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Bird in a Blender
Nov 17, 2005

It's amazing what they can do with computers these days.

Easterby: What if we took negging and applied it to millionaire athletes?

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Nissin Cup Nudist
Sep 3, 2011

Sleep with one eye open

We're off to Gritty Gritty land




Ehud posted:

He isn't going to change his mind and they're in desperate need of draft assets. This is their opportunity to reset the franchise with multiple first rounders in the next couple of drafts. They could come away with multiple firsts starting this year because of the Jets and Dolphins, including either the 2nd or 3rd pick of the draft.

I can't see how keeping him on the roster benefits them at all.

Jack Easterby is the kinda guy that would bench Watson soley out of spite

fsif
Jul 18, 2003

Nissin Cup Nudist posted:

Jack Easterby is the kinda guy that would bench Watson soley out of spite

Getting really into the idea of Easterby denying Watson's trade request to send a message about Deshaun's life choices.

Nodoze
Aug 17, 2006

If it's only for a night I can live without you
Gonna laugh if they end up refusing to trade him out of spite and he refuses to show up out of spite

Impossibly Perfect Sphere
Nov 6, 2002

They wasted Luanne on Lucky!

She could of have been so much more but the writers just didn't care!

fsif posted:

Getting really into the idea of Easterby denying Watson's trade request to send a message about Deshaun's life choices.

I asked Deshawn, if he was plaaaying fooootball in his spare time, he said yeh, and then I asked him if he was plaaaying with quarterbacks that were better than him. He told me he didn't know how he'd do that. That tells me right there, that Watson is not chooooosing to be the best veeersion of himself he can be. He's not completely committed to playing the football game.

Ches Neckbeard
Dec 3, 2005

You're all garbage, back up the truck BACK IT UP!

Nodoze posted:

Gonna laugh if they end up refusing to trade him out of spite and he refuses to show up out of spite

Best option is he shows up and plays like garbage on purpose to tank his trade value.

Eifert Posting
Apr 1, 2007

Most of the time he catches it every time.
Grimey Drawer
1st and 10 Houston 25 14:52 Q1
Watson kneels

2nd and 13 Houston 22 14:27 Q1
Watson kneels

3rd and 16 Houston 19 13:50 Q1
Watson kneels

Flag: unsportsmanlike conduct Watson, vulgar gesture at luxory boxes. 15 yards

tarbrush
Feb 7, 2011

ALL ABOARD THE SCOTLAND HYPE TRAIN!

CHOO CHOO
https://twitter.com/drawplaydave/status/1355205175086997511?s=21

Febreze continues to own

AndrewP
Apr 21, 2010

tarbrush posted:

Febreze continues to own

can't believe he bigtimed us and quit TFF

mcmagic
Jul 1, 2004

If you see this avatar while scrolling the succ zone, you have been visited by the mcmagic of shitty lib takes! Good luck and prosperity will come to you, but only if you reply "shut the fuck up mcmagic" to this post!
LOL McNair gave a 30 second statement and isn't taking questions.

FUCKFACE MORON
Apr 23, 2010

by sebmojo

AndrewP posted:

can't believe he bigtimed us and quit TFF
I've seen him still post in here on occasion

dirty shrimp money
Jan 8, 2001

mcmagic posted:

LOL McNair gave a 30 second statement and isn't taking questions.

I mean there's been exactly one time where he hasn't just dropped a prepared statement and ran, and that was that shitshow of a press conference when Caserio was introduced

Grittybeard
Mar 29, 2010

Bad, very bad!

dirty shrimp money posted:

I mean there's been exactly one time where he hasn't just dropped a prepared statement and ran, and that was that shitshow of a press conference when Caserio was introduced

Unless he says or does something dumb enough for the NFL to take the team away (ain't happening)...Well my gut feeling is it's better for everyone in the world the less we hear him say and the more prepared his statements are.

General Dog
Apr 26, 2008

Everybody's working for the weekend

Joke's going to be on Lamar when he gets traded to the Texans for Deshaun Watson.

The Puppy Bowl
Jan 31, 2013

A dog, in the house.

*woof*

Nissin Cup Nudist posted:

Jack Easterby is the kinda guy that would bench Watson soley out of spite

This feels inevitable.

AsInHowe
Jan 11, 2007

red winged angel

zoux posted:

https://twitter.com/riversmccown/status/1347367860029566977

Some people lasted for days. Six hours is 5 carries for 21 yards.

As a Christian, THAT ANALOGY DOESN'T EVEN MAKE SENSE.

pasaluki
Feb 27, 2008

THIS WHAGON HAS NO BREAKS! I HAVE THE HEART OF THE BUUFALO the strength OF THE MOUNTAIN, THE FURY OF THE THUNDER AND MY WILL IS UNBREAKABLE! I will not surrender to KNOW ONE

AsInHowe posted:

As a Christian, THAT ANALOGY DOESN'T EVEN MAKE SENSE.

Are you saying that a game in which a pigskin is festively tossed around doesnt have parallells with Jesus being crucified?

General Dog
Apr 26, 2008

Everybody's working for the weekend
Jesus cried "Coach, Coach, why hast thou forsaken Me?" and threw in the towel.

Pershing
Feb 21, 2010

John "Black Jack" Pershing
Hard Fucking Core

General Dog posted:

Jesus cried "Coach, Coach, why hast thou forsaken Me?" and threw in the towel.

Coach Pilate replied "you kept getting nailed on crossing routes"

pasaluki
Feb 27, 2008

THIS WHAGON HAS NO BREAKS! I HAVE THE HEART OF THE BUUFALO the strength OF THE MOUNTAIN, THE FURY OF THE THUNDER AND MY WILL IS UNBREAKABLE! I will not surrender to KNOW ONE
6 hours?! How many commercial breaks do they need?

pasaluki
Feb 27, 2008

THIS WHAGON HAS NO BREAKS! I HAVE THE HEART OF THE BUUFALO the strength OF THE MOUNTAIN, THE FURY OF THE THUNDER AND MY WILL IS UNBREAKABLE! I will not surrender to KNOW ONE

Pershing posted:

Coach Pilate replied "you kept getting nailed on crossing routes"

Jesus runs comeback routes even better than Michael Thomas runs slants.

forkboy84
Jun 13, 2012

Corgis love bread. And Puro


AsInHowe posted:

As a Christian, THAT ANALOGY DOESN'T EVEN MAKE SENSE.

I'm a big fan of "when I'm asked what the greatest game I've ever seen is I respond by talking about something I never saw and that isn't a game". Way to trivialise god sacrificing his only son who is also part of him but not.

Answer the bloody question Jack, I want to know what the greatest game you've seen is.

Magicpants
Sep 15, 2011


Certified Poster
you don't understand, jesus dying was so great that it's greater than everything else, even things that are categorically different. jesus dying was the the greatest game of all time because jesus was so great at dying that his dying became a better game than things which actually qualify as games.

so for the same reason, jesus dying is also the greatest invention of all time.
jesus dying is the greatest 80s hair metal power ballad.
jesus dying is the greatest slice of pizza in queens.
etc.

Magicpants fucked around with this message at 00:04 on Jan 30, 2021

Quiet Feet
Dec 14, 2009

THE HELL IS WITH THIS ASS!?





Magicpants posted:

you don't understand, jesus dying was so great that it's greater than everything else, even things that are categorically different. jesus dying was the the greatest game of all time because jesus was so great at dying that his dying became a better game than things which actually qualify as games.

so for the same reason, jesus dying is also the greatest invention of all time.
jesus dying is the greatest 80s hair metal power ballad.
jesus dying is the greatest slice of pizza in queens.
etc.

Maybe the real Jesus dying was the friends we made along the way

sean10mm
Jun 29, 2005

It's a Mad, Mad, Mad, MAD-2R World
They hired the most worthless hanger-on to Belichick's coattails yet and kept giving the huckster more power lmao

It makes Broncos Head Coach Josh McDaniels look like Paul loving Brown hahaha

Just how do you do this?

Shimrra Jamaane
Aug 10, 2007

Obscure to all except those well-versed in Yuuzhan Vong lore.

sean10mm posted:

They hired the most worthless hanger-on to Belichick's coattails yet and kept giving the huckster more power lmao

It makes Broncos Head Coach Josh McDaniels look like Paul loving Brown hahaha

Just how do you do this?

Easterby doesn’t seem to be a Belichick hanger on. He seems to be his own crazy creation that apparently Belichick was happy to see leave.

SKULL.GIF
Jan 20, 2017


Huh. A Patriots fan squirming into here to try to rewrite history?

"Patriots livid over Easterman joining Texans," "Totally pissed them off" https://www.bostonsportsjournal.com/2019/06/18/bedard-patriots-burning-mad-jack-easterby-texans/

"You don't know JACK -- The most influential Patriot you've never heard of"

quote:

To an outsider, they would seem an odd couple – the phlegmatic Bill Belichick and the effervescent Easterby. Yet ever since their initial conversation in 2013, when Belichick phoned Easterby out of the blue, they hit it off.

At the time, Easterby served as team chaplain for the Kansas City Chiefs, where he worked alongside people with New England ties to Belichick: Romeo Crennel, Scott Pioli, Brian Daboll, to name a handful. Though he'd heard plenty of stories about Belichick, Easterby had never met or spoken to him until the phone rang that day.

"He told me how important it was to him to grow people in the building," Easterby recalls. "Every time I've ever talked with Coach, he's been authentic, honest, straightforward, encouraging to me. He backs what we do, our subprogram within the big [football] program. He's been awesome. Coach is so committed to growing people. He grows us all every day in so many ways. I feel I serve him by making [the players] the best people we can make them."

"Patriots thankful for their time with Easterby"

quote:

The subject of Easterby has come up this week with the Patriots' upcoming matchup in Houston. This week, head coach Bill Belichick said his organization was grateful to have Easterby and lucky to have great leadership in the locker room to keep the ship afloat when the character coach left.

“After Jack was here for six years, you don’t replace Jack with one person,” Belichick said. “But we were very fortunate to have a lot of great players and players with leadership and with some of those skills of bringing players, teammates, families together and being good mentors and setting good examples and building a good team chemistry. So, yeah, we’ve been very fortunate to have that. ... We’re very fortunate to have the strength and quality of the players that we have on our team and in our organization.”

quote:

“He was really good for our football team, for the organization,” Belichick said this week. “He did everything I asked him to do and he had a good interaction, relationship with everybody in our building, from the support people, to the players, to the coaching staff and so forth. I learned a lot from Jack. I think we learned a lot from each other and we went through a lot together. So, he had a good, positive impact on our football team and on the organization.”

Boy they sure seemed to hate the guy!

Nodoze
Aug 17, 2006

If it's only for a night I can live without you

He has since burned every bridge there and salted the earth. The Patriots don't release the hounds on people on the way out like the Red Sox do, but everyone who wasn't saying anything about him is now

CharlestheHammer
Jun 26, 2011

YOU SAY MY POSTS ARE THE RAVINGS OF THE DUMBEST PERSON ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH BUT YOU YOURSELF ARE READING THEM. CURIOUS!
Well I mean him burning the bridge is quite a bit different than trying to pretend Bill was completely against the guy who turned out to be insane

Shimrra Jamaane
Aug 10, 2007

Obscure to all except those well-versed in Yuuzhan Vong lore.
Oh well I was completely wrong on this. Sorry.

Docjowles
Apr 9, 2009

Another angle to this story I appreciate is that “Jack Easterby” is exactly what this guy’s name would be if he were a character on a TV sports drama.

fast cars loose anus
Mar 2, 2007

Pillbug
yeah like the holiday celebrating Jesus rising from the grave is literally in his name, its absurdly on the nose and frankly I wish the writers would use a modicum of creativity if my team is gonna be the season's joke storyline

Hunt11
Jul 24, 2013

Grimey Drawer

fast cars loose anus posted:

yeah like the holiday celebrating Jesus rising from the grave is literally in his name, its absurdly on the nose and frankly I wish the writers would use a modicum of creativity if my team is gonna be the season's joke storyline

You would be lucky if the Texans are the punchline for just this season.

Eifert Posting
Apr 1, 2007

Most of the time he catches it every time.
Grimey Drawer
Fundies love talking about the crucifiction because Jesus was a leftie.

Shimrra Jamaane
Aug 10, 2007

Obscure to all except those well-versed in Yuuzhan Vong lore.
Why is he in the NFL and not running a megachurch? Is that industry too crowded?

YOLOsubmarine
Oct 19, 2004

When asked which Pokemon he evolved into, Kamara pauses.

"Motherfucking, what's that big dragon shit? That orange motherfucker. Charizard."

Shimrra Jamaane posted:

Why is he in the NFL and not running a megachurch? Is that industry too crowded?

Lacks the charisma to fool anyone other than the richest and dumbest of people.

dirty shrimp money
Jan 8, 2001

Shimrra Jamaane posted:

Why is he in the NFL and not running a megachurch? Is that industry too crowded?

He's in charge of the largest church in Houston

Alexander Hamilton
Dec 29, 2008

Easterby posted:

turning a big dial taht says "Black coaches" on it and constantly looking back at Watson for approval like a contestant on the price is righ

Declan MacManus
Sep 1, 2011

damn i'm really in this bitch


lmao

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Eifert Posting
Apr 1, 2007

Most of the time he catches it every time.
Grimey Drawer
Imo this is an opportunity to do some 80s football movie level rear end-hattery.

"If I'm not traded by week 1 of camp I post my playbook on social media."

"The GM's office is now my personal garbage can"

Etc

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