… You must be completely mental if you think I’m playin’ along with this.

Oh, but why would you not?

Why, just consider all the –

You come into my girlfriend’s work, harass ‘er, threaten ‘er, insult my friends, and literally try to make me your king? You’ve done nothin’ but make me wanna hate you so far. Give me one reason I should listen to anythin’ you’re sayin’ before you manage to slam your door shut permanently.

…

… I have an idea, brother.

Do tell, brother.

Let us make a wager. Despite how we may appear, we are no mere dandies. For instance, we are skilled Pokémon Trainers in our own right, enough so that, why, I believe we may be able to stand up to Galar’s finest here.

I see what you mean, brother!

I thought you would, brother. How about this? Let us fight a bout with, say, the Champion and the semifinalist.

If we win, you must agree to at least hear us out in some detail.

If we lose, we shall depart posthaste. Is this acceptable to you?

Piers, honestly I’ve kind of wanted to punch them in the mouth since we walked in and this is the closest opportunity I’ll ever get. I say let us at them.

I’m basically always up for a fight .

No.



Sonia, you’re the injured party in all this. What do you want?

Kick their arses, you two.

You heard your queen. Kick their arses, you two.







Double battle time! Their Pokémon are a little bit more formidable than they were last time, though I’m pretty confident we can waste them just the same. Also, happy to see we can rely on Hop to throw out his Dubwool at the first opportunity. Unfortunately, most of their Pokémon are Steel-types, perfect for invalidating most of what it can do. Also unfortunate? This Golisopod. It nails Mr. Blobby with Sucker Punch before he can move, shaving off half his HP; Acrobatics does roughly the same right back to it, but it auto-switches out for a Bisharp, a Pokémon well suited to dealing with both of us.



And then Hop proves me wrong. As Mr. Blobby vanishes using Phantom Force, the Dubwool breaks out Double Kick, which nearly kills the Bisharp in one hit; after their Pokémon waste their moves trying to target Mr. Blobby, currently off the field and waiting to smack the Bronzong, Dubwool finishes the job and claims the fight’s first kill.



Unfortunately, their Doublade takes it out in one hit, followed by Mr. Blobby himself. I’m done screwing around; that Doublade is pretty terrifying and I have no intention of letting it run wild. Fortunately, it’s weak to Fire.





That Falinks nails Bonham with a super-effective Megahorn, dropping his HP by more than half before the Golisopod finishes the job. In previous fights, Hop’s never lost more than one Pokémon. Bruce Zen Headbutts the Falinks unconscious, and we come to their last pair of Pokémon:



This is Klinklang using Protect to deflect a Pyro Ball, by the way, but that only buys it one turn before another Pyro Ball takes it down. Hop’s Corviknight finishes the job with a Brave Bird, and we have victory.





… That was a stinging defeat, brother.

Indeed, brother. But let us look on the bright side!

A capital idea, brother! Why, it is always wise to know your –

_{Back in university, she never drank much. Said she didn’t like the feeling. But whenever we got pissed, she’d always volunteer to drive us back. No matter how wild things got, she always made sure everybody got home safe…}





Sorry, luv. I figured anything I said would just make you feel worse than ya should…







But I think you’re forgetting something

Oh bollocks, you’re right! Something popped up on our equipment the moment you stepped out the door!



Everywhere except Spikemuth?

Right.

Then we have our marching orders.



I need to stick around and watch the graphs, see if anything changes.

Of course. We can handle this, right?

Righto.



Keep us posted, though.

Of course. Now get a move on!

…

Our visit to Stow-on-Side goes a little differently from the previous couple gyms…



… Plus, this time, there’s a bunch of Dynamaxed Pokémon running around and we have to fight this one on our own. Aside from that…







Fourth verse, same as the second and third. But the fifth verse?



Stop trying to sound Galarian, you Unovan twat.

Good to see you too, rear end in a top hat.

… Mate, this is SO not the time or the place.

Go ahead, do indulge him.



You know what? gently caress it, let’s go .

Well, that’s not a promising start to the fight. While Mawile’s Fairy typing theoretically makes it vulnerable to Poison, it’s also Steel, which is entirely immune to it. I forgot about that. Fortunately…



… Dragons can breathe fire. The Mawile’s Iron Head barely hurt it. Baklava versus Gardevoir next. Unfortunately for it, it just didn’t have a good counter to Baklava (though it did nearly knocked him out a Future Sight after it went down).



A hot air balloon and a unicorn stare each other down. It does some serious damage him with multiple Psycho Cuts, but repeated Phantom Forces just prove more than it could take. Down it goes.







The final showdown. I open by smacking Morgan here with a super-effective Poison attack, and it responds by…



… Using a move that raises its Special stats. She goes down the next turn. That’s it. He doesn’t even have more than four Pokémon. As far as I can tell, there weren’t any gimmicks in his team that I missed, that’s all she wrote. For shame, Bede. For shame. I wish there was more I could show off, but .

I’m sure someone will let me know what I missed.

<sub>Nice speech, Bede. Needs some more grandstanding, though. And you definitely shouldn’t end it with cleaning up, it’s undignified.

Shut it, Opal.</sub>

Wait! Piers, Hop, can I ask you to go ahead for a bit? I’ll catch up in a mo’.



We’ll scout out ahead. But if you don’t catch up, we will take all the credit!

You’ll try! You too, Opal.

And why should I do that?

I wish to speak with the Leader of the Fairy Gym. Are you going to undermine his authority?

Well said, young lady!

You have, like, an office or something?

…

Okay, what’s so important you need to drag me away from –

You have the lowest expectations of me out of anybody I know. I need to vent.

… This must be serious.



All right. Shoot.

Being Champion is making school miserable.

If you called me all the way over for THIS…

No, you don’t understand. It’s gotten so bad I’m considering actually resigning as Champion.

Wait, hold up. You – you do realize I’d gut you like a fish if you just gave in like that, right?

I know! That’s how bad it’s gotten… I don’t socialize much, you know? Just by nature. And I guess I thought being Champion would just mean I had to fight matches and show for events sometimes? Look, I’ve wanted to be Champion ever since I saw Leon win on the telly and decided that Pokémon were the best thing ever.

THAT’S why you –

But I was bloody well wrong, because nobody in the entirety of the University of Motostoke will leave their Champion alone for five loving minutes. I don’t have friends there, you understand? I’ve had too many people turn out to be after fame or money or advice who wouldn’t leave me alone that I don’t trust anybody anymore. Even half the professors seem in on it and the rest stand by and watch, the wankers. And that’s when all the other little gobshites aren’t accusing me of cheating or informing me they don’t follow Championships like it makes them better than me!

Are you sure that –

And the administration! Arselickers give me anything I want but space. No WONDER people think I’m cheating when they hand me every loving thing they can think of even if I don’t want it. And they badger me until I show up at their stupid little events and fundraisers and shite and make me socialize with their arsehole friends!

I –

Yeah, yeah, I know it could be worse. I know that! And I sleep 10 hours a day because it’s the only way I can get away from this shite for a split second and always wake up knackered anyway. I hate being the most important person on campus so, so loving much…

So, if you hate being the most important person at your college, is there college you can transfer to where you’re NOT the most important person there?

And where would that be? This is loving Galar, where would the Champion NOT be the most important Trainer… In the city…



… That’s brilliant. That’s brilliant! You’re a genius! I can’t believe I didn’t think of that, thank you, Bede! Thank you so much!

You’re welcome?

That was exactly what I needed to hear. I can’t thank you enough. I knew I could count on you to “keep it real”.



But seriously, never say that again.

…

Two more Gyms now. Since this whole exercise is a thinly-veiled excuse to revisit all the Gyms like in the main story, let’s skip Hammerlocke and head straight to Circhester.







()



Sixth verse, same as the second, third, and fourth.

Falconier111 fucked around with this message at 00:24 on Jan 7, 2021

Since this obviously isn’t very important, instead of trying to follow up on this…







… We beat up another Dynamax Pokémon. Hooray! Then our phone starts to beep.

She’s right there, why would she –





I can see you from here, you know.

And I’m trying not to cause a fuss! Get over here!



You lot ready to handle this?



Let’s go.

<sub>Who the hell are these people?

His fans ?</sub>

Let’s cut to the chase.

You even convinced the true king of Galar to disdain his responsibility!



The crowd boos, using some of the only human voice tracks in the game.

The old history was better, eh? … Tell me, what’s your opinion of the Galarian Empire?

Why, it was the pinnacle of civilization, of course! Our industry and culture were the envy of the world –

Get hosed!

Beg pardon?

I’m a historian, you twit. I know what we did! The millions of people we orchestrated the starvation and murder of… We rampaged across the world stealing everything that wasn’t nailed down and killing everyone who fought back! I don’t know how many languages no longer exist because we stamped them out and how much of the past we destroyed when we decided their buildings and records weren’t up to our standards.

And we brought them culture and infrastructure! We produced some of the greatest literature the world has ever known! We built railroads they still use, educated their leaders, and designed the system of government most of them use! They use our language to strike deals with their neighbors!

That’s the nature of colonialism; it’s velvet wrapped around a knife. We brought contributions to their cultures and societies they use and embrace to this day. And we also pillaged, burned, and murdered everywhere we ruled for centuries. There’s a reason most of our colonies broke free the moment they could! And maybe you didn’t notice the tam o’ shanter, but I am Cameran. Honestly, I like being a citizen of modern Galar. There’s a lot to say for it. But I haven’t forgotten how the Galarians pulled the island together; there’s a reason we occasionally try to break free. And for us Camerans, especially the East Camerans, we remember that you perfected the techniques you used to cause that destruction on us right here at home.

I refuse to discuss this with someone incapable of understanding our heritage.

Then let’s discuss something else I don’t understand – your hair! What kind of torture techniques do you practice on it every morning? You look like a Mantine decided to have sex with your face, shook off the beer goggles a bit, and decided to go around back around so it wouldn’t have to gently caress THAT. And your brother is even worse! His hair looks like somebody sliced off his todger, dyed it grey, threw it under a steamroller, and bolted it to the back of his head. I can’t tell if you’re natural blonds or if you’ve abused your poor scalps so much they’re trying to turn your hair white in protest. I don’t believe those are actually your “ancestral hairstyles”. Can you imagine cramming that poo poo into a helmet? No, I bet your ancestors invented them a couple generations back and lied to their children about them, just as they did about their pedigree –

Enough!



Yeah, uh, if it wasn’t already obvious, we’re apparently trying to re-create the main plot in miniature here while making it somehow even more slapdash; in line with the aesthetic, his team is exactly the same as the first time we fought him right down to the moveset. The single solitary difference is all of them have been bumped up four levels. Look, I know this is sloppy LPing, but there’s literally nothing to this fight you haven’t seen before. So instead of actually narrating the fight, I’m just going to show off a few moves.





No Retreat, as I mentioned earlier, solidly boosts all of Falinks’s stats in exchange for trapping them on the battlefield. I’ve heard it said that it’s supposed to make it a useful gimmick Pokémon when fighting other players: toss it out, let it soak up damage, use the opportunity to give your team a pitstop, and come back ready for bear once it goes down. Unfortunately, it’s just not a very good Pokémon on all kinds of levels, and apparently the gimmick doesn’t work very well anyway. Here, it just means it takes me longer to put the thing down.



Oh please.









Hyper Beam was one of the most powerful moves in Gen 1; it took some planning to use, given the fact that it made you skip a turn after you used it, but its Normal type it made it hit just about everything and it was strong enough to wreak havoc on whatever its target happen to be. It was also Gyarados’s effective signature move, and while many other Pokémon got their hands on it over the years, the two remain closely associated.

See? But yeah, there’s nothing interesting about this fight.



Wait – we need to know. What the hell have you been using the Wishing Stars for?

We happened to appropriate something valuable from a museum recently; we had a sympathizer on the staff, you see. A remarkable and very old paired sword and shield.

_{Oh my god .}

The sword has some connection to your pretend Zacian, and based on our studies, we believe we can summon it through extensive exposure to Galar radiation. Then… Well, if it really is the true Zacian, as you say, it will either resist the radiation or avoid such an obvious trap, no? But if it does not, well, suddenly such a Pokémon will begin to run amok! A Pokémon natural disaster we prepared for and we can handle!

An astute deduction, your Majesty! And we learned quite a bit. Now that we know how to artificially induce Dynamaxing at will, well…

If I am not mistaken, we just did. I will not stop you from boarding this elevator if you so wish; perhaps you will see something educational once you reach the top.







I swear to God, they borrowed the Super Saiyan sound effect for Zacian in this scene.

Ddraig Goch’s Cross Poison was practically made to face down Zacian. Without it, I probably would’ve had to go back and pump some Rare Candies into my Pokémon just to keep them around long enough to take more than one or two hits. I couldn’t even get Lindworm to use Splash against her! She’d just OHKO him before he got in a move .

Zacian powers up and charges Hop –



– Only for Zamazenta to appear in front of him.





The two have a brief doggie conversation…



…Only for Zacian to turn tail and jump away. I need to stress just how badly animated the Legendary Wolves are; their models have exactly one walk cycle that plays even as they turn, creating some profoundly unnatural/stupid-looking visual effects. Crunch !

(… I cannot communicate properly in this form. I suppose there’s no avoiding it)

Better.





I believe YOU were the one who tortured my elder sister?



You smell… Vaguely familiar. Are you – well. I told Ćthelflćd it was a terrible idea, but she insisted. And look how it turned out.

<sub>That was… That was his wife’s…

… This can’t be happening…</sub>

But kin though you may be, your connection to us is far too distant to matter. Stand aside, red one.

No! I – I mean… Please, if there’s anything we can give you…

There is no weregeld that will satisfy me, human. Stand aside, or you, too will –

Zamazenta!





…Ha!



(… Very well, child. But I require something of you first.)

Oh?

(The only way you can prevent me from killing the blue one is by taking me into your service, as many past heroes have done. I’ve fought alongside you. I believe you are worthy. But we have yet to face each other as rivals or adversaries.)





(Come, child… Gloria. Are you ready for your greatest battle yet?)





(Can your servants defeat me in battle, Gloria, a being more skilled in the art of combat than all of them put together?)



(Or will you be able to outwit me, to come up with some plan clever enough to defeat a being that has fought and won battles that lasted longer that you’ve been alive –)







Yes.


_{Still collecting suggestions for Zamazenta's nickname. Also, I can't believe the only screenshot I got of Zamazenta protecting Hop makes it look like she farted in his face so hard it blinded him .}

Falconier111 fucked around with this message at 03:56 on Jan 9, 2021

Falconier111 fucked around with this message at 14:37 on Jan 8, 2021

NyoroEevee fucked around with this message at 01:39 on Jan 9, 2021

(Ahahahaha! Ah, the temerity! Defeated with minimal effort before I finished my challenge! It’s like Alfred come again.)

(That’s that’s high praise…)

(He said the same thing when I compared him to the Gudelic.)

(Wait, the – sorry, I gotta deal with something real quick.)







My liege?



As one single favor to us.

Ya realize that, if you do, they’re gonna put you on trial for treason?

We do. We were just rejected by the thing we held most dear…

Whether we ask for the help or not, we have enough powerful friends that they will not find a way to execute us.

Life imprisonment and a devastated reputation await us.

Why put it off?

Zacian roars in the background.

Zacian’s kinda slowing down now, but it’s still in a right state. I could use your help over here.

(She needs our help, child. We must be off!)

Zamazenta says we should go help.

Zamazenta says… What?

She can talk to me out of her Pokéball.

… How?





Woah, okay. Let’s get moving.

But before we do, let’s take a look at our new friend.



Like all Legendaries, Zamazenta’s all around impressive just to start. Like Eternatus, she has a special move that does double damage to Dynamax ‘mons, but unlike Eternatus, she can only access it through the gimmick unique to the Legendary Doggoes; they change forms when given the Rusted Sword/Shield (as appropriate). When you make them hold the right item, they add Steel to their typing, change appearances, and turn one of their moves into the aforementioned anti-Dynamax move. Eternatus is built around Speed, Zacian is built around Attack, and Zamazenta is built around Defense. In theory. The Internet is pretty emphatic about that one. And yet…



Maybe it’s just her Brave nature, but she’s one hell of a physical attacker, and that’s on top of the rest of her stats; she has higher Attack, Defense, and Special Defense than any other Pokémon I have, on my team or in my box. I’ve covered natures, right? Hers raises her Attack and drops her Speed. So she must be a real powerhouse, right?

Well, yes. But here’s the thing:

Zacian is demonstratably better than Zamazenta.

Zamazenta is Fighting-type, Fighting/Steel with her shield. And that’s a pretty solid typing in theory; Steel cancels out all of Fighting’s weaknesses while adding a fat swathe of resistances of its own, plus a broad type coverage as far as moves go. Or it would, if Zamazenta learned any Fighting-type moves before LEVEL 77. See, there’s a hidden quirk of Pokémon’s combat system known as the Same Type Attack Bonus (STAB) that substantially boosts damage caused by moves that share a Pokémon’s Type. While she has access to plenty of Steel moves, she can only use a grand total of four Fighting attacks: one that’s kind of weaksauce unless the opponent goes first, one that’s kind of weaksauce unless you’ve taken a lot of damage (for a Pokémon built around having high defenses), one that misses a third of the time, and one that drops your Attack every time you use it. That last one is the only one she learns naturally. So she effective only gets access to Steel as far a STAB goes. Meanwhile, Zacian’s Fairy/Steel typing has the best mix of resistances and advantages of any possible type combination, she has access to plenty of powerful Fairy AND Steel moves (STAB out the rear end), and since she's built around Attack, she has the power to use them. Zamazenta’s absolutely a good Pokémon, but she just isn’t her sister.

But that’s beside the point.

…

After a short jaunt through the woods (Sonia is waiting by the entrance to teleport you all the way to the end)…

You are a little late, though. I think it’s got it under control. Right mate?



I… Wait.





… I’ve just been informed that..





It really isn’t. If there’s anyone else in the world that deserves it, it’s him.

(But she didn’t subject him to some kind of trial by combat. Odd, that.)

(She was always a romantic.)

His hands are empty. Animators .



…



I know I always lose.



And I’ll be asking you for them for the rest of our lives.



And you’ll get them, mate





You see that contrast? The clock struck 8 PM the exact moment that cutscene ended, shifting the lighting from “afternoon” to “night”. In fairness, this is the first time I noticed this transition in the 75+ hours I’ve spent in-game during this LP. In unfairness, it’s not exactly subtle, and in fact in the past I’ve had to go back and reshoot or heavily edit scenes after going through the screenshots and realizing the sun rose in the middle of a sentence. But that’s beside the point.

Welcome to my favorite battle of the game. Somehow, in the brief period between now and our fight probably less than a day ago (I think?), Hop managed to boost his party’s average level by about five. You know how I mentioned comedy sidekick nirvana? This right here is some cultivation poo poo. Anyway, I open with a bit of a gamble. The only fighting move I could get Zamazenta right now was Revenge, a middling move that doubles in power if it follows an opponent successfully landing an attack on them. Judging by what I know of his Dubwool, he’ll probably either have it use Cotton Guard, which drastically boosts its defense, or Double-Edge. Since it’s probably faster than our slowpoke of an ancient hero, if we get lucky it’ll attack Zamazenta and bring Revenge up to full strength.



We are. It goes down in one hit.





Snorlax comes out next, so I break out the traditional Low Kick – except it’s tough enough to survive and nails Bruce with a super effective earthquake. Hop tries to bring it back to full with a Full Restore, but another Low Kick drops it back down; it goes down the following move, but, drat.



… It’s time for me to commit to mine.



Risky, risky. If my Pyro Ball misses, John Bonham will probably wreck Bruce with High Horsepower’s Type advantage. Fortunately, that doesn’t happen. Thank gently caress for Pyro Ball.



Another odd move, but I taught Zamazenta Dig, another move that had some prominence back in Gen 1; it was one of the few ways to get out of a dungeon without using an item and had a tunnel supposedly made by Digletts using the move connecting two important towns. Here, it’s another time delay move like Fly, one that nails Pincurchin in its Ground weakness. It lasts just long enough to break out its secret; it has a potent healing move that can restore half its HP in one go. Dig does more than half its HP in damage.





While Corviknight is just as weak to Thunderbolt as last time, it has loads more HP and Special Defense. It also throws up White Screen, which drastically cuts the damage special attacks (like Thunderbolt) do. Once again, I get very lucky; Mr. Blobby gets hit by Swagger, which Confuses him, but instead of wasting it turned hurting himself he manages to punch through it and finish his opponent off.

I feel like I can do this forever.



I think it’s time for a dramatic showdown, don’t you? Judging by the last time we fought, if I give Zacian a moment to breathe she’ll start boosting her Attack, and once it goes up a couple stages she’ll be able to OHKO my entire team, one by one. Ddraig Goch here is part of my three-step plan to take her on; I have it open with Flamethrower (which she’s weak two) in hopes of doing some introductory damage. Though it doesn’t last very long before she takes it out, I get lucky yet again with Affection, which lets Goch hold on long enough to get a couple Flamethrowers out; it’s enough to drop Zacian into the yellow.





You did good, kid .



Part two of my plan: Bruce. While Bruce can’t hope to stand up to Zacian if she lands a hit on him, he’s fast and can probably take her out if he lands his Pyro Ball. Unfortunately, she turns out to be faster than he is.



Part three, the last part. Ideally, Bruce would have outsped Zacian and KO'd her with Pyro Ball, but that didn't happen; I held Zamazenta in reserve just in case that happened. With Zacian already softened up, she’s open to a Dig, which would hit her only other Type weakness.



I get INSANELY lucky: Close Combat, which should have knocked her out, left Zamazenta with a measly seven hit points. That was just enough to let her Dig Zacian into oblivion, securing my victory.



I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: this should not have been as decisive a win as it was. I’m kind of in awe. This was by far the hardest fight in the main game, blowing anything Leon had to offer out of the water. Every one of his Pokémon has something to offer; Dubwool’s Cotton Guard-driven Defense, Snorlax’s powerful tax and bags of HP, Pincurchin’s healing and Electric moves, Corviknight’s resistances and counters for Special Attacks, Rillaboom’s brawn, and Zacian’s freight train of an Attack stat. Had his Dubwool turned to Cotton Guard or Ddraig Goch not survived the first Behemoth Blade by the skin of its space mouth thing, I probably would have lost. You did drat well, Hop. I’m proud of you.

Falconier111 fucked around with this message at 02:13 on Jan 10, 2021

And you helped me come to a decision… And yes, it’s going to seem a bit out of nowhere, but…



I’m going to be Galar’s Pokémon Professor someday!

Uh, excuse me? I’m right here, you know!

Well, you’re going to retire someday.



There IS some precedent for Regions having multiple Pokémon Professors. They have a mentor-student relationship, mostly.

There you go.

… You know what? I was planning on just asking this, but I should probably make it all formal-like:

Come on, Hop! You deserve this!

Of course he does!

I’m not letting you share the title until you AT LEAST have a PhD, though .

I know this is a different path than what you and…



Looking forward to it, Hop.

Oh, wait, isn’t there someone you should update on the day’s events now, mate?

Bloody hell, has it really only been one – oh. Oh poo poo.

…

Gloria, what the gently caress is going on?!

How much did Piers tell you?

He told me that we oughtta keep an eye out for some nobs trying to lead a revolution, and the lads’ve been pretty thorough at rooting them out, but… You never even texted me! I was worried sick!

I’m sorry, love, I was all kinds o’ busy trying to save the region!

Well, clearly you’ve got it under control enough to come back an’ visit me now. D’you ever think to send me somethin’ to tide me over?

I came to Spikemuth the moment I could! And why didn’t you try to contact ME?

Because if you WERE foilin’ a coup, I – wait. We’re both gonna start fixatin’ on this if we don’t let ourselves cool down first. Hows about we engage in some stress relief before continuin’ this conversation?

That is a CAPITAL idea.

Come on, game, you can’t even change her title to Gym Leader? Anyway, once you’ve beaten the game you can challenge Marnie to a fight once a day. Unfortunately… Well, her team isn’t all that much different from the last time we fought her. Compared to us she’s severely underleveled, so I had to break out a bunch of backbenchers to even hope to show off what she can do.



Her Liepard is loaded down with moves that manipulate how other Pokémon fight, whether making them Flinch, preventing them from using the same move twice in a row, or manipulating stats. Unfortunately, it lacks any kind of offensive power, which makes it pretty easy to take down. Probably sensing she’s in for a beating, she skips straight to her most powerful Pokémon, Grimmsnarl.

Hey, I have somebody to introduce you to!

Somebody – darlin’, we are in the middle of a fight!



… I don’t recognize that one. Some new species…?

(Would you mind showing off?)

Of course not.











... I like this one. From what I can see, a natural leader AND a descendent of Alfred… A good choice for a wife.

Ach – Zamazenta! We-we aren’t there yet!

Wait, as in… Is that…

LOADS of mad stuff today.

Zamazenta is practically tailor-made to take Grimmsnarl out. It has a selection of moves designed to boost its Attack while penetrating its enemies defenses, but, well. It’s bad LPing, but I couldn’t resist. Next up is Briggs versus her Toxicroak, which exists as a counter to Pokémon that target Dark, but it can’t seem to land a hit on Briggs before it goes down. Her Scrafty breaks out a new moves, Drain Punch, which sucks a lot of health out of Briggs…



… Before I finally smack it with a status effect I’ve been waiting for all game. Frozen completely immobilizes a Pokémon until it breaks free. You can melt it out with a Fire-type move or various items and environmental effects, but until you do, unlike Paralyzed or Confused (which only make using moves harder), it just stops you dead until you heal it or switch it out. Fortunately, moves that can cause it are rather rare and it doesn’t have any moves that automatically cause it, unlike just about every other status condition (see how Kabu constantly lit my Pokémon on fire way back). Let me tell you, I was living in fear/anticipation of somebody Freezing one of my Pokémon in Melony’s Gym. But, well, it’s rare enough that I managed to beat the Ice Gym without ever seeing it. But repeated Ice Beams here finally got me my wish.

And then Marnie uses a Full Restore and completely invalidates my efforts. Briggs goes down that turn, but at least he got to show something off. Dadliest comes out next, since its Fighting moves can take down just about anything she has to offer. Scrafty goes down pretty quick.



But Jekyll comes out next. Time to show off Morpeko’s signature move.











Yeah, it summons a hamster wheel . I’ve talked about how Pokémon try to prioritize Type advantages when using moves, and we’ve even used that tendency to screw over the AI before. So why did it hit us with a move that wasn’t very effective when it has a perfectly good Dark-type move it could break out instead?







I’ve talked before about Morpeko’s Full Belly/Hangry gimmick, and here’s what it looks like in action: it switches Aura Wheel between Electric and Dark every turn. My best guess is that on the first turn the AI looked at the possible Dark typing and decided it was the best choice to use against the Ghost-type Trevenant even though at the time it was still Electric. But since that’s all it has to show off, I just have Zamazenta Dig it into oblivion.



And that was that. That really wasn’t the most amazing fight in the world, but at least it was better than Bede’s shameful display .

Ah… That went about as well as I expected. You a bit calmer now?

Yeah, thanks.

I have a feelin’ you got a lot to talk about. Like how you have a Pokémon that can turn into a human. And thinks we’re married?

Oh my, yes. How about this: first, I’m going to give you a blow-by-blow of what happened today. Second, I’ll formally introduce you to Zamazenta and we’ll get a briefing from her. Third… You know how I constantly whinge about Motostoke?



I've realized what I hate is constantly being singled out for attention as the best Trainer in the Region. So, where in Galar could I find a place where the Champion ISN'T the most prominent Trainer?

You wanna transfer to a Spikemuth university so Piers can take the attention off you. Can't say I'd object to havin' you around more often. We can help you with that.

Yes! And then… How would you like to learn some more about medieval Munethic economics… from someone who was actually there?

… You always get me the best gifts .

And with that, my coverage of the main game is over. There are plenty of secrets for me to find out there, but I’ve always been the type of player that kind of stops the moment I finished the main storyline. So instead of tooling around out here, I think it’s time that we moved on to the next phase of the LP.

Ready for some bold text? From this point forward, I’m playing this game for the first time . While I have read up on the plots of the areas we are about to cover, I may end up going back to edit past posts in order to make the story work better. Not that I haven’t done that before, but . I’ll make a post before every update where this happens to let you know what’s changed and where to find it. The spoiler policy is also slightly different; wrap plot spoilers in spoiler tags, but hints about where to find interesting things don’t count as spoilers as long as they don’t fully explain what’s there or touch on the plot in any way. I’d like a little bit of mystery, but I do NOT mind directions. Finally, I will not be covering every quirk or secret either DLC has to offer. Like with the main game, I prefer writing up storyline reinterpretations or personal essays instead of scavenger hunts. I know this probably isn’t what everyone might prefer, but it’s my LP, so there .

(Also, there’s a whole section I skipped in the Weald seen where the Brothers Prim return and reveal their getting off by doing an apology tour of all things. That… Didn’t happen here.)

With that said… Next time, we’ll begin our visit to the Isle.

Falconier111 fucked around with this message at 22:42 on Jan 10, 2021

Falconier111 fucked around with this message at 22:44 on Jan 10, 2021

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The Golux fucked around with this message at 00:17 on Jan 11, 2021

Falconier111 fucked around with this message at 04:53 on Jan 12, 2021