OSHA IV: NO SAFETY - SMOKING FIRST - The Something Awful Forums

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > OSHA IV: NO SAFETY - SMOKING FIRST

mrmcd: Feb 22, 2003; Pictured: The only good cop (a fictional one).

mostlygray posted:

The trick is to not screw up. Check the mounts. They're just hand tightened. Hand tight works fine, just go easy. If you lose the motor, unless you can snag it with an anchor and a fish finder, good luck. You'll fail, but you can try. I've seen it work once. That was in 14 feet of water. In 400 feet it's not happening. You never have retention a chain on it. It'll just pull off the mount and go down. If it doesn't pull off the mount, it'll swamp you over the stern and then you lose the boat too and you're sitting 15 miles out in cold rear end water. You have oars for a reason on light craft. You'll live that way.

Just don't lose the motor. Pay attention, keep an eye on it. Those motors are heavy as crap and they're hard to lose. If you're worried, about it, you can add additional support but, if you need it, you need to ease up on how you're piloting.

I was a dock boy for a summer. We lost one motor. It was the other dock boy that swamped the boat. It was literally the fault of the pelicans. They pecked him enough that he swamped the boat to get away from them. We did retain the motor and boat but the motor was running when it swamped so it hydro-locked. Broke the crack. Not repairable.

Moral of the story, screw pelicans. They bite. gulls bite too, but, oddly enough, pelicans hurt more when they bite you. Both really like fish guts and they won't wait. I used to hook the gunnel on the gut raft so that I wouldn't swamp while getting bit. The other guy didn't. He ended up in the water with fish guts and had to swim back 300 yards, get a different boat, and tow back the dock boat that was swamped with a ruined engine.

Boss was cool about it. It was a $500 motor but we just made a joke about it. He was always cool when you screwed up. He was a good man. I hope he's still around. I haven't talked to him in over 20 years. He'd be about 80 now.

Sir, did you want the McMuffin breakfast combo, or ... ?

# ? Jan 20, 2021 21:43

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# ? Jun 4, 2024 09:38

ultrafilter: Aug 23, 2007; It's okay if you have any questions.

# ? Jan 20, 2021 22:07

Phanatic: Mar 13, 2007; Please don't forget that I am an extremely racist idiot who also has terrible opinions about the Culture series.

ultrafilter posted:

You left some streaks, Mr. Anderson.

# ? Jan 20, 2021 22:08

Phuzun: Jul 4, 2007

Cartoon Man posted:

https://i.imgur.com/wn018kp.mp4

This isn't the #blessed thread.

# ? Jan 20, 2021 22:41

Memento: Aug 25, 2009; Bleak Gremlin

https://giant.gfycat.com/AgitatedJoyousAustraliankelpie.mp4

# ? Jan 20, 2021 23:06

Empty Sandwich: Apr 22, 2008; goatse mugs

WorldsStongestNerd posted:

Years and years ago I was getting life guard certified at a boy scout camp. The instructor lost his glasses in about 15ft of muddy lake water with 0 visibility.

I would swim to the bottom, let my breath out, then lay down and make a mud angel on the lake floor. Then I'd scoot my rear end over and repeat until I had to come up for air. On the second trip my leg brushed against the glasses and was able to retrieve them.

I've also found an ancient outboard somebody lost will rooting around by a dock. Had to swim down and attach a rope to haul it up.

my brother dropped a brand-new pair of Oakleys into a marsh at high tide. it was only about 6' of water, so I just went hand-over-hand along the side dock until I got to where I could dive for them.

bonus: I was not shredded by the various oysters

# ? Jan 20, 2021 23:06

the fart question: Mar 21, 2007; College Slice

https://twitter.com/brisk_god/status/1352020042150457349?s=21

# ? Jan 20, 2021 23:41

ekuNNN: Nov 27, 2004; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

# ? Jan 21, 2021 00:04

sigher: Apr 22, 2008; My guiding Moonlight...

Cartoon Man posted:

https://i.imgur.com/wn018kp.mp4

This is some of the hardest poo poo I've ever seen, those feet are unstoppable.

# ? Jan 21, 2021 00:43

-Zydeco-: Nov 12, 2007

https://twitter.com/memecrashes/status/1351861610164473856

# ? Jan 21, 2021 01:24

The Bloop: Jul 5, 2004; by Fluffdaddy

ekuNNN posted:

this putt putt course looks uninspired

# ? Jan 21, 2021 01:25

Doctor Zaius: Jul 30, 2010; I say.

Scratch Monkey posted:

https://i.imgur.com/yqUSOEI.mp4

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yewGzjGpv5g

# ? Jan 21, 2021 01:41

Bad Munki: Nov 4, 2008; We're all mad here.

# ? Jan 21, 2021 01:58

ekuNNN: Nov 27, 2004; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

https://va.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_qn95ljcPLt1r0uzl6.mp4

https://va.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_qn94lt5PVb1r0uzl6.mp4

# ? Jan 21, 2021 02:24

Memento: Aug 25, 2009; Bleak Gremlin

ekuNNN posted:

https://va.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_qn95ljcPLt1r0uzl6.mp4

I guess Aquaman couldn't get the financing together in time? Oh well.

# ? Jan 21, 2021 02:34

Cartoon Man: Jan 31, 2004

# ? Jan 21, 2021 02:45

Bad Munki: Nov 4, 2008; We're all mad here.

ekuNNN posted:

https://va.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_qn95ljcPLt1r0uzl6.mp4

Liquidation sale, everything goes

# ? Jan 21, 2021 02:54

Blue On Blue: Nov 14, 2012

Cartoon Man posted:

imagine reporting a fire right next to the call box

ooof

although it makes me also wonder how many pick pockets simply lit a fire down the alley and then waited by the callbox

# ? Jan 21, 2021 03:04

Memento: Aug 25, 2009; Bleak Gremlin

Cartoon Man posted:

The thing detached and stayed on your arm, but you could still run away. It was just so they could know who made the call after it was put out.

# ? Jan 21, 2021 03:27

Cartoon Man: Jan 31, 2004

I prefer to think that somebody must sacrifice themselves to the fire in order to call for help.

# ? Jan 21, 2021 03:43

WarpedNaba: Feb 8, 2012; Being social makes me swell!

Cartoon Man posted:

I prefer to think that somebody must sacrifice themselves to the fire in order to call for help.

"Come unto your baker."

# ? Jan 21, 2021 03:54

Platystemon: Feb 13, 2012; BREADS

Scratch Monkey posted:

https://i.imgur.com/yqUSOEI.mp4

STRAYA

# ? Jan 21, 2021 05:42

KoRMaK: Jul 31, 2012

Bad Munki posted:

the clamps don't address the forces in the direction I'm concerned with!

# ? Jan 21, 2021 08:07

Memento: Aug 25, 2009; Bleak Gremlin

https://i.imgur.com/njM9pY7.mp4

"hey did you put slashes through the plastic so it wouldn't act as a massive sail?"

"no, I thought you were going to do that"

# ? Jan 21, 2021 08:41

Melondog: Oct 9, 2006

Memento posted:

https://i.imgur.com/njM9pY7.mp4

"hey did you put slashes through the plastic so it wouldn't act as a massive sail?"

"no, I thought you were going to do that"

The Crimson Permanent Assurance?

# ? Jan 21, 2021 08:44

WarpedNaba: Feb 8, 2012; Being social makes me swell!

That poor car

# ? Jan 21, 2021 09:55

Pistol_Pete: Sep 15, 2007; Oven Wrangler

I'm not sure I'd have been standing so close.

# ? Jan 21, 2021 13:25

Cartoon Man: Jan 31, 2004

https://i.imgur.com/IWSDHgD.gifv

# ? Jan 21, 2021 14:47

Cartoon Man: Jan 31, 2004

https://i.imgur.com/pNi27t7.gifv

# ? Jan 21, 2021 16:04

Cojawfee: May 31, 2006; I think the US is dumb for not using Celsius

Lol you got me

# ? Jan 21, 2021 16:09

Empty Sandwich: Apr 22, 2008; goatse mugs

Cartoon Man posted:

https://i.imgur.com/pNi27t7.gifv

# ? Jan 21, 2021 17:35

EasilyConfused: Nov 21, 2009; one strong toad

That dude rules

# ? Jan 21, 2021 18:48

ekuNNN: Nov 27, 2004; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

# ? Jan 21, 2021 19:50

Rascar Capac: Aug 31, 2016; Surprisingly nice, for an evil Inca mummy.

ekuNNN posted:

A friend of mine discovered that cheese slice, and took the photo.

# ? Jan 21, 2021 20:02

old bean factory: Nov 18, 2006; Will ya close the fucking doors?!

I didn't know those things could even go bad.

# ? Jan 21, 2021 20:20

Phanatic: Mar 13, 2007; Please don't forget that I am an extremely racist idiot who also has terrible opinions about the Culture series.

Homer have you been up all night reading books?

# ? Jan 21, 2021 20:28

Nocheez: Sep 5, 2000; Can you spare a little cheddar?; Nap Ghost

ekuNNN posted:

I will not comment on this, though I'm sure you already know my opinions.

# ? Jan 21, 2021 20:41

ekuNNN: Nov 27, 2004; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Rascar Capac posted:

A friend of mine discovered that cheese slice, and took the photo.

its a small world :sun:

https://va.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_qnaq808pQN1r0uzl6.mp4

# ? Jan 21, 2021 21:25

Whooping Crabs: Apr 13, 2010; Sorry for the derail but I fuckin love me some racoons

ekuNNN posted:

It's not a bookmark, it's a page

# ? Jan 21, 2021 21:25

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# ? Jun 4, 2024 09:38

The Real Amethyst: Apr 20, 2018; When no one was looking, Serval took forty Japari buns. She took 40 buns. That's as many as four tens. And that's terrible.

# ? Jan 21, 2021 23:32

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