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May 30, 2024 12:15
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- Yinlock
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got caught making GBS threads in the captain's toilet
i mean why does he have a toilet to himself anyway thats just rude. also i guess it was in his personal quarters and he did have a friend over and they were sleeping in the same bed but i just needed to poop my man what gives??
these babies won't even let you poo poo in the airlock
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Jan 14, 2021 18:32
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- The Klowner
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by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
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look i might have been masturbating on the warp core but it was for science.
Turns out Admiral Satie was right. The explosion in the warp core was not an accident at all
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Jan 14, 2021 18:56
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- BoldFrankensteinMir
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Explain how this makes sense: Kirk stole like 3 different capital ships, right? That we know of? Not to mention the laundry list of offenses in that 5-year "exploration" bloodbath he led (that we know of!! Half those planets are still classified!!!). Totally blew the Khan situation, even broke the torpedo treaty that let "Probe 'em" LaForge rain his death on the cosmos, and he gets a slap on the wrist!!! Kirk dies in his dress-uniform, christening the Enterprise B with a champagne flute in his hand, an admiral in everything but name. Mutineer, insurrectionist, turned a blind eye to genocidal madmen, whatever, never spent a night in jail.
But I borrow, just borrow, ONE measly little loving stupid dead alien's flute from the captain's quarters to clean my fingernails with, and I'm freaking court martialed!!!???? WTF!???
Sig by Heather Papps
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Jan 14, 2021 18:58
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- Buttchocks
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No, I like my hat, thanks.
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didn't keep a MSDS for antimatter available in the engineering office
Buttchocks fucked around with this message at 21:22 on Jan 14, 2021
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Jan 14, 2021 21:19
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- Bright Bart
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False. There is only one electron and it has never stopped
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Installed Linux on all the bridge computers.
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Jan 14, 2021 21:45
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- Trying
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put a zipper in me space pyjamas. instant dismissal
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Jan 14, 2021 22:24
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- mailorder bees
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FLUFFERNUTTER
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in the OLD days of space travel, you were supposed to poo poo in your space suit. i guess some people don't appreciate tradition
thanks Manifisto!
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Jan 14, 2021 22:43
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- Yinlock
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all i'm saying is they shouldn't have had phasers able to be turned down that low if they didn't want them to be used for masturbatory purposes
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Jan 14, 2021 22:45
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- Horrible Butts
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Caught making Darth Vader noises behind captain Pike.
https://giant.gfycat.com/sillyremorsefuldipper.webm
Thank you Prof. Crocodile for the fun festive winter sig!
Arcane gob born of Khanstant's goblin gumball machine!
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Jan 14, 2021 23:03
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- Buttchocks
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No, I like my hat, thanks.
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Refused to maintain driver updates for last remaining dot matrix printer.
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Jan 14, 2021 23:17
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- mailorder bees
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FLUFFERNUTTER
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Introduced bitcoin to a pre-warp civilization.
you monster
thanks Manifisto!
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Jan 14, 2021 23:35
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- super sweet best pal
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Programmed the computer with a 24 hour duckroll for Picard day.
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Jan 15, 2021 02:54
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- cruft
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Apparently teleporting into fluidic space to scuba dive falls under waste, fraud, and abuse. 🙄
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Jan 15, 2021 05:05
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- cruft
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That god damned French pool hall has been running for months, but what do you think happens when I turn it off for 15 minutes to try my Picard/Data Ship Fanfic Holo-Novel?
You got it, back to the brig. Space sucks.
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Jan 15, 2021 05:09
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- Horrible Butts
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kicked out of starfleet for being too drat depressed
https://giant.gfycat.com/sillyremorsefuldipper.webm
Thank you Prof. Crocodile for the fun festive winter sig!
Arcane gob born of Khanstant's goblin gumball machine!
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Jan 15, 2021 05:20
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- alnilam
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kicked out of starfleet for being too drat depressed
Troi, Crusher, and even Guinan just being like i can't even with this guy
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Jan 15, 2021 05:22
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- Horrible Butts
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Data marches in the room dressed up like Napoleon Bonaparte and I feel nothing.
Horrible Butts fucked around with this message at 06:34 on Jan 15, 2021
https://giant.gfycat.com/sillyremorsefuldipper.webm
Thank you Prof. Crocodile for the fun festive winter sig!
Arcane gob born of Khanstant's goblin gumball machine!
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Jan 15, 2021 06:31
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- Prurient Squid
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Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.
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Ever since we hired a non-linear, non-corporeal entity as head of security I've been getting warnings for things I haven't even done yet. So I'm going to jump before I get pushed rather than get pre-arrested for taking part in a future mutiny.
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Jan 15, 2021 14:16
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- Yinlock
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loudly ate chips during the captain's log
just type the log like a normal person you weirdo
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Jan 15, 2021 15:09
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- cruft
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It's not my fault, the translator sent it to me as "go down on Jeffery's tube".
Anyway, yeoman Brent wasn't complaining, so I don't see what the problem is.
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Jan 15, 2021 15:18
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- Ass-Haggis
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asproigerosis confirmed
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what would Gowron think about all this, i wonder
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Jan 15, 2021 15:45
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- mailorder bees
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FLUFFERNUTTER
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That god damned French pool hall has been running for months, but what do you think happens when I turn it off for 15 minutes to try my Picard/Data Ship Fanfic Holo-Novel?
You got it, back to the brig. Space sucks.
thanks Manifisto!
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Jan 15, 2021 15:58
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- cruft
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If ensign T'lagna didn't want me to have Neelix cook omlettes, she shouldn't have left her egg clutch under the magnetic containment diagnostic station at the end of her shift.
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Jan 15, 2021 16:40
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- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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#
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May 30, 2024 12:15
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