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life is killing me
Oct 28, 2007

femcastra posted:

It will get better. The fact that you’re seeking help is a great start.

I feel like I’m reading my own thoughts from a couple of weeks ago. I had regular night wakes from both because my almost 3 year old had/has bronchitis and was refusing any pain relief and my 8 month old was teething and refusing feeds. I also have a broken ankle. I honestly couldn’t see a light at the end of the tunnel, and felt like I was in sludge. Cried a lot.

Didn’t want to, couldn’t really do anything despite being the primary caregiver of these two.

Meds will help. So will letting yourself get frozen pizzas for dinner and letting the housework go for a little while. Watch tv for a bit with the toddler, it doesn’t matter, it’s a phase.

Be kind to yourself, keep talking to your wife, and take a deep breath before you interact with the toddler if things are tough.

Thanks for the encouraging words. The hardest parts have been feeling hopeless and not understood, like around other parents in person I couldn’t voice how low and frustrated I feel. To have literally anyone acknowledge that they’ve been there too and if not that they get it, at least that it’s okay, goes a long way. I’m so afraid I’m gonna damage my kids the way my dad damaged me. I think that’s where a lot of the guilt and self-talk comes from—I don’t wanna parent the way my dad did and still tries to.

I don’t wanna bring the thread down, just wanted to acknowledge to strangers on the internet I’ve been in a really low place for awhile and am just becoming aware of it.

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Lead out in cuffs
Sep 18, 2012

"That's right. We've evolved."

"I can see that. Cool mutations."




life is killing me posted:

Thanks for the encouraging words. The hardest parts have been feeling hopeless and not understood, like around other parents in person I couldn’t voice how low and frustrated I feel. To have literally anyone acknowledge that they’ve been there too and if not that they get it, at least that it’s okay, goes a long way. I’m so afraid I’m gonna damage my kids the way my dad damaged me. I think that’s where a lot of the guilt and self-talk comes from—I don’t wanna parent the way my dad did and still tries to.

I don’t wanna bring the thread down, just wanted to acknowledge to strangers on the internet I’ve been in a really low place for awhile and am just becoming aware of it.

Yeah depression is super real, and it's good that you're getting support. Also if there was ever a time to be trying out antidepressants, this sounds like it.

I'd add that I think your wife is doing the right thing by keeping a log of your son's waking. I know from experience that depression makes it really easy for memory to get selective towards the side of catastrophising. Having a hard log can help mitigate that.

And it's also great that you're aware of your parents' stuff and working to not repeat that.

One thing I will say though: kids pick up on their parents' feelings. If you haven't talked to your kid about your depression, you probably should (in a super basic way, being as he's a toddler). There are a bunch of resources with advice on how to do this:

https://www.camh.ca/en/health-info/guides-and-publications/when-a-parent-is-depressed
https://www.healthline.com/health/mdd/taking-to-your-kids
https://www.canr.msu.edu/news/explaining_your_anxiety_or_depression_to_your_child

Also, you are definitely not bringing the thread down! People should talk about their mental health.

Hadlock
Nov 9, 2004

Yeah not to discount other parents experiences in previous years, but the last year has been an exceptionally hard year to do a pregnancy/raise children compared to recent years. It's entirely normal, expected, probably, to be a bit manic, depressed, or otherwise off. Not only do you get a pass for being a parent, you get a pass for being a parent during covid. This year has been brutal for a lot of people

meanolmrcloud
Apr 5, 2004

rock out with your stock out

My 6 week postpartum wife broke down into sobbing because she ate more of a cut up apple than I did, and felt bad about it. Hormones are no joke.

L0cke17
Nov 29, 2013

My son absolutely loves wrappers that crinkle. More than any other toy or thing in the world. He loves them.

Anyways, so I was eating a breakfast bar in bed and he heard the crinkling and DEMANDED the wrapper. Like reached up and just ripped it off the bar in my hand and took it. When I went to bed last night my pillow was crinkling and apparently he had hidden the wrapper deep inside my pillowcase somehow without me noticing.

Also little fatso has hit yet another growth spurt but this time it's just his arms and legs so his torso fits the 1 year onesies/pajamas still (he's not even 9 months old yet) but his sleeves end halfway down his forearms. How does that even work??

life is killing me
Oct 28, 2007

Yeah starting to think we have a legit sleep problem on our hands. My wife was just in his room for 1.5h, AND ALL HE DID WAS DOZE FOR A COUPLE OF MINUTES. This was after yet another bout of running to our room. Maybe my depressed brain is overthinking it but even my wife acknowledges this has been a lot of waking up and refusing to go back to sleep and he won’t leave us alone if we try to leave so one of us must basically live in his room. I’m in here now on the floor because I loving expect he won’t let me leave or will come back in to our room at some point if I try to sleep in my own bed

Legit thinking we need to see his doctor about this or buy some melatonin (even though that apparently only helps him fall asleep, not stay asleep. Our problems are staying asleep).

Koivunen
Oct 7, 2011

there's definitely no logic
to human behaviour

life is killing me posted:

Legit thinking we need to see his doctor about this or buy some melatonin (even though that apparently only helps him fall asleep, not stay asleep. Our problems are staying asleep).

Don’t feel bad about giving your kid medication or supplements to try to help their sleep. Sleep problems suck for parents, but aren’t fun for the kid either.

I’ve given my kid some Zarbees night time cough medicine when I knew it was going to be rough to get her to sleep, and she responds well to it.

life is killing me
Oct 28, 2007

Koivunen posted:

Don’t feel bad about giving your kid medication or supplements to try to help their sleep. Sleep problems suck for parents, but aren’t fun for the kid either.

I’ve given my kid some Zarbees night time cough medicine when I knew it was going to be rough to get her to sleep, and she responds well to it.

I think we gave him Tylenol this time, so hoping I can go back in and sleep in my own bed because I made some noise accidentally and he didn’t stir, but about fifteen minutes ago he fussed loudly in his sleep so I don’t know.

Tylenol isn’t great long-term for him, so we will have to figure something out. I guess I’m punishing myself right now by staying in here because my wife just did for 90 minutes so now I feel like I have to stay in here at least that long

BadSamaritan
May 2, 2008

crumb by crumb in this big black forest


The toddler has started dismissing things like ‘don’t climb on the table’ with ‘yeah yeah yeah yeah’ and it’s really hard to not laugh at despite myself. Obviously I don’t want to encourage it, but I’m too tired to keep a serious face. I’m doing my best, kid, please.

Diva Cupcake
Aug 15, 2005

The past few weeks have been a bit rough with parental depression and anxiety and it was clearly affecting our 3 year old son's mood as well.

We tried helping him understand different types of emotions and what can cause them. We bought a box set of books to help since he loves to read https://www.amazon.com/Little-SPOT-Emotion-Box-Books/dp/1951287134 but lo and behold, it looks like it's made the situation worse.

He's always been a procrastinator when it comes to bed time but he's never actively told us to stay with him because he's scared or worried. We're now spending 2-3 hours sitting next to him in his bed until we can negotiate something like leaving this door open. We haven't tried melatonin or a Zarbee's yet although its been discussed. This is just all having a compounding effect that doesn't do anyone any good.

This isn't really giving or asking advice but poo poo is hard right now and its having an effect.

life is killing me
Oct 28, 2007

Diva Cupcake posted:

The past few weeks have been a bit rough with parental depression and anxiety and it was clearly affecting our 3 year old son's mood as well.

We tried helping him understand different types of emotions and what can cause them. We bought a box set of books to help since he loves to read https://www.amazon.com/Little-SPOT-Emotion-Box-Books/dp/1951287134 but lo and behold, it looks like it's made the situation worse.

He's always been a procrastinator when it comes to bed time but he's never actively told us to stay with him because he's scared or worried. We're now spending 2-3 hours sitting next to him in his bed until we can negotiate something like leaving this door open. We haven't tried melatonin or a Zarbee's yet although its been discussed. This is just all having a compounding effect that doesn't do anyone any good.

This isn't really giving or asking advice but poo poo is hard right now and its having an effect.

Yep I’m there with you.

We thought we’d left behind sitting with him for hours so he’d sleep, and it’s back. It seems he’s having a nightmare or finding another reason not to stay in bed several nights a week. We had a bribery system to keep him in bed but he no longer seems to adhere to it, but will still ask for a sticker. We just bought a red/green light so he knows when he can get out of bed, here’s to hoping such a stubborn kid will actually give a poo poo and not get out anyway.

Feel your pain...up to and including depression and anxiety

nachos
Jun 27, 2004

Wario Chalmers! WAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
As a new parent I’m now frequently reminded of my own parents and their constant “you have no idea what we sacrificed for you” guilt tripping. I really empathize but at the same time I refuse to be the same shithead to my own kid when they get older. It’s hard not to feel bitter though. The mental stress and anxiety really is something else.

life is killing me
Oct 28, 2007

nachos posted:

As a new parent I’m now frequently reminded of my own parents and their constant “you have no idea what we sacrificed for you” guilt tripping. I really empathize but at the same time I refuse to be the same shithead to my own kid when they get older. It’s hard not to feel bitter though. The mental stress and anxiety really is something else.

My dad can’t get over what a poo poo head he says I was in high school. I’m 36 and he still tries making fun of me for stuff like leaving a pizza box under the bed when I was 15, or like some normal teenager poo poo. How rebellious I was and lazy and disrespectful, then would lecture me on my grades as if his authoritarianism would make the divorce go away and my grades skyrocket or something. Like dad, it’s not even funny. You need new material, this poo poo is just getting old.

I love my dad but hosed if he’s not half the reason I go to counseling

Koivunen
Oct 7, 2011

there's definitely no logic
to human behaviour
Yeah Tylenol isn’t a great medication to give ona regular basis if your kid doesn’t need it, but giving some melatonin is so not a big deal. It’s a supplement, you can’t get your kid hooked on it, and if you get it in a natural-branded form, there’s nothing “mediciney” in there. Giving children’s Benadryl every once in a while is better than Tylenol if you have a choice. Not saying don’t give Tylenol, because little kids are always growing or having a tooth come in or something, and sometimes Tylenol works like a charm, but it’s not good to overdo it.

I like Zarbees night time cough because my daughter seems to always have a lingering cough, especially since it’s winter and cold. I think it’s Ivy extract and melatonin? I use it once a month or so when she’s still pumped up late into the evening and by the time bath is over she’s ready to snuggle in.

DON’T FEEL BAD ABOUT USING MEDICINE OR SUPPLEMENTS TO HELP YOUR CHILD SLEEP BETTER AND TO SAVE YOUR SANITY!!!! This stuff exists for a reason, it is a tool for you to use every once in a while. And don’t feel bad if you’re struggling with parenting right now, this past year has been incredibly difficult. If you need meds too , that’s what they’re there for. Sometimes you don’t realize how depressed and anxious you actually are until you’ve been on a medication and have gotten some sleep for a while.

life is killing me
Oct 28, 2007

Kid is being a poo poo head. Didn’t get his way so he’s been crying and having a tantrum for 30 minutes after being told not to do something and attempting to do it probably ten times but being physically blocked from doing so. If I put him down he’s like a moth to a flame, he’s not listening to a goddamn thing anyone says

Yikes. Bad nights turn into bad days turn into bad nights.

davebo
Nov 15, 2006

Parallel lines do meet, but they do it incognito
College Slice

nachos posted:

As a new parent I’m now frequently reminded of my own parents and their constant “you have no idea what we sacrificed for you” guilt tripping. I really empathize but at the same time I refuse to be the same shithead to my own kid when they get older. It’s hard not to feel bitter though. The mental stress and anxiety really is something else.

I'd like to think I was always appreciative of the sacrifices made, but at the same time no one ever asked to be born. People have kids because they want kids so don't let them make you feel bad because it wasn't a cakewalk for them. Of course that swings both ways since we're all parents now.
In terms of guilt tripping, my dad slipped a disc lifting me out of the bathtub when I was 3 which gets mentioned every year or two and hoo boy am I careful to the point of paranoia every single time I lift him up at 1.5y, and he's only getting heavier.

space uncle
Sep 17, 2006

"I don’t care if Biden beats Trump. I’m not offloading responsibility. If enough people feel similar to me, such as the large population of Muslim people in Dearborn, Michigan. Then he won’t"


My wife had to get carpal tunnel surgery on her right hand and is now going back for carpal/cubital tunnel on her left arm. Good thing I’ve got some parental leave coming up so I can take care of both of them.

I was kind of losing it for a while there, just trying to plow through everything. Taking care of a 1 month old newborn and a diabetic wife who can’t use her hands well was a lot of work (and is still a lot, but getting better)

1. Baby crying - need to warm bottles
2. Wife’s blood sugar alarm goes off, get her juice
3. poo poo bottle overheated
4. Change baby
5. Wife needs painkillers for horrible nerve pain
6. Feed baby
7. Wife trying to breastfeed - can’t lift baby
8. Blood sugar alarm
9. Baby crying
10. Try to get WFH job done without it being obvious that I’m leaving every 6 minutes to troubleshoot some crisis
11. Baby pooped
12. Blood sugar alarm
13. Make dinner
14. Baby crying
15. Take out the trash
16. Feed the dogs
17. Go to bed at 1AM now that baby is asleep.
18. Wake up at 3AM to change baby
19. Wake up at 5AM to feed baby
20. Wake up at 7AM - blood sugar alarm

My god, things are finally getting better as we get the sugars under control with breast milk production and as the baby gets older and sleeps longer. We got a swing so I can finally put him somewhere where he won’t wake up and cry. My wife’s right hand is getting back to normal. But what a loving month. Picked up some mild alcoholism so now I’m taking a break from drinking two beers every single week night to chill out, which wasn’t going to be sustainable.

majestic12
Sep 2, 2003

Pete likes coffee

life is killing me posted:

Kid is being a poo poo head. Didn’t get his way so he’s been crying and having a tantrum for 30 minutes after being told not to do something and attempting to do it probably ten times but being physically blocked from doing so. If I put him down he’s like a moth to a flame, he’s not listening to a goddamn thing anyone says

Yikes. Bad nights turn into bad days turn into bad nights.

It’s a bad cycle for sure. Your kid is three right? We’ve put our three year old in her room by herself for a bit before she she’s having a tantrum. It’s a bit different than ‘go to your room’ because it only lasts as long as she’s screaming. Then we go in and talk calmly, and if she starts yelling again we just walk out again. In our case, trying to address a tantrum any other way just adds energy to the storm so the only thing to do is deny her the audience. The first time took about 20 minutes, but every time after that was a lot shorter.

Hope you’re able to get some good naps in. It’s been helpful for me to remember that they always go to sleep eventually.

My wife’s friend also put herself in timeout when her kid was young, like she literally said “mommy needs some quiet time now so she’s going to go to her room for a few minutes.”

life is killing me
Oct 28, 2007

majestic12 posted:

It’s a bad cycle for sure. Your kid is three right? We’ve put our three year old in her room by herself for a bit before she she’s having a tantrum. It’s a bit different than ‘go to your room’ because it only lasts as long as she’s screaming. Then we go in and talk calmly, and if she starts yelling again we just walk out again. In our case, trying to address a tantrum any other way just adds energy to the storm so the only thing to do is deny her the audience. The first time took about 20 minutes, but every time after that was a lot shorter.

Hope you’re able to get some good naps in. It’s been helpful for me to remember that they always go to sleep eventually.

My wife’s friend also put herself in timeout when her kid was young, like she literally said “mommy needs some quiet time now so she’s going to go to her room for a few minutes.”

My kid won’t stay in his room, he has to feel like it was his decision to go cry it out in his room. If we say he can walk or be carried to his room he will just say, “NOOOOOO” and stay where he is, carrying him there makes it worse and the second we put him down in there he’s running straight for the door so we have to stand or sit there while he tries to go through us over and over again. It is maddening.

If HE “chooses” to go, he will stay in there, eventually calm down and play, and come out when he feels ready. But mostly he’s just throwing a tantrum we don’t wanna listen to, we take him to his room and he just tries to get out and gets more and more angry so we get to listen to him run around the house crying and whining. We ignore him but the not listening poo poo is really grinding on me, and my brain has trouble thinking of redirects, and also likes to tell me that if I manage to redirect, all I did was negotiate with him and thus I lost even though it got him to do something resembling what I wanted him to.

It feels like he’s running the loving house because he’s so loving stubborn if he doesn’t wanna do something it’s not happening. Whatever we ask him to do, he does the opposite and any consequences we impose become a giant tantrum where we have to physically restrain him from doing what we just told him not to do. If we say stay in bed it just goes in one ear and out the other. Feels like we can’t win because no sleep, makes us irritated with each other and him, he’s irritated because he chose not to sleep, and is less likely to listen when tired and we get tantrums every day sometimes all day because he must get his way.

Lead out in cuffs
Sep 18, 2012

"That's right. We've evolved."

"I can see that. Cool mutations."




Koivunen posted:

Yeah Tylenol isn’t a great medication to give ona regular basis if your kid doesn’t need it, but giving some melatonin is so not a big deal. It’s a supplement, you can’t get your kid hooked on it, and if you get it in a natural-branded form, there’s nothing “mediciney” in there. Giving children’s Benadryl every once in a while is better than Tylenol if you have a choice. Not saying don’t give Tylenol, because little kids are always growing or having a tooth come in or something, and sometimes Tylenol works like a charm, but it’s not good to overdo it.

I like Zarbees night time cough because my daughter seems to always have a lingering cough, especially since it’s winter and cold. I think it’s Ivy extract and melatonin? I use it once a month or so when she’s still pumped up late into the evening and by the time bath is over she’s ready to snuggle in.

DON’T FEEL BAD ABOUT USING MEDICINE OR SUPPLEMENTS TO HELP YOUR CHILD SLEEP BETTER AND TO SAVE YOUR SANITY!!!! This stuff exists for a reason, it is a tool for you to use every once in a while. And don’t feel bad if you’re struggling with parenting right now, this past year has been incredibly difficult. If you need meds too , that’s what they’re there for. Sometimes you don’t realize how depressed and anxious you actually are until you’ve been on a medication and have gotten some sleep for a while.

I just wanted to note that melatonin is only considered a supplement in the US and Canada. In most parts of the world it's a scheduled drug and requires a prescription.

Don't get me wrong. We use it a lot for ourselves for jetlag and adjusting sleep schedules. We haven't yet talked about when it would be ok to use on our kid, and I'd want to do a bit more research and/or chat to our doctor first.

Edit: also definitely agree with your "don't feel bad about giving your kids the supplements or meds they and you need" part.

Dr. Chaco
Mar 30, 2005
From the fellow parent-of-a-three-year-old (almost 4 now): sleep sucked for us in similar ways for quite awhile, and now it's loads better. Ours would drag out bedtime by insisting one of us sit with him or lay down with him, for unreasonable lengths of time. We tried to gradually move closer and closer to the door, sit outside the door, limit the amount of time we would sit with him. It seemed like it was working, and then he started just getting out of bed and coming to his doorway to interact with us. We managed to enforce the idea that if he needed us for something, he had to be in his bed and asking politely ("MOM CAN YOU COME IN PLEASE") but then we had to start setting limits on how many times we would come in, "this is the last time I'm tucking you in tonight," etc.

Now, it's like magic. He goes down after story time and rarely gets up or calls us in even once before falling asleep. He also wakes up at night far, far less frequently. What we changed was ditching his naptime, which was painful for us but has been worth it. He gets up between 7:00 and 7:30am, and we had been trying to put him down at 7:30-8pm with one nap after lunch, and he was often not actually asleep until 9:30pm. Once we stopped doing the naptime, he was exhausted by 6 so we moved dinner up to 5 whenever possible, 6 at the latest, and goal is to have him in bed with lights out by 6:15-6:30pm (7 on the nights dinner isn't until 6).

For the first week or two after the new schedule he had some night terrors, which we've noticed more when he is overtired, and a couple days where he accidentally fell asleep at 4-5 and was mega-cranky to be woken up, but it passed. He has adjusted and is less exhausted by dinner time but still plenty tired and falls asleep with so few issues we've started to feel like we might actually know what we're doing with this whole parenting thing, which is, I am sure, dangerous hubris on our part.

Anyway, that's my experience with 3yo sleep. It was awful for awhile, and giving up the nap hurt because man, we liked the mid-day break, but if it makes him sleep better at night, it's totally worth it.

Hippie Hedgehog
Feb 19, 2007

Ever cuddled a hedgehog?

majestic12 posted:

We’ve put our three year old in her room by herself for a bit before she she’s having a tantrum. It’s a bit different than ‘go to your room’ because it only lasts as long as she’s screaming. Then we go in and talk calmly, and if she starts yelling again we just walk out again. In our case, trying to address a tantrum any other way just adds energy to the storm so the only thing to do is deny her the audience. The first time took about 20 minutes, but every time after that was a lot shorter.

Hope you’re able to get some good naps in. It’s been helpful for me to remember that they always go to sleep eventually.

My wife’s friend also put herself in timeout when her kid was young, like she literally said “mommy needs some quiet time now so she’s going to go to her room for a few minutes.”

Yeah these are both good tips. Timeouts are not just for baby. And a proper toddler tantrum can't be interrupted anyway so no use pretending like it can. Ours gets to lie on the floor where she threw herself unless she's in danger of hurting herself - trying to carry her out of the room just prolongs the tantrum. First couple of times it took a good 10 minutes to stop crying, but they've been shorter since then, usually no more than 2 or 3 minutes at a time before she can talk again.

Eggnogium
Jun 1, 2010

Never give an inch! Hnnnghhhhhh!
My kid is 13 months and has just started tantrums that aren’t easily mollified with a distracting toy or a bath. Something as simple as opening and closing the fridge to grab a snack will trigger 15 minutes of wailing because he’s being denied the chance to play with the shiny sauce bottles.

life is killing me
Oct 28, 2007

Eggnogium posted:

My kid is 13 months and has just started tantrums that aren’t easily mollified with a distracting toy or a bath. Something as simple as opening and closing the fridge to grab a snack will trigger 15 minutes of wailing because he’s being denied the chance to play with the shiny sauce bottles.

Gonna get worse before it gets better. Just wait until he realizes he’s an individual person and doesn’t have to listen to you

femcastra
Apr 25, 2008

If you want him,
come and knit him!

life is killing me posted:

Gonna get worse before it gets better. Just wait until he realizes he’s an individual person and doesn’t have to listen to you

You’re in the thick of it, and while you’re not wrong, maybe it’s best to take a breath. They call it the terrible twos for good reason, and it won’t last forever.

BonoMan
Feb 20, 2002

Jade Ear Joe
Our terrible twos are well into their fourth year.

space uncle
Sep 17, 2006

"I don’t care if Biden beats Trump. I’m not offloading responsibility. If enough people feel similar to me, such as the large population of Muslim people in Dearborn, Michigan. Then he won’t"


Man I was just bitching about low blood sugar but so far in the past 24 hours that has been solid and instead I’ve received the following concerns, requests, and complaints about:

1. High blood sugar
2. Air is too dusty, need to change filters
3. Primary care physician didn’t read chart, asked if diabetes was cured after pregnancy (lol)
4. Traffic was bad coming home
5. Late to dr appointment due to nursing. Doctor was mediocre
6. Boob hurts
7. Is it mastitis? Might be mastitis, hard and not producing. Keep trying to nurse/pump/compress and make another doctors appointment.
8. Coronavirus vaccine not available in our state for her yet.
9. Primary care told her to go to specialist for coronavirus vaccine referral. What’s the point of primary care then?
10. Why did you throw away the non stick pan now I have to cook turkey bacon in a stainless skillet and somehow create an enormous amount of burnt on carbon. Oh it’s not thrown away it was in the cabinet the whole time. Why did we buy expensive stainless skillets if they’re burning all the food don’t tell me I have the heat too high.
11. Can’t open jelly jar due to weakness in hands from nerve pain
12. Nerve pain really hurts in arm
13. Strange man in yard, get out of the bathroom and investigate (false alarm was pest control guy)
14. IUD has caused bleeding for 4 straight weeks now, which is normal. Still expecting another period however
15. Coronavirus vaccine not available in other state where parents live, so her parents can’t get it, so parents can’t visit and meet baby.
16. Local Mother in law being too happy about visiting baby, makes her feel worse that her parents can’t visit.
17. Mother in law gloating about high quality of swing purchased for infant, baby did not like the original swing purchased by her parents
18. Dog being annoying
19. Dog unfairly blamed for getting couch wet (it was actually me I tried to clean the dog slobber off with a stain remover)
20. Can’t unzip dress
21. Friend graciously offered to buy us food but I picked the wrong food and we can’t order that. She will pick
22. Employee at jimmy johns was dicknosing his mask and got yelled at by her (lol)
23. Feet hurt, could be neuropathy
24. The bachelor is a terrible show and the producers have it rigged but she will keep watching that garbage (this one made me lol)
25. Dropped phone behind couch while investigating mystery wet patch. I moved couch and retrieved it.

Ok thanks for letting me get all that poo poo off my chest. My wife is a lovely person and most of these are legitimate complaints, it was just a very high volume recently so I’m sharing our frustrations with the internet. That was cathartic. I will try and be a more supportive spouse.

PerniciousKnid
Sep 13, 2006
Sorry your wife is broken, hope she's under warranty.

PerniciousKnid
Sep 13, 2006

life is killing me posted:

My kid won’t stay in his room, he has to feel like it was his decision to go cry it out in his room. If we say he can walk or be carried to his room he will just say, “NOOOOOO” and stay where he is, carrying him there makes it worse and the second we put him down in there he’s running straight for the door

Congratulations, your new workout routine is 50 reps of putting screaming kid in bed. Get protein after.

space uncle
Sep 17, 2006

"I don’t care if Biden beats Trump. I’m not offloading responsibility. If enough people feel similar to me, such as the large population of Muslim people in Dearborn, Michigan. Then he won’t"


PerniciousKnid posted:

Sorry your wife is broken, hope she's under warranty.

She ordered some delicious pho and agreed to play Hades with her semi working hands. The boob clog was resolved and let loose a furious torrent of milk, hilariously. She enjoyed Hades quite a bit.

Had a great night with our baby and he FaceTimed with his grandparents, who were thrilled.

Lobsterpillar
Feb 4, 2014

space uncle posted:

She ordered some delicious pho and agreed to play Hades with her semi working hands. The boob clog was resolved and let loose a furious torrent of milk, hilariously. She enjoyed Hades quite a bit.

Had a great night with our baby and he FaceTimed with his grandparents, who were thrilled.

To be fair mastitis, sounds horrible.

Also, last year I broke my ankle, and from my 1.5 year old sons perspective, suddenly there was a fall and a lot of yelling, and then people came and took me away and I didn't come home from work the next day so he got upset and had trouble getting to sleep, but then the day after that he saw me on the computer screen and was happier. FaceTime and the like isn't perfect but it's better than not seeing them!

It did take him a while to adjust to the new regime of me not picking him up or walking around, but on the other hand I was always handy to read a story or play.

Oodles
Oct 31, 2005

One of my kids pissed the bed at 5:45 AM this morning, got her sorted and back to bed. Rather than tossing and turning for an hour and a half I got up and made myself a coffee and played DOTA

It was glorious.

I got screamed at by Russians, rather than my children.

life is killing me
Oct 28, 2007

I’ve been trying to practice sleep hygiene as of Monday night and have been in bed by 10, light off, no phone, trying to sleep. This was partially at wife’s request, partially at NP’s advice, partially because buspirone made me drowsy the first night.

But, we also got a red light/green light thing for our kiddo and spent a good amount of time explaining and quizzing him on what means what. I think it’s a Hatch Rest? Has white noise and can be controlled by Bluetooth app.

He slept through the night last night. And stayed in bed, too. A little early to tell if it was the light he obeyed or he was just tired enough that he didn’t wake up until 7, but either way...today has started on a decent note because of that alone

Oodles posted:

One of my kids pissed the bed at 5:45 AM this morning, got her sorted and back to bed. Rather than tossing and turning for an hour and a half I got up and made myself a coffee and played DOTA

It was glorious.

I got screamed at by Russians, rather than my children.

Interesting. I used to get up earlier than my kid and my wife to get some time to myself. Might try that again

Ben Nevis
Jan 20, 2011

life is killing me posted:


Interesting. I used to get up earlier than my kid and my wife to get some time to myself. Might try that again

I've been getting up an hour earlier than I need to, and well before everyone else, and taking a walk, just get out of the house. It was subfreezing this morning and my fingers hurt. And there was an hour with absolutely no one asking me for anything and it was awesome.

Oodles
Oct 31, 2005

life is killing me posted:

Interesting. I used to get up earlier than my kid and my wife to get some time to myself. Might try that again

There’s like a sweet spot of age where it works, then doesn’t as they’re like hawks and don’t like being in their bed, and then starts working again when they like their bed.

life is killing me
Oct 28, 2007

Oodles posted:

There’s like a sweet spot of age where it works, then doesn’t as they’re like hawks and don’t like being in their bed, and then starts working again when they like their bed.

Oh, well, guess I’m not trying it as soon as I think I am.

When I used to do it, it’d be around 5:30, I’d get up, make coffee, eat breakfast and chill at the table watching the sun come up.

Lately it’s been staying up until 11:30 even if I’m tired because my son didn’t nap very long, or at all, and/or has been a terror all day and I haven’t had a break at all. But because he wakes up at 6am and I’m not sleeping well at night, I can’t force myself to get up earlier than that. For now.

BadSamaritan
May 2, 2008

crumb by crumb in this big black forest


For real, keeping good sleep hygiene and a solid bedtime for myself has been my parenting survival strategy. Sometimes I get pretty bummed out that I don’t have as much me/down time as I would if I stayed up later, but honestly the sleep ends up being way more important for my mental health and parenting ability.

nachos
Jun 27, 2004

Wario Chalmers! WAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
I get up 2 hours before wife and kid to do whatever the gently caress I want to do whether it's video games or work or just to straight up waste time browsing random poo poo. It's the best part of the day and trading off 2 hours of sleep is absolutely worth it to keep my sanity.

life is killing me
Oct 28, 2007

I can barely get myself out of bed by 7:30 these days. That’s my own fault for staying up late knowing my son will be up early, but I’m totally willing to trade off some of that alone time for sleep at this point since it helps my mental state and it helps my pregnant wife.

Anyhoo, today is Western Day at my son’s daycare, so we put him in a little pearl snap shirt and Wrangler jeans. Too bad his school has a policy against cowboy boots! Not sure why there’s a Western Day when they know they have this policy but today he’s wearing chukkas since it’s the closest we can get to boots. He still looks ridiculous in that whole getup without cowboy boots...

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iceyman
Jul 11, 2001

I'm becoming quite concerned and distressed that my daughter refuses to express any affection towards me. Is this a normal phase or is it a warning sign that am I doing something wrong? She is ~2.25 years old. When asked to say good night at the end of the day, she refuses. When asked if she wants to give a hug or kiss, she refuses. And now today after watching her in the morning, she tells me to go away once someone else (more interesting?) comes around. I want to respect her autonomy and not force things, but godsdamn it's a dagger in my heart on a daily basis. I guess I just assumed kids would naturally show affection towards their parents, but I'm chopped liver to her it seems.

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