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I'm a straight dude and I've been curious about experimenting with butt stuff so I went and got a small toy and some lube and figured I'd wing it. The problem is my shower in my apartment is simply a stall shower, so it's not big enough to even sit down in, and I'm worried about lube just getting everywhere. Do you just throw a towel down and commit to doing a bunch of laundry whenever you want to try anal play? Lube is slippery poo poo and it gets everywhere, so I don't know how to both use it and also keep it under control.
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Jan 14, 2021 01:02
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Agent355 posted:I'm a straight dude and I've been curious about experimenting with butt stuff so I went and got a small toy and some lube and figured I'd wing it. do you have access to a holodeck?
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Jan 14, 2021 02:18
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Just lay a towel down on your bed and lie down on it?
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Jan 14, 2021 02:47
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You gotta get a whole bunch of those clear plastic sheets
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Jan 14, 2021 02:49
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Yes, it's like a lava lamp.
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simply don’t use lube, lube is for the weak you’re going to want your butthole to callus eventually by hook or by crook, or else you’re going to have difficulty with more interesting chord voicings
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Jan 14, 2021 02:50
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Ok Comboomer posted:simply don’t use lube, lube is for the weak Or use your tears. They are nature's lube.
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Jan 14, 2021 03:06
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Masonity posted:Or use your tears. They are nature's lube. I don't think i can cry directly onto my rear end in a top hat, do i need to like, use an eyedropper to collect them? This all sounds so complicated.
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Jan 14, 2021 03:35
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Agent355 posted:I don't think i can cry directly onto my rear end in a top hat, do i need to like, use an eyedropper to collect them? You don’t have a tear-collecting bowl? I’m surprised the people at the sex shop sold you a butt toy and didn’t at least ask if you wanted a tear-collecting bowl. Lelo makes some really nice flexible shatterproof ones out of a silicone similar to the stuff they wrap their toys in. You’re supposed to use the tear collecting bowl to catch all of your bitter tears and then you symbolically offer them up to Mother Hecate as penance/celebration for being a craven whore, before using the bowl’s special shape to ergonomically funnel them back into your torn and broken anus.
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Jan 14, 2021 04:21
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whydirt posted:Just lay a towel down on your bed and lie down on it? real talk tho this is probably the way to go about it. I'm a hip swinging bachelor so I only own one towel so I guess it's time to buy some spares.
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Jan 14, 2021 04:55
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Agent355 posted:real talk tho this is probably the way to go about it. I'm a hip swinging bachelor so I only own one towel so I guess it's time to buy some spares. "I am an adult now. I have two towels - one for showering and one covered in lube stains!"
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Jan 14, 2021 05:04
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KillHour posted:"I am an adult now. I have two towels - one for showering and one covered in lube stains!" You can tell real adults by their three towels: one for showering, one for butt stuff, one as relief pitcher for the lube towel.
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Jan 14, 2021 12:47
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broke: three seashells woke: three towels
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Jan 14, 2021 14:05
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Ok Comboomer posted:broke: three seashells Bespoke: three showers, one only for Butt Stuff
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Jan 14, 2021 14:16
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There are four
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Jan 14, 2021 14:22
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Imagine 4 towels on the edge of a bed. Butt stuff is kinda like that.
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Jan 14, 2021 15:05
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Ok Comboomer posted:You don’t have a tear-collecting bowl? I’m surprised the people at the sex shop sold you a butt toy and didn’t at least ask if you wanted a tear-collecting bowl. Lelo makes some really nice flexible shatterproof ones out of a silicone similar to the stuff they wrap their toys in. They should have sent a poe.................. actually you'll do just fine.
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Jan 14, 2021 15:55
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Johnny Truant posted:Coconut oil is the best lube
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Jan 14, 2021 16:14
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Cat Army 
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Bomrek posted:You can tell real adults by their three towels: one for showering, one for butt stuff, one as relief pitcher for the lube towel. This person has learned their lessons the hard way. Johnny Truant posted:Bespoke: three showers, one only for Butt Stuff No, it's 3 showers, 1 for showering, 1 for butt stuff and one as backup for the butt stuff. Follow the pattern, man!
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Jan 14, 2021 23:24
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KillHour posted:This person has learned their lessons the hard way. Bidet already got a butt shower!
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Jan 18, 2021 15:42
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DandyLion posted:Bidet already got a butt shower! I just got a news alert that Bidet’s public MLK Day schedule and Trump’s MLK Day schedule are strikingly different
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Jan 18, 2021 17:40
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Is there a good app anyone has used to record/modify voice and create a soundboard kind of thing for it? If, say, I wanted to record my voice, change it, and play it back with button presses?
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Jan 19, 2021 21:30
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Huxley posted:Is there a good app anyone has used to record/modify voice and create a soundboard kind of thing for it? If, say, I wanted to record my voice, change it, and play it back with button presses?  are you sure you’re in the right thread?
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Jan 19, 2021 21:47
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I hope they are, and I hope there's details.
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Jan 19, 2021 21:49
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https://youtu.be/ePrAxox-sq0 will this work
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Jan 19, 2021 21:53
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Ok Comboomer posted:
Oh yeah PittTheElder posted:I hope they are, and I hope there's details. I poked around looking for an "android app suggestion" thread or whatever, but didn't find one. Even if I had, I thought the question was so obviously sexual in nature I would have gotten chased out. The use I would think is obvious enough not to go too far into, and I was hoping this was a common idea with a proven solution. Maybe not!
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Jan 19, 2021 22:07
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...what makes you think what you posted is in any way obviously a sex thing?
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Jan 19, 2021 22:13
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Hyperlynx posted:...what makes you think what you posted is in any way obviously a sex thing? You've never recorded yourself talking dirty, tone shifted it so it sounds like someone else of the sex you are into, then soundboarded it while having some self time? Prude!
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Jan 19, 2021 22:24
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I did not think our idea was this far out there! e: Anyway, apologies for derailing. I'm sure there are better places online for me to research this. Carry on, sex thread. Huxley fucked around with this message at 22:45 on Jan 19, 2021 |
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Jan 19, 2021 22:27
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I think the point of confusion is more that your initial question wasn't obviously sexual in nature. Sure you can do all that stuff for sexy time things, but there are a whole lot of applications that don't, and your question just didn't really make it clear. That said, I don't have any actual advice to help out.
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Jan 19, 2021 22:52
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wait what's the thing, i'm confused do you play the distorted voice from a speaker inside your butt?
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Jan 20, 2021 03:07
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Johnny Truant posted:wait what's the thing, i'm confused oh my god. This is how I finally become a CatDog
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Jan 20, 2021 03:51
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Johnny Truant posted:wait what's the thing, i'm confused You ever seen the movie True Lies? That's basically the idea.
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Jan 20, 2021 03:54
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Look, I wanna gently caress my wife but in the darkness, and then I wanna have it sound like I’m loving another me, but like with different genitals and maybe a slightly different voice. Like I wanna be able to gently caress me as my wife, you know? Like girl-me. I wanna gently caress girl-me, but while I gently caress my wife. That’s why I need a soundboard, like one of those ‘morning zoo’ guys. I wanna be able to push a button when I cum and hear my wife say “good job, baby”, but with my voice. Why is that so hard to understand.
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Jan 20, 2021 04:03
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Huxley posted:You ever seen the movie True Lies? That's basically the idea. You want your wife to have an affair with a used car salesman?
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Jan 20, 2021 04:09
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Huxley posted:You ever seen the movie True Lies? That's basically the idea. Nope, never seen it. I'm falling back on butt speaker. Godspeed and have fun!
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Jan 20, 2021 04:14
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KillHour posted:You want your wife to have an affair with a used car salesman? I just wanna hang out with Tom Arnold. ☹️
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Jan 20, 2021 04:33
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Huxley posted:I just wanna hang out with Tom Arnold. ☹️ That's probably easier than getting goons to take your question seriously.
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Jan 20, 2021 05:21
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Ok Comboomer posted:Look, I wanna gently caress my wife but in the darkness, and then I wanna have it sound like I’m loving another me, but like with different genitals and maybe a slightly different voice. Like I wanna be able to gently caress me as my wife, you know? Like girl-me. I wanna gently caress girl-me, but while I gently caress my wife. That’s why I need a soundboard, like one of those ‘morning zoo’ guys. I wanna be able to push a button when I cum and hear my wife say “good job, baby”, but with my voice. Why is that so hard to understand. Literally 
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Jan 20, 2021 05:22
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I brought this on myself, and I suppose I deserve it.
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Jan 20, 2021 05:44
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Huxley posted:I brought this on myself, and I suppose I deserve it. Nah, I gotchu fam. https://www.amazon.com/ThinkMax-Changing-Recording-Microphone-Colorful/dp/B01N76O2E9/ It even has a flared base.  edit: quote:incredible fun from voice role play. 
KillHour fucked around with this message at 05:51 on Jan 20, 2021 |
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Jan 20, 2021 05:47
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