UKMT January 2021 - i have no chin and i must chitterwagger

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Debate & Discussion > UKMT January 2021 - i have no chin and i must chitterwagger

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Wachter: Mar 23, 2007; You and whose knees?

And to think, they all laughed at him for getting

code:


DECLARE @sql NVARCHAR(max)='' SELECT @sql += ' Drop table ' + QUOTENAME(TABLE_SCHEMA) + '.'+ QUOTENAME(TABLE_NAME) + '; ' 
FROM INFORMATION_SCHEMA.TABLES 
WHERE TABLE_TYPE = 'BASE TABLE' 
Exec Sp_executesql @sql

tattooed on his fingertips

# ? Jan 16, 2021 13:39

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# ? May 25, 2024 05:53

Jose: Jul 24, 2007; Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer

loving hell

https://twitter.com/ne_al_/status/1350218367710470144?s=19

# ? Jan 16, 2021 13:40

Guavanaut: Nov 27, 2009; Looking At Them Tittys
1969 - 1998; Toilet Rascal

Wachter posted:

And to think, they all laughed at him for getting

tattooed on his fingertips

Can the mRNA people get my DNA altered to drop tables?

# ? Jan 16, 2021 13:43

Dead Goon: Dec 13, 2002; No Obvious Flaws

Wachter posted:

And to think, they all laughed at him for getting

code:

DECLARE @sql NVARCHAR(max)='' SELECT @sql += ' Drop table ' + QUOTENAME(TABLE_SCHEMA) + '.'+ QUOTENAME(TABLE_NAME) + '; ' 
FROM INFORMATION_SCHEMA.TABLES 
WHERE TABLE_TYPE = 'BASE TABLE' 
Exec Sp_executesql @sql

tattooed on his fingertips

Ah yes, Little Bobby Tables.

# ? Jan 16, 2021 13:45

sinky: Feb 22, 2011; Slippery Tilde

Guavanaut posted:

Can the mRNA people get my DNA altered to drop tables?

Maybe

# ? Jan 16, 2021 13:48

Wachter: Mar 23, 2007; You and whose knees?

Marvel rejected my pitch of a team of superheroes who fight Big Data

It was called the X-ploitmen

...

I'm sorry

# ? Jan 16, 2021 13:52

peanut-: Feb 17, 2004; Fun Shoe

Anyone else noticed an increasing number of online stores offering quite large up front discounts if you sign up for a credit account and deferred payment?

I can't believe that poo poo is allowed, it's so predatory.

# ? Jan 16, 2021 13:53

feedmegin: Jul 30, 2008

Just Another Lurker posted:

It's just another town half full with empty/boarded up shops and the rest of them being estate agents & hairdressers.

No idea what sort of game the government is doing; do they want to dump N.I. onto the E.U.s back or conduct a pre-emptive border poll to get a firm NO! from the populace.

Shenanigans by the gobshites either way (that sounder way too plastic paddy but whatever).

If you mean the UK government that article implies they are trying to avoid a poll not hold one.

# ? Jan 16, 2021 13:55

Small Strange Bird: Sep 22, 2006; Merci, chaton!

Social media pushes stuff at you whether you want it or not, while you have to actively look for stuff on forums. That's my hot take.

# ? Jan 16, 2021 13:57

Wachter: Mar 23, 2007; You and whose knees?

peanut- posted:

Anyone else noticed an increasing number of online stores offering quite large up front discounts if you sign up for a credit account and deferred payment?

I can't believe that poo poo is allowed, it's so predatory.

poo poo like this?

I can already see it becoming the new Wonga

# ? Jan 16, 2021 14:02

TACD: Oct 27, 2000

Butternubs posted:

It never fails to astound me how incompetent the people who lead this country truly are.

The �genius psychopath� trope is rarely true, psychopathy is usually associated with subnormal intelligence.

# ? Jan 16, 2021 14:04

peanut-: Feb 17, 2004; Fun Shoe

Wachter posted:

poo poo like this?

I can already see it becoming the new Wonga

Like that but worse, at least you're paying the same amount there. I've seen a few recently that will give you a 10% discount on the listed price if you take the deferred payment option over paying up front.

The deferred payments are interest free too, so the only upside for the company is making money on egregious charges & interest when a payment gets missed.

# ? Jan 16, 2021 14:06

serious gaylord: Sep 16, 2007; what.

Wachter posted:

poo poo like this?

I can already see it becoming the new Wonga

Klarna is the big one. Very in at the moment as they dont check credit history to give it to you and if you just dont pay it theres no real downside apart from a collection company sending you to court. They are going to get regulated at some point probably this year because without the credit check theres no 'wait can this person pay this bill' handbrake which is just loving predatory. Much like Wonga was.

# ? Jan 16, 2021 14:07

CoolCab: Apr 17, 2005; glem

TACD posted:

The ‘genius psychopath’ trope is rarely true, psychopathy is usually associated with subnormal intelligence.

always been a bit suspicious of this - I enormously doubt psychopathy has a significant impact on intelligence, just predisposition to violence. that would suggest that the correlation is stronger that lower intelligence psychopathy has a higher risk of getting caught.

# ? Jan 16, 2021 14:21

Tarnop: Nov 25, 2013; Pull me out

CoolCab posted:

always been a bit suspicious of this - I enormously doubt psychopathy has a significant impact on intelligence, just predisposition to violence. that would suggest that the correlation is stronger that lower intelligence psychopathy has a higher risk of getting caught.

Well at least we get to watch you two qualified doctors work this out in real time based on your feelings

# ? Jan 16, 2021 14:26

forkboy84: Jun 13, 2012; Corgis love bread. And Puro

Tarnop posted:

Well at least we get to watch you two qualified doctors work this out in real time based on your feelings

I look forward to only seeing you post on areas you are a fully qualified expert on. So what area will that be?

# ? Jan 16, 2021 14:38

Regarde Aduck: Oct 19, 2012; c l o u d k i t t e n; Grimey Drawer

Dr. Bloodborne, PhD (bloodbornolgy)

# ? Jan 16, 2021 14:42

Gonzo McFee: Jun 19, 2010

Jose posted:

I hate so many high profile labour people

https://twitter.com/HowUpsetting/status/1350408684694876161?s=19

The article rules, Ralf writes that he was so mad about Corbyn that he started shouting at his kids and had a heart attack.

# ? Jan 16, 2021 14:47

Jose: Jul 24, 2007; Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer

Gonzo McFee posted:

The article rules, Ralf writes that he was so mad about Corbyn that he started shouting at his kids and had a heart attack.

lol he says the abuse he got for writing anti-left wing hit pieces caused it and then writes another one

lol the guardian is still letting this fraud write for them. he steals stuff and just makes poo poo up completely and its published in the guardian. it was him who had that story of paul manafort meeting assange in the ecuadorian embassy

https://twitter.com/lukeharding1968/status/1350186187747696650?s=20

# ? Jan 16, 2021 14:48

blunt: Jul 7, 2005

peanut- posted:

Like that but worse, at least you're paying the same amount there. I've seen a few recently that will give you a 10% discount on the listed price if you take the deferred payment option over paying up front.

The deferred payments are interest free too, so the only upside for the company is making money on egregious charges & interest when a payment gets missed.

Klarna's primary revenue is through transaction fees - same as Stripe and Paypal. They don't actually make too much on missed payments because 1) most customers don't miss payments, and 2) They don't have a banking licence so they're mostly acting as a proxy for other lenders, who take the bulk of the interest and late fees.

quote:

So, how does Klarna make money if not from interest and surcharges? The answer is merchant transaction fees from retailers. Klarna reckons it can increase the average online store�s orders by 30% and the average spend by 34%. The claim stands up when you speak to some of Klarna�s customers who admit they have upped their spending.

quote:

Klarna charges merchants a set-up fee, monthly fee and a small percentage of each transaction. The details of these fees are dependent on the contract held with each business but are reported to be in the region of $600 for setting up fees, $90 per month and 1.5% - 3% for each transaction. These fees are comparable to competitors Stripe and PayPal who charge 2.9% + $0.30 per transaction. However, the monthly fee charged by Klarna is more expensive than PayPal that charges $30 per month and Stripe who do not charge monthly fees. Klarna does not charge for implementation of �Klarna Payment,� allowing customers to �Buy Now, Pay Later�.

https://www.theguardian.com/money/2018/nov/17/klarna-buy-now-pay-later-system-that-is-seducing-millennials

It's still bad that they're making credit available to people who may not have the ability to repay and that retailers are incentivizing these purchases, but I don't think their business model is especially comparable to Wonga.

# ? Jan 16, 2021 14:51

Just Another Lurker: May 1, 2009

Regarde Aduck posted:

Ironically the time has never been better for the chance of a unified Ireland. The current lot have no loyalty to nation so if they can some how get ever richer from jettisoning NI it will happen.

I can hope for unification but the realist in me counsels strongly that i delay for decades so as not to trigger: ''The Troubles 2.0'', which would be coming from the other direction when compared to last time.... i wouldn't want to help set off that crap on people again.

# ? Jan 16, 2021 15:07

Wachter: Mar 23, 2007; You and whose knees?

blunt posted:

words

Ah, that's really interesting. I was comparing them to predatory cunts like Wonga because I figured that if you're needing to spread £15 over 4 weeks, you must be incredibly close to the breadline and therefore more likely to miss a repayment and ~~incur the wrath of the Skullcrusher~~ get hit with a vast penalty fee.

# ? Jan 16, 2021 15:08

peanut-: Feb 17, 2004; Fun Shoe

That explanation doesn�t make total sense in the context of the deferred payment discounts now being offered. If retailers pay Klarna for sales why are they explicitly incentivising customers who might otherwise pay up front onto deferred payment schemes?

# ? Jan 16, 2021 15:18

blunt: Jul 7, 2005

peanut- posted:

That explanation doesn�t make total sense in the context of the deferred payment discounts now being offered. If retailers pay Klarna for sales why are they explicitly incentivising customers who might otherwise pay up front onto deferred payment schemes?

Because it's in the retailer's interest to get a customer to try something that increases their subsequent sales by ~30%.

Getting customers hooked on by now pay later is a bad thing. In this case I'm just saying the blame lays with the retailer, not the payment processor.

# ? Jan 16, 2021 15:24

Ewan: Sep 29, 2008; Ewan is tired of his reputation as a serious Simon. I'm more of a jokester than you people think. My real name isn't even Ewan, that was a joke it's actually MARTIN! LOL fooled you again, it really is Ewan! Look at that monkey with a big nose, Ewan is so random! XD

peanut- posted:

Anyone else noticed an increasing number of online stores offering quite large up front discounts if you sign up for a credit account and deferred payment?

I can't believe that poo poo is allowed, it's so predatory.

I dunno if I have missed something but shops (especially clothing and some electronics) have been offering discounts when you sign up for their credit accounts/cards for as long as I can remember.

# ? Jan 16, 2021 15:31

Red Oktober: May 24, 2006; wiggly eyes!

Klarna does credit check, they do a soft check for the short loans, and a hard one for the longer ones.

I helped start a business who sold to Klarna, and wrote all of the risk and credit checking rules.

Here's an example why retailers use them:

Take a company like DFS. If they sell a sofa for �1k which has a cost of goods sold of �500, they make �500 profit. But if someone can't afford that up front, they make �0. So if they use Klarna or similar and sell for (1k-300), they can still make �200 profit on that sofa, and the customer gets a sofa they can pay off interest free over the course of a year.

We never made money off missed payments, if anything it cost us more try and get the money back.

# ? Jan 16, 2021 15:35

crispix: Mar 28, 2015; Grand-Maman m'a raconté
_{(Les éditions des amitiés franco-québécoises)}

Hello, dear

just rob stuff instead imo

# ? Jan 16, 2021 15:50

Darth Walrus: Feb 13, 2012

https://twitter.com/enco123456/status/1349811267339431937?s=21

# ? Jan 16, 2021 16:15

Tarnop: Nov 25, 2013; Pull me out

Regarde Aduck posted:

Dr. Bloodborne, PhD (bloodbornolgy)

# ? Jan 16, 2021 16:18

Lord of the Llamas: Jul 9, 2002; EULER'VE TO SEE IT VENN SOMEONE CALLS IT THE WRONG THING AND PROVOKES MY WRATH

Lungboy posted:

My wife is Dutch and was horrified this week to discover that English has 7 (at least) ways to make the "e" sound (ee, ei, ie etc). She always moaned about how bad English was for learning but teaching our daughter to read has really brought home the scale of the issue. Homophones as mentioned have been an annoyance to her for ages, as have heteronyms (read Vs read etc), but the sheer madness of our vowel sounds has appalled her.

I'll take our larger vowel catalogue over stupid two gender or mass case systems any day thanks.

# ? Jan 16, 2021 16:33

Guavanaut: Nov 27, 2009; Looking At Them Tittys
1969 - 1998; Toilet Rascal

English has Sarah Ditum and the Guardian.

# ? Jan 16, 2021 16:45

Wachter: Mar 23, 2007; You and whose knees?

Darth Walrus posted:

https://twitter.com/enco123456/status/1349811267339431937?s=21

"Goya" is an extremely tech company name, or maybe a subscription-based vegan laxative

# ? Jan 16, 2021 16:46

Comrade Fakename: Feb 13, 2012

The big difference between forums like this and social media sites is scale of audience. Sites like Facebook and Twitter have the implicit wider goal of getting literally every single human being using their site, and the systems are set up to allow huge numbers. If SA had Facebook numbers using it (and the tech somehow managed okay) the forum would be completely unreadable.

It reminds me of this flash-in-the-pan social network from years ago that I think was called Path. It got a lot of buzz when it launched, with users talking about how refreshing and friendly things were on there. But this was because the only people using it were all the same 20-something hipsters and they didn�t have to put up with their racist gran also being on there. Suffice to say, Path didn�t last long.

# ? Jan 16, 2021 16:49

Red Oktober: May 24, 2006; wiggly eyes!

Wachter posted:

"Goya" is an extremely tech company name, or maybe a subscription-based vegan laxative

It's definitely a 'sustainable' business, and talks a lot about 'Mother Gaia' in its pitch materials.

# ? Jan 16, 2021 16:50

crepeface: Nov 5, 2004; r*p*f*c*

Wachter posted:

"Goya" is an extremely tech company name, or maybe a subscription-based vegan laxative

it's a brand of beans op

# ? Jan 16, 2021 16:59

Regarde Aduck: Oct 19, 2012; c l o u d k i t t e n; Grimey Drawer

Just Another Lurker posted:

I can hope for unification but the realist in me counsels strongly that i delay for decades so as not to trigger: ''The Troubles 2.0'', which would be coming from the other direction when compared to last time.... i wouldn't want to help set off that crap on people again.

They'd try. But the British rights descent into unintelligible idiocy isn't just metaphor. They're seriously impaired. It'd come down to if the intelligence services got involved again.

# ? Jan 16, 2021 17:09

Jose: Jul 24, 2007; Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer

An interesting thread on just how hosed things are if you're importing into the uk

https://twitter.com/DanielLambert29/status/1350367078662987777?s=19

# ? Jan 16, 2021 17:12

Communist Thoughts: Jan 7, 2008; Our war against free speech cannot end until we silence this bronze beast!

that rafael article lol, sorry if its already been posted but this is the first time i've clicked on a guardian article in a year and randomly scrolling turns up poo poo like this

quote:

It pained me, too, that there was no consolation in the party I had always supported. There had been antisemitism on the left before 2015, when Jeremy Corbyn became leader, but under him the party was more hospitable to the prejudice. Corbyn was a magnet for every ultra-left crank and fanatic whose fixation on the evils of �Zionism� shaded into conspiracy theories about Jews plotting behind the scenes, pulling the financial strings of a puppet government.

Observing that trend was grim enough, but the stressful part was writing about it amid a culture of indifference that permeated the wider British left. To criticise Corbyn in print was to invite a torrent of abuse online. His hardcore supporters said the charge of antisemitism was itself a devious plot against the leader, more evidence of the conspiracy. The more squeamish fellow-travellers agreed that the whole thing stank, but held their noses anyway and campaigned for Labour.

That complicity animated a pungent hereditary fear: no matter how rooted Jews felt in a country, a movement, a culture, one day there will come along a mob carrying tools to dig us up, telling us we don�t truly belong. It is the cautionary tale our grandparents told about keeping a suitcase packed and a passport close at hand. �At least we are finding out who would have hidden us in their attic,� one Jewish friend said to me. We laughed because it wasn�t even a joke.

i forget what the previous too-on-the-nose-to-be-satire article about kier was, but this one is amazing.
he has a congenital heart condition but its corbyns fault he scared himself so much imagining corbyn was hitler

# ? Jan 16, 2021 17:14

Antigravitas: Dec 8, 2019; Die Rettung fuer die Landwirte:

Jaeluni Asjil posted:

That book Weapons of Math Destruction is on my 'want to read' list (when I've got through my backlog of books).

It is a very good book.

Just sayin'

# ? Jan 16, 2021 17:15

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# ? May 25, 2024 05:53

Jose: Jul 24, 2007; Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer

lmao

https://twitter.com/MikeGapes/status/1350426830277378049?s=20

# ? Jan 16, 2021 17:16

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Debate & Discussion > UKMT January 2021 - i have no chin and i must chitterwagger

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