More shit that pisses you off: What does that say about the quality of your emails?

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > More shit that pisses you off: What does that say about the quality of your emails?

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KillHour: Oct 28, 2007

duffmensch posted:

I played this during our department staff meeting: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PZr142ka96k

It seemed to help management understand that we don't need to be on camera all the time, except for the ones that want to be micromanagers. If you can get away with it, something like FaceRig can be pretty helpful as well.

This is great because it gives me even more ideas on how to make the introverted losers on my team more uncomfortable than they already are.

# ? Mar 9, 2021 00:45

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# ? May 25, 2024 08:21

luminalflux: May 27, 2005

Biowarfare posted:

Smart card being removed locks your computer, and you can't change rooms or enter the loo without it?

I know a few banks that operate this way. I miss my employer where our workstations were SunRay terminals - asking a coworker to look at somethign was as easy as going over to their workstation, yanking their card and inserting yours. Or moving between the hardware lab and my office.

# ? Mar 9, 2021 00:46

CitizenKain: May 27, 2001; That was Gary Cooper, asshole.; Nap Ghost

KillHour posted:

This is great because it gives me even more ideas on how to make the introverted losers on my team more uncomfortable than they already are.

I'm extremely glad that since we are in an environment where everything MUST be run through citrix, that webcams perform so terribly in it that its impossible to use them. Sure a normal person would go "well, run that in a local session" but we don't do normal here.

# ? Mar 9, 2021 03:23

Aesis: Oct 9, 2012; Filthy J4G

I counted number of Slack channels I'm in today. 26 active, 24 inactive (notification off but mention alert is on). Not to mention occasional DM I get :smith:

xzzy posted:

We had the "we really think turning on cameras during zoom meetings will make everyone feel less isolated" lecture.

Uh but I LIKE being isolated. This has been the most enjoyable year of my entire IT career.

Company policy during Google Meet is that camera is recommended to be turned on (but not necessary) for bigger meetings and mandatory for team (5~10 people) meetings. Some people started putting up random background pictures to hide their rooms, and it's been working nicely tbh.

Fart Amplifier posted:

Why is there an unlocked computer without an employee at it?

When I see some other devs leaving their computers unlocked and unattended it makes me feel uneasy, because I always lock mine up even if I'm away for 30 seconds to grab a cup of water.

# ? Mar 9, 2021 03:46

CPColin: Sep 9, 2003; Big ol' smile.

An unlocked computer is a great vector for a humorous email to the all-employee list.

Or hit Win+R and type "poop" so the user comes back to an error that "Windows cannot find 'poop'"

# ? Mar 9, 2021 04:08

bull3964: Nov 18, 2000; DO YOU HEAR THAT? THAT'S THE SOUND OF ME PATTING MYSELF ON THE BACK.

We used to have a bagel policy. If your computer was unlocked, you suddenly found yourself offering to buy bagels for the team.

Hey, it came from your email, how could you change your mind?

# ? Mar 9, 2021 05:15

The Dreamer: Oct 15, 2013; Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn

CitizenKain posted:

I'm extremely glad that since we are in an environment where everything MUST be run through citrix, that webcams perform so terribly in it that its impossible to use them. Sure a normal person would go "well, run that in a local session" but we don't do normal here.

We run almost all of our desktops through VMware horizon. Our CEO has decided that everyone needs webcams now so they can be seen in meetings. So now we have a team trying to figure out how to make that work without burning down our current infrastructure in the process.

It doesn�t help that our bandwidth at each site is pretty ratcheted down. If multiple people join a meeting from a VDI desktop, it�ll max out bandwidth and start killing VDI sessions due to everyone having their cameras on.

So glad I�m not on the networking and infrastructure side of things.

# ? Mar 9, 2021 06:10

Wizard of the Deep: Sep 25, 2005; Another productive workday

The Dreamer posted:

We run almost all of our desktops through VMware horizon. Our CEO has decided that everyone needs webcams now so they can be seen in meetings. So now we have a team trying to figure out how to make that work without burning down our current infrastructure in the process.

It doesn�t help that our bandwidth at each site is pretty ratcheted down. If multiple people join a meeting from a VDI desktop, it�ll max out bandwidth and start killing VDI sessions due to everyone having their cameras on.

So glad I�m not on the networking and infrastructure side of things.

Could be worse. I specifically :yotj:

'd because my now-former CEO forced people back in the office last month.

# ? Mar 9, 2021 07:17

Impotence: Nov 8, 2010; Lipstick Apathy

is there nobody that is 'buddy buddy' enough with the ceo to tell them how stupid that idea is, just drop hints like 'saving the company millions in bandwidth costs and infrastructure requirements' and 'not getting legal liability in case you see or record something happening in a private home'

# ? Mar 9, 2021 07:26

Internet Explorer: Jun 1, 2005

It's not impossible to have webcams in VDI. It just involves offloading the video to the client device and it is not straightforward.

https://docs.microsoft.com/en-us/azure/virtual-desktop/teams-on-wvd

https://docs.citrix.com/en-us/citrix-virtual-apps-desktops/multimedia/opt-ms-teams.html

https://techzone.vmware.com/resource/microsoft-teams-optimization-vmware-horizon

# ? Mar 9, 2021 07:47

SlowBloke: Aug 14, 2017

Internet Explorer posted:

It's not impossible to have webcams in VDI. It just involves offloading the video to the client device and it is not straightforward.

https://docs.microsoft.com/en-us/azure/virtual-desktop/teams-on-wvd

https://docs.citrix.com/en-us/citrix-virtual-apps-desktops/multimedia/opt-ms-teams.html

https://techzone.vmware.com/resource/microsoft-teams-optimization-vmware-horizon

Also, depending on your conference platform, it can require special cams(sfb wants cams that output in h264 to make offload work)

# ? Mar 9, 2021 09:22

sixth and maimed: Mar 20, 2012; Fun Shoe

My wife is a nurse. Being married to an IT guy she heard a lot of me complaining about lax security, GDPR, sensitive data, etc. She has worked in several hospitals where computers on a floor (= ward) all had the same, never-to-be-changed password. In several instances, it was written down on a post-it on the monitor. One had the password Azerty (our version of Qwerty) for every computer. When she asked about how this was not really secure in in training she was shushed by horrified colleagues: "Don't talk about that! Maybe they will change it". She now works in a private center where she was told by the company rep training her in the new software for patient records that they didn't need password protection.

# ? Mar 9, 2021 09:42

Aesis: Oct 9, 2012; Filthy J4G

Sometimes I get vague questions or Jira issues, and one of today's Jira issue was: Weird case of fraud user detection showing user banned when it shouldn't be, please check.

Despite writing the fraud user detection system, I can't look up unless you tell me which environment (prod/staging) and uid the 'weird case' occurred from! :psyduck:

# ? Mar 9, 2021 09:48

Thanks Ants: May 21, 2004; #essereFerrari

The Dreamer posted:

We run almost all of our desktops through VMware horizon. Our CEO has decided that everyone needs webcams now so they can be seen in meetings. So now we have a team trying to figure out how to make that work without burning down our current infrastructure in the process.

It doesn�t help that our bandwidth at each site is pretty ratcheted down. If multiple people join a meeting from a VDI desktop, it�ll max out bandwidth and start killing VDI sessions due to everyone having their cameras on.

So glad I�m not on the networking and infrastructure side of things.

I normally use those sorts of requests as an opportunity to sneak through a bunch of upgrades I wanted to make anyway, and just write the proposal document in a way that links it to what the CEO wants.

# ? Mar 9, 2021 10:50

Super-NintendoUser: Jan 16, 2004; COWABUNGERDER COMPADRES; Soiled Meat

CPColin posted:

An unlocked computer is a great vector for a humorous email to the all-employee list.

Or hit Win+R and type "poop" so the user comes back to an error that "Windows cannot find 'poop'"

I've been up all morning so I'll post a few of my unlocked computer anecdote:

while working at a small airport while fueling planes, the cash register was a Windows XP computer with a touch screen. The cashier left it unlocked and I switched the desktop with a screenshot of the desktop and hid the icons so touching it did nothing. The girl struggled with it for a while, and while I hid and giggled, the manager (an absolutely insane sovereign citizen) came up and started screaming at her. I mean just let her have it. She was crying and he just lost his mind. I didn't tell them what happened, since I thought maybe he'd kill me. I don't remember how it resolved, but I'm super ashamed of that and I really regret it.
while working for a small hedgefund, they had an office manager with a desk in the reception area, so it was outside their keycard security door. They wanted her to keep her PC locked. She was really bad at it, so they got her a proximity badge and a little sensor that would detect if she moved. It worked horribly and if she swiveled her chair away it'd lock her PC. He hated it. She ended up just leaving it on the desk on the sensor most times, and the manager would yell at her about it
while working for a small MSP I used to find colleagues with locked computers and setup an Outlook rule that runs a batch file that forks and calls it self instantly a million times and locks up the computer. I set it to trigger an email comes in with a certain keyword. I'd wait few days and email my colleague that keyword and crash their computer
I'd find colleagues that had Pandora running, and I'd add Brittney Spears and other pop artists to their Pandora stations so while they were listening to whatever it'd mix in a bunch of stuff they didnt' like.

I'm not proud of any of these, and I don't do this now since absolutely no one finds this to be funny, but for the thread you guys can have it.

# ? Mar 9, 2021 12:14

The Dreamer: Oct 15, 2013; Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn

Internet Explorer posted:

It's not impossible to have webcams in VDI. It just involves offloading the video to the client device and it is not straightforward.

https://docs.microsoft.com/en-us/azure/virtual-desktop/teams-on-wvd

https://docs.citrix.com/en-us/citrix-virtual-apps-desktops/multimedia/opt-ms-teams.html

https://techzone.vmware.com/resource/microsoft-teams-optimization-vmware-horizon

I think this is the route we�re going to go. We�re currently using zero clients but will likely need to switch to thin clients to facilitate it.

Biowarfare posted:

is there nobody that is 'buddy buddy' enough with the ceo to tell them how stupid that idea is, just drop hints like 'saving the company millions in bandwidth costs and infrastructure requirements' and 'not getting legal liability in case you see or record something happening in a private home'

Not where I work. If the CEO wants something, he gets it. We tried to derail it early on by providing a quick budget for roll out that was in the 7 figure range between hardware and increased bandwidth needs. We thought the battle was won but they�ve started pushing on this again because he wants to see people�s faces in meetings.

# ? Mar 9, 2021 15:40

KillHour: Oct 28, 2007

Jerk McJerkface posted:

I'm not proud of any of these, and I don't do this now since absolutely no one finds this to be funny, but for the thread you guys can have it.

I wouldn't be proud of working for a hedge fund either.

# ? Mar 9, 2021 16:15

Lord Dudeguy: Sep 17, 2006; [Insert good English here]

The Dreamer posted:

I think this is the route we�re going to go. We�re currently using zero clients but will likely need to switch to thin clients to facilitate it.

10zig Zero Clients do AV with VMware Horizon.

# ? Mar 9, 2021 17:05

i am a moron: Nov 12, 2020; "I think if there’s one thing we can all agree on it’s that Penn State and Michigan both suck and are garbage and it’s hilarious Michigan fans are freaking out thinking this is their natty window when they can’t even beat a B12 team in the playoffs lmao"

I am getting pissed off by the absolute poo poo PMs assigned to my projects, not sure why I need them for sub-200 hour projects anyways. Too much overhead here, I miss mean lean consulting

# ? Mar 9, 2021 17:08

Woof Blitzer: Dec 29, 2012; [-]

Someone from my (overseas) team may have just caused 50+ client cases (big, big institutions) and I think some heads are going to roll. This is it, the purge is here. Abandon ship!

# ? Mar 9, 2021 17:10

Bob Morales: Aug 18, 2006; ~~Just wear the fucking mask, Bob~~

I don't care how many people I probably infected with COVID-19 while refusing to wear a mask, my comfort is far more important than the health and safety of everyone around me!

Doctor-land

Call everyone in the IT department, except the helpdesk. You can literally look around the room, watching desk phones lightning up, cells buzzing...

Complain about how you can't log into anything. Email, EMR, Citrix...why is everything broken?

Refuse help over the phone and insist someone come out on the floor to where you are.

Helpdesk tech who dropped everything he was doing to come out and pamper you, points out that user name is wrong. You work here...almost every day for the last five years. I get it that it can slip your mind.

# ? Mar 9, 2021 17:51

dragonshardz: May 2, 2017

Jerk McJerkface posted:

I've been up all morning so I'll post a few of my unlocked computer anecdote:

while working at a small airport while fueling planes, the cash register was a Windows XP computer with a touch screen. The cashier left it unlocked and I switched the desktop with a screenshot of the desktop and hid the icons so touching it did nothing. The girl struggled with it for a while, and while I hid and giggled, the manager (an absolutely insane sovereign citizen) came up and started screaming at her. I mean just let her have it. She was crying and he just lost his mind. I didn't tell them what happened, since I thought maybe he'd kill me. I don't remember how it resolved, but I'm super ashamed of that and I really regret it.

while working for a small hedgefund, they had an office manager with a desk in the reception area, so it was outside their keycard security door. They wanted her to keep her PC locked. She was really bad at it, so they got her a proximity badge and a little sensor that would detect if she moved. It worked horribly and if she swiveled her chair away it'd lock her PC. He hated it. She ended up just leaving it on the desk on the sensor most times, and the manager would yell at her about it

while working for a small MSP I used to find colleagues with locked computers and setup an Outlook rule that runs a batch file that forks and calls it self instantly a million times and locks up the computer. I set it to trigger an email comes in with a certain keyword. I'd wait few days and email my colleague that keyword and crash their computer

I'd find colleagues that had Pandora running, and I'd add Brittney Spears and other pop artists to their Pandora stations so while they were listening to whatever it'd mix in a bunch of stuff they didnt' like.

I'm not proud of any of these, and I don't do this now since absolutely no one finds this to be funny, but for the thread you guys can have it.

Jesus christ, the most I do is change their wallpaper to David Hasselhoff.

This is some straight up BOfH poo poo.

# ? Mar 9, 2021 18:05

The Iron Rose: May 12, 2012; Cat Army

a bomb that we've been talking about defusing for months without actually doing anything about it sorta almost exploded today

it's finally getting action on what's been a burning trashfire for about three months, but i hate that it takes flames licking at folk's heels to do this. We're now rushing a significant deployment into prod to stem bleeding rather than being able to take a step back and take a calm, measured approach.

# ? Mar 9, 2021 18:12

Potato Salad: Oct 23, 2014; nobody cares

I kinda want to take a wild guess: VDI?

# ? Mar 9, 2021 18:19

tactlessbastard: Feb 4, 2001; Godspeed, post; Fun Shoe

I've had a 6 hour meeting appear on my calendar that starts 2 hours before my usual work day

# ? Mar 9, 2021 18:21

i am a moron: Nov 12, 2020; "I think if there’s one thing we can all agree on it’s that Penn State and Michigan both suck and are garbage and it’s hilarious Michigan fans are freaking out thinking this is their natty window when they can’t even beat a B12 team in the playoffs lmao"

I got $100 on an enormous security vulnerability in an app they develop in house

# ? Mar 9, 2021 18:21

Internet Explorer: Jun 1, 2005

Hello everyone! Just a quick note to help out the folks who browse by bookmarks. We've started a SH/SC feedback thread and would love it if you stopped by to say hi and let us know what you think.

https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3961558

# ? Mar 9, 2021 18:31

Wibla: Feb 16, 2011

tactlessbastard posted:

I've had a 6 hour meeting appear on my calendar that starts 2 hours before my usual work day

drat, such a shame you won't be there for the first 2 hours of that meeting!

# ? Mar 9, 2021 18:58

Blue Footed Booby: Oct 4, 2006; got those happy feet

Wibla posted:

drat, such a shame you won't be there for the first 2 hours of that meeting!

Anything important enough to take up six loving hours is important enough to plan out ahead of time, including asking people about availability. I cannot imagine being such an rear end in a top hat that I not only demand most of a person's day, but don't even bother checking what their day actually is.

# ? Mar 9, 2021 19:09

Thanks Ants: May 21, 2004; #essereFerrari

Even if you're starting at the beginning of someone's day, people need to take lunch at some point

# ? Mar 9, 2021 19:11

sfwarlock: Aug 11, 2007

dragonshardz posted:

Jesus christ, the most I do is change their wallpaper to David Hasselhoff.

This is some straight up BOfH poo poo.

I used to use the giant head of Eddie Murphy on the freeway.
https://www.flickr.com/photos/hayleygrimes/2604435721

# ? Mar 10, 2021 00:39

BallerBallerDillz: Jun 11, 2009; Cock, Rules, Everything, Around, Me; Scratchmo

poo poo that pisses this guy off? Not having a proper BCDR plan for when there's fire in the cloud.

https://twitter.com/Onepamopa/status/1369490183616356352?s=19

# ? Mar 10, 2021 04:55

Domus: May 7, 2007; Kidney Buddies

I got initiated into my job�s cargo cult of Netsuite today. Now, I�ve never touched netsuite before, but you�d think it involved magical incantations, the way they use it. They know exactly the steps to get something done, but they don�t seem to be able to make the slightest change in procedure. The steps for logging in the units we repair involve unchecking a few checkboxes. I was being shown this and I asked, innocently, why the default wasn�t set to have the boxes unchecked in the first place. I thought it was a reasonable question, given that the form is only used by our department. There was almost a literal record scratch. Everyone got a deer in headlights look. �Because these are the steps,� I was told. Alright then.

Entertaining line items seems to be done strangely too. You have to fill out the line, and then click the �add� button, for the line to actually be added to the bill. Because most of the fields auto fill, thank god, you end entry with focus on a field that can contain multiple lines of text. You can�t just hit return to add the line, because it just puts a carriage return. So you have to take your hands off the keyboard, mouse to the add button, and then return to typing the next line. For 200 items per shipment. Multiple daily shipments. I can�t fathom there not being a shortcut key for the add button, but no one knows what a shortcut key is.

# ? Mar 10, 2021 05:32

vanity slug: Jul 20, 2010

BallerBallerDillz posted:

poo poo that pisses this guy off? Not having a proper BCDR plan for when there's fire in the cloud.

https://twitter.com/Onepamopa/status/1369490183616356352?s=19

I like the guts of this guy: https://twitter.com/Sensity_RP/status/1369496048998223873
It's a loving GTA RP server, chill out

# ? Mar 10, 2021 13:07

Kyrosiris: May 24, 2006; You try to be happy when everyone is summoning you everywhere to "be their friend".

Jeoh posted:

It's a loving GTA RP server, chill out

In my experience working for a budget-to mid-tier hosting company, gamers were the loving worst. GTA and Minecraft hosts especially made me want to drink myself into a coma.

It sucks because I can't even enjoy those games themselves anymore, because my brain dredges up old anxiety about some 14 year old screaming about why we can't shove 128GB of RAM into their server and keep the price under $80/mo.

# ? Mar 10, 2021 13:21

Bob Morales: Aug 18, 2006; ~~Just wear the fucking mask, Bob~~

I don't care how many people I probably infected with COVID-19 while refusing to wear a mask, my comfort is far more important than the health and safety of everyone around me!

I guess all of our old switches are gonna die this year. drat you Coronvirus we were going to replace them all last year but it got cut due to budgets.

Second one in like a month? HP 5500, the old Comware ones. Won't say that I'll miss them.

Also how does this happen 12 hours ago and nobody reports it? Half the cameras and AP's are down.

Will need to look into tweaking our monitoring setup so that when a single switch in a stack dies, we get notified.

# ? Mar 10, 2021 13:55

Impotence: Nov 8, 2010; Lipstick Apathy

Kyrosiris posted:

It sucks because I can't even enjoy those games themselves anymore, because my brain dredges up old anxiety about some 14 year old screaming about why we can't shove 128GB of RAM into their server and keep the price under $80/mo.

I pay less than that. OVH black friday. There's a full API for reboots, enabling ddos mitigation, etc.

# ? Mar 10, 2021 14:27

Kyrosiris: May 24, 2006; You try to be happy when everyone is summoning you everywhere to "be their friend".

Biowarfare posted:

I pay less than that. OVH black friday. There's a full API for reboots, enabling ddos mitigation, etc.

Yeah fair, but this was also like 8 years ago. :v:

# ? Mar 10, 2021 14:37

Internet Explorer: Jun 1, 2005

My company just tried to implement change management by inviting everyone to an empty Teams channel and inviting everyone to a meeting the next day. I mean like 20+ people, all different departments. They took 5 minutes to explain the mechanics of our new change management process (A -> B -> C), but not what it is, what's under scope, what we're trying to solve, etc., and then went on to 3 change management requests that needed to be rammed through. When I asked what needed to go through the change management process, the answer was "everything, no matter the significance, that effects more than 1 person." And now everyone in that meeting expects nothing to get changed on them that might break something or change the way they work, not even 3rd party systems or things like Windows/Office patches.

lol

It's like they looked up "how not to do change management" and followed the directions.

# ? Mar 10, 2021 21:17

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# ? May 25, 2024 08:21

Mr. Fix It: Oct 26, 2000; 💀ayyy💀

currently pissing my whole company off:

https://downdetector.com/status/dyn/

get the feeling that our migration away from dyn is gonna be accelerated :P

# ? Mar 11, 2021 01:25

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > More shit that pisses you off: What does that say about the quality of your emails?

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