I wanted to reward them.

I've also run sessions where the player planning went so far down the rabbit hole that I did like Yawgmoth said and straight up interrupted them with "Okay your original plan should work. Roll a couple of (token) dice against (a couple of random and vaguely applicable) skills and let's move forward."

Reclaimer
Sep 3, 2011

Pierced through the heart
but never killed



A player from my regular game invited me to a game he was running

as a primary antagonist.

Going very well so far, party is pretty cool with it OOC. Full details after our encounter resolves but holy poo poo were they not expecting the wizard to be able to completely style on them in melee.

CzarChasm
Mar 14, 2009

I don't like it when you're watching me eat.

Reclaimer posted:

A player from my regular game invited me to a game he was running

as a primary antagonist.

Going very well so far, party is pretty cool with it OOC. Full details after our encounter resolves but holy poo poo were they not expecting the wizard to be able to completely style on them in melee.

So does that mean you are openly rolling against the other players, or is the GM rolling for you and you are providing a face and personality for the antagonist?

Reclaimer
Sep 3, 2011

Pierced through the heart
but never killed



CzarChasm posted:

So does that mean you are openly rolling against the other players, or is the GM rolling for you and you are providing a face and personality for the antagonist?

I'm rolling out in the open, I have a sheet the other players can look at if they wanna, I'm doing the characterization and roleplaying. The DM is really just arbitrating what is essentially a PVP match of me against the party; it sounds like the perfect recipe for catpiss but so far it's been fun for both sides.

Some background on this, he offered to get me in on his game as a player and I gave him a character concept that was rooted in another character's backstory. He was pretty hyped about it, but I later learned that he already had six players and I told him that's already too many. A month later he even downsized the group to just four players because he was having trouble giving everyone time in the spotlight.

He was already stoked about the plot potential of my character though so we went ahead with the fight. I abandoned any pretense of being redeemable or joining them in the end by slaughtering the crew of their airship when I stole it.

Next session is Sunday. I'll talk up the other characters a bit after they either turn the tables and kill my witchbuckler, or TPK.

bawk
Mar 31, 2013

Reclaimer posted:

witchbuckler

:allears:

My experience with witches and swashbucklers is Pathfinder, and I can imagine you get to do some mean, mean things with that sort of hybrid

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CobiWann
Oct 21, 2009

Have fun!
According to my DM, there's no such spell as Sphere of OSHA Non-Compliance.

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