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Stunt_enby posted:THIS IS NOT loving REAL HOLY poo poo HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA WHAT THE gently caress IS WRONG WITH STRAIGHT PEOPLE Stare into my dead lifeless eyes as I hamfistedly paint a brush of inclusion for non-binaries by only mentioning the only way they're important and its through sex. have you guys had sex? i've had all types of sex look at my cool jacket it's the basis for pages 38 - 46 of the first book lolol epic!
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# ? Dec 3, 2020 19:16 |
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# ? Jun 5, 2024 05:25 |
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A Fancy Hat posted:"Wait, so this is what it's like... to be Superman?" This one is too on the nose cause of the Ernest Cline insert but honestly ever since Stephen King stuck himself in his own novels in one of the greats acts of hubris of all time, anything seems possible.
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# ? Dec 3, 2020 19:18 |
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Slotducks posted:
I never realized how much he looks like Quinton Reviews.
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# ? Dec 3, 2020 20:48 |
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Kaiser Mazoku posted:I never realized how much he looks like Quinton Reviews. That's actually the YouTuber I was referencing in my previous post haha
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# ? Dec 3, 2020 20:51 |
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quote:I ran down the corridor with the BFG cradled in my arms, my high-tops (inspired by the ones Ellen Ripley wore in Aliens, a highly influential sci-fi action film directed by James Cameron) squeaked against the smooth plasteel flooring of The Deathstar. The Deathstar was the flagship weapon of The Empire, the evil antagonists of the hit Star Wars franchise. It was capable of destroying entire planets. I couldn't believe it, here I was carrying one of the greatest weapons ever known while running around inside one of the greatest weapons ever known.
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# ? Dec 3, 2020 22:21 |
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Wade paced back and forth in the bathroom that morning, likening his methodical steps to that of the Hitlerjugend in the hit 1940's Der Marsch zum Führer. One of his favourites. He looked deep into the mirror, beyond himself and into the eyes of Joseph Goebbels, Heinrich Himmler, and even Herman Göring. They told him no secrets this time. He felt like Julius Lippert directing Eine Symphonie des Kampfwillens. It was unfathomable. So far, Wade had done everything Hitler's avatar had asked of him. He had found the secret cipher in Mein Kampf. He had directed faithful party members to South America in the cover of night, feeling much like an independent fighter in a film Wade quoted at least twice a day: Der Fuchs von Glenarvon. There were even times, like during the cover-up of Hitler's death, where he felt like the hero of Württemberg, Obrist Röder, in Jud Süß. But this task was something else. Could he really steal Hitler's missing testicle from Albert Hall in time to ensure the survival of the Aryan race? As Wade was about to find out, this was not just ein Triumph des Willens. This final task would be the ultimate Triumph des Wade, winning over his sexy SS girlfriend and, even, Hitler himself.
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# ? Dec 3, 2020 22:51 |
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Ready Player Two Is a Horror Story but Doesn’t Know Itquote:Wade begins to abuse his powers in tyrannical ways large and small: tracking down his online critics and using his godlike admin power to kill their avatars; filing lawsuits against a band that made fun of him and suing its members into bankruptcy; digging into the personal documents of a female player who tries to help him, hacking her camera, and spying on her chats; and casually offering a $1 billion reward to anyone who helps him solve an ’80s trivia riddle while most of the world lives in crushing poverty. quote:Wade announces that he has single-handedly solved police brutality and systematic bias by replacing human officers with security drones and remote-controlled “telebots” (because nothing would solve the problems of the police like transforming them into a force of private-funded robocops administered by a tech megacorporation). quote:If there is anything relevant to praise about Ready Player Two, it is how Cline inadvertently nails the inner monologue of entitled, out-of-touch tech moguls, particularly their limited understanding of how human beings actually work, their belief that deep, systematic problems have simple technological solutions, and their conviction that despite all evidence to the contrary, they are a still a hero whose haters would stop them from changing the world for the better.
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# ? Dec 4, 2020 00:16 |
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god drat that's an evisceration
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# ? Dec 4, 2020 23:49 |
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Giggle Goose posted:This one is too on the nose cause of the Ernest Cline insert but honestly ever since Stephen King stuck himself in his own novels in one of the greats acts of hubris of all time, anything seems possible. It's nothing new - Margaret Cavendish, Duchess of Newcastle, wrote The Description of a New World, Called The Blazing-World in 1666, and the main character of that falls into a new world, becomes its Empress, and explains to her advisors that she's going to have her life story written by that amazing, intellectually superior and unjustly unpopular writer Margaret Cavendish, the Duchess of Newcastle, so everyone on Earth knows who's going to come and invade them REAL SOON NOW. It's great in an utterly stupid proto-Mary-Sue straight-from-the-id way.
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# ? Dec 6, 2020 14:32 |
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Klyith posted:god drat that's an evisceration "Let them download cake"
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# ? Dec 6, 2020 15:03 |
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Are any goons brave enough to read this for the rest of us?
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# ? Jan 1, 2021 12:53 |
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It's kind of awesome that mocking Ready Player One has itself just become nerds memorizing and reciting a collection of obscure references and then smirking because they recognize them. Quoting Nerd Porn Auteur and referencing the time Ernest Cline lent his DeLorean to George RR Martin, namedropping 372 Pages We'll Never Get Back and that one Jenny Nicholson video, reciting long lists of all the things that Wade Wilson recites long lists of, just a big log of references built up over half a decade that is just as dense and impenetrable as the book itself.
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# ? Jan 1, 2021 13:23 |
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If you're loling at the shoddy quality of the book through this thread or 372 pages, you're doing good; if you're purposefully memorizing bits of the book or the podcast to reference it when talking to anyone else, then you deserve to be mocked
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# ? Jan 1, 2021 13:36 |
Elderbean posted:Are any goons brave enough to read this for the rest of us? I do have plans to do a thread after my Twilight one is done. It’s going to focus on finding a way to enjoy and analyze media better than Cline does, so I’m watching a lot of movies and playing a lot of retro games!
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# ? Jan 1, 2021 14:29 |
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Is this actually from the book? If it is I'll read it.
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# ? Jan 7, 2021 23:22 |
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The only sign that I could tell it's fake is "Halliday" is misspelled.
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# ? Jan 8, 2021 17:20 |
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...of SCIENCE! posted:It's kind of awesome that mocking Ready Player One has itself just become nerds memorizing and reciting a collection of obscure references and then smirking because they recognize them. Quoting Nerd Porn Auteur and referencing the time Ernest Cline lent his DeLorean to George RR Martin, namedropping 372 Pages We'll Never Get Back and that one Jenny Nicholson video, reciting long lists of all the things that Wade Wilson recites long lists of, just a big log of references built up over half a decade that is just as dense and impenetrable as the book itself. I refuse to believe that any of the quotes posted in this thread aren't a parody invented by the poster.
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# ? Jan 8, 2021 18:39 |
yoloer420 posted:Is this actually from the book? If it is I'll read it. The ending is actually much, much dumber.
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# ? Jan 9, 2021 01:12 |
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quote:The cold air glittered in the moonlight, pregnant with dust. Scarlet curtains towered into the midnight recess of the ceiling. They were satin--I checked. My Strifes clicked as I passed over ancient polished marble; crunching velvetly as I crossed the untrod carpet set before a throne upon which no king or lord reclined. It was as if someone had written about the room at the top of Dracula's Castle rather than simply stating that it looked like Dracula's Castle.
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# ? Jan 9, 2021 02:22 |
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Ready Player One/Two doesn't actually exist, it's just a forum joke along the lines of fingerboxes where each poster just makes up their own stories that agree with the general lore that's developed over time, but there's no direct relation to anything that's actually been published and purchased Right? Right?...
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# ? Jan 9, 2021 02:52 |
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This is a post from my best friend's brother, who I believed turned 40 this year, and is completely without irony.
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# ? Jan 11, 2021 20:54 |
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How many novels does that guy usually experience
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# ? Jan 11, 2021 22:15 |
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I read the op as far as "the car from speed racer, the mach 1" and I scrolled through the thread and didn't see it addressed so I don't know if the op hosed it up or if cline did but lol
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# ? Jan 11, 2021 22:39 |
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Sisal Two-Step posted:How many novels does that guy usually experience In recent years? Just two.
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# ? Jan 11, 2021 22:40 |
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Wade punched the coordinates into the hyper-ship. 8-6-7-5-3-0-9 "Jenny, you've got MY number." He said to himself with a grin. The ship responded and began its journey to what the Digi-scientists were calling the "Warp Zone", named after the area from Super Mario Bros for the NES (or Super Famicom if you were Japanese) where you could enter various pipes to to progress further in the game. The Nostromo from Alien lurched to full speed, bolstered by a few mods that Wade had made. Engines from the Starship Enterprise, an energy convertor from the Millenium Falcon, and more. "Atomic batteries to power. Turbines to speed!" Wade said this and laughed to himself. It was, of course, a quote from Batman, the classic television show. Suddenly, there was a commotion in the ship as Super Mario and Eeyore burst into the control room. "Mamma Mia! We've just been targeted by a ship being powered by the Ghoulies! It's shaped like a toilet, just like the iconic movie poster! We gotta lose them!" "Mario, please. This is all according to keikaku, which means my plan."
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# ? Jan 12, 2021 14:30 |
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Sisal Two-Step posted:How many novels does that guy usually experience He considers himself a writer. But he's also one of those guys who keeps planning things, setting things up, and then barely starting them, moving on to something else. So I have no idea how many novels he's started. Certainly doesn't stop him from sharing a poo poo ton of writer memes and inspirational posts. Edit: I should mention that I've read some things he's written and while not laughably terrible like Cline's work, it's also not very good.
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# ? Jan 12, 2021 14:49 |
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A Fancy Hat posted:Wade punched the coordinates into the hyper-ship. Wow, I take it back, this book rules! I regret to inform you that 8675309 is in the book, in the prologue. I think it's a lock code or something.
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# ? Jan 13, 2021 18:27 |
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God he's such a hack, the NES was known as just the Famicom, not Super Famicom!
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# ? Jan 13, 2021 18:29 |
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Does he talk about Japanese stuff or is it solely the western version of stuff
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# ? Jan 13, 2021 18:43 |
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Fried Watermelon posted:Does he talk about Japanese stuff or is it solely the western version of stuff The plot of the book is a ripoff of the anime Sword Art Online and multiple characters name drop it.
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# ? Jan 13, 2021 18:48 |
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I read it so I can get the most enjoyment out of the 372 Pages podcast and its astonishingly bad. I didn't think it would be possible to write a book worse than the first, but I guess I should have since this one is a rehash of that. I'll post excerpts later when I'm done work; the real quotes are just as bad as the exaggerated fakes. I would ask why the author is so weirdly fixated on the concept of virginity, but I also really don't want to get into that
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# ? Jan 13, 2021 18:48 |
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I like how Wade is woke now because of vr porn.
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# ? Jan 13, 2021 18:56 |
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Also noted 80s movie the matrix
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# ? Jan 13, 2021 19:27 |
Yeah the ham fisted wokeness was strong, but overall the story was not awful. But it was very predictable and clearly took ideas from many other sci-fi novels. But it was not as bad as his second book the last star fighter rip off lol
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# ? Jan 13, 2021 19:32 |
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Fried Watermelon posted:Does he talk about Japanese stuff or is it solely the western version of stuff Wade can't type fast enough at one point but literally says "KAIO KEN TIMES TEN!" so he can type 10 times faster.
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# ? Jan 13, 2021 20:17 |
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At one point, the characters reference sonic.exe
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# ? Jan 13, 2021 21:16 |
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This is painful to read and I hate y'all for making me aware of this terrible thing
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# ? Jan 13, 2021 21:31 |
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I suffer skimmed through the first book and its still one of the worst things I've read. It really is just page after page of Wikipedia articles about stuff from the 80s with a rant about masturbation where Ernest fucks up basic chemistry in his nerd book.
Elderbean fucked around with this message at 00:42 on Jan 14, 2021 |
# ? Jan 13, 2021 21:58 |
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Is that the scene where Wade talks about masturbation for like a page?
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# ? Jan 13, 2021 22:27 |
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# ? Jun 5, 2024 05:25 |
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So was this first movie good? It looked like a bad William Gibson story about kids being bad asses in "cyber world".
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# ? Jan 14, 2021 21:40 |