UKMT March 2021 - Two Flags One Pole - The Something Awful Forums

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Debate & Discussion > UKMT March 2021 - Two Flags One Pole

Microplastics: Jul 6, 2007; It's what's for dinner.

Ash Crimson posted:

Everyday I wake up and think "god this country loving sucks rear end lol"

I include Scotland in that as well

If the country sucked rear end at least we'd be doing something entertaining

E: Video 55 on xtube is titled "Rimming KeithBear's Furry rear end". That's my snipe, hope you enjoyed it

Microplastics fucked around with this message at 12:45 on Mar 11, 2021

# ? Mar 11, 2021 12:43

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# ? May 24, 2024 23:52

The Saviour: Feb 19, 2006

Danger - Octopus! posted:

Starmer is talking right now about how he'd make women safer and his plan is *checks news* more police. He really chose a great moment for that gem.

"Any new police hire will not be allowed to go off duty, to reduce the chance they will do an illegal murder"

# ? Mar 11, 2021 12:44

SixFigureSandwich: Oct 30, 2004; Exciting Lemon

MrNemo posted:

The basic reason public departments (but also somewhat large corporates too) are semi-staffed by contractors costing 3x as much is simply down to how budgeting works for these orgs and laziness on the part of managers. Permanent staff require pensions, expected longer term costs as well as all the relevant job protections and thus senior management require a fair amount of justification for why they need to increase headcount. The basic 'perfect sphere in a vacuum' reasoning is many tasks in these orgs are project based and require somewhat specialised knowledge/experience, therefore you want permanent staff to do continual tasks but contractors to work projects - thereby achieving the ideal balance of minimising costs to hire and get rid of staff you need for specific stuff and minimising running costs of staff to do the actual work. It also makes sense for specific projects because your regular staff have day jobs and, from my experience, it is a lot easier to get budget to hire a consulting team who are 100% focused on a change project than overloading existing staff. I'll allow this needs to be managed well or you end up with a bunch of consultants coming in, setting up some fancy new system/tools and then disappearing without anyone really noticing and then a year later you have to explain why this new fancy system isn't being used by anyone. That is a failure of the consulting team and the client's management though rather than necessarily some vampiric conspiracy run by McKinsey (further caveat that if this is happening consistently enough there might not be a functional difference)

This falls down for a couple of reasons - firstly project work often tends to run into each other i.e. frequently projects are actually related and skills needed for the first project transfer over to a project capitalising on the success of that, etc. so you can end up with the same contractor or team keeping on for a few years. Secondly is management laziness (plus institutional aversion to hiring people, which makes it a massive ballache). I've got a friend who took on a departmental management role in the Civil service and he basically spent his first year in post writing business cases to hire on most of the contractors in as civil servants, which almost halved his salary costs. That was basically his whole job for the first year or so he was in though.

Consultants make sense in the abstract, the problem is that institutions have gotten so phobic regarding growing internal talent or trusting their own planning to know how many people that they need that they relentlessly err on the side of just contracting out things. Government contracts are in some ways worse for this because basically the two factors are: Have you got a track record of winning these contracts and Are you the cheapest bid? The result is that work that could well be done internally by expanding and growing existing capability isn't being done because they don't want the risk of internal failure and don't want the commitment in budgets of hiring and putting in place teams to handle the work. Personally from an layman perspective, I'd have thought the best approach the government could take would be a Public/Private partnership style thing of setting up a civil service equivalent to all this crap - an internal tech/management consultancy that effectively exists to provide expertise running change and transformation projects within other government departments. gently caress, keep the same basic business model going to attract the same sort of talent (if that's important) but company 'profits' basically get returned to the Treasury. Of course that would mean not changing suppliers every 3-10 years, which obviously means that it won't be as cost efficient for *reasons*.

A a consultant I think this is fairly accurate, though a lot of contracts we bid on are scored on both quality and price, usually 30-50% quality versus 70-50% price, depending on how much budget the client has. This is in environment/infrastructure consultancy though so we are expected to actually do work and deliver something tangible.

# ? Mar 11, 2021 12:45

TheRat: Aug 30, 2006

https://twitter.com/matthew1butcher/status/1369969955878412296

"The people have spoken, and we have listened" -Labour Frontbench

# ? Mar 11, 2021 12:49

CoolCab: Apr 17, 2005; glem

i guess, does it matter what starmer does or doesn't do at this point? he'd be competing with loving lazarus if he could revive the party's chances in may.

# ? Mar 11, 2021 12:51

Jaeluni Asjil: Apr 18, 2018; Sorry I thought you were a landlord when I gave you your old avatar!

Wachter posted:

Just want to chime in on conferencechat and say that business awards are basically the same scam: you're a CEO and you have a mate who sits on the board of an award body. Your company gets recognised for some spurious achievement (preferably something unquantifiable where you don't need to or can't show your working, like "Most Influential Female CEO") , your company pays an attendance fee, your execs get a nice expenses paid champagne dinner, you get to put a little jpeg in your company's email signature, everybody's happy. Chances are that mate is also consulting for you, or works for a company that coincidentally wins a procurement contract with your company.

The phrase "award winning" generally means exactly gently caress all and you should rightfully be wary of working for companies that won't shut up about how many awards they've won, because they're just bullet points on someone's LinkedIn profile.

I've worked alongside a organisation that won an award for Best New Something-or-other before the organisation even officially existed. The photo of the award ceremony is particularly funny: the organisation's second in command is accepting the award on behalf of the manager, who couldn't accept it himself because he's the guy handing out the loving award

I think it was Dave Gorman who did an episode on awards - 'voted best in class for cat food flavour duck & osprey' (awarded to only firm doing duck & osprey flavoured cat food). (NB I made that example up it isn't one Gorman did but I can't remember specifics). Essentially they make such narrow categories that only 1 or 2 firms satisfy that just about any product can win a 'voted best' award.

Ed: Found the episode: relevant bit starts around 25 mins in I think (I skipped through)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3wa9SpmLJUE

Jaeluni Asjil fucked around with this message at 12:56 on Mar 11, 2021

# ? Mar 11, 2021 12:52

Darth Walrus: Feb 13, 2012

CoolCab posted:

i guess, does it matter what starmer does or doesn't do at this point? he'd be competing with loving lazarus if he could revive the party's chances in may.

I dunno, he could manage the comedy option of dropping Labour below the Lib Dems or Greens if he really puts his back into it.

# ? Mar 11, 2021 12:54

Josef bugman: Nov 17, 2011; Pictured: Poster prepares to celebrate Holy Communion (probablY)

This avatar made possible by a gift from the Religionthread Posters Relief Fund

Darth Walrus posted:

I dunno, he could manage the comedy option of dropping Labour below the Lib Dems or Greens if he really puts his back into it.

Yeah, it's starting to go through the "tragedy then farce" timeline in a record amount of time.

Seriously, the entirety of this is so loving stupid.

# ? Mar 11, 2021 12:59

Jedit: Dec 10, 2011; Proudly supporting vanilla legends 1994-2014

Darth Walrus posted:

I dunno, he could manage the comedy option of dropping Labour below the Lib Dems or Greens if he really puts his back into it.

If you believe that Starmer is in place to permanently wreck the Labour Party, then it logically follows that he's not acting like the leader of the opposition because before Labour, under a Tory government the LOTO would have been a Liberal.

# ? Mar 11, 2021 12:59

Algol Star: Sep 6, 2010

"We need to hire more police to protect women from other police attacking them"

"Won't they start attacking women too"

"No, that's the beautiful part. When wintertime rolls around, they simply freeze to death"

# ? Mar 11, 2021 13:02

Convex: Aug 19, 2010

https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2021/mar/11/royal-family-very-much-not-racist-prince-william

"Are you racist?"
"No"

*dashes into zoom meeting* HOLD THE FRONT PAGE, BREAKING MEGA SCOOP

# ? Mar 11, 2021 13:19

Niric: Jul 23, 2008

Darth Walrus posted:

https://twitter.com/siennamarla/status/1369972425392283653?s=21

https://twitter.com/siennamarla/status/1369976219333197824?s=21

Goddamn, that's the editor of LabourList (usually a model of interfactional neutrality) chewing Starmer out over this.

I am the very model of interfactional neutrality
I've sources neoliberal, center-ist and ta-anky
I know the party schisms and I quote the fights historical
From National Gov to Change UK, in order that is notable;

I'm very well acquainted too with MPs hypocritical
I understand elections, both the simple and perplexical
Of focus groups and polling stats I have a lot to tell to ya---
In many lengthy post under the pseudonym of Ronya

# ? Mar 11, 2021 13:25

bump_fn: Apr 12, 2004; _{two of them}

https://twitter.com/Your_Pal_Billy/status/1369440213240516618

# ? Mar 11, 2021 13:40

Angrymog: Jan 30, 2012; Really Madcats

bump_fn posted:

https://twitter.com/Your_Pal_Billy/status/1369440213240516618

I don't really understand the appeal of tacos, but that does look like violence.

# ? Mar 11, 2021 13:41

josh04: Oct 19, 2008; "THE FLASH IS THE REASON
TO RACE TO THE THEATRES"
_{This title contains sponsored content.}

Angrymog posted:

I don't really understand the appeal of tacos, but that does look like violence.

They're just a sort of rigid pasty.

# ? Mar 11, 2021 13:44

stev: Jan 22, 2013; Please be excited.

Hard tacos are naturally flawed because it's impossible to stop it from cracking as soon as you bite into it.

# ? Mar 11, 2021 13:48

Communist Thoughts: Jan 7, 2008; Our war against free speech cannot end until we silence this bronze beast!

Starmers response to BLM was also to say we needed more cops.

It's pretty clear what he's about. The dude is a loving psychopath

# ? Mar 11, 2021 13:48

Jippa: Feb 13, 2009

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZFFahNWjUz8

# ? Mar 11, 2021 13:49

TheRat: Aug 30, 2006

Communist Thoughts posted:

Starmers response to BLM was also to say we needed more cops.

It's pretty clear what he's about. The dude is a loving psychopath

Nownow, he did also kneel awkwardly before he said it was a moment not a movement.

# ? Mar 11, 2021 13:52

peanut-: Feb 17, 2004; Fun Shoe

bump_fn posted:

https://twitter.com/Your_Pal_Billy/status/1369440213240516618

I always click on stuff like this and am amazed by the number of replies that think it's real. Like the internet, and particularly Twitter, must be a very scary and confusing place for people who believe everything they see on it so readily.

# ? Mar 11, 2021 13:56

suck my woke dick: Oct 10, 2012; I CANNOT EJACULATE WITHOUT SEEING NATIVE AMERICANS BRUTALISED!

Put this cum-loving slave on ignore immediately!

Stormgale posted:

https://twitter.com/PaulBrandITV/status/1369917185733365761

Well, this is going well.

Heres hoping there isnt some addition anti LGBT legislation in the pipeline that's causing these.

Nah they're planning a bathroom bill to appease the TERFs it looks like.

# ? Mar 11, 2021 13:58

Pistol_Pete: Sep 15, 2007; Oven Wrangler

OwlFancier posted:

Glad to see that rayner is just as much of a useless sack of poo poo as starmer tbh, seems pretty predictable.

Rayner definitely suffers from imposter syndrome, she always gives off those faintly terrified, 'supply teacher who can't control the class' vibes.

# ? Mar 11, 2021 13:58

Bobby Deluxe: May 9, 2004

Ash Crimson posted:

Everyday I wake up and think "god this country loving sucks rear end lol"

I include Scotland in that as well

EVERY MORNING I WAKE UP AND OPEN PALM SLAM MY HAND INTO MY OWN FACE. ITS NORMAL ISLAND AND RIGHT THEN AND THERE I START DOING THE MOVES ALONGSIDE WITH THE MAIN CHARACTER, KIETH STARMAN. I ABSTAIN ON EVERY VOTE AND I ABSTAIN ON EVERY VOTE HARD. MAKIN FORENSIC SOUNDS AT PMQS OR EVEN WHEN I LEGALISE COP MURDER. NOT MANY CAN SAY THEY ATE A WHOLE BAG OF WET EGGS. I CAN. I SAY IT AND I SAY IT OUTLOUD EVERYDAY TO PEOPLE IN MY FOCUS GROUP AND ALL THEY DO IS PROVE PEOPLE IN FOCUS GROUPS ARE ALWAYS RIGHT. AND IVE LEARNED ALL THE RIGHT WING TALKING POINTS AND IVE LEARNED HOW TO MAKE MYSELF AND MY APARTMENT LESS LONELY BY SHOUTING EM ALL. 2 HOURS INCLUDING WIND DOWN EVERY MORNing. Then i cry

# ? Mar 11, 2021 14:00

Inexplicable Humblebrag: Sep 20, 2003

kromb stabbler

# ? Mar 11, 2021 14:07

MikeCrotch: Nov 5, 2011; I AM UNJUSTIFIABLY PROUD OF MY SPAGHETTI BOLOGNESE RECIPE

YES, IT IS AN INCREDIBLY SIMPLE DISH

NO, IT IS NOT NORMAL TO USE A PEPPERAMI INSTEAD OF MINCED MEAT

YES, THERE IS TOO MUCH SALT IN MY RECIPE

NO, I WON'T STOP SHARING IT

more like BOLLOCKnese

The key with hard tacos is to put them inside a soft taco (i.e a tortilla) :eng101:

# ? Mar 11, 2021 14:11

TACD: Oct 27, 2000

thespaceinvader posted:

gently caress fake conferences, a lot of 'real' conferences are this as well.

Large, publicly funded research orgs are frequently a complete mess both financialy and managerially, whether they're trying to actually ddo useful work, or whether they're just there to soak up loose money from whatever department.

Yea the last conference I was at featured a heavier drinking schedule than most music festivals I�ve attended, with a pretty obscene feast in an art gallery to close it out.

It was all EU funded though, haha! *flips the bird while running out the door*

# ? Mar 11, 2021 14:11

Breath Ray: Nov 19, 2010

Ewan posted:

�37bn is an insane amount of money but worth keeping discussions over figures factual here. Trying to divvie up �37bn (or even �27bn) as if that has been spent on trace is not really right. It is allocated funding covering a two year period. The vast majority is allocated towards testing and only a small amount has actually been spent.

The allocations have been in three stages: initially, �15bn was allocated for 2020-21. The spending review added �7bn to bring it to �22bn, and then then the latest budget committed a further �15bn for 2021-22 bringing the total budget allocated to �37bn covering 2020-2022.

Because the data does not exist for expenditure since end of the year, the caveat is that we have to use the December 2020 expenditure data. But it still gives you an idea of how that �37bn will be allocated.

Of the �15bn initial allocation, only �1.3bn (less than 10%) was allocated to trace (and about �730m of that was for the call handler contracts (where you got your 12,000 figure)). The rest was pretty much all for testing. The further �7bn in the SR was, likewise, predominantly for testing.

And it's worth noting that as of the Dec 2020 data, despite having a �22bn 2020-21 budget at this stage, it had only actually signed contracts for �7bn with the rest to come later (noting it has to do so before end of FY so no idea if on track or not).

I'm not disputing that �37bn is a ridiculous amount of money, nor am I making any comment on how good or not test & trace has or hasn't been. But, if you want to dig in and be critical of how the government is spending money you at least need to be using the right facts and figures. As amusing as it is to claim they are spending �2.19 million per tracing consultant, it's also just plain false and doesn't help have proper debate over where the system has failed.

If you use similar proportions as per 2020-21 budget allocations (so let's say 10-15% of the �36bn ends up going to trace) then that ends up being approx. �1.5-2bn per yr. This gets us firmly into "lots of overpaid consultants and some very pricey public procurements contracts" territory rather than "we are 50 orders of magnitude out here and billions have been secretly funnelled away in some corrupt conspiracy.

My sources here are the National Audit Office report on Test & Trace (Dec 2020) and the Parliamentary Public Accounts Committee report (March 2021).

thanks for this, please keep posting

# ? Mar 11, 2021 14:30

bump_fn: Apr 12, 2004; _{two of them}

# ? Mar 11, 2021 14:34

Darth Walrus: Feb 13, 2012

Abstaining on a bill that legalises rape, torture, and murder by undercover police, and then responding to a Special Branch officer killing a woman by calling for the government to hire more police.

Incredible politicking. Absolutely incredible.

# ? Mar 11, 2021 14:43

ItohRespectArmy: Sep 11, 2019; Cutest In The World, Six Time DDT Ironheavymetalweight champion, Two Time International Princess champion, winner of two tournaments, a Princess Tag Team champion, And a pretty good singer too!
"When I was an idol, I felt nothing every day but now that I'm a pro wrestler I'm in pain constantly!"

keith is one bad day away from rebranding labour to the BUF

# ? Mar 11, 2021 14:44

Failed Imagineer: Sep 22, 2018

MikeCrotch posted:

The key with hard tacos is to put them inside a soft taco (i.e a tortilla)

I guess, but then why the hard taco at all? Sure there's some added texture, but it just seems like the equivalent of making a toasted sandwich and then putting it inside a floury bap.

# ? Mar 11, 2021 14:48

Borrovan: Aug 15, 2013; IT IS ME.
🧑‍💼
I AM THERESA MAY

The trick to tacos is just not giving a poo poo about the mess :eng101:

# ? Mar 11, 2021 14:50

Aphex-: Jan 29, 2006; Dinosaur Gum

Hard tacos are an affront to the good taco name. Soft tacos or nothing.

# ? Mar 11, 2021 14:50

Unkempt: May 24, 2003; ...perfect spiral, scientists are still figuring it out...

Failed Imagineer posted:

making a toasted sandwich and then putting it inside a floury bap.

God that sounds good.

# ? Mar 11, 2021 14:55

Bobby Deluxe: May 9, 2004

I really like fajitas, except the only flavour sachets the local shops sell are those bbq flavour abominations, plus they're a right faff to cook and you can't get good salsa in the UK.

# ? Mar 11, 2021 14:58

Darth Walrus: Feb 13, 2012

ItohRespectArmy posted:

keith is one bad day away from rebranding labour to the BUF

https://twitter.com/peterayersbfg/status/1360507311249326082?s=21

I feel like 'bad day' is an extremely subjective phrase where Starmer is concerned.

# ? Mar 11, 2021 14:58

Bobby Deluxe: May 9, 2004

Why does his face look like it was badly photoshopped in every picture he's in?

# ? Mar 11, 2021 15:00

Darth Walrus: Feb 13, 2012

Bobby Deluxe posted:

Why does his face look like it was badly photoshopped in every picture he's in?

Ironically, the picture you're asking that about also provides the answer.

Whisky bloat is a hell of a thing.

# ? Mar 11, 2021 15:01

Doctor_Fruitbat: Jun 2, 2013

Hard tacos are delish and provide a nice, crunchy texture, just bring a napkin and dig in.

Might have tacos tonight myself now, I have some ingredients to eat up that go great in a hard shell taco.

# ? Mar 11, 2021 15:06

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# ? May 24, 2024 23:52

Miftan: Mar 31, 2012; Terry knows what he can do with his bloody chocolate orange...

You eat hard tacos over a bowl of rice which you then eat along with all the tacos bits that fell in it. (for maximum flavour cook the rice with a cube of veg stock and add a tiny bit of lime juice)

# ? Mar 11, 2021 15:26

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